39

OLLIE had no idea how long he stayed rooted to his spot on top of the roof while Lupin and Tonks sat by his side, but long after Norah had fallen asleep, his cheek burned.

The spot where her lips met his skin tingled. The pads of his fingertips ghosted along the same spot, hardly daring to believe it. She had kissed him of her own volition.

Tonks furrowed her thin pink eyebrows in a slight quizzical look, but then her words as she spoke up nearly gave the poor Legilimens a heart attack and he startled, not having anticipated Tonks's sudden nearness as Tonks slowly approached him.

"She kissed you, Ollie?"

He'd been so lost, engrossed in his own thoughts in constructing scenarios for tomorrow on their date to that Muggle Italian joint and mulling over their conversation of their mutually horrible fathers, thinking that it wasn't much to build on, but at least it was a connection, Ollie thought, that he hardly registering Tonks's words and grunted in response.

Tonks grinned, shooting him a blindingly white smile that might have once made him weak at the knees, but these days, it seemed like that honor went to Jameson, who thankfully was now sleeping soundly.

She folded her legs under the skirts of her dress and picked at a loose thread on her black dress absentmindedly until Lupin took notice and lightly smacked her hand away.

Dora shot Remus a withering look though the werewolf ignored it, turning her attention back to her best mate, wanting the details.

"On the cheek, but…yes," Ollie grunted, annoyed.

"Did you like it?" Tonks asked in a sly sort of tone that made Ollie cringe as Tonks crossed the boundaries of their friendship and rested her head in his lap as he was sitting cross-legged to better look the man in his icy blue eyes.

He blushed, running his hands along his cheeks to hide his growing elatedness from his friends.

Lupin, thank God, didn't seem to take any offense whatsoever to his fiancée's head resting in the lap of another man, at least not from what Ollie could see, though before he spoke, he felt himself give a nod.

"Oh, so you did like it!" Tonks confirmed without even waiting for Ollie to try to collect his thoughts. She winked at Ollie, making him blush even harder. "Well, you must be doing something right!" Tonks teased, playfully socking her best friend on the arm with a light little punch. "Where are you taking her tomorrow? Sperry's?" she asked casually, looking away from Ollie and out towards the Death Eater's home (still no sign of any activity, thank Merlin!) to spare him further embarrassment.

She wasn't sure whether or not Ollie knew it for himself, but the man was smitten with her. Ollie shot her a pointed icy-blue glower out of the corner of his gaze and merely grunted in response.

She let out a sigh and glanced at Lupin out of the corner of her eye, who shot her an understanding smile, and was sensing that Remus had a word or two to say to her best mate in privacy without her around.

Tonks huffed in frustration and removed her head from Ollie's lap, stretching before standing up.

"If you do take her to Sperry's, make sure to get boxes and tell Craig, the maître d there to give you extra breadsticks. Tell him I sent you," Tonks teased, shooting Ollie a curt little wink. "The last time Rem and I went, we had leftovers for at least three days. Well. I'll leave you to it then. Rem, I guess it's up to you to educate the man on how to properly woo a witch. We're very complex creatures, Ollie. Pleasing us takes practice," she grinned mischievously as both wizards' blushes intensified and chose to stroll over to the other side of the building, giving them a moment.

Lupin waited to speak until Tonks was well out of earshot, though he wouldn't put it past Dora to have snuck one of Fred and George's Extendable Ears up the sleeve of her dress.

He chuckled and returned his attention to Dora's best friend, who still held a stupefied expression on his face, as though he could not quite believe what was happening to him tonight.

"Are you taking Norah to Sperry's, Ollie?" he questioned, his own curiosity getting the better of him.

He'd heard Tonks mention it once or twice after she'd had a conversation with Norah earlier, which he thought would have been a coincidence, as Sperry's was where he and Tonks had their first date.

Well, sort of. Their date had more or less wound up with them eating takeout from the Italian restaurant in Tonks's hospital room in St. Mungo's following the successful attempt at nabbing Rookwood in the act of kidnapping young witches, only now to find him loose on the street.

Again. Lupin bristled at the thought but blinked himself out of his stunned stupor the moment he heard Ollie start to speak up.

"Yeah," Ollie nodded, glancing curiously at Remus out of the corner of his eyes, unable to fight against the growing suspicion in his chest.

What did Dora's partner want with him? Why ask him this? He sighed and pressed on, sensing neither of them were just about to let the matter drop.

"It's casual enough to not put too much pressure on Jameson, Lupin," he said, swallowing down hard past the lump in his throat at the thought of taking Norah on a first date.

His first date, as it so happened, though he'd die before he'd ever admit that to the blonde prickly little werewolf.

Remus, ever the intuitive man that he was, sensed Ollie's mounting hesitation as the younger wizard had turned around and was silently watching Norah sleep before swiveling back around and focusing his attention on Rosier's house in front of him, avoiding Lupin's piercing, questioning gaze. He let out a sigh.

"I know that look, Ollie. You're smitten," he added, a light teasing lilt to his voice, his light brown eyes twinkling in amusement as he looked at Ollie. "Don't try to worm your way out of this. You are going to take her out, aren't you, Ollie?" he confirmed, raising his eyebrows in alarm at the shift in his mood.

"Yes, but…" He paused, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he refused to look at Remus, though he felt a shift within himself as he turned to the older man. "What the hell does a guy like me have to offer a girl like her, Remus? I'm not special, I'm not worth her time, so why did she say yes when I asked?" he growled, the note of bitterness in his voice unmistakable as he carded his fingers through his thick tuft of black hair, wondering if Molly would trim it for him tomorrow in the kitchens before his date.

He allowed the pads of his fingertips to ghost along the burnt and marred flesh under his eye, letting out a growl, thinking he was grateful Jack was dead.

Otherwise, he'd have been tempted to put him six feet under himself for what he had done to him.

He cursed himself and fell silent, waiting for Lupin to respond to the question he'd asked.

"You're a good-looking man, Ollie, despite your scar." Lupin paused. "Especially with the scar," he added thoughtfully, almost as an afterthought. "You're…" He paused, refraining from using the word temperamental, though for the moment, it was the only word that came to his mind. "Fiercely protective of those around you who you care about. Especially her." He smiled, sensing Ollie's discomfort, hoping to ease the burden of worry he carried on his shoulders. "You don't have to explain your feelings to us or try to justify them, Ollie," Remus continued. "We see that you like her."

Lupin didn't bother to look behind him. Ollie knew he was referring to Norah.

His frown deepened as he saw the worry lines on Ollie's otherwise smooth forehead and the edges of his lips turned down in a frown, creating a deep groove near his mouth.

"I'm afraid that I don't understand," Lupin said cautiously, looking at Dora's best friend quizzically. "Why then do you seem to be hesitating? It's obvious Norah likes you, Ollie, so why this?"

There seemed to be no air in Ollie's lungs as he struggled to get in a good breath.

As Ollie slowly looked towards Remus, an incredulous look on his face, he was surprised to find the older man genuinely looking concerned about him, as though he thought he would go back on his word to Norah, which was the last thing on his mind.

Ollie paused, mulling over the answer to give in his mind.

He'd been asking himself the same question as the day had dragged on and every second brought him closer to tomorrow night. It was said that once you'd mastered being alone, you were ready for the company of others. But that didn't make it easy for Ollie though.

He wanted what most others in this world took for granted, freedom from the prejudices of being the son of Jack Brennan, the monster that he was.

He wanted a good woman, a wonderful to care for, to know the simple joys of being loved and his feelings reciprocated.

But Ollie had managed to convince himself that he would never have it, not with Norah, though he wanted it bad enough that it was almost an ache.

The darkness swirled around his tense form as he sat rigidly at the edge of the rooftop, the blackness that engulfed him constant reminders of his tragic past growing up and solitude.

He was completely and utterly alone in his mind, and most of all, entirely alone in this world aside from Lupin and Tonks and now maybe Norah in a world that was dark and cruel to him.

Tonks, her curiosity getting the better of her by this point, sauntering back over in a casual blasé manner that suggested to both Remus and Ollie that she had been trying her hardest not to listen in to any given point in what was supposed to have been a private conversation.

But they could tell by the furtive, guilty look on her face that she shot him that she had heard every word.

"What are you still doing up, Ollie? You should be resting, don't you know? Remus and I are up now, we've had a couple hours of sleep, let us take over. Go join your partner, try to get some rest. You're gonna need it for tomorrow on your date, you don't want to be looking haggard," she smiled. Though when Ollie did not immediately return her smile, she let out a tired sigh. "What's wrong? What are you doing, Ollie?" Tonks asked her best friend cautiously, her tone guarded.

Ollie furrowed his brows in a frown as he took note of the developing purple bags underneath Dora's eyes, which immediately gave him cause for concern.

It became clear to him that Tonks had not received a full night's rest in perhaps months.

"Thinking," came his curt answer, his tone cold and stiff. Tonks and Lupin exchanged a slightly knowing little smirk between the two of them.

Ollie noticed the unwanted gesture out of the corner of his peripherals, his frown deepening as did the lines on his forehead as the younger man resisted his cheek in his fist, looking as though he'd rather be anywhere else, but here.

Tonks rolled her eyes at Ollie's sarcastic, dry response.

"We heard the two of you talking earlier," Remus added, a slightly mischievous smile tugging at the corners of his scarred mouth as Ollie's head whiplashed sharply upwards so fast to regard the pair that Tonks had to move her head back to avoid connecting with him as the pair sat on the rooftop alongside him.

Ollie parted his lips open slightly chastise the lot of them for listening in on what was supposed to be a private conversation between him and Norah, though Tonks interrupted before he could so much as get a word in edgewise, smiling brightly at him.

"We just want you to know, Ol, that you can develop a relationship with Norah, Ollie, that's all. The only one standing in your way, Ollie, is you, you know that, right?" Tonks said quietly in what she hoped was a soothing tone. "If anyone deserves it, mate, you do. You've had a really tough life, and so has Norah, I think."

This was new.

Ollie felt his face pale in shock as he regarded Tonks, a muscle in his jaw twitching.

"You talked to her?" he growled, feeling a surge in his temper swell and a slight twinge of jealousy in the fact that Norah seemed to be becoming close enough to Tonks to confide in her what was ailing her, but not him.

Tonks blushed and quickly tried to correct herself.

She had been afraid her friend would misinterpret the meaning of her words, and judging by Ollie's angry expression, he'd done that.

Tonks chewed on her lip, thinking for a few minutes of how best to smooth over this little misunderstanding.

"No," she stammered out, perhaps a little too quickly than she would have liked, and she could tell her mate did not fully believe her words.

She blushed as Ollie's bright sky-blue eyes darkened, almost cerulean in color and his cheeks flushed, painting themselves a bright rosy red while he waited for Tonks to collect her thoughts.

Tonks could see Ollie's shoulders tensing, the muscle in his jaw twitching a bit like it always did whenever he would get inexplicably defensive over something.

She recognized the telltale signs of the man's temper about to implode. She swallowed thickly and peeked back over her shoulder towards Norah's sleeping form.

She did not want to wake her new friend if she could help it. Tonks let out a sigh, turning her gaze back to look at Ollie before looking towards Remus.

Against her better judgment, she felt the beginnings of an affectionate, if not a little bit mischievous, smile creep onto her face as she looked at Ollie in his growing discomfort.

Ollie bristled, silently seething as he finally found his voice.

"We were just talking about where to go after Sperry's," he blatantly lied through his gritted teeth as he reverted his gaze first.

Tonks's smile slid off her face faster than vanishing Stinksap as she exchanged a dark, knowing little look with Remus.

He gave her a curt shake of his head no, silently communicating to his fiancée not to bring up the little fact that the two of them had caught snippets of them discussing their fathers.

Tonks gave a nod to Lupin in return before refocusing her attention back to Ollie, who was staring at them both and waiting for Tonks to answer him. She sighed, pinching at the bridge of her slender nose with her thumb and forefinger.

"It sure didn't sound like that kind of conversation to us, Ol, so please don't lie to me. Don't insult my intelligence," she snapped, her own temper threatening to swell to the surface.

She knew Ollie had always doubted his worth. He's like Remus in that regard, she thought.

She gave her head a curt shake to clear it and pressed on, sensing the man's hesitance in his burning blue eyes.

Ollie might be able to close off his mind and prevent her or any other witch or wizard skilled in Legilimency from reading his thoughts, but his eyes always gave him away.

That he could never hide from Tonks.

"You like Norah, Ollie, admit it. Why can't you let yourself feel that?" Tonks challenged, hoping Ollie wasn't about to start spouting his usual bullshit of how he was too damaged for Norah.

She blinked owlishly at him as the realization hit her that this was another way in that Ollie Brennan and Remus Lupin were much alike.

Lupin had pushed Tonks away several times the moment their partnership had crossed the boundary line from being just partners and friends in the Order, to being romantically involved with one another.

She hoped Ollie wasn't going to start using his past with his father as a crutch for getting out of the date.

Ollie startled and froze upon hearing Dora's words, not having anticipated that Tonks would call him out on it so fast, what he was doing.

"She—no, Tonks, that's—that's ridiculous," he spat, fumbling over his words.

He couldn't help staring at Tonks's pale pink headband and her tiny gold hoop earrings as she toyed with a lock of her hair (a rich dark blue this evening), if only for the distraction so he could manage to avoid both Lupin and Tonks' piercing gazes.

"I—" he started to say, though Lupin promptly cut Ollie off from whatever he had been about to say next, holding up his right hand.

"Have yourself quite the partner," Remus finished jovially, his light brown eyes twinkling as he looked at Ollie.

He chuckled a little at how pink and flushed poor Ollie's face was becoming the longer they lingered on the topic of his upcoming date tomorrow.

"Tonks and I have said it all along. You take a ridiculous stance on your romantic life. Or lack of a love life, I guess I should say," Lupin murmured, speaking more to himself at this point as Remus rubbed a hand along the edges of his rough, closely cropped light beard.

He didn't know what caused it, though something about the hopeful tone in Remus's quiet, reserved voice was too much to bear. Ollie felt something ugly rise within himself and he just…snapped.

"I shouldn't even be allowed to marry, let alone talk to her!" he bellowed, curling his fingers into a fist, and slamming his hand down onto the rooftop's ledge beside him, feeling his wrist practically shatter as the skin of his knuckles contacted with the hard stone, in a moment of anger, startling both Lupin and Tonks.

It was admittedly rare for him to lose his temper, at least in front of Tonks and Lupin, but Ollie couldn't help it.

They had gone too far. He could tell by the way their faces paled, he'd scared them.

"Whoa," Tonks breathed in a wide-eyed voice, though Ollie immediately knew that she was less so shocked at his outburst and more the fact that he'd brought up marriage and Norah in the same sentence, especially so soon into their new partnership. "Married?"

Groaning, Ollie realized what he had said and how his two friends might interpret it. He'd not meant to let it slip out like this.

"I know, I—I'm sorry, T, but I…it's been on my mind," he confessed, his darkening blue eyes flitting towards Tonks's engagement ring she proudly wore on her left ring finger.

Tonks blushed and shot the younger man an apologetic look and immediately tried to shrug the sleeve of her dress over her hand, but Ollie's hand shot out and stopped her. He shook his head.

"Don't," he snapped, almost sounding angry with Tonks. "You don't have to…to hide it from me, T. What kind of a friend would I be to you and Remus if I weren't happy for you both?" he asked. "And now with Umbridge and my grandmother mad at me because of mine and Jameson's partnership, I can't put Norah's life in danger anymore. I won't do it, Tonks, Remus, so don't ask me to!"

"Whoa, whoa, slow down a second, Ollie!" Tonks protested wildly as she held up her hands to try to cut her mate off mid-rant. "No one said anything about…that," she murmured quietly.

Her face was paler than usual as she wrapped Remus's tattered brown jacket around her shoulders for warmth and leaned forward, crossing her legs, and resting her hands in her lap.

Tonks fixed the former Slytherin with a cold, hardened stare, one bereft of love.

"Then why bring up Norah at three o'clock in the morning?" Ollie snapped, hating the harsh, almost dog-like bark to his voice, how angry he was.

It was Tonks who came to the rescue, as always.

"We saw the way she looked at you. The girl couldn't keep her eyes off you all tonight, and you're more so the fool if you couldn't see it."

Ollie, forever a peace advocate despite his father's inherited temper, wanted nothing more in the moment to wipe that smug little smirk off Tonks's face with an angry remark and a well-aimed jinx, but he bit his tongue and resisted the very urge.

"We're just friends," he emphasized heavily, averting their gaze. "Nothing more, a-and nothing less. She...how could I possibly tell her the truth about how I feel? What would she say?" he groaned, turning away, folding his arms across his chest and sulking.

"But she likes you," added Lupin with a nonchalant shrug of his shoulders. Ollie shot Lupin a dark look, begrudgingly nodding.

"What?" he demanded, his voice terse and his posture rigid. His normally kind blue eyes narrowed until they were naught but slits.

Lupin chuckled. "You like her, don't try to deny it. You've always been a terrible liar, Ollie, so don't start now," he laughed, unable to keep his happiness to himself.

"I…don't…that's—that's completely beside the point!" Ollie snapped, cringing, and hating that he was becoming more flustered by the second. "I can assure both of you that there is nothing romantic between us."

Lies. He was lying through his teeth to both of them, and they knew it.

He could almost smell the want emanating from the young blonde coming off her in waves, and he wondered what it was like for her with her heightened wolfish senses, if she felt the same thing he did.

But he wouldn't be surprised if Norah wanted nothing further to do with him after their date tomorrow was sure to end in disaster after she rejected him once he was able to tell Norah the Merlin-honest truth.

"Why not?" challenged Tonks hotly, the corners of her mouth twitching as she fought back a kind smile. "You want to know what I think?" she asked. Ollie didn't, but couldn't very well say that, so he resorted to nodding. "I believe that each of us deserves a chance at love. And I know, it's going to sound silly, but there is someone out there for everyone, and we believe in love. How could we not?" Tonks added, instinctively reaching for her partner's hand as it settled over top Lupin's.

Ollie noticed and felt his heartstrings tug. "Where are you going with this, Tonks? I presume your story has a point, doesn't it? Get on with it, then," snapped Ollie moodily, letting out a sigh.

Tonks offered Ollie a small, wry, sad little smile. " I know some say there's no such thing as true love, that it all ends in heartbreak and pain, but I think that's the beauty of it. To have something so perfect for such a short while, and then for it to disappear into nothing. It's an endless loop, never ending, always on the move. You never know where it will take you. That's the thing about love, it's so beautiful and mysterious and magical. I believe we all deserve a chance at love because we all deserve something magical. You found it. You're ready, Ollie. You have to tell her how you feel and make amends with her before it's too late."

Lupin noticed Ollie's growing discomfort and was quick to add in his two cents.

"All we're saying is, that we don't think anything less of you because of your…looks," he stammered, looking at his scar underneath Ollie's eye and trying not to.

He flushed and continued.

"You are no monster, you are not a beast, Ollie, you are a man, and it's time you started seeing yourself as such. You are perfectly capable of having the things you've told us in past times that you've wanted: a family, a wife, a place to call home. You're the only one standing in your way telling yourself you can't."

With a groan as he rose from the roof from where he had knelt to look their friend in the eye, he motioned for Tonks to join him, sensing the aching heartbreak in the much younger man's eyes.

"Just think about it. You should apologize to the girl. She's done nothing to you, and this might be your one shot at happiness, Ollie."

Ollie didn't bother to correct her as they headed back for home. He ached when he saw his partner smile.

He wanted it to be directed towards him.

For him. Because of him. He wanted to be the one to bring Norah joy, to be the source of those lit eyes that had bewitched him and her brilliant, dimpled smile that made his heart pound against its chest so hard it was like a rock rattling in a box.

He'd watched her throughout the course of a single evening bring so much happiness to others.

She was a woman who knew how to find beauty in others, even perhaps, especially, when that person could not see it in themselves.

Norah tried so hard to do well. She worked hard. She wanted to fly, and now she was soaring, but that did not stop his feelings.

He was afraid for her, what would become of her because she had dared to get close to him and befriend him and…she had kissed him. Several times now, even just on the cheek, as a matter of fact, and now…this.

He was so afraid that she would crash, and that Ollie would have to watch it happen to her. He ached to think there would be no way for him to help her if she did. Ollie had been content to watch her tonight.

It became almost an immediate source of guilt for him and he hated it.

If he had no place in her life, then why did he want to be near her so much?

If she noticed, Ollie was scared what Norah Jameson thought of him. He had never been heartbroken before, preferring to keep women at arm's length.

Not because he didn't want a relationship, but because he was a danger to society just from his namesake and admittedly something of an explosive temper.

For that, sometimes he was glad he knew that she would not. They could never be together, not in the way he truly wanted.

That was probably a good thing, he mused bitterly, just as another gust of wind tousled his ginger hair in a cold burst of wind. On their date tomorrow to Sperry's, what would she think of him?

That's what scared him the most, he knew it. For just a split second, he was wondering if it was better that they do not meet at all, that she leaves the Order while she still had a chance.

Maybe it would be better for Norah if he let her fade away from his life, back out of it like she had never been there.

But even as the thought crossed his mind, he knew that he could not do such a foolish thing. He couldn't let go.

Ollie wanted to be there, next to her, to hold her hand, to feel the soft, smooth skin of her palm entwined with his own. To dry her tears if ever she cried. To take the pain and anger he knew that she hid so well from others.

Yet, here he sat, not moving a muscle, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of tomorrow. To develop an unattainable desire was not wise, this he knew.

He knew it the minute he'd helped her off the ground and saved her life from that wretched Death Eater, this was a dangerous game he was playing, and it would be better for both parties if he quit it and left the girl alone in peace.

But the ache wouldn't fade, and thoughts of her refused to leave his mind.

Like it or not, as he stayed up late into the early hours of the morning ruminating over the swirling vortex of confused emotions and thoughts running through his mind, he knew that he was smitten with the blonde werewolf.

Merlin help me, he thought, anguished.

But as usual, no one listened.

I love it when Tonks and Lupin can give good advice. Coming up, the next chapter is their much anticipated date night, but will it go exactly according to plan?