Thank you all so much for the reviews on my last chapter. I love hearing your thoughts on this story. I'm sorry for the slip up with the mention of £ rather than $ when I mentioned the Wallace story and for the grammatical errors. I probably post too quickly and should take more time to double check things, so you are very kind and understanding. I hope you like it.
One guest review raised two points in the TV show that bugged her. I wasn't able to address the first one, but I did cover the second one.
Callie dashed back into the pharmacy and picked something up she needed for her plan before she started heading home. Her heart was going like crazy as she practiced what she would say to Arizona, how she would ask her to marry. Callie thought back to the day Arizona had proposed to her, how they had been arguing about Mark and Arizona had said she had needed more had wanted commitment.
A part of Callie considered waiting for another time, getting a proper ring, taking Arizona somewhere fancy and proposing, but it just felt the right time. In the same way that Arizona had just asked her out the blue when she had realised what she wanted, Callie didn't want to wait. Only hopefully this time the proposal wouldn't be followed by a car crash.
Once back in the house Callie found Arizona in the kitchen making Sofia's breakfast.
The two exchanged a silent look that meant the tests had been purchased and after their daughter had eaten her breakfast she was as a one off, allowed to watch her I-pad on the sofa for 30 mins before she had to get ready for school.
Once they were convinced Sofia was settled they ran upstairs and closed the bedroom door.
"Are you OK?" Callie asked nervously "I got four tests to be sure" she said tipping them out onto the bed.
"I'm super nervous" Arizona admitted
"Me too" Callie responded her mind racing as she took a deep breath "Arizona, before we do the test, there is something I want to say to you." Callie said seriously as she took Arizona's hand and sat next to her on the edge of the bed.
Arizona looked puzzled.
Callie started speaking "I just want you to know that, whatever happens next, with the test, that I love you so very much..."
"I love you too sweet" Arizona said happily interrupting the brunette
"I'm not finished..." Callie said in a serious tone "I need you to know how much you mean to me before you take the test, so that you understand my motives?" Callie said at a now slightly confused looking Arizona
"Babe I'm not following" Arizona said
"I love you Arizona Robbins and you make me so very, very happy and I feel that things are all coming together for us, and well, there is something I need to ask."
"Oooo-kay?" Arizona responded unsure what was going on, what was so urgent that it couldn't wait until after they had done the tests.
Callie swallowed the lump in her throat and stood up facing the blonde, before kneeling down on one knee and pulling out a haribo jelly ring
"Arizona Robbins...will you marry me...again?"' Callie said as her eyes searched Arizona's face for a response.
Arizona's jaw dropped open in shock as she took in the sight and Callie's words.
"What?" She responded still stunned
"Marry me Arizona."' Callie repeated "I want to go to sleep next to you every night, and wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life...and I know we can technically do that without getting married... but I realised just now that don't want to call you my girlfriend anymore. You are and always have been more to me. I want you to be my wife and I so want to be your wife again, and I want us to grow old together. We….we just belong together. So will you marry me?" Callie said as she looked up at the blond face staring down at her in shock.
Arizona's mouth slowly started to turn into a smile "Yes Calliope!" she said excitedly "YES a hundred times I'll marry you!" She repeated beaming at the brunette before pulling her up off her knee and back onto the bed where she could kiss her properly.
"Really?" Callie said in slight shock at the answer in between kisses
"Oh course really! Arizona laughed as she stuck out her hand and nodded to the jelly ring and then her finger.
Callie beamed with excitement as she slipped the sweet onto Arizona's slender finger. "I'll umm sort something proper out soon" she laughed
"It's perfect!" Arizona said and she lent in and kissed Callie "and I love you and I really appreciate you asking me before I took the test. I know why you wanted to do that".
"God I love you so much, and I just needed to get it out there that I want to marry you so fucking much regardless of the test results."
Callie said as she lent back in for another kiss "you ready babe?" Callie asked expectantly.
"As ready as I'll ever be!" Arizona responded as she picked up the bag of tests from the bed and headed into the en-suite.
"Call me when you're finished" Callie said as she watched the door close and found herself nervously pacing around the bedroom whilst she waited for Arizona to pee.
"Finished." Arizona yelled and Callie dashed to join the blonde in the bathroom and looked at the 4 four tests laid out in a row on the sink.
"OK, so what do we want to see?" Callie asked nervously "two lines right?" She said nervously.
"Uh huh" Arizona said nodding "Fuck Cal I'm so nervous".
"Me too! But we've got this. Whatever the result." Callie lent down and kissed the blonde.
After the longest five minutes ever Arizona's eyes blinked as she noticed a change in one of the test.
She grabbed Callie's arm "Callie look!" She said pointing at the two lines that had appeared on the tiny display screen.
"Holy Crap!" Callie said turning to look at the blonde.
"Why are the others taking so long!" Arizona complained when just then one of the other screens flashed into life and two lines appeared.
"Shiiiit!" Arizona yelled as she picked up the third test and showed Callie the display "I'm pregnant!" She said beaming at the brunette.
"You're pregnant" Callie said wrapping the blonde in an embrace "We're having a baby" Callie whispered happily in Arizona's ear.
—-
A few days had passed since the proposal and positive pregnancy test, and after the initial excitement Callie had noticed a change in Arizona who hadn't been her normal happy self, she seemed withdrawn. The blonde had put it down to long days at work and a lack of sleep, but Callie wasn't fooled. She was worried that maybe the blonde had had second thoughts about marriage or worse, the baby. After a week the brunette had decided she needed challenge Arizona on her behaviour.
"Arizona we need to talk" Callie had said one evening. She had waited until the weekend so Arizona couldn't use work as an excuse to not talk.
"Really?" Arizona had complained, can we not just watch TV and relax?" Arizona had pleaded as she flicked through the channels.
"No. This is important." Callie said taking the remote, turning the TV off and facing the blonde.
"I need you to tell me what's going on, and please don't say you are tired, it's more than that. I need to know so I can fix it, or at least try." Callie said seriously.
Arizona looked over at Callie and saw the concern and closed her eyes, took a deep breath before admitting to how she was feeling.
"I'm scared Callie. I'm so fucking scared" the blonde admitted with a shaky voice as she felt tears start to form in her eyes
"About the baby?" Callie asked softly
"About the baby, about us, about everything really. I'm so scared after last time." Arizona wiped a tear away that had escaped and took another deep breath. "I know I've been acting weird this past week, I'm sorry, it's just that everything is so good that I think..." Arizona stopped herself unable to say it out loud.
Callie looked at Arizona said it for her "You think because it's us...that something bad is going to happen? Callie said and held the blondes gaze and saw how scared she was.
Arizona nodded slowly. "I can't stop thinking it's all going to go bad Cal...I've tried and I can't do it...and I don't know what to do." Arizona said as she started crying.
Callie quickly pulled the blonde into her arms "Don't. Please don't." Callie said as she smoothed Arizona's hair.
"I'm sorry...I know I should be happy, and I am...honestly I am...but..." Arizona said in between sobs
"You're scared. I get it. It makes sense." Callie said in a reassuring voice and she pulled apart and looked at Arizona. It broke her heart to see her like this and Callie would do anything to make her feel better.
"Would it help if you had a session with Dr Dawson? Or maybe we should have a joint one?" Callie suggested thinking that a structure conversation would help bring any fears to the surface.
"Maybe." Arizona said thoughtfully although the last time they had been together with Dr Dawson, the brunette had ended their marriage.
"Look, I want to do all I can to help, to make you feel less scared, and if that involves us sitting down with a therapist, then what are we waiting for?" Callie said supportively "we've come really far in a pretty short time, so maybe it would be a good time to get some help checking in with each other and just talk through how we are feeling".
"I think that would be really helpful." Arizona admitted as she wiped her tear-stained cheeks with the back of her jumper. "Thank you Callie. Thank you for not getting mad or judging me..."
"Babe...why would I judge you?" Callie said pulling the blonde in for a hug "I understand why you are scared, but I'm here for you. So next time, talk to me OK?"
"OK. I'll try. I'll umm email Dr Dawson tomorrow and she when she can fit us in." Arizona looked at Callie "I love you and I can't wait to be married to you ..."
"Again!" They both said at the exact same time smiling softly at each other.
"Only this time it's for life." Callie said and she pulled Arizona in tight for another hug.
—-
A few days later and Callie and Arizona were positioned on the sofa talking to Dr Dawson via Zoom.
"Well hello New York!" Dr Dawson said with a warm smile "Callie...it's good to see you again." The therapist said.
"You too Dr Dawson, thanks for fitting us in at such short notice." Callie replied with a smile.
"Not a problem" the older woman responded before address the blonde. "Arizona, I understand from your email that you're expecting. Congratulations to you both."
"Thank you" Arizona said softly. "It's ummm, it's very early days." They hadn't told anyone yet about the pregnancy, given Arizona's anxiety, it needed to be shared up front from Dr Dawson.
"Of course. I understand that it has generated a whole range of emotions and feelings, that are making you feel a little overwhelmed?"
Arizona nodded "I'm struggling to deal with it if I'm honest. Things have been going so well since I moved to New York, and well, actually we've decided to get married again..." Arizona informed the therapist.
"Oh wow! Well that is exciting news. So, with all this happy news, let's try and see what's causing your anxiety Arizona."
Dr Dawson turned and looked at Callie "it's good that you are here Callie, but I would ask that at the start if we can let Arizona talk."
"Of course" Callie said as she grabbed Arizona hand and gave it a supportive squeeze. Callie remembered their last sessions together and how Arizona had accused her of never letting her speak. They had moved on a lot from then, but this was obviously the first time the therapist had seen Callie in a few years.
"So, where shall we start Arizona? Do you want to maybe give me a quick over view of how things have been going since our last session. The fact that Callie is here with you, and that you are getting married and having a baby certainly indicates things are good"
"Oh they are." Arizona responded smiling at Callie "They are really good. Sofia is happy, and the woman's centre is going well, we're going really well. We didn't rush it, we took our time." Arizona looked over at Callie and the pair exchanged a loving look.
Arizona turned back to address the therapist "You know I've always been in love with Callie, you know I hoped that moving to New York would mean we maybe got another chance, but I never imagined it would be this good." Arizona paused "and I...I think that's the problem...I'm scared because it IS so good...and I'm frightened of something bad happening." The blonde admitted as a lump formed in her throat.
"Well that's a really good place to start Arizona, and given your history, it's not unsurprising" Dr Dawson flicked back over her notes and addressed the couple.
"You two have experienced more heartache and pain in a few years that most people have in a lifetime. From what I know of you, your journey to date has been anything but smooth we've had near death car & plane crashes, loss of a limb, depression, infidelity, custody battle and a divorce. And yet..." Dr Dawson said smiling at the couple of the screen "here you are looking stronger than ever."
Arizona felt Callie squeeze her hand. Hearing someone else list all that they had been through brought tears to her eyes and she reached to the coffee table and took a sip of water to try and compose herself.
"What does that say about you both?" The therapist asked the couple.
Callie looked at Arizona who answered the question "that we're resilient."
"Yes, but more than that." Dr Dawson replied
Callie cleared her throat "May I?" She asked Arizona
"Of course" the blonde smiled softly
"To me it shows the deep level of our love for each other. We have been through some truly awful situations and at times, have caused each other a huge amount of pain, but despite all of that, despite all the tears and heartache, we are here now and I'm so happy that we are."
"Me too!" Arizona said quickly looking at Callie "I'm so pleased we are together and I can't wait to marry you, I just can't shake this feeling."
"OK Arizona...let's pick up on that...you say you can't shake a feeling, can you be more specific?"
Arizona took a few moments to compose herself "I'm worried I'm going to lose the baby again."
Callie looked over at Arizona and felt tears start to form in her eyes at the confession.
"I'm not going to sit here and tell two doctors about the probabilities of a pregnancy not going to full term, but I am going to tell you that those feelings are natural. All women feel that way, and especially those who have suffered from a previous miscarriage." The Dr said softly.
Arizona nodded her head slowly before speaking "I know that, and I feel silly for saying it out loud, that's why I didn't say something sooner" the blonde said as she looked at Callie apologetically.
Arizona took a deep breath before continuing "Last time we were using a baby to paper over so many cracks in our relationship, I think we can both admit that now, and I'm not saying we wouldn't have loved that baby if I hadn't had a miscarriage, but we...I wasn't ready."
"Do you feel ready now?" Callie asked with concern, before apologising to Dr Dawson for asking the question.
"Don't apologise Callie, it's a good question. Do you Arizona?" The therapist asked the blonde.
"I am. 100%" the blonde answered firmly
"But?" The therapist pushed.
Arizona blew out her cheeks and closed her eyes "it's just taken me back to that time in our relationship and I don't think I ever really addressed how much the miscarriage affected me back then. There was so much going on in our lives that I didn't feel I had the time, or...and I know this isn't nice for Callie to hear, but I didn't feel I had the right…to grieve or process the loss."
Dr Dawson watched the brunette on her screen react to Arizona's words "how does hearing that make you feel Callie?"
The brunette brushed away a tear that had escaped from her eye and cleared her throat "ummm...it makes me feel pretty shitty if I'm honest, but I understand it."
"Go on" Dr Dawson encouraged the brunette to explain.
"Arizona was right, our relationship was still in the recovery stages and I...well I didn't support her very well. I ummm I missed the first scan when they realised there was no heartbeat, and I, I got cross when she said she didn't want to try again."
Callie wiped another tear from her cheek and turned to look at Arizona "I am so sorry Arizona that I wasn't there for you in the way you needed me. I'm sorry I put work over us when you were suffering another loss."
Dr Dawson spoke "Is loss still a major concern for you Arizona?"
"No. Not it the same way it used to be. Sure I still get annoyed occasionally when my limb aches or I can't do things how I used to, but the loss of the limb saved my life, and I love my life."
"But you're still scared of things going wrong."
Arizona nodded looking at Callie.
"OK so Callie you were the one who called quits on your marriage the last time, tell me, but in turn, Arizona, how things are different now?"
Callie took a deep breath "God where to start! Umm well we listen to each other. I know I had a habit of jumping to conclusions and so we worked really hard to be more open. I've also had to learn to trust more. I think it was a huge problem first time round, but we've been able to come to this relationship and start a fresh."
"Do you agree Arizona?" Dr Dawson asked
"Absolutely! And I'm sorry for bringing up the miscarriage Callie...I think being pregnant again just made all these emotions resurface." Arizona felt bad for upsetting Callie by bringing up the past.
"It's OK baby...I understand." Callie saw tears forming in Arizona's eyes "you know things would be different this time don't you? You know you mean the world to me?" Callie asked seriously.
"I know. Me too. I'm different too" Arizona said leaning over and planting a small kiss on the brunette's cheek.
"Arizona, what else is different this time round?" Dr Dawson asked
Arizona smiled as she addressed the screen "I don't know, I guess we just appreciate everything so much more. We are here because we want to be, we take nothing for granted and we feel lucky to have been given this chance."
"But it isn't luck is it?" The therapist said pausing for the couple to reflect on what she had said. "You being here now, three years after Callie walked out of my room, it's not down to luck...it's down to a undeniable love for each other and a desire on both parts to make it work."
The therapist smiled at the couple "You have an incredibly strong bond and Arizona, it is 100% natural for you to have worries and fears about the future, but look at where you are now, look at what you've come through and try take each day as it comes. You have the benefit of having experienced so much together that you have been able to learn and build on those past experiences, good and bad, and you have the knowledge to do things differently."
"Callie, Arizona…" the Dr said address the couple together ".. you both know nothing is certain in life and there is no guarantee that things will go as you plan, but I can guarantee you this...if you carry on talking, trusting, listening, supporting and loving each other then you will get through whatever comes your way."
YAY - happy news. I'd love to know what you thought about it.
Thought I'd share some back ground as to my thought process with this chapter.
I think I've read about 20 Calzona Fanfics since I discovered GA. There are hundreds out there and I think if I'd had read more I would have felt like I was copying another authors ideas. There were so many stories that picked up what happened at the end of season 14 when Arizona moved to New York, I worried how I would make this one seem of interest given that I was writing about a storyline that had finished years ago.
When I had the idea for this story last year I liked the idea of them both going to therapy as a way of being able to address some of the storylines in the show (obviously heavily influenced with my POV, which some readers have and haven't agreed with).
Things have been going really well for the couple recently and fear not, I've listened and I'm not throwing in any drama here, but I thought it would be interesting to have them attend a couples therapy session.
I can't wait to write the next few chapters and give our pair the happy ending they deserved in the show.
Take care and stay safe. S x