3.13: A Heart Too Large
Pixie

January 6, 2020

"Your first assignment's a bit of a weird one."

Matriarch and Skysong are talking but you're barely paying attention. Instead, you're trying to figure out where Matriarch's eevee is. You can smell it. Sometimes it even brushes against your mind to taunt you. But you can't figure out what direction it's in. Very confusing. So far the humans have talked about birds (which was boring, especially since Skysong didn't say very much about it) and your stories (which are probably the best stories humans have ever heard). And now they're talking about 'missions' or something.

"It's a little like the paras one." You perk up. Those were the friends that Skysong tried to keep after telling you she wouldn't. Anything like that is very suspicious. "Just catch a bunch of butterfree. Mainland breeders want more genetic diversity and the DNR dropped all capture limits since they're invasive and…"

"The world's ending?"

"And the world is ending, yes. We'll at least compensate you for the balls. The amount above that depends on what colors you get. Blue are the most valuable, normal white are the least…"

What! White is the best color. Why do humans want it the least? One of the reasons why they will never be nearly as good as vulpix.

You lead Skysong back through the field of death. She plods on behind you much slower than normal. You hurry up and the little bell she put on your collar rings loudly. Good. She can move faster and stop dragging her stupid stick behind her. And if she's annoyed and out of breath then she will not be in the mood to make friends and you will not have to deal with smelly bugs.

You reach the edge of the wonderfully cold cave after passing the scents of five butterfree.

"Haven't found anything yet?"

"No. We are at the cold cave. Can I play there?"

"Pix," she groans. "It's too cold for humans. Sorry, but I just want to get this over with."

"There may be butterfree in the cave."

"There aren't. Come on. Please."

You walk into the cave with Skysong behind you. Once her footsteps are answered from all sides she stops. "No. Out of the cave."

"Okay."

You keep walking forward. Skysong stops and stands strong. "Out. Now."

A hiss leaves your lips before you can stop it. This is strange for her. Is she finally showing who she really is? Or is she that upset over her stupid rock. You walk forward and the cave rings with the sounds of your bell. "Fine," Skysong says. "I'll do this with Coco."

She doesn't need you. She doesn't want you. Fine. You don't need her. You sit down and flick your seven-and-two-ninths tails behind you. It's cold. You really like the cold. But the ground is hard. You can feel all the bumps of the rock beneath your fur and there's no snow to cushion it.

Something loud splashes in the river running through the cave. Nothing big enough to be afraid of. A bat flies overhead and calls to its companions. You shoot out a powder snow B (the straight glowing one) but the light only shows how much you missed by. Oh. It also shows a lot of angry bats. An A (icy wind Skysong calls it, because it is a wind that is icy) slows most of them down but then it's time to run to the exit. None follow you; they wouldn't dare. You're still afraid one might defecate on your beautiful coat, so you still leave as soon as you can.

Eggbreath tackles you as soon as you're out. "Sister! Play?"

"After we find a butterfree."

A deep rumble comes from Eggbreath and she stamps her foot. "Want to play with sister."

"But won't you get cold? You can play indoors later."

Eggbreath stops to consider this. "Indoor play!"

"Good. I'll see you then." A flash of red light shows Coco's harness still lying on the ground. Skysong hadn't even been able to get it on. "The Pokémon Center sells bloodcicles. I can get you one if you find me more than one butterfree."

What. She could have bought you frozen blood at any time? And she didn't? Why? Do all of them sell frozen blood? Because now you want one whenever you have to sleep inside. At least one per night. Maybe three.

"Three."

"One a day for three days? I want you to leave room for real food."

"One a day always."

"Pix… I'm sorry, but I don't have the money." You can hear her legs crunch up and her voice gets lower to the ground. "When my sister and I got kicked off our mountain, our father sent us to different places. I need money to find her. I'm already spending too much as it is and…" She takes a deep breath. "One a day until we get back on the trail. Final offer."

Humans keep six. This means that Skysong was in a full litter of nine. One got sick and died. Skysong says it's her fault. You still don't understand why. Two were kicked off. Eight out of nine lived. She must have had a very good father.

Still. This is a problem. She wants her stupid rock when it's gone. She wants her sister back, even if it means making you mad—and you are definitely better than her sister. Skysong won't settle for what she has. She wants to give love to everyone, like Ho'oilo. It's a problem that you'll have to tell her about later.

The wind picks up and you can faintly smell rain on it. No. You really need to hurry up now.

"Deal."

It doesn't take too long to find a smelly bug. They always come out when it rains, and they can sense it coming almost as well as you do. "Found one."

{Thanks.}

"Hey," Skysong calls out. "Butterfree. With the big wings and antennae. I can catch you if you want. Take you some place warm with enough food."

The bug immediately starts flying closer. Weird. Pokémon usually don't trust humans that much. You certainly didn't when you first saw one. With good reason, too. They can take you far, far away from home and never let you go back.

"Oh, and I can hear you if you say something. We can talk if you want."

"Freeeee!" The bug trills.

{I'll try to let you listen…}

Good. You deserve it. And it makes you trust her a little bit.

"Warm! Where is it warm!" It's a little garbled and it doesn't sound much like the stupid bug.

"We have big… caves that are still warm. And nectar we got before the sun went away. I can take you to one."

"Is there light?"

"There will be, yes. In a few days. We'll have to move you some place with light first."

"I remember when there was light everywhere! It wasn't there when I grew wings. I thought that winged ones just couldn't see until an older winged one told me what happened."

Skysong pauses. "I'm not sure what to say to that."

The butterfree trills in an obnoxiously high pitch. "That's because you live for ages."

"I guess. I'm only—actually that probably is a long time for you."

"Ooooh! How old?"

You snort. How silly. There's no way that Skysong could ever want one of these stupid, smelly bugs.

"Fifteen years. That's fifteen dry seasons and fifteen wet seasons."

You can hear the bug's wingbeats slow as she lands on the ground. "Many generations ago… I've never even heard of anyone that old." She beats her wings again. "Are you sure they let winged ones in to this place? There's a patch of light nearby but they keep us away. Say it's for other bugs. I think all of the winged ones should storm it at once: they can't stop us all if we fly reallh fast and low to the ground. But the others say that the humans have fire pokémon and they'd still win."

Maybe. You could easily defeat eighty-one butterfree yourself, even if they did attack all at once. Your ice is stronger than it's ever been and you can cast it out wide. You flick the nub of your eighth tail. Soon it will become a full tail and then you will grow a ninth and then you will be unstoppable.

"You would have to live in a human-built cave. Just making sure you get that, right?"

Fool. Trying to talk her prey out of being preyed upon. This is why she needs you.

"But it has light and food?"

"Yes."

"Good!"

Skysong hums, faintly. "Do you know where the big building where people stay is?"

"I think so! It's near the big water?"

"It is."

The bug trills again. "I can smell big water! And you make lots of noise."

"Good. Do you think some of the other winged ones would like to go with me as well?"

"Yes! We all need warm. And food. Many have already…" The bug's mental voice falters and the physical cries stop. "They needed warm and food."

"I'm sorry to hear that." The bug doesn't answer. "I've also lost family. I want to help you." She sounds sincere. You remember a pokémon one of your earlier humans told you about. It has big eyes and a fluffy tail. It cries and prey comes closer. Then the tail whips around and it's actually a giant mouth and it eats whatever wanted to help it. Skysong is like that now, pretending to be something she isn't so that her prey comes to her.

"I'll.." Water starts trickling down from the sky. The bug's scent shifts. "I'll find others. Bring them to the big water."

"Thank you."

You've just finished your delicious treat when the first bug arrives. Skysong asked you to bark when it happened, and you do it because you're the best and you deserve at least two of these snacks a day. The door opens and she steps out. "You here to be caught?"

A shrill cry, harsher than the last butterfree's, answers.

"Alright. Come to my voice. I'll catch you once I can feel you."

It takes a lot of restraint to let the bug get that close to your human, but you hold back. Catching these means more money means more treats. And maybe not another 'sister.' Maybe. If you just keep eating enough frozen blood than she won't have money for that and you win.

The bug disappears in a big red flash. Skysong stands still before sighing and turning around with one of her spinning things. "How many more do you think are coming?"

You can hear at least one.

Skysong sits up in her nest and stares ahead. At one point she was listening to some stupid human drawl on about beldum, but her phone stopped talking a long time ago and she's still sitting up and staring. Not asleep: her heart rate is unsteady and fast. Eggbreath yawns and shakes herself awake on the other side of Skysong. The human still doesn't move.

"Outside?" Eggbreath asks. She's probably wiggling her butt like she does when she has to mark her territory. Even though Skysong can't see it. Stupid.

"Hmm?" Skysong says. She lets the sound hang, like she doesn't have any idea what else to say. "We don't trade off for another half hour. I can take you out to dad if you want?"

"Want."

Skysong finally draws herself up on unsteady legs. You make sure to flick a tail against her and keep the leash in your mouth. Much as you hate Eyerock, you didn't have to wear the harness much when they was around. There's no point in wearing it when no one can see how pretty it is.

You walk Skysong over to the big room with the flickering rat and then out into the wonderful cold. Eggbreath immediately screeches and Claws answers. They run towards each other and start their 'can I bite harder than you can scratch' game. You would play and easily win just by breathing cold breath, but then they'd attack you together and you might get their blood on your fur and that's terrible.

"How many have you caught?" Skysong asks.

"Seventeen butterfree for fifty-nine total. Plus five metapod. I caught 'em. Think that VStar will buy?"

That is far, far too many bugs. Almost seven full sets of tails.

"Metapod?" Skysong asks. "How?"

"Butterfree carried them here."

Skysong leans back against the wall. They're both quiet for a while as the birds fight each other with increasingly loud screeches. Another bug approaches. You bark to tell them and Skysong passes it on to Bloodrage. "Great. Down to one ball out here. Can you buy more?"

"Okay. Back in a bit."

You pull the leash taut and guide Skysong through the door and up to the woman who sold you the blood. "Need more balls?" she asks.

"Yes," Skysong says. "Twenty. Normal ones."

"Might need a second talonflame to carry them all at this rate."

"I… is that a problem?" Skysong asks. She sounds afraid. Is this 'talonflame' a threat?

"Not really. Trails are empty. Not nearly as many runs to make. The birds might just be glad to have something to do."

Birds. Talonflame are birds. Good. You can keep away any bird.

"Uh oh," the woman says. "Your account is short. Need $100 to buy the balls, you only have seventy. Is there another account I should use?"

"Just… ten balls for now?"

"Okay. That will be fifty dollars."

Back in her room, Skysong sits down and sighs dramatically. You take the opportunity to get into her lap with no competition. She rubs your ear while she prepares to make a call. It rings three times before being answered. "Hello?"

Matriarch. The woman who threatened to send you to some place very hot if you messed up with Skysong. You have done a perfect job. She has not yet admitted she was wrong and praised you.

At least her stupid hairless eevee can't bother you.

"Hi, I have a small problem."

"If this is about Lyra—"

"It isn't."

"Good. Just, uh, call me again if she is a problem. I've been doing some digging on her family, and there's some stuff there I could use if worst comes to worst."

"I'll keep it in mind."

"Okay." Skysong pulls her fingers back. You gently grab one in your teeth to remind her that you're still there and would like to be pet. She doesn't get the hint. "I need money. Now. We're catching a lot of butterfree."

"How many are we talking here? I'm not really supposed to send payments myself and it's almost after hours. Might have to wait until tomorrow morning."

"Sixty so far. And some metapod. At five dollars a ball—"

"—lot of money down, got it. How'd you even get that many?"

"I asked one if she would like to come to a warm place. She invited friends, too."

There's a sharp inhale on the other side. "What's the cover on that? You can't just say that without drawing attention to yourself."

"Pix translated. If anyone asks."

"Maybe. I think your beldum would be more plausible."

Skysong's breath hitches. "She ran off."

"'course she did," Matriarch mumbles. "Then Pixie translating is okay, for now. Just don't answer questions about it if the media asks." You think they're saying the floating rock is better than you at something? That's very rude and unfair. You tell that to Matriarch. She just laughs. "Staying out of trouble, Pixie?"

Why would you be in trouble? That is the right question. Skysong chooses to ask a wrong one: "Why would the media…?"

"Because a kid catching sixty-something butterfree is a human interest story. And an opportunity on my end. I'm going to go ahead and send you $500 to cover the ball costs and a little extra for the PR help."

"I… okay? What about the metapod?"

"Don't know. I'll ask someone over in Pokémon Sales tomorrow. Just keep catching them for now."

"If there is an interview—"

"It won't be in the next hour. Sorry, but I have a meeting soon. Call you back later?"

"I. Sure, okay."

"Great. Talk you then."

A series of beeps tell you that she's gone.

Skysong's been staring forward ever since Matriarch stopped talking.

Her stomach roars.

She ignores it.

"Am I a bad trainer?" She finally asks.

"If you leave me."

She ignores that, too.

"Best case is that Noci ran away without telling me because she thought I wouldn't just let her leave. Or she's…" Dead. The word is dead. Humans do not like saying that word. "…and I didn't save her."

No. Eyerock isn't dead. You're never that lucky. "What even eats rocks? Seems like a dumb thing to do."

"I don't know," she admits. "Just… it's my fault."

This again. You stretch out and get comfortable. This could take a while. "You didn't kill her."

"I…" she sighs but doesn't argue. Better than you were expecting.

"I have an ancestor story for you." She doesn't answer. "Do you want to record it?"

"Later," she mumbles.

"Okay."

You begin.

Ninetales do not believe that love comes from the heart. Any fox who can hear knows that vulpix hearts start beating well before they are born. The mother does not have to give them blood after that. She does have to breathe for them, give them air. Love comes from the lungs. Sometimes children are born and the mother does not want to let go, wrapping her tether around the neck so they can never breathe on their own. They are choked with their mother's love.

You are supposed to accept death. Supposed to let go.

There's a video story that the humans watched on The Sun's Peak before the night fell. It was about a grass-type human whose heart was too small. The ninetales have no such story. Instead, they speak of Ho'oilo, a fox who had too much breath to give.

Ho'oilo delivered eight kits. One was choked by her mother's breath and seven kits remained. Ho'oilo was devastated and vowed that she would never lose another. For three long years she and her mate watched over them at every moment of every day and night. No more fell and the kits began to grow their third tail.

Others on the mountain became aware of this and began to fear she would keep them all and break the ancient laws. They went to the eldest of elders, voice of the moon, and pled their case. The eldest calmed them and descended to the territory of Ho'oilo to see the mother for herself. She approached the ninetales and her seven kits and calmed the storms around them.

"Ho'oilo," she said, "your children have begun to grow their third tail. Have you picked which two you will keep?"

"My lady, voice of the moon, I will keep all of my children."

The eldest snarled. "The mountain never grows. More ninetales means less food for all. No, you will keep two and only two."

Her mate bowed his head and lowered his tails to the ground. "Please, oh eldest one, let us keep them in our own territories. The balance need not be upset."

The eldest pondered this. "Very well," she said. "When all but two have starved everything will be resolved."

The parents did not believe her. They had protected seven kits thus far and they could continue to protect and feed their seven.

Word spread quickly of the eldest's judgment. Others began to obsess over their children's protection. Soon nearly every pair had many kits. Even older couples joined their territories once more so that they might have another litter.

The ice crabs were the first to go. Then the bats. Then the red birds. Soon almost nothing remained to eat. Some ninetales went down to the burning heat and fearsome creatures near the seas. Others began to turn on each other, first for hunting territory and then for fresh meat. The whole mountain fell into bloody war as the ninetales hunted each other. Many families found their litters dwindling to one kit or even none at all.

The eldest finally roared with the full power of the moon. All the ninetales that remained went to the peak to speak with her. Some were proud of recent victories and carried their heads high. One was still bloody from a recent kill. He dragged his tails behind him while the mother of his victim held back a vicious snarl.

"We must return to the old ways so that we all might live," the eldest proclaimed. "Only two kits for every pair." All agreed, for none can argue with the eldest of elders when they speak with the voice of the moon. "All will return to their old territories, but the lands of Ho'olio shall remain forever vacant."

Then where shall I go, my lady?" the cursed mother asked. "Where will my children live?"

The elder fanned her tails. She took no pride in what she must do, but this was hers to bare for her part in the bloody war. "Send your children forward to me."

The kits were nearly grown now. Some had seven, even eight tails. One, the most beloved child of Ho'olio, had grown her ninth but not yet ascended. The eldest stepped forth and took the smallest kit in her jaws like a loving mother reprimanding her child. She dug in her teeth and shook until the corpse stopped moving. The older ones whimpered as they each met the same fate one by one. None dared resist, for none can argue with the eldest of elders when they speak with the voice of the moon.

Ho'olio and her mate were spared the elder's wrath. Ho'olio returned to her territory with the bodies of her children and buried them under the snow. Then she leapt into the deepest crevasse in her lands, which is still known today as The Mother's Grave. Her mate took the excess vulpix of other parents with him when he left the mountain. No one knows what happened to them next.

All kits are taught the story of Ho'olio, the ninetales who almost choked the whole mountain with a mother's love.

"And you believe that?"

"It's true."

"Humans don't work like that. We can have—"

"You should stop caring about rocks and sisters and—"

"—anyone that isn't you?"

"Yes."

She hisses. "Pixie, I like you. Not enough to give up on everyone else. Just—"

"It's a dumb rock. Ugly. Keeps spying on you."

"You didn't hurt her, did you? Or run her off?"

"Maybe I did." You're very pretty. And strong. You might have scared her away.

Her paw wraps around your pokéball before you can tell her off. You disappear with a scream in your mouth—

-and reappear screaming.

Bloodrage coughs beside you. "This why I'm watching you tonight?"

Coward. Skysong won't even show up to hear why she's wrong. Too scared of your facts and logic.

"You can sleep on my bed if you want. Or not. Do whatever."

She's abandoned you. Just like you knew she would.

Typical.

Expected.

You were 100% right. As always.

You move across the room and find your way onto an empty bed. Getting close to humans isn't worth the body heat.