A/N: Hi everyone! Just wanted to reiterate for the umpteenth time that this story is not meant to be a reflection of the real lives or culture of the Quileute Tribe. This chapter contains ample evidence of my sheer lack of research abilities, so if you are curious, please do your own research! Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I appreciate you all!

"Face it man," Paul said, smirking. "You're in love with a ghost." I socked him in the arm. "Ow! What the fuck man!? I'm just stating the obvious."

"Cool it guys," Sam said. "Can you handle this or not?"

"Give me some credit," Paul said.

At the same time, I said, "it's not me you should be worried about." Sam rolled his eyes, but turned and walked into the little convenience store anyway. Paul and I followed.

Paul's comment wouldn't have bothered me so much if it wasn't a little true. Three weeks ago, my life had turned upside down. Honestly, I hadn't really wanted what Sam had. I saw the way he was with Emily, and although part of me envied his connection and his certainty, I never thought that path was for me. Then I saw Kim's face across a bonfire and every other path fell away.

It took her awhile to notice me. She was surrounded by kids from Forks, but didn't speak to them. On the surface she looked at ease, only one trembling finger on her can of beer indicating otherwise. Her friend whispered something to her. Even from the other side of the fire, I could hear.

"Kim. That guy over there is totally staring at you." Before I could even register that well enough to look away, she stood and made her way over through the crowd. My heart pounded. This is it, I thought. Then she shouted someone else's name.

"Quil!" I sank into bitter relief as she talked to Quil and his friends, freshman who avoided me like the plague after I'd joined the pack. She hadn't even seen me. I listened to their conversation. Kim was new in town. That's why I hadn't seen her before. She led Quil and his friends to the other side of the fire. I watched as she warmly introduced them to her friends. Did she know the effect she had on people? How she could move in and out of focus so easily?

"You ok, man?" Paul asked me. I barely heard him. I tuned everything out, focused only on her conversations. Her friend pointed me out again. I couldn't look away. I couldn't breathe when our eyes met. It wasn't until her eyes narrowed that I realized what it would look like from her perspective, and forced myself to look away. Sam shook my shoulder.

"Jared?" I couldn't answer.

"Quil," she hissed. "Who's the spooky guy?" My heart sank. I was scaring her. That broke the spell, even if only by a fraction. Quil started to tell her about how I was involved in what most of the town thought was a gang. I got up and walked away. I didn't want to scare her and I didn't think I could string a sentence together. My stomach felt tight and my head spun.

After Sam spread the word that I had imprinted, some of the adults offered to help. Old man Quil seemed particularly excited at the prospect of setting me up with his granddaughter. He said it broke his heart when Laina left and if her daughter would put down roots here, maybe she would stay. He hatched a plan to get us together at dinner, which was very exciting, but also made me very nervous.

"Won't it be weird if I'm the only one there who isn't in the family?" I asked.

"Course not," old man Quil said. "You're a family friend. And a future grandson-in-law." He winked.

I cringed. "Maybe don't tell her that though."

Sam coached me on acting casual around an imprint. Paul offered his own colorful advice, which I obviously ignored. During dinner, I fought to seem outwardly normal, while I fell apart inside. I felt more comfortable as dinner wore on. Kim didn't seem nervous at all. Maybe I'd imagined that she was scared at the bonfire. She invited me to hang out with her friends. I followed her in a daze of giddy hope. But then her friend opened the door, and I overheard her whisper, "you brought Spooky Jared!?" And what little confidence I had went up in smoke.

I hadn't seen her since then. Nineteen days. I was slipping. I could feel it. I phased without warning. I couldn't sleep. Sam was sympathetic. Paul was too, but he was mostly tired of being a captive audience to my one track mind. They both tried to come up with plans to help me get close to her. Sam thought I should just ask old man Quil for her number and call her. I was usually confident talking to girls, but this was different. It was easy to ask a girl out if you didn't care whether she said yes or no. You could just ask another girl. But there was only one Kim.

The bell chimed when we walked into the store. "Hey boys!"

"Hi Sue."

"Why so glum, Jared?" Sue asked.

"He's heartsick, ma'am," Paul said, playacting sympathy. I groaned. Paul never called anyone ma'am. Why was this so fun for him?

"Heartsick?" Sue asked. I didn't answer. Honestly I didn't want to talk about it with anyone, but I didn't get to choose what I shared with Sam and Paul.

"He imprinted," Sam explained.

"What?" Sue asked. "On who?"

"Kim Conweller."

"I'm not sure I know her."

"She's Laina Ateara's daughter."

"Really!? Laina's back in town?"

"She moved to Forks last month."

"Oh, it must be fate then," Sue said. "Jared, you must be thrilled." I shrugged.

Sam lowered his voice out of habit. He knew I would hear him regardless. "He would be thrilled if he got to spend any time with her but… she's kind of hard to pin down."

"Oh no." Sue's face melted with sympathy. "He hasn't been able to find time alone with her?"

"Or any time at all."

I tried to tune them out. It looked like Paul had the same idea. He picked up a magazine and started flipping through it. I read over his shoulder. Then the bell chimed again. I looked up.

It felt surreal to see Kim in real life after she'd spent the past two weeks only haunting my mind, but I could tell she was real as she strode into the store in ratty sneakers, cutoff jean shorts, and a muscle shirt that said 'Sun's Out, Guns Out.' I shook my head. At the bonfire she wore a ripped flannel over a pink shirt with 'Sasshole' bedazzled on the front. At dinner with her family she wore a sundress, as if the thought of being too predictable was boring to her. She threw her long dark hair over her shoulder as she walked by us. My heart sped and twisted. We were the only other people in the store and she didn't even glance at any of us. It almost hurt for her to be so close and still so far. She walked up to the counter.

"Pack of smokes, please." Kim's voice sounded too light and cheery to match her wardrobe or her demeanor.

"You eighteen?" Sue asked. Sam shook his head at her even though Sue wasn't looking at us. I was still frozen. "You wanna show me your ID?"

Kim seemed unbothered by the setback. "Oh that won't help. I'm sixteen."

"Oh, then you can't buy these."

"Fine." She huffed a sigh and placed a tupperware of worms on the counter. "I'll take this please."

"You going fishing?" Sue asked. I shook my head, marveling out how she navigated through life. Can't smoke? Fine. Go fishing.

"In a way." Kim smiled and paid. "Thanks Sue!"

"Tell your mom I said hi."

Kim ignored us on the way out too. She stepped out the door, bell chiming as she left. I'd said nothing. Why didn't I say something? What could I have said? 'Remember that time I crashed your family dinner?' Or 'I heard you and your friends call me Spooky Jared. That's nice.' My stomach ached at the thought of going on like this. Catching glimpses of her around town, maybe a couple times a month, but never being seen. Thinking of her always, but never being thought of.

"Here," Sue said. I looked up. She held out a carton of cigarettes and winked. "On me." I took it from her. Sue tipped her head to the front window where Kim was climbing into her car. "Go get her." For the first time since I saw her across the fire, I felt hope for an alternative to catching glimpses of her from a distance, only to watch her slip away.

When I woke up everything was soft and light. My arm curled around the body lying next to mine, and I instinctively pulled closer. Then I registered her scent, the curve of her waist and hip, the texture of her skin. Before I could turn to look at her, she sat up and looked in my eyes. My breath caught, stopped, started, sped.

"Kim?" I croaked.

"Jared." She touched my face. My cheek grew hotter under her fingers, even though her fingers were frigid. "How are you feeling?"

I looked at her, trying to piece together fragments through the fog in my brain. "Is this heaven?" I asked. She smiled.

"This is Emily and Sam's house," she said. "But I think they'd be flattered to hear you say that."

I looked around at the room, registering the details for the first time, recognizing the yellow drapes and the patterned sheets. "Oh," I said. Then I shuddered, a trickle of fear rolling down my spine as memories of the fire, the fight, being broken flooded back, but there was no pain.

"What's wrong? What hurts?" She pulled the sheet back, eyes roaming up and down my body. My face heated. I was naked and not looking my best. I'd lost weight. We all had.

"Nothing hurts," I said. I tugged at the sheets and she gave them back to me but her concerned expression didn't fade. I stared at her. I could breathe fine now, but it felt like my throat was tightening. "Are you real?" I finally asked, as tears welled in my eyes. "Are you real?"

She started to cry too, but she nodded. "Yeah, I'm real." She reached out to touch my face again and I pulled away.

"I just… I would dream of you all the time. I-I'm not ready to wake up yet. Please."

She sniffed and her face crumpled. "You're not dreaming, Jared. I'm real. I'm really here." She swiped at her tears before she took my hand and held in both of hers. "This is real."

"How much of it?" I asked. My breathing sped as I remembered the details of last night. "Did you kill the bloodsuckers? With your… powers?"

"Yeah. With the canvas."

"You used it to make them-" I remembered thinking hail was pelting me. I shuddered as I realized it must have actually been shredded bits of bloodsucker flesh.

"Yeah."

"Billy-"

"He wasn't home."

"Really?"

"He was at Charlie Swan's house," she said. "Apparently he went over to talk about the police response to the protests and he ended up spending the night there. He said Charlie was in a bad place."

I nodded. "The Cullens changed Bella."

"I know."

"Where is everyone else?"

"The pack? Sleeping probably. Seemed like you all could use it."

"Sam?"

"He's sleeping next door," she said. "He didn't leave. He phased back soon after I found you."

"Paul?"

"No one knows where he is. Maybe I'll be able to track him down later."

"Seth?"

"Seth's dead, Jared." Kim's voice was soft.

"Can you-" I swallowed. "Can you bring him back? With the canvas?"

She bit her lip and shook her head, fresh tears flowing. "I wish I could. I don't think so. I'm sorry."

I looked away from her to look at the sun streaming through the window. "You-you're not going away again?"

"I didn't really mean to last time," she said. "Really. I just… I got lost along the way."

I started to shake. Even though my mind was filled with fog, I realized that she didn't really answer my question. When I finally built up the courage to look at her again, she looked wary. "You don't even know if you're staying?"

"Listen to me," she said, her face close to mine, her hands tightening around mine. "I'm not going anywhere without you. We will be together. We're meant to be together."

I shook my head. "You don't even believe in that stuff."

"Destiny? Not really," she admitted. "I mean, I know what it means to you. But I also know that just because I don't understand how something works, doesn't mean it's not real. And I've always believed in making my own destiny. I know we're meant to be together, even if only because we want to be together badly enough. And I know we'll be together because we will do whatever it takes to make that happen." I stared at her through the tears welling in my eyes, committing this moment to memory even though I didn't trust myself enough to know if she was real or not.

She wiped my tears with her hands. Her fingers were cold enough that I shivered. "I think you should go back to sleep," she said.

I shook my head. "No."

"I'll be here when you wake up," she said. "I promise."

"No." I tried to shake the memory of her disappearing the last time I'd fallen asleep beside her. I was afraid of her words. I tried to tune them out because they were exactly what I wanted to hear, and I was afraid of letting myself be lifted up only to fall again. It could only be harder the second time. But then she lay down next to me and the longer we held each other, the more solid she felt in my arms.

I felt my guard loosen, little by little. When she said, "everything's going to be ok," I wanted to let myself believe her, but I couldn't shake my memories of her, wandering through the world without speaking or seeing, and of the trail she left when she walked straight into the sea.

"What happened to you, Kim?" I finally asked, voice barely above a whisper.

She was silent for a long time. "It's going to sound crazy."

"I need to hear it."

"I know."

Kim:

It broke my heart to find Jared like that, his body destroyed by monsters. And it broke my heart again to watch him wake up and realize I may have done more damage than the vampires had. I told Jared everything. I knew I owed him that and more.

I started with the day I destroyed my bedroom. I glossed over the details. I was embarrassed by that outburst, by the anger that motivated me, that was somehow so deep but also so broadly directed at everyone and everything in the world. Embarrassed by how far I'd gone. By how I pushed through every boundary, crossed every line I'd ever set for myself. He'd seen all that anyway. I didn't realize it at the time, but I now knew that I had pushed so hard through the canvas, that I woke up on the other side of it. And the way back would be long.

It wasn't until I was close enough to touch that I realized the surface of the canvas was woven. It was less of a page, and more of a carefully crafted basket. I watched pinpricks of sunlight that danced through the tightly woven walls as I rocked along with the movement. I couldn't tell which way was up and which way was down. I pushed on every side of it but couldn't escape. The canvas-the basket-was all around me but the lines I drew on it cut nothing now. Perhaps when this close to the canvas, from the inside, my powers didn't work. The basket flipped and I tumbled out into the light. There was a fire there.

The owner of the basket was a grotesque woman. She had kelp covering her head. It took me a moment to realize it was growing from her skull. Water dripped from it down her face leaving her skin slick with slime. She licked her lips and twitched as she watched me. I jumped back when she made a grab for me. Her dirty, broken fingernails grazed my arm, scratching my skin, but I didn't bleed.

"Oh." Her voice was a gravelly croak. Her dark eyes narrowing as she appraised me. "There's no flesh on you." That confused me. I wasn't accustomed to being called bony. "Cursed wisp," she spat before grabbing her basket and stalking off, probably to find someone less… wispy? I watched her leave, frozen by shock. I backed away, slowly at first before I turned and ran.

I realized as I ran that I didn't fill the space as I used to. I was here, running, but maybe only by a fragment. The rest of me was elsewhere, maybe back on the other side of the canvas. The woods around me were both familiar and foreign, like an early childhood memory. Finding my way felt like remembering my way around a dream I had long since woken up from. I wandered alone, by daylight and moonlight. I couldn't remember what I was running from, or if there was anything I was running towards, but eventually I met the raven.

"I know some tricks," he offered, a sly smile curving his dark beak. "I'll teach you if you'll listen."

"Please," I said. My voice rattled. I'd been starved for company after wandering alone for so long.

The raven's smile grew. He took me to the home of the giant and gave me a task. I was to sneak in and touch all his belongings without being seen. If I succeeded, I would be granted powers that would make me a better warrior.

"And don't look at his face," the raven warned.

"Why?" I asked, taken aback by his sudden sternness. "Is he that ugly?"

The raven giggled, the sound somewhere between a caw and a giddy laugh. "No one knows! Anyone who looks at his face dies instantly."

"Thank you for sharing that information," I said, nodding seriously. I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"So you'll do it?"

"Of course!" Scared as I was at the potential of dying by glimpsing a giant, the prospect of becoming a more powerful warrior was appealing for some reason, and the thought of wandering alone again in these endless woods sounded unbearably miserable. So I snuck into the giant's home, touched some of his many belongings, and slipped back out without catching sight or being caught.

The raven hopped up and down when I returned. "Who knew wisps could be this much fun!" He cawed with delight. Clearly he had a thirst for mischief.

Next we flew into the sky. We saw the world from above, the swirling blues and whites on the back of the giant turtle looked so peaceful from this distance. I imagined what it would be like to fall from this height, with nothing, save for a few seeds from the sky world clasped in my hands. The raven had a mission. He had to put the sun in the sky. His feathers were singed black as he did, but he completed the task. I was tired after our trip but the raven was tireless, in spite of his scorched feathers.

"You're tired? After just one trip to the sun? And yet you call yourself a warrior?" He shook his head in disappointment.

"Did I?" I asked. I couldn't remember making such a claim, though perhaps I had by touching the giant's belongings.

The raven's eyes narrowed. "That's why you're here isn't it? To find your taxilit?" I didn't answer. I remembered the word. I'd heard it before. Why couldn't I remember what it meant? "A true warrior would walk right into the sea and challenge the great whale to prove his strength."

I looked at the sea, letting myself feel the pull of the waves. I was tired, but now that the raven had said it, I did want to prove my strength. How could I refuse? The raven and I were friends now. And somehow, he knew why I was here, even though I couldn't remember myself. And without him I'd be alone. I walked straight into the waves and swam into the ocean until I was eye to eye with the great whale.

He apprised me, with one massive, mirror like eye, then swatted me with his fins, pushed me underwater, slapped me with his tail. I nearly drowned as we fought, battered by his many attacks. I didn't understand how someone so large could be so fast. Under the water and starved for air, some fire I'd forgotten I'd had kindled within me. The water around me started to boil.

I turned into a wolf. I'd forgotten I could do that. I padded my way to the surface gulping at the air. The whale raised his tail to strike me once more, but before he could land the blow, a massive bird not plucked him from the sea just in time. I watched, breathless and battered as the whale was carried off into the now thundering sky. I watched, jaw agape until they disappeared. I paddled to shore.

I crawled up onto the beach, still in wolf form and collapsed in the sand, exhausted. The raven eyed me. "I think we have to call interference on that one," he said. "Oh well. You can rematch later."

"I don't think I have it in me," I barked at him, too tired to even lift my head.

He frowned. "What will we do instead then?"

"I think I really do need some rest," I barked. I was starting to feel my bruises. The raven frowned at me for a while, but then he left me there, flying off to go find the bear. I was boring him. He wanted to play with someone else. I was alone again.

Much later, someone walked up to me and touched my shoulder. When he did, I transformed, human again. The transformer frowned at me. "The raven has many tricks. It would be unwise to learn them all."

I shrugged, shoulders aching from even that small movement. "He was the only one around. And he offered to teach me."

"Did you come here to learn tricks?"

I thought about his question. I don't think it was meant to be difficult, but it took me a long time to answer. "I can't remember why I came here," I admitted.

"I think you came here because you were lost. Lost and angry. Those things go together."

As I tried to remember, a new pain springing in my head and chest, pricking behind my eyes. I remembered feeling angry.

"I think you came here to find strength. And you weren't necessarily wrong to. Some quests can only be completed alone. You came here for your taxilit. And I think you've found it."

I shook my head. The word was familiar, but I couldn't find its meaning. My head was filled with sand and sea. "I don't understand."

"What do you think you're looking for?"

"Um... my destiny?" I wasn't sure why I said that of all things. It was the first word I could think of, and I felt like I had to say something.

"Destiny is not the question."

"What should I be asking then?"

"Duty."

"What is my duty?"

He nodded, looking satisfied as he turned to gaze at the sea. "A wolf protects her pack." For the first time since I'd found myself here in this place, I felt something that came before. From the other side of the canvas. Memories. Just flashes at first, images with powerful feelings I didn't understand attached to them, but the colors threaded together like an intricate basket weaving, into faces. Tears welled in my eyes and spilled over as I recognized them. My pack.

"I left them," I sobbed, shame burning my throat at the pain I'd caused.

The transformer shook his head. "Sometimes you have to leave your home to find your way back. Sometimes you have to lose something to know what it's truly worth." I shook my head, tears flowing now as their faces flashed behind my eyes one by one. Quil. Leah. Sam. Paul. Jacob. Embry. Seth. Jared. "You had to leave your body in order to find your strength. But now it's time for you to go home."