How had she been able to keep her gift a secret all this time?
Kylo wasn't even sure who he was looking at, other than a frightened woman. Any pleasure that had been written on Falynn's face was now far erased and replaced with nothing but fear. Her face had gone possibly more pale than it had earlier. No wonder the wall around her mind had been completely open to him earlier. The woman was far more concerned in repressing something far more powerful.
The force.
THE FORCE.
His wife had been carrying it this whole time and he had been completely blind to it. How she had been able to bury it so deep where even the Supreme Leader himself wasn't able to find it? He admitted there had been times where he had felt trimmers around her, but he had simply brushed it off. He should have been paying more attention. The bigger question was why? Why had Falynn been hiding this from him? In the beginning he understood but now? Even after what they just experienced why did she look so terrified of him? Deep down did she still fear him? Was the only way she truly felt safe with him was when she herself was hiding behind some mask? Kylo wasn't sure what he should have been feeling at that moment. He wouldn't call it anger, but it certainly wasn't a pleasant feeling. Betrayal perhaps? No that wasn't it? Perhaps Kylo was feeling his own type of fear, a fear of maybe this woman who thought he had come to truly care for, wasn't who he thought she was anymore. As he tried piecing the shattered parts of mind back together Falynn began to shake in front of him.
Not just her, but their entire chamber had a small quake to it, as objects from his desk flew off, and the lights flickered over their head. He could practically taste it now. The power that had been repressed and built up inside of her. She was powerful, but it became very clear very quickly had little control Falynn actually had of her powers. Now was not the time to sort through his mind, but to help calm down his wife's before she obliterated their room.
"Falynn, you need to breathe!" Kylo took a firm grip of her shoulders. "I need you to breathe for me, breathe Falynn."
"Don't," she shook her head eyes wide, as tears welled up.
Without intending to, Kylo snapped due to his own nerves flaring up. "Don't what?"
"Don't send me away, Kylo!" she whimpered out. "I-I know I have this power...but...but please don't exploit me. Please don't make me some type of soldier or servant...or…or send me away."
Kylo's own eyes widened and the hurt and betrayal he felt suddenly hushed. For a moment he had forgotten who he was, and what he had previously done. Kylo Ren was known as a Sith Lord, a man of darkness with a goal to keep the Jedi erased from the galaxy. He had turned his power to the dark side, and anyone who had disagreed with his ways he had ended. As much as he himself would like to bury that away from Falynn he knew he never could, nor would she ever ask. Kylo Ren was who he was. Nothing would ever change that.
"How long?" was all his voice could muster out in a rasped breathe. "How long have you carried the force, Falynn?"
"S-since I was a child," her own voice came out weak as she now hugged herself.
"Does your family know?"
Falynn shook her head as another tear fell and dropped off of her chin. "No...I...I wasn't sure what to do with it as a child...I was also afraid my father would-"
"Sell you off to me and the First Order," Kylo finished for her.
Falynn remained silent, which answered his question.
"So you do still fear me," Kylo lowered his head. "Even after everything you still can't trust me…"
Within a moment their bed flew towards them until Kylo outstretched his hand, and pushed the bed roughly back against their wall with his own power. With another sigh Kylo grabbed Falynn's head tangling his fingers in her hair.
"I need you to silence your mind, Falynn. You are going to destroy our resting chamber."
"I-I don't know how," she shook her head. "I-I have never felt this out of control...Kylo, help me…please...I am so sorry...I am so sorry…please just help me...I can't calm it down."
The pain in her voice tugged on Kylo's chest, as he pressed his forehead against Falynn's and closed his eyes. Through their new form bond he could feel her anxiety and fear. The inside of her mind was like a wild storm.
A beautiful storm.
His storm.
Using his own ability Kylo sent down thoughts of comfort and peace as he tried to silence the gloom that lurked in her mind. It was more difficult than he thought it would be as his own mind and heart were entangled in that same chaos, but he felt her breathing again. Then he took a sharp inhale of breath as he felt her mind meeting his own. It was something he had never experienced before even with Rey. To have their bond so tightly knit together, the tension holding on it so tight that it could possibly snap at any moment. Gripping his fingers tighter into Falynn's copper tangles Kylo bent down and roughly took Falynn's mouth into his own, as he hoisted her back up and slammed her body back against the wall. Falynn cried out as Kylo took her once more, allowing their bond to wrap around one another, until he thought any moment his mind would break.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked against her lips. "Why have you kept this hidden from me? I could have helped you, I could teach you."
"Would you have from the beginning?" she whispered as she withdrew her lips and her sea-colored eyes looked into his own. "Would you have understood when we first met? Can you blame me for being afraid? After seeing who my father is and seeing what you are capable of?" reaching up Falynn gently traced her finger down his scar. "Kylo, can you honestly blame me?"
Could she have trusted a man who within the first few weeks of their marriage never bothered to show his face, then hid from her once again? He had taken her land, paralyzed her Queen. Married her to him without her consent. No he could not blame her for the lack of trust, it was the fact that she still held onto that fear, and he had not been able to completely soothe it yet. Keeping her in his arms Kylo carried Falynn to their bed and laid her down on the sheets before he laid next to her. Their bedchamber now in shambles with books, scattered all over the floor, a turned over chair, and bed that now laid uneven against the wall, Kylo stared at his wife.
"I want you to tell me everything," Kylo spoke softly. "From the very beginning."
Falynn took a shattering breath as she focused her vision on the canopy above her head. Where would she even begin? She had never intended for Kylo to ever find out about her being Force sensitive. It was a secret she was planning on carrying to her death if she could. She took a look around their room and felt her muscles tensing back up. She really did have no control. Haymond's training had not been long enough, and he was the only teacher she had really known. She had become her own teacher in repressing the power, but no one ever really taught her how to use it. To her the force might as well have been dead inside of her, but instead everytime she tried pushing it down, it came rising back up in defiance. She was waiting for Kylo to yell at her, for his rage to lash out at her, she didn't understand why he had become so quiet, and why his own dark eyes had looked so mournful. He should have been screaming, accusing her of being a treacherous liar. Perhaps he was suppressing the rage, and it would soon surface. Then he would dismiss her as a fraud, then send her off. The thought had her wanting to curl in on herself, and bury herself so far in he wouldn't be able to send her away, because he could no longer see her.
Fingers gently touching her cheek, Kylo turned her face where she could face him.
"Falynn, do not hide away from me," Kylo's brows creased. "We are far past that point. You can no longer run, but face me head on. I am not asking anymore, I need you to tell me everything...I cannot help you if you do not allow me to."
It took Falynn a moment, as she tried to turn again to clear her thoughts but Kylo held her face where she could not move. He was not allowing her to hide anymore. This was it, this was the final truth. She would have to tell him everything...or face even worse consequences.
So she began.
"I first discovered something was different with me when I was about ten. At the time I wasn't exactly sure what it was, because I was a youngling...and well no one else in my family has ever been force sensitive. I am not sure why I am the first one honestly. So I brushed it aside, until I was about fourteen and my powers began to truly show what they were. Of course I didn't realize what side my father truly followed because my parents had led me to live a sheltered life...but I was not ignorant to what happened to all the Jedi. So I became very well practiced in pushing the force down, making sure it never allowed itself to show. Whenever I felt like I couldn't control it, I often would go away and find myself some empty space out by the water or a grove of trees and allow it to release. I was afraid to tell my parents because I wasn't sure how they would react. I wanted them to accept me...I didn't want them to fear me or be disappointed."
"So you never had a teacher?" Kylo frowned. "You never had anyone teach you how to properly use it?"
"I did once," Falynn swallowed, she wasn't sure how she would get through this next part. "I met a teacher...had him for a short time, until he suddenly disappeared. He was the only teacher I had. After he was gone, I was completely lost at that point. I had a few pointers...from others...but that was it."
"Others?" Kylo arched an eyebrow. "Falynn, very few people know how to use the force. Unless you had teachers who already passed...but in order to see them you would…"
Falynn shook her head and closed her eyes as she finished. "It was your mother."
"My what?" Kylo shot up eyes wide. "You...you know my mother?"
"It was only for a brief time," Falynn answered as she placed her hand over the scars on her stomach. "She...she was the one that helped me after I was in that rough dispute. I stayed with her for a couple of months. Then my father came looking for me, and I left to...to meet you."
Kylo turned away from her and laid on his back as he stared up above him. "So...does that mean you also met, Rey?"
"Yes," Falynn responded softly. "The two of them seemed rather close. I don't know much of your story with her though."
"Not much of one to give," Kylo closed his eyes pushing those memories back. "Why...why didn't you tell me any of this? Was all of this fake? All the plans you had to attack the Resistance was all a way to help them wasn't it?"
"It was then," Falynn turned and faced out their port window. "That was until they betrayed me, they didn't even bother to hear me out...and when I saw what they had done to you...Kylo, I am so sorry." Sitting up Falynn said as earnestly as she could. "Please understand...when I first married you I was angry. I was also confused, and to be honest I am still not sure where I stand as I do not agree with the tyranny of the First Order. I can also say I no longer feel any allegiance towards the Resistance. The only ally I felt I have had was you. Truly you, so I can understand why you would be angry with me. Should be angry with me. I will accept any punishment you have for me, Kylo. I have no excuse other than fear and confusion. If you would like I will hop on a ship and readily meet my fate, or meet the other end of your saber. I understand who you are, and what my betrayal means."
Mustering any strength that she had left in her, Falynn pushed herself off the bed and slowly walked over to their dresser. Choosing a maroon colored sleeveless dress that flowed over body, Falynn slipped it on before making her way toward the chamber. She had no doubt that Kylo no longer wanted to be in the same with her. When she tried to reach out his mind was closed off from hers. She took a long look at her husband who was still laying on his back, and she hushed any sadness she had felt. The truth had finally come out and with it, she realized she might have possibly lost him forever. The grief from it was strikingly powerful, perhaps more so than losing the connection with her father. Darred was lost to her, but Kylo hadn't felt that way. He was the only one who revealed who he really was, despite how horrible some of those things were, Falynn knew she could trust him. That he was reliable.
She had broken that.
She had let herself go that day.
She had not been able to keep control and because of that she might have lost the most important person who had ever come into her life.
Without another word, Falynn pressed the button and left Kylo behind.
The sound of the door opening made something ring loudly in Kylo's ears.
She was leaving him.
No.
No.
Absolutely not.
He would not allow things to end this way.
He was angry, he was livid, and he was hurt. She had known his mother this whole time. She carried the force and she never uttered a word of it, pretending to be ignorant. She used her secret knowledge against him and his men, and he realized that. However, Falynn was also the one who had pulled the troops together when they had met their defeat. She had stayed with him when he had been injured and did everything she could to get behind the weapons that could have ended his life. She had saved him that night, and turned her back against the people who she had once at some point called her friends. She had stood strongly next to him despite fighting her own internal battles. Despite what she believed she had called herself his Empress. She had said she had been suppressing her powers her entire life, perhaps she had not felt a need to ever tell him. It would not have gained her any interest, and Kylo wasn't sure if the fact that she held that from him was what was making him so angry. It was the fact that she was walking out that door. That he was about to not just lose his mother but her as well.
He was angry he himself had not had the chance to process what was about to happen, and that he had been pushing his own emotions aside. He was engaging in his own hypocrisy.
"Come back!" he shouted as shot up out of bed and grabbed his pants that were on the floor. "Falynn! Come back!" he tried shouting to her through the bond but there was no response.
No.
He would not allow another bond to close on him.
He would not lose her. Even if he had to drag her bag with her nails digging in the ground.
Not even bothering to throw on a shirt Kylo used the force to throw open their door and ran down the corridor, before he threw his arms around her waist from behind.
"K-Kylo!"
"Get back in our room damn it!" he growled. "We...are...not...over. Do you hear me!"
"Kylo, what are you-"
Without another word Kylo picked her up and turned them back towards their room before he tossed her into their doorway and slammed the door behind them.
"Do not argue with your Supreme Ruler," he barked, storming up to her and grabbing her. "You…" his voice strained out. "Are...not...allowed…to...leave. Do you understand?"
Taken aback Falynn responded. "I thought you would be angry with me. I thought you needed the space I-,"
"Stop making fucking assumption about me," he growled. "You fear me because of all the damn assumption you make about me. Did I ever ask you to leave?! I don't understand, Falynn. I thought you were the one person who didn't think of me as some type of monster. So why do you keep running away and fucking hiding from me? Do you think I could ever actually harm you? Are you that fucking blind to the way I feel about you!"
"How you-" eyes widening Falynn said faintly before creasing her brow in bewilderment. "Aren't you angry with me?"
"I am beyond angry," Kylo agreed. The answer made Falynn tense beneath his fingers, but he kept his grip on her. "I am angry you have kept secrets from me, I am angry you don't trust me. I am furious. I am angry that I am sending a fleet to destroy my mother. I am angry about many things, Falynn. But what makes me angriest is when I heard you leaving through that door. What makes me even angrier is thinking that I could possibly lose you, due to your fear of me. You are my wife, Falynn. I made my vows to you. Do you think that bond happened between us just because you temporarily lost control." Shaking his head with a dark smirk Kylo answered his own question. "No. I don't think that's it. We were meant to find each other, Falynn. So tell me why you fucking think I am going to send you away? You are staying with me, and I am not allowing anything to change that. Do you understand?"
Falynn opened her mouth, but Kylo silenced her once again as he took her in his arms and took her to where she could no longer escape. In his arms sealed against him.
Neither of them spoke as Kylo made his way inside of her over and over again. The way she had clutched onto his back, and his ink black hair, Kylo knew her heart without her speaking it. She was afraid of being alone just as he was. The darkness they both shared was what sealed them together, and Kylo thought he could see it.
That small thread of light that wrapped around the both of them.