Greg Fletcher had never been so exhausted in all his life. Nor so worried. Three days. His wife had been gone for three days. Out of commission for four. And it felt like everything had slowly gone to hell.
"Hey, Dad, what's for breakfast?" Carson had the refrigerator doors open as if he was surveying his kingdom.
Greg looked up from feeding Addy in the high chair. "Uh, leftover pizza from last night."
Carson turned up his nose at his father. "Aw, come on, Dad. That had pineapple on it. You know I hate pineapple on my pizza."
That rang a distant bell now that he thought about it. "Then, I don't know. Cereal?"
Carson looked chagrined, like he didn't want to be the bearer of bad news.
Greg tried to feed Addy another bite of sweet potatoes mixed with rice cereal. "What's wrong with that suggestion?"
Carson reached into the garbage can and revealed an empty milk carton. "No milk."
Damn.
Greg tried to think on his feet, but this was the kind of thing that Cassie did better than he did. After all, she was the artist, and he was the accountant. There were just some rules you didn't mess with. Letting Greg handle the facts and Cassie handle the creativity was one of those. "Uh, just this once, I'll let you put hot chocolate on your cereal."
Carson's nose crinkled again. "On raisin bran? Have you lost your mind?"
Greg had to bite back what he might have said under his breath to his wife if she'd been there. You better believe I've lost my mind. I'm telling you to put hot chocolate over your cereal.
Instead, Greg just sighed. "You know, when I was your age, we took turns making breakfast for the whole family. Maybe when your mom gets back, we can talk about you having more of a say in what we have for breakfast."
Carson's face lit up. "You mean I could help plan the groceries?"
"Only the groceries you need for what you're going to make, but yeah, I think that's reasonable."
Carson walked away from the fridge. "Hey, can we make some cookies after school today?"
The idea of adding even one more thing to his plate overwhelmed Greg, but he shrugged. "We'll see."
"Leave Dad alone, Carson. It's time for school anyway."
Greg didn't quite know how to explain to Harrison that the lectures and nagging didn't help as much as the twelve-year-old thought.
He'd have hoped that Harrison would have caught on after the first dozen fights Carson had put up in protest about who had the right to intervene in his life or not, but from the voices getting louder in the kitchen, fight number thirteen was well underway. With Harrison none the wiser about his own role in starting it. Once Greg had a few minutes to himself again, he'd pull Harrison aside and give him a few notes on how to best approach being an authority figure. The way Greg's dad had done when he'd been a power hungry fourteen-year-old trying to help discipline his younger siblings.
After a weekend of this helpfulness, Greg suspected he would need his own vacation. "Hey, guys, why don't you take Preston and go outside, hm?"
Both boys stopped bickering and stared at him. "But we have school."
Greg slapped his thigh as he stood, then cleaned up what was left of Addy's breakfast. "Well, I think it's high time you three remembered what it was like to be kids. It's a little chilly out there, but it's sunny and dry, and I think you three could use the fresh air."
Carson blinked at Harrison, then looked back at Greg. "But—my teacher's going to ask where I was..."
Greg wiped a sweet potato spot off his shirt. "And I'll explain it to her. Look, I'm taking the day off. Your mom's taking the day off. Maybe you three should take the day off, too."
The boys exchanged confused looks before Harrison chewed on the inside of his cheek. "Uh, Dad, are you okay? I mean, if you want me to, I can watch Addy while you call Mom or take a nap or—something."
Greg had to laugh at his son's response. "You know, when I was a kid, I would have moved heaven and Earth for my parents to give me a day off school. You two are trying to see if I've gone off the deep end. Man, times have changed."
Greg almost felt bad for the kids when they still didn't quite know what to do. He waved out the backdoor. "Take your brother outside. Do what Jack would do if he were here. I'll let your teachers know you're taking a mental health day."
Then, he looked at the baby and an idea formed in his mind. "Actually, you know what? I think Addy and I are going to join you."
"You?" Carson and Harrison spoke the word in unison.
Greg laughed, feeling a spark of something come back into him that had left a long time before Cassie's mental health had taken a turn for the worse. Something that being on call at home and at the office for the last ten months had almost erased forever. "Yes, me. We'll get some leaves and do some art for Mom when she gets back. Or we'll go on a hike. Or maybe we'll pretend we're explorers going through a ring to some alien culture."
Harrison rolled his eyes. "Like that's a thing."
Carson smacked his brother with one hand. "So what? It's pretend. No one cares if it would never happen."
Greg chuckled at his inside joke, though part of him ached for the woman who would have smiled her secret smile as the boys dismissed something they knew to be real and true. Who would have lain awake with him in bed giggling about how the kids would respond when they found out they were the children of one of those aliens who had come through such a ring.
The smile fell from his lips as the yearning threatened to overtake him. But instead of reaching for his phone and calling his wife, he picked up the baby and took her over to the sink where he proceeded to wash her face. "Boys, call Preston. Then, get your coats and stuff. Addy and I will be out there in a little bit."
"Okay..."
Harrison seemed a little more suspicious of the two, and Greg waved him away. "Seriously. If you're not outside in ten minutes, I'm going to make you stay home again tomorrow."
Harrison grinned. "You wouldn't really do that, would you, Dad?"
Greg managed a thin smile. "You want to go for three days?"
Harrison high-tailed it out of there, though there was a smile as large as Colorado on his face.
If only Cassandra had been here to see it...
Greg sighed as he picked Addy back up and handed her a teething ring which she immediately chomped down on. This year was extracting a heavier toll on him and his family than he'd expected, and he was both dreading and looking forward to the next one. After all, part of him wanted to admit that there wasn't much that 2021 could throw at them that could be worse than this last year. On the other, he really didn't want to find out how wrong he could be.
Greg walked Addy to the coat rack where he grabbed her baby coat and the shoes that had rested on the top of the credenza. "Come on, little girl, let's go play outside with your brothers."
The sight of his wife's name on the infotainment screen of the van made Greg's heart a little lighter. "Hey, babe. You're on speaker with the kids."
Before she had a chance to respond, there were four voices clamoring for her attention.
Dad isn't letting us go to school. What am I going to tell my teacher? Isn't this illegal?
When are you coming home?
Are you coming home in time for Santa?
Greg sighed as he put a hand up. "You guys, would you let your mother breathe for a minute?"
Only Addy babbled after that.
Cassie inhaled somewhat sharply. "Wow, sounds like there's a lot going on over there. No school, huh?"
Carson, having apparently unfastened his seatbelt, poked his head between the seats of the car. "Mom, I think Dad's losing it. He's taking us to the park. I have a test today!"
"Carson, put your seatbelt back on."
The eight-year-old crossed his arms and sulked as he got back in his seat and refastened his seatbelt.
Greg turned his attention back to his wife. "Sorry for the executive decision, but we were all going a little nuts in that house."
"I don't blame you. Online school can be rough."
No mention of how the boys' worry for her had been making it harder, but then Greg suspected his wife already knew that it was the special circumstances that had prompted the outing, not just the frustration with school.
"Anyway, we're going to the Shenandoah National Park. Maybe we'll stay in the car. Probably find a corner where we can take a little hike."
She sounded tired. "Well, have fun."
"We will." Greg let his gaze dart from the freeway and to the screen that proclaimed her name. "What did you want to talk about, babe? I've got an hour or so with the boys in the car."
"It's fine, Greg. We can talk later."
Their code for this isn't a conversation to have in front of the boys.
"Hey, Cass?"
"Hmm?"
Greg looked back at their four kids, all with eager faces at the sound of their mother's voice. "You know we love you, right?"
The chorus of little voices started up again, but this time they all seemed to trust the sentiment.
It sounded like there were tears in Cassie's voice. "I love you, too. All of you. I promise I'll be home soon."
Despite his own exhaustion, Greg was as sincere as he could be. "Take your time, babe."
As the call came to a close, Preston cleared his throat. "Daddy?"
"Yeah, buddy?"
Preston sighed, then looked out the window. "Is Mommy ever coming home?"
Greg's heart tightened at the question. "Sure, she is, pal. She just needs a little space right now. Just like Sam said."
"Oh."
Greg tapped the steering wheel as he tried to figure out the best way to explain it. "Do you remember before the pandemic when I'd have to go away on business trips?"
Preston scrunched up his face, confused. "Business trips?"
It didn't surprise Greg that the kid had trouble remembering. After all, the pandemic had lasted almost a quarter of the little boy's short life.
From beside him, Harrison turned to face the rest of the kids. "Yeah, Dad would be gone for a week while we were in school. Then, he'd come back for the weekend."
Leave it to Harrison to know the drill forward and backward.
"All I'm saying is that it's like Mom's on a business trip. She'll come back, and she'll want to spend a bunch of time with you. In the meantime, however, it's just the five of us."
"Going on an adventure." Carson practically rolled his eyes when he said the words.
Instead of lecturing him, however, Greg just sighed. "I don't know about you guys, but I could use an adventure right about now."
To his surprise, Harrison spoke up. "Me, too."
Greg patted Harrison's knee with a grateful smile as Addy babbled something that seemed to indicate approval with a note of finality in her tone. Like the decision had ultimately rested in her hands.
Greg looked into the mirror again, able to see his daughter's expression thanks to the mirror she faced as well. With her teething ring in one hand, she looked prepared for just about anything. Another moment that made him grateful to be these kids' dad. "My thoughts exactly, baby girl."
"You got it, buddy?"
Harrison looked up from where he and his brothers sat on a picnic blanket with their lunches. "Sure, Dad."
Greg gestured back to the parked van. "I've got to change your sister's diaper, but after lunch, we'll go on a hike, okay?"
"Hey, Dad?" Greg looked at Carson who was still setting his food out on the blanket.
"Yeah, bud?"
Carson's smile was shy. "I didn't know how much I needed this until we got here and saw the trees and felt the sun on our faces."
Greg ruffled the boy's brown hair. "Neither did I."
With Addy in the hiking backpack that they had packed for this sort of family adventure as he walked back to the car, Greg reached into his pocket for his phone. Then, dialed his wife. It wasn't a terribly long walk back to the car, but he hoped it would be just enough time for him to hear what she didn't think she could say in front of the boys.
"Is the party over so soon?"
Greg couldn't help but smile at the sound of his wife's voice. "No. The boys are eating a picnic lunch, but I'm headed back to the car because Addy needs a new diaper. I thought this might be a good chance to check in with you."
There was a long pause. "I'm feeling better. A little every day."
Greg stopped as he listened to the tone of Cassie's voice. Like he wasn't going to like what she had to say next. "But..."
She sighed. "But I think the real cure to this thing is to go home."
Greg frowned. "But we rented the house through the end of December. We even made arrangements to stay through New Year's."
"I know. That's not what I mean."
Greg considered the word again. Home. As in... "Oh. You want to go back to where you were born."
As if she'd expected resistance, the words spilled out of Cassie's mouth quickly. "Sam and Jack don't think it will be a big deal. At least, not once the pandemic is over."
Greg scoffed, not because of her idea but because of how many things they'd promised each other they would do after the pandemic. "But who can predict when that will be."
Cassie's own laugh was brittle. "Precisely."
Greg resumed his walk to the car, mulling their problem over in his mind. "Look, if having Sam and Jack nearby is helpful, I can call and talk to the rental agency about extending our trip."
"Don't be silly. We're already pushing it with our savings doing this much."
He couldn't argue with her there. As it was, their plans to get a new van had been pushed back almost six months so they could accommodate the visit. He had been totally on board with coming for the visit, given how close they'd come to losing Sam six months ago, but that didn't mean he didn't see dollar signs whenever he thought about the van needing repairs.
If they hadn't been living in the house Cassie inherited when her mother died, Greg probably would have fought harder against coming. It would have been too hard a pill to swallow to pay rent and a mortgage for a man who'd studied finance in college and then gone on to get his MBA a couple years later. As it was, he felt a little queasy when he considered paying utilities on a house he wasn't going to be in for six weeks.
Greg hesitated to mention the other thing that he was considering. It would also take a toll on their savings, and there was no guarantee that it would actually help. Still... "We could always move."
"Greg, honey, as much as I appreciate the support, you and I both know that's not an option."
Greg opened the van door and removed the hiking backpack that safely protected his daughter inside. "What do you mean, it's not an option? Sure, it's not foolproof, but it's not impossible. The kids could switch schools, and I could keep telecommuting. We could probably even sell your mom's house for a pretty penny. I mean, the market's not great right now, but given the amount of work we've put into it—"
"Greg—" There was a dangerous edge to her voice now, and he suspected it was because he'd suggested selling Janet Fraiser's house. Though they had a good marriage, that had always been a point of contention between them, the idea that one day, they might have to let go of the property. Especially with their growing family.
Greg sighed as he made quick work of Addy's diaper. "Okay, fine. We can table the discussion until you're up to it. Just know that if you want to move to DC, I think it's feasible. We just need to make the decision sooner rather than later."
Silence grew between them as Greg waited for his wife to say something to him, any kind of feedback which would give him an idea of where she stood on the idea.
"Call me crazy, but I think being close to Sam and Jack has been good for the kids."
He could almost see the way Cassie's lips would have lifted at that idea. "They say it's been good for them, too."
He dodged Addy's pudgy fingers as she tried to get at the cell phone. "I didn't bring this up to stress you out, babe. I just thought that it's something we should at least get out in the open. I know Sam getting COVID was hard on you, especially with everything you've lost. So, if this is what you need, we'll make it work."
There was a long silence, and Greg worried that he'd offended his wife somehow he couldn't have anticipated.
Then, she sniffled. "I miss you, you know that? You always know just what to say."
"And if we had access to some alien technology that let us reach through the phone and hug our loved ones, you know I'd be right there with you, right?"
"I love you."
"Me, too." Greg turned to his daughter. "Say bye-bye to Mama."
The baby gurgled into the phone as she tried to take it, but Greg was too fast for her. "Get some rest, babe. We'll get through this."
As he hung up the phone, he sighed. The emptiness crowded in on him again. "We'll get through this," he repeated.
Addy gave him an open-mouthed kiss, then leaned her cheek on his shoulder. Funny how even the smallest of his kids knew just what he needed to make it through the next few minutes.
He kissed the top of her head. "I love you, too, Addy girl."