TFP: Youngling

Ch.34~ Memories Fade, Feelings Don't

I smiled as I saw Replay, I reached toward him calling out to him and he did the same. I could hear Ja and Replay's Carrier laugh as we got closer. Ja slowly set me down and then Replay was set down and I crawled over to him and hugged him tightly. He clumsily tried to hug me back, he was still wobbly.

"Look at 'em, best friends in the makin'." Ja stated, I pulled back and Replay reached up to grab my faceplate.

'Miss you.' He warbled, as he pulled my face to his kissing me.

'Missed you too, want to play?" I asked, he pulled back and nodded.

'Sing?' he posed, I nodded and we grabbed each other's servos.

'Sweet little spark; sleep soundly. Sweet little spark; don't cry for me. Stars and planets pass by our window and here we are again. Sweet little spark; close your optics. Sweet little spark; don't cry. I see a light at the end of this warp, and I will take you home. Sweet little spark; don't you cry. Sweet little spark; shine so bright. My little light, sweet as can be, you know your creator loves you. Sweet little spark; don't cry. Sweet little spark; fall asleep tonight. Back home we shall go someday, just remember my sweet little spark.' I sang he smiled pulling me closer to him.

"Rim, sing more!" he chimed, I still not sure why he calls me that. "Rim?"

(End Dream)

I online my optics, slowly I sat up and reached up to push up my visor. As I did, I felt something wet, I touched my cheekplates, they were wet. I was crying. What had that dream been, all I remember was a word. Rim. What did it mean? Was it something from the ship? I tried to recall but nothing came to mind.

Now that I thought about it, I don't remember much about the ship. I remember when it fell and I remembered a few other things. Was I finally forgetting? I felt tears well up, what will I forget next? Will I forget Ja? I wiped at the tears falling down my cheekplates in frustration. I don't want to forget Ja, I need to remember, what was Rim? What did that mean?

"Starry!" Sides called, I turned to the door and I saw him walk in a big grin, but it fell when he looked to me. "Star you okay? Did you have a bad dream?"

"Do you know what Rim means?" I questioned, he looked confused but seemed to realise something.

"That's what Replay called you." He stated, I felt the dream rush back, Rim had been his name for me. "You okay?"

"I dreamt about him." I explained, he sat at the end of my berth.

"You two were really good friends back then." He informed, I nodded pulling my pedes up to hug them.

"I remember he cheered me up when I couldn't sit up after my doorwings were removed."

"He was always clingy to you, whenever you two were together he was constantly tugging on you and holding you… Do you miss him?"

"Uhuh, but he's gone now…"

"Gone… Star he's not gone."

"Of course he is, he died with the others…"

"He didn't, me and Sunny went back to the ship, not everyone died, Blaster and Replay were among the survivors." He explained, I turned to him in shock.

Replay was alive. There had been survivors?!

"Who lived?! First Aid? Inferno? Red?" I questioned grabbing onto his armour.

"Blaster, his minis, Replay, First Aid, Perceptor, Inferno, Red Alert, and Mirage." He listed, I couldn't believe it… "Carrier bought them time to get the Cons off the ship, but it wrecked the ship they were stranded till me and Sunny found them. We had gone to find Carrier and you… We helped them get to another one of the ships and headed back out to search for you…"

"Ja saved them too…"

"That was just like Carrier. He was always cool like that."

"Yeah… You miss Ja, you and Sunny."

"Yeah, he took us in just like Ratchet took you in. Sire too, you probably don't remember him, do you?"

"Not really, I remember what he looked like and that he held me before he went to fight…"

"Want to hear about him?"

"Yeah, what was he really like?"

"He was a stern mech, well sterner than Carrier was. But he was also really patient, he put up with a lot of stuff that me and Sunny did as younglings. He had a very dry sense of humor, he loved to listen to music. When me and Sunny were little he would read to us, he had a few datapads back then of old youngling stories. Carrier was usually off on missions and he mostly stayed on base so he looked after us more."

"Really?"

"Yep, Carrier was a spy and a good one, he would be home a few decacycles then he'd be gone again. When he was on base, he smothered us in affection. Now back to Sire, he was smart, like really smart. When me and Sunny used to sneak around he would always find us. One time we had gotten lost, we had found our way into the storage bunkers. Just as we began to get scared, he appeared, no matter where we went, he would find us."

"Wow…"

"Yeah he was pretty amazing, but he was stubborn too. He was so smart, came up with such precise plans. Sometimes he would disobey orders, but he always made the situation better. When we first joined the fighting, me and Sunny got ourselves in over our helms. We did that a lot… He would always come to save us."

"Why did you two become Wreckers then?"

"Sire actually put us on the Wreckers, our way of fighting was better suited to a team like that. In the main army, you had to follow orders, things were precisely planned and you were a cog in the grand scheme. Not our style, and that's what always got us in trouble. But the Wreckers, we were a team you called when those things wouldn't work. All of us had our own skills and methods and it was about us combining our skills. One of our rules was that we never left another Wrecker behind."

"How did Ja get put in charge of the Wreckers?"

"Well, he was the special ops commander, a lot of Wreckers missions fell under that side of the army. He mostly monitored us, gave us missions and all that. He and old mech Ironhide kept us active with either missions or training. We all used to spar each other when we had downtime. Sometimes we'd help with the training of special ops agents, their goal was to immobilize us."

"Did you ever spar Ja?"

"Oh yeah, he used to train us how to escape holds and how to silent our pedefalls. Not that we used that often, but me and Sunny can sneak when we need to."

"What about Prower, how did he fight? Did he teach you too?"

"Sire didn't really train us in that way, it wasn't really strategy per se… He just reminded us that me and Sunny together could accomplish more, so in a battle, we should work together. When we first started fighting, we would almost end up arguing. We're better at working together now, working with the Wreckers helped us there."

"You and Sunny bicker a lot, why?"

"Well, I'm not really sure how to answer that… Me and Sunny have always been like this, we're very different mechs."

"But you're twins."

"Well yes, I mean I love Sunny even when were fighting it's just… We don't think alike, sometimes that leads to us misunderstanding each other…"

"Oh…"

I heard pedefalls and I saw Sunny walk into the doorway, he leaned against it. He looked to us with an unreadable expression, I slide off the berth and grabbed Sides servo. He let me lead him over to Sunny and they seemed to be speaking to each other over their bond. They both scooped me up and hugged me between them.

"Sunny? Sides?" I quizzed; I felt a kiss on my helm.

"We love you." Sunny stated, I smiled as they held me close.

"You can always rely on us." Sides added.

I nodded and I snuggled up into their hold.

(Ratchet's POV)

Today Stargazer had been off, Sideswipe told me she had a dream about her sparklinghood friend. I was a bit surprised when he told me how many on that ship had survived. Still, I was glad to hear it, especially when I heard my former apprentice had survived. He told me that he had told her about their survival. I wonder what she was thinking about.

"Carrier?" I called, I turned to see her by my pedes.

"Yes, Stargazer," I replied, she grabbed onto my pede looking down on the ground.

"Can you hold me?" she stated, I carefully reached down and pulled her up into my arms.

"Something's bothering you?" I asked, she nodded as she leaned into my plating. "What is it?"

"Am I gonna forget Ja…?" she quizzed; I felt my spark ache at her tone.

"What makes you think that?" I soothed, she let out a shaky vent clearly upset.

"I'm forgetting, I almost forgot Replay, whose next?!" she cried, I rubbed her backstruts soothingly.

"Almost and did are two very different things… Time makes things fade; I do not remember my youth as well as I remember running my hospital in Kaon…" I began, she looked up at me looking more upset, I let out a deep vent. "Stargazer, you won't ever forget him, not entirely. Bits and pieces will fade, but I know you'll always remember how much he loved you, how much he meant to you. Those are the things that really matter."

"How can you be sure?" she quizzed, I smiled and gently tapped her visor.

"Do you need to wear this visor?" I quizzed, she shook her helm slowly. "Why do you wear it then?"

"Cuz it's Ja's and he gave it to me." She answered sounded confused.

"That's how I know, the fact that after all this time, knowing you don't need this visor you still wear it each and every day," I assured; she titled her helm still confused. "Trace the glyphs on the side."

She carefully reached up and touched the visor slowly tracing the glyphs that spelled Jazz's name. A small smile formed on her faceplate, she slowly ran her fingers over the glyphs back and forth. Seemed she was beginning to understand. There are many things that will remind her of her Jazz, her visor, the lullaby she shared. Maybe some details will fade but her feelings won't.

She rushed forward and wrapped her servos around my neckcables hugging me close. I smiled as she nuzzled me, I gently patted her backstruts as she chirped a bit. Slowly she pulled back and turned to me with a bright smile, I reached up to cup her cheekplate and she leaned into my palm.

"You have his smile." I hummed, she smiled brighter at my comment. "I love you, now and forever."

"Love you too, forever and ever!" she cheered, I smiled and I peppered her tear-streaked cheekplates with kisses. "Carrier that tickles!"

I smirked and began to tickle her sides as I peppered her cheekplates in kisses. She began to break out into the cutest little giggles, squirming in my hold. Slowly I pulled back and smiled at her as she calmed down from her small giggle fit. She seemed more like her normal self now.

"Can I stay here a bit longer?" she quizzed, leaning into my plating.

"Of course, as long as you want." I chimed, she nodded and relaxed into my hold.

Primus, I will miss this when she grows up, but I will cherish it now.

(Optimus's POV)

I walked back into the base and I saw the human children playing some racing game. Surprisingly I did not see Stargazer watching them from her seat of crates. Casting my gaze to the monitor I found her in Ratchet's hold. She must be in recharge, Ratchet seemed focused on his work at the screen. Behind them I saw Sunstreaker leaning against the wall, he looked up from his drawing tablet and motioned me over.

Walking to the yellow twin he turned the drawing tablet to me, I smiled at his piece of art. Clearly, he was still in the process of drawing but I could clearly make out the scene. He was drawing Ratchet holding Stargazer as he worked at the monitor. I nodded my helm and he pulled it back to himself and continued to draw, I leaned against the wall next to him.

"Got inspired?" I quizzed; he nodded his helm as he looked at them intently.

"They both looked so content." He mused, I nodded as I turned my gaze to them. "I'm sure Carrier is watching this too."

"I couldn't agree more."

(Stargazer's POV)

I onlined my optics, when had I fallen into recharge, the lights were dim, what time was it? Slowly I pulled back and I saw Carrier looking down at me with a smile. Leaning up I kissed his chinplate which made him chuckle a bit. He kissed my helm crest and turned his attention forward, was he working.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"A bit after midnight." He answered I had slept away the rest of the afternoon and all evening. "I hadn't realized it had gotten so late."

"Are you working?" I quizzed; he nodded his helm. "You really don't mind working with one arm like this?"

"Not at all." He replied a small smile growing on his faceplate.

"Oh…" I said and leaned back into his plating.

The room settled down into near silence, the only sound was the rhythmic clacking of keys as Carrier worked. The last time Carrier had held me like this for so long was when I had been sick. Being held like this was comforting, it made me feel safe and loved. I wonder why I still liked being held so much?

"I think it's time you turned in." Sire's voice rang breaking the near silence.

"Almost done," Carrier argued, I peeked over his shoulder and Sire smiled at me.

"When did you wake up?" he quizzed reaching a servo over to rub my helm.

"A bit ago," I replied, he nodded and pulled his servo back.

"Alright, I can end it here." Carrier stated, he nudged the side of my helm and I looked to him. "Want to sleep with me and your Sire tonight, little one?"

"Yes please," I replied, he nodded his helm and I felt Sire rub my helm again which made me twitter happily.

"Seems we have, as the humans say, a snuggle-bug." Sire stated, I giggled at his use of an Earth term.

"Human come up with the oddest sayings." Carrier chuckled, I smiled nuzzling his neckcables.

"What was a saying for this on Cybertron?" I asked.

"Hmm… I'm not sure we had a direct equivalent." Carrier mused.

"Perhaps a seeker-pile would be the most relevant term." Sire stated, seeker-pile?

"Yes that usually referred to three or more bots being involved; most of the phrases were about specific frame-types or very specific situations," Carrier added, I nodded trying to stifle a yawn.

"What about the Carrier-carry?" Sire added.

"Hmm closer," Carrier replied, I offlined my optics, I like it when they both relax like this…

(Ratchet's POV)

We must have gone back and forth for at least ten minutes trying to think of an equivalent term. Nothing really fit, Earth had broader uses for such terms then we did. I could hear Stargazer's soft vents, seems she had fallen back asleep during a little talk.

"Seems we bored her." Orion joked, I chuckled.

"I think our relaxed fields did most of the work there." I mused, he nodded.

"Sunstreaker has a drawing he wants to show you tomorrow."

"Oh?"

"You did not notice him drawing you two earlier?"

"I had not, I will have to see what he created this time."

"Shall we head to bed?"

"I suppose so, lead the way."

He grabbed my servo giving it a comforting squeeze before leading me toward our room. I would follow Orion into the pits if that's where he'd lead. Though I trust he would not lead me to such a place, especially now that we have a daughter. Now he'll make sure to lead us out of this war safely, and I'll follow him diligently till he does.