Chapter 37
The rumbling of the tracks connecting with the rails below them became the soundtrack of the ride as they sat huddled together, neither willing to speak. James' arm remained around Lily's shoulders, her hand collapsed in his other. As the sky began to show signs of daylight, James felt a weight lean back on his shoulder and glanced over to find that she had finally given in to sleep. He let out a sigh as he relaxed back into the bench, no longer on edge about her breaking at any moment. They were nearing London and he knew from that point on, this was going to be even more difficult for her. Especially with her sister and the Walrus around.
Lily's eyes were empty as her mother embraced her tightly the moment she passed through the barrier. James stood quietly beside her with their bags as they emerged from the train platform back into the Muggle world. Christine pulled back hoping to meet her daughter's gaze, but instead found her looking toward the exit. Her eyes turned to James who gave a gentle smile before setting down one of the bags to pull Christine into a short embrace.
"She hasn't cried or spoken since she heard." He whispered into her ear and could feel her body stiffen as she looked back at her daughter. Her daughter who continued to zone off in the direction of the exit. "Just give her time. She will come around after it's had time to set in." They nodded to one another as Christine took a bag from James and began leading the way toward the car. James began to follow but stopped at Lily's side, offering his hand. He expected her to seek comfort in him but was taken aback for a moment as she took his hand and looped his arm around her shoulder, linking her arm around his waist. As her eyes met his, he could read her hurt and see that this was what she needed. Without question, he tightened his arm around her shoulder and continued following Christine the remainder of the way to the car. Eventually he would give her the letter that was burning a hole in his pocket. But it had to be the right time. Mark told him that she had to be accepting of what had happened. She had to accept everything and cry.
X
The corridors had calmed down for the evening by the time that Remus finally decided to emerge from the Prefects lounge. He had spent the majority of his evening after the game hiding from the chaos that he knew awaited him back in Gryffindor Tower. If it was a good enough party, then James or Lily would track him down and convince him to come back to enjoy it. But without word from either of them throughout the night, Remus could see it was a party worth missing. The cool night air sent chills through him as he strolled quietly through the corridors. Attempting to ignore the moon that was ever growing in the sky outside, shining back at him. The dread of the full moon rapidly approaching once more.
"Moony?" Sounded behind Remus, startling him. He quickly turned and let out a sigh of relief as he took in the comforting face. Sirius moved his way down the corridor toward Remus, broom hanging over his shoulder as he sauntered along. "What's with the broom, Pads?" He chuckled as he looked at the time, noting it was well past midnight. He wouldn't put it past Sirius and James to attempt a prank at this hour in honor of their victory. "Needed to get past the girls stairwell in the dorms." Sirius sighed, shifting the broom higher onto his shoulder. "Ah. Trying to spend the night in Hestia's room?" Remus quipped, trying his hardest to mask his frustration. "I wish. But unfortunately I have to go be the bearer of bad news." Remus was surprised as he watched the cocky smile fade from Sirius' lips. His friend looked defeated as he continued along the corridor.
"What bad news?" He asked cautiously as the boy turned to follow his friend back down the halls. "Lily's dad passed last night. She and James are on the train back to London now." Remus froze in place. He had wondered why neither of them has come to find him tonight. But now hearing the reason, broke his heart. "Did anyone know he was sick?" He finally sighed out as he caught back up to Sirius' side. "Just James. I had some of an idea. She slipped up and mentioned it to her roommates our first night back. It's why she slept in James bed that evening. But aside from that, Evans kept this one under lock and key." He let out a huff as his brain continued to filter through scenarios of how he could tell the girls. "Poor Lily. He was her best friend." Remus' voice broke through Sirius' thoughts.
"Can you imagine actually getting on that well with your old man?" He finally chuffed out as they approached the Portrait. Remus couldn't help but laugh as he attempted to think of the last time he had even seen his father. "Can't even comprehend how to talk to my Dad, let alone be friends with him." He chuckled back as the Fat Lady smiled down at him. "Kelpies." Sirius beamed up at the lady, shooting her a quick wink before she opened the frame allowing the pair inside. "No one will ever be able to understand my terrible upbringing like you, Moony." Sirius smiled as he slunk an arm around his friend's shoulder, pulling Remus tightly into his side. Not even comprehending the mess he was setting off in his friends mind.
"Well…" Remus cleared his throat before stepping out from under Sirius' arm and up onto the dormitory steps. "Then it's a good thing we're such good mates then." He chuckled nervously before glancing back at him. "But Good luck with the girls. I'll see you back in the dorm in a bit." He quickly spoke before leaving Sirius at the base of the stairs, trying to calm his racing heart in the process.
X
James arrived back at the Manor to find Dorea waiting just outside the fireplace. "Hullo Mum." He sighed as he took in her solemn expression. She had been crying. Dorea Potter had always been a sympathetic crier. And with being there for Christine the day before, she clearly had cried quite a bit. Dorea immediately enveloped her son in a hug. Small sobs escaping her mouth. James held his mother close, his arms tightly wrapped around her back. "He isn't suffering anymore. He's finally at peace." He whispered into his mother's shoulder. Her grip loosened as she pulled back to look at him. "How is she?"
James let out an exhausted sigh. "She's not speaking. She won't cry. Basically shut down like he told me she would." A questioning look appeared over Dorea's face. "He?" James smirked as he pulled his bag around to reach in. "Mark wrote me a letter before he passed. I'm not allowed to tell her and give her her own until after the funeral when she's ready." His hand emerged from the bag and pulled with it a piece of parchment that Dorea instantly took. Her eyes slowly scanned the letter, tears forming in her eyes as she took in the mans words of his own passing. But suddenly her eyes froze and grew large along with the smirk that pulled at her lips. "Future son in law? Did he…" She chuckled as she glanced between her son and the paper. "Give me his blessing? I've been trying to figure that one out myself." James laughed, taking the parchment back from his mother.
"But you two aren't even a thing. You're both in a relationship with other people aren't you?" James' crooked grin appeared as he broke eye contact with his mother. "I ended things with Deirdre for good." Dorea let out a sharp laugh before her hands flew up to cover her mouth. "Sorry." He couldn't help but laugh at his mother. "Don't be. I'm not quite sure what I ever saw in her anyway." Dorea smiled happily to hear her son was able to see that vile girl for who she truly was. "And Lily hates Crouch these days." Dorea wasn't surprised to hear a smart girl like Lily quickly acquired a distaste for a boy raised in the Ministry. "Lit every Daily Prophet aflame in the Great Hall wandless when that gossip article was published after their date."
She stared at him in awe. "Your father can't even perform wandless magic!" James could only smile thinking about how the only thing that calmed her down that morning was being spoken to by himself and McGonagall. "She wants nothing to do with Junior. Ranted to me the moment she returned early from their date to Hogsmead. The bugger didn't even have the decency to buy her lunch!" James growled thinking about that day again. Trying to ignore his greater hatred for the boy that had developed soon after. As he came back to reality and made eye contact with Dorea, he was slightly taken aback by the smile that met his glance. "What?"
Dorea just smiled wider and shook her head. "Maybe he was right to give you his blessing after all." A mischievous smile on her face. But before he could object, the fireplace erupted behind James, causing him to shift aside and allow his father through. Only it wasn't his father, but a broken up looking Lily Evans with her arms curled around one of her textbooks. "Lils?" James reached out to touch her shoulder. "I can't be in that house." She whispered, clearly in too much pain to elaborate. "You can stay in one of our guest rooms dear." Dorea chimed in, startling Lily. She hadn't noticed her presence in the room. "Thank you." She whispered, glancing toward Mrs. Potter.
"No need for thanks, my sweet girl." She smiled as she stepped forward and pulled Lily into a hug. James was worried she would push away, but Lily loosened her grip on her book and slid an arm around Dorea. "Marley?" A crack sounded in the room as the house elf appeared. "Yes Miss?" The elf smiled as she took in the sight of Lily's arrival. "Would you please prepare the guest room beside James' room for Lily?" Marley nodded and with a quick snap, vanished. "You're family, my dear. You're always welcome in our home." Dorea whispered to Lily as she gave her one last squeeze before letting her go.
"Now. Would anyone like a cuppah? I feel like we could all use a little pick me up." She smiled at the kids before her, turning to leave for the kitchen. James took a step forward after his mother but stopped at Lily to slip his arm around her shoulders. "Let's get some tea, Lils." He spoke before meeting her gaze. She met him with a soft nod before slipping her arm around his waist, the pair setting off for the kitchen.
X
The banging on the door caused the girls to jump slightly since no girl had that aggressive of a knock. As Celia opened the door, she was taken aback to find Sirius Black in a broom, hovering before her. "What in Merlin's beard are you up to?" She scoffed as she took in the sight before her. "I had something important to pass along but my owl is away. Can I come in before the stairwell realizes I'm cheating it's charm?" Normally he would look smug about his achievement of beating a Castle charm, but the stern look on his face brought up a knot in Celia's stomach and she stepped aside. The girls in the room screeched as Sirius flew in and settled in the middle of the space.
"Black! What are you doing? Get out!" Marlene yelled as he cautiously touched down to the floor, grateful the charm didn't reach into the dormitories. "Shut it McKinnon! This is important!" He snapped, causing the anger to leave her face. "What's wrong, Sirius?" Mary quietly asked as she crawled to the foot of her bed. "Mark Evans passed away last night." Shock spread over their faces as they all sputtered for something to say. Their faces quickly shifting to frustration as they all realized that they were once again, last to know and finding out from Sirius. "Where's Lily?" Denise McLaggen asked, causing everyone to stare at her questionly. "I've lived with you lot for five years! You act like I don't care! Well guess what? I bloody do! Now where is she, Black?" Denise snapped as the girls acknowledged that she made a fair argument.
"She and James left for London as soon as they heard." Curiosity drifted along their faces upon hearing his name. "The Potters will be attending the funeral. I never met Mark so Dorea told me to stay here and let James take care of Lily." Sirius lied as the girls remained quiet for some time. Celia's small voice broke the silence. "She told me once that her Dad was her Best Friend." The other girls looked between Celia and Sirius. "That's what Remus has told me too.I haven't heard from James since they left after the game, but He told me he'd write once they were settled in back in London. So I'll let you know when I do." The girls let out a joint sigh as they looked at the empty four poster bed in the room. "Poor Lily…" Mary whispered.
X
Dorea had gone to bed shortly after Mr. Potter returned home for the evening, leaving James to show Lily to her room. The pair approached the end of the hall where the two doors stood beside one another. James reached forward and turned the knob, allowing the door to Lily's room to swing open. The room was similar to the set up of his own, but not as aggressive of color scheme as it sat in deep blues rather than the bright Scarlett of Gryffindor. "Marley put some night shirts in the wardrobe for you to use if you'd like." He gestured to the large wardrobe across from the bed. "The loo is right through the door back there. Marley made sure everything is available for you to use if you need it." James smiled as he turned back to her.
"Marley really likes you so you are going to be spoiled rotten by her and mum." He glanced over hoping for some reaction, but Lily's expression still hasn't changed from earlier. Her eyes were emotionless. Her facial expressions showing no signs of life. James was worried. How long would she stay like this? Would she eventually cry? When would he be able to give her the letter? He quietly rested his hand on her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "I'm just next door if you need me." He whispered before allowing his hand to drop and moved quietly into the adjacent room. He glanced back as he was a few steps away, seeing her move toward her bed to look at the woodwork of the frame.
At least she was moving about now? Was all he could think in his mind as James slid his shirt over his head and fell back on his bed, sliding his hand under the pillow to feel the cool metal he had asked Marley to hide here earlier. "Padfoot!" He whispered, pulling out the small mirror. "Damn it Prongs! What took you so long? How is she?" Sirius' voice cut through before his image appeared in the glass. "She's in the room beside mine for the night. Barely talking to anyone." James sighed glancing back at his door to see she had sat down on the bed now, still clutching her textbook on Magical Creatures. "How about you? You alright, Prongsy?" Sirius' concerned voice broke through James' thoughts. "I'm ok. I just don't like seeing her like this." He sighed glancing back down to see that for once, Sirius was being sincere and not mocking him.
"I told the girls this morning. They were confused at first to hear you went but they just want to know she's ok. They know how much her dad meant to her." James could just imagine the outrage of the girls learning from Sirius of all people that their best friend's father had passed. He wondered who ended up being the voice of reason to pull them out of their tantrums. "Who pulled them out of their pity party?" James jumped as Lily's voice sounded in front of him. "Merlin Red!" He sighed as he reached out a free hand to her. "What was that, Prongs?"
"It's just me, Sirius." Her voice was quiet as she came into the image beside James. "Lily! There's my girl! To answer your question is going to shock you… but McLaggen actually shut them all up. Brought your whole room to silence. It was beautifully done." Both Lily and James were surprised to hear that out of anyone, it was her. "Hold on… how in bloody hell did you get in my dormitory?" A devilish smirk appeared on Sirius' face. "Great to see you both are doing so well! Ok? Bye!" He quickly vanished from the image only leaving the reflection of Lily and James staring back at themselves. "He won't tell a prefect his secrets. I'll ask when you aren't around." James smiled at her nervously.
"Can I get you anything?" He asked looking over for some form of reaction. He only received a small shake of the head for no. He watched her linger for a moment as she fidgeted with the corner of the book in her hands. James slowly began to remember that look from months before. "Would you like to stay in here tonight, Lils?" For the first time today, her eyes met his with visible emotion. They looked as if they were pleading with him as her head gave a slow nod. James shifted up towards the pillows, moving one over for her as she set down the textbook on his table and quickly curled up in bed against his chest. His arms naturally slid around her shoulders, pulling her even closer to him. His chin resting on the top of her head as they both settled in to sleep.
X
Mark Evans
November 14, 1975
Loving Father, Husband and Friend
Lily couldn't help but sigh as she took in the engraved stone before her. The rest of the crowd had shifted back to the cars as she remained behind. "You would have wanted more." She whispered as she knelt down onto the pile of fresh dirt waiting to fill in the large hole beside her. "If I could have, I would have given you a proper Wizards burial. You would have loved the Magic." A lone tear slid down her face as she pulled up a handful of the soil, letting it slip slowly from her hand as she looked in at the wooden casket below. "I wish I could have done more, Dad." In her mind, he deserved the most grand event to see him from this world. But Muggles were always dark and glum. They mourned rather than celebrated. Another tear slid down her cheek as she turned back to the granite beside her. "I'm going to miss you, Old man." Lily choked out as her fingers slid over the engraved words, suddenly noticing the sound of crumbling. As she looked to the side of her fathers name, she couldn't help but sob out a laugh as a deck of cards began to push itself into the granite.
"That seems more fitting for you, Mark." James' voice sounded behind her as she glanced back to find his wand out and hidden in front of him. "Needed to send him off with just a bit of magic. Wouldn't have been right without it." He was hoping that is was the right thing to do as he saw her alone, on the ground by his grave. The man adored the his daughter lived in and it wouldn't have been right to not send him off in some magical way. They both remained silent as Lily pushed herself up from the ground and brushed off her knees. She took a few steps until she was at his side and before he could react, James felt the wind knocked out of him as Lily crashed herself in him. Enveloping him in a tight embrace.
"Thank you, James." She cried into his chest, her shoulders shaking in sobs as his arms slid around her back, pulling her closer to him. "Anything for you, Lily." He whispered before placing a kiss into her hair. "There's a lot of Muggles around though. Aren't you going to get into trouble?" She sighed into his chest before glancing up to meet his eyes. "I'm sure Ol' Charlus will be able to explain my way out of this one. I didn't know him long, but your Dad was the most incredible Muggle I ever met. He deserved something like this. " He sighed out as she pulled away from him. "He liked you too." She laughed lightly wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Which is funny because my Dad usually hated my guy friends." James couldn't help but smile as he thought back to his few interactions with Mark and how civil they had all been from the very beginning.
As the pair stood together, James watched Lily wipe another tear from her cheek and realized it was time. "He asked me to give you something." He was finally able to whisper out. Lily's eyes immediately shooting up to find his. Her face filled with hurt and confusion. "He said to wait until the funeral was over and…" James reached out to brush away a lone tear that began to slip down her cheek. "And after you'd finally cried." His hand slid down to his pocket and slipped out the thick envelope. "When did you get this?" He could hear the pain in her voice as her fingers touched the parchment in his hand. "I found an owl waiting in my dorm after the Quidditch match. I was already packing before McGonagall sent for me. I didn't want you going alone. I wanted to make sure I was here for you." James coughed out slightly as he felt the emotion of his own letter from before, inching back into his mind.
"I'll be right over here when you're done." His voice rang through her ears as she stared at the envelope in her hand. "Thank you, James." Was all she could muster as she turned from his side and moved back to her fathers. Her fingers shook as she fumbled with the seal, tearing away the excess parchment as best she could. From the first word, Lily struggled to read as her eyes welled with tears. She couldn't bring herself to read it. If she read this, then it was truly the end. If she read this, her best friend was forever gone. Lily felt her legs give way under her as she collapsed to the ground in tears. Choking back sobs as quietly as she could.
It wasn't long until the warmth of a pair of arms found their way around her shoulders, pulling her back to rest against them. "I can't do it!" She sobbed out as her hands shook before her. The soft shushing began to lull her as James pulled her into his chest, sliding the papers from her hands. "Do you want me to read it to you?" He whisper as she watched the paper shift to his hands. "But even if you do it, he'll still be… still be…" The tears began to spill out once more as she turned to hide her face in James' chest. "He'll never be gone, Lily. You know that with every magic trick you do, your Dad is right there with you, cheering you on." He chuckled into her hair. He couldn't tell if the shake to her shoulder was from crying or laughter, but he tightened his grip around her, holding her as close as he could.
"Read it… please." She whispered out without moving from her spot against his chest. "Of course." James nodded before resting his chin atop her head, unfolding the papers in his hand.
"Hey Red."
James started as he took in the familiar handwriting, feeling Lily sob lightly against him.
"I know this is one of the hardest things I have ever put you through. I'm so sorry for all of this! If I had any way to change it I would in a heartbeat! But I have specific instructions that this letter not come to you until after my funeral. Knowing James, he followed these directions perfectly."
James chuckled as he felt her shift to nudge him slightly. "Keep reading, you Prat." She laughed lightly before tapping the paper before them. "Sorry. Where was I?" James cleared his throat before scanning through the text again to find where he'd left off.
"I know we didn't get the Goodbye you wanted. No one ever wants to say goodbye. But in the almost Seventeen years we have shared together, I can honestly say that I am the luckiest man ever and I am so thankful that you are my daughter. I was never once worried about you! You've always been my tough girl! Whether it was the kids who tried to bully you, (I still can't see William Bartley without chuckling that his nose looks that way because of you.)"
James paused as Lily began to giggle against him. "What did you do to that kid's nose?" He whispered mischievously into her ear, noting the shiver that went through her as she shook against him. "I broke his nose because he made fun of my hair when I was nine. Never healed properly." He could hear the smugness in her voice as he looked back at the note. "Brutal with or without a wand. Damn Evans." He chuckled seeing her turn to glare up at him. "Keep reading or you'll see for yourself." She quipped as his crooked grin shone down at her. "Fine! Fine!" His grip around her shoulder tightening.
"You were always strong even with Petunia's stupid jealousy, or the fact that you are literally a Witch! My sweet girl, you had to adapt to an entirely new lifestyle! An entirely new world all on your own! I always knew you would be my brave and strong girl! Even now as you read this, you're probably being stubborn trying not to cry. My sweet Lily Flower! It is perfectly alright to cry! I know you hate it! But sometimes it just shows that Magic or not, we're all human and have emotions."
James could feel her shoulders begin to shake again against him.
"This unfortunately, is just part of life that you had to deal with early on unlike your friends. Don't let this change who you are, Red! Never stop being my strong, talented, Brainy little Witch! Ever! Our memories together will never fade from your mind as the years go on, and someday you are going to have a family of your very own! One you can tell all about their Grandpa and how even though he was a Muggle, he could do a few magic tricks himself!
But please always remember, Red. That just because I am no longer there for you, I will always be there for you in your heart and in your mind. Or if you somehow use your magic to bring me back as a ghost, that would be pretty perfect too! (I'm just kidding. I read all about ghosts and how they're created in your history books. But I think I'd still make a rather fun one, don't you?"
Lily began to giggle again as she pushed back to look at James. "Could you imagine if he ever met Peeves?" The pair began to laugh together as she cuddled back into his chest. "Nothing would ever get done at Hogwarts ever again if they were a team." She smiled thinking of her trouble maker of a father. "You ready for the last bit? It's almost over." James sighed as her laughter began to ease. "Ready as I'll ever be." Lily finally mumbled out as another tear rolled down her cheek once more.
"Please don't let this bring you down my sweet girl. Thank you for always being the best Daughter I could have ever asked for! It has been an absolute blessing and privilege to be your father all of these years! You truly are one of a kind! I love you, Red!
Keep making me proud so I can brag about you in the afterlife.
I love you. Forever and always.
Dad"
James choked out as he read the last words. He could feel the tears poking at the corners of his own eyes as he folded the papers closed once more. The pair sat curled up together in silence as they continued to look over Mark Evans' grave. It had been brought up for months as a possibility of happening, but now that they were here, James felt the pain in his own heart as well. Mark Evans was a great man, who was the father of one of the greatest Witches he ever knew, and the world was at a great loss without his bright smile and magic tricks.
"I don't remember having that engraved." Christine's voice broke the pair from their thoughts as she stepped up beside them. "It needed a touch of magic." James smiled up at Christine who had come to check on her daughter. "It's what Dad would have wanted." Lily spoke, causing Christine to jump. Her daughter had barely spoken in days to anyone but James. It was good to hear her voice again. "There is a small gathering at the house. James you're more than welcome to attend. Your mother said she would stop by later." Christine nodded before leaving the pair to return to the small group still gathered by the cars.
"You ready, Red?" He hadn't realized it until the words had already left his lips, but he wished he could have taken it back. Of all the nicknames he had for her and he chose Marks. Stupid James! Just plain stupid! He cursed in his mind. But a moment later, he felt her head lightly nod against him before she began to push herself up. Lily gave her legs another brushing off before reaching out her hand to him. "Ready as I'll ever be." Her smile was faint as she looked down at him. His hand quickly collapsed hers as he rose up from the ground as well. Surprised that her grip shifted to interlace her fingers with his own as he stood firmly on two feet.
"Thank you, James. For everything." She sighed before turning toward the few remaining cars, pulling him along with her as they moved to join her mother.