AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Here is Artie's POV from the night at the carnival! This chapter takes place a little bit after the last one ended off.

Just a little note that this chapter has a more ~mature~ theme than the rest of this story has had thus far. I'm also going to put a trigger warning for sexual assault, as (spoiler alert) Kitty and Artie have a meaningful conversation surrounding the topic.

Chapter 35: Saving All My Love For You

ARTIE

After a particularly intimate ferris wheel ride (one that left Artie frantically trying to cool himself down before the ride ended to avoid suspicion from the others), the group of friends had decided that it was time to head home for the night.

"Hey, my parents are out at some country club event tonight," Kitty had whispered softly in his ear from her spot beside him in their little gondola. It had gotten colder as the night went on, and Artie had offered Kitty his prized letterman jacket to keep her warm. As a result, he was now freezing (which he hoped he wouldn't reap the consequences for later), but having her cuddled up to him was keeping him decently warm. She was resting her hand on his upper thigh, rubbing circles with her thumb. "If you want to… come over. They won't be home until late, and when they do get home, they'll be so drunk that they probably won't even notice your car in the driveway."

"You think so?" Artie had replied, keeping his response short as his breath unexpectedly hitched.

"Yeah. Trust me, that's just how these types of things go," Kitty assured him. "You'll probably be able to sneak out tomorrow morning unnoticed, too. But we'll keep everything in the guest room, just in case."

"I just don't want them to think I'm…" He took in another sharp intake of breath. "Taking advantage of their sixteen-year-old daughter."

"Don't be ridiculous," Kitty said, planting a sweet kiss on his jawline. "They love you, you know that."

Artie was pretty limited when it came to being spontaneous, but after the last snowstorm that had come out of the blue and kept him at Kitty's house overnight, he'd learned the importance (and convenience) of keeping an emergency bag in his car. He had one there now and wasn't above using it for an impromptu sleepover at his girlfriend's house.

Artie had driven himself, Kitty, Sebastian, and Spencer to the carnival, and after dropping the other two boys off at their respective houses and asking Sebastian to cover for him with their parents, he set off towards Shoreview Estates, where Kitty's family lived.

Her house felt even bigger at night when nobody was home. The sound of his wheels and her footsteps on the marble-tiled floors echoed as they made their way through the house. Artie, who had his duffle bag on his lap, headed towards the guest room on the first floor, while Kitty disappeared upstairs to her own bedroom to freshen up.

Taking advantage of this time alone, Artie did his nighttime bathroom routine and brushed his teeth. The mirror over the sink was a little bit too tall for him to see himself, so he wasn't quite sure how he looked, but he hoped it wasn't too bad. He wet his hand with some water from the sink before running his fingers through his hair, hoping to bring some life back into it.

Artie wheeled back into the bedroom before pulling up beside the bed, locking his wheels in place, and transferring onto the mattress. The guest bed was a little higher than he was used to, but he managed just fine. After settling himself on top of the comforter, propping himself up with a mountain of pillows, he used the remote control on the bedside table to turn on the television while he waited for Kitty. He wasn't quite sure how it was possible for someone to take longer than him to get ready, but Kitty continued to surprise him.

He was about fifteen minutes into whatever rerun of Law & Order that was playing on the TV when there was a soft knock at the door.

"Come in!" Artie called, and the door opened a crack and Kitty slipped in. Artie immediately began laughing at her clothing choice. "You felt the need to keep that on?"

Kitty, who was freshly showered and now wearing a matching pajama set, was also still wearing Artie's letterman jacket. She looked so cute that he wished that he was wearing something sexier than just his boxers and a t-shirt.

"I like it because it reminds me of you," Kitty replied, climbing up on the bed, settling herself so that she was straddling his hips. "I really wish I could have been out there on the sidelines cheering while you were playing."

"You didn't miss much," Artie told her truthfully, placing his hands on her waist. He hadn't gotten a lot of playing time on the field, but he was thrilled to have been a part of the team all the same. "Though, I did get a touchdown once."

"That's exactly why I would have liked to have been there," Kitty said, placing her sleeve-covered hands on Artie's cheeks as she leaned in and took his lips in hers.

It was nice, making out with his girlfriend without the fear that they were going to get walked in on by his siblings or mom. He felt like they hardly ever had any privacy at his own house, but they didn't have to worry about anything like that at Kitty's.

Artie moved his hands onto her legs, adjusting the way that she was sitting on him and pulling her a little closer, all the while not breaking contact with her lips.

"I love you," Artie mumbled, causing her to smile into their kiss.

"I love you too."

Artie busied his hands by pushing the jacket off of her shoulders and tossing it onto the floor, as Kitty began to clear away some of the extra throw pillows on the bed that were just going to be in the way. The two of them worked together to pull back the comforter and top sheet before settling beneath the covers and returning to their makeout session.

Up until this point, they'd only gone as far as second base, but it looked like they were fixing to go all the way tonight, or, at least, make it to third.

As Artie liked to (mostly jokingly) point out from time to time, there was a huge age difference between the two of them. Due to this gap, he had a nagging feeling that he was a little bit more experienced than her when it came to the sex department. He hadn't wanted to rush into things, by jumping the gun and freaking her out. He knew that she'd initiate it when she was ready, and he didn't mind taking things slow.

Judging by the way that she was tugging at his shirt, indicating that she wanted him to take it off, apparently, she was ready now.

She sat back up, giving him some room while she helped to pull the cotton t-shirt over his head.

More often than not, Artie was wearing his usual, self-imposed uniform consisting of a sweater over a button-down shirt. Kitty had seen him shirtless a few times, of course- one notable time being the calendar shoot- but those times were rare. She couldn't help but be taken aback every time she saw his chiseled upper body.

"Damn, Artie," she said, running her hands over his pronounced biceps before leaning in to kiss him again. "You're ripped."

"Comes with the territory," Artie quipped, reaching his own hands up her shirt and moving them across the smooth skin on her back. He wasn't so sure that his rough, calloused hands were worthy of caressing skin as soft as hers.

She unbuttoned the front of the polo-style pajama top she was wearing, leaving her in only a pale pink lacy bra. She seductively tossed it on top of the pile of discarded clothes that was beginning to form on the floor before returning her attention to planting kisses on the side of his neck.

"You're so pretty," Artie found himself gushing as he stared up at his beautiful, shirtless girlfriend. Through the room's dim lighting, he could see her blush just slightly as she tucked a loose strand of her blonde hair behind her ear. He just couldn't believe how lucky he was.

Moving back up to his lips, Kitty leaned into another passionate kiss.

"Whoa…" Artie couldn't help but let out when they finally came up for air.

"Before we do this," Kitty began, sitting up and resting one hand firmly on Artie's bare chest. "There's… there's something you should know. About me. Before we… go any further."

"Okay," Artie replied, sensing that this was something serious based on the way that the tone of her voice had switched. "Go ahead."

She drew in a deep breath as she looked down at the concerned look in his eyes. She looked hesitant to say whatever it was she wanted to tell him. His hands were resting on her waist now, and he attempted to comfort her by moving his thumbs back and forth across her skin.

"When I was in sixth grade, I was… sexually assaulted."

Artie couldn't help but let out a quiet, surprised gasp as he felt like someone had punched him in the gut. He couldn't imagine how Kitty was feeling right now, and he just wanted to reach up and envelop her in a huge hug. It looked like there was still more that she wanted to share, though, and he wanted to be as supportive as possible, so he thought it best to keep his mouth shut and let her keep telling her story.

"It was, um, my friend Julie's older brother," Kitty went on. "One night, Julie had a sleepover, and in the middle of the night, he came down into the basement and crawled into my sleeping bag. At first, I thought it was a joke. I-I didn't know what was happening. But then, he started to, um… feel me… in places."

Kitty's voice cracked here, and even though the room was dark, Artie could see her fighting off tears.

"Sorry, that was kind of a mood killer," Kitty said, quietly, sliding off from her position on top of him into the spot next to him in the bed, turning away and drawing up the covers to her chin, as if suddenly too embarrassed to continue.

"No, no, Kitty, it wasn't," Artie assured her, scooting closer to her on the mattress and wrapping an arm around her waist from behind and snuggling his chin into the crook of her neck.

She paused for a minute, as if to take in his supportive embrace and collect her thoughts. After another deep breath, she continued.

"In the morning, I went straight home without saying goodbye. I couldn't tell my parents for a while. I was afraid of upsetting them or something. So, when I did tell them a few weeks later, they were confused. They didn't understand why I waited so long to say something about it. My mom called his parents, but all I could hear her say was how good of a kid he was and how she didn't know how something like that could happen."

Artie could hear the hurt in his girlfriend's voice. It was one thing to have something unthinkable like that happen to you at such a young age, but for her own parents to have been anything less than comforting… Artie found himself getting more and more upset on her behalf.

It seemed that just being in his arms, even though she was facing away from him, was helping Kitty to tell the story. With another loving squeeze from Artie, she kept going.

"Julie stopped talking to me after that, and she told everyone at school that I was spreading rumors about her brother. Then she told all of my other friends to stop talking to me too. Eventually, I decided that it'd just be easier to switch schools. So I did."

"Kitty…" Artie started to say before his voice trailed off. He honestly didn't know what to say. He could relate, to some extent, for it seemed like the confident cheerleader he knew now had had a lonely childhood like his own, but it was under completely different circumstances. He didn't want to say the wrong thing, so he just sighed and pulled her in closer, saying the only thing he could think of. "I am so sorry that happened to you."

Kitty rolled over in the bed so that she was facing Artie now. His own emotion-filled eyes locked with hers, and he used his thumb to wipe away the tears that were running down her cheeks.

"To this day, my parents- and now you- are the only ones that I've told. My sister doesn't even know. I guess I was just so sick of being victim-blamed by my friends at school that I didn't need to hear it from her, too," she said quietly, before changing the subject just slightly. "And I know it's a little late to be apologizing for this, but sorry for being a complete and total bitch when we first met. It's just that I have a hard time trusting guys. Even the sweet ones, like you. The bitchiness is just a defense mechanism. A bad one, I know, but… yeah."

"You don't have to apologize," Artie assured her, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "I can't imagine how hard that was for you. And I'm honored that you feel comfortable enough with me to have shared that. That was really brave of you."

Kitty moved closer to him so that she could rest her head on his chest as she wrapped her arms around him. "You needed to know that. If we do go all the way right now, you won't be my first, but my first time was so terrible that you might as well be. I love you, Artie. A lot. And I trust you. That's why I told you that story."

"I love you too," Artie told her truthfully. "And I understand. Well, not what you've been through. But… sex is kind of a big deal for me, too." Artie shrugged. "It's silly, I know, but up until I lost my virginity to Brittany during my sophomore year, I hadn't been sure how much sexual function I would even have, thanks to my injury and the surgeries that came afterward. And when I found out that I was… fully functional… down there… It felt like some kind of miracle. But Brittany just walked all over that experience for me. After that, I wasn't intimate with anybody for…" He let out a defeated sigh. "A long time. Until Quinn."

It was true; he'd had his fair share of girlfriends over the years, from Tina, to Brittany, Sugar, Quinn, Betty, and now Kitty… Throughout it all, though, the only other girl he'd been intimate enough to have sex with was Quinn. Even then, it was several months into their relationship. He wasn't the type of guy to sleep with just anyone.

"Now, Sebastian, on the other hand, before he was with Spencer, he'd make eye contact with a guy from across the room and, by the next morning, they would have slept together. It's nuts." Artie laughed. "I'm not like that. My ugly scars, skinny legs… It takes having a lot of trust in somebody for me to feel comfortable with showing them alllll of this."

Artie figured that since Kitty was so raw and honest with him, he owed her the same courtesy. He only hoped that it wasn't too obvious, the way that the vulnerability he was feeling was making him feel somewhat powerless.

"It's even hard for me to be in a swimsuit when I'm around anybody except for my family. That's why having that picture of me getting out of the pool included in the Men of McKinley calendar was such a big deal for me. It was me… I don't know, reclaiming my body. I guess I'd just never thought of myself as attractive before. Not like, I don't know, Sebastian, or Spencer, or Sam."

"Will you stop comparing yourself to them?" Kitty asked, in an attempt to make him feel better.

"No," Artie let out a laugh. "I'll probably never stop doing that. But, it's okay, because, over the last few months, I have learned to see myself as someone who can be sexy too. It sounds silly to say that out loud, but it's true."

Kitty lifted her head off of Artie's chest in order to meet his eyes and shook her head with a sweet smile.

"Sex with me is a little different than it is with other guys. It takes a lot of trial and error. A lot of discovery," Artie explained. "With the lack of sensation that I have below my waist, the places where I'm… most sensitive… changed to somewhere that I can actually feel them. That's part of the reason why having sex with Brittany wasn't a good experience for me; she wasn't willing to try anything that I'd like. Since then, I've learned more about my own body, and with time and experimentation, I've found ways to make it enjoyable for me. Sex isn't something I have frivolously, though. I want to know that I can really trust whoever it is that I'm having it with."

"And you feel comfortable enough with me?" Kitty asked, a soft smile gracing her lips.

"Of course I do. You're my girl. I love you."

They had now entered a new stage in their relationship; one where they share their deepest secrets, fears, and vulnerabilities. Artie's heart felt like it might burst with love and admiration for the girl before him. She had shared something incredibly personal and traumatic for her with him tonight, and all he wanted to do now was protect her from the world. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and never let go.

"Do you really want to do this tonight?" Artie asked after a few minutes of holding her in his arms. "Because I only want to do it if you're comfortable. I would never want to put you in the position that I was in with Britt. Never."

"Yes," she said confidently. "I do want to. I love you so much. You make me feel like the most important person in the world, and you've made me feel so loved and validated. I do want to do this. With you. Tonight."

I have known for a while that I wanted to include Kitty's story of her assault in here, but I couldn't bear to write about it in the same context as the show. It was completely out of character for both Sam and Artie to have reacted the way that they did, and it annoys me to no end that the writers had them do that and never showed any apology from them. Not cool, and I wanted to change that in my writing.

I hope that you all enjoyed this chapter, and that if you did, you'll leave me a review! :)