It turned out there was a lot that Satine could do to keep Bo in this damned palace. She pretty much always had a protector watching her. Even at night, there were protectors in the halls. It was insane. How could her sister do this? She was acting way worse than her mother ever had. It was like Bo was in prison. Even when she contacted Pre on her holocon, she was worried that one of the protectors would hear and rat her out. This was so wrong.
"How can you do this to me?" Bo asked one day. She looked right in her sister's eyes, hoping she would realize that this was just cruel.
"I'm doing this to protect you," Satine tried to reach out to her. Satine had been trying to grab her hands and talk to her for the last two weeks. One day she had tried to bring a head doctor to talk to her. Couldn't she see that there was nothing wrong with her? She was fine.
"I don't need that," Bo said, clutching her hands together. "Satine, I can't stand this. I feel…"
Satine pulled her into a hug and at first, Bo didn't pull away from her sister. She let her hold her. She wanted to pretend that she was still the little girl who could believe her sister knew what was right, even if she never could be. Time was funny. It could never be rewound or fast-forwarded no matter how much she might long it to be.
And time was unforgiving.
"You know you can just tell me what's going on. Then we can figure it out, Bo-Bo." Bo-Bo… no one had called her that in so long. Bo's stomach twisted and for a moment she felt like a horrible sister. Maybe Satine did love her still. Bo loved her. She would never be able to stop loving her, even if she hurt Mandalore.
Loving her sister was just part of her DNA. Something that couldn't be changed.
"I'm fine," Bo said calmly.
Somehow that made Satine look even worse. Tears felled her eyes.
"Satine…" Bo said, wanting to roll her eyes, but something kept her from doing so.
"I feel like I'm losing you. Like… you're not letting me help you when I could." She clutched her hands together and stared at her in such a desperate way. This wasn't like Satine. She wasn't supposed to care about her. Pre told Bo all the time that her sister didn't give a damn what happened to her.
Then why was she acting this way?
Why did Satine have to make everything so much harder than it was?
"I'm… I'm…" Once again Bo thought about telling her sister everything, but she knew that Pre would warn her that Satine was saying all of this to trick her. And as soon as she told her, she would backstab her and make sure that Bo was punished.
And worse that Mandalore suffered.
And Pre had been there for Bo when Satine wasn't.
She couldn't forget that.
"I'm really okay, Satine," Bo said. "Really. I'm sorry that I haven't spent that much time with you." She tried to form tears in her eyes, but she wasn't
Satine pulled her in a hug. "Just remember that I'll always love you, Bo. No matter what happens."
Bo tried to say something but words wouldn't come out. She wished that it could be true. That Satine would always love her, but she probably already wouldn't if she knew what she had done. Pre told her that all the time.
And Pre didn't lie to Bo. He had never betrayed or hurt her. It wasn't the same with Satine who always put anyone else before her sister.
Satine finally pulled away and kissed her on the forehead. Even after, Bo still felt it. It almost felt like she had left a mark on her forehead. A scarlet letter.
Bo felt guilty for lying to her sister and not telling her everything that happened, but she would just use that against her. Bo would never be good enough to Satine. There would always be something wrong with her. She couldn't be a pacifist like her. She just wasn't made that way. Satine wasn't stupid. She had seen that.
"I love you too," Bo muttered quietly. And she did love Satine, despite all that she was doing. And despite that she was going to have to leave.
"Maybe… maybe you should go to stay with your foster parents from the war," Satine said, pulling away. She wiped at her eyes. "I… I don't want you to leave, but if that would help you…"
Part of Bo was tempted to take that offer, but that wouldn't be what was right for Mandalore. She had to ignore what she wanted.
"I don't want to leave you," Bo muttered.
Satine responded by hugging her yet again. Bo allowed it despite everything.
Bo had to wait until the moment was right. Eventually her sister got a bit lazier with having people watch her. Maybe she thought that Bo wasn't going to do anything after all and that things could go back how they used to be. At one point her sister ended up taking her and Korkie to visit their old family home. Apparently, they had a great aunt who was going to be living there. The woman was insane, but she seemed to like Bo, so Bo took that time to hide some of the things she had there.
She ended up hiding the old holocom devices that Pre had contacted her with, one of the slugthrowers, a bottle of alcohol, and a necklace there. All those were things he gave her. She paused and then took off the necklace that Fenn had given her and hid it there too. Part of her didn't want to leave this, even though Fenn had left and yet, she knew that she couldn't take it with her. If she did, then Pre might do something with it. Maybe one day Bo would come back for it.
Maybe Pre would be mad that she hadn't brought the necklace he gave her, but she just… something about it just was weird to her. She wanted to keep it here anyway. She could come back and get it later if she needed it for something. Like to sell it.
As soon as Bo left, she found her great aunt and made up some story about how Satine had been looking in her stuff and hated her because she wasn't a pacifist. Really it didn't require much imagination. Her sister might not hate her, but she wanted her to be more like her.
Even after she had to wait, but eventually Satine mentioned how she was going to be off world for awhile.
"I'm going to be traveling to Krownest," Satine said. She put her hands on Bo's shoulders. She had been hugging her and putting her hands on her shoulders a lot more now. Bo wondered if this was her way of showing her affection. She would have liked it when she was little, but now it didn't make a difference. "I thought maybe you could come with me. You could see the people you—"
"I have school," Bo said without any emotion in her voice. She didn't want her sister to know that she was up to something.
"But you can miss a few days," Satine said. "It'll be fun. We can also do something together while there. Come on, Bo. Please."
"You said that school is important. We'll have summer to do things," Bo said. But that would never have happened. Even if Bo hadn't left, her sister would have eventually been too busy for her again. Right now, she was just trying to be there for her because she thought something was wrong with Bo, but really she had never seen things clearer than she did right now.
Satine sighed. "I guess, but don't—"
"I don't want to fall behind," Bo said, even though there wasn't part of her that cared about this.
"Maybe you can come to Krownest over the weekend then," Satine said, still not giving up. It would almost be better if she just acted angry with her. Bo couldn't help but feel guilty when she acted so desperate to spend time with her.
"I… Fine," Bo said, since her sister wasn't going to cave. She would make sure that she was gone because of that anyway.
Satine grinned and then hugged her. "It'll be good. We can have some bonding time. We can talk." By that Bo knew that she was hoping that Bo would tell her all of her deep dark secrets. Wouldn't she have liked that?
Bo didn't even know what her sister would do if she knew about Pre being the leader of Death Watch. Her sister stupidly thought that Pre was on her side. She had no idea that he hated everything that she stood for. How could her sister not see it?
When Satine left, Bo felt better. Yes, the protectors were still around, but this was still her chance. She wasn't going to be able to bring much. Just what she could hold in her backpack. Otherwise, the protectors would get suspicious. It was fine. It wasn't like she needed that much. Pre would be able to get her what she needed.
Bo's stomach twisted the first two classes. She couldn't believe that this was going to be it. She didn't know if she would even do school when she was in Death Watch. Lots of Mandalorians didn't go this far. She just had to because of who she was. Still even though Bo had never been as smart as Satine, she didn't know what she thought about this. She didn't know when she would see her friends from school again.
Luckily, they might never know what she had done. The same with Korkie and Satine. They might not know she had joined Death Watch. Bo wasn't even able to leave a note to her sister. She felt bad, but it wasn't like she had any choice. She didn't want her sister sending people to Concordia to retrieve her.
After second period, Bo knew that it was time. When the halls were crowded full of students, she pushed through them heading toward the exit. The school had decent security but people could leave during free periods if they wanted.
She didn't have any, but she could lie if they asked, but she was hoping that no one would see her. But she had only taken a few steps outside when one of the security guards called to her.
"Bo-Katan Kryze," he said. Of course, he knew her. She had never spoken to her, but he probably knew her solely because of who she was related to. She couldn't stand it. She could only imagine what it would be like to be a normal student. He came over and smiled at her. "Why are you leaving campus?"
Bo knew that she should force herself to smile like her sister did when she wanted people to do what she wanted. But she couldn't make herself do that.
"I… I have things to do for my sister," Bo said.
"Really?" he asked.
"Yes." Bo didn't even blink and tried not to show any emotion in her voice. People at the academy liked her sister so she could use this to her advantage. "She wouldn't be happy if I didn't go where I needed to in time."
He studied her.
"Really, it's a matter of—" Bo tried to say.
"I was told that your sister has been having… difficulties with you…" What? Satine had actually had ever told who worked at the academy. How dare she. Couldn't she keep some things just between their family? But no, she had to talk about this.
"There haven't been any difficulties." Bo put her hands on her hips. "Now do you want my sister to get mad that you caused me not to be there on time, or not?
He studied her and for a moment Bo thought that it might work. That he would cave since she had name dropped Satine.
But then he shook her head and pulled out his com device. I'm sorry, Bo-Katan Kryze, but we were specifically told not to let you go." He reached for her but she dodged out of the way easily. If she had to she could have knocked him down.
But she didn't want to.
But she did grab the com device and threw it to the ground. It shattered into dozens of pieces. He stared at her and opened his mouth to say something. She didn't care what he had to say. She needed to get out of here.
She took off running.