"Mother, Father… do you mind if we speak with you?" Edea asked after dinner that evening. It had been a wonderful one, full of rich dishes and rare foods that had even Agnes raving. Now, the Vestal and shepherd were heading back to the Grandship, and Edea and Ringabel were staying behind to have a word with her parents.
"Of course," Braev told her, turning to give her his full attention. "What's the matter, my daughter?"
Edea smiled at him, despite the gravity of the conversation to come. "It's about Bee."
They all looked at the child that she carried in her arms. He looked back at them, one of his fists in his mouth.
"Do you think we're doing the right thing?" Edea asked. "Bringing him along with us despite the danger?
"We've talked about this before," Braev replied. They had, at length. "A child deserves to be with his parents, and your mother and I are past the age where we want to raise children. The path ahead is full of uncertainty, but it's your path to pave."
That didn't do a lot to assuage her fears, Edea thought, rocking Bee slightly. Then again, she wasn't sure if Braev could say anything that might quell the unease she felt. The past night's events with Airy were still sharp in her mind.
"You're right, of course," Ringabel told Braev. "We want him with us, however…"
"This isn't just doubts about raising a child while traveling, is it?" Braev asked them. "Something happened."
"Something did happen," Edea confirmed. She explained everything, starting with the murderous presence she had felt the day of her accident, and ending with the previous night's incident with Airy. It felt good to get it all off her chest. Maybe the events weren't related, but there was something going on that she didn't like. The presence had been the same, and Ringabel chimed in to say that in the Florem woods he had felt something similar when they had almost confronted the unknown, unseen beast.
Braev looked deep in thought. "Yes, there's something more going on here." He seemed troubled. "Is this related to the crystals awakening, I wonder?"
"Whatever it is, we want to be prepared."
"Then never let down your guard," Braev advised them. "Be vigilant. Moreso than you would normally be."
"That's a given," Edea replied. "You know we'll be careful."
"Still…" Ringabel said, unsure. He placed a hand on Bee's back. "We want to be safe." He couldn't imagine what he would do if something were to happen to his son.
"The safest place for him is with you," Braev replied. He stood and crossed over the room to stand beside them, towering over them both. He too, placed a hand on the infant's back. "So long as you keep him in sight, or at least with people that you trust, things will be fine. Keep your head about you."
Mahzer stood as well. "I know you're scared, Edea. I felt the same way when I had you."
"You did?"
The older woman nodded. "Yulyana tried to keep us safe, but we had to run from the Orthodoxy's troops when you were still very small. They were trying to strike Braev where they knew they could hurt him the most."
"What did you do?" This was the first time that Edea had heard of this.
'We were saved by some of the Duchy's soldiers, people that to this day we would entrust our lives to."
Edea wasn't so sure that many of the Duchy were worthy of their trust anymore, but perhaps things were different in this world regarding that. They certainly seemed to be.
"You have people like that at your side," Braev pointed out. "Agnes Oblige and Tiz Arrior will be there until the very end, not to mention the people of the Grandship crew. They seem as loyal as they come."
Edea thought on this for a few moment, rocking Bee. Yes, they had people around them that were trustworthy, people who had proven that they would die for the goal of sweeping the Darkness from the Crystals and healing the gaping chasm of Norende. But that was for the sake of the world. One small boy… that was a different matter. Could she trust them with her son's life?
Yes, she thought a moment later. She could. All but Airy…
Airy was less and less trustworthy as the days went on. Still, they had decided to follow her direction. It was all they had, and Braev had approved of their resolve. They had to trust in themselves, and in each other.
"As much as pains me to say, knowing that I will never see him, or you, again, a child belongs with his parents. He belongs with you," Braev said, interrupting her thoughts. "That's the safest and most certain place for him."
"Alright, alright. I don't want him to leave him behind." The idea made tears spring to her eyes, but the idea of something happening to him made her heart hurt. "Thank you, Father. I feel a little better for this talk."
He nodded, his hand still on Bee's back. "I'm glad we could help. Now, how about your mother and I spend some time with our favorite grandchild, for the last time?"
After that night, they would be leaving Eternia, and then shortly after, leaving that world. Edea passed Bee over into her father's arms, while Ringabel led her to sit down on a couch.
"Let's talk," he said to her, his eyes bright. He too, seemed affected by the idea of something happening to their son. Of course he was, she told herself. He had been from the very beginning.
For some time, the family stayed in the room. Edea and Ringabel talked about how to best keep an eye on Bee, their voices quiet but urgent as they planned out how one of them - or someone they trusted - would be around him at all times. He would cosleep with them, be carried by one of them, not so much as left alone for a single second. It would be exhausting, Edea was sure, but it was the safest solution. Not just to fend off Airy, but any other enemy that might target him. When they fought, they could leave him onboard Grandship under the watchful eyes of Datz, Zatz, and the Proprietress, who all liked children.
Eventually, however, all good things must come to an end, and Edea found herself swaying slightly, yawning so hard that her jaw popped. Her chest felt tight, a sure sign that she needed to nurse, and Bee was beginning to fuss. Normally she might nurse him while in bed so that she could sleep, but they were a long walk from Grandship, and he couldn't wait.
"You should go," Braev said regretfully.
"We should," Ringabel agreed, standing up and taking Bee from Mahzer to bring him over to Edea. Maybe she could get a nap in while he fed, enough to give her energy to make the trek to Grandship. "After he's finished."
"We'll miss you, all three of you," Mahzer said, sitting beside Edea as Bee began to feed. "It's been so lovely, having you here. I only wish that somehow you could stay longer."
"That wouldn't be fair to the Edea of this world," Rigabel pointed out. "Nor to Alternis, even if he and I no longer use the same name."
"You have a point," Braev replied. "The four of you are different people. Not just in your experiences, but in other ways. I want Edea to feel free to do what she wants, within reason of course, and not tied down because of your actions."
"My actions are fine!"
"You did marry very young," Braev replied, as though it were obvious. "And in that union you had a child, making your mother and I grandparents a few years before we thought we would be."
"Not that we're complaining," Mahzer was quick to cut in. "Though I'm sure you can see how rumors might affect her."
"Yes, we talked about it," Edea said.
"You've seen her?" Braev asked, raising an eyebrow.
"We have, and we had a small conversation with her," Ringabel replied, sliding an arm around Edea. Hopefully Braev would think nothing of it, either the movement or the fact that they'd talked to his daughter from this world. "Nothing major, I promise you. We just spoke about the differences between this world and others."
"Then I should do the same," Braev decided. He stood up from his chair. "Perhaps now, since she wasn't able to have dinner with us."
"Now?" Mahzer asked him. "It's getting late."
"She's probably still awake," Edea said. "And she'd be happy to talk to you, even if it was a little late in the evening. All I ever wanted was your attention."
"You'll have it now, I promise. Goodbye, Edea and Ringabel."
Braev left, and Mahzer stayed to chat with them until Bee was finished eating. By that point, both Ringabel and Edea were yawning, and it was a painfully long trip back to Grandship still. They bundled each other up along with the baby and went on their way with one last hug and kiss from Mahzer.
They wouldn't be returning.
In the morning, Grandship left Eternia's shores, bound for Ancheim. Agnes had promised Olivia that she would try to stop in Ancheim to see her, away from the Florem carnage, and they wanted to check Ancheim for any supplies that they could take into the next world.
Ringabel was convinced there would be a next world, for all that the others didn't seem to believe him. But Airy's wings looked like the number 2 and had been counting down, which meant that 1 was left. After that, he didn't know… didn't want to know.
Airy seemed to be oddly resigned to the visit in Ancheim, though she kicked up a fuss when she was told that she couldn't accompany Agnes. "I'm a Cryst Fairy! It's my responsibility to be with the vestal. Since Olivia is a vestal, wouldn't it make sense that I see her too?"
"Until we're certain it's safe, the Black Blossoms are very careful about who can see Olivia," Agnes told her, looking weary. "They almost wouldn't allow me to see her. It was only due to … extenuating circumstances… that they allowed the visit."
"What 'extenuating circumstances' are those?" Airy demanded.
"After the world is cleansed of darkness, who knows how busy Agnes and Olivia will be?" Ringabel asked her. "They'd better have a visit before then. Isn't that right?"
The circumstances had been Agnes's imminent travel to another world, not that Ringabel would say out loud what they all suspected. Airy seemed to still think them under the illusion that they had time-traveled.
"It will work this time, won't it?" he asked the fairy next, careful to keep his tone light. "We've spent longer than usual, the world must be itching to be cleansed."
"Well… of course it'll work! You don't doubt it, do you Ringabel?" Airy asked him in return.
"Of course I don't," he reassured her easily. Too easily, his tone flighty as it had ever been. "You're our resident Crystal expert, after all!"
Resident Crystal expert who pouted all the next day as Agnes left early in the morning. The rest of them stayed behind on Grandship and the desert.
To no one's surprise, Bee did not like the desert. He cried for hours, restless in the heat as they all were. Not even being held by his mother was enough to soothe him. The only time he didn't cry was when he was actively nursing, much to Edea's frustration and discomfort. She huddled with him for hours, it seemed like, until her nerves felt rubbed raw and tears of pain sprang to her eyes. She wanted to throw him at Ringabel and run. Did this make her a bad mother? Was she a bad mother?
"You're not a bad mother," Ringabel said to her with some amusement when she finally voiced her fears to him.
"I don't see what's funny about this," she replied, nose in the air. Bee was finally asleep, his head against her chest. She didn't dare move and wake him.
"Nothing's funny." The slight smile on his face was wiped off in an instant as he sat beside her, his arm wrapping around her waist. Easy for to him say, she thought miserably. All he had to do was change some dirty diapers. "I know you're stressed, and I wish I could do more to help you, and him."
"Aw, Ringabel…"
"All I can do is sit here and look pretty," Ringabel continued, completely ruining any empathy she had been about to feel for him. She elbowed him harshly in the stomach in return.
"I can think of a few things you can do!" she hissed, mindful of the way that Bee stirred, drool dripping from his mouth. Gross, but then again, a bit of drool was the least concerning bodily fluid she could deal with. "Get off your pretty butt!"
His pretty butt could do chores for the rest of the day, she decided. Both her own and Agnes's, so that when the Vestal returned they could immediately head toward the Holy Pillar.
It would be hard, leaving this world behind. So much had happened in it, their son had been born in it, but they needed to move on. Everyone suspected, even if they didn't always say it out loud, that they would move onto the next world. Edea wanted to be prepared for what happened next.
Their preparations were such that several days later, she called Datz to her room. They were nearly upon the Holy Pillar, the light of it blinding on the horizon. Agnes had returned from her visit with Olivia with a happy shine to her face that had persisted even as Airy implored them to remember their Journey and the sacrifices that they needed to make in order to cleanse the darkness from the world. They had left the desert to the relief of everyone, and the skies over the ocean were clear and bright as if the clouds had fled the appearance of the Holy Pillar.
"What can I do for you, Edea?" Datz asked her.
Edea gestured to Bee, who was in his bassinet and very interested in his feet at the moment. "I need you to babysit."
"Babysit?"
"We're going to be entering the Holy Pillar soon. You, Zatz, and the Proprietress will enter the hold as you've always done, aren't you? I need you to take Bee with you. I… I don't think it's safe for him in the bridge."
If they were right and they would enter another world, that meant that they would fall unconscious and transported to Caldisa. How they were found, she didn't know; they'd never asked. All she knew was that they would eventually wake up in the inn in Caldisla, with a Karl who didn't know nor like them, and that their journey would start anew. That was hardly the place for an infant. No, he needed to be under the eye of someone she could trust.
"I don't mind taking him into the hold with us, but are you sure…?"
"You know where to find us," she replied wearily. "The light on the bridge… the way that we're transported to Caldis… none of that is safe for him. I really owe you one if you can do this for us." She had pumped extra milk, had packed nearly all of his diapers into one big bag, just in case, as well as a few toys. Enough to keep him satisfied for a day or two or even longer, if things came to that.
Hopefully, they wouldn't.
Later that day, Bee was in the hold with the others, and Edea and Ringabel found themselves on the bridge, the light of Holy Pillar as piercing as it was blinding. Thank goodness she had thought to have him away from this, Edea thought as she hugged herself. The light was so bright it was almost painful.
"She's shaking hard!" Ringabel announced, his grip irontight on the wheel of the Grandship. None of that mattered. The ship was shaking dreadfully, and Edea feared that this would be the last, that she would fall apart as they journeyed through the Holy Pillar and into the next world. She clutched Ringabel from behind now, pressing her face into his back and shielding herself from the light through him. It didn't matter. As they entered the pillar, the light was around them, through them, ever present even though she closed her eyes tightly and huddled down behind the solid form of her husband. "Everyone! Hold on!"
Everything went black, a blessing.
Time passed.
The light was bright and piercing and almost painful, and her eyes ached as she forced them open. Somewhere, she could hear a baby crying.
A baby crying.
Her baby crying.
Edea sat up, pushing the covers off her form. They were in the inn in Caldisla; she knew it very well by now. She could see the others still asleep, though Ringabel stirred, likely drawn to the same noise that she was. As she pulled the covers off and stood, she had to stop with a grimace, clutching at her chest. Her breasts were painfully tight, engorged with milk. How long had they been asleep, and how long had she been away from her child?
Karl's silhouette appeared in the doorway. "Ah, young lady. You're awake."
She nodded at him as she approached, still feeling fatigued and painful, but determined to get to her crying son. She knew it was Bee. She recognized those cries. "Yes, I am. I was on my way downstairs."
"There's someone here who says he needs to see you," Karl said, and she saw his eyes flick past her to Ringabel's bed.
"I think I know who it is," she reassured him and slipped past him to hurry down the stairs.
Datz was standing in the lobby of the inn, looking positively harassed both by the screaming infant in his arms and the Caldisla guard who was standing nearby, watching him warily.
"Edea!" he called when he saw, and she could see the relief in his face. "There you are! I told them you'd be here."
"I'm here," she said to him, and to the baby whose screams abruptly stopped at the sound of her voice. Instead he faded to whimpers, waving his arms at her. "I'm here, sweetie," she said to Bee again as she scooped him up into her arms. He immediately began to root around her chest, tiny hand pawing at her top.
"I told you that was his mother," Datz was saying to the guard as she turned away from them to undo her top. Her hands were shaking as she tried to juggle her squirming baby and the fabric, aware that the pain in her chest wouldn't stop until she could feed him.
"Thanks for bringing him, Datz," Edea heard Ringabel say, his words slightly slurred with sleep. Bee's cries picked up, his face turning red as he went another minute without being fed and Edea felt her own eyes prick with tears. She hated hearing him so upset. Ringabel came around to help her, picking Bee up so that her hands and arms could be free and tucking the baby against his chest, attempting to soothe him with some backrubs. "Come now. Be a good boy. Mommy's going as fast as she can." The baby hiccuped, very unhappy.
"I suppose you were right," the guard was saying to Datz. "I'll leave you to it, then." He nodded at them, and then at Karl as the innkeep came back downstairs, and left.
Without the baby in her arms, Edea found it very easy to undo her top and her bra, and took Bee back from Ringabel, cradling him and letting him latch before she sat down on one of the couches in the lobby. The boy's cries went silent, and though his nursing was painful at first, Edea bore it with gritted teeth as the pressure gradually decreased.
Ringabel was taking off his jacket. "What was that about?" he asked Datz.
"I don't know," Datz replied. "But something about a man as dark as me carrying a screaming baby as fair as Bee was cause for concern, I guess. They wanted to know where his parents were."
Karl snorted. "As it should be. You can never know what sorts of people are out there." He was watching Ringabel and Edea curiously as the former draped his jacket over Edea's shoulders, offering her some privacy. Then, Ringabel kneeled in front of her so that he could kiss the top of the baby's head and hold her hand.
"How long has it been?" Edea asked Datz. Bee was always a voracious eater, but he was starving, based on how quickly he was trying to eat. She stroked his cheek gently.
"A day or so," Datz said. "We ran out what you gave us last night, but I wasn't able to get us docked in Caldisla until this morning. The Proprietress fed him goat's milk to help, but she didn't want to give him too much in case it upset his system. We knew the best thing would be to get him to you."
"No wonder it hurts so much," she grimaced.
"It's hurting?" Ringabel asked, concerned.
"A little," she confessed, shifting her grip on her son. "They're sort of… full."
"Well, maybe I can help with that," he suggested, and when she saw the sly grin on his face, she kicked at him.
"Ringabel!"
Ringabel dodged her foot as he stood and hurried over to Datz. "I could use some coffee, and I think I'll get us all breakfast while Bee is eating his. Do you want to come with me?"
"Yeah, sure. You payin'?"
The two men left the inn, leaving her to nurse her baby alone. The inn was relatively quiet; there were very few patrons out in the lobby, and those who were already awake were mostly on the other side of the common area, enjoying tea now that the baby's screams were quieted. She found that she didn't mind the quiet, or being alone. It gave her more time to try and calm her baby on her own terms, her hand gently stroking the top of his still-bald head. He wasn't wearing a hat; in his haste to get Bee to her, Datz must have forgotten one.
"How old is he?" Karl asked after a few minutes. She looked up as the innkeep approached, and the older man sat beside her on the couch, looking kindly at her.
"10 weeks," Edea replied, realizing that Bee was that old already. "It's all going by so fast."
"Only that old?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "He's quite a large boy for his age!"
She found it easy to laugh, though she had to do so carefully, so as to not disrupt the baby. "He was over ten pounds when he was born. He's just gotten bigger since. He gets it from his father, and grandfather as well, I think."
Karl whistled. "My son was eight pounds when he was born. I thought that was big. Your boy's going to grow up to be very strong."
She smiled at him. She knew his son well, though she couldn't tell him that. This Karl was not the same one they had grown so close to. "We hope so. We're all in the military, and I know my father would love to see him as a soldier…" Except the Braev that had held Bee as an infant would never hold him again, and her own father hadn't even met him yet. She bit her lip and trailed off, looking away, back at Bee. The pain in one breast had decreased as he nursed, but the other needed tending to. She should probably switch him soon, before he got too full.
"He'll be there someday, I'm sure. Before you know it, he's going to be running around play with swords or getting into trouble. Sometimes, I don't know where the years went with Owen."
This was as good a time as any. Edea broke Bee's latch with a gentle finger and ignored his unhappy wails as she shifted him around. Soon enough, he was quiet again. "Does it really pass that quickly?" she finally asked Karl. "It seems like every day is so long. At the same time, when I think about how he was just a week ago, it…"
"Little ones grow very fast," he said, and there was a fond smile on his face. "Everyday is something new, so it all blurs together and at the end of it, you're left wondering where all the years were."
She looked back down at the baby in her arms, and her eyes met his for just a moment. She smiled at him and she saw his eyes crinkle up with a returning smile. "I hope it doesn't pass too quickly."
"That man, the blond one, he's your husband then?" Karl asked. "I hope you don't mind the personal questions. It's just been a long time since I've had a guest with such a young child."
She nodded. "That's Ringabel. We married just before we had the baby."
"You too look awfully young."
Edea felt herself laugh somewhat nervously. "We are young. I'm only… 19," she decided, because 18 would have made her even younger when they conceived, and both 18 and 19 were technically true. "We weren't planning on having him so soon, but it's all worked out."
"Owen was the same. My wife and I, we weren't quite as young as you two, but we'd planned on waiting a couple more years before having children, until he happened. It's not always bad, though. He was the best thing that's happened to me, I must say."
Edea gave him a bright smile. "Bee's the same! Ringabel and I love him so much, and we don't regret having him so soon."
Karl raised an eyebrow at her. "That's his name?"
She flushed. "It's actually Braev; we named him after my father. But then we decided that Braev was too big a name for such a little boy, so we're giving him some time to grow into it." And it was awkward to talk about 'Braev' doing things like leaking out of his diaper or throwing up on them when the adult Braev could overhear such things.
"That's a good, strong name," Karl replied, nodding. "I'm sure he'll grow to match it."
He sat beside her and chatted a while longer, talking about baby things, family things. It was nice to talk to someone outside of her family about their experience with their child, she decided. Gave her different ideas and perspectives! By the time Bee was finished, his belly once more full and round, Agnes was coming down the stairs, rubbing her eyes.
Edea had handed Bee over to Karl, who had offered to hold the baby while she cleaned herself up. She met Agnes near the stairs. "Ringabel's getting breakfast for us," Edea said. "He should be back soon."
Agnes nodded, yawning. "Tiz is still asleep." Airy hovered close by her shoulder.
Tiz was, for some reason, always the last to wake.
"I'll go check on him," Karl decided a half-hour later, heading upstairs to the room they'd all woken up. By now, Ringabel had returned with breakfast for them all. He'd taken so long because Datz had, in his haste to get the baby to Edea, forgotten to pack some of the essentials for him, and they'd had to make a detour.
"Sorry about that," Datz said as Ringabel took the baby into the restroom to change his diaper. Diapers had been one of the things Ringabel had purchased, and she was very glad he had. "He was screaming his head off in hunger, and I didn't even think about it coming out the other end."
Edea giggled at him. Her pastry was delicious and she could almost forgive how long they'd taken to return with it. "Don't worry about it! We needed to buy some new diapers, anyway. This just means we won't have to stop later."
"Does he seem alright, hunger aside?" Agnes asked. "It seems we've reset the world once more. I hope it had no ill effect on him."
Edea bit her lip. "He only seemed hungry, to me. I didn't notice if anything else was off." And she spent a lot of time with him. She would have noticed if something was different.
Airy shook her head from where she was sitting on the table. "I told you, Edea! It's dangerous on our journey. What if something had happened to him?"
"Well, it didn't," Edea snapped, annoyed. "He's fine, and he's here with us now, and that's what's most important."
"Don't worry," Datz reassured him. "Zatz had him in the carrier the whole time. We made sure he was safe and sound with us. The only problem was getting him to you before he got too hungry."
"And before my breasts got too full," she grumbled, crossing her arms. They still felt tender, even after Bee had had his fill. She should probably feel ashamed over having such a frank conversation in mixed company, but she had long since lost her sense of shame over this topic.
"I did volunteer to help," her husband chimed in as he emerged from the restroom, clean baby in arms. "I consider it a worthy cause and a sacrifice I'll gladly make."
She stuck her tongue at him.
Tiz joined them shortly after, still looking tired. They all gathered around the table, Edea holding Bee on their lap, as they worked out their plans.
"I'm sorry," Airy said, not sounding sorry at all. Her wings looked like the number 1. "I guess it didn't work after all. Maybe because we spent so much time…"
"Well, we won't have that problem in this world," Edea said. "We can attack the Crystals as quickly as possible if we have to!"
"I'll have to take a look at Grandship to make sure she's still in good condition," Ringabel said, sipping at his coffee. "The shaking was awfully bad this last time. I'm worried about her."
"I'm sure the ship is fine," Airy said. "It's never failed us before!"
"And there's the matter of the Duchy," Edea muttered. "We can't let them run wild again. We need to check on them, make sure that we stop any operations to save the regions from their wickedness."
Then again… were they really so wicked? In the past world, it was as if the Duchy operations barely existed. They had seemed all too busy doing their own thing to terrorize the various countries they had been assigned to. Victoria had been part of a Duchy girls' only club, for heavens' sake! There were many things to think about.
At least now they had some time. The world was new.