Chapter 38

BPOV

Safe. That was my first thought as I slowly awakened, which was a much better way to wake up compared to the last night. Apparently the almost four days I was out, my mind conjured up all the terrible things that it could and displayed them in terrifying ways. I had dreams of being there when Alice and Jasper killed the Cullen's, slowly throwing their body parts into the purple flames as I screamed for them to stop; then both of them holding hands, walking into the fire together while I cried off to the side, no longer able to scream.

Then Edward had come out of the house wearing the same clothes as the day he took me into the woods to end things and actually looked at me before saying "You were never good enough for me Isabella, I would rather die than deal with you any longer" then he turned and walked himself into the fire…The scenery shifted to Fork's High, as I watched everyone turn on each other; all my classmates that had foggy white eyes devouring the ones that didn't. Angela screamed out as Jessica pushed her down in an attempt to distract a herd of the dead so she could get away, only to run into another herd shortly after.

Over in La'Push, the wolves were hunting their own people since food had become scarce and the community was powerless to stop the supernatural creatures. My dad had been clawed to pieces trying to protect Sue Clearwater from Quill when Leah had burst in, fighting him off to protect her mother; but only seconds after he had gone, she turned her attention to my dad before devouring him, Sue pleading with her to stop while cowering in a corner. Then the prison appeared…everyone dead, dressed in funeral wear, laid out on display randomly throughout the yard with their arms crossed across their chest, even Lorie and Judith, but they hadn't come back as zombies. "Too Late" was on every available flat surface of the prison, letters dripping the blood in which they were written.

As I stood in the middle of the carnage, I saw something move off to my right. Daryl was walking right towards me, but instead of piercing blue eyes that stared into my soul, there was nothing but clouded eyes that looked at me with hunger. I was armed suddenly, my gifted pistol appearing in my hand, knowing it was mine by the weight and the way the grip curved in my palm; but I couldn't've looked down to check if I tried, unable to take my eyes off Daryl's tall form as he approached me. The choice was mine… to kill him, but the gun felt like lead in my hand, much like the weight I felt on my soul at seeing him in such a state.

He'd been surviving all his life, from the few things I knew about it, and I thought that even if the rest of us fell, he would be the last man standing. He turned out to be the last man standing, but no longer part of the living, as he ungracefully stumbled over the bodies that littered the yard to get to me. I knew what the practical thing to do was, but I just couldn't do it… I looked around the yard and thought back to all the previous 'visions' I had seen; I would be alone in the world if I killed him, everyone else I'd known dead and/or devoured, or in the case of the wolves, doing the devouring.

He was close enough that I could smell the rotten flesh that now made up his body when I let the gun fall from my hand, and opened my arms to him, just to hold him at least once. He had slammed into me and I wrapped my arms around his broad shoulders just as he tore into my neck. The sound of muscles ripping and bones crunching filled my ears while I screamed silently, unable to make a sound, clutching his shoulders as he tore the flesh from my body.

Then I was awake, lying on a bunk at the prison, while memories of the dreams I just had circled violently through my mind. Panic took hold and I ripped everything from my arms, the tubes feeling like restraints all of a sudden. Blood gushed from the wounds, running down my arms while I easily ignored the pain; nothing compared to the pain I had just felt, being alone and eaten alive, even if it was a dream.

My throat felt dry as I struggled to breathe. I had to get out of here… the walls felt like they were closing in on me and my mind started to display the images from my dreams as my vision began to tunnel. Blood dripped down the walls to from the words "Too Late" once again and I scrambled off the bunk to my feet, only to find they wouldn't support me as I fell to the floor. Only I didn't hit the concrete, I fell on someone, their body jolting in surprise at the rude awaking I had issued them.

I renewed my struggle, trying to make my legs work and get out of this place when large hands where placed on my shoulders, lifting me up. Daryl's ice blue eyes stared at me, and his mouth was moving, but all I could hear was whirling in my ears that grew louder and louder as my vision started to blur the words smeared on the walls. I grabbed his vest to somewhat ground myself in this blurry hell I had put myself in, and tried once more to stand; wanting nothing more than to be away from these gray walls with the bleeding words, even if I knew somewhere in the back of my mind it wasn't really happening.

I was no stranger to panic attacks from night terrors, but for the last year or so, I had had my own personal mood ring to shake that shit off with ease; Jasper appearing after being informed by Alice of what was to come, but now I had to overcome it without my emotions being altered and it wasn't going well… Before I realized what had happened, I was suddenly upright and floating my way to the exit; being greeted by the empty yard and the soft glow of the moon. I pulled the fresh, cool air into my starving lungs and my vision started to return to normal; while the whirling in my ears calmed to a tolerable level, only to be replaced by a voice that I couldn't understand.

My vison of the moon swayed as my body was shifted, making me realize my hands were attached to something. Looking down to see what my they clutched so desperately, I found Daryl. His eyes were not cloudy, but sky blue that glowed in the moonlight as he stared at me, seemingly waiting for some kind of explanation for the fucked up shit that had just occurred. I couldn't believe that he was here; it seemed like ages since I had seen him last. "Daryl?" I tried to ask through what felt like cotton lodged in my throat, just needing to be sure it was really him….

His words almost came too fast for me to process as I tried to remove the sludge from my mind and concentrate. A drink had sounded amazing until we returned to the doors of the prison, the bloody writing still haunting my mind, prompting me to freak out once more. I begged not to be taken back in there after failing to walk once again, then cried because I was ashamed; ashamed to be showing one of my biggest weaknesses to Daryl, a person that I actually cared what he thought of me. Ashamed because I couldn't release him if I tried, his presence bringing me comfort and grounding me, even though I knew it was selfish of me when he didn't like to have his personal space violated. Ashamed to be reliant on another, to beg and cry, for him to see me like this: weak.

The smell of hay invaded my scenes and I noticed the horse I believed to be named Thor, standing a short distance from us. Daryl was trying to get me to drink something, and at first I just wanted to be left to my thoughts, but then I felt the cool moisture hitting my parched throat and couldn't get enough; only to end of spitting all over Daryl's face in a coughing fit. It was as I turned to try to wipe some of the dripping liquid from his face that I finally realized I was sitting in his lap. I could feel my face burn as I tried to apologize for everything I was putting him through this evening, trying to ignore the fact that I could feel the muscles flex in his large, firm thighs each time he moved.

While I tried to process everything since waking up, from what felt like years in my mind, I looked down still trying to fan the flames that burned my face (not physically of course!) when I noticed he didn't have on his boots. I had never seen him without boots that I could recall; his feet were not overly large and his toes appeared make an even slant in the gray socks he wore with pieces of hay sticking out in all different directions. As he pulled his bandana from his pocket to wipe the liquid that still dripped from his face, I saw he didn't have a jacket on either, not even a flannel, just a somewhat tight T-shirt… well of course not Bella, you only fell on him while he was sleeping then proceeded to flop around like a seizure patient, waking him up to deal with all your bullshit, in bulk; which brought up another question… why was he there, on the floor next to my bunk?

When he wanted me to drink more and as he held the soda to my mouth, I started to notice things that had passed me by till now, like the scuff on his face and the bags under his eyes; though he seemed to be happy at the moment, watching me drink as I watched him in return. In fact he didn't seem to be tensed at all, even though I was invading his private space quite a bit being on his lap and still unable to fully release my hands from his vest, as if he might disappear the moment I let go. And I didn't know if I had dreamed it or not, but I was also pretty sure he had called me doll at some point in time… it was like living in a parallel universe or something; him welcoming me into his space with a pleased look on his face and calling me pet names… maybe I was still dreaming.

I tried to tell him I was sorry for what had happened and give some sort of explanation when he informed me that I had been unconscious for almost four days… Thoughts of pet names and parallel universes went wayside as I tried to process. Four Days?! Scanning back, I tried to remember what had happened last and what was supposed to happen in the oncoming days, if anything, when I remembered about Glenn. I was relieved to know he was up and about, slowly recovering, when alarm bells started going off in my head. Lorie!

I tried to be casual about it, asking how she and the baby were doing, getting an answer that as far as he knew they were fine; but I knew it was only a matter of time, a very short matter of time, until she died. With Hershel being in the sick cell block, I didn't know how he was going to keep an eye on her but I slowly let that worry die down, knowing he wouldn't have forgotten something so important. I spoke with Daryl for a while, giving him a better explanation of what had happened tonight and I observed him closely, trying to understand the large shift in his emotions.

He wasn't tense, and even though his hands were at his sides, he didn't seem to be waiting for the first opportunity to blot out of here. He had relaxed back into the hay, well the best he could with my hands still firmly gripped onto his vest, just listening to me blab about some of the clumsy things that had sent me to the hospital in the past. He didn't seem to mind the contact I needed so desperately, as if me clinging to him didn't bother him one bit… Exhaustion from my panic attack snuck up on me as my thoughts circled around about the changes in Daryl, unable to come to a conclusion before sleep took hold.

Safe. Safe and warm were the first things that came to mind as I tried to fight the urge to wake. I hadn't dreamed last night that I remembered, which was a relief. I pulled my leg up, enjoying the warmth my bed seemed to provide while wondering where in the hell did someone have a bed like this stashed away; Alice had given me a bed that I thought belonged in a 5 star luxury hotel, but this, well this wasn't even in the same category as that one. It was almost like it moved with me each time I took a breath, the sound of my own heart beat tempting to lull me back to sleep as I thought about Daryl. I was happy to have had a dreamless sleep, not just to have a break from the night terrors, but the last thing I wanted was for Daryl to know about how I dreamed of him by calling out his name, as Michonne had informed me I did… Daryl!

Last I remembered was talking in the barn…. I took a deep breath, the smell of hay still very strong, pushing the last of my tiredness aside as my eyes shot open. Trying not to move much so I didn't wake him and have a disaster like the last time I had cuddled him in my sleep, I slowly moved my leg that I had hiked up over his hip back down. I brushed the hair off my face when I finally noticed that I was hearing his heartbeat earlier, not my own, and slowly relaxed back into him, soothed by its steady melody.

I was going to enjoy every second I could of being close to him, before he woke up and decided to start acting like his old self again. One of my hands rested on his broad chest, my fingers carefully tracing the outline his pectoral made in his shirt; his large thighs against my legs made me realize just how much bigger he was than me, but his larger form made me feel safer than I had ever felt in my life. Savoring the moment, I tried to memorize the beat of his heart and the way his body aligned with mine, the way his muscles moved with each breath… When the barn door slammed open and ruined it.

I'd felt him tense up under me, probably awoken by the noise, and maybe because I was spread out on him like butter on hot toast. Yet, he didn't set me aside, or do anything in fact. It was strange… and if I hadn't known better, I would've thought he went back to sleep; but there was no way, not with all the noise going on in the barn now. I could hear the horse feed being scooped into buckets and empty ones being tossed to the side, bouncing loudly across the packed dirt floor; just someone trying to do their morning chores had ruined my chance to observe him so freely… or had they?

I knew he was awake, but yet he still laid there calmly, his heartbeat not changing after its initial hiccup to the door slamming open; but mine had risen, beating rapidly in my chest, as I worried about Daryl being put in a position that looked really bad to someone that didn't know what really happened last night. I also knew that he was aware that I was awake as well, but he didn't seem to mind, once again making my mind go in circles trying to understand. He obviously didn't care about someone about to find us together, and I found myself not caring either as I worked up the courage to turn my face up to look at him, only to find him staring back at me.

My nerves flared as I tried to read his expression, but his small, half a smile was something I hadn't expected, making me unable to hide the full blown grin that appeared on my face. He didn't mind. He seemed to be fully awake, which had been a surprise, but then again he usually was the first to wake when be bunked together in the tent; but still brought even more questions to my mind like how long had he been awake, why was he ok with all this all of a sudden, did I want to bring it up or just enjoy it while he let it happen… when my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Zach's voice.

He reminded me of Mike Newton, just less polite and lacking in any kind of verbal filter, following me around the prison yard as I tried to escape his awful pickup lines. My leg being out on display was not something I had been aware of after moving it off of Daryl's hip, but it brought my attention to a detail I failed to notice before. His large hands had flinched, probably in an effort to protect his…uh, manly bits from my oncoming knee, when I noticed I could feel the callused skin of his hand on my side; his wide spread fingers dangerously close to the underside of my breast, while his palm and thumb curved along my ribs and back, just along the edges of the wing tattooed there.

I couldn't control the shudder that went through me, the feeling of his hand touching such a delicate place, skin to skin, somewhere I had never been touched by anyone before; but yet it didn't seem sexual, only comforting, that is until he attempted to move his hand away. It was literally a knee jerk reaction, a last ditch effort, to get him to return his hand to its previous location, but it worked. I could feel the heat of his gaze as he turned to look at me, but I continued to look at the wall with my face on fire, lowering my knee and relaxing my body into his; unable to explain the need to have the skin on skin contact even if I had wanted to.

I almost flinched at the sound of Zach's voice, ashamed to admit that I had forgotten he was there. Which brought the question of why; why was he still here… If you came upon a couple that seemed to be waking up together, isn't it polite to try and make yourself scarce? Not stand around and discuss it while they were still, in fact, together… I don't know what he expected Daryl to do, it wasn't like he was much of a talker to begin with, so for Zach to expect him to suddenly brag about his lady friend to him seemed unlikely; not that we were doing any of the things he probably assumed, but Daryl was oddly calm for being in a position that Zach was sure to blab to the rest of the prison the second he left the barn.

Daryl's body tightened under my own, causing me to replay Zach's words in my head to process them properly before I finally lost it and revealed myself. Was a little privacy and respect too much to ask?! Who knew if I would get another chance to enjoy being so close to Daryl.. The devastation in his voice shouldn't have brought me joy, but maybe now he would stop bothering me if he thought I was with Daryl; Daryl, who was awfully quiet on the subject and didn't seem to feel the need to clear things up, thankfully.

The small amount of joy I had felt vanished with his next statement; Daryl's body had tensed once again, his hands tightening around me as he probably fought not to throw me aside and murder the boy. I had pulled the knife from his belt without even a look in my direction from eyes that's swirled with rage, and worked my arm up into a position to throw it. I felt off and weak, but empowered by my own anger as I let the knife fly, it lodging in the post next to Zach's face, finally shutting him the fuck up.

My body was unable to enforce my anger any longer, having to drag my limp arm back to me, but my mind still boiled at the audacity he had to accuse Daryl of something so selfish and cruel. Threatening him was the only option I had remaining, with my body seemingly out of commission for now, luck being on my side as he took me seriously. He pressed his mouth in a fine line, anger and embarrassment fighting for dominance on his face, before he finally stomped his way out, slamming the door shut in his wake. In the heat of my anger as I glared in the direction of the door, I didn't have a doubt that if he kept running his mouth with such damning statements about Daryl, I really would cut his tongue out.

The process of how to do it without killing him may have played over in my mind a few times before muscles under the shirt I clenched so tightly, flexed, bring my attention back to Daryl. He too was glaring at the door, his strong jaw noticeably clenched in anger; trying to think of a way to distract him, I decided to bite the bullet and bring up the changes I had noticed. I wanted to know… No, I needed to know why and what they meant for me, because being close to him like this was bringing up the feelings I had tried to repress after that day in the woods, while I tried to work on getting him to believe my affection for him was real.

"Daryl?" I said quietly, watching his head swivel to look at me as I kept myself propped up on abs that didn't even seem to notice the extra weight. Most of the anger left his face as he looked at me, his hands loosening their grip, like he thought I was too fragile to hold so tightly. He waited patiently for me to form some kind of words, but my mind was shot, starring into the deep pools of blue that had grown darker with his emotions. Finally giving myself a mental slap after starring at him for god knows how long, I tried again, "Daryl, I.. uh what…" Dammit Bella, get it together, ask him!

What changed, why, what did it mean… anything instead of opening and closing your mouth like a fish out of water. My face burned hot with embarrassment, but he still waited, his face giving nothing away, not even a hint of what he was feeling. That is until I released his shirt, trying to smooth the fabric out in a fit of nerves; spreading my palms flat to support myself once more while my fingers slightly curved to clutch him through the thin cotton as I fidgeted under his gaze.

His muscles tremored under my hands and his breathing faltered slightly, and for a moment, I wondered if he was injured somewhere I hadn't noticed before; especially since I was very unobservant the night before. Then it hit me, Oh! I was basically kneading at him like a cat in my fit of anxiety, my fingertips digging into muscles I found there only inches above his belt; as his fingers mocked my own, now placed above my hips over the fabric of my gown. I sat somewhat awkwardly in his lap after confronting Zach, with my legs off to one side trying to support my weight on my weak arms.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew this wasn't a good idea; too many things left unclarified, that feelings could be hurt once more possibly ruining any kind of friendship with him in the future, my body weak and not to mention my appearance…. The hospital gown that felt slightly open in the back according to the small draft I felt, sans panties or bra apparently just going commando, my hair probably looked like a hay stack complete with pieces of actual hay stuck in it, and my breath probably reeked like week old zombie and I needed to pee badly… but when the blue in his eyes darkened like the deep waters of an ocean and his pupils dilated, all logic disappeared.

Energy flooded my body once more as my hormones flared, slowly spreading my hands wide on his trembling abs, the muscles twitching under my palms. My eyes never left his, looking for any sign that this wasn't ok, as my hands slowly slid upwards, feeling as much of him as I could through the thin fabric of his shirt. I had made it to his perfect pectorals under the edges of his vest, when my arms would no longer reach, stopping just after my palms passed his nipples. I hadn't ever thought about a man's nipples as sexy or hot, but now, I just wanted to rip his shirt off to see them, maybe even run my tongue over them…

His pupils were even wider as he started to rise, his abs pulling him up slowly with ease, letting me continue the path I had laid out for my hands as his ghosted up my back, like he was afraid to touch me. My fingers mapped out his clavicle, working their way out to the edges of his broad shoulders before slowly heading to the collar of his shirt, feeling the muscles of his arms roll under them as he slowly moved his hands up to my shoulders. He still hadn't blinked that I noticed, still looking in my eyes which felt like he was seeing into my soul, until my fingers made contact on the skin of his neck. His eyes shut briefly and he inhaled deeply, feeling the same sparks as I did as my hands slowly made my way up, my thumbs pausing the caress his Adams apple as it bobbed in his throat.

The scruff on the edges of his face felt scratchy, but not as rough as I would've thought it to be, as I noticed the variety of colors that made it up; different shades of brown, some blond here and there and even a few auburn colored hairs littered his face. My hands never left his face, my thumbs reaching the bridge of his nose before sliding over the dark circles under his eyes. Then moved to smooth the crease in his brow, mapping out his face, while he still stared into my eyes through the gaps of my fingers. He seemed to be looking for the same thing that I was, an answer; 'Is this ok?' we both asked silently with every move we made.

His chin tilted up as I pushed my fingers through his straight brown hair, sliding over his ears down to the base of his neck then back up, tangling themselves into the hair on the back of his head; feeling every scar hidden beneath. Large hands wrapped around my waist pulling me closer, sliding upwards on my back, as calloused fingertips touched the exposed flesh of my back through the gap in my gown, setting fire to every inch they caressed. Just as my chest made contact with his and our noses almost touched, the door burst open once more causing us snap out of it, as a tear stained Rick rushed in, pointing his 357 Python at me.

Snarkbait24: You will get your answer soon!

Thank you all for the reviews!