I own nothing.
Day 282
Vancouver, British Columbia
"No!"
But she was alone in Sarah's bedroom.
Jane tore the bedcovers off, barely making it to the bathroom before emptying the contents of her stomach.
oooOOOooo
Day 282
Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary
I remember.
oooOOOooo
Day 282
Asgard
"I've brought you that strong tea you like."
"Thank you, your Majesty."
Frigga stood quietly for a moment, watching Heimdall drink the tea. As often as she'd been disturbing his solitary vigil these days, she felt she needed to bring gifts with her. Odin would inform her straight away if anything happened. At least he told her that he would. But her mother's heart wouldn't allow her to stay away. She needed to know if Heimdall had any word on either of her boys.
After a polite length of time had elapsed, she cleared her throat. "Have you any news, Heimdall?"
The Gatekeeper shook his massive bronze head. "No, my lady." He gestured to the raven perched just inside the Bifrost chamber. "I swear I will send word the instant—" He blinked, handed her his tea cup, and strode closer to the broken edge of the bridge.
Frigga held her tongue. The raven cocked its head. Heimdall turned and called, "Away to Odin! I saw Loki!" The giant black bird swooped off on its mission. Frigga flew to Heimdall's side.
"What did you see?" she asked.
He shook his head. "I'm not certain. A disturbance of some sort, a great discharge of energy. I saw Loki. For a few seconds. And Jane. Then Jane was gone. And Loki shrouded himself once again."
"Where are they?"
"That's the stranger part. They weren't anywhere in the Nine Realms."
"Can you see Jane now?"
"No."
oooOOOooo
Day 282
Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary
I remember everything.
oooOOOooo
Day 282
Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility
The young man in the crisp uniform knocked on door R158. A moment later, the door swung open and Thor's shaggy blond head appeared.
"Yes?"
"Sir, sorry to wake you, sir, but Agent Malone said there's something you need to see."
"It's no problem, my good man. I never sleep these days anyway."
oooOOOooo
Day 282
Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary
I remember everything.
It hurts.
Like waking from a dead sleep to stare into the face of the sun.
oooOOOooo
Day 283
Vancouver, British Columbia
Her tea had grown cold. Again. Jane pushed the mug away. She ought to eat, for Alie's sake, but the thought of food was nauseating.
For the hundredth time, Jane replayed the scene in the dungeon. Loki, his face bloodless, impaled by a spear. That thing grabbing her by the throat, choking her, taunting Loki. She was going to die. Then. Falling to the ground. Loki was there, cradling her, somehow free, muttering something she couldn't understand. Awakening, screaming, in her bed.
What did it all mean? Did the kiss (what would have happened if Loki hadn't disappeared?) have something to do with what happened? Was she supposed to sense somehow if Loki was dead? What had Thor told her about rune bonds? Jane wracked her brain trying to remember.
Ugh. I don't know anything. All this stupid information in my brain and I don't know anything that matters!
A faint blush tinged the sky, framed by the window over her kitchen sink. The night was officially over.
Loki's dead. I'm alone.
oooOOOooo
Day 283
Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary
He should be dead.
Guards making the first rounds in the morning discovered him sitting on the floor of the cell next to the reeking carcass. They charged into the small room, weapons raised. He lifted his head to watch them kill him. Upon making eye contact with him, though, the guards immediately stopped, glanced at each other, and fled.
The Other arrived shortly thereafter. He surveyed the carnage, then said, "The Master would like to see you."
I remember everything.
It hurts.
Like waking from a dead sleep to stare into the face of the sun.
He should be on the other side of Yggdrasil.
He was whole. He had broken Thanos' spell. Myriad pathways whispered to him. He could easily twist any one of them open and disappear.
Instead he was shuffling towards the Mad Titan and likely death.
Because Jane.
The Torturer had known about Jane. Which meant Thanos knew about Jane. If Loki fled, she would pay. And that was something he could not allow.
My head is splitting.
It was true.
I remember everything.
Every last one of the absolutely insane claims Jane had made was true.
It hurts.
A rune brand had appeared on his wrist, the companion to hers. It was beautiful.
Like waking from a dead sleep to stare into the face of the sun.
It was a blatant announcement of his weakness. He had cast an illusion to hide it.
What have I done? Oh, Jane, what have we done?
oooOOOooo
Day 283
Mojave Desert: Joint Dark Energy Mission Facility
"You should get some sleep, Thor." Dr. Selvig stacked some papers and picked up a pen.
The Asgardian scoffed. "I'm made of stronger stuff than you humans."
"'Course y'are,'' Erik agreed, his accent made thicker by his own lack of sleep. "But old legends aside, y're not indestructible. Y'haven't sleep at all in days."
Thor sank into a chair and crossed his arms. "Loki is my brother. I feel responsible for what he might try to do. I need to be here to help. I'm the only one who has a chance of fighting him hand-to-hand."
The gray-haired scientist nodded. "We appreciate that. Really. But the readings from the Tesseract have leveled back out. Y'should get some rest. You'll be of more use hale and hearty."
Thor stayed put. "I'll sleep tonight."
Erik shrugged. "Suit y'rself." He picked up one stack of papers and turned to leave, then turned back. "This won't bring Jane back, y'know."
Oh, Erik Selvig. You might be surprised.
oooOOOooo
Day 283
Vancouver, British Columbia
Her watch read 4:36 p.m. Too soon for nighttime dreams. She blinked. Her tired eyes watered.
For the hundredth time, Jane paced the kitchen floor. Fear sat like a boulder in her gut, dragging her heart down with it.
If he was okay, he would have returned, if only to ream her out for showing up at the dungeon again. Then again, she'd been awake since the middle of last night. How could he have made contact?
He freed himself, didn't he? He might be strong enough to fight that horrifying person...creature...thing.
But what if he wasn't strong enough? What if she really were alone?
What will I do?
oooOOOooo
Day 283
Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary
Loki stood before Thanos, head bowed, awaiting his sentence.
How am I to die?
"Well done, Odinson."
What trickery is this?
"My lord?"
"I had begun to think you'd completely lost your nerve."
Loki slowly lifted his head. The Mad Titan crooked a finger at him, beckoning him to come closer.
"I knew you'd be ready to take your place soon."
"Master, forgive me, I'm afraid I don't understand."
"You discovered the muting spell we'd cast on your power. You threw off the yoke of the Torturer. I admire such initiative."
This was...unexpected. Rather than being mauled to death by the Chitauri dogs, he was being congratulated. But it was difficult to celebrate, difficult to respond, when his soul was fractured.
"Thank you."
What have I done?
Memories unfurled, multiplying, pressing against the edges of his mind, threatening to unhinge him.
...vanilla...whiskey...
The Other floated past Loki. "I told Master you didn't have the strength to break the spell."
Control yourself. Don't let them sense her. Don't let the illusion slip.
"But you did, didn't you? It took a while and it took the prospect of losing your pet mortals, but you did it at last."
...Algiz...Sowilo...
"And as for that Torturer..." The Other hissed.
...Hagalaz...Thurisaz...Uruz...
Loki braced himself. He couldn't deny what he'd done. He hadn't bothered to clean himself up. His tunic was stained with the Torturer's blood and smeared with bits of dried tissue. He smelled of slaughter, of innards and terror and death. Shreds of the creature's flesh were still under his nails. It had not been a clean kill. It had been fueled by rage and the desire to inflict as much pain as possible.
No, he couldn't deny he'd killed the Torturer. Nor could he deny the roaring satisfaction it had given him to rip the damned thing to pieces with his bare hands.
"...we'd begun to tire of him," the Mad Titan finished. "I wondered at first if you were the right one for the task. You succumbed to the torture so easily. What kept you from fighting?"
The Other faced Loki. "I think it was that mortal. Jane Foster."
...we are a very unlikely pair...however improbable it may be, you and I are bonded...
"Nonsense," Loki managed to scoff. "Jane Foster? Ridiculous."
"You didn't kill the Torturer for yourself, did you? Her presence galvanized you."
...that mark cannot be authentic...
But the mark was authentic. As was the one on his right wrist. He'd puzzled for a few moments over the meaning of Jane's rune, then smiled when he'd recognized three of Midgard's astrological symbols. Fitting for a woman obsessed by the stars. One of them was likely her birth symbol, but he couldn't be sure. He didn't know the month of her birth. It was appropriately bizarre in keeping with this whole situation, wasn't it, that he was bonded to a woman about whom he knew very little?
"Loki? Are we boring you?" Thanos sounded calm. Dangerously calm.
"No, of course not." Loki smiled, resolutely pushing thoughts of the rune mark aside. "Forgive me. I'm not quite...myself...yet." He gestured to his filthy clothing and matted hair. "That theory is nonsense. If Jane could motivate me to kill, as you've said, why would I have chosen not to fight torture because of her? I think you'll find that Jane Foster was no part of my motivation at all. She's merely a mortal."
They needed to stop talking about Jane.
"What of this mortal, Loki?"
He drew a deep breath. ...he was a fool to have allowed himself to fall in love with this woman... "As I've reported previously, Dr. Jane Foster is a human scientist with a wealth of knowledge about the Tesseract and what they term 'Einstein-Rosen bridges.' I call them pathways through the Realms. Thor, my adopted brother, was cast to Midgard and spent some time in her presence. She has close ties with the scientists who are currently studying the Tesseract. Jane is a valuable resource to monitor the humans' work on the artifact."
"You enjoy spending time with her."
Too much denial and they will know. "Well, yes. I mean no disrespect to you, my lord, but Jane Foster is a bit easier on the eyes than most of the inhabitants of the Sanctuary." He chuckled, hoping it sounded more natural than it felt. "My stay here has not been terribly comfortable and I sought...oh, a diversion, let's say, in my dreams. A distraction."
"Your powers were masked. How were you able to find this mortal in your dreams?"
"Ah." Careful. "I've been puzzled by that as well, Master. I had entered into Jane's dreams while I was on Midgard. Those dreams aided me greatly in understanding the workings of the Tesseract. I now believe that since my powers were, as you said, masked, muted, not truly removed, I was able to follow those dream pathways."
"Hmm." Thanos cocked his head. "Jane Foster carries a child, does she not? Who is the father?"
...he couldn't be of your species...that child has abilities no human has...she spoke with me when I had my hands on you...who have you been intimate with?
Loki spread his arms wide, a gesture of innocence. "She has not provided me with a satisfactory answer."
...you are Alie's father...you did some sort of ritual, then we consummated the bond...how could it have meant so little to you?
...you are a liar...I would never debase myself by breeding with a lower species...
The Other sniffed. "It was likely Thor. He seems the sort to mix with those creatures."
Loki trembled from the effort of restraining himself. One murder was apparently permissible. Two might be straining the limits of Thanos' hospitality. He needed to get away from them, get alone. He needed to think.
What have I done?
He smiled, or he hoped he did. He bared his teeth, at least. "Perhaps. I wouldn't put it past my erstwhile brother. My lord, if you please, may I take my leave of you? I would welcome the chance to make myself presentable."
Thanos lifted a finger in permission. "Go ahead. We'll continue this conversation later."
oooOOOooo
Day 283
Asgard
"Ah, Lady Sif, do come in."
"My lady."
"Won't you have a cup of tea?"
"Ah, I thank you, but I'm in the middle of a training session."
"Of course."
"You sent for me, your Majesty?"
"Yes. I understand you are on alert to be sent to Midgard at a moment's notice."
"Yes, my lady."
"To take care of Loki and Jane Foster."
"...yes."
"Sit down, please, Sif."
"My lady, I—"
"Sit down."
oooOOOooo
Day 283
Vancouver, British Columbia
Alie rolled from side to side. Jane grimaced and patted her belly. "Okay, baby girl. I'm not alone, am I? I've got you. I don't feel any worse than I did yesterday. That has to be good, right? I should try to sleep. Maybe he'll show up like nothing happened."
oooOOOooo
Day 283
Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary
Standing on Jotunheim, staring as his skin turned blue, he'd felt the first tremors of the cataclysm that would fracture everything he believed to be true.
He hated Odin for lying to him, for making a fool out of him.
Standing now in the private chambers he'd been given, Loki stared at Jane's brand on his wrist. Once again his construct of reality lay shattered around him.
He had no one else to blame. He had cast the forgetting spell; he had lied to himself.
Jane had been telling the truth all along.
She belonged to him. He'd only just allowed himself to confess that he wished it were true. Not even in his wildest dreams had he believed it could be. Joy, sharp and sweet, sliced up through his heart. He shut his eyes against the pleasure-pain.
He remembered now. He'd planned to kill her, then realized he needed her. He'd wanted to intimidate her, to force her into doing what he wanted. Then he'd decided to take his revenge by seducing her instead.
But instead, she'd slowly, accidentally, seduced him.
Thor said we would probably discover we were soulmates.
Jane was fascinating. So fragile, yet so strong. So young, yet so wise. She took whatever knowledge he had to give and devoured it, reshaped it, matched him idea for idea, pushed him, challenged him. He couldn't bear to let her go. Where in the nine Realms and beyond would he ever find another like her?
So he'd decided never to let her go. To bind her to himself for all eternity. You will be mine, and mine alone. Do you understand me? Forever.
He stroked the brand on his wrist, absorbing the honeyed sensations. By some cosmic miscalculation, Jane had chosen him.
Jane was his: body, soul, mind, heart.
And the child was his. A girl. He thought he had erased all evidence of the consummation of their bond. He'd been mistaken. What mercy. He was a father. He had a daughter. A woman-child who already showed evidence of strong powers. ...you're like me...
His heart pounded...joy, pride, hope...fear.
Fear.
What have I done?
Jane was the only woman—the only person—he could imagine tolerating for a lifetime. She enchanted him, challenged him, engaged him, (enraged him). She intrigued him, frustrated him, tempted him, and contented him.
That was all true. It didn't change the fact that bonding himself to her was the worst mistake of his entire long life.
I've recklessly, irrevocably fused myself to a mortal. Because of me, Jane is squarely in Thanos' sights. And I've made sure he knows that Jane knows all about the Tesseract. Because of me, Jane carries a baby whose delivery will almost certainly kill her. Because of me, that child will be hunted by those who can sense her dawning powers.
I've foolishly become beholden to a madman. How he must have laughed as I snuck around, my secrets on full view to him. He's toyed with me, letting me build an attachment to Jane.
I've foolishly baited Asgard. I've foolishly left myself with no allies save a woman who, formidable though she is, is pregnant and mortal.
I have no choice.
oooOOOooo
Day 284
Vancouver, British Columbia
It had stopped raining. It wasn't freezing. She wasn't dead yet.
That's it. Jane could think of nothing else good about the day.
Her back ached. Stretch marks suddenly streaked her sides. Her ankles looked like sausages. Everything she ate or drank, even water, made molten lava creep up her throat.
Sleeping had not gone well. She couldn't find a comfortable position. The bed was too warm. Her dreams were restless, filled with running around labyrinths, searching in vain for someone. In her dreams she didn't know who she was looking for, but of course she was looking for him.
He hadn't shown up last night.
Had that—that idiot—really gotten himself killed?
It's your fault, Jane. He told you not to return to the dungeon.
He was already impaled on that spear when I arrived. Things were definitely not looking good for him even before I got there.
Ugh.
Should she tell someone what had happened? Did someone need to know? If Loki was dead, did that mean Thanos would invade sooner? Who should she tell?
Who could she tell?
I have no one to tell. Everyone I know on this planet thinks I'm dead.
But you aren't really dead. You could call Erik. Or email Darcy.
I really miss Erik. And I miss Darcy. But I can't call them. I just can't deal with the fallout.
So your whole planet isn't worth navigating a complicated situation?
Jane shook her head. I have a PhD in Astrophysics. I've read countless textbooks and scholarly articles. I've taught graduate-level classes in Extragalactic Astronomy. Yet nothing, at any point in my life, has prepared me for any of this.
What if...?
"No, that's crazy. I'm not—" Who else can you talk to? Who else might be able to actually do something?
Jane sighed and rubbed her pregnant belly. "Hey, sweet girl, I don't know if you can do this or not, but I'd like to get a message to, uh, Uncle Heimdall. Is there anything you can do to help make that happen?"
It was worth a try, right?
Standing in the middle of her living room, Jane cleared her throat and stared up at the ceiling.
"Heimdall? Um, this is Jane Foster. Thor's...ah, Loki's...never mind. I hope you can hear me, otherwise I'm talking to the plaster on the ceiling." Jane laughed nervously. "I'm sorry for bothering you like this, but I have some news about Loki. I thought maybe you'd want to know."
She took a deep breath. "Uh, so Loki and I have been meeting. In our dreams. That sounds super weird, but it's...it's fine. It works for us, you know? You probably are wondering why I haven't tried to contact you sooner. It's really complicated, actually. He's not been doing anything, um, awful. I don't think. We've just been kind of helping each other survive for a couple of months. Loki's not so bad when you get to know him."
I feel like a giant idiot.
If Heimdall could hear her, he could hear her whether she was standing or sitting. So she might as well be comfortable. She settled into the armchair. "A night or so ago I sensed that he was in trouble. I found him in his dream, in this place he calls The Sanctuary. It's where...Thanos?...Do you know him? It's where he lives. When I got there, Loki was pinned to a column with a spear through his shoulder, like some kind of lab sample. It was supposed to be a dream, but it seemed weirdly real. This gross creature grabbed me." She shuddered at the memory. "Loki somehow freed himself and sent me out of the dream. I don't know what happened after that. He didn't show up in my dreams last night."
Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes. She didn't cry easily, but this was a lot to process. "Um, I'm afraid Loki might be dead. I know he isn't everyone's favorite. Maybe no one up there cares if he lives or dies. But you should know that Thanos is planning to invade Earth. Loki was supposed to help him, but he and I have been trying to figure out a way to stop Thanos instead. Thanos was having Loki tortured, right, so they aren't exactly best buds. And this...incident...might have a negative effect on their relationship. Which might affect my planet. And...ugh, I've just rambled on, haven't I?"
Jane jammed her hands in her hair, leaving it sticking up. "I wish this was like voicemail where you could just delete the message and start over. Sorry, Heimdall, I'm a bit stressed right now. I don't know if you care about any of that or what good any of that information is to you. But I just felt like I should tell someone. So, uh, bye."
She sat in the armchair for a long while until Alie kicked. "Hey, there. Do you think it did any good?"
oooOOOooo
Day 284
Chitauri Space: The Sanctuary
"Odinson. Tell me, are you ready to take your place at my side?"
"I am, Master. More than ready."