Sorry I Couldn't be Better 33- The End Part 2

So, yeah…hi?

I was re-reading this story the other night and basically had a heart attack when I saw how long ago I had uploaded. I swear in my head it was like a year? I'm so embarrassed honestly. All I can do is apologise and work hard to finish this story for those of you who are still around. I am going to finish this story, I promise. I've come too far to not finish it, and even though the earlier chapters make me cringe (yeah I was definitely 15 when I wrote those) I am still so, so proud of what I've done here. Even if there's nobody out there still, I owe it to myself just as much as I owe it to you.

This was going to be the last chapter but it just got so long that I had to split it into two.

Response to guest reviews

Guest Aug 2 2018: I'm glad you liked it and I'm really happy I could give you something you were looking for
Guest 2 Aug 2 2018: Thank you sm x
Jonas: Thank you so much for the review, it was lovely! And thanks for the support as well x

On with the story (bout time huh)

In the grand scheme of things, the time Maka spent at DWMA was short. Both in comparison to the life she'd already lived and the time her friends had spent within the white walls. At the end of the day, if you laid out everyone's time on a graph, Maka would be a colourless bar right at the bottom, small and insignificant. An outlier, someone who probably made no impact at all compared to everyone else.

That wasn't the right way to look at it though. Her time spent in the hospital couldn't be quantified by simple data based on only where she'd been at what time. It all meant so much more than that. To truly understand it all would be to have been there, and if you hadn't been well then Maka didn't owe it to anyone to try and explain just why her short, short time at DWMA had changed so much about her.

"So where are you going?" Kid asked. Maka's group of closest friends were sitting in the squishy armchair circle, enjoying each other's company before it was time for light's out. "Surely not back with your parents."

"No," Maka smiled. "Definitely not. Actually, I'm going to be living with Tsubaki."

"You are?!" Blackstar shot up in his chair. "That's so cool! It's like you're sisters."

Tsubaki and Maka shared a look. "We certainly hope it will be like that," Tsubaki said.

"It'll take a bit of getting used to," Maka admitted. "I've never had friends like you guys before, let alone a sibling."

"You've had time to practice with us though," Liz grinned. "Got to see firsthand what having friends are like."

"And sisters!" Patty cheered. "You're gonna be just like me and Liz."

"Maybe not exactly like," Maka said, though she smiled fondly.

"Will you come back to visit?" Kid wanted to know.

Tsubaki frowned. "My parents live really far away, which is why they'd never been able to visit me."

"So you're not gonna come back?" Blackstar looked alarmed, then angry. "Are we never going to see you again? Or do you just not like us, is that it?"

"Blackstar, no, of course not," Tsubaki rushed to comfort her friend. "If you'd let me finish, I was going to say that me and Maka are going to try even harder than my parents did to make sure we can come and see you."

"Even if it means overnight trips," Maka said. "We're not just going to forget about you guys."

How could I ever do that? You're my friends. My family!

"There'll probably be more excursions too," Soul said. "You can meet us like Kim did."

"You really think they'd let us out again after the aquarium debacle?" Liz snorted.

"They let us out again after the zoo fiasco and that was way worse," Soul countered.

"True."

"So, yeah," Maka looked around at all her friends. "We're going to stay together. All of us."

There was a resounding cheer, a chorus of woops and agreements. Looking around, Maka felt that she may never be happier than she was now, safe and secure in the knowledge that her life really was on the path towards something better. She had a future, one where she could love and be loved, surrounded by people who knew and understood her just as she did to them.

There was just one slight problem.

"There's someone I have to go talk to," Maka said, standing up. "Someone I haven't seen yet."

"Who?" Soul asked.

"Crona."

Crona hadn't been at dinner during Maka's announcement. They often missed big gatherings like that, overwhelmed at how many people were there and working themselves up until they couldn't possibly handle it. Maka was sad to have to tell her friend the bad news during one of their bad spells but she didn't want to avoid telling them less it come across as malicious and secretive.

Friends told each other things and so Maka needed to tell Crona that she was leaving.

A nurse was just slipping out of Crona's room when Maka arrived and for a moment the teen was worried she wouldn't be allowed in.

"Maka, perfect," the nurse said, instantly easing Maka's fears. "I was told you'd be dropping by."

Maka had to laugh at that. She herself hadn't really thought about visiting Crona until now but trust Marie and Azusa to know that she would.

"Is Crona alright?" Maka asked.

"They're fine, just a bit too tired to put up with too many people which is why they missed dinner," the nurse replied. "You're all good to go in."

"Thanks."

The nurse walked away and Maka paused for a moment, taking the time to rehearse what she was going to say. Then, when she felt she was ready, she knocked on the door.

"I don't want to take anymore t-tablets," a quivering voice called.

"Good thing I didn't bring any!" Maka called back.

There was a brief silence.

"Maka?"

"Can I come in?"

"…okay…"

Maka let herself in. The room was dark and lit with a small night light tucked away in a corner. Crona was curled up in a ball at the head of their bed, back pressed against the wall.

"Hey," Maka said softly. "I missed you at dinner."

"Why?" Crona titled their head. "We don't sit together."

"No," Maka agreed. "But I had some news for everyone that you missed."

"News? What kind of news? I don't know if I'm very good at dealing with news."

"Me neither," Maka forced a laugh. "Can I…can I sit?"

Crona nodded and squished themselves further into the corner, allowing Maka all the space in the world.

"I-I…" she'd had it all planned out and now the words were drying up in her throat. "Crona, I…"

I what? I'm sorry? Is that going to make things better for them?

Is it going to make things better for me?

How many times can you come to grips with things and then still find yourself full of doubt all over again?

"Crona, I'm leaving the hospital. I'm going home."

"Wuh-what?" Crona sat bolt upright, nearly slamming their head against the wall. "You're leaving. N-no, you can't! We only just became friends. I don't know how to deal with you leaving, I don't-I don't know how!"

"Me neither," Maka admitted those familiar words. "I don't know how to deal with it either."

"Then why leave? Wuh-why are you leaving?"

"Because it's time."

"That doesn't make sense!"

"I know," Maka said. "It doesn't make sense for a lot of people but it does for me. And I hope that because we're friends, it'll make sense for you one day."

"With you gone I won't have any f-f-friends," Crona clutched at their blankets.

"Then, maybe you could try making some?" Maka suggested. "I knew I was really struggling when I first came here because I felt all alone, but then I made friends with everyone. I bet they'd be happy to do the same with you."

"Really?"

"Really," Maka said. "I know maybe they're sometimes a bit too loud for your liking, but they're all really good people. Or maybe you could try being friends with Harvar and Jacqueline. They're both very quiet."

"I only became your friend because you r-reached out to me," Crona whispered. "I don't know how to take the f-first step."

"All you can do is try," Maka urged.

And that's when it hit her.

Not that long ago, she was like this. Scared and afraid and facing down people who kept on telling her to try, that things would be worth it, that she just had to get up and keep going, keep moving somewhere instead of just stopping and giving up.

She hadn't forgotten all that of course, that would be impossible. It was just, all of a sudden, she realised what she was doing.

She was helping in the way Marie and Azusa and all her friends had tried and succeeded in doing for her.

"You'll never have to worry about finding me, Soul. Because I'm never going to leave you."

How? How could she stay with a boy who the world had given up on?

By helping.

"All you can do is try," Maka said again. "And I'm going to keep trying too, and I'm going to help you and Soul and everyone, just like you all helped me."

"Helped?"

"I'm not going to leave any of you, Crona," Maka held out a hand. "We're in this together, remember?"

And slowly, ever so slowly but surely, Crona reached out and took Maka's hand, just like they had when they'd first become friends.

"M-my name is Crona."

"Nice to meet you Crona. My name is Maka. I hope we can be friends."

On Maka's second to last day, she skipped lunch to find Marie. She knew Azusa was busy with Liz so she wouldn't be able to chat with the two of them, but she also knew Marie would fill her friend in later anyway.

"What's up, Maka?" Marie smiled, bright and easy when Maka slipped into her office. "I thought you'd be spending as much time with everyone as possible before the big day tomorrow."

"Well, that includes you," Maka said shyly.

"It does?" Marie's laugh was delighted. "I can't tell you how happy that makes me, Maka. I'm so proud of you."

Maka had never been good at accepting compliments so she ducked her head and sat down across from her therapist. "I did have another reason for coming to see you though."

"You did?"

"I…I think I want to do what you do. I want to be a therapist."

"Oh, Maka," Marie gave her an unreadable look. "That's so sweet and commendable but…"

"But?"

"It's a very hard job," Marie said. "And rarely rewarding. And for someone like you, maybe it might cause relapses."

"But-but I want to help. I want to stay with everyone here and if I can help them, isn't that a good thing?"

"You help them by being their friend. You don't have to be their therapists as well."

"I think I'd be good at it though," Maka argued. "I mean, all those times you dragged me off to meet with people, to sit with Kid or chat with Crona. Didn't you do that because you thought it would help them?"

"I…yes…" Marie sighed. It was a sad sound. "You had a lot put on your shoulders while you were here, Maka, and sometimes that was our fault. You're such a kind, empathetic person. You connected with people we thought would never connect with people again. We thought that it would help you realise just how amazing you are."

I'm not amazing. Not like that, not like you think I am

"Then I want to try and do it for real. I want to try, and maybe I'll stop later because it is too hard, but I know that right here, right now, that's what I want to do. That's what I'm going to work towards when I get out of here. I've been given a second chance at life and I'm going to take it with both my hands."

"Okay," Marie said, and Maka was surprised to see tears in her eyes. "That sounds good, Maka. That sounds very good."

"Where were you at lunch?" Soul caught up with Maka in the hallway as she headed towards her second to last group session- technically last since the session tomorrow would be a whole lot less therapy and a whole lot more sentimentality.

"Went to see Marie," Maka replied. "About my plans for after I leave."

"How'd that go?"

"Not as I'd planned but pretty alright."

"Yeah?"

"How come you're being so nice?" Maka glanced over at the boy next to her.

"Nice? What about me right now is nice?" Soul glared.

"Well, courteous then."

"Maka," Soul sighed. "I'm just trying to hang out, that's all."

"Small talk doesn't suit us," Maka shrugged. "Not after we've shared all our trauma and such."

"True," Soul conceded with a laugh. "Honestly, I don't think small talk suits anyone."

"And yet every day we endure it,"

"Heh."

"Hurry up you two," Sid walked past. "You're gonna be late for group."

"You're late too!" Soul called after him. "Urgh, come on, can't have you late on your second to last day."

Maka smiled indulgently, sure that whether she was late or not wasn't actually a concern of anyone but happy enough to run after Soul anyway.

Dinner was a semi-quiet affair after the somewhat sad group session where they'd all talked about goodbyes and how hard they were and how to deal with change. There'd been some tears, some sad stories shared and an almost meltdown from Patty that had luckily been avoided thanks to Liz calming her down. Maka herself had got a bit weepy, doubting herself all over again which was just starting to feel old. How many times could she change her mind over the course of three days?

Still, it was nice to sit down with her friends for one last dinner. Maka had even managed to wave Crona over and was listening as the shy teen made awkward conversation with an equally awkward Tsubaki.

"What have you chosen for lunch tomorrow?' Liz asked, poking suspiciously at the lasagne they'd been served.

"Tsubaki picked," Maka glanced over at her friend. "I think it might be sushi or something like that."

"Hmm," Liz gave one piece of mince a particularly angry jab. "Do you think we get to make it if it is?"

"What I want to know is why I'm not allowed anymore apples," Patty cut in.

"Because your apple towers are a hazard," Kid said fondly. "And Nygus could have broken her ankle."

"It wasn't my fault the tower fell over." Patty pouted.

"You gonna miss the food?" Blackstar asked around a mouthful of lasagne.

"Maybe," Maka looked at Tsubaki again. "Tsubaki said her mum's a good cook though, and that her dad's pretty good at baking."

"The best," Tsubaki chipped in before returning back to her conversation with Crona. Were they talking about gardening?

"Ah, I'm so jealous," Blackstar groaned. "You guys get to live together, that's so cool."

"We all live together already, Blackstar," Soul pointed out dryly.

"Yeah, but like, they're doing it in the real world, not some stupid hospital."

It was a sobering point. Maka remembered Soul's frantic words to her about so many of them being lost causes, never again allowed in the world because they were too far gone.

Not if I can help it

"One day we should all live together," Blackstar declared. "In the real world."

It was a lofty goal, a near impossible one considering who the impulsive teen was addressing. Lesser people might have laughed him off. Instead…

"That sounds really nice," Tsubaki said.

"Yeah!" Patty agreed. At her side, Liz nodded.

"I think it's a great idea," Maka smiled.

"I suppose it could be fun," Kid said ambiguously though his grin gave him away.

"I'm in," Soul lounged in his chair and shot Maka a toothy grin. "After all, aren't we never leaving each other?"

"Shut up," Maka's cheeks flamed red. "I didn't hear you disagreeing when I said."

"No," Soul said thoughtfully. "Suppose so."

"You telling me you're having second thoughts?" Maka's stomach turned in on itself and she pushed her plate away. Around them, conversation had started up about what a potential shared house might look like, courtesy of Kid insisting on symmetrical architecture. It was just her and Soul stuck on this conversation.

"No, of course not," Soul held his fork up to the light where it caught against the glare of his red eyes. "I meant what I said, about finding you. And I was happy when you turned it back on me and said you'd never leave me."

"But…?"

"No but," Soul said. "Scout's honour."

"As if you were ever a scout," Maka scoffed.

"Got me there," her friend laughed. "They don't let people like me be scouts."

"Yeah, sure, but I doubt you even wanted to be one in the first place."

"Got me again," Soul pulled a face. "Wes was a scout. I couldn't stomach the thought of turning out like him. What if I ended up ironing my underwear or some shit like that?"

The two stared at each other before dissolving into giggles.

"Trust me, Maka," Soul said between laughs. "I'm not doubting everything. Promise. If anything, I'm waiting."

"Waiting?"

"For this," Soul gestured at everyone as they argued over how many bathrooms their future house would need. "For us."

For…us?

"You know, I was sort of joking about the house," Maka admitted. "Do you really think it's possible? Weren't you the one who told me about how many of the people here are lost causes?"

"Wouldn't you have said the same about yourself when you first arrived here?"

"I…yeah, I would have."

I probably did

"Seeing you come here, grow and change and get to leave, it's inspiring, ya know?" Soul put his fork down and fixed his eyes on Maka. "So let's make this work, together, alright? Really, truly let's all live together one day."

"Alright then," Maka grinned. "Let's do it."

Thank you again so much everyone. I'll have the final part out in the next week or so, it's basically finished apart from a lil epilogue