As promised, a new chapter at long last. I did end up deciding to break it off earlier than planned, just because I hit a point where it felt right in the plot, but it still wound up just a little beefier than my average chapters in the past. Without further ado, the beginning of the aftermath.
Note: Tite Kubo owns the source material, not I.
Chapter 38: Dead Man Walking
And I'll be the constant reminder of what life should have been.
We're drowning, we're drowning.
I feel alone, living in a nightmare.
Feel like a dead man walking.
...
As I cry, I am left with the lie of all of these forgotten words.
And we can't take back just what we did.
And we can't take back the things we said.
But I'll try to change this world again.
Before we lose our hope.
...
Dead Man Walking - Black Veil Brides
The sun steadily marched across the morning sky of a new day, the beginning of yet another regular cycle that flowed without heed to the mortals within it or their strife. If one were to overlook the events of previous weeks, it could be easy to appreciate the simple beauty of the warming spring in the Sereitei. Some more than others could. Sadly, a certain strawberry blonde was not one of these.
The moment the sun was high enough for its rays through the ajar sliding door to meet Ichigo's face, he was unwillingly awoken. Even several days after Aizen's completed defection and escape, he still felt drained and aching, a sensation he likened to a constant hangover by his best estimate. As if he'd ever had more than a drop of liquor a day in his life. Either way, he felt like hell, and regardless of where he was, the teen wanted nothing more than to sleep in and recover himself as best he could next to his angel.
With an annoyed groan, he shied away onto his side facing opposite the bothersome light, his arm coming to rest on the empty space of the cot next to him. He sighed, letting the tension leave him as he tried to relax. His fingers dug into the bedding ever so slightly, feeling the cold wood floor beneath-
Brown eyes shot open in that moment, forcing his worn body up into a seated position. Looking left and right, Ichigo found himself alone in the room the two of them had been sharing at the Squad 13 barracks. "Rukia?" he called out groggily, receiving no answer.
Where had she gone off to, especially if it meant not waking him first? Ever since the day they were reunited, the brunette would freeze over the Gates of Hell personally with Sode no Shirayuki before going more than a few feet away from him. And how much she missed him was only a fraction of why.
Sōkyoku Hill was bathed in an orange glow as evening enveloped the shattered plateau. Squad 4 had been called upon in droves to assist those injured in the explosive, albeit evidently pointless, finale to the manhunt of the Substitute Shinigami and subsequent confrontation with the traitors. Ikkaku, Yumichika, and Tetsuzaemon were lucky to escape with bruising and shellshock. As such, they were hauled away to be quickly treated at the medical barracks. Captain Komamura was treated similarly after the shredded remains of his arm were set securely. Rukia's stab wound was quick to staunch as well, a knicked lung for her trouble the cause of most of her pain and impaired movement. Though quickly removed from any remaining danger by the skilled medics, they could not, however, get her to leave her brother and especially her lover, even if they had attempted to drag her. One look in her eyes spelled doom for anyone who dared to try.
The two most pressing patients in question were both too severely battered to be moved with the others, needing on site treatment by the best Squad 4 had to offer at the time. Captain Unohana cared for Byakuya, his physical wounds the most lethal of the two predicaments. That left Ichigo in the hands of Lieutenant Kotetsu and 7th Seat Yamada, the three having converged at the site together after the initial relay of Captain Ukitake's message.
Both officers examined each side of the Substitute's body closely, hands aglow in green as their spiritual pressure gently invaded his body to assess the damage. Rukia had his head resting carefully in her lap, gently running her fingers through his hair as he teetered on the edge of passing out. He looked so deathly at the moment with how drained he was, the image reminding her of his condition the night they woke up at Urahara's. The pain in her chest had nothing to do with the remains of her stab wound. How badly she wished that she would never see his handsome face so close to death ever again.
Hanataro's brows were knit together more and more tightly in confusion as he worked. "Lieutenant...I'm not sure what I'm seeing here. Are you getting this?"
Isane concentrated a moment longer, her eyes hidden by her silver curls as she faced Ichigo directly to get the best sense. "This is...unusual, I've never seen anything like this..." She turned her head towards her superior. "Captain Unohana, do you have a moment?"
The ancient soul reaper looked up from her charge, his wounds taken care of for the time being. She rose, moving with all the grace of her years of experience hidden behind her youthful appearance to her subordinate's side. Without having to ask, having overheard the diagnoses in progress between her two subordinates, she opened her palm towards Ichigo, her own green healing aura igniting. She closed her eyes, taking in the information before her. "Oh my..."
Unohana's own subtle shock had Rukia taken aback, snapping her head up to lock eyes with the older woman. "What is it?" she almost pleaded, her worry as transparent as could be. If Unohana was surprised, it couldn't be anything good.
The Captain took another moment before speaking, her voice, though slightly perturbed, remained calm and professionally confident. "His muscular structure has been ravaged. It is not unusual for those who have just attained Bankai to experience massive strain on their system until they acclimate to it with time and training. The dangers vary from person to person and from Zanpakutō to Zanpakutō."
She averted her eyes back to Ichigo's form, critically analyzing the damage. "The rush of such intense power can break down the muscle fibers. Think atrophy from disuse, but in reverse. Overcharging the body without tempering to the energy output can, put simply, burn it up. Usually, this is easily fixed. After all, it has been millennia since the first Bankai was discovered, we know what to expect. Ichigo Kurosaki's case, however, presents...unique challenges..."
"What do you mean?" Rukia looked down at him, her unease growing as she cupped his face gently between her hands, softly stroking his cheek with her thumb. "Can he be healed?"
Unohana smiled her best motherly smile, watching the exchange knowingly. "Yes, it will just be more difficult, taking more time. His spiritual pressure is, to put it mildly, staggering, especially for someone his age. If he had had more time before brandishing his new Bankai in battle for the first time, his lethality would rival the oldest and most experienced of us, even the Head Captain himself. As it stands, his release expanded his reserves to such ludicrous levels, his muscular damage was more severe than I have ever seen. It is a wonder he could move at all after the first few minutes. Normally this would not be an issue, but there is another problem."
"What?" the ravenette asked meekly. Things kept piling on one after the other, and after the day they'd had, Rukia's frayed nerves were at their limit.
"The damage has...begun to scar over internally, as if he has been healing for weeks already, not moments. Not completely mind you, and it appears haphazard, new muscle fiber tissue metastasizing to those surrounding. The only thing I can think of that could have caused it would be his...transformation."
'That's a kind way of putting it' Rukia thought to herself bitterly, biting her lip. That was the second time he'd been forced to hollowfy, and she was beginning to see a pattern. Both times thus far, she was the trigger. Whenever she was in mortal danger, Ichigo would lose himself to his rage and fear of losing her. It would be romantic if it weren't for the terrifying results. This time was more overt. It wasn't like before, when his inner monster took control. It was like he became the monster to protect her.
"What does that mean for him?" she asked in a calmer, somewhat detached tone.
"I will have to break down some of the scarring before rebuilding the tissue. It will take longer, and his body will be much sorer for much longer. He will, however, fully recover. I shudder to think how mangled his musculature would be if he had remained that way and continued to regenerate unchecked, considering the body alterations happening simultaneously. It seems attempting to heal such severe damage so quickly was detrimental..."
Rukia let that thought wander through her mind as the realization came to her. This whole ordeal was her fault, whether directly or not. Ichigo had unlocked his highest potential, then forced himself into using it in battle before he could prepare…because of her, to find and protect her. That alone was bad enough. After all, he could have crushed himself under the weight of his own power. But she just had to top that, didn't she? What was she supposed to do, just let him die? Just like she did with Kaien?
'No…I couldn't just watch him die…I had to do something…' She circled back to the fight, flinging herself in front of Ichigo to stop her brother from killing him. It seemed the only move at the time, and yet, she began bombarding herself with alternatives, ways that would have saved him without her getting hurt and forcing him to become that thing again…only worse. 'God, I was so foolish…'
Tears pooled in her eyes, running freely down her cheeks and dropping onto his as she grit her teeth and choked back the sobs that wanted so badly to break loose. "I-Ichigo…you idiot…" She bowed her head over him as much as she could, her body instinctively curling around his presence in her self-loathing.
"Why…W-why can't you think about yourself for once…Y-you damn…f-fool…I-I can't lose you, too…" She sucked in a gasp hard, very nearly letting her emotions overcome her.
A calloused hand weakly pressed to her cheek, her tears rolling over the knuckles as she sucked in another harsh breath and tried to blink her eyes clear to see through her waterworks. Her tears upon his face had stirred Ichigo from his stupor, his eyes hard focused on her to keep his consciousness stable. Yet behind the resolve, she could see that same soft flame alight for her and only her, that adoration that would never go away.
"Don't cry…my angel…" he breathed, barely above a whisper. "I promised you…didn't I?"
She could barely breathe, staring at him wide-eyed. She bit her bottom lip hard, whining softly from the effort of keeping it in. "Just…shut up…Rest, strawberry…" She met his gaze again with a fiery one of her own. "And get stronger…I don't ever wanna see you this beaten again…" With that, Rukia scooted just enough to reach, leaning down to kiss him invertedly, one full of a different need than usual, a need to just feel him alive and near.
The Substitute Soul Reaper hadn't heard all that much before Rukia's crying had brought him back to his senses, but she and Captain Unohana had filled him in after they got him more stabilized. Needless to say, the next few days of treatment were PAINFUL! Days still passed before he could move from bed after that, not that he minded. The love of his life simply stayed cuddled to either side of his chest and kept him warm as much and as often as she possibly could. What more could a guy ask for?
This very fact was why Ichigo was so confused and on edge as he heaved himself to his feet. Wincing slightly from his legs' protests, he marshalled on, walking at a leisurely pace to step outside the room and start down the halls belonging to Squad 13.
He had to admit, it was nice seeing things in the Sereitei from this perspective instead of that of a fugitive. Not that he could run well right now if he were so inclined, but that was beside the point. As he moved, he passed several of the squad members. "Repair grid is set at – oh! Uh, good morning, Mr. Kurosaki, sir!" one of them exclaimed, bowing in respect as if he outranked them all.
"Uh…Yeah, you can just say Ichigo, it's fine…" he answered, blushing uncomfortably, not used to getting treatment like this. Little did he know how perceptions had changed. In the public eye, he had gone from fugitive to self-sacrificing hero overnight, the man who knowingly leapt into danger and faced down the Sereitei's forces, death, itself, all in an attempt to save them from the threats from within themselves. Not to mention, he single-handedly put down several Lieutenants AND Captain Byakuya FUCKING (added mentally, as no one knew when the man could be around to hear) Kuchiki to do it. With, they might add, a Bankai he'd unlocked only a day or two prior. The guy was becoming as revered as he was feared, all without him having a clue.
"Say, um…Would any of you guys know where Rukia ran off to? I haven't seen her this morning" he said, rubbing the back of his head a bit sheepishly.
"Uh…No, sir, Mr. Kuro – Uh, I mean, Ichigo, sir. I'd bet Captain Ukitake would know, though, if you'd like to ask him."
Ichigo nodded. "Right. Thanks for your help." He left before he heard another reply, not keen to stick around and continue with that awkward conversation.
Closing his eyes, the orange-haired teenager let his senses wander. They were still dulled with his body so out of it, but he could still feel the largest pressure pressing in on him from just ahead in the compound. Considering the odds, it had to be Jushiro Ukitake, unless another captain happened to stop by. He took his time, not wanting to push his body more than he had to.
Jushiro, himself, was in his office going over the latest paperwork. Power assessments post-battle, rankings to consider, possible promotions, the like. The last subject always made the older gentlemen give a weary sigh, his mind drawn to his former Lieutenant and the now vacant spot he had left behind. As much as he appreciated the efforts of his two co-3rd seats, he didn't feel either of them could handle the responsibilities Kaien had managed in his tenure.
Just as he grabbed ahold of his warm cup of tea for a sip, a shock of orange tangles came into view around the corner. Not many could be confused for this one. "Ah, Ichigo Kurosaki. It's nice to see you up and walking around. Here I am, used to being the only sickly person around here, usually" he said, chuckling at his own self-deprecation.
The teen laughed just a little to himself as he walked inside. "Hey there, Captain Ukitake. I guess this is the first time we've properly spoken since you let us stay here after everything."
"Please, just Jushiro is fine. I'm not directly your commanding officer or anything" the white-haired man said with a kind smile. "And as for the room space, think nothing of it. Rukia preferred staying here more often than not as of the last few years, anyway." He didn't mention that Rukia had insisted on sticking with him when he was placed in Squad 13's care to begin with. Given their romantic entanglement, he understood. That, and he didn't think her overbearing brother would allow her the same courtesy.
Accepting the answer, Ichigo sat across from the older gentleman, his body grateful for the reprieve. "I hope I'm not interrupting your work. I was just gonna ask if you knew where Rukia disappeared to. She was gone when I woke up."
"Oh, she's quite alright" Ukitake said, gesturing for his young guest to calm himself. "She merely received an early call from her brother Byakuya to see her. He had some business to discuss of a personal matter."
"Uh-huh, I see…" Ichigo slowly nodded, feeling a bit numb over what Byakuya might want to say with her, especially if it was personal.
The Squad 13 Captain saw the dread forming in Ichigo's eyes and decided to switch trains of thought. "And to answer your previous question, I don't mind the company, actually. I merely have paperwork to attend to, most over officer placements and possible promotions."
His focus came back at the mention of that. "Reminds me, I've been curious about something. When everyone came out of the woodwork on Sōkyoku Hill the other day, I saw pretty much every high-ranking officer and captain at once. You were the only one not flanked by a Shinigami with an arm badge."
"Oh, you noticed that? Sharp eyes, I see." 'His instincts and deduction are just as sharp as reports said.' "Yes, I don't currently have a Lieutenant. That position was held by Kaien Shiba until his untimely end…" he finished with a sad smile.
"Oh…right…" Ichigo nodded. "So it's been vacant all this time…wait…" His eyes focused hard as a light bulb went off. "If that's the case, why hasn't someone filled it, like say…Rukia? I've seen her fight and know how powerful her Zanpakutō is. If she's not yet at least Lieutenant level, she surely should be a seated officer after someone else takes that spot, right?"
Jushiro nodded, already having had the same thought time and again. "Rukia was worthy of a seat not long before Kaien Shiba's time came to an end, and I believe now more than ever that holding that position open for her was the right one. She would excel there if she could just believe she was as powerful and skilled as she truly is. However, it wasn't my decision to keep her from it."
"What?" The boy's head tilted in confusion. "How? You're her captain, so shouldn't you have the power?"
The Captain nodded again, taking another sip of tea. "Yes, well, some noble families have much larger pull than others here in the Soul Society. You're aware that the Kuchiki Clan is one of the Four Great Noble Clans, right? And with Byakuya being the head, he can pull as many strings as he desires."
Ichigo burst to his feet, his agitation overriding his pain. "The hell?! Why is he holding her back?" he asked indignantly.
A smile crept onto the elder man's face in good humor, liking the boy's fire and determination, especially towards the object of his affections. "He is trying to protect her, in his own way…As cold and stoic as Byakuya appears to most, he does care about his family, more than you might think, even if they aren't his blood."
"Eh…" He slowly looked down at himself, some fresh scars still visible. "Yeah, actually, I can see that pretty clearly…" he admitted, almost ending up dead because of her brother's brand of justice. He had to chuckle nervously before clearing his throat. "Still, he has to realize that holding her back isn't what she needs. She needs pushing forward. Hell, she's so powerful on her own. If he would just acknowledge her-"
"Believe me, I share your sentiment, Ichigo" Jushiro said, nodding as he shut his eyes and leaned back in his seat. "Byakuya is a difficult man, and when it comes to Rukia especially, it's harder for him to be open, let alone encouraging. I mean, she's the spitting image of Hisana…" His eyes snapped open, realizing what he'd let slip.
"Wait, who's Hisana?" Ichigo asked, eyes narrowing at his reaction.
"Enter…"
Byakuya set aside the papers on his desk as he turned to face the door to his office, the tightening of his eyes the only indication of his pain. He'd been told to rest and recuperate, but surely some simple clan business and upkeep wouldn't put too much strain on him. Not that he would be telling Retsu Unohana that he was doing anything other than resting in bed.
Besides, the business he was about to undertake would likely be much more strenuous, at least emotionally.
Rukia slid the office door open and bowed respectfully before sliding the door shut behind her. "You summoned me, Brother?"
"Please sit" he said softly, coming out more as a request than in his usually commanding tone.
She nodded before coming to rest on a cushion in front of him, not meeting his eyes as she fidgeted with her fingers.
"How is…your shoulder?" he asked, sounding reluctant. It wasn't like him to be so…hesitant and unsure.
She had to take a breath to swallow down her surprise at his behavior. "It is fine, Brother. I am…completely healed…"
"I see…" Behind his usual Kuchiki mask, there was some remorse lingering in his gaze. "And…how is the Kurosaki boy fairing?"
Wonders never ceased today. She had to look up at him in slight shock before clearing her throat. "R-recovering well…He should be in good enough condition to leave in another day or two."
He nodded ever so slightly, his gaze never wavering from her. This had likely been the longest he had maintained eye-contact with her for quite some time. "You care a great deal for him, I take it…based on your actions…"
She suddenly found the desk to his left much more interesting, a nervous blush coloring her cheeks. "I…Yes, I do…"
That look all but confirmed it for Byakuya. He shut his eyes almost in resignation. "His sense of duty and the lengths he went through…not to mention how personally he took the attack on the both of you, even if in truth his involvement was circumstantial at most…" Looking back to her with steely determination in his eyes "Does he treat you with respect?"
Her spine went ramrod straight, beads of sweat forming on her brow as the realization sunk in. Had she really made it so transparent? "Uh…I-I…uh…yes, brother…h-he does…"
The Kuchiki head scrutinized her with his thousand-yard stare for a moment longer before shutting his eyes again. "Then I approve your courtship. Even if he is not a noble, I suppose neither are you by birth. Besides…I would not be one to speak against it…"
Relief flooded Rukia before she caught on the implications of his last words. "Brother…I don't understand your meaning."
He took a deep breath before meeting her violet orbs again, his expression seeming far away as he lost himself in those eyes, the same eyes as her elder sister. "You know of my late wife…my Hisana, yes?"
'I have to tread carefully' she warned herself, knowing full well that conversations of Lady Hisana around, let alone with, Byakuya were few and far between, lest he take personal affront. "Yes…I have heard of her. She…passed away not long before I was adopted into the clan, correct?"
He simply nodded, never breaking eye contact. "Not a day goes by that I do not miss her…and for that, I feel I owe you apology and explanation, Rukia…"
The girl's brows shot up in surprise. "I…I don't understand, Brother…Why?"
The noble had to steel his resolve, his usual façade fracturing a bit as he swallowed hard. "I met Hisana as a commoner, working herself as hard as she could just to survive. Though not born of any clan or wealth, from the moment I met her, I saw in her eyes and in her character more nobility than any before her. Even within the conditions she was forced to exist, there was never a kinder soul…"
This was news to Rukia. She had no idea that Lady Hisana was from Rukongai. What's more, she'd never heard her brother speaking so fondly and openly…well, of anyone. He had her hanging on every word, silent as could be.
"She captured my heart as swiftly as you could breathe, and even against the clan's wishes, I took her as my bride. In the short time we spent together, I had never known such happiness. As happy as I tried to make her in return, though…one thing still haunted her, something she worked to correct even to her dying breath…"
He shut his eyes again, brows furrowing slightly the only indication of the pain it caused him to remember her last days. "Hisana had been forced to abandon her younger sister when the girl was but a babe…She did not have the resources to care for them both, and so she made the choice to separate to give each of them the best chance to survive…and ever since she came into my care, she searched everywhere for her lost sister. Even when her illness overtook her, she continued…Sometimes I wonder if she would have survived had she found her sister sooner…"
If Rukia didn't know better, she would swear she could see the slightest hint of moisture in the corners of his eyes as he looked back to her again.
"As she lay on her deathbed the day before she passed, she made me vow to continue looking…to find her sibling and protect her, to make up for betraying her all those years ago. As much as I tired to reassure her that she made the only choice she could, she wouldn't have it…and she wouldn't let go until I swore to continue where she left off…"
Taking a shaky breath, he stared hard into his adopted sister's eyes, getting that far off look again. "You have your sister's eyes, Rukia…"
She couldn't help the gasp that hitched in her throat, her own tears pricking at her eyes as it all sunk in. "Lady Hisana…she was…"
"She…was your older sister…" He nodded ever so slightly. "And not a day went by that she did not think of you…hoping that you were alive and safe…looking for you with everything she had…"
The little Shinigami looked down at her hands clutching at her Shihakusho, unsure of how to feel. She had had an older sister. The woman had been forced to make an impossible decision, one that haunted her until her death. Above all else, she had loved her and held onto that for all those years. And the man that became her adopted brother, the man who was actually her brother by marriage, had upheld her sister's dying wish. What little grief she was capable of over losing a sister she had no memory of was overshadowed by the love she felt in her dying actions and by extension her brother's love for the woman in his act of finding and sheltering her.
"And that is why I feel I must apologize to you, Rukia" Byakuya finally said after a few moments. She met his gaze unsteadily, the pain clearer in his grey eyes. "I have not been the same since I lost her. The world has been a colder place without her presence. And when I see you, almost the spitting image of my dear Hisana…I cannot help but close off my heart all the more in fear of the pain…You don't deserve that…"
She gave a small smile as she bowed her head deeply in response. "I understand, Brother…You don't need to apologize…"
The raven-haired girl gathered herself and slowly stood. "Thank you for everything you've done for me…and for Lady Hisana…"
His Kuchiki mask slid back into place as he turned back to his desk, returning to his work. "That will be all." Although most would see this as apathetic, Rukia now knew better, understanding how hard it was for him to open up like this, how emotionally taxing it was.
Bowing deeply, she excused herself from the room, sliding the door shut as quietly as possible.
Ichigo dropped back to his seat, eyes distant as he processed this information. If anything, it was no wonder the guy seemed to have a permanent stick up his ass.
"As I said," Jushiro continued, "Byakuya is protecting her in his own way. In doing so, he's keeping his promise to his wife."
Slowly, the boy nodded to himself. "I guess I get it…but at the same time, holding her back isn't going to do her any good. It's just gonna make her feel weaker than she really is, like she doesn't deserve to reach higher."
The Captain nodded, silently agreeing with the assessment. Still, there wasn't anything he could do about the situation at hand. As he took another sip of his tea, letting the warmth soothe the dull burn in his throat and chest from his illness, the Substitute stood up, albeit with some effort. Holding out his hand, Zangetsu materialized, and he mounted it on his back.
"And where are you off to?" Ukitake asked in sudden worry.
"I need to have a word with someone." With that, he suddenly flashed out of view, much to the other man's horror.
"NO! DON'T-" He sighed, dropping back into his seat. "…exert yourself…"
Sadly, the warning went unheeded…and Ichigo had to experience the consequences firsthand.
"GAH-SHI-FUC-AH! GODDAMMIT!"
A rush of pain totally halted his concentration, causing his foot to catch on the shingles within the wall maze, subsequently forcing him into a tumble face-first into the ground. With a weary and annoyed groan, hand propped haphazardly above his head and twitching, he grit his teeth against the tiled floor.
"Okay…note to self…no flash step right now…oooowwww…" he growled.
Slowly dragging himself up onto all fours, he noticed the taste of blood in his mouth, his lip split from the impact. "Perfect…Something else for Rukia to ride my ass about later…"
Shaking his head, Ichigo staggered to his feet before closing off all his senses and calming himself to reach out for his target again. "Well, he's still in the same place. Shouldn't be hard to walk there…"
Sighing in frustration, he began trudging along, wiping his chin on his sleeve.
Thanks for reading. Any reviews are welcome.
Hopefully, I'll have the next part up in short order, and hopefully it'll conclude the aftermath without any more breakups in between so we can proceed to the next arc I have in mind.
Next time: Homeward bound(?)