I don't own anything in the Twilight universe, only my OCs and drunk ideas. Please don't repost any of my works.
Flashbacks will be written in italics, but everything in this chapter is set after the events of the previous one. Hope you enjoy!
"How does someone like you with so many hopes and dreams feel content with doing this?" I wondered aloud.
"Cause there's no other choice. Course, I'd always dreamed of living a long life, to eventually travel the world, to entertain as many people as I could with my music. Who knows, maybe I would've ended up having a family one day too. But either way, us humans are always destined to die one day or another. Maybe knowing that I live in a world that allows monsters like vampires to exist, where the strong have to kill the weak to survive, I feel grateful to have experienced so much by my age and I'd be an idiot to waste the time I have left worrying about death.
"If I hadn't've been kidnapped that day, I might well have died the day after regardless. I could've crashed my car, got hit by a bus, been diagnosed with some untreatable illness. Or I could've died years later as an old lady after accomplishing everything I'd ever wanted. Maybe it's me just trying to rationalise it, but after I realised I had no way of fighting back, of changing my fate, I accepted my role. Marcus is a good man, yet even he couldn't let me go free. After all, I'm a performer, so what difference does it make to play a role - to die with a purpose. Many others face less glamorous ends without knowing anything aside from suffering in their lives, whereas I've been lucky enough to have a taster of fulfillment. I've travelled. I've performed. If me dying here in a few weeks means that someone else might get the chance to live, then I'll happily face my end."
Jojo had long since fallen into unconsciousness, a smile of acceptance haunting her lips despite the remnants of tear stains upon her coffee-coloured skin, which had gradually lost its glow over the past few hours, the last sign of her ever having been a living person.
I admired how easily she had been able to come to terms with dying, although some might call it foolish. I'd got lucky with my circumstances, having tried my best to avoid thinking about my own mortality even in my human life. Although I'd had to consider facing death when I was plotting my revenge against the people who took my family from me, I'd had bigger things on my mind. Deep down, I knew it was because I was terrified of dying and becoming a vampire had only postponed that worry. The world of the living was so beautiful and life itself was almost a miracle. Who would willingly give that up? Perhaps I'd become too used to immortality and the fact that there did not need to be an end to understand properly.
However, my recent interactions with modern humans such as Zala and Jojo had changed my perception of them completely. Maybe it was because they were such fragile creatures that they could more easily accept the possibility of an end. But I saw it as a strength that I did not have. To me, death would be the ultimate punishment. I did everything within my power to make sure none that I loved would die, and that in turn had made me so easy to manipulate. Aro knew that it is what I feared the most.
Ever since I'd discovered that she was in the same position as I, I'd done all in my power to learn about this human ability of self-sacrifice and what had motivated Jojo to be so optimistic despite having no other choice. But I was still no closer to understanding her courage.
Gazing upon Jojo's still body, I felt a pang of sorrow. Caius's hand squeezed my waist gently, pulling me closer to him so I could rest my head on his shoulder.
"You should sit down, especially if you're going to stay for a while," he murmured, placing a kiss on my head and rubbing his other hand across my swollen stomach. Thankfully, I only had three days to wait until I was free of my burden.
Marcus had reluctantly taken his and Jojo's child to their makeshift nursery to feed him somewhere away from the smell of her blood, leaving me standing at her bedside, the next in line.
Of everyone in the coven who I personally thought was ready to become a parent, Marcus would have been near the bottom of my list, somewhere near the twins, but Jojo had always seemed so confident in him. Her trust had somehow managed to motivate him as well. But now that her aura of energy had gone, he had been plunged back into the depths of his despair - mourning the loss of his soulmate as well as his child's mother.
Our first piano lesson was going surprisingly well. Jojo had already progressed onto playing with both hands and had managed to play me some simple versions of her original songs.
Caius stood moodily with his arms folded in the corner behind the piano, back against the stone wall, eyes unblinkingly watching over the two of us. He'd refused to leave my side ever since the incident with Sulpicia, despite finding how easy I'd taken her down to be extremely amusing. So much so, he'd accepted Oharu's request without argument to send a letter to her mother.
Our quartet of guards still followed us around too, never allowing us a moment of privacy. So I'd resigned myself to the music room for now, hoping my usual catharsis would suffice in easing the humiliation of being surveilled twenty-four-seven.
Finding someone in a similar situation as I who also had similar interests was fun though. Jojo had so far been content in spending all of her waking moments singing, her siren-like voice somehow giving me the strength to get through this ordeal.
Even Athy seemed to be in higher spirits following their jam session. So much so that I'm sure this effect was one of the reasons that Caius chose to stay with us.
"You're picking this up really quickly, Jojo, I'm impressed," I enthused as she finished playing the étude I'd taught her. She blushed slightly, looking down in embarrassment.
"Luíseach, you don't have to be so kind. If I didn't have perfect pitch, I'd be useless," she laughed.
"Don't be so silly. Even perfect pitch is a gift in itself, I can't bear to see you let it go to waste by trying to die a hero," I said, still unconvinced that she was doing the right thing by sacrificing her future. Her blind willingness to gamble with her chances of survival rubbed me the wrong way, knowing how things had turned out for Zala.
"How many times do I have to say that I don't care about that. Humans with far more useful skills than me die everyday without recognition. Besides, I made a promise to Marcus," she said, gazing longingly over to the wooden doors.
Marcus was currently running a few errands, including getting some blood for the both of us. Over the past couple of days, I'd begun to notice the gradual increase in thirst. That, coupled with the microscopic bump that had begun to grow, was confirmation of my pregnancy, but Aro was still adamant for now of waiting for a week or two 'just in case'.
On the contrary, Jojo had taken to her burden a little more positively. It was unavoidable to notice that both her and Marcus had an unhealthy dependency on each other. Every moment Marcus was absent from her side, Jojo would become anxious until he returned. Marcus was exactly the same, but sometimes he tended to act as though Jojo was a reincarnation of his deceased mate Didyme.
But the mention of a promise made me wonder just how superficial and co-dependant their bond truly was. After all, Marcus could see something that we could not with regards to such matters.
"You keep mentioning this promise, but are you ever going to tell me what it is? How do you even know you can trust a vampire enough to believe that he'll fulfill his side of the deal?" I asked, trying to place the seeds of doubt. I could not bear to witness another human 'friend' fall victim to such a fate.
Jojo didn't answer for a few seconds, taking the time to gather her thoughts.
"You're right, there's no way I know whether I can trust him. But I can't deny that he hasn't helped me out as much as he could. He let me say goodbye to my family and make up some silly story about moving abroad. He let me call my agent to sort out all my affairs. He didn't even promise that I'd survive. But he did promise to help make sure I achieved my dream, and that's enough for me to keep my promise to him," she said, smiling again, the hint of a tear appearing in the corner of her eyes.
I dared not pry any more. I didn't want to push her away considering she was the only other person who could truly empathise with my situation. As much as I wanted to know what Jojo had promised Marcus in turn, I decided it was best to return to our lesson.
"Marcus, do you have a minute?" I asked cautiously, knocking on his door. I heard a sigh from within and took this as a 'yes'.
I entered quietly, not wanting to disturb the baby who was sleeping peacefully in the arms of his father. Marcus was sitting in a red velvet armchair, but wore an expression of extreme discomfort, as if holding a baby was the least natural thing he could do.
"What is it that you came for, Luíseach? Surely you're due within the next two days," he said, eyes flickering momentarily from my face to my bump which had become impossible to conceal over the past week.
"A day and a half actually. It seems these hybrids keep to a very precise time constraint. It's been exactly a month for everyone so far," I sighed, aware of exactly how slowly time had been passing as of late (absolutely no connection with wanting Aro's demon child out of me as soon as possible).
"You should really go and see her, you know, it'll put your mind at ease, it's nearly been two days," I suggested, knowing he was craving Jojo's reassurance now more than ever. "How's he doing anyway?"
"All because of that stupid promise I made her make, I've cursed yet another soul to this life of murder," he muttered in response, looking down at his son - the spitting image his father, yet his caramel complexion and curly hair, he no doubt inherited from his mother.
"I prefer not to look at it like that. You've given someone the gift of immortality, the chance to bear witness to history and the future," I said, "besides, he'll be able to survive on human food should he choose to."
Marcus smiled uncomfortably, his anxieties preventing him from fully expressing any happiness.
"I don't know how much you know of the Cullens," he began.
"The coven who humiliated us last winter? The one with the hybrid child?"
"The very same."
"What of them?" I asked.
"They live only off the blood of animals. Carnivores mainly, but they are able to get by just as well as us. I've been thinking of trying it out. To put an end to this cycle of murder. After all, what right do we have to take the lives of those from whom we came?"
I was taken aback for a moment. Athy, Oktai and I had fed from animals such as wolves or bears every now and again over the years if the human population was scarce, but it had weakened us considerably whenever we'd resorted to it. I'd never considered it as a complete alternative before.
"Interesting… I'd say go for it if you want. Especially if it puts your mind at ease. I know things have never been the same since-"
"-Don't!" he interrupted, "please don't mention her name. I've betrayed her memory enough as it is," he whispered, as if Didyme was in the room now, listening in.
"Then why were you so adamant of keeping Jojo alive afterwards? If she makes you ashamed of betraying your mate, why fight this hard to keep her alive, why make her promise-"
"-Because my son deserves at least one competent parent! He doesn't need a monster like me to be his role model! Jolasun has been the only positive thing to happen to me since Didyme was still alive! You don't know how many times I've wanted to burn, just so I could be reunited with her again! Do you think my son deserves someone like that to be the person to guide him? I've stood by and endorsed the murders of hundreds of thousands of humans, not to mention thousands of our kind and not had the will to do anything about it! I'm truly a demon!" he shouted, waking his son.
I silently walked over to him and took the baby, shushing him gently.
"I'm sorry," he stuttered, hanging his head in shame.
"Marcus, there's nothing to be sorry for. You're hardly a monster. Since when did monsters care about how others saw them? Since when did monsters feel ashamed of killing? The fact you still care about the value of life shows that you're better than that. Besides, no one is perfect. We've all done bad shit, humans included. In fact, there have to be humans who have killed more than you, and they don't even need to do that to survive! As long as you can change your future, you can become the role model you want your son to have. Let him be your reason to go on. If he is destined to live, then you must be too," I said, hoping I could talk him out of his downward spiral.
"I'm trying Luíseach. I wish I could be free of my grief, but it torments me as if it happened only yesterday," he mumbled.
"And it probably always will. But for the sake of your child, please don't allow it to cloud your perceptions. You don't need to feel guilty for feeling. You'll be an excellent father, miles better than Aro, that's for sure. If you can't believe yourself, then believe me," I said, passing his baby back to him.
Marcus said nothing as I made my way back to the door. I'd gone too long without having some blood, so my energy levels were dropping off the chart. As I shut the door, I made one last plea to Marcus.
"Please go and see her, you know she'd appreciate it."
For a moment, a weak smile threatened to appear upon his lips, but I shut the door and let him sit in peace for a while. I really hoped that this would be the turning point for him. Hopefully we'd get to see more of the shy, but energised Marcus who'd been around for the last month, from now on, but it would surely be a long and unsteady path.
"Have you decided what you're going to call your baby yet?" Jojo asked, out of the blue, causing Marcus to start pretending to dust the old harp on the opposite side of the room, and Caius to tutt in annoyance.
"No, I've not really wanted to think about that yet. Though I'm sure that Aro would prefer to choose the name," I said, gritting my teeth. This week marked the beginning of the final quarter of my month sentence and I'd started to become more aware of my body's changes. Frustratingly, I couldn't even change my eye colour anymore, so they remained a constant crimson. But most noticeably, I'd begun feeling the child inside of me moving about a bit more, each kick reminding me that I'd had to be intimate with Aro. The one positive was Caius and our new found 'freedom'. We no longer had to be supervised, and were allowed to be alone in each other's company.
"What about you two? Come up with anything interesting?" I asked.
"Considering there's no way for us to tell if it's a boy or a girl, we agreed on a couple of options. If it's a girl, then Didyme, after Marcus's wife, and if it's a boy, I chose the name Nwaekerendu, or Erendu for short."
"Not bad, at least one of us is organised," I smiled.
"Haha! I think that's a first for me, not gonna lie. I've never had my shit together more than now!" Jojo laughed. "Why don't you name the child after your parents? I know they meant a lot to you," she suggested. During our time together, the woman had somehow coerced me into telling her my whole life story. While this was a positive thing in terms of our mutual understanding of one another, it made me swallow some bitter pills, like how I'd let history repeat itself with regards to being used. Would I really be happy naming a baby I'd been forced to conceive after my loved ones - tempting their spirit to find another life within a child I'd never wanted? I was sure she could sense my discomfort during my anecdote and thankfully, she didn't say anything more about it, but something about her made me confide in her.
Once again, I'd found myself entranced by human nature and I swore this time that I'd ensure she survived - that she'd be able to live on for the sake of her child and her ambition.
It was thirty hours on the dot after my conversation with Marcus when Aro decided to make an appearance. Thankfully, he'd avoided me as much as possible during the month, instead sending others like Corin or Heidi in his place to check up on me. But the time was nigh for my second child to be born into this world. No matter how much I'd never wanted this to become a reality and no matter how much I hated Aro, I wanted to be there for my little cuckoo, to give them a life outside of being used as a weapon.
Athanasia, Oktai and Caius had been at my side the whole day and Marcus had even brought Erendu around earlier. He, as well as Theo, had also turned out to be venomous (which caused Athy to have another silent tantrum where she crossed her arms and refused to speak to anyone for two hours).
I hadn't told anyone about my chat with Marcus, knowing that everyone had a silent understanding of his mental state, but did not want to speak about it behind his back. However, he seemed to be a little more cheery today and a little less afraid of being a parent.
Caius had taken Aro aside as soon as he'd entered, expressing his desire to be the one to deliver the baby. He didn't trust Aro not to 'mutilate me any further'. However, he only laughed, citing the clause in the contract word-for-word which stated that Aro had to be the one.
That definitely set the tone for the next six painful hours. Although I'd tried to lift Athy's spirits by highlighting the fact she'd have a new sibling, she was a lot less enthusiastic about this delivery than she had been about both Theo or Erendu.
We all used the time to complete a considerable amount of reading, whilst trying to see how much we could all communicate (excluding Aro and Renata) silently through facial expressions and secret glances alone. It turns out not much.
And then I felt the biting begin… Memories of the frozen midwinter tundra, Zala's pale, dead, bloodless body, Jojo lying motionless on her bed flashed before my eyes, a mixture of blood, fear, grief accompanying them.
"I don't want to die. I'm not ready for this! But I still don't know if I even want immortality. I wish I could make my fucking mind up," Jojo lamented, tears beginning to fall to the floor as her breathing became laboured and heavy. "Either way, I promised Marcus that I would stay alive long enough for him to keep his promise and I'll fight to keep to my word. I'd quite like to be a mother," she smiled solemnly, laughing to try and counter the panic.
I'd never seen her confidence fade until now. But how could I blame her? She was less than a day away from either dying or gaining immortality.
She threw herself into my arms, hugging me as tightly as her human strength would allow her. I held her back and did not let go of her hand until it went limp in my own, her duty to the coven fulfilled.
Her child was truly destined to live, but Jojo's fate was still unclear.
Unclear until her faint heartbeat continued to pump Marcus' venom throughout her body. Unclear until the rays of sunlight penetrating the window refracted off her skin in a spectacular prism of colours.
The pain was over and my body's healing had finally kicked in. The scene had been less of a bloodbath than Erendu's birth.
Aro was closely inspecting our baby, impatiently awaiting some sign of the god-like powers he'd so eagerly awaited, but to no avail yet.
From my bed, I could see a pair of large dark brown eyes staring out from beneath the cocoon of towels and I couldn't believe that I'd ever considered this peculiar creature a demon.
"Aro, may I hold my baby?" I asked, shuffling up the bed to a more accommodating position to nurse it.
"Certainly," he answered with a grin. "Her name shall be Pandora, but you may choose a second name if you wish," he added, handing the bundle of towels and blankets to me.
Pandora was a little smaller than Athanasia had been. She didn't have as much hair either, though the little tufts that sprung from the top of her head were the same midnight black as mine and Aro's.
Her eyes too must have been from him. My human memories may have been cloudy and unclear, but no one in my family had possessed eyes as dark as hers. But they suited her.
Although I was hesitant at first, the same wave of maternal emotion swept over me as it had done years before with Athy, though I dared not tell her right now. However, my hatred for Aro remained as concrete as it had before.
Thanks for reading! The next chapter will be up as usual next weekend, feel free to leave a review.