A/N: Happy Saturday, my loyal readers! In which Jenny taps into her anger, Gibbs gives her an ultimatum, and makes a heartbreaking realisation. Hope you enjoy!

Tony DiNozzo had a difficult time keeping him smile under control as he walked with Jenny Shepard-Gibbs down to the interrogation rooms. As it wasn't an area she frequented often, the Senior Field Agent had offered to escort her, and he couldn't deny how happy he was that she had fought to keep the job that she so loved. He didn't know how they would have made it if Vance had taken over in her stead. There was just something about the other man that Tony didn't trust. At all.

He was still massively entertained that Gibbs had specifically requested Jenny's help with his case, given how the team leader had always detested her interference in the past, but considering the nature of their case, he supposed it made sense. They'd come across the body of a badly beaten body of a child, no more than four years old, discovered by his mother's boyfriend, and after days of searching, his team had finally located the boy's mother, still refusing to admit her responsibility in his death.

Normally, if a suspect requested a female agent to conduct the interview, Ziva was the one Gibbs sent without question. After all, the Israeli had a myriad of ways to make them talk, and had no qualms about using them. So when Gibbs had told Tony to bring his wife down from her office to question her, he had at first thought it was a joke. Still, if Jenny couldn't get the information from their Lieutenant, no one could.

She walked down the hallway with surprising confidence, and if he hadn't known, there was no way Tony would have guessed that she had no clue of where she was going. He supposed she could have been relying on her memory to guide her, but he much preferred to think that she was simply showing massive improvement in her ability to navigate her surroundings. Halfway to their destination, she stopped, her hand bracing the wall for support, and Tony frowned as he looked at her.

"Director?"

She shook her head, waving his words away.

"Just give me a minute."

She took an uncertain step, and when she stumbled, Tony reached for her waist, preventing her from falling.

"Are you okay?"

"Muscle cramp," she answered, her hand on his shoulder, "Hurts like a bitch, but it'll pass."

"Guess that's what happens when you spend too much time at the gym?"

She laughed.

"Something like that."

He threw her arm around his shoulder, helping her to walk down the hall, knowing that the movement would help the pain lessen, and when the interrogation room door opened, Gibbs looked at them with a frown.

"What happened?"

"Muscle cramp. I'm fine," Jenny said, though her voice betrayed the depth of her pain.

Gibbs nodded his head at Tony, silently telling him to leave them, and when they were alone, Gibbs carefully lowered her to the floor. Her eyes closed as he knelt down in front of her, and when he spoke, his voice was soft in the empty hall.

"Left or right?"

"Left," she whispered.

He nodded, sitting on the ground, and as he pulled her leg into his lap, his hands began gently massaging the tightened area. She winced at the pain but said nothing, and as his fingers slowly began to work out the muscles, she tried to distract herself.

"So, why am I down here?"

"I need your expertise."

"Which is?"

"Being a pissed off redhead," he quipped.

She smiled, but her heart wasn't in it, too preoccupied by the pain in her left calf. She shook her head as the pain began to slowly dissipate, and when her eyes opened, Gibbs smiled.

"Seriously, though...she murdered her son. Little kid, four years old. Beaten to death. Her boyfriend found him, called it in. Even if you could see them, I wouldn't show you the pictures."

"How bad?" she asked.

"Bad. Looked like she smashed his head against a wall more than enough times to kill a large dog."

"And you need my help with this because...?"

He shrugged, reaching for her hand.

"You're a mother. More importantly, you're a mother who lost her son, and you know just how damn precious the life of a child is. And you're angry about it. The unfairness of it all. Use that anger, Jen. Get her to confess, and make her feel like the lowest form of life in the process."

Helping her to stand, he placed a light kiss to her temple, and smiled sadly as he held her against his chest.

"Don't hold back," he whispered, "Give her hell, Jen."

She nodded, already able to feel her anger building within her chest. Getting her to use her anger wouldn't be a problem. Getting her to reign it in...that was another story entirely...

As soon as Jenny walked into the interrogation room, the woman sitting on the opposite side of the table frowned, looking at her in confusion. The redhead sat gracefully in the chair, waiting for the Lieutenant to speak, knowing she was wondering what in the world she was doing there.

"Who are you?"

Jenny said nothing, using Gibbs' age-old technique of staying infuriatingly silent, and she found herself fighting the urge to smile when she realised it never failed to work like a charm. The Lieutenant gave her a hard look before tapping her foot impatiently on the floor, shaking her head as she spoke again.

"If you aren't going to say anything, then—"

"Do you understand the charges brought against you, Lieutenant Larson?"

"I understand that you're wasting my time. I didn't do anything wrong."

"Your son was found beaten to death in your home by your boyfriend. You disappeared for two days, and when you were finally found, there was blood covering your clothing. Blood that matched your son's. You can forgive me if I don't entirely believe you."

"I would never hurt Elijah. What kind of mother would do that?"

"Certainly not a good one," Jenny said coldly, "Children are precious, and even when they misbehave, they don't deserve to be beaten. At that age, they follow you around constantly, they're dependent on you for everything, and they ask endless questions. It's a lot to deal with, especially if you work in addition to taking care of them."

"Do you have kids?" Lieutenant Larson asked, a bit rudely in Jenny's opinion.

Jenny nodded.

"My son was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life the day he was born. He was perfect, so small and precious. And to know that you murdered your own child...that doesn't sit well with me."

Lieutenant Larson shook her head, her eyes glaring daggers at the redhead.

"I didn't hurt him. I just smacked him once or twice to make him stop crying. He'd been crying all day, and—"

"And what?" Jenny interrupted, shaking with rage, "Babies cry. That's what they do. He was hungry, or tired. Maybe even scared. Maybe this was a common occurrence for you. Maybe your boyfriend had tried to turn you in for the way you treated your son, and you didn't like that. Did you?"

"I wasn't going to let anyone take Elijah away from me! No one. So I punished my child for acting up. It's called discipline. You would do the same thing to your son."

Jenny shook her head, her eyes cold.

"No. There's a major difference between discipline and abuse. Your child's skull was fractured in three places because he'd been struck so many times."

"He wouldn't listen to me! He'd been throwing his toys all over the house, and when I took them away, he wouldn't stop crying. I couldn't take it anymore, and—"

She paused, realising what she'd said, and as he watched, Gibbs waited, knowing this wasn't over.

"And what? You hit him to make him stop, and when that didn't work, when he started to cry even more because he was hurt, you were willing to do anything to make the noise stop, weren't you?"

"It was so loud," Larson whispered, "I didn't know he was that badly hurt. I—I blacked out, and I couldn't think straight. You wouldn't understand!"

On the other side of the glass, McGee tensed, looking at Gibbs worriedly. Now that the younger agent had a child of his own, he completely understood the fury in the team leader's eyes, and when Jenny suddenly stood, he frowned. Walking around the table, Jenny grabbed the woman by her shoulder, yanking her up from the chair and slamming her into the wall behind her, her arm pinning her against the two-way glass.

"You're right. I wouldn't understand," she whispered, her voice shaking with barely-restrained anger, "Children are a god damned gift, and for someone to willing hurt them, to destroy that pure love and trust that a child has...I hope you rot in a cell for the rest of your miserable life. Your job as a parent is to protect, love, and support your child, no matter what. Even when they cry, even when they test your patience. You're the most disgusting, pathetic waste of oxygen that I've ever had the displeasure of sharing a room with. Even the lowest corners of Hell are too good for you."

Jenny shoved her back, throwing open the door, and as she slammed it shut behind her, she took a deep breath. The door to the observation room opened, revealing Gibbs, McGee, and Tony, each looking at her with a wide array of emotions as she leaned against the wall behind her. McGee was concerned for the redhead's emotional state, knowing just how much this case had gotten under her skin, while Tony and Gibbs were staring at her with the unmistakable glow of pride and awe. Gibbs' eyes still held their anger, but beneath it was pride so strong that McGee was sure Jenny could sense it.

She jumped slightly when Gibbs placed his hand on her shoulder, and as he led her down the hall, Tony smiled as he heard the soft words he whispered into her hair.

"Hell of a job, Jen."

The door to Jenny's office shut behind them softly, and the redhead made her way to her desk, sinking into the chair with a sigh. Gibbs walked around to the back of her chair, placing his hands on her shoulders, and when he leaned down to kiss her cheek, he could feel her shaking.

"Jen, if you want to talk about—"

"No," she said quietly, "Right now, I think I need to be alone. Please."

He nodded, kissing her cheek again, and as he made his way to the door, he turned to look at her one last time.

"If you change your mind, call."

She nodded, not even pretending to look in his direction, and as soon as the door closed behind him, she laid her head on her desk. Gibbs had been right: she was beyond furious about the unfairness of the universe, and no amount of time had made even the slightest difference. Why had her child, who was so loved and would have been adored by his parents for all of eternity, been taken away from her, and Lieutenant Larson's precious baby been murdered by the very woman who had given him life? By the very woman who should have died to protect him? It just wasn't right.

Jenny slammed her hand down on the smooth wood of her desk, and as she fought against the tears in her eyes, she heard the unmistakable knock of her assistant on the door.

"Director? Are you okay?"

"Fine," Jenny answered, too quickly to be believed.

Cynthia frowned, taking a step into the office, and as she looked at her boss, she was saddened to see tears in her bright green eyes.

"Are you sure? Because I've got time, if you need to—"

"It isn't fair, Cynthia," she said quietly, "That selfish monster was lucky enough to have her little boy. She got to play with him, look at his sweet little face each night, read him stories...and she murdered him. He depended on her for everything, he loved her unconditionally, trusted her as only a child can, and she fractured his skull on a goddamned wall! How the fuck is that right? If she didn't want to raise him, there are hundreds of people who would have taken him in and loved him. Hell, I would have raised him myself if it kept that precious baby alive."

Cynthia nodded, silently closing the door behind her, and as she walked over to the couch to sit, Jenny stood, making her way to the shelf where she kept her bourbon. She knew it was taking a risk, but she wouldn't be able to focus on anything until she managed to calm down.

"I may have screwed up this case, though. I slammed her into the wall of the interrogation room. She might try to press charges."

Cynthia smiled at the thought, feeling proud of her boss.

"I'm sure even if she did, Agent Gibbs would fix it."

Jenny laughed bitterly.

"Maybe. I didn't mean to, I just...hearing her talk about her son as though he was a burden to her...yes, I know that children misbehave, they push boundaries, they cry for no reason, and it's not easy. Being a parent takes hard work, and it can be exhausting. But it's always worth it. I only had Matthew for an hour, but I wouldn't trade a single second of it."

She held the glass of bourbon in her hand, draining it within seconds, and as she raised her eyes in Cynthia's direction, she shook her head slowly.

"Would you send my husband to my office and hold my calls? I really need to talk to him."

The younger woman nodded, noticing that she'd referred to him as her husband rather than by name, reaching out to touch Jenny's shoulder gently.

"Of course. Do you need anything else before I leave?"

"No. You've done more than enough, Cynthia. Thank you," she answered earnestly.

As soon as the younger woman had left, Jenny moved to a more comfortable position on the couch, curling her legs under her as she waited for Gibbs to respond to her summons. More than anything, she wished she could see, as Gibbs was always easier to read by sight than by verbal communication. Also, she really just wanted the reassurance she always felt when she looked into his bright blue eyes.

"You wanted to see me?"

Jenny nodded, her hair falling into her face, and as he sat next to her on the couch, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"What's going on?"

She sighed, laying her head on his shoulder, running her hand over his arm slowly.

"I...Jethro...I wish I could see you. I haven't seen your eyes in months, and it's killing me to know that I'll never see them again. I...God, it's killing me. I never realised how much I would miss all the little things about my vision that I took for granted. Seeing your smile, the way your eyes change depending on your emotions, the way your hair is messy after a shower."

He frowned, kissing her hair, knowing there was a much deeper emotion beneath the surface, and as she moved closer, he shook his head.

"I know it's hard. I can't even imagine how hard it is for you. But you're strong, and you'll get through this. I know you're having a rough time right now, and—"

She stopped his words with her lips on his, pulling him closer by the collar of his jacket, and when he tried to pull away to ask her what was wrong, she ignored him. Her right hand tangled in his hair, moving to straddle his waist, and his protests died in his throat as she bit down on his bottom lip.

"Jen...I—"

"Just kiss me, Jethro. Please."

The desperation in her voice was enough to make him nod, and as he held her more securely in his lap, he was engulfed by the scent of her perfume. He knew she was dealing with a torrent of emotions, and when he realised he could taste salt on her lips, he frowned. He slowly pushed her back, looking at her in concern as the tears fell from her eyes, and he shook his head when she tried to kiss him again.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Jen..." his voice was so unbearably gentle, "Talk to me. Please."

Jenny fell forward, her head resting on his shoulder, and as she took a deep breath, he ran his hand over her hair slowly.

"I feel like I'm never going to catch a break," she said finally, "I mean, no one even knew I was in the hospital last week, no one seems to notice that I'm so close to just completely falling apart every fucking day, and it's so exhausting to live up to their expectations. I'm not talking about you or Ducky, you've both been more help to me than I could ever deserve, but just once, I would appreciate time to just breathe."

Gibbs nodded, gently pushing her back and shifting her body to the couch next to him, and as he stood to walk to the door, she frowned when she heard it lock. He dimmed the lights as much as he could while still being able to see, and returned to the couch, pulling her upper body into his lap. She shook her head as his fingers wound into her hair, and her quiet voice made him smile.

"What are you doing?"

"Giving you time to breathe. Just focus on each breath, the beat of your heart."

Though she felt more than a little foolish, Jenny did as he instructed, taking slow, deep breaths, focusing on the rise and fall of her chest, on the way she could feel her heartbeat in her very fingertips, and she couldn't deny her shock as she felt some of her anxiousness begin to leave her. There were still a million emotions and thoughts spinning around in her head, and while she still needed to sort through them, she was forced to admit that his approach was helping.

"Pick one thought, focus on it, and walk me through it, Jen. Can you do that?"

She nodded slowly, and when she spoke, her voice was steadier than it had been moments ago.

"How could she do it, Jethro? How could she look into that sweet baby's face and willingly inflict harm? I could never do that. Not to Matthew, to Zelda...how could a person do that?"

"That's what makes you ten times the mother that she ever was. And no sane person would ever do the things she's done. She didn't deserve that little boy, and while it's not fair, sometimes these things happen."

"Jethro?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry. I always seem to be in the middle of one crisis or another."

"Nah," he said with a smile as he leaned down to kiss her, "You're just an amazingly passionate person."

"I love you."

"I love you too, Jen. So very much.

As Gibbs returned to Jenny's office that night, hours after everyone else had gone home for the day, he frowned at the light coming from the room. She was sitting behind her desk, speaking to someone on the phone, and she didn't so much as move as he approached her. He waited somewhat impatiently as she finished her call, and when she had finally hung up the phone ten minutes later, he glared at her.

"Come on."

"What?"

"It's 22:00. Time to go home."

She shook her head.

"I'm not finished working."

"Yes, you are," he said shortly, reaching for her arm.

"Jethro, I still have—"

"Didn't you listen to a thing Dr. Lentz told you last week?" he asked, his temper beginning to rise, "You can't keep working like this. It's late, you need to sleep, and I'm not taking no for an answer. Get your coat, and let's go."

Jenny sighed, shaking her head, and when he switched off her computer screen, she whipped around in his general direction, her expression furious.

"Jethro, you—"

"Do you want to end up hospitalised again?! Because if you keep this up, that's exactly what will happen! You have to slow down. You absolutely cannot work like this anymore."

The anger in his voice was undeniable, but she could also detect the hint of fear in his tone, and it was this more than anything that made her nod, standing slowly from the chair.

"Okay, Jethro," she said quietly, "We can leave."

Gibbs reached for her hand, almost as though he were afraid she was going to run from him, and as he led her to the door, she could feel his anger radiating from his body like heat.

"You're angry with me."

He nodded, wrenching open the door and as they walked to the elevator, he slapped the back of her head.

"Damn right I am. You're not listening to anything Dr. Lentz told you. You've been acting like nothing happened, going about your days like you always have, and I'm pissed. If you won't even try, then this isn't going to work."

She froze, unable to move even when the elevator doors opened, her hands shaking uncontrollably, and Gibbs frowned as he turned to look at her.

"Jen?"

"You're going to leave?"

He stepped away from the elevator, looking down at her seriously, shaking his head slowly.

"That's not—I didn't mean—" he sighed, trying to explain, "Jenny, I love you. More than anything in the world. But you're not holding up your end of our deal. You have to do what Dr. Lentz tells you, and take your medication. If you can't do that, or if you won't do that, then I can't be the only one who's trying."

Jenny's eyes unknowingly locked onto his, and she shook her head, trying to think of anything she could say to make him understand.

"I...I don't know how to completely change my life overnight. I just...I didn't see the point. I mean, I've made it this long without anything disastrous happening, so..."

"That's just it, Jen. You haven't. You just didn't see it. Don't you remember the Frog incident? You almost died because of that, and you can't honestly tell me that you would have been that reckless if you hadn't been sick. And Carrington? Setting yourself up for bait, again, almost getting yourself killed...and last week. You were in the hospital for four days. You've got to start taking this seriously. I told you once before to decide what was important to you. If you make the wrong decision, I will walk away. So, is it worth it? Is your stubborn mindset worth losing me?"

He reached for her hand, frowning when he realised she still hadn't stopped shaking, and he tilted her head up so he could see her eyes.

"Jen?"

"Please don't leave me," she whispered, "I can't lose you."

"Then make the right decision," he answered quietly, "I love you, but I won't watch you destroy yourself. Not anymore."

As they finally stepped onto the elevator, Jenny couldn't even bring herself to care about the fact that she still hadn't finished the email she'd been working on in her office.

Gibbs frowned when he woke at twenty-two minutes after one in the morning only to find himself alone in the bed. Jenny was nowhere to be seen, and a quick glance revealed that Aries was also missing from his bed, and he swung his feet to the floor, shivering slightly at the cold wood under his skin. He made his way slowly down the stairs, tilting his head curiously at the soft music he could hear as he neared the living room. His confusion vanished when his eyes landed on Jenny sitting behind the piano that Heather and Miranda had helped her move from her house to his a few days after her release from the hospital.

Her fingers moved over the keys effortlessly, a beautiful yet haunting melody spilling from the keys, and he smiled as he noticed Aries laying on the ground at her feet. He'd known that she'd played in her younger days, and while her technique was far from flawless, it was still mesmerizing to watch her as she let her fingers glide over the ivory. She took a slow breath as she finished playing, directing her unseeing gaze in the direction of the little dog on the ground, smiling slightly.

"Well, what do you think, Aries? Still needs a little work, right?"

Aries wagged his tail, the thumping sound making Jenny smile, and she shook her head.

"Hmm, why don't we ask Daddy what he thought?"

Gibbs frowned as she turned to face him, a slight smirk on her face.

"Stop looking so confused. Yes, I know you're standing there."

He laughed quietly, shaking his head as he walked closer, and as he wrapped his arms around her, he kissed her cheek.

"You sure you're blind? Because I should be able to sneak up on you."

"That might say more about your stealth ability than it does my vision, you know," she answered with a smile.

"What are you doing down here, Jen? It's after one in the morning."

She shrugged.

"I couldn't sleep. What about you?"

"Woke up because you weren't there," he admitted.

They stayed silent for a long moment, Jenny trying to sort through the thoughts in her head, and when Gibbs suddenly spoke, he reached for her hand.

"Jenny, about what I said—"

"Stop," she said quietly, "You were right, and as much as it scares me, I'm going to have to make changes in my life."

He frowned in confusion.

"What scares you about it?"

"Think about it, Jethro. What would you do if you suddenly had to give up every single one of your coping mechanisms, no matter how unhealthy they were? If you couldn't drink, couldn't bury yourself in work, and on top of it all, you had to take medication that you never knew how you'd react to? Whether you want to admit it or not, you and I are a lot alike. We both use alcohol and work to ignore the pain we feel, and neither one of us is a fan of pills."

Though he'd never considered it before, now that it was laid out so plainly before him, Gibbs had to admit that she was right. He nodded, kissing her cheek softly, and when he pulled her to her feet, he wrapped his arm around her, holding her against his chest.

"You're right. But no matter how scared you are, just remember that as long as you're trying, I'll always be there to help you. I don't care how angry I might be, I'm not going to let you fall."

"Really?"

He nodded, kissing the top of her hair as he steered her towards the steps, whistling for Aries as they walked.

"Kind of what those wedding vows were all about. For better or worse, remember?"

"You know that applies to you too, right? If you ever need to talk about anything, even if it's about me pissing you off—"

He kissed her as they reached the landing, holding her as close to his body as possible, running his hand through her hair.

"I know. That's one of the things I love most about you. You're always willing to put everyone else first, and you never stop helping people."

"Jethro?"

"Hm?"

"I love you."

Not waiting for him to respond, she crashed her lips to his, threading her fingers into his hair. He lifted her off her feet, holding her against him as he walked into the bedroom, kicking the door shut as soon as Aries had made it to his bed. She laughed breathlessly as he tossed her carefully on the mattress, her hair falling into her face, and as she reached up to run her fingers over his jawline, he pushed the hem of her nightgown up slowly.

Jenny ran her hand over his chest, slipping under his shirt, and as he kissed her again, his tongue sweeping into her mouth, she moaned quietly. The ringing of his phone made him groan in frustration, and as he pulled away to answer it, she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. Gibbs."

Moving her body close to his, Jenny traced patterns along his skin with her nails, raising up to lightly trail her lips along his throat. She felt him shiver as she ran her tongue along the shell of his ear, and when he suddenly tensed, she frowned. He hung up his phone slowly, turning to face her, and she could tell by the tone of his voice that something was wrong.

"Our case is closed."

She frowned again, sitting up straighter.

"What?"

"The Larson case. It's over."

Jenny was trying to think of any possible reason that their case would be suddenly abandoned, and when she realised it was likely her fault, she shook her head.

"I didn't mean to...Jethro, I—"

"Larson killed herself. Guard found her on his nightly rounds."

"W-what?" she asked weakly, "You mean...so that little baby isn't going to get any kind of justice?"

"I'm sorry, Jen."

Jenny was in such a state of shock and disbelief that she didn't even notice his apology. He reached for her, carefully pulling her into his arms, and as she laid her head on his shoulder, he could feel her shaking.

"That fucking bitch," she swore angrily, "She knew that she didn't stand a chance, and now we're never going to get justice for that precious little boy. It's not fucking fair, Jethro!"

He nodded, smoothing her hair with his hand.

"I know. If there was anything I could do to make it right, I would."

"I hate this. I hate feeling so helpless. If we'd gotten her, even though we couldn't save Elijah, we could have made sure that his murderer got what she deserved. It wasn't enough, but it was something. It was better than nothing."

He frowned, looking at her seriously.

"Rule ten, Shepard."

She shook her head angrily, glaring in his direction.

"Don't do that. Don't you fucking dare quote your precious rules right now. You know damn well that it isn't always possible to keep yourself from getting involved! Take your list and shove it up your ass."

Gibbs knew she was only lashing out in her anger and sadness, but it did little to soften the blow. He reached for her hand, trying not to take it personally when she pulled away from him with a shake of her head.

"Don't. We had one job. To find his murderer and make this at least a little right. One job! And that bitch took it away from us. She knew she would never walk, knew what she'd done, and she deserved every bit of what was coming to her!"

He suddenly realised why she was so invested in this case, and he shook his head sadly as he moved closer.

"Jen...I know it's hard. But...we got her. We did our part. You did that. You were the one who got her to confess. You didn't fail Elijah Larson. And you didn't fail Matthew, either."

She froze for a moment, then shook her head in confusion.

"This doesn't have anything to do with Matthew, Jethro."

"It has everything to do with him, Jenny. Don't think I didn't notice how invested you were in this, simply because it involved a child. Not only a child, but a little boy, one that had his life cut short. You still blame yourself for what happened to Matthew, even though it wasn't your fault. You've been trying to find a way to make that guilt go away, but you have nothing to be guilty for. You did absolutely nothing wrong."

Jenny couldn't stop the tears from filling her eyes, but she refused to let them fall, raising her eyes to the ceiling. Gibbs frowned as he watched her, reaching for her hand again. This time, she didn't move away, and as he ran his thumb over the back of her skin, he kissed her temple.

"You didn't do anything wrong. I promise. It's not your fault."

"Then whose fault is it? He was my son, I was the one who carried him, he was my responsibility, and I fucked it up!"

"It wasn't anyone's fault. It was just an accident. You didn't fuck anything up."

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her closer, and as he watched her fighting her tears, he felt his heart break.

"It's okay to cry, Jen," he whispered gently, "You don't always have to be the strong one."

Before she could even articulate a response, she blinked, tears falling slowly down her face. She buried her head in his shoulder, and as Leroy Jethro Gibbs held his wife in his arms, he'd never felt more helpless in his life.

After thanking the man who'd been kind enough to escort her to her destination, Jenny slowly sat down in the soft grass, shivering in the slight breeze. She reached out to run her fingertips over the headstone, tracing the letters slowly, the stone warm in the sunlight. Aries was sitting in the grass next to her, ever the obedient service dog, and as she pressed her palm against the stone, he watched her loyally.

"Hi, Matthew. I...I know I haven't been to visit in a long time, but...I didn't know what to say to you. I don't even know if you can hear me, wherever you are."

She paused, taking a deep breath to steady herself.

"I spent so long blaming myself for what happened to you. I mean, you were just a tiny little baby, and it was my job to keep you safe. I loved you so much, and I...felt like I let you down. Your daddy...he finally made me realise that it wasn't anyone's fault, but...what happened to you wasn't fair. I'm so sorry, and I wish I could have done something to keep you with us. Just know that no matter where you are, your daddy and I love you so much, and we will never forget you."

She sat there for a moment longer, her mind spinning as she let her hand fall to the grass, and as she realised her thoughts had taken a dark turn, she shook her head slowly. Standing carefully, she whistled for Aries, making her way out of the cemetery, and as she heard the voice of her driver, she picked up the dog.

"Ready to leave, Director?"

She nodded.

"Yes, but I have one more stop to make, if you don't mind."

"Of course, ma'am."

"Thank you, Ben."

As he drove her to Dr. Lentz's office, Jenny ran her hand slowly over Aries' head. If he couldn't help her, no one could.

"Good afternoon, Jenny. How are you feeling today?"

Jenny shook her head, feeling comforted by the warmth she could feel near her feet caused by Aries.

"I...I went to the cemetery today. To see Matthew."

The doctor nodded, looking at her seriously.

"And how did that make you feel?"

"It was...it was nice at first. I talked to him, got a few things off my chest, told him how much I loved him. But...as I was sitting there, I had the most intense urge to..."

She paused, reaching down to pet Aries, needing to feel close to him. He licked her hand gently, and Dr. Lentz took a drink of his water, his eyes never leaving her.

"To what, Jenny?"

"Ever since I was...ever since my father passed away, I've always had this morbid curiosity with death. This almost unbearable urge to dig up his grave and see his bones. I know it's crazy, and I would never do it, but I've always wondered what they looked like. I don't know if it's a scientific curiosity, merely to observe the decomposition process, or if it's something else. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't do it now, but...I just have this need to see them."

Dr. Lentz nodded, writing in his file.

"I don't think it's crazy. In fact, given your intellect, I'd say it's a combination of both reasons. I think you're curious about the rate of decomposition, and I think you also feel the need for closure. Even after all this time, the death of your father and son are difficult for you to accept, and while that's certainly understandable, you need to find away to let them go. Isn't that what you told Jethro, regarding his first wife and daughter?"

Jenny nodded, feeling immensely relieved that he didn't think she'd completely lost her mind.

"Don't forget them, Jenny. But don't cling to them, either. If you keep looking back, you'll never see what's right in front of you."

She raised her eyebrow in silent question, and he laughed.

"You know what I mean. Figuratively seeing."

Her smile was genuine as she looked at him, and she reached down to scoop Aries into her lap, kissing him gently.

"Thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. Knowing I'm not entirely insane."

She gave him another smile as their session came to a close, and as she made her way out to her car, she felt somehow lighter than she had in days. She just hoped the feeling would last. She didn't think she could handle another breakdown. Not now.

A/N: Hope you liked it. Until next week, have a great day!