Chapter 32: The Gift and the Inspiration
Monday, 21 December 1812
Rosings Park
Georgiana arrived a few hours after Mr. Bennet. While Elizabeth and Mr. Bennet were speaking privately, Darcy greeted his sister and told her of their most recent surprise visit. "He seems to arrive shortly before you do, but his arrivals are not nearly so … agreeable."
Escorting his sister to her room—this time it would be a room in his wing—Darcy left her to refresh while he went to check on Elizabeth.
Finding her in the chair by the fire, looking out the window, he joined her. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he asked if she was well. Expecting her to be melancholy, Darcy had a handkerchief out and was prepared to offer her his shoulder to cry on
"What does he mean?" she fumed. "In the entirety of my life, the man never traveled, and now this! My aunt and uncle would let me travel with them so I could see the country since Papa refused to be in a carriage for more than four hours, but now I know that was something he could have overcome if he had cared enough!"
Quickly stuffing the handkerchief in his pocket, Darcy sat in the chair next to her as he tried to determine the best way to comfort her. For the moment, simply listening seemed the best plan.
Elizabeth huffed. "If he had been more responsible, I would be at Longbourn now, remembering a lovely trip taken with my aunt and uncle over the summer, and preparing our house for Christmas and the Gardiners' visit. But no. I am here, acting as your mistress, and soon to be having a child. A child! I will be having a child. Even though every part of me is changing, even though I feel it move in me, it is still a fantastic notion to me that in a few short months this life inside me will become a child that I have to give away to you.
"So now I am treated to the civility of his mercy! When my father had not enough civility to send a note alerting us of his travel!" she chafed as she glared out the window.
"It was the very real prospect that his injury would mean losing everything I had ever known that made me agree in the first place. Now I spend all my hours with Anne. She is so decidedly queer at times." Rising from her chair, she stalked to the window, her anger now beginning to cool. Placing her forehead on the chilled glass, "He is why I am here, but I wished for him to never know. Why would he come like this?"
Darcy followed her to the window. Standing directly behind her, he placed his forehead on the window above hers as he held her. "I cannot know," he said simply.
That was when her tears began. He offered her his now crumpled handkerchief and had only his comfort to offer as her emotions vacillated between rage and regret.
~~~oo0oo~~~
Tuesday, 22 December 1812
Rosings Park
"The sun is beginning to rise, will you not be missed downstairs?" Elizabeth asked him. She was in no hurry for his departure, but he must not be missed when his valet entered his room.
Darcy yawned lazily. "I told Holder I would ring for him when I was ready, that I was likely to sleep late this morning after all the fuss yesterday." He pulled her closer, giving her a lingering kiss. "There is no induction to leave the bed. We are nice and warm here with our little furnace,"—he rubbed her belly—"the outside air is chilled."
He continued to stay with her and would do so until she made him leave. Mr. Pryce and Mrs. Wilson would be arriving at eleven to check Anne and Elizabeth, but there was little need to rise before. Georgiana would sleep until noon. Mr. Bennet would sleep until…Darcy knew not what time Mr. Bennet would awaken or what the man would do after he rose, but had no intention of entertaining him. Her father would see Elizabeth once again for an hour after the doctor left, then he would leave that afternoon to return to his home.
Last night had been fraught with emotion. Elizabeth was both angry with her father for his neglect and upset that he found her disgrace. She had been angry at herself for agreeing, then distraught because what other choice did she have?
At first, Darcy attempted to use logic to assure her the choice she made was the best overall, to prove to her that she really had no other feasible alternative. When Elizabeth quickly began to direct her considerable anger at him, he rapidly construed that listening would be his best course, no longer attempting any other form of assistance.
A reticent man, Darcy never felt the need to speak when it was uncalled for. Yet hearing Elizabeth's emotional outpouring and being unable to offer any solutions to help her was an exercise in frustration.
He had no desire to leave their bed. It was safe here in their own world where none challenged their being together. They lay entwined a while longer, hearing only the heartbeat of the mantle clock. (1)
Elizabeth turned toward him, looking up earnestly into his face. Placing her hand gently on his cheek, she leaned in, kissing him. "Thank you for listening to me last night. I was overwhelmed."
Not wishing to inadvertently incur her wrath, Darcy simply replied, "Much has happened."
Elizabeth gave a sarcastic huff. "Yes, it has." Then sighing in resignation, she informed Darcy that as much as she would like to remain, she could no longer stay in the bed.
Both reluctantly rose to prepare themselves for the morning. Before leaving her chambers that morning, Darcy embraced her and gave her his assurance all would be well. He could only hope it would.
~~~oo0oo~~~
Mr. Bennet insisted on joining Mr. Pryce and Mrs. Wilson on their visit. He wished to hear their opinion on his daughter's health and prospects. When he followed Mrs. Wilson into Elizabeth's dressing room, he was visibly shaken to see Darcy already in the room, standing beside his daughter, awaiting Mrs. Wilson's visit.
"Papa!" Elizabeth cried. "What are you doing here?"
Mr. Bennet refused to look at or acknowledge Darcy. Looking only at Elizabeth with his lips drawn tight, he informed her, "I need to know my child is well. After so many other deceptions coming from this house, I will only hear of your health from the midwife herself."
Mrs. Wilson stepped in after Mr. Bennet. "Well, let's get started. Come along," she instructed as she helped Elizabeth up and pointed her toward the room. Darcy began to follow the ladies into the room.
"What are you doing, sir?" Mr. Bennet challenged him as Darcy stepped after Mrs. Wilson.
Looking at the older man with a sneering condescension, Darcy answered, "Attending the exam."
"You have no reason to attend the exam. It is in no way proper. Elizabeth told me of your abnormal interest in her development," Mr. Bennet declared with disgust. "I suspect you must check the particulars on all your investments, but she is not your chattel. There is no reason for you to be in her bedchamber."
At that point, Mrs. Wilson closed the door behind her, locking the gentlemen out, Darcy's ire raised. A night of hearing Elizabeth's anguish along with being barred from attending her exam, all because of this irritating man, caused Darcy to be less cautious in his speech. Looking imperiously at the smaller man Darcy retorted, "How do you think she came to need Mrs. Wilson?"
Darcy watched with a sadistic satisfaction as Mr. Bennet's face turned a shade of bright red and the articulate man was reduced to sputters.
Observing Mr. Bennet's well-deserved disquietude, Darcy congratulated himself on freeing Elizabeth from the man. She would never need to return to his inept imitation of care. Once Anne died and they married, Darcy would allow Elizabeth to retain possession of Longbourn. It would be a convenient place to stow the disagreeable man and his squawking wife to assure they stayed away from his own estates.
His satisfaction rapidly turned to disgust. He still held Mr. Bennet in contempt, any other opinion was unthinkable considering his neglect of those in his care, but Darcy now also took himself to task. Had he not promised Elizabeth he would treat her father with respect? Bracing himself for the degradation, Darcy apologized. "Excuse me, Mr. Bennet. My words were uncalled for."
Finding his voice, Mr. Bennet snarled at him, "I wish a daughter for you, sir. That your words may one day come back to haunt you." Mr. Bennet had no more to say. As the retort that came to Darcy's mind would likely anger Elizabeth, Darcy held his tongue. The two men sat uncomfortably in Elizabeth's dressing room, waiting for Mrs. Wilson to return.
After ten minutes of waiting, Darcy noticed Mr. Bennet began to canvass Elizabeth's chamber. Noticing the man's eyes stop, Darcy glanced to see what he looked at. It was a cravat. Darcy's cravat was draped across the dresser.
Realizing this room likely contained many betrayals of their continued intimacy, Darcy felt that for Elizabeth's sake some conversation was urgently needed to distract him. "Sir," Darcy began, drawing the man's attention toward himself. "I must ask, why come to Rosings now? The weather is poor, and Christmas is but a few days away. An odd time to leave your family for such a trip."
Looking dubiously at the man across the room from him, Mr. Bennet warily recounted his concerns. "When I left, I was not pleased with your treatment of Lizzy but comforted myself that you would soon be gone. When Jane mentioned your presence in London in one of her letters, I felt secure that Lizzy was safe. However, Jane's last letter mentioned her concern about your wife's declining health, that there was some problem your wife experienced, but Lizzy never mentioned any of it in her letters. Jane spoke of her admiration when you made a hasty removal from town to attend your family. Again, Lizzy's letters contained no hint of what may have happened. After Jane's letter, I reconsidered your actions toward my daughter. There were some I had paid little attention to, thinking you indifferent, but on closer inspection caused me great concern.
"When you left Longbourn with my Lizzy, I made no note of your hand behind her, but I realize now your hand was not merely behind her but on her. That realization led to a different understanding of your behaviors. You were not treating Lizzy as a servant but as a possession. My alarm grew until I could no longer remain ignorant. I felt something amiss, but I could never have dreamed you would so misuse my daughter," he hissed. "You, who presented himself to our society as an unyieldingly proper gentleman. Your friend Wickham did much the same, but we were more quickly able to learn about his proclivities. A few of our local tradesmen took care of him, I believe. Maybe the same will happen to you," he said flatly.
"I do not have the privilege of understanding you," Darcy said cautiously, wondering what happened. He had received no news of Wickham's death.
Mr. Bennet snickered wickedly. "I believe no young women ever need to fear his advances again, for when they see what he's missing they could do naught but laugh," he shared mysteriously, refusing to further elaborate.
Regaining his stern countenance, Mr. Bennet continued. "Mr. Darcy. I understand you are rewarding my daughter"—here Mr. Bennet's voice turned to disgust—"by allowing her to keep Longbourn."
Darcy maintained his well-studied mask of cold indifference.
"I also know you do not appreciate my Lizzy, but you should be aware that she is a much-beloved member of our vulgar society that you so detest."—Here Mr. Bennet dropped the disgust from his voice, sighing his acceptance of the situation, but still wishing to protect his daughter—"These next months will be a difficult time for her, more than either you or she can imagine. As much as you dislike our family, she is ruining her future happiness for you, as well as for her family. Treat her with kindness while she is here," Mr. Bennet choked.
Darcy took a few minutes to compose himself to respond. That Elizabeth's father hated him was to be expected. Even with his own role in his daughter's decision, he blamed Darcy for her current situation.
"I have never been unkind to your daughter."
Mr. Bennet exploded. "There is a difference between treating someone with kindness and never being unkind. Show some heart, man," he spat at Darcy. "She has not only a family, but a town full of those who love her, now she is alone at a time when she should have help from those loved ones. She will have to watch your wife die. At the same time she will have a child she will be forced to give away. Then she must present herself to our local society as though none of it ever happened. I want my lively daughter back, not someone who has been utterly destroyed by helping you. It will be difficult, but she can do it, she just needs some kindness shown to her."
Seeing her father's genuine concern softened Darcy toward the man. Quietly, he responded. "Miss Bennet is very much loved by all here. Anne would not be alive today if not for Miss Elizabeth's friendship and good nature. She has, remarkably, wrapped Lady Catherine around her finger. (2) I would never have before believed such a thing possible. My sister is very much attached to her as well. You see sir, she is neither neglected nor unloved here. When she has the child, she may not have her mother, but she will be aided by those who deeply care for her."
Mr. Bennet noticed Darcy did not include himself in the list of Lizzy's admirers. "May I send her aunt from Gracechurch Street in London? She is a sensible, trustworthy woman that Lizzy dearly loves and trusts. Mrs. Gardiner has asked to visit Lizzy in Kent many times these past months, but Lizzy has refused due to being a visitor herself, and more recently Mrs. Darcy's potential to catch illnesses." Mr. Bennet paused, looking at Darcy as though challenging him to prove his assertion. "Allow her aunt to help with the birth."
Taking a moment to reflect, Darcy averred, "I cannot. Too many people know already, but all of those who know have good reason to guard the secret." He decided, for Elizabeth's sake, to be encouraging to Mr. Bennet. "You may rest assured that she will be well cared for. When her time comes, you have my vow that she will be helped by those who love her."
Mr. Bennet stared at him with a hard eye as Mrs. Wilson and Elizabeth opened the door to join them in the room. "May God have mercy on your soul," he hissed as he moved to stand beside Elizabeth. Mr. Bennet then turned his attentions solely to the midwife to learn of his daughter's condition and safety.
Darcy felt anger combined with a bit of sorrow for the man, but he would no longer allow himself to be goaded into incivility, particularly in the presence of Elizabeth. She needed no additional distress.
"Ah, so," Mrs. Wilson began. "It looks to be growing faster than I would expect. I can feel the young pup doing gymnastics, so it looks to be a healthy one with much activity."
At this, Mr. Bennet leaned toward Elizabeth, whispering, "I would expect nothing less from your child."
Mrs. Wilson paid the man no heed, continuing. "The size is my only concern. It could cause difficulties. Her body is of the type that usually does well, but if the baby is too large, none can predict the outcome. Just continue with your activities to ease the birth. If there is more concern in a month, we will try to encourage the labor to start earlier, though it does not always work."
Mr. Bennet frowned. "What do you mean? How would something like that be done?"
In her usual frank way, with no consideration for any sensitivities the gentleman may hold, Mrs. Wilson explained to him of continued amorous congress to ease the birthing and nipple stimulation to encourage contractions to begin. She also waxed long on various birthing expectations until Mr. Bennet felt quite nauseous when she finally bid her adieu, leaving the room behind her in silence.
As Mr. Bennet absorbed the shocking information imparted by Mrs. Wilson, he now began to address the very real danger his daughter now faced. Leaning toward her, he spoke of his concern and his hopes for her safety. "If she has a way to deliver early, you must follow her advice. I remember your mother struggling when the time came, there was much yelling on her part. I would counsel you to do everything she advises to make the birthing easier." At which point he remembered the midwife's instruction on that aspect and grew pale.
Darcy, looking at Elizabeth thus not seeing her father's expression, gave her a small smile of encouragement. "I assure you, sir, we are taking every precaution in that arena."
As Mr. Bennet began to quake with anger, Elizabeth, with a better understanding of the meanings of both gentlemen, embarrassedly stepped between them. "Mr. Darcy! How could you imply such a thing to my father?" she hissed under her breath before turning to Mr. Bennet. "Papa, he only means we are following all of the advice Mrs. Wilson gives to ensure a safe birth," she consoled him as she rubbed her belly.
Now understanding the way Mr. Bennet interpreted his meaning, Darcy was not as ashamed as he should have been, but did excuse himself to give Elizabeth some time alone with her father before his departure.
~~~oo0oo~~~
Elizabeth was only slightly relieved to be left in privacy with her father. There was such tension between the gentlemen, she felt certain a confrontation would happen at any moment. Now that strain was removed, she still had to face her father's newfound knowledge.
"Lizzy, dear. I will bring you home now if you will come with me. We will make arrangements to secure you. You need not continue being subjected to him."
"Papa…" Elizabeth was not sure how to politely tell her father the attentions were not unwelcome. Deciding to concentrate on Mrs. Wilson and her excellent care, Elizabeth finally continued. "Papa, it is not so awful here. I have the best of care with Mrs. Wilson and Mr. Pryce. All my needs are attended to."
"As soon as the child is born, Lizzy, write to me. I will come get you. It is best for you to not stay. Every day with the child will make it that much more difficult for you to part from it." Mr. Bennet urged his daughter, "Once they have what they want, come home. We will care for you during your recovery. Remaining will impose further afflictions upon you. They can easily hire someone for the feedings."
Too fatigued to further debate her father, Elizabeth simply nodded her understanding of his offer, though Mr. Bennet took it as acceptance.
"It pains me that Mr. Darcy continues to invite himself into your chambers," Mr. Bennet winced. "You say he does you no harm and I will accept it, but if you ever wish me to come retrieve you, write to me of your newly found desire to be more like your mother. If I see any such reference in a letter, I will know you are distressed and will leave right away to bring you home," he promised.
Elizabeth again nodded, but would never call for her father to rescue her. She could not elaborate on her promise to feed the child, no matter how much it might increase her own difficulties. She could not tell her father of Anne's latest wish to have her act as the child's foster. She would never admit to her feelings for Mr. Darcy, as her father would only tease her for her stupidity in allowing such a thing to happen.
The two moved to less pressing topics in their remaining time together, both trying to re-establish their old banter.
When it was time for Mr. Bennet to leave, Anne entered, now wearing her pouch and planning on escorting him to the door of the wing. "Mr. Bennet. Do you find your daughter well?"
Distracted that she now looked to be heavy with child, as well as that she would so directly address so sensitive a topic, he decided to ignore the belly and replied, "No, I do not. I find you have placed my Lizzy in an untenable position, one that may well leave her devastated."
"I have done nothing to harm her," Anne insisted. "I have given her everything she will need for her future, she will lack nothing."
"What about her child?" he retorted. "You think she will lack nothing? She will lack her child."
"No. She will not." Anne replied calmly. "I will need her to care for my child when I die. I have made provisions."
"What provisions? You said she would be finished in a year. Now you are trying to keep her here as your nursemaid after your death. When do you plan to release her from your service?"
"I love my friend," Anne asserted. "I ask her to care for my child until it is strong because I know she is the only one who will love it as I do."
"So you would have my daughter not just hand over the baby," Mr. Bennet huffed, "but now you will have her act as mother to the child before you rip it from her arms? That was not a part of your agreement. I will not allow it. I will not allow Lizzy to be used like that."
"I will do nothing to hurt Elizabeth."
Mr. Bennet scoffed in disgust.
"I will do nothing to hurt Elizabeth," Anne repeated, her face impassive. "I am ensuring her well-being, as you have not."
Again angry at being reminded again of his failure, Mr. Bennet stood. "You do not know of what you speak. Not experiencing any of this yourself, how could you?" Mr. Bennet indicated derisively at the sudden swelling of Anne's midsection before he explained, "It is more devastating than you can ever know."
"I have made provisions," Anne repeated. "Elizabeth, if she is attentive to those provisions, will live a life that lacks nothing." Anne had been drifting toward Elizabeth. Now standing next to her, she placed her hand on Elizabeth's stomach waiting to feel the child move wearing a slight smile. "Do you not wish to feel your grandchild? Darcy swears it is a girl because Elizabeth dreamed of a girl child."
Looking at her confoundedly, now with a fuller understanding of Lizzy's description of the woman as odd, Mr. Bennet refused. "That is not my grandchild. I will not attach myself to one that is to be given away."
The smile on Anne's face grew as she felt the movements inside. She looked at Mr. Bennet directly. "You may deny it, but this child from Elizabeth is your grandchild." Moving her gaze to Elizabeth, Anne nodded. "Mr. Bennet's carriage is being brought to the front. It is now time for him to depart. I did plan on walking him out of the wing, but now I think it best for you to do so." The ladies nodded at one another as Anne returned to her chambers.
"Papa," Elizabeth comforted. "I will be home in just a few months and all will be well."
Looking forlornly at his daughter, Mr. Bennet sighed, "I look forward to it." He could not refrain from embracing his daughter in this moment of separation and pain for both.
As he cradled his little girl, thinking of the times he comforted her the same way for a skinned knee or a lost dog, he felt the kick of her child against his middle. Mr. Bennet pulled back from Elizabeth in surprise. Her laugh would not be contained. "Papa, you look as if you have seen a ghost."
Now carefully placing his hands on her, he felt the child wriggle. Remembering that joyful time of hope in each of Mrs. Bennet's pregnancies, feeling the life begin while praying for it to be a son, Mr. Bennet responded with a sad smile, realizing all he had wasted during his years of indolence, "Maybe I have."
~~~oo0oo~~~
(1) We have 3 weighted analog clocks, so there is a lot of ticking in our house. It drives my OCD friends crazy, but to me, it's heartbeat of our home, one tick every second, about the same pace as resting human heart.
(2) According to the podcast History of English, the term "wrapped around a finger" came from falconry and has been a part of English since medieval times.