034 - Konoha (The land of opportunity)

I have a problem.

And this isn't a problem like when traveling with Grandfather turned out to be not so great, or when I had to figure out how to tattoo storage seals on my wrists with invisible ink for my trump card. No, this is a serious problem. The process has been subtle and insidious, but there's no way I can miss it anymore. You see, I am becoming Future Ran.

… Don't laugh!

Future Ran is serious and responsible, she always clears up my messes and all her plans come to fruition. I don't feel like I am any of that, but the clock's ticking and I'm running out of time. I'll have to step up to the plate sooner rather than later.

For the longest time, the Konoha Chunin Exams were just a vague possibility for the future. Something I even detachedly looked forward to. I mean, who wouldn't? I like to think I never was the archetypical stupid fangirl who would squee at the chance of being inserted, but I was, at least, a little bit giddy at the possibility of meeting my favorite characters face to face.

Now? Not so much.

Shikamaru would peg me as strange in the first five minutes of conversation and wouldn't let go until he made me spill the beans in some subtle and overly elaborate plan that actually wouldn't take much effort on his part.

Hinata is a sweet girl, but she's also kind of scary? Yandere potential aside, I really don't want her to take an interest in me right now.

Yakumo might be my favorite filler character, but I'd rather only interact with her after her Dying Will Flames of the Mist Real Illusion Demon/Shadow Alterego Persona Thingie (kind of a mouthful, I know) is dealt with.

Naruto would… There's a nonzero chance of Naruto being able to tell people apart by their very souls, which is all sorts of bad news for my plans. The least be said about Aburame or Inuzuka, the best.

Because that's the crux of the matter. I have plans, and there's so much hanging on them. My neck, to begin with, Karin's too, most likely. And they're not the best plans to begin with, so I don't need to add further complications. Or rather, they're the best but that doesn't make them good.

And yet, I have to spend a month here, cheering on Karin, but without spending too much time with her, because I'd rather she bonded with her cousin and maybe clan head and I have to avoid him like the plague. And it makes me feel… I don't know. I don't know, okay? There's a reason why I don't usually do introspection.

Konoha's walls appear between the stupid-ass giant trees so common in this part of Fire Country, and I can only think that's too soon. At some point during my travel I must've gotten too lost in my own mind and increased my pace without thinking.

That's what I'm going to assume happened, because it's the only way I'd reach Konoha before the actual aspiring teams, who left Kusa with a two days advantage. Cutting through the wilderness instead of following the snaking road like a damn civilian probably helped, now that I think about it.

In any case, here we are. Time to pull out my permit and enter a ninja village not my own in an entirely legitimate way.

… Now, that's a weird thought.

Konoha's security is relaxed by necessity. They simply don't have the human resources to keep track of everyone during an event like this one. As a low-ranking nin from an allied minor village, my own threat rating is pretty much down the gutter, so as long as I don't do something stupid and attention grabbing, they won't bother with me.

It should be a good thing, but… I'm kind of bad at not grabbing attention. How does one do unassuming, anyway? I tried it once, back when I hadn't yet resigned myself to excel like the bloody Shimada I am, and I failed spectacularly. The question is, did I learn enough about what not to do to pull it off now? It's only a month, right? I should manage, right?

… Yeah, I don't believe it either, but I'll have to try anyway.

I show my papers at the gate, hiding my disappointment at the eternal gatekeepers not manning the post at the moment, and step into the village proper. I was expecting a shiver down my spine as I set my foot in, maybe a sense of trepidation clenching my heart or a moment frozen in time as my brain registered the event and burned it to memory.

Instead, I took another step. And then another, and another, and another one. As opposed to what some people say about me, I did check a map of the city before leaving Kusa, so I don't have trouble locating a hotel. Not the best, maybe, but with good installations, a private onsen and a reputation for clean rooms. Good enough for me.

After getting the keys for a couples room for the following month, I leave to take a look around the civilian markets and kill some time. The teams from Kusa are scheduled to arrive today, but with most of them being lazy bastards, it'll be some hours before they make it here.

In the end, the markets were a dud. I saw a couple of interesting things, but nothing to really get my attention and keep me entertained, so I ended up going back at the gates and waiting near them for three hours.

It was a relief when the teams from Kusa finally popped their heads along the path. Everyone is there, looking healthy and whole. Team We-Run-From-Bears and Team Deader Meat are walking at a sedated pace in what appears to be a basic defensive formation... Which means Karin is right in the middle.

Bitches, Karin can wipe the floor with your collective asses.

Besides that small slight, nothing draws attention to them. Just a normal group of normal genin from a normal minor village visiting in a normal way for their perfectly normal Chunin Exam. In other words, Orochimaru pulled off his assassination and replacement so flawlessly nobody even noticed. As expected of him, really.

I try to put that out of my mind when Karin finally notices me, a wide smile brightening her face at the pleasant surprise. Did she really think I would arrive after her just because she left earlier? Pu~lease!

"Ran-chan!" Karin rushes to my side as soon as they are given the all-clear. "I wasn't expecting you for days!"

"Yeah, well. I'm prodigious like that." I wink at her. "How was the trip? Any bear in the way?"

"Ran-chan…"

"Shimada." Whatever else Karin was going to say is interrupted when the leader of Team Deader Meat approaches me. "I wasn't sure whether we would see you here in Konoha, but Uzumaki was insistent you'd come."

Orochimaru. If there was any doubt about his identity, they vanish as soon as he approaches me. It's nothing I can put a pin on. Heck, I'm pretty sure his act is objectively perfect, but there's a shiver down my spine the moment he calls my name and I just know.

I don't react to that knowledge, though. I don't freeze up, I don't grow tense. This is something I wouldn't have been able to achieve, in most circumstances. Only by committing time and effort to it have I been able to accept that there's not a single thing I can do against him and thus, there's no point in acting differently. A pathetic epiphany, and nothing short of self-hypnosis.

"Here I am." I answer with chill. With all the chill. I'm the chillest chill this side of the Mississippi, cooler than a watermelon in sunglasses. "I'm officially on a holiday, but if you guys need the occasional hand with training, just hit me up. I'll give Karin the information on where I'm staying later."

I'm not making the offer idly. I have exactly zero interest in breaking my R&R by putting up with these lazy bums. But there's something well known about me, something anyone with even cursory knowledge of me would know, something I might want in return from helping around.

What catches me on the back foot is the barely concealed shiver as he takes a step back and looks around nervously.

"That's… generous of you, Shimada. But we should have it covered." He licks his lips nervously, looking a bit green. Heck, both teams look a bit green. Food poisoning? Maybe the trip didn't sit well with them? "Actually, why don't you take Uzumaki with you? There's little we can do before the first phase anyway. I'm sure our sensei won't mind giving her some time to kick off and relax before the exam starts in earnest."

He looks behind him, where the two jounin-sensei and Karin's actual team leader hurry to agree with his words. There's something that sounds suspiciously like 'please don't hurt us' coming from them, and I wonder whether Orochimaru might not be that good at infiltration after all, he has everyone terrorized!

…

Anyway, that's not what I was aiming for, but I'll take it. With a shrug, I grab Karin's hand and disappear amongst the mass of civilians before someone can change their mind. Karin is mine until the exams proper!

"So!" I ask once I'm reasonably sure chasing us isn't worth the effort. "Do you want to gather intel on the competition or go see the sights?"

"I think we can leave the cloak and dagger stuff for tomorrow. And maybe do something relaxing before sightseeing?" She smiles tiredly, stretching like a cat. "Right now I just want to sit down and maybe have a nice dinner."

"Say no more, I know the place!" I answer cheerfully

If you're thinking Yakiniku Q, you're utterly wrong. Who the heck has barbeque for dinner, anyway? Especially after a long trip. No, as much as Karin doesn't conform to that certain irritating trope about the Uzumaki, Ichiraku's is still the best ramen place in the Elemental Nations.

… Or maybe it isn't, I've never been there myself. That's why we're paying a visit.

It's still a bit early for dinner, so we take a sedated pace to get there. The streets of Konoha may hold little interest to me, but strolling alongside Karin is a different matter altogether. I feel myself relax as she tells me about her own trip here. And I let myself forget about the absolute shitshow that's coming.

The smell hits us before the place comes to sight. Miso, baked bone, seafood and the other thousand subtle and blatant aromas of a shop that deals with a variety of broths, accompanied by an undertone of ground cereal, exclusive to places that dough their own noodles.

I smile as we get closer, readying a bit of a grandstanding introduction. My hand goes to the curtain, lips splitting for my announcement as I pull it open and-

"Welcome to Ichiraku's!" A cheerful male voice comes from inside, stepping on my line.

I very pointedly don't pout as we take our seats, and whoever says otherwise is a lying liar who lies. Obviously Karin's snickering is because of some old joke she just happened to remember. At least the waitress is cute.

It's at that moment, right as I'm trying to figure out what I want to try first, that my day gets utterly and completely ruined by a cheerfully boisterous voice coming right from my side and possibly ruining my hearing for the rest of the evening.

"Oi, Ossan! Another three tonkotsu here!"

I freeze, slowly turning my head to the side to verify what I already know to be true. Uzumaki Naruto is here. Because of course he's here. Somehow, it never crossed my mind that this place's best client, who just happens to be in the top 3 of Konoha people I didn't want to randomly meet, might be eating here.

I've always planned on helping the lovable fool meet and connect with Karin, but it was supposed to be something engineered from afar, without involving myself with Naruto if at all possible. As mentioned before, Naruto is bad news for my anonymity. How did I even miss a blonde in eye-searing orange sitting in the stall when I came in?

Don't… don't talk to me, okay? I know. Dear Homura, devil of love, I'm a fucking idiot.

… Maybe he won't see me if I don't move?

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