Chapter 35: First Meetings
Paul POV
"I'm gonna miss you so much baby" I held her in my arms. I didn't want to let her go!
She leaned up to kiss me "I'll miss you too. But it's only for a few weeks and anyway, you have your spirit journey to keep you occupied. Just promise me you'll be careful?"
I smirked "I promise I'll be careful-"
"-and I want to hear all about it when I get back-"
I chuckled "-and I want to hear all about your adventure when you get back. Go on, you're gonna miss your flight" I kissed her once more, twice more and then I let her go. Gyda approached me then.
"Don't worry Paul. I'll take good care of her" she promised me. She grasped my hand, but I rolled my eyes and pulled her into a hug.
She kissed me on the cheek "Look after yourself and… keep an eye on Edward for me, will you? I may be mad at him but I still care"
I chuckled "I'll keep an eye out for him, don't worry. Go on, your flight's leaving in 10 minutes. Have a great time! I love you!" I called out to Bella.
She turned and shouted back "I love you too!"
"Yeah, and me!" Gyda shouted after, smirking up a storm. I laughed. Then they joined hands as they walked towards their gate, Gyda carrying Bella's suitcase for her. I watched Bella go until I could see her no more, and with a sigh heavier than I could carry, I turned and left.
I was leaving for my journey in two hours. Jacob wanted to go with me, ever since I let it slip in the Pack mind. But I made it clear to him. This was something I needed to do alone. Besides, who would be in charge of the Pack if he were to come with me? What about Lauren? He just didn't think it through. I started Sam's truck up and left the airport, heading straight to my next destination.
Now, I had been weighing my options here. Do I or don't I? I finally agreed with myself that this needed to be done, so I was going there now to fix it. I wanted to start this journey fresh, no negatives from the past holding me back. It didn't take me long to get there, but I had already been sat in the truck for half hour, weighing my options once again.
Was I making a mistake doing this? Why did I even want to do this? Was I betraying my Mom by doing this?
I shut the engine off and got out before I convinced myself this didn't need to be done. Because it did need to be done. More than anything. I approached the house, it still looked exactly the same as it had the last time I was here. The front door was wedged open with an empty planting pot and the sunshine shone through the cracked windows onto the upturned and cracked floorboards in the hallway. I didn't call out as I entered the property, but I already knew he'd be here.
And he was here. Sitting on the couch, a bottle of liquor in hand, crying crocodile tears. I stood in the doorway, crossing my arms over my chest, lest I do something I regret before I'd even had a chance to speak to him. I leaned against the door frame, making it creak. That caused him to whip around and stand quickly. He used to fireplace to steady himself as he stared at me.
He squinted his eyes at me and then his mouth dropped open. He understood.
"It's you, isn't it? My Son?" his voice was strained through a sob that was held in his throat. But I didn't feel sorry for him. How could I? He brought all this on himself.
"I'm just Paul to you" I reminded him, in a low voice. I could hardly look at him. My eyes hovered somewhere between the floor and his feet, which were bare and dirty. He looked exactly the same as he had all those years ago.
"Paul" he said, letting my name flow into his mind.
He looked up at me again, in confusion "Why are you here?"
I scoffed "I could ask you the same thing-"
"-I've never left. I mean, I did for a while, after your mother… after she died-"
"-after she died?-" I laughed loudly "-after you killed her, you mean?"
"I didn't mean to kill her! I swear I didn't! Son, I loved your mother very much, I really did-"
"-don't spew your bullshit at me now. I had to watch whilst you killed her! You never cared for my Mom, never loved her. She was just your prize, wasn't she? That's all she was, right? Something to make you look a little less pathetic. It's a shame it didn't work, I mean, look at you!"
I never promised myself I'd hold my anger back. I didn't think a normal person would, when facing their abusive father for the first time since they were a child.
He didn't say anything. He put the bottle of liquor down on the rickety side table, that threatened to fall with the weight and sat down on the couch. He held his head in his hands.
"Why are you here? Didn't you find anything better elsewhere?" I said, breaking the silence.
He looked at me, his face dirty with tears that didn't touch my sympathy for him "I never had anything better. I'm pathetic, I know. I'm all the things you said. I want to make up for what I did-"
I walked over towards him, slowly, threateningly "Then you know what you gotta do, right? If you want even the teensiest bit of my forgiveness for what you did to my Mom, for what you did to us, then you'd go down to Fork's Police Station right now and hand yourself in. Then I might forgive you, a little bit"
He chuckled through his sobs "That's all I want to do Son! But I can't! I really can't!-"
"-why? You're not scared are you? You know, the same kind of fear that you put in my Mom's head? The way you made her feel like she was nothing, not good enough even for you. Do you know how scared I was to be a child living here? I didn't have any friends, I pushed everyone away, afraid that you'd do something to me or Mom for even considering that option!-" I was speaking through gritted teeth now. My wolf was close to the surface, but I had enough self-control to keep him at bay, for now.
"-it's not that. I'm not scared to hand myself in. But, it's complicated-"
I scoffed "-try me"
He took a deep breath and looked at me "I have another son. He lives on the reservation. He might even go to the same school as you, I don't know. But I thought I was doing good with him, until I left again-"
I laughed "-oh, of course, how convenient. Another son? Well, don't keep me waiting, who is this other son? It's probably bullshit, that's all that seems to come out of your mouth! As if you thought I wouldn't see through those crocodile tears you're throwing out-"
"-Embry-" he said, quietly, almost a whisper "-his name is Embry-"
My blood ran cold. It was like the deepest, darkest, coldest winter storm had penetrated my body and took over my bloodstream. My heart started beating faster, faster, faster. My wolf couldn't hold back anymore. I roared angrily and phased right there, crouching low and growling at this waste of a man-
"-woah, woah! Take it easy!" my father had retreated to the far wall of the small family room. My wolf took up most of the space. I didn't stop growling, my wolf lips had drawn back over my teeth. He shuffled down to sit on the ground.
Hey man, what are you doing phased in? -Embry
I couldn't help it! Just go, I don't want you to see this!- Paul
"Paul, please, don't hurt me. I'm sorry I killed your Mom, I'm so sorry! I'll never forgive myself for what I did, but please! Please don't kill me! Not that way!-"
Paul, who is that? – Embry
My father – Paul
Wait, what? That's your Dad? He looks kind of familiar – Embry
Just go Em! Phase back! -Paul
I'm not going anywhere! Are you going to kill him? You can't! -Embry
Just shut up and phase back! Go! -Paul
"Paul, listen to me. Do you know why you can do that? Turn into a wolf, I mean? It's me! I gave you that ability!-" I growled louder and he shut up.
Paul, seriously, do not kill him. Please don't kill him! – Embry
What's it to you if I do? Do you know what he's done?- Paul
Yes of course! But I told you I recognise him! -Embry
"You know Embry, I'm assuming? Paul, he is your brother. I'm sorry I betrayed your Mother with another woman, but please, just let me walk myself to the police station and I'll hand myself in, please don't kill me like this-"
Hang on -Embry
Embry, please I'm begging you, phase out! -Paul
Not happening man! I knew I knew that guy! He's the guy that used to be with my Mom! She used to tell me he was my Dad, but he always denied it! He just admitted it goddammit! - Embry
Embry, PHASE OUT! -Paul
"Are you talking to him now? Is that why you're quiet?"
I'm on my way, don't kill him, I'm serious. I want to talk to him too! – Embry
I didn't get a chance to reply to him, he had already phased out. I couldn't phase back now. I didn't have anything to wear. He still cowered on the ground, shivering in fear.
"Please son, please stop this… vendetta! If there was a way for me to make this right for your Mother, for you, you know I would do it. But killing me is just going to make you what I am! Don't be like me son, don't be pathetic like your father-"
I wasn't planning on killing him, but if he thought that's what I was going to do, then let him be scared for his life. Let him feel what my Mom felt before he took her life.
"You know why I am like I am? Like I was? It was my f-father. He did all of the things I did to you and your m-mother, he did it to me. I-I know it can't excuse what I did, but I was never taught right from wrong! I- I knew what I did to your mother was wrong, I know it now. But at the time, I was acting how my father t-taught me to act. I never wanted to be that way, I-I-I wanted to be different-" he began to sob again "-please don't become like me son. Be different. Be good. Be a better man-" he stopped as sobs shook his body.
I stopped growling, though I stay phased in. I would have phased back already if it weren't for my lack of clothing situation. My wolf's ears perked up at the sound of footsteps coming towards the house. A few seconds later, Embry walked into the room, eye wide at the sight of me as a wolf. Then he turned to look at our father, and then the anger set in.
"You! You always denied me! Always!-" he yelled. My father cowered even lower "-what made you suddenly claim me as your son? Huh? Was it the guilt? Killing Paul's Mom wasn't enough for you so you had to make my Mom's life hell as well? You walked out on us! You left my Mom broken!-" he threw a pair of shorts at me. I phased back and threw them on and went over to Embry.
"Embry, what do you want to do?" I whispered to him, too low for our father to hear. He just watched on, panic stricken, not knowing what our decision would be.
"We're taking his ass to Charlie, let him deal with him" he spoke through gritted teeth and spat on the floor at our father's feet.
"Sons, please. Just let me go, think of your mother Paul! She wouldn't want this!-"
"-I'm not sure what she would want, seeing as you took that away from her!-" I spat back at him.
"My Mom thought you would already be in jail, so it doesn't really matter what she would think either-" Embry added.
"Get outside now! Out!" I lunged at him, lifting him with my strength and dragging him through the door, into the hallway and throwing him to the ground by Sam's truck. Then he did something stupid. He tried making a run for it. Embry ran after him, jumped on his back and pinned him to the ground.
"-get off me! Get OFF!"
Embry ripped his head back, to growl into his ear "Why? What are you gonna do? Beat me again? Nah, not this time. Were you honestly that stupid, that you thought your son's wouldn't grow up? We have three times the strength you have old man, and we're finally putting it to good use-" he threw his head back to the ground and started dragging him by his feet towards the truck. I was only too happy to hold the door open for him.
"-I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't! I don't want to die in jail! You don't know what they do to people like me in there! I'll die-"
"-at least we'll have a clean conscience" I muttered, as Embry roughly threw him into the back of the truck and slammed the door shut. I climbed in and drove off, never looking back at the home that almost ruined my life.
Bella POV
"Bella, dinner is on the table"
"Okay, just give me a minute"
My world had changed in less than 24 hours. Was it only this morning I was saying goodbye to Paul, temporarily? The thick forest of Forks, Washington was replaced with tall, gothic buildings, churches and a different kind of forest. The trees here were taller, thinner and even the smell here was different.
I suddenly felt homesick. What I wouldn't give to just run back to Washington to hold Paul one more time.
A gentle "Hey" greeted me from behind.
I turned around "Sorry you had to hear that" I mumbled guiltily.
I was standing on the balcony of Gyda's rented apartment in the heart of Stockholm. She was trying her best, bless her, trying to help me settle in. But I couldn't help it. My chest felt a little tight tonight.
She rested her hands on the balcony railing next to me "It's alright you know, to feel the way you're feeling-"
"-I know, but I shouldn't think about home right now. I agreed to come here with you-"
She chuckled under her breath "-I can take you home if you want me to, just say the words and I'll book the flights-"
"-no! Don't be ridiculous! I'll get over it, I just needed a minute to gather my thoughts"
She stood next to me, watching the busy city below us. She placed her hand on top of mine and gave it a gentle squeeze.
"Don't worry, we're only in Stockholm for tonight, we're going somewhere else tomorrow" she smirked.
"This place is… really beautiful. The castles, the buildings, the forest, the lakes. Everything's just beautiful-"
"-yeah it is-" she smiled to herself "-but this isn't the home I left behind. This is as new to me as it is to you. Let's explore it together, yes?" she ducked her head to look at my face.
I nodded, she was right, of course. "Let's go and have dinner. What did you make anyway?" I asked. On the way to this apartment, in a rented car, Gyda had stopped at a supermarket to pick up some things for tonight's dinner. But she didn't tell me what she had got. I guess I was about to find about. Then when we got to the apartment, she made me a coffee, tossed me a book and told me to entertain myself on the balcony for a few hours.
"Well, I thought I'd make your first night a little easier-" she led me to the kitchen table, where a tray of lasagne, a plated brisket and Sloppy Joe's were sitting there, waiting for my eyes.
I looked at her with admiration "You did this for me?"
"Well, I thought I'd bring your home here, for tonight anyway. That's, uh, Grandma Inola's brisket recipe, and the lasagne is Connie Littlesea's and the Sloppy Joe's are your father's recipe. He gave it to me just before we left. I knew you liked these certain dishes, but I had to read a couple of minds to get them, except Charlie's. It might not taste the exact same, but I tried my best-" I lunged at her, throwing myself into her arms. I didn't know someone could be so thoughtful.
"Gyda, thank you so much" I muttered through a sob that threatened to break from my throat.
Gyda held my face in her hands and looked at me thoughtfully "Come on Swan, let's eat some food and then we can sit on the balcony and talk. Looks like you need to and I'm only too happy to listen"
We both plated up with something of each of the dishes and sat to eat on the balcony. The apartment Gyda rented was nice. It was small, very modern and it was situated right in the centre of Stockholm, so I could see everything that was happening around me. The buildings stretched for miles, and even then in the distance, I could see the forest begin. It was calm and peaceful here.
"Well, I think I'm a pretty good cook, if I do say so myself"
I giggled "You are a good cook" I wiped my mouth on a napkin whilst Gyda took the dirty dishes to the sink. She came back carrying drinks for both of us and then our conversation started.
"Can I ask you something?" she said, cautiously.
"Of course"
She smiled thoughtfully for a minute "When did you know you were in love with Paul?"
I sighed "Uh, I guess when he was in the coma, I'm not sure if you know about that-"
"-I know the gist of it-"
"-right. Well, I guess when I realised that he might not come back, it freaked me out. Totally terrified me. I thought to myself why do I feel this strongly if I'm happy being friends with him? The question was in my mind from the start to the finish. I tried to look at my life without him in it, before he imprinted on me and I mean, it's difficult to think about. I remember when we were kids. He always teased me, but there was something about him that drew me in. When I didn't know if he was coming back, I felt frightened. What would my future look like without him in it? Would I cope without him? In the end, I guess I just stopped lying to myself. I didn't want him to leave me because I loved him. I wanted him to come back so we could have a shot at a relationship-" I shrugged my shoulders "-people think that we rushed into it, but I don't care what they think. I love him, and that's all that matters to me"
Gyda nodded her head, thinking "You know I've seen inside his mind. He loved you from the moment he laid his eyes on you-"
"-yeah, when he imprinted-"
She shook her head and laughed quietly "No Bella. The first time he laid eyes on you. You were only both children, so it wouldn't have meant much to either of you back then. But the reason he teased you, the reason he always wanted you to be around so he could tease you, it was because he wanted you to stay with him. I saw it all. He felt happy when you were around and then of course, he had to go home to his father. You were the light in his life when he had none. You always have been"
Then I heard it in my head. The memory overcame me.
"Leave me alone Paul!"
He picked himself up off the ground, rubbing his scraped knee. I had pushed him down because he had pushed me down. Fair was fair. I turned and walked away, going back to my Dad who was waiting with Billy and Jacob. Jacob had run towards me when he seen I was upset.
"Bella, what did Paul do?" he asked, pulling a leaf out of my hair.
I sniffed loudly "He pushed me over! I want to go home!"
"Aw please don't go! My mom is bringing out popsicles now! Look, she even made you a strawberry one-"
Sarah Black, in her prime, walked towards us on the beach, carrying a tray of frozen popsicles she had made for us children the night before.
"Here you go, my sweethearts. Yep, the strawberry is yours Bella. Paul sweetie! Come and get a popsicle before they're all gone!"
I turned to watch Paul walk towards us, he looked sad. Sarah handed him an orange popsicle.
"Thank you Mrs Black-"
"-oh sweetie, you know you can call me Sarah like everyone else"
Paul looked at Sarah, with big eyes that were too big for such a small face "Thank you Sarah". He took his popsicle and walked towards the beach, where he sat in the sand and ate it alone.
Jacob took my hand "Come and see the rocks I found yesterday!" he dragged me towards Billy, who sat in the sand next to my Dad. This was before he had his wheelchair. He and Charlie were discussing a new fishing season.
"Jacob, eat your popsicle before it melts" Billy reminded him, though Jacob's hand was already starting to hide underneath a green trickle.
"Dad, where did you put my rocks? I want to show Bella the special one!"
Billy chuckled heartily, put his hand into his pocket and pulled out a stone that was in the shape of a heart. Jacob took it excitedly from his Dad and handed it to me.
"Pretty cool, right?"
I turned the stone over in my hands. I remember it was smooth, almost like marble. I turned to look at Paul. He was still alone. Sitting cross legged, looking out at the ocean.
"Wait here! I gotta go get it from my bedroom!" Jacob announced excitedly and ran back up to the house with his Mom.
"Billy, please can you hold my popsicle for me?" I asked, handing him the little stick at the end.
He chuckled and held it "Don't leave it too long or I'll eat it all up!" he joked.
"Sweetheart, not too close to the water please, and stay where I can see you!" Charlie had called after me.
I walked down the beach, towards Paul, and sat next to him.
"Go away Bella!" he hissed.
"No, I don't want to! Why can't I sit with you?"
"Why don't you just go home with your Dad! No one wants you here-"
"-that's not true! Jacob wants me to stay, and so does Quil! You're the only one with the problem!"
He looked at me with an angry expression.
"I just want to be by myself, okay?" he hissed. I could see the remains of his popsicle being eaten up by the waves licking onto the sand.
"I don't like it when you're mean to me Paul. Why can't we be friends?"
"I don't like having friends!"
"But why?"
"Because friends means they have to like you back and no one likes me-"
"-maybe I'd like you if you stopped pushing me around!"
"I said go away!" he pushed me over again, into the sand and roughly turned himself away, so his back faced me. I remember I held back my tears as I pushed the heart shaped rock in the sand next to him. I left to go and see what Jacob had to show me.
"How cool is this? Dad found it yesterday and I've never seen it before! What is it called again Dad?"
Billy chuckled at his son's enthusiasm "That's coral son. You don't find much around here but luckily Charlie and I caught some on our lines yesterday. Pretty cool, huh Bella?"
I nodded my head "Sure is. Can I touch it?" I asked. Jacob dropped the coral into my hand and I thought it felt rough. It had lots of little holes in it and looked a bit like a sponge. But sponges were soft, and this was very hard.
"Mom said I can get a fish! Isn't that even cooler?"
I was instantly jealous "If you get a fish, I want a fish too! Can I Daddy? Can I get a fish? Pleaaase?"
Charlie chuckled "What about Mr Stuffin's? Don't you like him no more?"
"I'll always love Mr Stuffin's, but maybe he'd like a fish too!"
Charlie laughed again "Well, maybe if you remember to put your toys away after you've finished playing with them, I'll think about it"
I ran to him and hugged him "Oh thank you Daddy! I can't wait to tell Mommy!"
Mr Stuffin's was a teddy bear that I had adored. He went everywhere with me back then.
Sarah came back then, sitting next to Billy and pulled Jacob into her lap.
"I think I remember I said we could get a fish if you finished all your homework straight after school-"
"-I'll start tomorrow I promise! Hey, can I get a goldfish? I've always wanted a goldfish-"
Sarah chuckled and kissed Jacob's hair "We'll get you a goldfish, if you promise to do your homework every day, straight after school, okay?"
"I can do that! I promise!"
"Aw, Paul sweetie. Are you going already?" Sarah said. I turned around and saw Paul trying to sneak past us, towards a woman who was waving for him frantically at the top of the beach.
"Thank you for the popsicle Sarah" he said in a small voice, and ran off to join the woman, who must have been his Mom.
I thought I saw him tuck the rock I had gave him into his pocket.
"How old were you there?" Gyda asked, sipping on her drink.
I shook my head, trying to bring myself back to the now "Uh, five or six I think-"
"-you were all so cute and small. I have to admit though, it was tough to watch Paul like that. A kid shouldn't look like that"
I sighed sadly "I didn't understand it back then. I was only a kid-"
"-did you ever get that fish?" she asked, smirking.
I giggled "No, I forgot about the whole thing a few days later. Jacob got a fish though and he said we could share it"
We were silent for a few minutes then, just listening to the sounds of the streets below. I had some of my drink, apple juice I think, and thought about something I wanted to ask Gyda.
"Now, it's my turn to ask you something" I said, putting my finished glass back onto the table.
Gyda gave me her full attention "Go for it"
"Why is it that you don't like companionship? You said before that you spent most of your existence alone and I guess I was curious why you didn't want people around? Surely you got lonely?"
I had been wanting to ask her this question for a long time. She seemed fine around the Pack, around the Cullen's.
"Ugh, that's kind of a long story. But I suppose it all stems from my transformation. You know of course that I didn't choose it, I mean, which one of us did?-" she chuckled "-I guess I prefer to be alone because after I was turned into this, I knew I had already lost everything that meant something to me. I'd lost my husband, my son and my mother-"
"-you could have gone back to Har, you could have easily fought off everyone else-"
"-but at what cost? I was a young vampire, I was dangerous. What if I had killed my son? I couldn't risk it. I knew the Earl would make good on his side of the deal, and Har was looked after. There was no need for me to return and cause havoc in his life-"
"-but, after you had controlled your thirst, after you'd got over the first few years, why didn't you find someone? Surely you met other vampires?"
She was quiet for a moment, lost in thought as she watched the first lights of the night turn on from the buildings opposite.
"You have to understand Bella. When I was turned, I hated myself. I hated what I was, what I had become. Sure, it was easier to be a vampire. Never having to sleep was a bonus. I was able to explore everything. I saw my comrades sail back home, without me. You don't know how badly I wanted to go with them, to see Har again. But I would have killed them all, and then I would have killed everyone at home. There would have been nothing left if I had gone back. I wasn't going to be responsible for the destruction of my people. I was safer staying in England, alone. So, that's what I did and I just grew accustomed to being on my own. Of course, after I had got over the initial thirst, I did make some human friends, you know, mixed with them and all that. They thought I was a gift from God, ha! Oh, how far from the truth they were" she got lost in thought again, but I waited patiently for her to continue.
She turned to look at me, with a smirk "Of course, it wasn't until the 1800's came, I decided on a change. I was mature enough to control my thirst, and I had been feeding on animals for 500 years, what's the harm in swimming to America? It was a long bloody swim, let me tell you. I went to New York at first and kept to Central Park during the day. I only came out and wandered the streets at night. I stayed there until the new century had turned, and then decided it would be best if I travelled on. I ended up in Chicago and stayed for about 30 years, I think-"
"-Chicago-" I thought aloud "-that was where you first met Edward?"
She nodded, rubbing her chin with her fingers "Yeah. 1934 it was. I remember because I liked to collect newspapers to keep an eye on the date. Something like that to a creature that never dies, well, we'd lose track. Anyway, I was on my way to meet a friend, a human friend, she was having a hard time and I was there to lend her a shoulder to cry on. I was a few houses away when I smelled the blood, so naturally, I went to investigate. Of course, I'd met others like me, but seeing him was different. I don't know how to explain it-"
"-so what did you do?"
She chuckled "Well, I got him the hell off of the human he was feeding on. Though much can't be said for that particular human, he had been in all the papers. He was better off dead, out of the way so he couldn't hurt anyone else. Give me your hand, I'll show you-" she extended her hand towards me, and I took it quickly, wanting to see a glimpse of her life in 1934.
The first time that Gyda had met Edward.
I was taken to a café on the high street. Gyda was sitting at a table with a woman with brunette bobbed hair, held in place at the front with a few pins. The woman wore a light blue dress that fell to her knees and held a pair of white gloves. Gyda wore beige pants with laced boots, a white blouse that tied to her throat and a grey jacket on top. Her hair was different here. She wore it in a low bun, with finger curls edged along her hairline.
"Thank you for your kind words Gyda, I'm so grateful that I have you to talk to, especially since Cynthia is being so rude lately-"
Gyda chuckled "Well, not much can be said for Cynthia, my dear Valerie, but of course I'm always happy to lend an ear to you. Have you heard from Stuart?" Gyda's accent was English, the same as it was now.
The woman, Valerie, sighed loudly "No, nothing. It's difficult without the resources, but I cannot find him. I search every night, going to places that he might be, but still, there is nothing to report. I miss him, I can't help but think something bad has happened to him-"
"-Valerie, love, we're in the midst of the Depression. It pains me to think that you're out wandering the streets alone at night. You know how desperate some people are, especially during these times-"
"-what else can I do Gyda? You have been such a help to me but I need my husband home"
The scene was transported to Gyda walking along the street, houses towered over her on both sides. It was quiet, no one else was around. I followed after her along the street, where she kept her head down, away from the lamps that lit the street bright. Then she stopped, and I would have bumped into her if I weren't in a memory. I walked to face her front, where her nose was twitching, sniffing the air. Then she whipped her head back the way she had come and proceeded to walk towards the scent I already knew was blood. I followed her for a long time, she kept her pace human slow, until we entered the heart of the city. For a city like Chicago, you'd expect some sort of noise, the hustle and bustle of city life. But there was nothing and no one. Stores were boarded up, newspaper clippings and posters of people begging for jobs, any jobs were scattered over the streets, pinned to lamp posts. I tore my eyes away and realised Gyda was well in front of me now. I sprinted to catch up and then she stopped suddenly, turning into an alley between two buildings. There was a strange sound coming from the end of the alley, like a weird sucking sound, mixed with whimpering. Gyda stopped.
"Are you stupid?" she said loudly. Edward, dressed in a suit, long black coat and a black hat, with his hair slicked back on his head, turned and crouched in front of Gyda, hissing. I saw her roll her eyes and step forward.
"You shouldn't do that here. There is a forest a few miles north of here, go there-"
Edward cocked his head to the side "-you're like me?"
Gyda chuckled "Am I running away from you screaming? Of course I'm like you! What the hell are you doing?" she jutted her chin towards the body of the man Edward was feeding from.
"It's nothing to do with you. Be on your way-"
"-oh get off your high horse Edward. We both know that deep down, you don't want to live like this"
Edward look confused, for only a second, and then he smiled "You have the same ability as me, did you know?"
"Yes, I did figure that out when I heard your very loud thoughts. So, answer the question, are you stupid?" she stepped forward some more and now I stood on the edge between Gyda and Edward.
"Of course I'm stupid. I left behind something far greater for this-" he almost sounded disgusted with himself.
"Let me guess, it wasn't what you were expecting? This rebellion?-" she smirked "-go back to Carlisle. You know he's waiting for you-"
Edward moved closer, hovering his face very close to Gyda's, almost as if he were about to kiss her "What are you going to do about it? Hm?" he threatened. Gyda smiled wickedly, before headbutting him.
She next spoke through gritted teeth "Stop being a waste and go home! Stop playing God Edward, it's not a good look on you. What about Esme? Hm? I can see you care about her, so go home to them both-"
"-get out of my head!"
Gyda shrugged her shoulders "Why should I? I can feel you probing around in mine, fair is fair"
Edward didn't answer, he was quiet for a moment. They both continued to stare at each other.
Finally, he said "You've lived so long"
Gyda nodded once "I have. I was like you, in the beginning. I'm different now, it's only animals for me and the occasional sandwich-" she chuckled "-but I don't want to see you suffer like this. I can feel that this isn't what you want-"
"-I can't go back. He'd be disappointed in me. I could never face him again-"
"-then prove to him that you changed. Come away with me. We can go to Washington, they have bears!" she said excitedly "-just come with me. Don't kill any more humans. Please-"
Edward scoffed "-human? This one was more of a monster than me! If I hadn't of killed him he would have killed the girl he was following, she was only a teenager, she didn't deserve that-"
"-oh and he deserved that, did he?" she jutted her chin again to the body, and Edward looked ashamed.
"I'm not happy with myself, but I've made myself believe-"
"-that you're helping. Yeah, I can see. You may be helping the humans, but you're not helping yourself. Come with me, we'll travel together, if you want-"
Edward smirked "-why me? You haven't travelled with anyone for over a millennia-"
"-you're not the only one that wants to change Edward Cullen. Come on, let's go"
I followed Edward and Gyda back onto the street, then they disappeared like blurs and I couldn't seen them anymore.
I was brought back to the present, an anxious Gyda sat opposite me, waiting to see my reaction.
"So? How did you find it?" she asked, biting her lip.
My breath was shaky, but I reassured her "I thought it would be worse, you know-"
"-maybe that memory didn't give it justice. But I could tell he was in pain with himself. He hated himself just as much as I hated myself. The perfect companion for me at last" she chuckled.
"But you love him?"
She nodded "I do love him. I loved him then, and I love him now. I feel more for Edward Cullen than I did for Eirík Sigurdsson. I would end my existence for the benefit of Edward Cullen"
We spoke no more that evening. I went to sleep with a promise that the rest of the country would be explored tomorrow, and that memories that should be lost in time, would be re-discovered.
For the both of us.