The thin hospital sheet might as well weigh a hundred pounds from how heavy it felt on him. No matter how much he blinked, the world around him appeared as a blur, a smudged window that he could barely make out the people behind it.

TJ recognized his mothers crying, though. As soon as he moved an inch, he felt his mom hug him and heard her call for the doctor. A light shined in his eyes and a blurry shape he could only assume was the doctor talked to him and his parents. To him, the talking was muffled, and wasn't able to make out any off it, but he didn't have the energy to care.

How did he mess up on this? The one thing he wanted to do, he failed. As soon as that mixture of cough syrup, sleep syrup, and painkillers hit his stomach, it felt like he was hit by a sudden wave an exhaustion that he couldn't fight against, not that he wanted to. He barely had enough energy after that to cut his wrists.

But he was still here anyways. He couldn't even do this one thing.

As the hours and days passed by, he was only able to answer questions with a nod or slight shake of his head. His throat hurt too much to talk, and when he first tried to, his parents told him not to exert himself. Reaching up to his neck was a feat of strength like this. The area in front of his neck was a bandage, no doubt covering up whatever handiwork the doctor did to stitch his neck closed. So much for a fail-safe.

His parents didn't want to leave his side, and there was always at least on in the room with him. He supposed that was to be expected. So many 'we love you's' and 'it's going to be okay's' and 'we're going to take care of thing's' were spoken to him. He only nodded.

ZZZ

CJ was, frustratingly, getting used to Becky telling her that TJ was in a coma. Knowing that all she could do was wait and hope for the best left her wanting to scream sometimes and wanting to beat in Austin's face until even his mother couldn't recognize him other times.

She and the others still were hoping that the next day would have some good news, even has the days turned into weeks.

Today, just like the day before and the day before that, CJ sat on the stairs in front of TJ's house, waiting for Becky's car to pull around the corner at the end of the street. Getting some homework done while she waited kept her from pacing back and forth. As soon as she saw that car, however, the books were closed and haphazardly shoved into her backpack.

Unlike her usual solemn expression, Becky looked happy for a change. Did that mean there was good news?

"He's awake," Becky said as she approached. "He woke up sometime last night. The doctor said he has a long road to recovery, but he's going to be okay."

Tears welled up in her eyes as she heard those works. It was only a few weeks but the wait to hear those words felt so long. Tears of happiness and relief poured down her face as she couldn't keep up with wiping them away.

"I know you and the rest of his friends want to see him, but if you can just wait a little longer," Becky said. She had a few tears in her eyes as well. "Waking up from a coma, he's pretty weak and can't talk, but the doctor said he should be able to in a few days, then you can come visit."

"Okay. I can wait a few more days. I'm just so happy he's okay," CJ said, sobbing. "I gotta go tell the others. What's a few more days when we know he's wake now, right?"

"Right. I gotta walk Sasha and get some sleep. Do you need a ride before I head inside?"

"No, I can walk home. I kind want to head over and tell the others right away," she said. "Thanks, Becky."

With her backpack thrown over her shoulders CJ headed down the sidewalk, heading towards which friend lived the closet.

ZZZ

"Can you tell me why you're here, TJ?"

"Because I tried to kill myself, Dr. Sage."

After few days, it didn't hurt as much to talk, TJ couldn't use that as an excuse to not talk anymore. Of course his parents were going to bring in Dr. Sage to talk to him. That was to be expected. He had just hoped that it would happen later, but there was no delaying the inevitable, he guessed. Might as well get it over with.

"Don't you already know that?" TJ asked, looking over at his psychologist as he sat in a chair to his left. "I thought they would have told you."

"Yes, they did," Dr. Sage said. "But that's not quite what I'm referring to."

"Sorry, you're gonna have to be clearer with what you're asking," he said. "M'brains a little fuzzy from the coma and everything."

Dr. Sage nodded. "To be specific, do you remember what was going through your mind the moments before you attempted this?"

TJ shrugged. "Not really."

"Not really?"

"Nope. I already decided what I wanted to do, what was there to think about?"

It was a stupid question to him. He mind up his mind; you can only think of doing something so many times before you do it without thinking. That's what happened with him right?

"What's going to happen now, Dr. Sage?" TJ asked. "Am I going back to that place you sent me before?"

"We're still considering what will be the best option for you," said Dr. Sage. "How are you feeling now?"

"Tired, but I've been tired for while, so," He shrugged, and coughed a few time before continuing. "Disappointed I guess. Like a failure."

"Why?"

"C'mon, Dr. Sage. You KNOW why." TJ sighed. "I tried to kill myself, I wanted it to work, and it didn't. That's why."

"Your parents are happy that you're still alive. I am, too."

TJ avoided eye contact, poking at the spot on his stomach where his feeding tube used to be.

"What do you think about how your parents think?"

"I didn't mean to make them sad. It was supposed to make them happy," he said. "I was doing them a favor. They wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. They wouldn't have to worry about me and all of my issues. But I'm still here, and they're still worrying, because i couldn't do this one thing right." Careful of the wires and tubes attached to him, TJ turned to his side. "I don't want to talk about this right now, Dr. Sage."

Fortunately for him, Dr. Sage didn't ask anymore questions, and this improvised therapy session ended.