(Warning this chapter is a bit longer then the others, hopefully you won't be disappointed though!)
Chapter 36
I thought kissing Steve with a beard would feel a little weird but it wasn't, it felt nice and I loved running my fingers through his soft hair. As amazing as it felt to kiss him again this was all happening too fast, he had only come back into my life a few hours ago and I should still be mad at him...he left and was gone for almost 2 years without a word! I understand that he was only trying to protect me but it doesn't take away the past year feeling...so alone, heartbroken and betrayed.
"Wait Steve..." I breathe out as I pull his body away from mine, "this is all happening too fast." He exhales as I step away from him a little to create distance, "Okay...I understand." He says softly.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on..."
"No, don't be sorry..." He replies putting a piece of my hair behind my ear, damn he's making this hard!
"I understand why you left, really I do but...it's just..." I couldn't find my words, "...Steve, I just don't think this is going to work...and I'm not sure if it ever will...I need some time." It was very difficult to say, I tried to stay strong but a few tears started to run down my cheek.
"Iris, I get it...I really do...as long as your safe, that's all I care about..." He says with a smile that held sadness in them, it was like I was breaking his heart, he whipped my tears again.
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't be." He says softly, he rubs my arms to warm them, "You look freezing, I'll go outside and get some wood to make a fire." I shake my head.
After he steps outside I feel guilty but I have to be honest. As much as I want to be with him I don't know if I could ever fully trust him again and it's not fair to him or me if I stay with these feelings and thoughts in my head. It didn't help that after all this time he still had this strong pull over me, and it was scaring the hell out of me! So I did what I always do when things get to intense and real...I push him away. It broke my heart to see that look on his face as he tried to be understanding for me. As I am going through all these thoughts I hear a phone buzz, it was on the kitchen counter, it was Steve's...should I answer it? He never minded before but things were different now...I hesitate but do pick it up and answer it.
"Hello?" I answer hesitantly.
"Hello?" The voice asks back confusingly, "Is this Iris?"
"Yeah."
"It's Natasha."
"Oh, hi."
"Is Steve there?" She asks me, "Yeah but he's getting firewood from outside."
"Oh okay, yeah that place gets cold at night."
"You've been here?" I ask her.
"Yeah...the night we left we stayed there for a few days." She answered, "I was just calling to let him know that so far we're in the clear but just to be safe we'll keep our distance for a little bit longer." She tells me.
"Okay...Natasha, thanks for saving my life tonight."
"Your welcome...if it wasn't for Steve, we never would have found out you were in trouble."
"Yeah, he mentioned that." I say softly.
"I see you guys made up!" She said excitedly.
"Well...we talked and...I know why you guys had to leave but...I don't think it's going to work." I replied, I don't know why I was telling her all this, it's not like we were ever close but maybe I just needed to talk to someone.
"What do you mean?" She asked confused.
"It's just...he left and I went through the year and half thinking he abandoned me or was hurt...I can't just get over that...I just don't know if I could ever trust him again, he broke my heart" I explain softly, "I told him that I needed time and I wasn't sure about us being together."
Steve walks in with wood and starts to make the fire, "As difficult as it is to admit." I finish saying trying to be quiet looking at him.
"Iris...I know its none of my business but I think your being selfish." She says quite coldly.
"Excuse me?" I replied shocked trying to not get too upset so Steve doesn't hear, I wanted to tell her off!
"You are just thinking about yourself and what you went through. Do you have any idea what leaving you did to him? The second he left you he changed, he became dark and hardened. Sam and I had never seen him like that before. All he would do was find Hydra bases, put his life on the line when we did find a base and risked being captured at any moment. He never thought about himself he just thought about protecting you, he knew you wouldn't forgive him but it never stopped him. When he wasn't fighting Hydra he was down the basement punching his punching bags until his knuckles bled. The only time he smiled was the moment he saw your picture that Hill took not too long ago. Do you know the risk he is taking now but saving you tonight? Do you even realize why they were trying to capture him to begin with? They plan to brainwash him and turn him into a emotionless killing machine, like Bucky. He loves you...he never stopped." She ranted in one long sentence.
I was speechless, the whole time through her rant I couldn't speak, I just stood there looking at Steve leaning down making the fire, "Really?" Is all I could say.
"Yes! Iris, he was a broken man." She replied softly, I just couldn't stop looking at him, "Why do you think he stopped shaving and cutting his hair? He just didn't care, he just cared about getting back to you."
"Yeah...okay, I gotta go." I say quickly and hung up on her.
(Warning M Content!)
Something was happening to me that I couldn't control. After hearing all that Steve went through...I don't know...maybe Natasha snapped me out of my own selfpitty, "Okay, the cabin should start warming up in no time." He says softly, trying to stay upbeat, not showing being upset about our earlier conversation. He walked to the couch, "If it will make you feel more comfortable, I can sleep on the couch." I don't know why but that's all I needed, he grabbed a pillow and blanket that was already on the couch, starting to make a little bed for himself.
I didn't say a word, I just walked right up to him and I never hesitated or paused, I grabbed the stuff out of his hands throwing them on the ground and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him to me and kissed him with all the passion I could. He wasn't really kissing back, he was confused and shocked.
"Iris...Iris...I thought you said..." He starts to say as he's stopping me from kissing him.
"I know what I said...I was wrong." I breathed kissing his face, chin and back up to his lips.
"Iris...I think your just emotional and I don't..." He is trying to say, every time he tries to stop it just makes me want him more.
"Steve...please just kiss me."
He gives up and wraps his arms fully around me and kisses me back passionately. I run my fingers through his hair using my tongue to open his mouth, he accepted greatly. Our bodies were pressed together so tight. The kiss became so heated, he started kissing my chin and began kissing my neck while I continued to massage his scalp and raised my leg up over his hip a little trying everything I could to get even closer then I already was, I moan as I threw my head back giving him more access.
"I missed you so much." He breathed in my earlobe as he continued to kiss and nibble it, he put one hand on my upper thigh and massaged it and wrapped it around his hip helping me keep it up and he put his other hand in my pants rubbing and squeezing my ass, "Oh god I missed you too." I moaned. I almost forgot how amazing his mouth and hands were, they always drove me crazy. I was grinding on him as he kept lifting up my thigh higher in the air, I was on my tiptoes with the other leg. He takes his hand out of my pants puts it on my upper thigh lifting me up so my legs were completely around his waist and kept stroking my ass with both hands.
He started walking us to the bedroom but I couldn't and wouldn't stop kissing his neck and face so instead he sits me on the kitchen counter, my legs are still wrapped around him. I bring his mouth back to mine by using my teeth to pull on his lower lip, which makes him groan, I continue to massage and pull on his hair. He pulls up my shirt and I let him take it off. After he took it off he ran his hands down my front until he strokes my hips sensually. With one hand he starts rubbing one of my breasts as the other stays rubbing my hip. God, his hands felt so good! I am trying to take his suit off but it's hard without being able to see it very well, he starts to help me. I also take off the tight t-shirt underneath his suit and begin to kiss, rub and scratch his neck, shoulders and pecks. God I missed this body!
He takes my face in his hands and brings our lips back together as he shoves his tongue down my throat as he starts to take off my pants as I am trying to unbuckle his belt. He caresses my thighs as he starts to kiss my neck for a few minutes before he starts kissing down my body, he kisses and rubs each breast through my bra and keeps going lower. He drops to his knees, puts his hands behind my knees and shoves my body more towards him, my ass is more closer to the edge of the counter. He kisses with his tongue my upper inner thighs, I softly moan, wanting him to go higher. He suddenly moves my panties to the side and begins to eat me out by bringing his tongue in first, I begin to hold on to the edges of the countertop. He puts both my legs around his head as he is now able to go inside me more, he is still rubbing the back of my thighs. I arch my body and lean back a little so he can go in even deeper, the friction from his beard causes a whole new feeling that I have never felt. He doesn't let up, he just keeps licking, kissing, sucking and biting, I am moaning so loud.
He out of nowhere inserts 3 fingers in me, "Steve! Oh Fuck!" I shout. I need to pull on something, the countertops are not enough so I bring one of my arms up and pull on my own hair while the other pulled his hair. I arch my bottom half and am practically humping his face helping with pushing his face and fingers more in me. I suddenly feel his thumb, I cum hard! "Fuck me Steve! Fuck me!" I shout. He stands up quickly and is about to take me off the counter but I stop him.
"No now, I can't wait! I need you now!" I say quickly as I am trying to pull down his pants while he lifts me off the counter just enough to pull down my panties, I put my hand in his pants and start stroking him, kissing his neck, he moans loud. He pulls my knees to him even more and my ass is almost off the counter as he doesn't even bother waiting for his pants to be pulled all the way down and thrusts in me hard! My head goes back and he starts kissing my neck while he still thrusts. He rips off my bra and kisses down my neck and begins sucking my nipple while rubbing the other one. He is nibbling and flicking my nipple with his tongue,"Oh God!" I moan as I am scratching his chest, pecks and shoulders, pretty much anywhere I can. I know I am going to bruise from the counter but I don't care. While he is still sucking and rubbing my breasts he wraps one of his arms around me lifting me off the counter with my legs still around him. He starts walking but hasn't stopped kissing or rubbing my breasts, I keep running my fingers through his hair, trying to thrust in him but with not much luck because he had me up so high from sucking on my breast but I wasn't complaining, it felt amazing. It was always such a turn on when he showcased his superhuman strength when we had sex, I felt like I was light as a feather.
We didn't really know where we were going and I was desperate for him to be inside me again, I ran my hand down and stroked him and squeezed hard he groaned loud. He slammed me hard against the hallway wall and he was immediately inside me again, it actually really hurt due to the impact of hitting the wall but I didn't care, it just turned me on more! We were going so fast, his hands were on my ass while mine were scratching up and down his back. He suddenly put my feet on the floor and I thought for a second he was going to stop, I was about to say something until he hooked his hand behind one of my thighs lifting it in the air and immediately put it around his hip and thrusted in me again, it caused him to get into a new position inside me. He would lift my leg higher and higher, every time he brought my leg up he would go in deeper that caused me to moan louder and louder. He started rubbing my ass again and he began to put his fingertips inside me from behind, it was a tease, that bastard! "Oh God!" I moaned loud hugging his body to mine, we were rubbing our bodies together so tight as he continued to tease and pleasure me, we were just pounding on the wall hard. I bit and clawed on his shoulder/back, I heard him moan loudly.
We finally went into the bedroom. I decided I would play a little tease and I got off him, "Stay right there." I breathed as I licked his lips while I ran my finger down his bottom lip. I wouldn't let him kiss me and walked slowly to the bed making him stay there as I swayed my hips. I would look back at him every once in a while, his eyes were filled with lust, I loved teasing him! I bent over VERY slowly and started to crawl on the bed on all fours VERY slowly while my back was to him, I spread my legs wider arching my back. I suddenly felt two hands on my shoulders forcing me to go on my knees, "Hey...I wasn't..." I tried to say because I wasn't done with my teasing but he stopped me by turning my face quickly and kissing me immediately, bringing his tongue deep in my mouth sucking on my bottom lip, that shut me up real quick! I brought my arm up behind me and caressed the back of his neck.
While still kissing me he brings his arms around me and caresses both of my breasts, he's squeezing them hard and it feels amazing! I continued to moan in his mouth and while he was pleasuring my breasts he takes one of his hands and slowly runs it down my body but then real quickly spreads my legs wider and puts his whole fucking hand in me! He then starts to fuck me from behind really hard. The sounds I was making changed from moans to full fledged shouts, thank god we were in the middle of nowhere! I still had my hand behind his neck and began pulling on his hair while I put my other hand over his, helping him pleasure me. Every time I pulled on his hair he would thrust deeper and squeeze my breasts harder which made me pull him harder and all while riding his hand as fast as I could, I'm grinding my ass on his manhood by arching my back. Thank god I am flexible! I go on all fours and am able to grind my backside more by using my hands to push with, he pulls on my hair, "Oh Fuck!" He shouts loudly as he strokes my hips and lower back which helps him fuck me faster, I throw my head back with my mouth wide open enjoying every minute of it!
I needed to take charge and not let him call all the shots, I sat up quickly while he still was thrusting and pushed him on his back forcing him to lay down and I sat on him, we never lost our momentum as I ride him hard, he was still facing my back. He rubbed and caressed my back and hips helping me ride him. With this position I could see all of him that I never did before, I licked my lips. I pulled out of him and went back a little bit and started to lick and suck on his shaft, I could hear him groaning behind me, he kept rubbing my ass and back. "Oh God!" He shouted. After a minute or two he put both hands around my thighs, pulled me back even more, at first I didn't know what he was doing until I feel him start to lick and suck on me. Was he trying to challenge me? Okay, two can play this game! I go back to sucking on him, we're silently competing. I begin to use my hand while also caressing his amazingly large thigh with the other hand. We are both trying to hold in our moans and I thought I was winning until he started doing something with his tongue that I can't even describe and he also brings his fingers in me from behind too. I have no choice but to shout and declare him victory. He was pleasuring me so much that I couldn't continue what I was doing, I sit up and hump his face while he is still under me eating me out. I'm throwing my head back shouting so loud while I have both arms up pulling on my own hair, I am humping his face so fast! "Turn around and get over here so I can fuck you properly!" He demanded with authority. Oh God that was hot!
I didn't even hesitate I turn around, grab his shaft, stroked it a few times before I sit directly on it putting it in me myself and begin to ride him hard! He reached for my breasts, squeezing my nipples so hard as my breasts are bouncing up and down. I bring my body down, he puts both hands on the back of my head through my hair while still riding him I kiss and rub his pecks, I start biting and sucking on his nipples hard, "Oh God!" He shouts. With no struggle and not losing our pace for one second he flips us over so he goes on top of me and he goes even deeper in me, my knees are so spread that I'm practically doing the splits,"Oh God yes, that's it! Harder! Deeper!" I practically yelled, "Is that all you got? Come on, show me what you got!" I challenge with authority, "Fuck me Steve! Fuck me harder! Harder! Faster!" I yell very loudly as I am clawing his shoulders leaving marks. He went onto his knees bringing my bottom half with him and started to go so hard, so fast and so deep that my hips and ass were completely off the mattress, he was holding my hips and ass in the air. My head keeps hitting the headboard hard but who cares! I hold on to the headboard using it to push myself to match his thrusts and I suddenly cum hard and I feel him cum with me. He lets me go and we both just go limp and he lays on me. He's still in me as we hold each other breathless and even though we are exhausted we keep giving little kisses to our shoulders, face...pretty much anywhere we can for the next few minutes until we fall asleep.
Were you worried there for a moment? She's going to have to thank Natasha for giving her some tough love! And they needed to let that out, making up for lost time!