A/N: Here we are, loyal readers. If you haven't read the previous chapter (I know email alerts have been kind of crazy), I highly suggest you check and make sure to do so. This one might not make much sense if you don't. Anyway, hope you enjoy!
Just as Jenny was about to walk into her office, her arm was grabbed by Cynthia Sumner, halting her steps, her voice urgent.
"Director, wait. Before you go in there, you should know: you have a call waiting on line one. It's a conference call with SecNav...and Leon Vance."
Jenny's heart instantly began to race, and her hands began to shake, but she merely nodded, determined to keep her composure. Her assistant opened the office door, and as the redhead made her way to her desk, she nodded her thanks.
"Cynthia, I may need you to call Agent Gibbs when this is over."
"Yes, ma'am."
Once the door had closed behind the younger woman, Jenny reached for her phone, taking a deep breath. One way or another, she had no choice but to deal with this, and she closed her eyes slowly.
"Shepard."
"Good morning, Jennifer."
"Good morning, Secretary Winter. Good morning, Leon."
"Jenny. How are you?"
Jenny rolled her eyes, knowing damn well that Vance didn't really care, but she forced herself to answer him warmly, gripping the edge of her desk with her free hand.
"Fine. If I may, what's the purpose of this call?"
She heard Winter take a deep breath, and she immediately froze, her racing pulse making it difficult for her to breathe.
"Jennifer, it's been brought to my attention that you've recently received some unsettling medical news, and as difficult as it is, there are certain things that need to be discussed."
"I see. What did you have in mind, sir?"
"As you can imagine, it's unheard of to have the Director of a federal agency continue to work when they've lost their vision. You've done exceptionally well in your current role, but—"
"You're firing me, sir?"
As panicked as she was, Jenny couldn't quite keep the anger from her voice, and her grip on the wood tightened.
"Believe me, this isn't the way I wanted this to go. You've been a major asset to this agency, and given everything that you've gone through this past year—"
"Wait. Just a minute. I've been managing just fine given the circumstances, and I know it isn't an ideal situation, but the only aspect in which this might be an issue is overseeing ops. I have an assistant, and Cynthia's more than excelled in her duties, she's already agreed to help me in that regard."
Though she knew she likely sounded pathetic, begging for her job like a child, Jenny didn't care. She'd already given so much of her life to her work, she didn't know what she would do if it were suddenly ripped away from her.
"Please," she said, her voice verging on tears, "Just give me a chance. Leon, you know I can do this. I've already lost so much, don't take this away from me."
"What steps have you taken to accommodate your limitations?" Vance asked carefully.
As shocked as she was, Jenny nearly laughed. It actually sounded as though he wanted to help her. She knew Vance had never been her biggest fan, knew he had always wanted her chair, and honestly, she didn't blame him. If the roles were reversed, she didn't know if she would have been as gracious as he presently was.
"I've gotten my computer set up to read any written documents that I receive aloud, I can conduct most of my duties over the phone, and any ops that need to be overseen can be done with the help of my assistant. Just give me a month. If I can't perform my job to your liking at the end of that time, I'll give you my resignation without issue. Please."
There was a long silence following her words, and when she heard Secretary Winter's voice come back on the line, she jumped.
"Very well, Jennifer. One month. I'll be in touch."
"Thank you, sir."
Before she had time to react, the call was disconnected, and she placed her phone back in its cradle, trying to control the shaking in her hands. She swore softly when it began to ring again, and as she picked it back up, she cursed herself for being so easily startled.
"Shepard."
"Jenny, it's Leon. I just wanted you to know that I'm pulling for you."
She couldn't help the slightly bitter laugh that fell from her lips, and she shook her head.
"You've always wanted my job."
"Not like this. You've earned the right to keep it. You deserve the position more than anyone. If there's anything I can do to help you, don't hesitate to ask."
"You're messing with me."
"No, I'm not. As much as you might not want to believe me, I don't have any hard feelings towards you. Come on, Shepard. Just trust me."
She considered his request carefully, and when she finally nodded to herself, she sighed.
"If you fuck me over, you will regret it, Leon."
"Understood. And I won't. Have a good day, Jenny. Call if you need anything."
"I will. And Leon? Thank you."
She hung up, still more than a little shaken, and as she laid her head on her desk, Jenny tried desperately to fight the tears she wanted to let fall.
Gibbs glanced over at McGee's desk as he noticed that the agent had been even more quiet than usual, and frowned when he noticed him checking his phone.
"McGee. Conference room."
The younger man nodded, making his way to the elevator, and as soon as the doors had slid shut behind them, Gibbs threw the lift into darkness.
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah. Beth's having a hard time today. Zelda's been crying all day, and she doesn't know how to make her stop."
Gibbs smiled, remembering the early days of Kelly's infancy.
"You got a dryer?"
McGee nodded, confused.
"Yeah, but...wait. Boss, I can't put my baby daughter in a dryer!"
Gibbs shook his head, laughing quietly. Leave it to McGee's exhausted mind to come up with the most ridiculous of assumptions.
"No, you put her in the carrier, and turn on the dryer. Put the carrier on the top. The rocking will calm her down, and Beth can take a few minutes for a break."
"...Oh..."
"Text Beth, tell her to try it. And then ask her if she minds having company after work. The Director wants to spend time with her goddaughter."
"Thanks, boss. I will."
Gibbs placed his hand on the younger man's shoulder, and when his eyes noticed the silver wedding band, McGee stared at him in shock.
"Gibbs...is that...a wedding ring?"
A simple wink was all the answer he needed.
When the door to her office was thrown open, Jenny sighed, tapping her nails anxiously on the smooth surface of her desk.
"Do you ever knock, Jethro?"
He shrugged, shutting the door, and made his way closer, not picking up on her unease yet.
"What's the point? If I knocked, you'd think there was a national emergency."
Sitting down on the opposite side of her desk, he finally noticed that she wasn't really focused on their conversation, and he frowned.
"What's wrong?"
"SecNav called me this morning. Gave me a month to prove that I can still do my job. If he's not satisfied, I have to step down."
Gibbs was so suddenly angry that it made his hands begin to shake, and he glared at her, though his rage was in no way her fault.
"That's bullshit. You've done perfectly, even blind. How did he even find out? This has Vance written all over it."
Jenny shook her head, hair falling from the clip she'd thrown it in that morning, and smiled exhaustedly.
"No, actually. Leon offered his help, in any way I'd need. Believe me, I was as surprised as you look right now."
He stared at her, for one fleeting moment hoping she could actually see him, and she shook her head again, sighing.
"No, I can't see you. I just know you well enough to know what your face looks like."
He laughed, standing and making his way around to the other side of her desk, wrapping his arms around her.
"You can do this, Jen. You're going to kick ass and prove them all wrong. You're not the fearless leader for nothing."
Jenny laughed at the nickname, and he kissed her cheek, resting his chin on the top of her head.
"By the way, McGee knows."
She frowned, but when he tapped her wedding band with his finger, she suddenly understood.
"Really? McGee, who's spent the last few weeks taking care of his new baby that likely doesn't even have a normal sleep schedule yet, noticed it before anyone else?"
Gibbs nodded, kissing her again.
"Ziva will be next. DiNozzo will undoubtedly be the last."
Jenny rolled her eyes, holding out her hand, and when he took it, she brought his to her lips, kissing his fingers gently.
"Give Tony some credit. He's not you, but he's a damned good investigator."
Though he hated to admit it, she made a very good point.
Elizabeth Hale was at her wits end. Her boyfriend had gone to work, leaving her alone with their newborn daughter, who hadn't stopped crying since late the night before, and she didn't have the slightest idea of what to do. Her phone chimed, signaling a text, and when she reached for it, she laughed at the absurdity of it. Putting a baby on top of the dryer? Really? That had to be the most insane idea she'd ever heard of. And yet...
Picking up the baby carrier, she placed it on the dryer, turning to retrieve her daughter, and as she lifted the crying baby into her arms, she smiled weakly.
"Zelda...Mommy's going to try something new, okay? We're gonna sit you on top of the dryer and see if that works. And then when it doesn't, we can call Daddy and tell him how stupid he is. Sound good?"
Zelda continued to cry, and Beth carefully placed her into the carrier, turning on the machine slowly. She knew the baby was perfectly safe in her carrier, and so she made her way to the couch, close enough that she could still see her, yet far enough away to distance herself. Sinking wearily onto the cushions, Beth placed her head in her hands, trying to calm her own racing thoughts.
She'd known being a young mother wouldn't be easy, but she hadn't been prepared for just how hard it was truly going to be. Her phone chirped again, and she picked it up, smiling at the text.
By the way, Gibbs and Director Shepard got married. Saw the ring on his hand.
It wasn't until she was typing out her answer that Beth realised Zelda has stopped crying, and she stood quickly, worried that something was wrong. A glance proved that the baby was sleeping, to her immense relief, and she laughed quietly. Pulling up her contacts, Beth called Jenny, waiting patiently for the older woman to answer, and when the redhead's voice filled her ear, she smiled.
"Shepard."
"Jenny, your husband is a genius."
Jenny laughed, and Beth returned to her previous position on the couch.
"I know, but don't let him know I said that. Why? What did he do?"
"Told me how to get Zelda to stop crying. Even for a few minutes. I was about to lose my mind."
"That's great. Speaking of Zelda, do you mind if Jethro and I stop by after work? I'd like to see her, in a sense."
"Of course, Jenny. You're always welcome to see her. How else are you going to get to know her?"
Jenny laughed again, the thought of holding her goddaughter making her smile, and as she answered the younger girl, she ran her hand through her hair.
"Thanks. I'll let you know when we leave work."
Beth hung up, looking at her sleeping daughter with a tired smile, and as she walked over to run her fingers over the baby's cheek, a feeling of true relief swept over her.
"You hear that, Zelda? Aunt Jenny and Uncle Jethro are coming over. What do you say we give you a bath and put you in your pretty new outfit that Aunt Sarah bought you?"
Blissfully, there was no answer.
Ducky frowned when Jenny walked down into autopsy, her steps quicker than he would have expected, and when he said her name, she frowned.
"Take a step to your right. There's a table in front of you," he explained, "What can I do for you, my dear?"
Her eyes searched for him blindly, and when he reached out to take her hand, she jumped.
"Ducky, please...is there anything that can be done to reverse this? Anything at all?"
He shook his head, leading her to the chair by his desk, and as he lowered her into it, he frowned at her tone.
"I'm afraid not," he answered sadly, "This is a permanent loss. But what's happened? Why are you so desperate to change this?"
"SecNav asked for my resignation. He gave me a month to prove I can still do the job, but...if he's not happy with my performance...I can't lose my job, Ducky. Not like this. I didn't make it through all of that bullshit in California to have everything taken from me now."
"Quite right. And you won't lose it. You're going to do the job, just as you have been, and you're going to show SecNav that you're stronger than anyone else in this building. You're not a quitter, and you've got people who are willing to help you along the way."
Without warning, Jenny threw her arms around him, kissing his cheek, and as the Scottish doctor ran his hand over her hair, she gave him a smile.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"Anytime, my dear."
Jenny could hardly contain her excitement as she held Zelda in her arms, gently running her hand over the smooth fine hair on the top of her head. It was killing her not to be able to see the baby, but she knew that it didn't matter. She leaned down to place a feather-light kiss to her forehead, smiling when she felt tiny fingers close around her own. Even without looking, Jenny knew that Gibbs was watching her, waiting to see how she would react, and when she passed the baby to him, he kissed her cheek.
"You okay?"
She nodded, and when Beth said her name, she turned, her eyes still searching though they couldn't see.
"Would you like a drink? Water? Tea? Anything?"
Jenny shook her head, smiling softly.
"No, thank you. So, other than crying, how is life with our little McNugget?"
Beth laughed, taking a drink of her tea and reaching out to take her daughter back.
"She's been great. Thank you so much for your suggestion, Jethro. It was a life-saver."
Gibbs nodded, his eyes still lingering on Jenny, and he moved closer to her on the couch, reaching for her hand. Zelda began to cry, and when the redhead asked to hold her again, Beth handed her over quickly, desperate to see how Jenny would fare. If she could calm the baby, maybe she could teach her how. Jenny held her carefully in her arms, shushing her quietly, and when she spoke to her in a low whisper, Gibbs smiled.
"Listen, McNugget, you're making a lot of noise, and your Mommy really needs some time to breathe. So why don't you just close those pretty eyes of yours and get some sleep? You're going to have a big day tomorrow, looking around and learning all sorts of new things."
The crying grew quieter, and when Jenny kissed her hair, the baby snuggled closer in her arms, closing her eyes.
"Shh...you're okay, Z. Just sleep now."
Gibbs' smile only grew as Zelda began to fall asleep, and when Jenny handed her to him, he placed her in her bed carefully, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
"Jenny, how...how did you do that?" Beth asked.
The redhead smiled, shaking her head.
"Babies can tell when you're upset. If you're nervous, or panicked, they're going to pick up on it. Just stay calm and talk to her. It won't always work, but most of the time, it will."
Gibbs wrapped his arm around her shoulder when he returned to the couch, and Beth stared at them, feeling more than a little overwhelmed.
"This...this isn't right. You both know so much more than Tim or I do, you're better prepared to take care of a baby, you know what to do when she cries...you should be the ones with a baby, not us."
Jenny frowned, her eyes puzzled.
"Beth, just because I was able to calm her down once doesn't mean anything. Anyone can do that. She's your daughter, and even though it's hard right now, it will definitely get easier. And I don't know the first thing about taking care of a child full-time. Not even Jethro knows that. Trust me, you're going to be fine. It won't always be easy, but it's worth every minute of it. And we did have our baby. For that one precious hour, we got to be with Matthew, got to touch him, see his perfect little face...and wasn't enough. No amount of time would have ever been enough. But remember that. Cherish each moment you have with Zelda. Because she's so perfect, so precious, and she's the most important thing you will ever create in the universe."
Beth nodded, still trying to make sense of all Jenny had said, and when Gibbs pulled the redhead to her feet, she immediately hugged her, her grip tight.
"Thank you, Jenny. For everything."
"Just take care of yourself and that little McNugget over there."
Beth laughed.
"I will."
They had just reached the door when Jenny stopped, her voice making Beth turn.
"Oh, and one more thing. Take a picture of Zelda when she wakes up and send it to me."
"Why?" Beth asked, hoping her question didn't sound as rude as she thought.
"Because I want to show Heather," Jenny answered with a smile, "Just because I can't see her, that doesn't mean that I can't show the rest of the world how beautiful my goddaughter is."
When Jenny entered her house, she was immediately hit with the distinct feeling that she wasn't alone. She made her way carefully to the kitchen, smiling when she heard Heather call her name.
"Hey, Jenny. How was work?"
"Don't ask," came the short reply, "How was your meeting? You did have one today, right?"
Heather nodded, wondering if Jenny had any idea of the woman sitting next to her.
"Yeah, I did. It went fine. Where's Jethro?"
"Had a case," Jenny said dismissively, "Aren't you going to introduce your friend?"
Damn, she was perceptive.
"Sure. Just wanted to find out how you were first. Jenny, this is Miranda. Miranda, my sister Jenny."
"Nice to meet you."
Jenny nodded, turning her head in the direction of Miranda's voice.
"Same to you. Are you a friend from one of Heather's meetings?"
"Yeah. We usually go out for coffee afterward, but with the weather being so stormy, we decided to come back here. I hope you don't mind."
"Not at all. Heather, I'm going to take a shower, would you do me a favour since you're closer?"
"Sure, anything."
"Can you make some tea? I'll finish it once I've come back down."
Heather smiled, nodding as Jenny made her way back to the hallway.
"Yeah. Be careful. Yell if you need anything."
The elder sister had just reached the living room when Miranda's whispered words came to her, quietly confused.
"If she's blind, how did she know I was here?"
Jenny laughed, shaking her head.
"I could smell your perfume," she called, "Heather doesn't wear any."
"Jenny, stop being a creeper and go take a shower."
The only answer was a quiet laugh as Jenny made her way up the stairs. Heather turned to Miranda once they were alone, and gave her a warm smile, her eyes unconsciously drifting to the other woman's mouth. There was no denying that she was attracted to the younger woman, and as she moved to make Jenny's tea, she shook her head.
"I'm sorry about that. I didn't know Jenny would be home so soon."
Miranda waved her words away with a smile, running her hand through her long hair.
"It's okay. She seems really nice. How long ago did she lose her vision?"
"About a month ago. It had been fading for longer than that, but it wasn't until then that she lost it completely. She didn't take it well."
"I imagine not. I couldn't even begin to think about how terrifying that would be. Does she have someone that can help her when you're not here?"
Heather nodded.
"Her husband, Jethro. Most of the time, she stays at his house, but when he has a case, she comes back here. It is her house, after all. She also has a puppy that is being trained to be a service dog. Cutest little guy ever. He's still not quite there, though, so he stays home when she's here. Don't want either of them getting hurt."
Miranda nodded.
"You look a lot like her. You could be twins almost."
"Nah," Heather shook her head, placing the tea kettle on the stove, "Jenny's got this incredible sense of style. I literally live in yoga pants and leggings. I look like a homeless bag lady."
Miranda was silent for a long moment, standing from her place at the table, and when she stopped in front of Heather, she shook her head. Her dark green eyes looked her up and down, and when she took a step closer, Heather's back connected with the counter.
"I think you look fine. Pretty damn good, as a matter of fact."
Neither one of them knew who moved first, but as their lips met in a heated kiss, Heather tangled her hands in the other woman's strawberry-blonde hair. Miranda's lips parted, her tongue finding its way into Heather's mouth, and as her hands slipped under her shirt, the tea kettle left sitting on the burner was long forgotten.
The tears that fell from Jenny Shepard's green eyes as she sat on the floor of her bathroom made her even more angry that she already was, and she tangled her hands furiously in her damp hair. She'd known, even as she'd tried to convince herself otherwise, that Beth's words from the night before were going to cut like a knife, and though she tried to ignore the stabbing pain it sent through her heart, it was no use. As much as she tried to deny it, she still felt cheated, still felt as though she'd been robbed of the chance to raise her own child, and she knew nothing anyone said would ever ease that pain.
She'd managed to hold it together during her shower, but as soon as she'd stepped out, the guilt and anger had slammed into her like a train, causing her to collapse on the floor. More than anything, she wanted Gibbs, needed to hear his voice, and when she remembered her phone in her bedroom, she pulled herself up, using the walls to guide her. A quick search of her dresser turned up nothing, and she could feel her emotions threatening to consume her if she didn't find it soon.
"Heather!"
There was no answer, and Jenny took a deep breath, a quiet sob falling from her lips.
"Heather!"
Footsteps came running towards her, followed by a second set (undoubtedly Miranda's), and when Heather found her sister frantically searching the bedside table, she frowned.
"Jenny, what is it? Are you okay?"
"I can't...I can't find my phone. Do you see it anywhere?"
Heather shook her head, looking around the now-dismantled room, and she got down on her knees to search under the bed. Miranda stepped into the room, unsure if she should intrude, but when she noticed a tiny blinking light shining under one of the pillows on the bed, she moved closer. Reaching out, she picked it up, guessing that this was the phone in question, and she slowly approached Jenny, tapping her on the shoulder.
"Is this it, Jenny?"
Fumbling for the device, Jenny nodded, smiling gratefully at the younger woman.
"Thank you."
Heather gave her a smile, mouthing the words "thank you", and Miranda nodded, returning her smile easily.
"Who are you trying to call? I can find the number for you."
"Jethro," Jenny answered quietly, "I need to talk to Jethro."
Heather moved closer, sitting next to Jenny on the bed, and when she wrapped her arm around her shoulder, she frowned at the tears in her eyes.
"Is there any way I can help?"
"No. You...you wouldn't understand. It's...it's about Matthew."
"I can try. Give me a chance, Jenny. Please?"
Finally, Jenny nodded, and Heather pulled her closer, wiping away her tears.
"Does this have anything to do with Z?"
"I just...Heather, I know I should be happy for Beth and McGee, and I am...and don't get me wrong, I love that little McNugget, but...it isn't fair. I should be holding Matthew, rocking him to sleep, helping him learn to crawl, to walk...reading him bedtime stories, and getting frustrated when he doesn't listen to me. I'm never going to have that. Never going to watch him learn to read, never see him play baseball with Jethro, or hold him when he has a nightmare."
Jenny's head fell onto Heather's shoulder, and the younger woman exchanged a sad glance with Miranda, standing quietly to the side, ready to offer help if needed.
"Jenny...I can't even imagine how hard it was losing Matthew, and I'm so, so sorry you had to go through that. But, listen...you can do all of those things with Z. She might just be your goddaughter, but I know for a fact that Beth and Tim would let you watch her anytime you want. They love you, otherwise why else would they have asked you and Jethro to be her godparents?"
Jenny sighed, wiping her hand under her eyes furiously.
"How can I watch her? I can't even see her. I don't even know what my own goddaughter looks like!"
Heather reached out to take Jenny's phone from her hand, opening the text from Beth slowly, and smiled.
"Would you like me to tell you? Beth sent you a picture."
"Please."
The younger Shepard didn't think she'd ever heard her sister sound so lost, and she nodded, looking at the picture intently.
"She's absolutely beautiful. She has the biggest blue eyes, and if they stay that way, she's gonna break her fair share of hearts when she starts dating, she's got hair that's as fine as silk, and the colour of spun gold. Her skin is perfect porcelain...honestly, she looks like a female Tim. She's got Beth's mouth, but she looks more like her father. She's gorgeous. And let me tell you something, just because you can't see doesn't mean you can't watch her."
Jenny frowned, and Heather continued, kissing her cheek.
"Jenny, don't you remember Lucas? You kicked his ass, saved me from who knows what he was going to do, and you continue to be amazing at everything you try."
Sighing, Jenny shook her head, and her sister took her hand, running her thumb over her skin slowly.
"Face it, honey...you're awesome."
She was silent for a long moment, and when she hugged Heather tightly, the younger woman couldn't keep her shock from her face. It wasn't often that Jenny initiated physical contact, and she ran her hand over the damp locks of hair.
"Thanks, Heather. I owe you."
She pulled back, turning in what she hoped was the proper direction.
"I'm sorry, Miranda. Hell of a first impression to make."
Miranda shook her head, smiling softly.
"It's okay. And how did you know I was still here?"
Nudging Heather gently, Jenny smiled, nodding at the other woman once.
"Perfume," the sisters said simultaneously.
Hours after Miranda had gone home, Jenny set out methodically about getting drunk, calculating just how much she could safely drink without overdoing it, and when Heather ventured into her room, she frowned.
"Jenny?"
The redhead raised her eyebrow, and her sister made her way slowly into the space, looking at her seriously.
"I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
Jenny nodded.
"Fine. How was the rest of your date with Miranda?"
"Date? What are you—we're just friends, I—"
"Oh, please. Her perfume was all over you. I'm blind, not stupid. She seems like a nice girl."
Heather nodded, sitting down on the edge of the bed. The drink in Jenny's hand was tempting beyond belief, but she forced herself to focus, taking a deep breath.
"Tell me about her," Jenny said, patting the place next to her with a smile.
"Really? Oh, um...well, she's thirty-two, just like me, she's a recovering alcoholic, recently moved to the area. She's got strawberry-blonde hair, dark green eyes, she's super pale, even more than you...she's tall, about five-seven, loves wearing heels and designer suits. In some ways, she reminds me of you. She's strong, resilient, and doesn't open up to people much. It took me three weeks to find out her name. She comes across as really cold, but once you get to know her, she's so amazing."
Jenny nodded, smiling as Heather settled in next to her, and as Jenny took another sip of her drink, she laid her head on her shoulder.
"You sure you're okay, honey?"
"Yeah. But I do have a favour to ask of you. Could you drive me to my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow? It's just with Jethro being so busy, I—"
"Of course. I'd be happy to. Speaking of which, should you be drinking with your medication? Didn't your doctor say it would counteract the effects?"
Jenny waved her concern away, shaking her head with a laugh.
"Relax, Heather. I'll be fine."
Though she didn't believe her in the least, Heather nodded, trying to pretend that her every thought wasn't screaming at her to grab the glass from her sister's hand and drink it, sobriety be damned.
If Dr. Lentz was surprised to see two nearly-identical redheads in his waiting room, he gave no indication, and as Jenny walked into his office, he waved at the younger woman.
"I take it that's your sister?"
Jenny nodded.
"Heather. She was nice enough to drive me. Jethro's working."
His highly trained eyes noticed the gleaming silver ring on her hand at once and smiled, making a note in his file.
"Congratulations, by the way. Was it a nice ceremony?"
Jenny shook her head.
"We went down to the courthouse. Maybe a few years from now, we'll have an actual ceremony, but I didn't want to wait. Also didn't want the pressure of trying to plan everything out."
"Of course. Are there any other changes I should know of?"
Nodding, Jenny couldn't stop the smile that came across her face, and Dr. Lentz smiled as well, happy to see her in a better mood.
"My...one of Jethro's team members had a baby. Zelda. He and his girlfriend asked us to be her godparents. I've been spending as much time with her as I can. She's absolutely perfect. And my sister has a new girlfriend, her name is Miranda, and she seems like a nice woman. I mean, I only met her once, but she doesn't set off any red flags. No warning bells."
"That's great. And how do you feel about that? Your sister coming out to you must have been quite a shock."
Jenny laughed, shaking her head.
"Not really. The way she would obsess over certain artists, movie stars...it wasn't hard to put the pieces together. It doesn't change anything. She's still the same Heather she's always been. Nothing is different except that she doesn't have to hide it anymore."
Dr. Lentz smiled, nodding slowly, wary of his next question.
"And Zelda? Being around her must be difficult."
"Sometimes," Jenny admitted, feeling ashamed of herself, "There are times when I hold her, feel her little fingers wrap around mine, and it just...reminds me of what I lost. What Jethro and I both lost, and it hurts so much that I can't stand it."
"Understandable, to be sure. And in addition to those thoughts, how have you been dealing with your depressive episodes when they occur?"
Jenny shrugged.
"No differently than usual. I thought the medication was supposed to help with that, but...it doesn't seem to make any difference now. There are days when I just want to jump in front of a car, or run a knife across my wrists, or...well, you get the idea. And I can see it, in my mind, I can picture it just like I was watching a movie."
Dr. Lentz leaned closer, looking at her seriously and frowned.
"I'm going to prescribe something in addition to the Wellbutrin you're taking, okay Jenny? It's called Latuda, and I've had a lot of success with bipolar patients in the past using this. It's another mood stabilizer, but the dosages are slightly different than those you've taken in the past. Have Heather or Jethro read them for you and make sure you follow them exactly. It won't work otherwise."
Jenny nodded, but there was a sadness in her eyes that made him feel slightly concerned, and he put his pen down slowly.
"What is it, Jenny? What's wrong?"
She sighed.
"I just...will this ever be over? Will I ever reach a point where I can be normal? It's so exhausting, the constant ups and downs, pretending to be okay when I'm clearly not, panicking over the most ridiculous things...I'm just so tired of it all."
He nodded, his expression sad as he looked into her bright green eyes.
"I know, Jenny," he answered gently, "Believe me, I understand. I know it's overwhelming and you don't always want to fight. Sometimes you want to give up and just let the pieces fall where they may. Am I right?"
Jenny nodded silently, placing her head in her hand as she waited for him to continue.
"It does get easier. Eventually, you'll be able to recognise that the reactions you're experiencing are a result of your illness, and you'll be able to control them better. It won't be easy, and it won't happen overnight, but you're doing the right thing by being here. By continuing to come to these sessions, by confiding in your husband, spending quality time with your goddaughter, your sister, your friends...all of these are positive steps. They may seem small, but sometimes it's the smallest actions that mean the most."
Gibbs smiled at Aries as he followed each instruction perfectly, grabbing his leash and walking to the door. He allowed the puppy to jump up into the cab of his truck, and as he drove carefully to Jenny's house, he glanced at him every so often. For all of his claims to the contrary, Gibbs really did love the little dog, and he couldn't deny that his presence had helped Jenny when nothing else had. It made him smile each time he remembered the look in her eyes when he'd first placed Aries in her lap, and he would have done anything in the world to see it again.
They arrived just before the sun set completely, and when he opened the door to find pieces of shattered glass covering the floor, he frowned. Picking up Aries so that he didn't get cut, Gibbs called Jenny's name as he walked through the house, feeling more than a little worried. It wasn't Jenny who answered him, however, and when he looked at the younger woman, he met her eyes seriously.
"Heather, what's going on?"
"Thank God you're here," she said breathlessly, ignoring his question, "Jenny's really upset. I don't know what to do."
"What happened?"
"I don't know exactly. She got a phone call, and she's been screaming and breaking things ever since. Miranda and I tried to calm her down, but she's—"
A loud shattering cut off her words, and when Gibbs entered the kitchen, his eyes widened. Broken glass and ceramic littered the ground, and the former marine handed the puppy in his arms to Heather, nodding in the direction of the door.
"Take Aries and go. I've got this."
He didn't even notice the other woman standing in the corner, and when he stepped in front of Jenny, he grabbed her wrists gently.
"Jen. Jen, calm down. What's going on?"
Her head shook, eyes closed, and he tightened his hold on her as she tried to pull away.
"Talk to me. Tell me what happened."
"It's Carrington, Jethro," she whispered, tears falling from her eyes, "They're holding a trial, he's filed for an appeal, and...I have to testify. So does Beth. If we lose, if he gets off on some kind of a technicality, he'll come after us again, he'll—"
"He'll die trying," Gibbs told her, "I'm not letting him get anywhere near you. Or Beth. Or Zelda, for that matter. Just breathe, okay? Come on, let's get you out of here before you cut yourself on something."
He led her into the living room, Heather still holding Aries in her arms, and when they sat down on the couch, her sister looked at her worriedly.
"Jenny, who's Carrington?"
At the very mention of his name, Jenny flinched, and Gibbs reached for her hand.
"Do you remember awhile back, all of those women who were abducted from military bases and killed?"
At her answering nod, Gibbs continued.
"He attacked Jen. More than once, and damn near killed her. After he came for both her and Beth, we were able to catch him and lock him up. He's filed for an appeal, and the courts have asked them to testify. I'm guessing me and the rest of my team will be included in that as well."
He looked at Jenny, brushing her long hair back from her face, and ran his thumb over her cheek softly.
"Don't worry, Jen. We'll get through this, just like we've gotten through everything else."
She shook her head.
"We've gotten through everything else?" she repeated, "The word "through", implying an emergence on the other side, might be a tad premature, Jethro."
Miranda laughed quietly, and for the first time, Gibbs noticed the younger woman standing next to Heather and frowned.
"You are?"
"Miranda," she answered, "I'm Heather's girlfriend."
He looked her over once before extending his hand, nodding at her once.
"Jethro. Jenny's husband."
Turning back to Jenny, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and kissed her temple.
"You won't even have to see him, even if you could. They'll ask for your statement, we can probably arrange to record yours and send it to the court, given the circumstances, and then they'll make their decision. But no jury in the world would let him walk. So just breathe, and try not to worry, okay?"
She nodded, laying her head on his shoulder and raised her eyes in the direction she'd heard Miranda speak.
"I'm sorry, Miranda. Every time you see me, I'm panicking about something."
"Hey, considering what happened to you, I'd say you took the news pretty well. I probably would have drank myself into oblivion and done a whole lot worse."
Jenny smiled, moving as close to Gibbs as she could, and he laid his other hand on her leg, running it up and down her thigh slowly.
"We've got this, Jen. I promise."
Though it was utterly useless, Gibbs had insisted that Jenny be blindfolded as she walked into her house, frowning as the door closed behind her. She turned to face him slightly as he led her in the direction of her kitchen, and shook her head as he continued to walk.
"Jethro, what is the point of this? You know I can't see regardless."
"It's part of the fun. Humour me."
Sighing, she nodded, and when he stopped her from taking another step, the lights flipped on, and he pulled the blindfold from her eyes, tossing it behind him. Her eyes opened, detecting only the change in light, but she could hear the collective sound of a breath being taken, and she instinctively braced herself.
"Surprise!"
Several sets of arms hugged her all at once, and she couldn't help smiling as Gibbs guided her to the table. She could feel the warmth of the candles on her face, and as she sat down in the chair, she shook her head slowly.
"This...is for me?"
"Of course, Director! Happy birthday!" Abby said excitedly, hugging her again.
"You know, I believe it is an American custom to make a wish as you blow out the candles on your cake," Ziva added.
Jenny nodded, closing her eyes and making a wish though she knew it was foolish, and as she blew out the candles, the sound of applause made her smile again. When a small package was handed to her, she ripped off the paper, opening the box slowly, and she frowned as she attempted to guess what it was.
"Is it...a knife?"
"Yes. Since yours was taken from you a few months ago, I thought it fitting to replace it. And I think Gibbs would approve, given that it adheres to rule nine," Ziva said, hugging her gently.
"Thank you, Ziva."
"Please do not kill Gibbs with it though. I don't think we could handle Tony being in charge."
Jenny laughed at Tony's indignant protest, and as she was handed gift after gift, she found that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stop herself from smiling.
"Hey, Red, happy birthday! Thought you might like a nice bottle of bourbon to share with Gibbs. Or not, if he pisses you off."
Laughing as Burley hugged her, Jenny carefully placed the bottle on the table, and when she raised her eyes, she frowned.
"Did Beth bring the baby?"
"Of course we did," McGee answered, "We weren't about to let Zelda miss her godmother's birthday."
The baby was handed to her, and Jenny automatically kissed her hair, breathing in the scent of peppermint.
"McNugget, did you have a bath before you came to my party? You smell like a candy cane. And you know what we do to candy canes, right? We eat them all up!"
She placed kisses all over Zelda's face, her hair falling over them in a crimson curtain, and she laughed as she raised back up. Waiting a few more seconds, Jenny kissed her again, and when she was upright again, she heard Beth gasp loudly.
"Jenny...she smiled. Zelda smiled. She's never...that's her first smile!"
"McNugget, you just gave me the best birthday present ever."
Jenny felt her eyes fill with tears of happiness as she kissed Zelda's cheek again, and when Gibbs leaned down to kiss her gently on the lips, she smiled again.
"Happy birthday, Jen," he whispered, "I love you."
It was, without a doubt, the best birthday Jenny had experienced in years.
A/N: Let me know what you liked, what you hated, etc. Love you all!