Another chapter on Lucasta and Helion.

Next week is an intensive curating week at uni so I don't thinkI'll be able to write or post anything. I'll post the next chapter as soon as possible, either this weekend, or after the intensive week.

Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited!

Shalini : There wasn't nearly enough Baby Lucien but I still loved writing about him (next chapter though)

Sunflower : I don't know if you continued reading after chapter 13 but thank you so much for your comment! It made me really happy and I hope you woudl have enjoyed the rest of the story! :D

FANFICTION

A COURT OF NIGHTMARES AND LIGHT

PART III – THE BLOOD MOON

CHAPTER XXXIV : A Mother's Love

The weeks turned into months, months turned into years, days and days and days of celebration, hunting parties, gatherings and meaningless life went on and on and on. Almost each night Beron expected Lucasta to open her legs for him, and almost every day he ignored her for his hunting parties, celebrations, friends, courtiers, and whores.

Lucasta didn't mind the little time they spent together, she actually appreciated the freedom it offered her. She visited the estate and its surrounding area a lot, though she could never go too far away from Beron's leash. She would often go to the nearest villages and cities to meet the people, offer food and hear their pleas. The people loved her, almost as much as they feared their High Lord. But in Prythian, fear was stronger than love.

Perhaps that was why Helion had never come to her that night. That last gaze they had exchanged had been the last time she had seen him. After that day, he went back to the Day Court and another courtier took his place as Emissary. No letter, no message, nothing ever came from Helion. So she stopped hoping, crushing her heartbeats for him into silence.

She had one duty: being the Lady of the Court of Autumn. Be an obedient wife. Become the mother of the future High Lord.

Beron was more and more frustrated by her inability to produce a child, even knowing that it was so rare for High Fae, even with all the fertility potions she took to please him, it was difficult.

It took seven years in their wedding for her scent to change. It was the morning after the fertility ritual of the Mabon festivities. Sore and exhausted from the previous night's ceremony and events, she rose with a light groan, put on her nightgown, and moved to the breakfast tray that had been brought to her. A few minutes later, growling and whining about the sun rising too early, Beron got up as well and put on pants.

He approached her and sniffed the air, freezing completely.

"They have brought your favourite breakfast, my lord," Lucasta said at a loss for word at his strange behaviour.

He took a deep, deep breathe, face twisted in concentration. Then he fell on his knees and grabbed her waist. He pulled her closer to himself and she almost lost her balance on the chair. She gasped and flushed, embarrassed by his unexpected attention when some servants still roamed the room.

"Finally…" he whispered, burying his head in her lap.

She put her hands over his head, to push him away, but understanding melted her resolve. Her heart missed a beat and as he rose his head, a huge grin on his face, she put her hand on her tummy. Still flat, still nothing, still a secret for anyone who was outside this room.

"My heir…" Beron whispered, leaning forward, and grabbing her thin waist possessively.

Lucasta's smile and laugh echoed in the room, overjoyed for the first time since her marriage to Beron. More than joy, it was a happiness she had never felt in her entire life. She was becoming a mother.

In a mere ten months, she would hold her baby against her chest. This small bundle of hope was enough to make all those years, all those tears, worth it.

Beron put a spell on her to ensure no one, and especially not enemies, would know of her condition, but a few months later, as she started showing, he announced in a massive ball his soon-to-be heir. He had never been more loving, more tender, than he was with Lucasta in the months that followed. She lost count of the number of times when she caught him staring at her, or staring at her growing belly, and a smile never cease to pull on her lips at the attention, at the spark of pride in Beron's eyes.

Her sisters and her mother were ecstatic, of course. Oriana had married three years ago and was hoping for a child soon, though patience was necessary for such a blessing. Säde was still one of the greatest jewels of the Autumn Court and now that she was not just Meallan's daughter, but also the sister of the Lady of the Autumn Court, boxes and boxes of jewels, dresses and exotic gifts piled up for her. She didn't seem inclined on settling down yet, appreciating the attention that Beron had stopped giving her some time after his marriage with Lucasta.

The ten months went by so quickly, and Lucasta endured with barely any scream or tears the birth of her first son: Eris Vanserra, heir of the Autumn Court.

Those last few months she had been certain that her heart had mended, and she had fallen in love again, with her son, but the moment she held him in her arms, the wriggling, crying, red-faced baby, she realised that any love she had ever felt was nothing in comparison to the love she felt for that small, innocent soul.

Beron wasted no time in announcing the birth of a son, and as soon as Lucasta had recovered enough, he expected her in bed again.

And Hell was back.

He was lenient at first, when she refused him, claiming exhaustion and the need to take care of Eris, but Beron quickly grew impatient. His voice was firmer, harsher, orders she couldn't refuse. His grip on her arm was tighter. He wouldn't push her into the bed, he would throw her onto it. She tried to fight it back at first, obviously, with her mere strength and her fire, but his power was stronger. His fists were too much. And despite the tears of pain and despair, she endured it all. For herself, and for Eris. He needed his mother to be strong enough so he wouldn't become anything like Beron. She would swear it to herself, night after night, after night, after night…

Anything she endured, it was for Eris. For Eris. For Eris. For her light. Her joy. Her everything.

Luckily, it didn't take long for Lucasta to be with child again. Only a year and a half after Eris' birth, Beron was elated once more, and tender once more, and gentle once more. They waited a few weeks, for the court's doctor to inspect Lucasta body with a magic that was beyond anything she could understand.

"The baby is growing in perfect health, my Lord and Lady." He announced after having a look in her body.

Lucasta's smile of relief and joy appeared on her face, her hand already caressing the small bump.

"What's the gender of the baby?" Beron asked, a few feet away from the bed, his hands behind his back.

"A girl, my Lord. Congratulations."

Lucasta's eyes sparkled, already listing the names of baby girls she had grown fond of. Beron's frown was a sudden storm cloud, darkening her sun. Instinctively, her hand tightened over her tummy.

"I don't want a girl. I only want male heirs. Get rid of it." He ordered, turning around.

Lucasta's blood turned cold and she sat straighter in the bed, her eyes widening.

"B-but, my Lord…" The doctor stammered.

"What? I just asked you to get rid of that child."

"Though at this stage the procedure would be mostly benign… there is still a risk, for the mother to undergo consequences…" The doctor explained slowly.

"What sort of consequences?"

"Infertility, inability to have a child again. Though Lady Lucasta is still young and in good health, there is a minor risk."

Beron seemed to ponder it for a moment, but then he shook his head.

"She's young and fertile. Make sure she doesn't die and can still have children. Proceed with my order."

"Beron!" Lucasta exclaimed, standing up suddenly.

He whipped towards her so suddenly, she froze. She had never raised her voice against him, she had never asked anything, never pleaded for anything. She put her hands over his forearm, his frown deepening.

"Please, no! Don't do that! There is a risk, even minor! And I… I… I don't want to lose this child! Please…"

"I don't need a useless, emotional girl. I need heirs to ensure my throne goes to my kin."

"Beron, I never asked anything of you, I am begging you–"

"THIS IS AN ORDER!" He shouted.

He whipped around, his hand flying and hit Lucasta's temple. The hit was so violent she fell against a table and chairs flipped down. Her hand immediately went to her tummy, ignoring the warm blood rolling down her temple. Nurses, servants, and the doctor ran to her to help her up but Beron was unshakable:

"Get rid of that child. This is an order!" he hissed.

"No! NO! Beron, NO! PLEASE! NO!"

She cried, sobbed, begged, and screamed, but nothing would have him listen. He ignored her pleas, and the doctor, having no choice but compel to the will of his High Lord, had her asleep not long after. She was still crying when she lost consciousness. The procedure was quick and a success. The unwanted child was gone, and she had suffered no consequence.

Lucasta, in the weeks that followed, was a hollow shell. The only reason why Beron agreed to give her time was because the doctor lied in the recovery time she would need and because he got distracted with the annual Autumn Hunt.

Lucasta's only relief and joy was that Eris was safe and sound and all right and away from all this blood and chaos. She would go to him everyday, take him from his nurse's arms, and she would cuddle him and sing to him for hours and hours and hours, until both were asleep. His big brown eyes, so innocent, watched her with so much love and awe, it broke her heart that she had lost her baby because of Beron's cruel selfishness.

When Beron returned from the long weeks of hunting, he had expected to find his wife obedient and recovered. Instead, she was standing, rigid as a rock, on the furthest side of her bedroom.

"I was expecting you in my chambers tonight," he said, frowning as he approached her from behind, quietly, like a hunter ready to strike his prey.

"I had assumed one of your whores would have kept you company, my lord." She answered without moving.

He grabbed her shoulder and forced her around, sneering in her face. He almost started to see the fire burning in her russet eyes. It wasn't anything like his power, his cruelty, his superiority. It was pure fury, hatred for everything he was.

"You…" he hissed, abruptly grabbing her face with one hand, "You have a duty, to me, your husband and your High Lord and it is to give me heirs. Go in my chamber right this instant to execute this duty!"

"So you can kill my baby another time?!" she exclaimed, pushing him away.

"Is this what this is about?! I need heirs, male heirs! Not useless females!" he shouted.

"I cannot control such things, taking a child away from me is wrong and cruel–"

"You– how dare you question your High Lord! Your husband!"

She turned around to face him, her red hair like rising flames but he was already grabbing her. She fought back, scratching his face, spitting at him, trying to kick but fire erupted from his hands, hot enough that it burnt her. A scream escaped her, and it was the opening he needed to force her around and ripped her dress. Lucasta sobbed, from the pain and the shame. Beron held her down as he forced her to execute her duty. It was painful, even more than her wretched wedding night. She scratched the table and tried to get away, but he would only strengthen his grip on her.

Once he was done with her, he just left her to fall on her knees on the floor, her torn clothes barely able to cover her bruising body. Her sobs didn't cease, her head bowed down, as he smoothed his clothes and hair.

"Deny me again, and Eris will be the one to get burnt. Understood?" he growled.

Her sobs ceased. She never answered this threat and he didn't wait for any. As the door closed, she raised her head, her eyes burning again, despite the still-wet tears on her face.

She hated him, she hated him, she hated him, she hated him–

But Eris, Eris, Eris… She loved him and everything she did, everything she suffered was so he could keep on smiling, so he could keep on looking at her with his big, innocent eyes. He deserved the world and all the happiness. If only she could protect him from Beron's wrath.

Lucasta didn't like Beron, he was a cruel and pathetic snake, but there was something even worse with the King of Hybern and his emissaries. She couldn't explain why they seemed so off, why she was so reluctant, each and every time they were invited to the Autumn Court.

Perhaps it was because of that accident this one time. She had been looking for Eris for a while, all his nurses had no idea where he was. There was no use asking Beron, he wouldn't even deign answer her request. She eventually found her beautiful toddler, far away from his usual quartiers, and he wasn't alone. An envoy from Hybern was giving some sort of snack to Eris, the small child eagerly accepting it. It was the smile, that huge, wicked smirk, that made Beron's cruelty pale in comparison, that spurn her to act.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lucasta shouted, her fire erupting from her hands.

Hybern's High Fae screamed as he got burnt and she ran to Eris who started crying, panicked by the sudden action. She held him up and looked down at the male who was wiggling, screeching insults and attracting guards and courtiers. Rapidly, there was a small crowd, and Beron appeared.

"What is the meaning of this?!" he shouted, eyes going from the injured guest to his wife.

"He was attacking Eris!" she answered, tightening her grip on her young son, still quietly sobbing against her shoulder (even so small, he already knew to smother his cries around Beron).

"I wasn't! I wasn't, you evil bitch! You whore! You–"

"Silence!" Beron exclaimed, looking down at him and fire appearing at his fists, "What did he do to my heir and son?!"

"He tried to poison Eris!" Lucasta exclaimed, whispers already travelling in the entire court of what had just happened.

Beron looked down at the male, his eyes lighting up in a fiery rage that his family, his heir, his pride, had been attacked.

"I wasn't! I swear, my lord! I was only… only giving him a fruit from the Island of Hybern! He likes sweet fruits, so I decided to offer him one! That is all!"

He pointed his burnt hand towards the half-burnt red apple that had rolled on the floor. Beron picked it up, sniffed it, then glanced at Lucasta with a sneer on his face.

"An apple. A simple apple."

And those simple words were enough to send shivers down her back. She held Eris even closer to her chest, hiding his baby face against her shoulder. Beron threw the apple down at her feet, the promise of what was yet to come. He didn't bother helping the injured male as he walked away, followed by his courtiers.

Lucasta felt shame warm her cheeks, and tears prickle her eyes, but when the burnt male looked over his shoulder, with that grin, that wicked grin, she sobered up. She knew she hadn't missed the threat, Hybern was dangerous, and Prythian had invited the monsters right into their courts.

Beron punished her for her actions, of course. And of course, Hybern didn't show any more threat, which only proved to Beron that he had married a foolish wife.

Then she was with child again. Beron was sweet and tender again. And she shook every time she put her hand on her belly, waiting in agony for the three months to pass to determine the baby's health and gender. The relief she felt when the doctor said it was a male was enough to make her cry for hours afterwards. Beron merely nodded and smiled, then went back to his occupations.

As her pregnancy went on, Beron's protectiveness intensified. Tensions were rising against Hybern. Until one night screams woke her up. Her hands went to her big belly and the smell of blood and smoke immediately rose her up.

"Eris! Eris!" She screamed, hurrying to another room where she knew he was.

"Mommy! Mommy!" he called in return.

She turned around but Beron was walking away with Eris crying out for her. Beron put Eris in his most trusted and powerful general's arms, and they disappeared in the smoke.

"ERIS!"

Beron turned towards her, barely spared her a glance, and gave his orders. Another general winnowed to her and before she could do anything, he was winnowing yet again. She saw the estate in flames, screams of an attack. And they winnowed, again and again. She was sick, from distress and because of her condition, but he barely waited.

They finally arrived in the deepest part of the forest, in a small cabin, where nothing, not even the stars could be seen.

"Where is Beron?! Where is my son?! What's going on?!" she asked frenetically, rubbing her tummy.

The stress was terrible for the baby and he kept kicking her, expressing his worry for his mother.

"Hybern has attacked. High Lord Beron has sent his family in all corners of Autumn to be kept safe."

Cold shivers ran down her back. She was sweating and dizzy. She leaned on a table and she bit her lower lip.

"The baby… the baby is coming…" she breathed into the night.

"What?" The general asked, baffled.

"The baby is coming!" she exclaimed, feeling the vaguely familiar pain of childbirth contracting her body.

"This isn't the right time, hold it back," he answered with a wave of his hand.

She glared at him, baring her teeth. He startled and took a step back.

"I am in the middle of nowhere and my baby is about to be born. Go get a doctor right this instant, or you'll have to assist the birth yourself!"

He hesitated, obviously conflicted, then decided that risking his High Lord's wrath was better than attempting being a midwife.

He winnowed away, and a few minutes later, guards surrounded her, panicked more by her screams of pain than by the possibility of being attacked by Hybern, as hidden as they were. The doctor and three midwives arrived next and they got to work.

It was faster than for Eris', but far more painful. She held her baby boy at dawn, tears streaming down her face as he screamed and screamed even if he was born too soon.

"Altan," she whispered to which he wailed even more.

She sobbed in joy as a midwife took the baby from her. She leaned against her pillows as the general came back and turned to the doctor.

"I'll take the young heir to his decided location," he said.

"W-wait," Lucasta stammered, trying to sit up.

She didn't have time to call her baby's name, his crying was the last thing she heard as they winnowed away. Her shout of pain made birds fly away.

The hours of crying turned into dull days, which turned into stressful weeks in hiding. They changed locations often, and never told her where her babies were. Eris and Altan. Were they safe? Were they far away from the battles, the war?

Before she knew it, months had gone by, months in hiding, recovering, and running away. The war continued and the High Lords fought against Hybern for the humans in the South. Eventually, she was brought back to a mansion she thought she would never see again.

"Father!" she shouted, running across the courtyard.

Despite the anger of what her parents had done to her, the relief of seeing them, of seeing them safe and sound and in their estate, was beyond compare. They hugged her and soon, Säde and Oriana ran to her as well and they fell in a leap on the floor, hugging and crying. Lucasta asked after her babies, but her father only knew that Beron was safe and sound (which she didn't care about) and had put the children to safety all this time.

"I hated knowing you scattered around Prythian, being unable to protect you. Beron is too busy with the war to ensure your safety. I had to have you back." Meallan explained that evening.

"I don't think Beron cares about my safety," she mumbled.

"He does! He kept you safe all this time! And so are Eris and Altan! You must have faith in him!" her mother exclaimed, clapping her hands over her daughter's.

She wasn't wrong, and as long as Eris and Altan were safe, Lucasta would be all right, but… but… she couldn't help but feel that she should be with them. Not some random general who would traumatize them.

Her father had protected the house in the forest, deep and far away from the battles. Beron had agreed on letting Lucasta go there, as long as she was protected by many soldiers.

Somehow, Hybern found out.

They attacked the same night. With ash-arrows they ruthlessly eliminated every soldier, from Beron and Meallan. The latter was on his way for a battlefield but Lucasta's mother, despite all her wrongs, died to give her daughters time to escape.

Strangely, as they ran in the forest, in the middle of the night, pursued by Hybern's soldiers, Lucasta thought back on all the times, her sisters and herself, had played hide and seek in those woods. They had grown up here, they knew every stone, every river, every boulder, every hiding place. There was no way they wouldn't make it out of here, Hybern would–

A shriek resonated behind her and she turned around.

Oriana, and her long hair, laid on the forest ground.

"Oriana, NO!" Lucasta screamed.

"GO! GO ON!" Säde shouted, grabbing her and sobbing.

They kept running, their soldiers and guards long gone. They arrived at an intersection. Hybern's men were far behind but it was a question of seconds before they would catch up.

"G-go uphill, and hide in the cave, you know the one," Säde said, looking in the opposite direction.

Lucasta grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"Come with me! Y-you… there's only an open field downhill! We need to stay together, Säde!"

She turned around and grabbed her little sister's face. Tears streamed down her face, but determination shone in her eyes.

"I am not so easily defeated, little sister. You are the Lady of the Autumn Court and you have two sons who are waiting for your return. Go to the cave, you'll be safe there!"

"N-no!"

"GO!"

"Over there!" One of Hybern's soldiers shouted.

"For your sons," Säde breathed as she tore herself away from Lucasta's tight grip.

She ran downhill, screaming and making noise. When Lucasta heard the soldiers approaching, she panicked and bolted upwards. Half hidden behind rocks, she spared a look and saw all Hybern's men going downhill, after her sister.

For my sons, for Eris and Altan, Lucasta thought to herself as she ran faster and faster, upwards and onwards.

She will be fine, she will be fine, she will be fine, she will be fine, she will be–

The scream of agony that resonated in the forest made Lucasta halt. She fell on her knees, covering her mouth to smother her sobs even as she felt her chest cave into the pain.

Her sisters, her mother, her family, her children–

Leaves moved somewhere behind her, followed by clicking armour. She stopped breathing, she stopped crying. Tears and grief would come later, right now, she needed to survive to return to her boys.

She ran faster, faster, faster, higher and ran desperately across the cold and violent river. She slipped and was almost taken away but her hand grabbed a sharp rock. Blood ran down the stone and into the water and she pulled herself, and pushed against the current. Her dress weighed her down but she managed to go over the other side of the river and ran, the wet dress frigid against her heavy legs.

She heard faraway shouts, the words indistinguishable. But she went on and on and on. For Eris and Altan. For Eris and Altan, for Eris and Altan–

She stumbled down, twisting her ankle. A scream escaped her and she fell down the side of the hill side, straight into a pool of half frozen water. She gasped and struggled, swimming against the icy water. The waterfall was half frozen, some of it trickling down, but there was a way into the cave. The safest place in the environs, no one would know. No one knew except Säde and Oriana and– No one else–

She climbed over the rocks, through the half-frozen waterfalls, and hid behind a rock just as she heard voices above the waterfall. She gathered herself and put her legs through her arms, holding her breathe.

"I saw her going here!"

"There's no one!"

"She fell down here!"

Lucasta bit her lower lip until she drew blood, smothering her sob. Screams and shouts of pain suddenly erupted. She rose her head, still not daring to breath or make the slightest sound.

The waterfall suddenly turned crimson as blood filled its water.

More screams and sounds of battle. Men fell down, thrown around. Clicking metals and weapons. Screams and shouts and blood and–

The brightest light that had ever been erupted from outside the cave. Lucasta gasped and hid her face.

She heard the waterfall running down violently first. Then, she felt the humid heat, pearling against her skin and she realised that her clothes were almost dry and she was sweating and shivering.

A silhouette appeared on the other side of the waterfall. She gasped and tried to bury herself into the rock, frightened.

The water fell around the silhouette as he stepped into the cave.

Lucasta stopped breathing, not out of fear this time, but shock.

No one knew about the hidden cave behind the waterfall. No one knew except Säde and Oriana and–

"Helion," she breathed, watching her saviour as he gazed down at her with a face twisted in remorse and guilt.

Not baby Lucien, but baby Eris! Altan is a name i have chosen, it means "dawn" in Turkish :)

Next chapter : A Mother's Sacrifice

Yours Truly,

May