Azula was alone in the Agni Kai room, and had warned the guards not to disturb her. She needed to stay away from everyone else for a moment. She needed to think about her plan again, making sure she wasn't forgetting any detail that might put her brother in danger. But above all else, she just needed to breathe.
Zuko's sorrow at her determination to go back to battle had affected her much more than she wanted to admit. And so had her nightmare.
Many times before, the princess had seen that exact scene playing out in her head. The palace being attacked and going up in flames, warriors from both sides screaming and attacking each other with all their power. The details were always hazy, but it all felt so real she could almost feel the heat surrounding and consuming her. The one thing that was perfectly clear was the vision Azula wished she could forget: Her brother lying on the ground, mortally wounded. Sometimes the killer was their father or one of the men who had supported him, other times it was a complete stranger, but the result was always the same.
"I won't let it happen" Azula promised herself.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to keep herself as calm as possible before she started firebending. She was so used to doing it that she barely had to think before making any move, and the exercise helped her forget the turmoil. Her blue flames went from small and graceful to immense and powerful. The sight was almost hypnotic to her.
But it wouldn't be enough to allow her to distract herself from the ache in her heart. Zuko had looked so defeated by her refusal to let go of her old habits. But he had to remember who she was - she had been raised to be a warrior, a conqueror, a bender that was far greater and much more dangerous than all others. She couldn't just turn away from a threat to her nation, to her family, to the man she loved.
You're hurting him, the words echoed in her mind again, you're being selfish, and your brother will pay the price.
She was failing him. She would be his downfall.
No. She couldn't think like that. She had to do this - she had just convinced Zuko of it too. She had to by his side in battle. She had to protect him.
You're hurting him.
"I don't have a choice" Azula snapped, and immediately reprimanded herself. She shouldn't be paying attention to these voices, let alone arguing with them.
As it always did, her father's voice mocked her at the worst possible moment.
You're just the warrior you brother deserves to have by his side. A demented fool who will get herself killed by a real enemy because she was distracted fighting an imaginary one. If Zuko's lucky, he'll die before he gets to see you humiliating yourself.
Azula fought the urge to cover her ears with her hands. He wasn't there, he wasn't real, he didn't know what he was talking about. After this was all over, she would make sure no one even remembered his name. He wasn't important, and neither were all the voices she had heard a million times. She wouldn't let anything distract her from the only thing that mattered: her brother.
It wouldn't be easy, but nothing in their lives had ever been. And as usual, sacrifices would have to be made. Their mother had put her life on the line when she killed Azulon to protect Zuko. Their uncle left behind everything he had in life to join Zuko in exile, and managed to save him from Ozai. His subjects, his friends, and his allies were now preparing to go to war once again just to protect him. Azula had turned her back on him time after time, choosing to waste her life fighting for the wrong Fire Lord, and this was her chance to make things right.
I don't have the right to turn my back on him now.