Zuko felt both panic and relief washing over him as he saw Aang and Katara waiting for him right outside his bedroom. He was trying to be brave, but the thought of losing them - or any of his friends - terrified him.
"Can we talk for a moment?" Aang asked.
"Of course."
The three of them went to Zuko's chamber, and spent a few moments just staring at each other, trying to find the right words to say. Trying to find a way to pretend this whole thing wasn't painfully awkward for them.
Trying to make it slightly more bearable, Zuko decided to try and make peace with Katara "I'm sorry for snaping at you."
"It's not like I wasn't ready for a fight too. Just forget it" she fidgeted uncomfortably "Look, i know you're not a bad person, and I'm sure that there's gotta be something good about Azula... but i don't think I could pretend I support this even if I wanted to. This is not right, Zuko. I mean, could you seriously tell me you wouldn't be horrified if I suddenly decided I wanted to marry Sokka?"
Aang made a disgusted face, and Zuko felt his stomach turn. Trying to ignore the voice in his head calling him a hypocrite, he defended himself.
"It's not the same, Katara. Nothing about my family has ever been normal, especially when it came to my relationship with my sister" he took a deep breath, trying to get enough courage to be honest with them "I don't even know when I started feeling this way about her. I didn't recognize it for what it was for years, but it was there for as long as I can remember. And i never stopped loving her, not even after i fell in love with Mai and Jin."
"Not even after she tried to kill you?" Aang asked, incredulous.
"No." Zuko said, being met with wide eyes and stunned silence. He sighed "I understand if you guys can't accept it, or even believe it, but Azula and i are good to each other. And she does love me. I know she does."
Katara looked like she wanted to say something, and Zuko was glad she decided against it. He felt bad and embarrassed by his behavior earlier that day, but he wasn't sure he wouldn't do it again if either of them so much as implied what he and his sister had wasn't real.
"And if Azula were to become a threat again?" Aang asked.
"She won't."
"If she did" he insisted.
Zuko didn't have to think about his answer for even one second. He knew it was not what they wanted to hear, but it was the truth "Then I'd do everything in my power to stop her. I didn't forget everything she did, and I will never let her have the chance to hurt people again. But no matter what she did or tried to do, I wouldn't leave her."
I can't.
"Even if she decided she no longer wanted you?" Zuko could hear the pity on Katara's voice "You'd stay by her side even if she wanted you gone?"
"Yes."
His friends looked at him with sorrow in their eyes, clearly believing they were watching him voluntarily throw away every good thing he had in life for the sake of someone that would surely destroy him.
You better get used to that look, Zuzu. You'll see it over and over again, 'till the end of your days, he could almost hear Azula say.
"We'll help you keep your nation safe, and we'll always be here to help you with anything you need. Even if we can't fully understand what you're going through" Aang promised, while Katara stayed silent.
"I know you're worried about me" Zuko said "But this isn't the tragedy you think it is. Azula won't hurt me."
"I hope you're right, Zuko. I really do."
His friends hugged him, then left him alone in his room, completely absorbed in his thoughts, yet unable to truly comprehend them. He just put on his robe and lied in bed, waiting for his sister to join him and make him believe it would all be worth it in the end, or at least give him enough peace of mind to sleep. Perhaps that made him a fool, but it didn't matter.
Not as long as he had Azula for himself.