A/N: Hello everyone! Basically, this chapter is combining the finale of season three and the beginning of season four. It was an intense cliffhanger, and as this fanfic kinda delves into the unknown thoughts of Hotch and Prentiss, I've incorporated some important scenes and dialogue. It is by far the longest chapter to date, but I really enjoyed figuring out their thoughts. I'll discuss more at the end of the chapter but hope you guys enjoy it. Please review!
Sighing, Emily gazed sadly into her drink, "with our career, we have no choice but to gamble with death."
Early June 2008
Not often did cases 'stump' Hotch, and this one could easily fit in the top five.
Random, highly organised shootings…
No victimology pattern…
Murders in different neighbourhoods…
Two unsubs…
The puzzle pieces were all in plain sight, but they didn't click into place.
The behaviour Hotch had observed contradicted itself repeatedly. With hardly anyone present to witness the murders or even hear the gunshots, all the team had to work with was footage from security cameras. And even then, these unsubs were incredibly street smart- hiding their faces from the camera and wearing dark clothes.
Heck, the most recent murder earlier in the day happened within a blink.
Without having a solid profile and an idea of the sort of motive these unsubs were after, a challenging journey lay ahead of them. Unfortunately, more innocent people would die before they cracked the code.
Frankly, it had Hotch in quite a foul mood- one that wouldn't leave even with a good night's sleep.
"Look at this… Latest edition doesn't miss a beat," Prentiss stated, grabbing a newspaper from the entrance to the hotel. JJ, Spencer and Hotch crowded behind the brunette to catch a brief glance at the article.
Hotch's passionate dislike for the media grew stronger every day. It hadn't even been six hours since that poor person lost their life, and some crude journalist dared to print the murder scene all over the city.
"JJ," Spencer interrupted, nodding towards the side of the building. Hotch followed Reid's gaze, pleasantly surprised to see none other than JJ's boyfriend sitting in the hotel lobby.
"Will."
The man stood up as the team walked towards him, "took a shot and flew to D.C., but that didn't work out. I figured a train ride to New York was only a few more hours."
"Detective," Hotch acknowledged, shaking the man's hand.
"I'm sorry for showing up like this. I know you're working. But um…" He paused for a moment, facing JJ. "I can't stand you working this case, and me not being there. Not with what's going on."
A moment of silence passed as JJ ever so slightly shook her head, and the alarm bells in Hotch's head started blaring. What did the detective mean by 'with what's going on'? His brain was already so flummoxed by this case, and Aaron didn't need to be worrying about something wrong with JJ.
"Is there a problem?" Hotch asked, genuinely concerned.
He watched the blonde's behaviour ever so carefully, noticing her hesitation. However, she couldn't help but break into a joyous smile as she turned around, whispering two words he was not expecting to hear.
"I'm pregnant."
Hotch's brain lost connectivity with the rest of his body.
Emily, on the other hand, almost screamed in delight at the news. "OH MY GOD, JJ, congratulations!"
While she pulled the blonde in for a hug, Aaron managed to regain some sense of composure and shook Will's hand once again.
"I've asked JJ to marry me."
"Will." JJ reprimanded.
"We're uh… Working out some kinks."
Desperately needing some time to himself to process the news, Hotch tried to be polite, "We'll uh… Give you both some privacy." He raced away from the group, but not far enough before JJ called his name.
"Hotch-"
"JJ, you could have told me." He said sadly, turning around with a little smile.
"I know."
"I understand if you wanna take some time."
"No… I… I wanna be here."
He nodded ever so slightly, still too in shock to even comprehend his thoughts.
"Okay… 7am."
And with that, Hotch disappeared down the lobby, followed shortly by Reid and Prentiss.
"OHHH, wait until Garcia finds out. She's gonna be pissed." The brunette said, sucking in air through her teeth. Poor Penelope was always the last person to know.
"Yeah. I bet you $100 she cries."
He stood in the back corner as the doors closed, smiling to himself in delight while Reid and Prentiss passionately tossed around bets.
JJ was going to be a mother.
The blonde's behaviour over the last few weeks had seemed a little out of the ordinary, but Aaron hadn't questioned it. They all developed some quirky habits every now and then, and it was a given rule to not make a big deal out of it. Now though, the little quiet moments she took, the lack of caffeine, and countless other quirks she'd developed made sense.
But still, her taking this case and not telling him the truth of her circumstances felt like a kick in the gut. Hotch knew that pregnancy was a sensitive topic and completely understood why JJ wouldn't have told him sooner, but he hated to delve into scenarios where he inadvertently put her in harm's way without knowing. He couldn't imagine the guilt he'd feel if the blonde or her child got hurt.
Thankfully though, nothing as tragic as that had happened yet.
And he would do everything in his power for it to stay that way.
JJ's joyous news two nights prior was the only thing that had Emily smiling. It would be an understatement to suggest that this case was one of the most confusing she'd ever worked, and it had just gotten more complicated.
Having one unsub to profile was a challenge in itself. Two unsubs were easier to profile in Emily's opinion, as a pair could only fit so many relationship types. But to have at least three different murderers working together or perhaps more… That went past the realms of what she'd been taught at College.
Not to mention, it was scarce in nature to have so many people killing with the same motive- at least when you excluded the concept of war.
Tensions had been running sky-high back at the field office. Firstly, witnessing another two murders on camera and not being able to do anything had severely upset the team.
There'd been 7 altogether now.
And then, Morgan and Hotch butting heads with one another over that Agent Joyner chick and her decisions. Never in her life had she seen the two alpha males of the team so flustered.
Emily didn't necessarily agree with the woman's way of running things either, but she knew that this chick was uptight and hadn't looked as if she'd slept in days- Much like Hotch she'd concluded. And the last thing anybody needed was more commotion.
As she thought about SSA Kate Joyner- who coincidently looked almost identical to Haley- Emily couldn't help but wonder about the history between the woman and Hotch. After all, it was rare to see her superior call another agent by their first name- let alone a woman. Emily wanted to turn a blind eye to the quiet looks the two had been giving each other, not to mention, the subtle flirting.
They 'Liaised Together' her ass. With the excessive amount of time they had spent together since arriving, even non-profilers could see the sexual tension in plain sight; Hotch had been practically glued to the woman's hip since the moment they arrived.
But while Emily had burning questions, her attention needed to stay focused on this case.
It was exhausting work, and after discovering multiple unsubs were at play, their profile was practically null and void, and they were back to square one.
As cringy as Morgan's argument with Hotch was, Agent Joyner had finally come to her senses and tasked them all to patrol parts of Manhattan in the hopes that being undercover would allow them to notice any strange behaviour- particularly on the subways. Emily happened to be partnered up with Detective Cooper.
All she could profile so far though, was that New Yorkers really liked their street food.
"You guys actually eat those pretzel things covered in greasy fats and cheese?" Emily asked Cooper as she watched a guy down the other end of the subway devouring said item.
"Have you ever actually tried one?"
Emily scoffed, "what can I say? They don't look appetising at all. I've seen about a dozen people eat them in the last 20 minutes and all they're getting is a mouthful of oil."
"Not just oil… Mozzarella goodness stuffed with garlic."
"I think I'll stick to salad." She muttered while they stepped off the train.
"So, uh… We're undercover, maybe we should uh… You know, act like a couple." Cooper suggested, causing Emily to chuckle.
What did he want them to do? Hold hands?
No way that was ever gonna happen…
She'd worked with many male detectives throughout the country, but none of them were as charming and upfront as Cooper. After dating so many men, and of course, having a keen eye for behaviour, she could see right through their lies as if they were glass. "Are you still working this entire sexual tension angle?"
"You're the fortune teller, you tell me."
"You wanna know what profiling is, really?"
"Why do I get the feeling I'm going hear no matter what I say?"
"It's just noticing behaviour."
"I'm about to hear about mine, is that the deal?" Cooper stated, turning to face the brunette. She couldn't understand why this guy was so insistent about being profiled, but the man had said it himself; He was a sceptic when it came to this sort of thing.
What was the harm in mentioning a few truths, anyway?
"Okay." She said simply with a pursed smile. "When we first met, when your partner was sarcastic and said yes ma'am, you instinctively reached for your detective shield as if you were protecting it. That tells me you don't like him disrespecting the chain of command. But you're also loyal, so you didn't say something to him."
The gears were obviously starting to turn, but she kept going. "I'd say you were military, probably an officer. Praise in public, censure in private right?"
Okay… Now the guy was blushing.
"You're right-handed, but you have two different coloured pen marks on your left hand. I'd guess you have a toddler at home, just learning how to draw… You don't wear a ring. And you were quick to flirt with me. So, you're happy to let people think you are a player." Emily said, with a hint of sarcasm, "but if I took you up on it, you'd run for the hills. Because you love your wife and you'd never actually cheat on her."
Cooper stood there with a cheeky, but embarrassed smirk. It was a look Emily had accustomed to when potential suitors asked for their profile.
Not often though did she profile a cop.
"Wow…" He said nodding. "We might just solve this case yet."
The brunette continued in her tracks towards the exit, and it took all her strength to not crack up laughing while Cooper stood in the same spot- still processing her monologue.
Damn right, they were going to solve this case.
"What exactly am I looking out for?" Kate Joyner asked Hotch as they stood off to the side outside a busy subway station.
"Dark clothing, quiet and submissive behaviour. Observe the crowds," Aaron said, as he brushed his chin and cautiously glanced at the waves of civilians entering and exiting the subway. "They are going to try and blend in as much as possible. They won't be isolated."
"Well, that's easy for you to say. Half these people walking past fit that exact description."
Her British accent held a familiar tone of frustration to it, and Hotch immediately flashed back to a stakeout with the woman years ago at Scotland Yard. "Nothing has changed much with you, Kate, has it?"
The same voice, same hair, same personality.
"If you're talking about my impatience waiting for people to show up, then you must be correct. You know… After you and I liaised on that Thames case, I tried profiling; it just didn't work out."
"Right, because you always preferred micro-managing the entire headquarters."
A smirk escaped her lips.
"Sometimes, I think I can be too controlling." She admitted, tucking a blonde lock behind her ear. "That's probably why they want me out of the office and Derek Morgan in."
Hotch glanced over at the woman for a moment, "sometimes, being too controlling is better than not being in control at all."
Kate sighed, "oh, just admit it, Aaron. Agent Morgan was right, and I was wrong. It was a stupid tactical decision that backfired, and someone had to die because of it."
"And I said last night that second-guessing our decisions wasn't going to get us anywhere." Hotch paused for a second, keeping his eye on a man down the street before averting his attention back to the woman. "Look…I know that you're exhausted by this case, and anxious about the future of your job, but you're doing all the right things, and we'll catch these guys. I promise."
She visibly gulped, letting her eyes scan the population for a mere second, "I can believe that. Your team… Well, I've worked with brilliant people before, but you all have a great system going."
"We are good at what we do," Hotch reassured.
Before he could say anything else, commotion ensued over his ear bug- more specifically Prentiss explaining that Detective Cooper had been shot and desperately needed a medic.
"We need to head east, NOW."
Shooting one of their own took this to a whole new level.
A moment of happiness could instantly turn into life or death.
And as Emily worriedly glanced to the top of the hospital building, watching its golden lights sparkle against the dark night sky, she gulped in fear.
Cooper had been in surgery for over two hours going on three, and within that time, they'd established that this wasn't just some ordinary case…
It was terrorism.
Their profile had changed entirely, and not only were the team trying to predict these unsub's next moves, but there was also the question of what these madmen were capable of? They'd already proved they had no fear in shooting up cops and random civilians: no empathy, no remorse, and no mercy.
They were the devil's advocates in disguise.
And it terrified Emily.
An icy shiver crawled down her spine as she got into the SUV. The only reason why she wasn't on the operating table right now receiving major heart surgery was because Cooper sprinted off two seconds before her. In the short time Emily had spent with the man, she'd grown to love his sense of humour and character.
He was a decent guy…And didn't deserve this.
One question that always crossed her mind when somebody got hurt was why? What motivated people to inflict so much panic and pain, and WHY was it necessary? What pleasure did they gain by ruining somebody else's life?
No matter how long she lived, they would be questions she'd never know the answers to.
Figuring that she needed to update the rest of the team on Cooper's condition, she clipped a hand free cell phone to her ear and dialled JJ's number. It rung for ages, and in the end, the woman didn't end up answering her cell.
"That's weird."
It was unlike the blonde to answer her cell, but with all the media attention and connections she had as a liaison, she was likely just in another phone call.
But, no… She was headed back to the hotel to see Will, wasn't she?
Emily tried Garcia, and when the call went straight to voicemail, Emily's anxiety rose from fifty to over one hundred within a matter of seconds.
Garcia always answered, no matter what.
What the hell was going on?
It wasn't often that the brunette listened to the radio in the car, but upon turning up the volume and hearing news of a large explosion near the Federal Plaza, adrenaline surged through her. After the events earlier in the day, there was no way this wasn't connected to the murders.
Through her panic, Emily tried remembering where everybody said they were going before they went their separate ways, but her thoughts were racing, and she was flustered and confused. The best thing she could do right now was to keep trying to call everybody else on the team.
Her stomach sunk as Garcia called back moments later, "IS EVERYBODY OKAY?"
"I've spoken to Reid and Rossi, and Morgan's on the line," Penelope clarified.
"Emily, where are you?" Morgan asked. After explaining that she was following Detective Brustin back to a critical command centre, her mind wandered to the others.
"Has anyone heard from JJ?" The tech analyst asked.
"She was headed back to the hotel."
"In an SUV?"
Emily paused for a second, rummaging through her memory. "I think so."
After Penelope dialled JJ's number and it went straight to voicemail, the brunette bit on the inside of her cheek. God… This was a nightmare. If JJ had gotten caught up in the explosion and got injured, Emily might as well quit her job. But she had to stay hopeful.
"Try her again, she's probably back at the command centre.… Penelope? Morgan?"
Grasping the wheel tightly, Emily tried to stay calm. They still hadn't even contacted Hotch to check he was okay.
Oh, God… What if something awful had happened to him? All of a sudden, her brain started making up horrific scenarios of Hotch being blown to smithereens and lying unconscious on the ground. The thought of losing someone she had intense feelings for…It might just break her.
Emily needed to stop jumping to conclusions. He was most likely okay, but there was every possibility the man could have been seriously injured and with the strange events occurring over the past few days… She just didn't have a great feeling about it.
A fiery hell surrounded him.
Hot, rustling papers swirled around on the sidewalk. Billowing flames and smoke rose high into the air, poisoning the peaceful night sky. Shattered glass and large shards of shrapnel embedded into concrete like shovels in mud. And lakes of crimson trailed across the centre of the street, with dim lights rippling through them.
Sirens, alarms, and helicopters surrounded them and seemed to get louder by the second as if four walls and a ceiling were closing in.
His ankle stung, like two people had simultaneously pulled and yanked it in two different directions. And a high-pitched yaw screeched in his right ear every few minutes, killing his inner eardrum and mumbling the rest of the world into a faraway realm.
Exhaustion burdened him, but he had to keep fighting.
For this case.
For Kate.
His eyes widened at the monstrous mess of sticky blood, skin and tissue smeared in places nobody should ever see. It was as if a horror movie had become a reality. Pinching the woman's bleeding artery in her back for dear life, Hotch tried quieting her rising panic, "please Kate… Just hang in there. You're gonna be okay."
The woman gasped for her breath and turned her head from side to side, trying to find a comfortable position to rest in on the rock-hard concrete. And as Aaron took another glance at her motionless, twisted legs, he cringed. Even if they did manage to get her to the hospital in time, there was a high chance she would never walk again.
"NO. NO, Kate. Don't fall asleep. Tell me about London. Tell me about your family."
"Wha… What?" She breathed slowly.
"You remember when we went to that drug dealer's apartment and staked out in a car? When we had nothing to do, but just sit and watch, and talk?"
"Oh!" She muttered with a quick burst of energy, "and… And you brought fortune cookies. I got a terrible fortune."
The two fingers clamping her artery were starting to shake from pinching so hard, and tiny trickles of liquid escaped.
"Your fortune said that you shouldn't make extra work for yourself… Isn't that what you've been doing your entire life, Aaron?" Suddenly, she shuddered in pain, and Hotch screamed at the top of his lungs to the paramedics waiting down the end of the street. He didn't know how much longer he could crouch over Kate as she continuously lost rivers of blood.
He was losing her.
"Are they coming, Aaron?"
Hotch glanced down, using his other hand, to brush her blonde strands out of her face, "they will be soon, they have to clear the area for other bombs. Just keep talking to me, okay?"
Kate's eyes started to cloud over like they did only moments ago, and her bloodied grip on his white blouse weakened. "what's going on?" She whispered to him, confused. "Did we catch them?"
"We will, Kate. I promise."
"I'm so… tired…" Hotch tried with all his might to keep the fading woman awake. He gently pinched the tops of her collarbones and kept calling her name, but her eyes didn't open.
All Hotch could do was sit there, soaking in her gallons of blood, and hope for a miracle.
But little did he know that miracle had billowed into the air along with smoke…
A Week Later…
"Hah, you and paperwork make such a great couple," Emily said as the Italian shot her a disdained expression, "I have some more for you."
Laying her freshly printed field report on Rossi's desk, the brunette smiled as the man bowed his head into his hands. "It's times like these where I really appreciate Aaron. If he's not back by Thursday, I'll set all this on fire and chuck it all out that window."
Smirking, Emily took a seat, and then her expression fell dead serious.
"How is he? Really?"
Only once had she called Hotch to ask how he was doing since that tragic evening, and from the short responses and intonation in his voice, Emily had gotten her answer. It broke her heart to hear him sound so incredibly miserable. After everything he'd been through… Hotch just didn't need any more hardship.
Rossi leant back in his chair, fiddling with a pen in his hands. "You know how Hotch is, Emily. He internalises everything. There's nothing any of us can do, except let him ride this out on his own."
Emily bobbed her head from side to side, supposing that Rossi was right. But it felt so wrong to just let him be depressed on his own- even if that's what he preferred. On her darkest days, Hotch was there for her, and she felt this intense and robust need to reciprocate that.
"What was the story between her and Hotch anyway?"
"Ah. The one-million-dollar question everybody has been asking me." The Italian muttered sarcastically.
"Did you know her?"
"Not personally. The papers used to give her grief, though. And with publicity like that, it's hard not to notice someone." He paused for a moment, squinting his eyes. "What's with all the questions?"
"Oh, come on Rossi… You can't deny that something went on between them. I just…" Emily searched for a way to get her point across, "you know what, it's none of my business."
Dave tapped his fingers against the desk. Of course, he'd noticed the tension between Kate Joyner and Aaron, and it had everybody curious. But knowing Hotch, even if there did happen to be the subtlest of flirting from another co-worker, he'd never cross that boundary. If Rossi was correct, when the pair met, Hotch had only just married Haley, and the man was as loyal as you could get.
"I guess we'll never really know the truth, will we?"
Emily contemplated the comment; the truth didn't really matter now that the woman was gone.
As Prentiss stood up and left the room, Rossi took note of the compassion she had for Aaron. And he may or may not have sensed the tiniest hint of jealousy…
After nearly losing Hotch to a bomb, Emily wasn't about to take anything else for granted. It was all fun and games in the beginning to avoid the one person who drives your feelings crazy, but moments of life and death really accentuated how important it was to appreciate friends and family. And with this job, anybody could perish at any given second.
Emily hated to admit it, but she actually missed the guy.
His dry sense of humour… The coffee breaks… Even the slight creases in his forehead.
Hotch was due to return back to duty within the next few days depending on the results of his CAT Scan, and the brunette hoped he'd been following the doctor's orders and resting. But he'd been grieving Kate's death on top of all that as well, and she felt terrible not being able to say or do anything to help cheer him up.
Hotch's misery had become the new normal, and Emily was determined to change that.
So, on her way home, the woman had picked up a bottle of whiskey- she'd noticed Rossi and Hotch sharing a few drinks late one night- and now she stood in front of his apartment door with her nerves bundling together like flowers in a vase.
Having visitors was the last thing Hotch wanted on a gloomy Tuesday afternoon. He hoped it wasn't Haley; Aaron hadn't the energy to deal with more court orders or custody papers. But as he glanced through the peephole, he felt blood rushing to his cheeks.
"Prentiss?" As he swung the door open, Hotch took note of her gentle smile. Of all people he expected to show up, Emily was right at the bottom of his list.
And did she have… A bottle of whiskey in her hand?
"Hey," She said with a little croak, "I know this might seem a little impulsive, but… Can I come in?"
Before he had a chance to respond, Hotch felt a light tug at his leg.
Jack.
Upon seeing a little body hiding behind Hotch, Emily felt a combination of embarrassment and awe. God… Why didn't she either text or call him before coming over? She hadn't even considered the fact Hotch could have had Jack. "Oh, Hotch… I'm sorry, I didn't even realise- "
"No, it's okay," Hotch said, ruffling his son's hair. "Come in."
She'd made an effort to drive all this way to check up on him, and it would seem incredibly rude to shoo her away. Besides… There was hardly anybody he knew at Kate's funeral, and the whole ordeal had him feeling quite lonely. It had just been a crap week in general.
But it felt so good to see Emily.
"Are… Are you sure? Honestly, I can just go," she said, pointing back to the elevator.
Hotch nodded his head and stood to the side, allowing Emily room to walk through the door. Now she felt like the worst person in the world, unintentionally intruding on the little time the man had with his son.
A soft smile appeared though as she glanced down at the little boy peeking his head out from behind his dad's legs. He had such wide and inquisitive hazel eyes identical to Haley's, and those cheeks… Oh lord, they were soooo chubby.
"Jack," Hotch called softly, caressing his son's light blonde hair, "he's usually a bit shy when meeting new people."
"He's adorable."
"I want you to meet someone." Hotch crouched down, wrapping an arm around little Jack as his shy gaze fixated on the brunette. "This is Daddy's friend, Emily. Can you say hi?"
Emily placed the whiskey out of reach on a nearby side table and knelt down to Jack's level with a smile, "Hi sweetie. It's nice to meet you."
After taking in her appearance for a few more seconds, Jack quickly waved before burying himself into Hotch's shirt, causing both agents to chuckle.
"You wanna go play with your toys, don't you?" Jack nodded and ran back to in front of the television where he sat down and continued playing with his blocks as if nothing had happened.
"I'm sorry I barged in like this."
"It's fine."
Emily followed the man into the kitchen, taking a seat at one of the stools while he grabbed two small glasses. "Are you okay?"
Hotch took the whiskey bottle and gently poured it into the glasses, letting the sloshing of the liquid fill the silence between them. He really didn't feel like talking about the funeral or anything concerning Kate.
He just needed a distraction that took his mind off the incident altogether.
"As good as I can be." The whiskey burnt his throat, but it was precisely the medicine he craved. "I miss anything?"
After the events in New York, Strauss had ordered Hotch to take at least two weeks off, but he'd managed to negotiate it to a minimum of one week. Hotch knew that Rossi was more than capable of taking care of the extra workload as acting unit chief, but still… It bugged him not being in control of it all.
With nothing to profile for the last week, the man was like a lost puppy.
"Only Reid and Morgan arguing about astronomical references from Star Wars the entire flight home," Emily said, rolling her eyes. It was times like that where she wished she had hearing aids and could simply tune people out. Hotch cracked a tiny smile. "The case was long… Three bodies within one week, with a shorter and shorter cooldown period. He was sloppy and impulsive. Inexperienced. It didn't take long to track him down."
"And Rossi? How's he holding up?"
The brunette chuckled, "oh right now, probably wishing he was anywhere but his office."
It relieved Emily to see her comment evoke the tiniest of smiles from Hotch.
"You haven't missed anything. Honestly."
Her attention fell to Jack, who happened to be babbling away to himself in the other room. The little guy was soooo incredibly adorable.
Aaron followed her gaze. "Haley's working full time now. No point in him staying with her sister when I'm not at the unit."
"How long do you have him for?"
"Until I'm cleared to come back." A heavy silence fell between them as Emily twirled her glass and Hotch stared into his drink. "You didn't have to do this you know…"
"It's the least I can do," Emily said, shrugging. As she looked up and met his gaze, a swirl of fuzziness invaded her body. His usually cold hazel eyes instead radiated an aura of sad warmth and tranquillity; something she rarely witnessed. "I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but… For the record, I'm sorry about what happened."
Hotch sucked in his bottom lip slightly as his eyes wandered to the countertop. Kate had her whole life ahead of her, a partner, children, retirement. But another thing Hotch had been thinking about was how lucky he was to be alive.
It could just as easily been him bleeding to death. And the mere thought of leaving everybody that way, of leaving his son… It sent chills down his spine.
What would Jack remember of him had worst come to worst? How would the poor guy cope without a father around? They were questions that had been haunting Hotch's dreams all week, and there seemed to be no way of ridding them.
Yes… Hotch's life mattered to him, but Jack's would always matter more.
"I keep asking myself why I'm still alive… Kate…She shouldn't have had to die. Not like that."
Sighing, Emily gazed sadly into her drink, "with our career, we have no choice but to gamble with death. Kate knew the risks as well as we do."
Aaron shook his head, "Maybe the job isn't worth it. If I happened to die…" Visibly gulping, he glanced over at his son.
Hotch didn't need to complete the sentence for Emily to know what he was talking about, and his pained expression had her heart aching. It wasn't until now that the woman realised the extent of his vulnerability. Letting him quit over this? She wouldn't let that happen. This job gave him a sense of purpose and fulfilment, but his own grief blinded him from seeing that.
"Hotch…" Emily said, concerned, looking at the scratches on his face, "what would the world be like if nobody could be saved? People need us. When they're at their lowest, we are their only sources of hope for making things better."
"Jack needs me too."
Emily nodded, pursing her lips together. "A year ago, you came to my apartment asking me to come with you to Milwaukee for one last case. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be sitting here right now." Memories of that case came flooding back to her in tidal waves. "All I'm asking you is to give yourself another chance. She died… But that doesn't mean your career is over."
He stood silently for what felt like hours, deep in intense thought. God… He really missed Kate. But Prentiss was right. He couldn't give up this easily. That's not what Kate would have wanted.
"Okay."
Gulping, Emily couldn't help but stare at her superior with a sad smile.
Hotch and Joyner had an obvious spark that may or may not have crossed the line… But Emily couldn't bring herself to ask him about it.
Some things were better left unsaid.
A/N: Okay. The first question I wanna ask is do you guys think Hotch and Kate had a little fling? It was definitely implied in the episodes and her death obviously affected Hotch greatly, which is what I wanted to convey throughout this chapter.
I also wanted to include Hotch finding out about JJ's pregnancy because the two of them have a great relationship, and it greatly changes the team's dynamic from here on out.
As for Emily, I feel like this incident really has her concerned for Hotch and it would seem understandable for him to have some doubt about his career.
Anyways... This is getting long. Hope you guys enjoyed that. Please Review, I love reading your thoughts and comments. And thanks again!