Chapter Thirty Five:

Han was once again playing sabacc, and he knew when Luke woke up, because the other kid's eyes fell upon Han... who could feel it. It had been another day since Luke's odd behavior— well, more peculiar than had been normal.

Han still wasn't convinced of Luke's attempt to cover up whatever was going on with a request for more to eat. Sure the kid was hungry, but Han could read from Luke's eyes that something was bothering him. There was an almost... expectant look in his cerulean gaze that put Han on edge. It was like Luke knew something was about to happen, and he was just waiting for it to do so.

But what could that possibly be?

Hazael was gone, Luke hadn't been hassled by anyone since the new nurse's blunder— to Han's knowledge— and the boy was healing nicely according to the medic. So the lack of possibilities had Han stumped.

Han had been hoping to find a way to get Luke to talk about what was bothering him.

So for now he let Luke watch him, hoping Luke would strike up conversation. The kid still didn't talk much or very well, but Han knew that could and would change with time and effort on Luke's part. Han wondered if Luke knew Han was aware of his being awake, because he stared for so long in silence that Han almost cracked and spoke first.

But at last Luke ventured a few words. "Why do you... like that... game?"

Han blinked, taken aback by the question. He looked up to find that Luke was openly curious as to what could possibly be so intriguing about a deck of cards. Han supposed it was a fair question, but it was one that gave the older boy pause. In truth, Han had never stopped to think of why he loved sabacc. He just... did.

Han set the few cards in his hand on the small table before him and looked to Luke. "Ah..., you know, I've never really thought about it?" Han pursed his lips, digging deep before he was able to answer honestly. "But I suppose I enjoy sabacc because it's a way to pass the time, it soothes me, and it really doesn't take too much to play. As long as you pay attention and know the rules, it can be fun and relaxing. Depending on the stakes."

"Stakes?" Luke repeated, clearly unfamiliar with the term.

"Yeah," Han said, nodding. "Sabacc is a betting game more often than not. The point is to be the person with the best hand, or group of cards. The one with the best hand wins. And what is won depends on who is playing and what each player bets."

"What is... a bet?" Luke inquired.

"It's something you agree to pay or give to the winner if you lose to them in a card game." Han tried to explain. "I've seen people bet ships, trinkets, services to be owed... all kinds of things."

Luke considered that. "Why would you... want to... risk something... like that?"

Han pursed his lips. "Well, the challenge is... what's the word... exciting. It feels good to win, especially when you're risking a lot."

Luke didn't say anything then, and Han supposed the other's curiosity was sated. Han supposed it was his turn now to ask a question.

"So, what's been bothering you lately?"

Luke froze; eyeing Han like a caged animal would watch someone outside its pen. "What?"

Han gave Luke a knowing look. "I know something has been bothering you, and I think it has nothing to do with you suddenly wanting second helpings."

Luke looked away, and Han went on. "The other afternoon, when I asked what was wrong, and you looked about ready to answer more than once... and then you shifted gears on me. So... what's really going on?"

Luke hunkered down, and Han sighed, softening. "Hey, Luke, you can talk to me: you know that, right? I'm not going to make fun of you or anything." Going with his gut, Han added one thing, which he meant entirely. "Friends don't make each other feel bad on purpose."

Luke's suddenly wide eyes shot to Han's, and he stared. For the first time ever, Han thought he saw hope swim within Luke's gaze. The blond leaned forward almost subconsciously.

"Y... you want... to be my... f-friend?" Luke asked timidly.

Han nodded once, smiling earnestly. "I do. I don't have many of them myself, but you've grown on me, Kid. So, yeah, I see us as friends." Han tilted his head. "What about you? Do you want to be my friend?"

Luke sat back, clearly not having expected that either. "You're... asking... m-me?"

Han lifted a brow. "I think so," he looked around pointedly, "unless you see anyone else here but us."

Luke shook his head. "No one's... ever asked... for my... opinion."

Han mulled that over, but then sat forward and held out a hand. "Well, how about it? Want to be friends?"

Luke stared first at the hand, and then looked to Han's face, reading him. After long seconds, Luke gingerly lifted his hand... and placed it in Han's, though he didn't have much strength.

"Friends," Luke whispered, his voice choking with such emotion that Han's own eyes misted.

Han cleared his throat discreetly, wiping at his eyes to avoid actually crying. "Alright. Now, as friends, you should know that it's good to talk to each other about things that are bothering us. So..."

Luke considered, that fear returning to his gaze as he looked about furtively. "I... don't know... what's... going on." Han frowned, and Luke tried to explain, so the brunet withheld from commenting at that time. "...don't know... what I hear... but I hear...something I can't... explain. It happened... before, only differently."

Han was a little perplexed, trying to make sense of Luke's words. "So... whatever is going on now is... similar to what happened before. Right?"

Luke nodded; clearly glad Han was taking him seriously.

"But you don't know what is happening?" Han finished.

Luke shook his head. "But it... scares me."

Han's heart clenched at that, and he considered. "Maybe you could talk to your father or..."

"No."

Han blinked at the sour note in Luke's voice. "Why not?"

Luke turned his head away, his lips thinning out. "Don't... want them... around."

Han frowned, but recalled how things had been tense between Luke and his family lately. "Care to explain that?"

Luke shook his head. "No."

Han blew out a breath, trying to remain patient. "You know they love you, Luke..."

An acerbic snort sounded from the other boy. "Do they?"

Han sat back, unsure what to make of this. "Yes."

Luke turned then, his eyes hurt and angry all at once. "How can you know that?"

This time Han was ready, and he didn't hesitate. "I know because your sister spent weeks looking into your disappearance. And before you ask: I helped her do it, that's how I know."

Luke clearly hadn't anticipated that, and he seemed unprepared in his response, so he looked down. "They... don't want... me."

"The hell they don't!" Han snapped, surprising even himself. Luke jumped at Han's sudden fervor, and his eyes returned to Han, fixating on the older boy as Han went on. "Your family has always wanted you!"

Luke glared back now, years of suppressed anger and hurt surfacing to boil his blood. "Then where were they!" It was the first entire sentence Luke had said without halting. Tears spilled from his eyes now as he continued. "Why did they... leave me with... Hazael?! Where were they when... I was beaten... time and again?! Where were... they when I was... nearly drowned on... every year-mark... of my being taken?! When I was... refused food... for so long I... nearly died?! Why didn't... my family... come to... get me... out of my hell... when they've been... living in luxury?!" Luke began to sob in earnest, and he choked out another sentence. "Why was my... father... not there... to protect me?"

Luke broke down then, burying his face in his hands and heaving out great swaths of tears. His body shook so heavily Han feared he would topple from the bed. Han had never seen Luke lose it so completely for purely emotional reasons. He suddenly felt guilty for bringing it up, for opening what was clearly still a raw wound for the other.

But at the same time, Han knew it had to be said. Someone had to get to the bottom of what was going on with Luke and his family.

Han risked laying a hand on Luke's back in an effort to offer comfort, and to his surprise, Luke didn't pull away, but instead spoke more.

"I... can't stand having my windows... open!" Luke cried. "I'm so used... to being in a small cell... no light... no freedom... and suddenly I have it all... and it's frightening! I almost..." Luke blushed, ashamed. "...almost want to go back..." He wiped at his nose, which was running now. "I... don't belong anywhere! I... have nothing... am nothing... know nothing! I'm useless... worthless... unworthy..." Luke hugged his arms about him in a display of vulnerability. "I shouldn't... even still... be here..."

Han gaped. "You're kidding me, right?" Luke couldn't look at him, Han saw. "Of course you should still be here. And I for one am glad you are."

Luke sagged back into his bed, weary from the exertion he'd put forth. "I'm free... but I don't know... what to do... with it." He shivered, and Han helped him retrieve his blankets. "I'm afraid... of everything."

Han pondered his answer, and then sat down so he could meet Luke's gaze. "Listen to me, Luke."

Luke indicated that he was doing so, and Han went on.

"You may not know much outside of the life you were forced to live, and perhaps you don't know what to do with the sudden change." Han closed his eyes momentarily. "I understand. I was a slave of sorts myself. Only I willingly stepped into my slavery. I only recently broke free of the man I had indebted myself to."

Luke was clearly intrigued, so Han began to tell Luke of his life, beginning with being left on the streets. He explained how he had struggled to survive, and eventually meet Anani. He'd explained how life with her had been bleak, but bearable because she'd loved him and he her. He then told Luke how he had ended up with Zuph, what he had done for the man, and how he had finally gotten away.

When he was done, Luke looked upon Han in a new light.

"How have you... coped with your new... freedom?"

Han laughed sadly. "In truth, I don't think I have. I'm just really good at covering it up."

Luke thought that over, and then laid a gentle hand over Han's. "Thank you... for telling me."

Han smiled somewhat and then decided to make a point. "See? Friends tell each other stuff. Doesn't it feel better to get some of the things you told me off your chest?"

Luke's mouth twisted into what Han thought was a gesture of thought, but Luke nodded hesitantly. "It does. But I still... don't want to see... my family right now."

Han sighed, wondering what it would take to get Luke to soften up. "Well, at least try to be nicer to them? Not so openly negative?"

Luke looked away, but nodded once. Han supposed it was a start.

00000

It was evening, and Han was waiting for a double-click on his comlink. That sound would be the signal to alert him to the fact that the Skywalker family was at the hospital. After Luke had nodded off after his emotional ordeal, Han had contacted Anakin and asked to meet with either him alone or his family and the man. Anakin had naturally asked why and Han had told him it was in regards to Luke, and he felt the family should know what he did.

Anakin had spoken with Padmé and they'd agreed to keep the entire family fully in the loop, so they'd all agreed to come. Han had suggested the evening after Han and Luke's conversation: this was to avoid Luke becoming suspicious.

As it was, Luke was just turning to his latest meal, a larger helping of broth that the boy seemed to be growing tired of.

"Any chance... there's more than... just broth I... can eat?" Luke asked, staring down into the amber liquid.

Han heard the signal on his comlink and welcomed the excuse to leave. "I don't know, let me go see. It might take a while, since the medical staff can be stubborn."

Luke nodded, and Han took his leave, closing the door behind him as always. Once outside the room, Han breathed a slow sigh.

Then he walked to the lobby entrance just as the family entered using their passes. Han waved them over and together the group located a small alcove with just enough seating for them all.

Once everyone was in place, Anakin looked to Han expectantly. "Alright, we're here; what's this about?"

Han ran a hand over his hair. "I warn you, this won't be pleasant, but I thought you had the right to know what I found out yesterday."

Everyone shifted, but no one objected, so Han cleared his throat. "Alright. I got Luke talking a bit, and he ended up ranting about some things. The bottom line is this: he thinks you guys abandoned him to his fate with Hazael."

Both Anakin and Padmé straightened, looking like they'd been slapped. Leia glanced away, swallowing hard while Ijon merely frowned, clearly not understanding. Han gave them a moment, seeing if anyone would speak before he would continue.

"What led you to this conclusion?" Padmé asked, her voice laced with apprehension.

"He said a lot of things like 'why didn't they do this or that'..." Han replied. "He holds a lot of anger over what he thinks was you all living in luxury while he rotted in hell."

Anakin placed his face in his palms, breathing through his fingers in a deliberate manner. Only then did he look up. "Please tell us exactly what he said to you."

Han did so, though he hesitated when he got to the final line, giving Anakin a wary look. Anakin frowned. "Go ahead."

Han bit his lip, but did as asked. "He wants to know why his father wasn't there to... ah," Han rubbed the back of his neck, "to protect him."

Anakin's face fell, and he slumped in his seat. He looked to the side, one hand to his mouth as he struggled emotionally. Leia began to weep, overwhelmed, and Ijon was growing concerned, so he rubbed his sister's back to try soothing her.

Padmé laid a hand on Anakin's knee. "Luke had to have been fed lies." She was trying to be stable for them all. "How could he possibly think we would abandon him unless he was told we had abandoned him? We had no knowledge of him, but Luke doesn't know that."

Anakin shook his head, tears leaking from his eyes. "I know, but it still hurts to know that Luke has a point. I wasn't there to protect him."

"That's not your fault Daddy," Leia whispered. "You would have been there in a heartbeat, and nothing in this galaxy would have stopped you from getting to Luke if you'd known."

Padmé nodded, smirking somewhat. "I think we all know you would have carved out a new, faster hyperspace lane to get to Luke if you had learned the truth before now."

Anakin snorted once, a hint of a smirk crossing his lips. He was grateful for Padmé's attempt to cheer him up. Anakin chose to accept her offering, knowing that he could not afford another breakdown. He looked to Han. "Was there anything else?"

"That was all he said about the family," Han said, "but he did admit that he is afraid of everything, and he feels out of place. And..." Han bit his lip. "Well, he doubted he should still be alive. I stepped on that one really quick, though." Han hastened to add when the three elder Skywalkers all began to show signs of panic. "He doesn't think that anymore that I am aware of. I shared with him my past, and it helped him to know that I had a similar past to his."

Han looked to Anakin and Padmé. "I don't know your pasts, but I think... I can connect with him because I can relate to his past as a slave."

Anakin looked pensive. "I was a slave for the first nine years of my life."

Han blinked, taken aback. The Hero With No Fear had been a slave?

Seeing Han's expression, Anakin offered a sad smile. "My past isn't the happiest. But the point is that I understand slavery firsthand."

Han pursed his lips. "Maybe you could use that to connect with Luke then?"

Anakin nodded thoughtfully. "I agree."

Han glanced to the chrono and stood. "Listen, I told Luke I'd be back with something to eat, so I should get going before he gets worried."

The family stood, and while Padmé began to usher the children back to the exit, Anakin offered a hand. "Thank you for this, Han. It was the right thing to do."

Han shifted, feeling guilty nonetheless. "Then why doesn't it feel like it is? I kinda feel like I went behind Luke's back."

Padmé, Leia and Ijon were a good distance down the hall now, and Han watched them just to have something to look at.

Anakin placed a hand on Han's shoulder. "It was right because without this information, we would not be able to properly address Luke's needs."

Han knew Anakin was right. "Yeah. I just... he actually wants to be my friend. He said he has none, so I wanted to be his first one, you know. And... I don't want to be that person who he feels betrayed him."

Anakin nodded knowingly. "I understand. Maybe don't say anything now, but in time, when things are looking better."

"Good idea." Han agreed. He made to turn but then recalled something else. "By the way, Luke said something else, but I can't make heads or tails of it. Maybe you could, seeing as you're a Jedi Master and all."

Anakin straightened, openly intrigued. "Do tell."

"He says that something he cannot explain is frightening him, and he says it's happened before, but differently." Han offered a sheepish shrug. "He didn't explain it much better than that, but I can tell you this has been going on for a few days now. In fact, he's asked me a couple times— before this explanation of his— if I'd heard anything. I'd say no, and he'd fall quiet, but I could see in his eyes that he was uncomfortable."

Anakin considered, and Han waited patiently, though he felt pressed for time. "It could be his Force abilities returning."

Han tilted his head. "Luke's Force-sensitive like you?"

Anakin nodded. "He is, and he is very strong with the Force. But he has no knowledge of it, so he doesn't understand what's happening."

Han pursed his lips. "Can I tell him anything that might help him?"

Anakin glanced back to see Padmé had paused at the exit and was looking at him curiously. Anakin gestured to indicate he was coming, and then turned back to Han. "Try to assure him that it's natural, and that Luke shouldn't be afraid of it. If something happens that seems Force-related, call me directly please."

Anakin looked down the hall. "I'll visit him tomorrow."

Han nodded. "Alright. I don't know much of the Force, but I will do my best to help him where I can."

Anakin inclined his head, tilting it curiously the next moment. "You've been staying with Luke an awful lot. Why?"

Han sighed. "The doctor found to about my... ah, status. He was duty-bound to help me so we worked out a temporary deal that benefitted both of us. I stay with Luke, and he holds off on sending me to an orphanage." Han shuddered. "And I get a say in where I go."

Anakin seemed impressed. "Padmé's been looking into options as well, since Leia asked us to help you."

Han blinked. "Leia asked you to help me?"

Anakin smiled softly. "She did. She really cares for you." Anakin patted Han on the back. "When Padmé has something we will let you know."

Han nodded once. "Alright, thank you Sir."

They parted ways then, with Han veering off to the kitchen to wrangle something liquid that wasn't broth for Luke. The kitchen staff had to get permission from Doctor Kness, but finally they agreed on something.

Thus when Han reentered Luke's room, he smiled widely. "What'd I tell ya, huh Kid? It took some finagling, but I managed to get you something. It's liquid gelatin, and I think this may become your new favorite."

Han handed Luke the bright-red beverage. "And, to make it even better, its berry flavored."

Luke smiled. "Alright." He tasted it and indeed his eyes lit up. "Mmm!"

Han smiled, realizing Luke had no suspicions about Han leaving the room. "What did I tell ya?"

(A/N: I will be going on a vacation, so it'll be a while before I post again. I may get one more chapter up, I'm not sure, but I leave Saturday. So, see you all in the near future!)