Jaime missed the burning sun over his head. Only now, feeling the autumn breeze tickling his beard, he realizes how much. And I'll go back to missing it soon, he thinks sadly. When Jon is finished with his training in Westeros, I'll go back to the Wall and the gloomy sky of the North.

He shakes these thoughts off. He still has a few months in the South before he and Jon part ways, so why bother think about it?

"You look happy", he hears a voice behind him—Lady Brienne's, he recognizes easily.

He turns to her and is met by her blue eyes. There is something about them that instantly calms him down, no matter the situation. It's been like this since she first held him down while he endured the pain of Jon's healing sessions, and it only got more intense when he told her his deepest secrets and she accepted his words as truth. Perhaps it's because her shade of blue is the exact opposite of the one that wight carried—that blue has haunted many of his nightmares. Hers makes him think of life, in a way no other eye color has.

Actually, he never thought much about someone's eye color before Brienne. Not even Cersei's—why, if it was identical to his own?

"I am", he replies, more softly than he expected from himself. "I've never realized how much I took the sun for granted until I moved to the Wall."

"You've lived through winter once", she remarks, "haven't you? I remember being a winter child, and I was born three years before Aerys' death."

It's the first time she gives information on her age. He already guessed her to be significantly younger than him, but that sentence alone gives it away that she is nineteen at oldest. "You're the same age as Ygritte", he comments. "And yes, I served Aerys in winter, and the same goes for the first years of Robert's reign. But I was either in King's Landing or in Casterly Rock, and snow doesn't affect those places much, and in the Rock the sky is open during most of winter."

She nods slowly, as if in contemplation. Before he can stop himself, his eyes dart to her freckles. He's never seen so many of them on a single person's skin before. Is it due to the amount of time she likely spent outdoors training? Her skin is as white as marble, so perhaps it's to be expected. It's almost as if her skin was the sky, and her freckles the stars—

He closes his eyes and wills these thoughts away. It's completely inappropriate to think of her in such a way, especially when he's a member of the Night's Watch and she's a highborn maid. Now with Cersei far away, never to be his to hold again, he has no intention of breaking his vows anymore. Letting his assessment of Lady Brienne border into poetry won't help either of them…

Although he still doesn't understand how anyone could call her 'as ugly as a cow'. She may not be the most beautiful woman in the realm—that title belongs to his twin, obviously—and her body build may look a bit too similar to a man's, but she ordinarily looking, at worst. Looking at her requires no effort on his part.

"So", he begins, clearing his throat, "are you really sure your family will welcome us? Jon, Ygritte and I are all being chased by the Crown."

"I can vouch for you three", she replies instantly. "None of you have done anything wrong to earn this fate."

"I wouldn't put myself in this list", he mumbles, because he has his fair share of sins.

"Because you're a… Ser Sisterfucker?"

Oh gods, he can't help but laugh. Ygritte's mock title for him sounds extra funny coming from her mouth. "Well, it did get me exiled to the Wall…"

She nods to the side. "I don't think I'll ever understand how you were able to lay with your own sister, but that isn't why the king wants your head."

His mirth dies instantly. "No, it's not. Although he did want it at first for cuckolding him, as Jon told the King-beyond-the Wall." He grins again.

She chuckles, and he happens to find the sound adorable. "Jon seems to have a way with words…"

"His best Avatar ability, no doubt."

She takes a deep breath, stopping her own laugh, and shakes her head, still grinning. "Don't worry. My father and brother trust my judgement."

None of them—Jon, Ygritte and Jaime—are recognized when they leave the ship, as Brienne refrains from giving their names in the open. Only when they are within the walls of Evenfall, she pulls her father and brother aside to properly introduce them all.

"This is my father, Lord Selwyn Tarth", he says, pointing at the tall and buffy man. Then points at the younger man holding a can. "And this is my brother Galladon, heir to Evenfall Hall. Father, brother, this is… the Team Avatar."

He swallows a groan. Ever since that red priest proclaimed them 'Team Avatar', Jon has coined it as the official name of their group. He finds it dull and unoriginal, to be honest, but he fears voicing his thoughts and having Ygritte come up with an even worse name.

Her brother tightens his hold on his cane and frowns. "Brie… do you mean that you met the Avatar? And one of them is it?"

Jon steps ahead. "It is me, my lord", he says solemnly. "I am the Avatar. These two beside me", he points to him and Ygritte, "have travelled with me since the beginning, staying faithfully at my side despite all troubles we've faced on the road. Lady Brienne has pledged herself to me as my sworn shield—one I'm proud to have next to me."

Lord Selwyn and Lord Galladon exchange glances, and suddenly they bow to Jon. The poor boy stammers that there is no need, and Jaime can't help but laugh. "Get used to it, Jon", he says, patting his shoulder. "Half of Westeros is after you, sure, but the other half will be in awe of you when they meet you."

"There is nothing to be in awe of", he mumbles.

"When they get to know you, no, there isn't", he teases, "but, as you just said it, you are the Avatar, a legend reborn. So… get used to it."

"And who are you", Lord Galladon asks, "if you don't mind us asking?"

He glances at Brienne, who nods, and turns back to her brother. "The… false Avatar, I suppose. Jaime Lannister of the Night's Watch."

Lord Selwyn looks about to choke, and his son laughs. "Hey, Brie", he calls his sister, "have you checked if you can beat the Kingslayer in a bending duel?"

The lady in question groans, and Jaime wonders if this is some sort of inside joke between the two siblings. He never had those with Cersei, although he has memories of sharing a few with Tyrion. "We were a bit busy running away from the law, brother."

"I have heard that the King wants the Avatar's head", her father muses. "Something about eliminating Targaryens?" He looks at Jon. "But you are clearly northern-looking. Oh, wait—who is the charming lady over there?"

"No lady", Ygritte replies automatically. "Er, sorry. But my point stands. I'm of the Free Folk. We don't use… this word for ourselves. Ygritte. Pleased to meet you… m'lord."

It's such an awkward introduction that he lets out a chuckle. Lord Selwyn just nods. "Alright… if you are not a lady, what do I call you?"

"My name is just fine, m'lord."

"Alright then, Ygritte. Have it your way. Now, where was I—oh, well, young boy", he turns back to Jon, "why does the King think you are a Targaryen?"

Jon sighs and hides his hands in his breeches' pockets. "Because I am", he admits. "I don't know how he found out—we have suspicions, but no real clue. It was supposed to be a secret. I'm Rhaegar Targaryen's son with Lyanna Stark, and I've been hiding as Lord Eddard's bastard since my birth."

Lord Galladon gapes at them, and Lord Selwyn coughs, seemingly having choked for real this time. Brienne suggests that they all sit—which, frankly, they should have since they arrived at this solar—and distracts her family by telling the story of how she came to meet them. Not that it helps—her father already knew about her captivity, but its details still shocked him—but at least no one is fretting over Jon's identity anymore.

Even though he already knows all of what she is telling them, he can't help but pay attention. She has a rather soothing voice, he thinks. She could put a child into sleep by telling a story easily. Unbidden, the image of a baby version of Brienne comes to mind, being lulled to sleep by her mother's voice—

Oh fuck. Stop it, you idiot. But no, his mind doesn't leave him alone. Instead, it focuses on the baby's face. It is near-identical to her mother's, but her eyes are green—

I fell in love with Brienne, didn't I? He suppresses a groan; how typical of him, falling for women out of his reach. First it was Cersei—neither of them cared that their love was forbidden, but still—now Brienne—though this time, it's her who's the problem, but his status as a member of the Night's Watch, sworn (once again) to celibacy.

With Cersei, he had not cared if he had dishonored her that night in Eel Alley. It had been her idea in the first place! His only concern was whether they'd be caught or not. With Brienne, he can't even entertain the idea of kissing her. Any move of his part could ruin her reputation and her chances of getting a master title, which is obviously her dream. And, even if she no longer sees him as such, in the eyes of the realm he remains an oathbreaker and an honorless man. He refuses to drag Brienne into this.

The only problem is maintaining his resolve with her so close for the next few months. Okay, he supposes stopping himself from kissing or fucking her will be easy; this kind of self-control is one he's mastered over the years. But will he be able to stop gazing at her longingly? With his sister, he avoided it by hanging his lead low or darting his eyes around the room, as a proper Kingsguard should.

He's pretty sure he's gazing longingly at Brienne now. He glances away to look at Jon, who stares at him with eyebrows raised. Oh fuck.

He successfully avoids Jon's pestering by asking the Tarths where the marble mines are. "Lady Brienne says mining them is part of her metalbending training", he explains. "I'd like to see how different it is from gold mining, if you allow me."

Her father gives them permission, and Lord Galladon follows his sister as she guides them to the mines, located almost on the other side of the island. He tries not to look too awed as she extracts a huge piece of marble without even touching it, and lets Jon do the praise as he is suddenly caught by a fit of coughs.

"Do you want to try it, Ser Jaime?", her brother asks politely.

He raises his right hand and shakes his head. "I'd need both of my hands for this", he replies, "and my right one is still healing from several broken bones."

"May I ask how that happened?"

"The first bones were broken in a fist fight in Harrenhal's dungeons", he supplies, not bothering to add he only got into that fist fight because he was furious at the men who wanted to rape Brienne and Ygritte. "The rest was smashed by the Mountain."

"Who he killed!", Ygritte adds behind him.

Lord Galladon looks at him up and down and nods. "The Mountain? As in Gregor Clegane?" He nods. "That's quite a feat, Ser. I hope the tale spreads someday, when the Crown takes the price off your head."

"He shouted the royal family's names as he killed him", Brienne adds, and his heart skips a beat at the acknowledgement. "Elia, Aegon and Rhaenys. Said it was for them."

Her brother's eyes go wide. It's like he's looking at him under a new light. "I suppose you are not as evil as people make you out to be", he says after a short silence.

He shrugs. "Any knight that actually values their title would do that."

"They would want to", Jon counters, "but not every knight is a master metalbender, Jaime."

"You know what I meant."

"Still. What would the Blackfish have done? Hit him with water whips until he choked?"

"Considering the Blackfish is a Grandmaster waterbender", he reminds him dryly, "I can think of a few ways he could finish the Mountain off as efficiently as I did. Use another example."

They keep on their banter until Lord Galladon returns to the matter of his hand. "We have waterbender healers in the isle, if you want to meet them. They saved me when I got into a nearly fatal accident; I'm sure a few broken bones will be easy for them."

"Most of the damage was healed by Jon already", he replies. "The problem is the hand's functionality. If I use it today to bend or fight, I might break these bones all over again."

Lord Galladon keeps the offer up, and he thanks him as they head back to Evenfall.

Jon decides to use ocean water for that night's healing session. He sits down on the sand, and Jon asks Brienne to hold him from behind with a knowing grin that tells Jaime he's fully aware of the effect that action will have in him.

"Hey Ygritte", he calls the girl, because she is always there with them, "what was that song that the Arryn boy lord liked to hear you sing?"

He focuses on her frown as the first wave of pain comes. "You mean the one about Scarborough?"

"Yes—ouch—that one. Mind singing it—ouch—again? Never heard it—ouch—full."

She begins to sing, and he makes an effort to focus on her voice instead of Brienne's arms holding him tight. It doesn't work as well as he'd hoped—he can't ignore the warmth of her skin against him, even with his clothes coming between their skins—but at least he catches the whole lyrics this time.

"What kind of fair, or city, was this?", he asks after the pain is over. "The woman in the song asks her lover for impossible things."

"I've never heard this song before", Brienne comments, still holding him. He has to fight every instinct to lean into her touch.

Ygritte glances away. "I don't even know if Scarborough ever existed", she replies. "As far as I know, it's a legendary city. It is said, among the Free Folk, that it was a place where everything was possible if driven by love, hence the song lyrics."

He feels sleep creeping in, as it always does after a healing session. "Sounds like a lovely place", he murmurs, yawning.

Brienne takes her arms off him, but before he can feel absurdly cold, she grabs his hands to lift him up.

Over the course of two days, he is cornered and interrogated about his newfound feelings for Brienne by Jon, Ygritte and Lord Galladon. "How long have you been in love with my sister, Ser Jaime?", he asks without preamble.

He looks down at his lap. They are on a bench outside, watching Jon and Brienne spar. "I don't know for sure", he admits. "I've only realized it when I came here, but it was sooner."

Probably when she showed him compassion after he confessed why he killed Aerys. Brienne was, indeed, the first—and so far only—person to ever bother asking him, and she didn't reject his answer as an excuse, as he so often feared people would do if he tried to explain himself.

It wasn't just that, though, he thinks. Her soothing eyes who kept him grounded while he suffered the pain of Jon's healing sessions helped, as well as her proficiency in bending. He had been in awe of Cersei for less, so it isn't really surprising that seeing Brienne metalbending always leaves him mesmerized.

He raises his gaze to find Lord Galladon giving him a rather unimpressed glare. "And what do you intend to do with these feelings of yours?"

"Nothing, my lord", he replies, lifting his chin. "I'm sworn to the Night's Watch, never to take a wife or father children."

"You said these same vows when you joined the Kingsguard", he replies, "and yet I hear the wildling girl calling you 'Ser Sisterfucker' every two hours."

Clearly you're not paying that much attention if you have to wait two hours between each time she calls me that. "We are talking about very different situations, my lord", he replies, proud that his voice does not waver. "With all due respect, you know nothing of Cersei and I. Trying to compare my relationship with her to my feelings for your sister is impractical. I don't intend to dishonor Lady Brienne, only to keep her safe and happy."

"And what if her happiness was you?" Don't you dare make me dream. "Would you break your vows then?"

He straightens his back. "This should not be a concern", he replies carefully. "Lady Brienne is sworn to Jon, as you are aware. She will follow him wherever he goes, while I'm bound to Westeros due to my oaths. Our days together are numbered, my lord. We'll soon go our different ways, and your sister will most likely forget about me."

It hurts to even think about it, but he has to remind himself of their impending parting. Perhaps Brienne won't really forget him—he's the Kingslayer, not someone easily forgettable—but he will certainly become just a passing moment in her life. She will remember him whenever someone mentions Aerys or wildfire, but nothing other than the memory of a night in an inn where they were forced to share a bed and ended up sharing a secret.

Jaime knows himself, however; he is unlikely to forget Brienne anytime soon. It will take years for him to get over her, if he ever does. He will spend his days pining for her from the far north while she makes a name for herself as the Avatar's sworn sword and a metalbending master.

Lord Galladon's eyes travel around him, as if looking for answers to all of his questions on his face. Finally, he speaks up. "My sister seems to respect you. I don't know what you did to her, or told her, but Brienne is a good judge of character. She would not have brought you here if she didn't trust you, so I'm willing to give you the benefit of doubt."

"We don't plan on staying here long", he says, "but I appreciate your kindness, my lord."

"Good, then we're done here."

They spend ten days on the island. Ygritte loved Tarth and wanted to spend more time there—frankly, so did he—but Jon is anxious to go to Dorne. Lord Selwyn arranges a ship sailing straight to Sunspear for them.

Brienne's goodbyes to her father and brother look rather emotional from a distance, and he smiles softly at the sight—although not without a pang of envy. His father never treated him the way Lord Selwyn treats his children: with love and care, seeing them as people instead of cyvasse pieces.

"Stop grinning like an idiot", Jon says. "She will see."

His smile—smile, not grin—falls immediately, and he turns to follow him and Ygritte aboard. Brienne shows up not long later, and soon the ship sails.

I'm leaving this warning in all my ongoing fics as I update them: starting this Ash Wednesday (17), Lent begins, going up until March 28th, and I won't read or write fanfic in this period. As the Catholic Church allows us to get reprieves every Sunday, on these days I'll show up again in AO3 and my Google Docs. However, I can't guarantee I'll write entire chapters in one day, so I can't guarantee weekly updates. I might not be able to update some stories at all. I'll still read and answer to comments, just not as often I do today.

I ask you to be patient, as Lent is a very important time of the year for me as a Catholic, and I don't plan on breaking it - my time spent with fanfic is bordering on unhealthy, to be honest, so I really need to do this.

See you soon!