XXXIV. LIMBO

Great grief seized on my heart when this I heard,
Because some people of much worthiness
I knew, who in that Limbo were suspended.

Hesson Adair Svárovský. 18.
District One Male.
The Cornucopia. 12:35.

"Meridian, I lie—" A cannon fires, and Hesson knows it's too late, "I lied…"

And his back gives out, his back gives out and Hesson hunches over, his hands sweaty on his knees, as he cleans the cuts on his wrists, and next thing he knows, a small tear wells up in his eye and he has to blink twice to stop it because he'll be damned if he cries. So he won't. He won't cry because he knows his family is at home, begrudgingly watching the Games and rubbing Alaban's hand, whispering into his ear, "That should be you," whenever Hesson appears.

He doesn't know it but with everything he does, Hesson is subconsciously doing his best to impress them, prove to his parents, to Alaban that he has every right to be in the arena. He has every right to be standing on the ground, blood on his ankles from the kid he decapitated (and admittedly enjoyed decapitating —it put on a show for his parents). Hesson Adair Svárovský was meant to be there. I am, he'd constantly reassure himself of it.

(I don't have the right to cry and I'm only here because I lied)

Hesson had always known that he lied, but what he didn't know was that his lies would hurt somebody besides that bitch Alaban who deserved it. He didn't know that his lies would bring him a friendship, a friendship built with false bricks. And then they'd all come tumbling down faster than his life changed when he slipped the needles into Alaban's bag. He'd never be able to fix it, yet at the time he had no idea that would be the outcome.

He thought the Games would be simple (so naive of him), they'd be easy (lord, so fucking naive of him), and the last thing he thought was that he'd indirectly hurt somebody and as a result hurt himself. Hesson didn't think he'd be looking down at the corpse of one of his allies in front of a pedestal, her body bruised and beaten to a pulp (to nothing) with pain in his heart as he actively sniffed back tears so he wouldn't make a fool out of himself on national television.

(And yes, Meridian's body is truly horrific. Her neck's torn open and her eyes are white and rolled back into her skull. Her jaw's busted, several of her teeth on the ground, a pool of blood behind her head, bruises everywhere he looked. Veins are hung outside of the wound in her throat too. The same sort he left unattended to on the boy from Eight, yet he didn't think it was that bad then. He didn't think anything would be genuinely jarring until he saw Meridian dead, the life genuinely knocked out of her like it was nothing, like she was nothing. She had so much to prove, in the end, she didn't. And he could've figured out some way to protect her but he didn't. And now she's gone and she knows him as the furthest thing possible to who he is. She never really knew him, and now she's bruised and beaten to nothing).

Yet the girl from Eleven is standing over Meridian's remains, a smirk on her face as she gestures to her partner, "Let's bounce."

And the boy is nervous for a second, he's nervous for a second, and then he asks her, "Shouldn't we kill One?"

Hesson looks down at the ground, preparing to grab his sword, when the Eleven girl speaks, "No need. He's not worth our time, at least not right now."

All Hesson can do is stare at them and try to ignore her when she says, "We'll be back for you soon though, so don't be too worried." She swigs her hips and turns around at Hesson one last time, "Sleep with one eye open, angel boy."

Hesson had always told himself he's incapable of having nerves. That he's fearless, that he can do anything his heart desires, and do it with a smile on his face because Hesson is brave, even when everyone tells him that he isn't that he's a failure. He's told he's worthless and while he's tried to find worth in himself, he no longer can because Meridian died along with Hesson's truth (his lies), and he's now made two enemies.

He wants to chase them, yet they're gone before he can move, headed south with their heads held high like they're somehow proud of what they did to Meridian and inadvertently did to him. And it would be dumb for him to try too hard to find them since it's two of them and one of him, but he's afraid. Hesson knows they'll somehow find him again, that this is just intermission and not the end of their fighting.

All he can do is find the rest of the Pack and make sure District Eleven is dead.

(He's never wished death on somebody. Even on those nights where he'd stay up late and joke about how he wished Alaban was dead since it would make his whole life easier, Hesson didn't mean it actually.)

But District Eleven? Hesson's more than certain that he wants them out of the word as swiftly as possible. He wonders why the girl insisted they leave Hesson alone when they could have easily killed her, but maybe this is worse. Maybe it's worse than Hesson's got them in his head and can't get them out, and now he's permanently afraid that he'll wind up the same of Meridian without any forewarning.

(Any many parts of him wish that he was since he deserves to die more than she ever would.)

Yet despite all this, despite the mess of a man Hesson Adair Svárovský never wants to be again (yet still is), he walks west, the direction of the Careers, since he needs to find them if he wants to be at all successful in killing the Elevens. He needs to kill them, because only then will he actually feel better about himself, only then will he know Meridian's death wasn't in vain and he could possibly have a chance of being a decent human being.

(Though he's still pissed that they insisted on traveling in pairs and essentially leaving him and Meridian to the wolves.)

(He can get over it temporarily though. The Elevens' corpses would mean more to him than any physical marks left on Ludovicus or the others.)

(Hesson's fucking pissed.)

He covers his face at times as he walks. It's swelling. Swelling from the spot where the Eleven boy hit him, bruises forming around his eyeballs, and the one thing that gives Hesson solace is that Eleven probably has the same wounds as he does. He hit him, he hit him harder than he'd been hit by him, because Hesson wanted revenge, he wanted Eleven to pay for what he did to him, the way he was complicit in Meridian's abuse. The dust clouds behind him as he kicks the pebbles he sees on the ground with anguish, mumbling profanities to himself every couple of minutes.

And now he's in a village as he continues his search for his allies, and the brick floors mean he can't kick rocks, so his cursing continues. He needs some way to get his anger out since he certainly can't cry. Everyone will see Hesson if he cries, which is why he only lets his tears flow rarely and in private. He's not safe now, and he never really was safe to express his feelings safely.

("Be strong, Hesson," His father would tell him in-between rounds of verbal abuse when Hesson wanted nothing more than to let it all out, "Svárovský men don't cry. This is why you'll never be like your brother.")

He wanted to punch him, yet Hesson didn't. He just gave in to the bullshit time and time again until he'd had enough of it, and he decided to take action, Volunteering couldn't be so hard, yet he'd learned the hard way and lord Hesson hated himself for it. He hated himself more than he thought he was capable of hating Alaban.

But he hears chatter in one of the rooms of the houses in the village. It's not very loud, but it's enough noise for Hesson to notice, so he walks by the small adobe cottage and lightly taps on the door, "It's me, Hesson."

He hears footsteps and then Hesson's confronted by Ludovicus' smug bastard expression, "Where's Merdian?" He asks and Hesson wants to break right then and there.

Ludo's so clueless almost like he doesn't even understand what the problem is and he thinks sitting in this house is going to solve it. Hesson's furious, he feels betrayed.

But it doesn't take much longer for Ludo to realize what's happened, "Is she dead?"

For a moment, Hesson swallows his pride. He lets the tears fall from his eyes, not caring who's watching. He almost loses himself in his despair before he tells Ludo, "District Eleven killed her. I want them dead."

Luminosity "Lumi" Abrixus. 16.
District Three Female.
The Red Forrest, West. 14:35.

It's been three hours after Bonnie dropped the news that Sable no longer wanted her to be in their alliance and Lumi's still aggravated by the whole thing. Lumi wasn't sure she wanted allies when she got to the Capitol, and it was funny to her now (maybe not funny, disappointing though) that the people who'd begged her to ally with them cast her out as soon as they got the chance. And for once, Lumi didn't have herself to blame.

Sable. Lumi scorns at that name. Sable who's bitter, so in love with Bonnie she looks like an idiot, so jealous that lord-forbid Bonnie look at somebody else the same way she looked at her (full of lies, broken promises). Bonnie told Lumi that Sable was mad they'd been talking more than usual and she was worried that Bonnie was beginning to hate her. I didn't realize Bonnie was her property… Like yeah, Bonnie did try to sleep with Lumi, but it didn't really work (bathroom was too small and neither wanted to leave the party to go to their apartments), and it was embarrassing but Luminosity was able to get over it for the greater good of having a solid relationship with her allies, the people who said they wouldn't leave her and they would protect her because they needed her. And to Lumi, being needed was worth a lot. I mean, I was needed by the people in Twelve, but that didn't end up great… and when she was needed by Bonnie and Sable, it also didn't end great.

Lumi began to wonder, What's my problem? Is something wrong with her? Is she sick in the head to even go to the Games in the first place, when she clearly didn't have to be there? Is Luminosity Abrixus actually the terrorist that people think she is?

She wouldn't doubt it, she absolutely bombed her interview (and hated herself for it), didn't do all that good in training, and it made every bit of sense that Lumi was at her core incapable of performing well in the Games, but she didn't think it would be a problem with Sable and Bonnie.

"I'm sorry you didn't feel that comfortable at your interview," Bonnie had chided her once Lumi stepped off stage, "I have an idea of how you can feel more comfortable."

Bonnie seduced Lumi, tied her up with her words and arms in the bathroom before they parted lips and parted ways because, I'm not fucking cut out for this, I'm not worthy, not good enough to deserve being loved and cherished by another person. Lumi tried to kiss her to, tried to forget about the atrocities she'd committed for just a moment, but when she kissed Bonnie, all she could hear were the screams of the people she'd killed and all she could see was the cameras panning over the bottom of the mineshaft, highlighting every corpse, every person that was now dead because Luminosity created something that destroyed them. So she couldn't focus on kissing Bonnie, on being good for her, since all Lumi felt was sheer inferiority.

But when it was done, Bonnie was gentle with her, she let her down easy, apologized for possibly making her uncomfortable (she didn't, but it was a kind enough gesture), made sure she was safe, comfortable enough in her skin that she'd be able to sleep through the night, and Lumi appreciated the way she was cared for even when she felt that she was the person from Panem who least deserved to be appreciated, valued, worth anything besides the skin on her back. Yet, Bonnie said she was safe, and Lumi believed her.

She believed her until Sable Hayashi just had to go and ruin everything. Sable, who couldn't even express her disgust for Lumi herself, had to get Bonnie to do it for her. Lumi hates her, hates how possessive Sable is. Lumi hates the way she has to watch Sable all happy with Bonnie even though she's a monster, a thief. And it's not even that Lumi likes Bonnie all that much, more that she likes the feeling of being validated, being a part of something, and Bonnie provided that.

The leaves crunch under Lumi's feet as she wonders in search of shelter. She's afraid to settle down at the village she found, since she assumes everyone's at the village, which means Bonnie and Sable are at the village, and they'll hunt her. Sable will track her down and hunt her until she's dead and Lumi doesn't want to fight. She went into the arena to find inner peace after all, and fighting somebody in a village is the furthest thing from peaceful. And Lumi realizes that she needs food too. She's worried that she's not going to be able to do anything alone. She should've stayed with her allies maybe, but then again, Lumi didn't have a choice. She never gets to have a choice anymore, she's just forced into oblivion, into suffering for things she doesn't know how directly she caused. Lumi's responsible for her own sadness, and maybe that's what bugs her most.

And the trees in the forrest are red, so fucking red like the hair on Bonnie's head and the blood she wishes was running down Sable's back as Lumi screams "You ruined my life, Sable." She screams, "I thought my life was already horrible and then you somehow made it worse." And she'd find a way to hurt her and then she'd cry "You ruined me, Sable Hayashi," before colliding her weapon with Sable's head, and then Lumi would watch her fall to the ground and bite her lip in satisfaction at the sound of the cannon's roar.

(Lumi can't do that though. All she can do is dream of getting her revenge on the girl who caused her so much pain because if Lumi's loud about it, if Lumi's frustrated enough that she kills another human being, creates corpse 6,082 on purpose, then it'll just confirm she's a monster. It will just confirm everything Luminosity fears about herself, the violence and the bloodshed and all the trauma and torture she never meant to engage in.)

(Yet it happened, it happened and Lumi still can't fucking get over it. She thinks she's being ridiculous, thinks she's overreacting yet she's riddled with fear whenever she hears footsteps, and at night she can't sleep because she's afraid one of the people she killed will make themselves real again and attack her while her eyes are shut.)

And Lumi believes she deserves it. Yet, she moves on regardless.

There's an array of berries by one of the red trees and after a quick glance, Luminosity is able to determine that they're not poisonous so she takes a bite of the sweet fruit, some of the juice dropping town her lips, her cheeks till they're all sticky and red. But she's unarmed, and she's afraid because she's unarmed. She saw supplies in the houses in the village she'd walked through but she was too afraid to enter the houses because then somebody could get her, maybe even Bonnie or worse Sable could get her.

She wouldn't even be surprised if Sable wanted her dead. Hell, Lumi still isn't sure that she doesn't want herself dead. But that would be a waste… I didn't come this far to discover myself only to die on the first day. Still, the passive thoughts distract Lumi. She can hardly walk twenty yards without being reminded that she's an awful person, that she killed so many and she deserves to die. So maybe she isn't dying out of pure fucking spite, because Lumi at her heart knows she can be great, she knows that she still is great, she just refuses to listen to herself.

It's an oxymoron, the way the girl who went into the Games on purpose because she's unsure if she wants to die now finds herself unsure if she wants to live, and there's a difference between not wanting to die and wanting to live. For one, actively wanting to live means she's working towards something instead of fighting against the inevitable. Lumi wants to try living, yes. It has to be worth something, she has to be worth something.

So that's the moment Lumi finds that she wants to be alive more than she doesn't want to be dead.

Bubba St. Robbins. 18.
District Five Male.
Nomads' Land. 16:06.

He's been running for hours now without taking breaks and now Bubba St. Robins finds himself in a nomads' land. Literally, it's completely empty, save for a few tumbleweeds rolling across the sand covered ground, and Bubba's confused of the purpose of such area. It feels like a purgatory, doesn't feel weird. Everything in the arena has made sense so far, but this desert of despair feels like it doesn't belong. Interesting because Bubba himself has never felt that he belongs in society as a whole. He's always been too eccentric, too odd, too fuckin' gay that he "makes people uncomfortable" which is just about the last thing Bubba needs to hear… well, I guess I'm eccentric and odd when I kill people, but most of the time I'm not doing that shit for fucks sake. I'm just trying to be myself and if people don't like it then fuck them, I'll slice them and their irrelevance without even trying. But most of the time, Bubba isn't like that. He's smiley, he's friendly, he's bubbly, approachable, but nobody fuckin' cares about that because I wear a skirt and paint my nails. He's an outcast for all the wrong reasons, like sure, my killing should make people dislike me, but the people don't know about that, they just think I'm some fuck-faced fairy in a skirt and that makes me the devil apparently.

Bubba isn't sure where the boy from Three, Aux walked off to, since Bubba didn't really care about the bloodbath and it's atrocities. He didn't really care about Auxiliary or Shuki, he left them on their own for a reason, as bad as it felt looking back on it. He'd forgotten that Shuki's dad's murderer was in the arena with them, but then again, Shuki sure as hell wasn't telling the truth about it. It was a theory Bubba always had but the one thing he got from the bloodbath was the proof they were making shit up and he wasn't.

The kids from Two were trampling over Shuki when they screamed out loud that they'd liked about everything as their bones got smashed in. Bubba saw their eye roll onto the ground yet he couldn't feel all that bad about it. Shuki was somebody who wronged him, and sure they weren't as bad as the other people who Bubba killed, but they weren't genuine with who they are, and if there was one thing Bubba's good at besides hacking up bodies and scooping ice cream, it's being so fuckin' authentic people wish he was somebody else. He doesn't understand why Shuki idolized him so much that they made up lies so they'd impress him. You think this is fun for me? You think I enjoy having to kill people because their existence fuckin' haunts me? This was never fun, it was just for survival.

And that brings Bubba to the thought of the Careers, the way they were so carefree when they killed people, like it was expected of them and they enjoyed it or at least didn't mind killing people. Maybe he wasn't much better himself, but Bubba refuses to believe that. Yes, the people he killed were assholes, irrelevant scum who wronged him, but Bubba feels bad with each and every person he slaughtered. He didn't have to kill them, he knows that, but at the same time he's content with the fact that through murdering them, they won't have to harm anybody else. They won't spew their homophobic rhetoric to somebody less secure with who they are than Bubba is, because he fears that if other people heard the slurs that were used on him, they might not be as strong as him, and he didn't want people to be upset when he could have fixed something. He considers want he possesses to be an odd vigilante complex, possibly a moral dilemma and definitely he's not the best person to be around, yet it's not the worst thing for Bubba to think.

He could be one of the Careers, and they're worse. They killed poor Shuki and maybe Aux who ultimately didn't do much, well Shuki was a fuckin' liar and betrayed everyone around them with their bullshit, but what's their excuse? They didn't lie to the Careers. Yet the people of Panem applauded the Careers for their hard work towards their country while Bubba was left in the dust. He helps people yet he's called a freak, a murderer, sick in the head. Or, he isn't directly told it but everyone who knows Bubba's secrets is probably thinking it. Which makes a bit of sense since Bubba isn't worthy of respect, this just confirms the fact that maybe he's wrong with his helpful killing and maybe he should just kill random people who didn't do jack shit if he wants people to like him.

But that's bad, and Bubba's never considered himself a bad person, just somebody who thinks differently. And different is good, Bubba's good even if he's different in every sense of the word. He's gay, he's a crossdresser, and he kills the people who could lead to other people killing himself. If he's anything besides different, he'd actually consider himself to be quite helpful.

Yet here he is, kicking away tumbleweeds in the sand and pretending he has something important to do. He needs to survive, that's a given, and during his quick stop at a village he found some raw meat and a butcher knife. And then he walked past a volcano which he used to cook the food. He wasn't wildly hungry yet which is why Bubba hasn't eaten anything yet, but he has cut up pieces of chicken and steak in the pockets of his pants, and a large knife in his hand, the type of knife he knows exactly how to use. But besides that, Bubba's clueless. If he was a Career maybe this would be easier, since all they do is walk around picking people to kill, but again, Bubba isn't like that, and there's nobody in the arena who deserves to be killed by him.

(Well, he could make an argument that the Careers all deserve to die due to their fucked up morals and the applause and praise that they get as a result, but Bubba St. Robbins' is no fucking fool. He's not going to kill them unless they try to kill him.)

But he has no idea where the Careers are, and part of him doesn't even want to look for them, in fact, he wants to avoid them for as long as possible. Maybe then they'll kill each other and Bubba wouldn't have to worry about killing them. He's in it for the long game, and that means he needs to stay safe. His food and his blade? He can only use them in emergencies, and hopefully he doesn't have any of those. And until then, Bubba will do what he can to keep himself occupied while also alert. Maybe make crowns out of the tumbleweeds or something dumb like that, but Bubba won't let himself die at the hands of a group of people who kill for fun, without a purpose.

It's just like he wouldn't die or let himself get traumatized by Watty and his buddies. He got back at them because that was the only way he'd feel like he won. And it worked since Bubba did indeed come out victorious. To himself, Bubba could say he's a hero. He did what had to be done.

And he'd do what had to be done in the arena if it meant he'd be able to go home and spit in the faces of everyone he wanted. Bubba wouldn't even have to worry about being in trouble for the killings either, he'd be probably pardoned or if not he'd make himself so lovable that people wouldn't be able to kill him without starting an uprising.

(Maybe Bubba's parents would even love him or at least see the use in him. Maybe if Bubba came home on a train with a golden crown on his head then his parents would be able to acknowledge him. But then Bubba wouldn't let them. He'd be the one who ignored them now. He'd get his own house without them and he could eat ice cream all day and maybe give some of the money to Hippie. He wouldn't have to think about his parents in the back of his mind ever again.)

Bubba considers himself a haunted man, but maybe the arena would heal him. Maybe the arena would show him his true worth, prove that he's not the outsider he's been forced to be for so long. And I really would look hot in one of those Capitol skirts and wigs. It was like Bubba was born for this in hindsight. He was born to prove himself to the world.

And Bubba would, well he would after finding a place to rest that didn't so many fucking tumbleweeds.

Silvana Ildron. 17.
District Six Female.
Limbo Village, East. 17:20.

"I just can't fucking believe it," It had been five hours yet Silvana still finds herself fuming, pacing back and forth at the pub her alliance has decided to settle in for the next day or so, "That punk bitch from District Eight fucking killed Garrick!"

"Yes, you keep repeating that Silvana," As per usual, Hennessy was done with everybody's bullshit, "I know it's sad, but repeating it over and over isn't going to bring him back."

Silvana knows that, but it doesn't change the fact that she's absolutely terrified. While she's never explicitly considered herself naive since she definitely saw some shady shit back home in District Six, she can't help but feel like the Games bitchslapped her in the face. Or maybe that was due to fuckin' Danika, or rather the fact less than twenty-four hours ago she was literally fucking Danika, or rather Danika was the one fucking her if she's being technical. Honestly, Danika Xiong was a trick ass bitch for that, fucking blinding her from the reality of the fact they were in the Capitol and were going to fucking die. And Silvana wishes she could say that Danika did that on purpose because she was some sort of evil bitch who was gaslighting her, but nope, Danika's fucking perfect, that annoying bitch. Silvana can't fucking stand her.

And she needs to stop thinking of Danika but guess what? That's hard as fuck when she's sitting down next to her and looking at her with those stupidly pretty puppy eyes and telling her "It's going to be okay" as she laments about Garrick's death.

Truth be told, Garrick definitely wasn't the person in her alliance that Silvana was closest too (unfortunately that's Danika) but that didn't mean she authorizied that little twat who was allies with Otto to fucking throttle him. At least Otto's dead though! Wait, it's fucked of her to be celebrating the death of a fifteen year old with only one leg, isn't it? Ah well, he was annoying as hell and was going to die anyways. She didn't think Garrick would do it, in fact she was sort of hoping a Career would do it since those bitches always play dirty and bloody, but hey, beggars can't be choosers especially in literal hell.

As Silvana paced back and forth, Lobo's sitting in a corner and he seems pretty fucking miserable, and like fair enough, his friend just died and as kind as he is, Lobo is one sensitive mother fucker. Makes sense that he would cry over it. Silvana goes to comfort him sitting on the ground next to his chair. She's tall enough that she's able make semi-decent eye contact with him even though she's on the floor.

"You okay, buddy?" Silvana asks, genuine with her tone actually, "I know you're really sad aren't you."

She puts her hand on Lobo's knee ad tries to comfort him but he just cries out, "Why the fuck would I be okay, Silvana?"

"I guess it makes sense," She sighs, trying to think of things she can say that seem comforting since Silvana isn't very good at that, "I mean, did you expect this was going to happen? Like you know it's the Hunger Games and this shit is supposed to happen eventually."

(Silvana had already coped with the deaths of the boys a while back. She was fully aware that it would suck, but it was given since again this is literally the Hunger Games, yet seeing it happen did hurt her a little, but she was more angry than she was sad. Silvana was just so fucking angry at that little bitch brat kid. Which was maybe stupid of her since the kid didn't even look like a threatening murder and she literally was predicted to die first. But that could be a fucking rouse. Either way, Silvana had no idea what she wanted to do about it. Because yes, Silvana's one angry person, she was practically born bitter, but that doesn't mean she was mentally capable of killing a child, even if she was so fucking pissed at said child.)

"I know it was bound to happen but I just wasn't ready," Lobo grunted, pressing his head into his palms, "Maybe I'm just some ridiculous fool, because I was just hoping we'd be able to get out of here together or at least make it further without losing anyone and I feel stupid for instructing you and Garrick to get supplies when I could've myself."

Silvana actually thought it was smart thinking to have her and Garrick run back and forth to the Cornucopia in attempts to get supplies, since they were the two tallest members of the alliance and Lobo was well… not at all tall. In fact, Danika's the only person shorter than him and she's fucking tiny.

"No you couldn't have," Silvana pleads with him, afraid to cause a full blown breakdown, "Lobo, you would have died."

"So what?" Lobo throw his hands in the air in frustration, "Then all of you would be okay and isn't that worth something?"

That statement terrifies Silvana. Less than a full day in and he's already talking about sacrificing himself for them. And she feels unworthy of it too. She doesn't think she's the sort of person that people should die for in order to keep alive. She's pure chaos, and she's accepted that part of her but she doesn't think the Capitol would like it very much in a Victor. They'd like Danika because she's kind enough and she'd probably give into them even if Silvana pleaded with her not to, and then they'd like Lobo because he's just genuinely a good person without many flaws besides that he loves his friends too much. The two of them and hell even Hennessy would be favored by the Capitol, so Silvana doesn't get why Lobo doesn't value them.

"You need to value yourself more," Silvana attempts to reassure her, "Seriously, Lobo. You're a wonderful person. You proved that when you were able to bring all of us idiots together. And I'm really grateful for that, you know? You deserve to live more than you give yourself credit for, and it's not you fault Garrick is dead."

"But it is—"

"No, don't tell yourself that," Danika cuts him off and sighs, "I'm telling you Lobo, you're loved and needed here. And I'm glad you're alive. You're an important person to me, and you're funny and just so kind and I'm glad we didn't lose you. You're the person who holds us together."

For once, Hennessy's able to be emotional too, "Lobo, I don't usually say shit like this but honestly, I'm glad I met you. You make me feel, less shitty about myself, which is saying a lot. All you've shown me is love and kindness and that's something I've never had until I met you. I'm glad you're here."

"See what they said?" Silvana laughs and looks at Lobo to see he's tearing up, "You're fucking amazing, dude. Don't forget it."

"…Nice to me?" Lobo wipes away a few tears with his index finger, "I don't deserve…"

"You do," Danika nods her head, "Thanks for being you."

And for a moment, time stops. It's just these four idiots in a small building in the middle of hell with nothing but shitty food and a knife. But they're smiling because they have each other and maybe that's enough for a while. They're all alive, all healthy, and that's worth something. As Lobo cries, Danika does too. She walks by her District Partner and wraps her arms around his shoulder. And Silvana looks at her with a smile. Danika winks at her before wrapping her arms around Hennessy the same way she did Lobo.

"We're going to be okay," And somehow Silvana believes her.

Danika sits next to Silvana's spot on the ground and smiles, "Hey, you."

"Hi," Silvana blushes, realizing this is the first conversation they've had the two of them since they've been in the arena, "How goes it?"

"Not that good," Danika admits, "But I'm not supposed to be happy right now. Alive is enough."

"Can I help make you happy?" Silvana smirks and Danika nods her head and Silvana gets all close to her and kisses her softly. It's much softer than their previous kisses but it's appreciated. It's enough. And it doesn't last long enough.

"I guess I'm happier now," Danika giggles, stroking Silvana's cheek, "You have that effect on me, I guess."

The boys laugh at them and Silvana loudly tells them to "shut the fuck up." It's friendly banter, as evident by the way everyone laughs and smiles and is almost happy. Emphasis on almost, as all Silvana can do is fear that this moment of peace is the calm before the inevitable storm.

(Yet this is enough for now.)

Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day