A/n

Well that was embarrassing. I accidentally uploaded chapter 36 instead of this one. Anyway announcement at the end of this chapter.

Well… the last few hours were a blur, so I'll try my best to bring y'all up to speed. I met 3 dudes that definitely hung around Arnold Schwarzenegger. One guy who also keeps mistaking me for this Ragna guy. And having to deal with Rachel. I won't say it was unpleasant. But she is a right royal pain in the ass. You want to know how she thanked me for getting her untraped?

"I suppose a 'thank you' would be an order, even if it took you too long to do so." Granted I dealt with Karens screaming at my face before so someone being condescending to me is really nothing new. After that, I was teleported into a void for thirty minutes before I ended up in some sort of living room.

I then yelled "I have been falling… FOR THIRTY MINUTES!" I then got up and looked around to see three girls, two with robotic parts and a straight up robot with boobs and four arms. Whoever designed her was seriously horny.

System then chimed in "Thank you so much for helping us in this challenge today. Let's give it up for Achilles Vermilion! Or at least, that's what he calls himself."

"I DID NOT VOLUNTEER FOR THIS!" I yelled. To fall on deaf ears, she continued on as if I didn't just yell at her

"This young man has been shot down many times because all the girls ever saw him as a friend, he did have a fiance but according to what I am reading, he was stabbed through the heart metaphorically and physically." System said. Which was extremely untrue.

I was rejected three times in middle school. Not to mention she's been reading through my shit.

"WILL YOU STOP READING THROUGH MY SHIT!" I yelled once more.

"That all changes today, our lovely contestants will woo this young man and grab his heart. Oh can you just feel the excitement?!" System continued.

I waited a moment before asking "Ya done now?"

"Yes I am, Now then. Our first challenge is hospitality. Since he came all this way he must be parched." System said. "So without further ado, let's get this started!"

The first girl with the New Jersey accent then said "Bring it on! I've got grip power for days!"

I put both hands over my chest in an effort to try to protect it "Please don't say things like that. I'm a very skittish guy…" I said quietly. The girl with the Jersey accent got to work on a drink first. I couldn't understand what she was mumbling. And after she finished, she then walked up to me and said. "Okay, Vermilion-kun, it's ready!" She handed me a drink that was all pink and kinda cute looking.

Please never do that again. "Alright… Presentation is nice. And now for the taste." I took a sip. And suddenly my mouth felt like it was ablaze. I spat it back out and hacked like crazy.

"Hey why'd you spit it out?!" The Jersey girl said.

After coughing up what might as well have been poison. "What the hell is in this?! You trying to kill me?!" I yelled.

She seemed genuinely confused "I followed the recipe to the letter. I was sure it'd work."

Now I need to see it. "Give it to me! I need to know what you tried to put in my stomach!"

She handed a piece of paper to me and that's when it hit me. Two ingredients stood out to me. Ketchup and condensed milk. Somewhere my mother is cringing at the idea. "And this is the problem. You put ketchup and condensed milk together. They should never go together! IN ANYTHING! THIS IS COOKING 101! IF GORDON RAMSAY WERE HERE HE'D CUSS YOU OUT TOO!"

"Stopped your heart though didn't it?" She asked.

"Yeah… like how cyanide will stop the heart of any grown man. 0 points!" I yelled.

"Aww… too bad. Aegis you're up next." System then said.

Aegis nodded and walked over to the counter. "And don't just focus on looks!" I yelled. Seriously, to whatever god I pissed off to deserve this treatment. I will apologize when I get to the afterlife.

Aegis nodded and assured me "Your drink is in capable hands." Which did nothing for my nerves at all. She took a few minutes before approaching me with a smile "It is finished!" She announced confidently.

That does not spark confidence in me. "That uh… took quite a while. So what is the drink you'll be showing me?" I asked.

She then held up her drink. "Impactful." She stated. It looked more like oil if anything. Judging from the rainbows I see from here on the couch. Glad I'm sitting, my legs are shaking. It may be from my nervous leg syndrome or the fact I think I'm facing certain death.

"Am I supposed to drink that?" I asked. "It looks like it could kill me."

"Correct." Aegis answered. "I would not recommend drinking it. This beverage has a trick to it"

She then grabbed… LIGHTER FLUID?! "I just need to add this other liquid. And… Oh Vermilion-san. You should stand back."

"No need to tell me twice!" I said as I ran a good 6 feet away. Mostly because the room is only so big.

"And here we go." Aegis said calmly. As she poured the lighter fluid into it. I protested

"Hold on wait a moment! Something ain't right!" And suddenly the room went white. I had covered my eyes to make sure I didn't lose them or my glasses. It's hard to find any prescription glasses in Vale. Once the light died down I spoke up. "If your goal was to kill me. It would have succeeded if I didn't have my aura." I told Aegis as I dusted the glass shards off my jacket.

"But was it impactful?" Aegis asked.

I gave a deadpan to her and said "As impactful as Fat Boy on Hiroshima on August 9th 1945. 0 points."

"How unfortunate. Then my plan was a failure." Aegis said somberly.

Then it was the robot with four arms. She went to get a simple cup and plate and handed it to me. I was hesitant at first. Since the last two drinks threatened to take my life. So I took a sip and… It was normal tea. Surprising. "Ok this is nice after those two." I commented "Just normal tea. Though it normally isn't my thing. It's nice. I'll give you a point… Um… What's your name?"

System then chimed in "Minerva gets one point! And with that it's on to round two!"

"Wait wait wait! There's more?!" I yelled.

System ignored me and issued the rules to the robot girls that threatened to take my life in one way or another. The Jersey girl and Aegis mumbled amongst themselves. And then looked at me. "What's that look for-" before I knew it, I had four machine guns in my face and a huge fuck-off axe pointed at me. And I handled it like any other gentleman would. I reached for my weapons which apparently were disarmed from me in that 30 minute fall. "Um… Aegis? What is that guy reaching for?" Jersey girl asked.

"Not sure. He may be trying to grab a weapon to defend himself with Labrys." Aegis answered.

"THE HELL ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!" I yelled "You two pointed big fucking weapons at my goddamn face! Oh god I think I'm having a stroke…" I then sat back down and held my head. I then felt a gentle touch. I looked up to see the robot with four arms head patting me with her more human looking hand.

"Minerva what are you doing putting your hand on Vermilion-kun's head like that?" The one apparently named Labrys asked.

She said… nothing, great another Neo. Wonderful… But this is nice. "Thanks I suppose, compared to those two who thought pointing a gun and an axe at my face was the appropriate response." There was a conversation with System but I zoned out until she said

"Oh sure, we can go for more. I've got plenty left in store."

And like that, I was a guinea pig for two robot women who were learning how to be gentle and a robot that actually was gentle. And after what felt like ages; System finally called it "Please… Help me…" I managed to get out before I passed out. And after that they received their stamps and I stood up with the help of Minerva. "So… does this mean I'm free to leave?"

"Hm? Oh yeah. We don't need you anymore." System said as if she finally acknowledged my presence. A trap door opened underneath me. I held up a sigh that read 'I'm in hell aren't I?' before imitating the Goofy yell.

After I landed, I managed to find Aaron again despite the System trying to separate us again. And we were discussing him having to judge pudding and eating one that 'put him in a comatose state for two hours. While also discussing what to do next when we heard something that made our hairs stand on end

"Dr. Pepper."

We both turned slowly to find a man wearing red gambeson, black gloves, and a chainmail hood. His eyes… I don't think he has any to be honest. But that's besides the point, Aaron and I looked at each other and were honestly worried for our own safety. Aaron always characterized him as an agent of Chaos even more so than Florida men. But then he got an idea

"I speak his language! Allow me." There was a lot of back and forth with both of them repeating Dr. Pepper.

System then asked me "Does he actually know this thing's language or is he just messing with us?"

I sighed with my arms crossed "Knowing him, a little of both." Before long I was joined by another crimson cladded fellow. And someone I created in Mordhau Coca-Cola man. So there's a chance that the characters I made are here… It should be no problem knowing me and PvP based games.

"Oh, I see your friend is conversing with the infamous Dr Pepper." He said to me. "Yeah, hopefully trying to talk him down from his chaotic ways." I commented with a shrug.

Coca-Cola man laughed "good luck with that. He only knows chaos."

System then cut in "Speaking of Chaos… We have a challenge for our soda mascots and you two as well!"

I sighed and facepalmed "... Not this shit again" I mumbled.

System giggled "Oh don't be a debbie downer. You had the time of your life with those lovely ladies."

"They were anything but! IF I DIDN'T HAVE MY AURA I WOULD BE DEAD!" I retorted.

Aaron snickered off to my left. I slowly turned my head to him with a deadpan expression "Be quite you."

System continued to tell the rules "For this challenge, it's… a scavenger hunt!"

All of us looked up at the sky. "... A scavenger hunt… Really?" I asked.

Coca-Cola man nodded at me agreeingly. "Yes, I agree with the peasant here. This seems rather…"

"Dr. Pepper?" Dr. Pepper asked.

"Exactly! that." Coca-Cola man exclaimed. Though I'm pretty sure that he doesn't know what he said, or agreed to. But he insulted me too.

I placed my fingers on my chest "Excuse me, did you just call me a peasant?" I asked.

Coca-Cola man raised an eyebrow "Oh, my apologies. I figured with the way you look you would not be intelligent enough to know what 'peasant' meant."

I balled my fist while Aaron went "ooh… That's gotta burn."

Before I could retort, System chimed in "Now, now, we don't fight your teammates. Now as for the item you're looking for… drumroll please… It's a plushie of a rabbit! Isn't it exciting?!"

All of us just stared at each other in silence.

System eventually got annoyed and said "Alright so it's not exciting. But the first one to finish will get a stamp! Plus if you don't start moving I will unrestraint Dr. Pepper here to wreak havoc."

That's when I noticed it. The only thing keeping him in place was a chained collar that was bolted to the ground. All of us were wise to make a break for it.

Once we were in trees. I asked "So any hints as to the location or are we going out on a whim here?"

"Well… You're nearby one of the hints." System said probably to me only. I then looked in front of me to see a piece of paper. "How very… slenderman of you." I said as I grabbed it off a tree. It was a picture of a rock. I think I saw it on the way here. I retraced my steps and found the rock.

I then grabbed the piece of paper from it. "Turn around and look up." I read out loud. I turned around and up to see another piece of paper stuck to a tree. So I climbed it, just in time to hear "Dr. Pepper." Which I know means he's nearby now. I stayed absolutely still, I hope he doesn't see me.

He walked under me and continued to where I last saw the others. This feels like a horror game now, much like playing Alien Isolation. Now then, This should be the last clue… Son of a bitch. It's on the back of Dr. Pepper. And now I have to sneak up on him. I'll wait in this tree on one of the lower branches and try to sneak up on him. This could take a while

[2 hours later]

Oh he finally showed up, good I was getting bored. He walked under me in the opposite direction. I gently touched the ground and snuck up on him. He had a plushie strapped to his back. Surprised I didn't notice it sooner. Anyway I managed to get close and snatched it off him.

That's when his head did a 180 like an owl and looked directly at me. Adding that to the most terrifying sights I've seen list. I ran like hell out of there while hearing "DR. PEPPER!" chasing me. I managed to get to the end of the field where I heard a loud and audible shock.

I looked back to see that Dr. Pepper was electrocuted and tried to get over the invisible fence but couldn't. So he gave up and chased the others… I feel sorry for whoever has to deal with him next.

"Good Job there Achilles!" System yelled, jumpscaring me. "Sheesh you are one nervous guy. Anyway, you got your plushie, and another stamp to add to your collection. You may proceed.

I groaned and placed the damned stuffed animal on the table and walked through the gate. So far I have about 3. Why don't I have 5 yet? You may ask. Well it's because most of those combat encounters, as it put it, 'not a part of the challenges and therefore void'. Makes me wish it manifested itself like Echo from Overwatch (Yes I somewhat keep up with it despite never playing it again) so I can punch it across its stupid face. Otherwise I'll have to deal with this bullshit until I can collect two more.

Wait… Is that Hellboy? He groaned in front of me. "What's the matter Hellboy?" I asked.

The red guy with robotic arms looked at me funny "Who me? I don't know if what you just said is an insult… but my name is Tager. What about you crimson warrior?"

Well… That's a new title. Wait, I think I'm out of order, shouldn't the main character have already been through here? Eh… I don't really care anyway. I just want this over with. "Oh I'm…" Crap, should I give him my real name or my Remnant name? Eh just to be safe "Achilles Vermilion. Pleasure to meet you Tager."

He nodded "So I take it you're a contestant in the stamp collecting rally?" He asked.

I nodded back "that's right. Though I don't know why, I think I passed out so hard in my world that I'm dreaming or some shit… This has happened to me before though so maybe not?"

Tager looked at me with a confused expression on his face "Well anyway… I'm supposed to tell you that I'm the gatekeeper of this trial. However the trial is broken so I'll have to ask you to turn another way. I don't want to end up in another combat situation."

Wait… I can probably help him and get a free stamp! God I'm pathetic… "Wait so what happened anyway? Did a generator break or something?"

Tager nodded "You could say that. The test I was supposed to give you was a resistance test. The contestant is supposed to be able to withstand extreme cold, heat and general unpleasantness the environment has to offer."

I sighed "Listen, buddy, unless one of those tests is having someone named Karen scream at my face about having to wear a mask, I'm not your guy."

"Adding that one to the list." System said out of the blue.

"Fuck off you spooky bitch!" I yelled at the sky.

Tager tilted his head "I'm sorry, I do not follow what you are saying. But as I was explaining: As a cyborg, I'm uniquely suited to administer the test… However, it's been damaged. Without that, there's no test to carry out."

I looked over at the machine. Given the extent of the damage… "It looks sort of like sabotage." I noted.

Tager, now on my left, agreed "Yeah, that was the conclusion I came to. Question is… Who did it?"

Then out of nowhere, the wall behind me exploded like the Kool-aid man just appeared. With a voice that shouted "IT WAS MEEEE!"

I panicked a little and yelled back "NOT THIS GUY AGAIN!" That's the guy I mentioned earlier. Standing about the same height as me with blue long hair and wearing a jacket around his neck. Also shredded as hell with plenty of scars.

I then heard another voice yell "RUN AWAAAAY!" Oh it's… Generic anime protagonist? Seriously who is this guy?

(Hello, System here. In case he didn't make it clear, The two people he's referring to are Azreal and Naoto.)

(It's me here now. And listen here you little bitch, you do NOT get to write in MY story! How'd you make it so I can't delete that line anyway? The readers are smarter than you think.)

"Oh no you don't!" System butted in as it made an invisible wall caving both me and this generic looking anime protagonist in with this freak that refuses to stay down. "Where'd this wall come from?" he yelled.

"Phew, almost got away again. Not while this here sheriff's in town!" System said all too cheerfully.

He then got up from his ass and yelled "What are you doing?! Can't you see I'm running for my life?!"

I crossed my arms "Welcome to my world. Population increased to two." I mumbled.

"Nah, NO RUNNING!" System retorted.

Anime boy, looking rather fed up, yelled back "Since when?! You never said that!"

She then spouted some legal nonsense that I didn't hear before. But since I worked at a grocery store this was absolutely no bother to me. "I give up! If the only way to stop that lunkhead macho man from breaking everything is to let him try to snack on Naoto, then so be it!"

I looked back at the boy who groaned after that nonsense "I uh… think you said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud." The guy apparently named Naoto said to the sky.

System then cleared its throat "Anyway, if you want that stamp, you'll have to fight for it. Got it? That goes for you too Achilles~" It said just casually roping me into this argument.

"Hey don't rope me into your husband/wife shtick." I said being rather annoyed that this guy has been following not only me but this Naoto guy too.

"We're not- Ugh… You promise you'll give me that stamp?" He asked.

"Yeah sure, as long as you can get macho man to settle down." Naoto then looked at me. "Well I guess you're my partner then. Just don't slow me down."

I smirked at him "buddy, if anything, I should be saying that to you."

System then said "And you know what? I'll raise the stakes! Get that done and you'll get Double the stamps."

I think I freaked Naoto out with my grin as I shouted "NOW I'M MOTIVATED!"

He kind of just stood there dumbfounded. And soon the fight began. Two vs one, Well, I should say two and a half vs one. Since I don't have a semblance.

(Hey it's me again. System or whoever you are, will you quit that!)

(System: Aw… but it's fun :P)

(Literally only a few people use those types of emojis)

(System: Yourself included Mr. 21-year-old-in-Remnant?)

(… no comment.)

"CAN'T ESCAPE FROM CROSSING FATE!" Well the fight started off with him making a few jabs at the blue hair dude's abdomen. Followed by a kick to his face. But he just grabbed his foot and threw him at me. I ducked underneath Naoto and proceeded to slash at him. Which I managed to get a decent scar on him.

"Not bad fake Reaper number 2…" He said mostly to me.

And with that I flipped my blade into the mordhau grip "Oh? I'm just getting started. It's time I let my frustrations out on someone anyway." I then hit him in the kneecap with the guard. Naoto then jumped over me and clocked him on the head. We both backed up to take a look at our opponent. He was… Chuckling to himself?

He then snapped his head and looked at us with a psycho grin on his face. "Good! GOOD! I LOVE THE FEELING OF PAIN!"

I sighed "Is this guy a masochist?" I asked.

Naoto shrugged "I don't know. He's been chasing me for a while."

"Less talking, more violence!" Yelled the guy as I noticed he was now above us with both of his fists raised and was about to ground pound us like we were goombas.

So we both dodged out of the way. I struck my blade with my gauntlet and slashed a wall of fire at that guy, Azreal I think? Well doesn't matter. Because I set him on fire while my partner sent him flying. "Did we get him?" I asked. I then heard him roar.

"Nope." Replied Naoto. We both dodged a rock being thrown at us. He then looked at me with a nod. Wait is he planning something. I think I get it though… I struck my sword once more and slashed, this time overhead. Azreal dodged it as expected and Naoto used… Blood? Is that Blood? In a scythe form? What am I witnessing?

Anyway. So Azreal stood up holding his head and I clocked him over the head with a mordhau strike. Which seems to have made him pass out. For now at least. "Did… we win?"

System then chimed in "yeah, sure here are your stamps."

And like that, there are now five. "So now we head for the exit?" I asked.

Naoto shrugged "yeah. I suppose so. Onward?"

I then ran ahead of him. Hopefully System doesn't do anything to me.

… And I just jinxed it didn't I?

…

Shit… Welp now I just gotta keep an eye out then.

Author's Note

So… After looking back and reading through the previous chapters, I realised that I've been robbing you guys of a decent story in exchange for weekly uploads. And I feel so horrible for doing so, especially for the fact this story is almost at 60 followers. So as of this week onwards, I will not be updating weekly anymore. I've been going back and editing as much as I could to make sure it's better than it was. Hell even R26 helped me see it. I guess I was looking at this like my own child for so long I've been ignoring the problems it had. I think Randy Feltface said it best: "I won't know it's shit until it's out there." Those of you that followed me up to this point. Thank you for reading, I appreciate the support of you guys.

Reviewer Session:

WPUrchezem23: And thanks to you as well for opening up my eyes. If you do read this far, I appreciate the criticism.