It was the end of another long day of travelling through Orlais and Ellana found herself completed exhausted. The time spent in Val Roueaux could hardly have been considered a rest – Ellana hadn't even entered the city in fear of someone recognizing her and their cover being blown. Cassandra and Alistair had quickly run to restock on supplies while Ellana and Cullen remained with the horses on the outskirts of town.
Ellana glanced over at Cullen and watched him as he pulled out their map for the hundredth time since departing Skyhold, likely to scrutinize the planned route and look for any last-minute considerations or concerns. His forehead was slightly burnt from the long hours of riding under the hot summer sun. Ellana laughed – come to think of it, all four of them likely had flushed faces and reddened cheeks; when they resumed their travels, Ellana would try to suffer though the extra heat that her cloak brought in order to use its hood as a shield for her face. Another glance at Cullen and she found herself wondering how he was faring in all of his heavy armor. Somewhat delirious from the dry air and lack of fresh water that morning, she started feverishly laughing. He glanced over to check in on what was so funny and she found herself falling further into the endless giggles.
"What has you laughing?" Cullen chuckled, unable to keep a straight face while Ellana was losing herself.
"I don't know," Ellana wiped her eyes of tears, "I was just thinking about how warm you must be right now and how you'd likely prefer to have something lighter on – like myself. Then I started picturing you in my suit and," she roared into another fit of laugher, "oh Cullen, maybe I've finally lost my mind. I can't stop laughing." She tried to contain herself.
He started laughing with her and raised an eyebrow, "You don't think I could pull it off?"
Ellana coyly walked over to him, "I think you enjoy looking at me more than I would enjoy looking at you in this." She giggled.
"I certainly do enjoy looking at you…" he wrapped his arms around her and began lightly nibbling at her neck.
"I know you do," she tiled her head to reveal more of her skin for him to trace with his lips. 'That's why I wear it…" she whispered and smirked at him.
"I thought it was for mobility?" he mimicked her voice from all the times she had defended her choice of clothing to him back when they first met; back when he still attempted to argue with her and actually thought he had any hope of winning.
She buried her face into his chest and lightly chuckled. "Two birds with one stone…" she mumbled through a sly grin.
He grinned, "I see. Good to know – you were always trying to get my attention right from the start."
Ellana laughed and glanced up at him with a slight blush, "Perhaps I was…"
"Got the supplies!" Alistair's voice interrupted the two of them and they withdrew from each other's arms, preparing to head out for more travelling. They had around six hours before sundown and Cullen wanted to make it farther away from the city before they set up camp.
Several hours later, Ellana released a huge sigh as she finally laid down on the floor of her tent and instantly fell into a deep sleep. Ellana had strange dreams that evening – dreams of her running through a forest, barefoot and with blood slowly trickling down the side of her face. Something was chasing her: a dark shadow followed closely on her heel, gaining speed and closing the distance between them. A quick shift and she was in an open sea, struggling to take in air as cold waves viciously crashed over her; salt water spilling into her mouth and burning her lungs as she felt herself being pulled down by the frigid water into the dark unknown. Another shift and Ellana found herself floating in the air, similar to the confusing dream she had that afternoon when riding back from the Well of Sorrows on Cullen's horse. She looked down on the ground and saw herself walking through an open field, eyes closed and stumbling over tiny rocks – was she sleepwalking? Was this real? She watched herself nearly slip on a slight hill and willed herself to wake up. This felt wrong… she didn't want to be here anymore. Where were the others? Where was camp? …Where was Cullen?
Ellana sharply opened her eyes and found herself in an unknown field, confused and startled about how she had gotten there. She glanced down and found herself without shoes, wearing her light tunic and cloak – the clothing she had gone to sleep in… had she walked here… in her sleep? Where was she?
A loud snarling noise quickly shook any remaining sleepiness from Ellana as she jumped in alert to spin around and find the source of the loud noise: a large black bear. Ellana instinctively reached behind to grab her daggers and realized that she was unarmed – she hadn't worn any weapons to bed. She gulped and began to panic as the bear slowly inched closer to her, flexing its claws as if to prepare for ripping into her skin before devouring her small body.
Ellana frantically glanced around for anything that she could use as a weapon and felt a small wave of relief as she noticed a sharp looking tree branch on the ground nearby. She pounced over to the side as the bear lunged at her and grabbed the stick, crouching down and holding it towards the bear – hoping that it would decide to leave her alone. Unfortunately, that was not the case and it lurched at her for a second time. Ellana used both hands and jabbed the stick into the mouth of the bear, hoping to slice open its chops and send a message that she could defend herself. The bear let out a wounded whine before grabbing the stick with its teeth and pulling it from Ellana's hands to throw off to the side.
Ellana backed up and once again, began panicking – she was in deep trouble. She lifted her hand and quickly began considering her options; should she use her magic? Did she have a choice? Was being possessed better than dying? None of her companions were anywhere near her… they were likely all asleep at the camp. What would happen to her if she did become possessed? Would they ever find her again, or would she be roaming Thedas killing endless innocents who ended up in her unfortunate path? She lowered her hand – the thought of that was something that she couldn't live with. She'd rather die...
Just as Ellana resigned herself to fate and closed her eyes in prayer to the Creators, a loud howl called out from her side. She flung open her eyes to watch as a large wolf crashed onto the bear, gouging its sharp fangs into its thick fur. The bear moaned in agony as the wolf tightened its grip; Ellana watched as dark red blood trickled down the bear's side and pooled on the ground. The wolf released its grip and steadied itself to pounce again, offering the bear a final chance to surrender and retreat. Wounded and unwilling to fight for such a scrawny meal, the bear turned around and fled.
Ellana stood paralyzed, unsure if the wolf would now turn its gaze upon her – had they just fought over whom would be eating her for dinner? Ellana felt a strange sensation as she stood before the wolf and gazed into its eyes… "Solas?" she hazily called out, feeling somewhat foolish for even considering the idea...
A flock of birds took off into the midnight sky from a tree behind Ellana and she quickly turned, fearing the bear had come back. Upon realizing it was just the noise of birds, she turned around to find that the wolf had vanished. Ellana brought a hand before her face and felt a cool breeze ruffle through her fingers, confirming that she was truly here in this moment. "Maybe I have lost it…" she spoke out loud to herself before gathering her thoughts and scrutinizing the ground for tracks that would lead to camp.
She ran into Cullen halfway back to the camp; he had woken up in the middle of the night and panicked upon realizing that Ellana was missing from their tent. He quickly grabbed his sword and began running in the direction of her light footprints within the dense grass – praying that he had chosen the correct direction. The moment she felt his arms pull her into a protective embrace, tears began to feely fall.
"Ellana, what happened? I woke up and you were missing from camp! Your shoes…" he quickly picked her up in his arms upon noticing the small cuts and scrapes on her feet.
"I don't know, Cullen." Ellana buried her face into his neck and hoarsely whispered, "I don't know how I ended up here... what is happening to me?"
Cullen didn't know what to say. He held her tightly in his arms and began walking back to camp, intent on getting her back into their warm tent and staying awake for the rest of the evening so that she could get some sleep.
The next morning, Cullen quietly filled Cassandra and Alistair in on Ellana's midnight stroll as she was still waking up from within their tent. Cullen didn't want to embarrass Ellana – and he knew she would have preferred to keep that between them – but he was concerned about her and thought it best that Cassandra and Alistair knew about it. They both agreed to keep quiet and that moving forward, the three of them would keep an eye on her.
By mid-afternoon, Ellana found herself struggling to stay awake while her horse trotted on the dusty trail. The hot sunshine left a warm tingling sensation on her skin, making it all too easy to involuntarily fall asleep. She yawned and decided to engage Cassandra in a conversation that was certain to wake herself up.
"Cassandra, have you come to any decision on how best to use the Book of Secrets?" she called over.
Cassandra had taken the book from Lord Seeker Lucius a few months ago after he forced the Inquisition into battle at Caer Oswin. Upon reading it, Cassandra had found hidden information on the Rite of Tranquility – specifically, the ability to reverse it. Ellana had strongly argued the Inquisition peruse this and make it a main priority after defeating Corypheus. Cassandra requested a few months to consider the option and reach out to any remaining Seekers in order to gain their opinion. It had led to quite the argument between the two of them: Ellana couldn't comprehend what there was to consider – of course they should pursue the option to reverse tranquility! It was a disgusting practice that should never have been implemented! Eventually, Ellana calmed down and decided to place trust in her friend that she would come to that same conclusion on her own. They hadn't spoken about the event since, yet it often weighed on Ellana's mind. This may not be an ideal time to ask about it… but when would be?
Cullen heard Ellana call over to Cassandra about the Book of Secrets and tensed; the last time the two women discussed this topic, it had been an all-out brawl for weeks. Cullen had to walk on eggshells around both of them until the argument seemed to fizzle out – each of them attempting to get him on their side of the debate. Surprisingly, Cullen agreed with Ellana. He was never a fan of the Rite of Tranquility as a Templar and deeply regretted his ignorant support of it during his outburst after Kinloch… he didn't truly feel like that and never had. Even if Mages were dangerous, no one should have to go through something like tranquility. That being said, Cassandra was the one woman in Thedas whose wrath scared him more than the thought of Ellana's – so he kept his mouth shut and did his best to avoid the argument. At hearing Ellana's decision to bring it up again today, he quickly dropped his horse back in speed and signaled for Alistair to do the same.
"Trust me – " he whispered over to his friend, "We're not going to want to be involved in this."
"Yes, I have made a decision." Cassandra called over.
Ellana tensed, anxiously waiting for her to say more.
"I agree, the Inquisition should explore this information and formally support the reversal of tranquility for those who wish to have it reversed – along with taking a stand against using the Rite of Tranquility moving forward."
Ellana grinned at her friend, "Cassandra, I am so pleased to hear you say that. Why hadn't you mentioned anything?"
"I didn't think it was the time, considering everything with your… condition and our impending journey to Nevarra. I thought it best not to place any extra concerns on you at this time."
"This is a concern that I am more than happy to think about." Beamed Ellana; she was ecstatic! Once they returned to Skyhold, she couldn't wait to start dedicating resources to this and try to make some headway. "May I ask what changed your mind?"
"Hearing of your time in Kinloch." Cassandra glanced over towards her, "How the Templars threatened you with it without having just cause. Over the years, I knew it was being used inappropriately, widely across Thedas and that should have bothered me much more than it did. It's been quite a while since I've considered a mage to be a dear friend of mine… and hearing of your possible exposure to it gave me the final shock I needed to take a stand."
Ellana suddenly halted her horse, dismounted and motioned for Cassandra to do the same. Cullen watched as the two women jumped off their horses and widened his eyes in horror – this was much worse than he had expected! An argument: yes, he had been prepared for, but physical combat? Were the two of them getting ready to fight? He nervously watched as Ellana walked over to Cassandra and… wrapped her arms around the Seeker in a hug?
"You don't know how much it means to me that you've said that, Cassandra." Ellana fondly pulled her friend into an embrace, "To hear how willing you have become to reevaluate your old beliefs and to take a stand, now, for what you believe is right. That is brave, my friend. Thank you."
"Yes, well… it is nothing…" Cassandra stammered, not used to such display of affection. Friendship to Cassandra meant weekly sparring as her and the Commander regularly practiced. She looked at the tiny Elf before her and laughed – she had never met someone quite like Ellana. These days, she was one of Cassandra's most valued friends. She looked from the Inquisitor to the Commander and chuckled; apparently opposites attract in all sorts of relationships – romantic and friendships.
Alistair laughed. "Cullen, thank the Maker we stayed away from the big scary hug attack. Don't worry – I'm not about to start trying that on you. Ladies, shall we continue?"
Cullen was bewildered. That had gone a completely different direction than he had expected… he glanced over at Ellana and astonishingly smiled; she always seemed to bring out the best in people.
The four of them carried on for a few more hours before finally finding a place to rest and set up camp. Cullen pulled Ellana into an exceptionally close embrace that evening, ensuring the entanglement of their limbs so that he would awaken at any movement for another midnight stroll.
Soooo, Ellana is starting to fall apart… the longer she goes without being cured. A few things will be happening over the next several chapters, which will be explained from her beginning to lose grip on reality. Nevarra is going to be a bumpy ride, folks! Albeit, an interesting one :D
Also, I think this is my favorite of the group dynamics 3 Cullen/Alistair, Ellana/Cassandra, Cullen/Cassandra, all the friendship feels. I literally love thinking about this group of 4 travelling across Thedas lmao.
Also also, I know it's a game and they can only program so many conversations/comments, and not everyone chooses to play as an Elven mage (shocking, I know) however... I feel like the characters would absolutely reevaluate their beliefs about the world/customs/how Elves are treated/how mages are treated, etc if they became such close friends with an Elven Inquisitor. I would have loved a few convos about something like this in the game; it kind of feels like they skip over it and never really address how disorienting it would be - becoming so close with people from complete opposite backgrounds. Personal growth and betterment isn't the point of DA:I, I get it ... but, it was odd to never really hear Cullen or Cassandra/anyone else comment about how crappy Elves are treated in Thedas. Even though Ellana is Dalish, it's still something that I imagine would be devastating for her. I keep wondering: what do the alienages look like? Have they improved? Anywho, rant over hehe.
Thank you for reading! Who is in your ideal travel squad? I'd love to know!