Chapter 37

Due to the sleeping medication Steve had slept well and as promised without any kind of dreaming.

He felt better than he ever had since being admitted to the hospital, but that was just short-lived, because after his session with Connor he was exhausted again and needed another nap.

When he woke up again Esther was on her way in with lunch.

"Any results yet?" he asked her?

"No, but as soon as the lab brings them up, Dr. Lexington will discuss them with you. Meanwhile you can eat your lunch. It smells and looks really good today. Just imagine the missing salt and I am sure you can enjoy it. If you can finish it, I will bring you a second fruit bowl for dessert."

Steve finished most of it, but he got the fruit anyway.

A few minutes later Danny returned from his little "coffee-malasadas-get-together" with Samantha and his own lunch. He had had a great time and looked really happy when he entered Steve's room.

"Hey buddy, how was PT?"

"Exhausting, but I had a nap afterwards, so I am good. How was your date?"

Danny didn't bother to correct him. He loved being with Samantha and sometimes really thought about it as a date himself.

He smiled "it was good and we'll meet for lunch tomorrow instead of a coffee so I'll be away bit longer. Do you want me to call Chin or Kono to come here?"

"No, Danny. I don't need someone around 24/7. I mean don't get me wrong, I love having you here and I appreciate it, but I can do alone for a few hours. No big deal. Speaking of alone, I'd like to talk to you about a few things."

"Sure, what's up?"

"It looks like the sleeping meds are working. That means I will sleep for about eight hours. How…how about you go home at night? Sleep in your own bed?"

"You want to get rid of me, after all?"

"No, Danny. I just think you should take care of yourself again. Your own bed, your own shower, your home. Don't you miss that?"

"Yeah, a bit. But I think I'll stay as long as they let me. I might get back to that though when Grace is here again. What's next?"

Steve took a deep breath, looked at his friend and said "About the therapy…the psychologist. I…I don't…don't want to do that. I know you are disappointed about that, but I…I just can't do it. I am sorry Danny."

"It's fine Steve. You don't have to apologize. I totally understand your reasons and I am not disappointed. I had just hoped that it would help, but there is no reason to do that if it puts that kind of stress on you."

Steve nodded "I know what you had hoped. And I totally understand your reasons. But…I am already stressed out while thinking about it. It's…I…I…just can't I am sorry Danny. Really…If you want to go it is okay. I'll understand that too."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because…because I am putting stress on you. And instead of trying to make it better I make it worse. I just destroyed your hopes and now…now…"

"That is not true. You hear me?"

"Yes...Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because you are my best friend and my partner and I love you. And Grace loves you. And we care about you. A lot of people do.

You once told me that I was not alone as I thought. The same goes for you."

Steve got a little teary-eyed and said "Thanks Danno. But this here goes beyond everything. You are making too much sacrifices. I can't let that happen."

"It already did happen. And I am not making sacrifices. I..."

"Grace?"

"What about her?"

"You don't see her much. Now she is even gone…"

"Yeah, for two weeks. And I've seen her much more these last weeks than usual. Because she wanted to be here too. And I've asked you before: If the situations were reversed – where would you be?"

"That is different."

"How is that any different!? Because you are the guardian and protector and we are not?!"

"No, because I don't have family and a kid to take care of."

"Right, you don't have a kid. But you have a family – it is just not by blood. It was built by friendship, loyalty and trust."