It's Fire Friday, yo!
Thank you again for all the help, A and Fox, you guys are awesome 3
I'll let you guys get on with the chapter and chat your ears off after hihi
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Sakura woke up the next day alone in her bed. Pakkun and Kakashi were nowhere to be seen and she couldn't smell them in the room, which meant they left some time before. She could, however, smell Kakashi on her bedsheets.
Sakura stared at the pillow Kakashi had occupied and frowned, thinking a bit hysterically that maybe she should be feeling… more than she actually was. She should be freaking out, she should be scared, she should be at the very least annoyed that he had bailed on her before she woke up.
And that was another thing. Even while safe inside Konoha within her sealed walls with Tsunade down the hall, Sakura generally woke up with sounds inside the mansion and even outside in the forest, her ninja instincts never quite asleep even if she was. Sakura hadn't noticed Kakashi leaving. Either the mere presence of him had been enough to assure her subconscious there was no need for waking up because he was there or sleeping next to him after almost two weeks of fitful sleep had put her in such a deep state of sleep that even her instincts hadn't been present to wake her up.
Either way, Sakura should probably be more freaked out than she was.
Instead, she got up and headed to the kitchen to make herself some tea. The clock on the wall read ten o'clock and Sakura knew she wouldn't find her shishou inside the house, so she made breakfast for herself only and thanked fuck it was a Sunday and she technically had an off day from the office.
After eating, cleaning and putting away breakfast, Sakura went back to her room and stripped her bed of its sheets.
The thing was, even if Sakura herself wasn't as spooked as Kakashi, she would bet every single one of her possessions that Kakashi would try and pull another disappearing act. And she really didn't need to be smelling him on her sheets every night she went to sleep while he proceeded to ignore her around the village. Especially since she wasn't kidding about them being partnered up in the future and she didn't need this reminder to further destabilise Inner in her compartmentalization.
Sakura was walking the bundle of sheets to the laundry room when she felt the chakra signature of someone outside. Completely confused and frankly blindsided, Sakura touched her hand to a wall to activate the seal and grant him passage.
She realised a little too late that she was still holding her bedsheets when Neji rounded the corner from the kitchen.
"Neji…" Sakura trailed off, unsure how to react. They hadn't set up a time to meet and even though they had been strictly exclusive for the past five months, they didn't make it a habit to show up uninvited to each other's house.
"We need to talk," he said, voice even more guarded than his face.
Usually, his manners wouldn't have let him even enter the house without her having to greet him at the door and the first thing out of his mouth was always some sort of pleasantry. Sakura saw the way his milky white eyes dropped from her face to the bundle in her hands and back up. He now had the slightest of furrows between his brows.
"Neji, I—" Sakura cut herself off and shook her head a bit. "Do you want to go to the living room? We can sit and—"
"Here is fine, Sakura," Neji cut her off not unkindly but decisively unyielding. Sakura warily put the bundle of sheets outside the door of the laundry room to her left and stepped closer to him.
Neji didn't exactly step away from her but there was a subtle tension in his frame that hadn't been there before. Sakura frowned.
"I heard about the mission," Neji started, his speech halted and in complete contrast to the smoothly polite way he usually spoke. "It's all that could be heard at the jounin headquarters this past week."
Neji clenched his jaw and Sakura tried to find the words to say something, anything, but they wouldn't come. In the end, Neji kept going.
"I think it would probably be for the best if we took a step back," he said simply, something coming over his features quite like acceptance. Sakura frowned, confused as to why he would say that just because of a cover for a mission and it must have shown on her face because he raised an eyebrow at her. "I know he spent the night here, Sakura."
Sakura's breath caught in her throat and Neji's eyes flickered slightly to where she had placed her sheets. Even though she was confused as hell about what was going on with Kakashi, she knew how it would look for him.
"Nothing happened," she muttered, not knowing if she was being truthful or not. Because, yes, nothing had happened in any physical way but it certainly wasn't normal for two ninja to be falling asleep like that entwined with each other.
Sakura's breath sped up as she looked at Neji's face, not wanting to end what they had but knowing deep down that it was unfair of her to just put him on the shelf and then take him out to take her frustrations on. Ever since a few months ago where they had started going out more frequently, there had only been him. And Sakura cared for him. Maybe not in a way that would have developed into something romantic but she did care for him and the thought of hurting him…
Neji hummed, nodded his head once and searched her face with his milky eyes.
"I don't suppose it did…" Neji said softly and Sakura was glad he seemed to believe her even if she hadn't exactly done the best job of explaining things. His face suddenly relaxed into something soft and affectionate, an expression she had only seen directed at her a few times so far. "Don't look so sad, Sakura. We both knew this wasn't something that would last forever."
Sakura nodded, the tension between her brows furthering and she got the insane need to cry all of a sudden. She didn't want to end things with him like this, especially since she knew there was nothing waiting for her on the other side. It was surely selfish of her to wish to hold on to him knowing that she would let go as soon as she had something else to latch on to but Sakura wished things could just go back to normal.
"I'm sorry," she said instead, her voice just barely above a whisper.
Neji stepped closer to her then, his scent enveloping her as he held her jaw with one hand and pressed a light kiss to the centre of her forehead.
"Good luck, Sakura," he said, stepping back. You're going to need it, went unsaid but Sakura heard it all the same. There was a small grin on his face now, like he somehow found the situation amusing and Sakura just knew he was laughing a bit at her expense. "Don't disappear. I'll see you at Mozuku's birthday, don't forget it's at the end of next month."
Neji shunshined away and Sakura was glad that he didn't see the way tears gathered in her eyes.
Even though the whole thing wasn't that big of a deal, Sakura still felt emotional, like it would take the slightest of inconveniences for her to have a bit of a breakdown.
It was selfish of her, she fucking knew that. It still didn't stop her from feeling like she had fucked up and wishing things could just be cool for a bit. Sakura was scared of how easy it would be on her part to fall for Kakashi and fall hard and she also knew that it would be the complete opposite for him. Neji had been a constant for her that she needed in her life, something simple and easy and comforting.
Sakura sighed harshly, rubbed her hands over her face even more harshly and turned around to finally get to her laundry.
She pushed her feelings to the back of her mind and focused on her chores. Sakura cleaned every single part of the Senju Estate, ignoring the group of genin that had gawked at her as she did, dishevelled and still in her silly pink cat pyjamas. Since it was a Sunday, they would have been sent here by Tsunade to clean the place but Sakura simply signed their scroll and sent them away.
She showered utilitarily, using her chakra to block her nose from detecting any scents instead of using it to enhance it. The last thing she needed was to smell Kakashi there. She pushed the thought away violently. Sakura dried herself and put on her ANBU uniform, craving the anonymity of it for the day.
She made her hair the usual dark auburn she used for Wolf, matched her chakra to that of a bird's and shunshined to just outside Tsunade's office. She placed her hand on the red wall and used the tiniest amount of chakra to keep herself stuck to it.
"Tenzou-taichou," Sakura said to the wall. "Could you please help me out?"
Tenzou unstuck himself from the wall, dropping his camouflage jutsu so he could tilt his head towards her in question. Sakura knew that Team Ro would be on guard duty that day and it must have alarmed everyone that she would address them while they were on duty.
Sakura was beyond fucking caring.
"Is everything okay, Wolf-taichou?" he asked, concern masked in his monotone voice.
"Everything is cool." Sakura waved her free hand lackadaisically. She could feel Tsunade moving around her office as if she was about to open the window but stopping short. Sakura continued, "Could you make me a big wooden pole? And a platform big enough so I could sit on it?"
Sakura unstuck her hand from the wall and held herself only by her feet as she spread her arms as far as they would go to indicate she wanted a big pole.
"I—Wolf, what?" Tenzou stuttered and Genma snickered from where he was camouflaged on Sakura's other side. Tenzou took a deep breath, readying himself to deal with his team's eccentricities. "Sure."
Tenzou made the seals and created a thin pole, three times Sakura's height before creating a square piece of wood that must have taken some great chakra control to achieve. He handed them to Sakura.
"Do you want them to be stuck together?" he asked and Sakura shook her head, putting the square beneath one arm and the pole beneath the other.
"Nope, this is cool. Thanks, Tenzou-taichou." She smiled at him even though she knew he wouldn't be able to see and gave an awkward nod of her head. "Ja!"
Sakura shunshined back to the Senju Estate, directly on top of the roof. It was the same pagoda style as the outpost on the border with Water but much more extravagant and silly in Sakura's opinion. She climbed to the very tip of it in the centre and stuck the wooden pole to it with chakra.
The exercise of getting to the very top and balancing herself cross legged on top of the small square had been hard when she was younger, but nowadays it felt like second nature to Sakura. It was Sakura's favourite form of meditation, and she usually did it with a clone or two next to her doing the same thing. That day, she would need the extra concentration that having the clones didn't leave room for.
Sakura dropped her mask between her legs and let go of the genjutsu keeping her hair auburn before closing her eyes. She created a concentration seal and let the wind drift through her loose hair.
Finalizing her Byakugou seal had been exhilarating and fantastic but Sakura needed to be able to control it. It wouldn't do to go about passing out every time a battle was finished.
Tsunade had said that it was only the first time that her system wasn't still accustomed to having so much chakra in it and then cutting it down but Sakura didn't want to take any chances. She would give herself some time to get used to this seal and then move to the next one. With enough chakra control, there were other tenketsu that she could make into Byakugou seals and she would take full advantage of that in the future.
For now, meditation.
Sakura focused on the flow of her chakra inside of herself, the direction it took, the speed at which it left her tenketsu and circled her whole body. When she was ready, she released the seal on her forehead slowly, almost as if she was creaking a tap open just the slightest bit so it would start to drip.
The warmth spread across her forehead but didn't go further and Sakura knew the mark of the seal had spread there. She focused on the feeling of her chakra, noticing how it was so much warmer than usual. Like her normal chakra pathways was a circling pool of cool water and someone suddenly turned on the hot tap.
Sakura noticed how the pathways inside her head dilated to accommodate the sudden influx of chakra and that got her thinking. Were her chakra pathways getting bigger every time she activated the seal like her veins did when filled with oxygen and water? She wondered if she could expand her chakra reserves by doing this exercise.
The new warmer chakra stayed on her forehead as she only opened the seal minimally but it somehow influenced her own chakra, making more of it flow through her whole body.
Sakura felt curious about this new development, trying to figure out how to enhance the Byakugou seal and learn how to fully control it was going to be fun.
So far she knew that the chakra helped enhance her body and sped up cell regeneration if necessary. So if one cell died, another would be quickly formed by chakra alone and replace it. That way, any injury she was dealt would almost immediately heal but it would also impact the natural lives of her cells. Instead of it having a counted number of replications to perform, Sakura could keep it replicating infinitely, rendering her… Immortal.
Well, technically.
To achieve that, Sakura would have to keep the seal open at all times and that was counterproductive because she wouldn't have enough chakra to maintain it constantly active. Now that the seal was activated, though, the process of 'filling it up' was much easier than the four years of chakra storage she did before.
Those four years had served for her to give enough energy to the seal so it could run by itself. It worked as an enhanced type of tenketsu, generating chakra by itself.
Sakura kept meditating until the sun gave way to the moon in the sky. It wasn't completely dark, but she had had enough of meditation and ignoring her problems for the day. She could have kept going if it wasn't for the chakra signature that suddenly appeared on the roof next to her.
"Are you getting down from your perch anytime soon?" Yugao asked, her pretty purple hair billowing in the wind, cat mask still in place.
Sakura quickly jumped down and carefully set the pieces of wood in a way that they wouldn't fall down. She stepped closer to Yugao and watched as she cocked one hip and extended one hand with a plastic bag hanging from it.
"Hi," Sakura said before reaching out for the bag.
"Hey, Wolfie-chan," Yugao chuckled as Sakura opened the bag and raised her eyebrows.
Inside were the garish pair of fluffy socks she had bought the day before, a tub of ice cream and a pack of cigarettes. Sakura sighed.
"Toshio sent you to check up on me," Sakura guessed but didn't need the other woman's confirmation.
"He actually talked to all of Team Ro about what happened. You know he's a gossip." Yugao shrugged and Sakura rolled her eyes with a scoff. Toshio wasn't a gossip, but he did care for them and Sakura could only imagine how the night before must have looked for an outsider. "I told the boys I would handle this one."
Sakura averted her eyes to the rising moon and nodded once before closing the bag again and letting it hang by her side. She gave Yugao a crooked smile and tilted her chin up.
"Wanna get smashed?" she offered, making Yugao laugh.
The other woman put her arm around her shoulders and together the two of them jumped to the grass beneath them. Sakura walked with her senpai so they could get some of the sake bottles Tsunade kept around and then made their way to the living room.
They cracked open a bottle and the tub of ice cream and dove in with gusto. It was only after they had filled up a bit that Yugao decided to pry.
"So," she shot Sakura a look as they sat on opposite ends of the couch with their legs crossed and facing each other, "do you want to tell me what happened with senpai?"
Sakura pursed her lips, actually wanting to spill everything to Yugao but somehow refraining from doing so. No matter how much she would have liked some type of advice on that end, she couldn't tell Yugao about everything that had happened without revealing things that she really couldn't explain. So Sakura shook her head and busied herself with drinking more of the sake.
"It was nothing, that's not what I'm upset about," Sakura said and really she wasn't lying. She finished the bottle and they moved to the second one without saying anything.
"Well? Will I have to torture it out of you then?" Yugao smirked amusedly at her and Sakura scoffed. As if anyone could get anything out of her through torture. Yugao must have read her expression correctly because she laughed and snatched the bottle from Sakura to take some for herself. "Go on, Wolfie-chan, tell senpai everything."
Sakura sighed and pouted, sad that she couldn't keep living in the nice, comfortable land of denial and compartmentalization anymore.
"Neji broke up with me," she said at last and Yugao winced with a grimace.
"Oof," Yugao said, making Sakura huff an amused breath.
"Yeah." She shrugged. "It's okay, I guess. We weren't serious but… it was nice, you know?"
Sakura stole the bottle from Yugao to thoroughly indulge herself.
"Yeah, I know." Yugao nodded, looking as if she was thinking of something about the past. "It was like that when I stopped things with Kakashi-senpai. And Tenzou too, now that I think about it."
Sakura choked on the sake.
For a while she just sat there on the sofa, coughing up a storm as her cheeks got progressively hotter and her eyes watered.
"What?!" Sakura exclaimed when she caught her breath and Yugao simply laughed and shrugged. "I—Just, what?! I don't even know where to begin."
"It wasn't anything serious," Yugao teased, her eyes sparkling playfully. "Kakashi-senpai was all about the funny business and Tenzou… well, he got me, you know?"
Sakura stared wide eyed at her senpai and nodded her head slowly, trying to let her heart go back to its normal rhythm.
"So… Kakashi, huh?" Sakura asked, raising her eyebrows at Yugao. "How was that?"
The flush that blossomed on Yugao's pale cheeks did something funny to Sakura's belly.
"Intense," Yugao answered finally, "but we didn't get it on for long because I-well, I fell in love."
"With Kakashi?" Sakura asked, half-horrified and half-curious. The feeling of jealousy smacked her suddenly on the face and almost took her breath away. Sakura had felt like this before with Sasuke and Ino but this time, thankfully, none of the aggression was aimed at Yugao, just… Sakura felt jealous of the fact that she had experienced that type of closeness with the man when Sakura herself couldn't stop thinking about it ever since she had come back from a mission where his lips, his scent, his touch—
The box inside her head rattled and Inner gave it a firm kick until it quieted.
"God, no," Yugao laughed and Sakura wanted to kick herself for feeling so relieved, "Hayate. He was my kendo instructor in ANBU. The love of my life, really. And then came Tenzou."
"So~" Sakura wiggled her eyebrows at her senpai and giggled when the woman laughed. "You were smashing boots with our most esteemed captain all this time?"
"Oh, god, don't say it like that, Sakura," Yugao laughed and the two of them took a minute to drink some more. A fond look overcame Yugao's face then and she smiled a bit. "We helped each other get over the people we loved but couldn't be with."
Oh. That was surprisingly sad and sweet at the same time. Sakura wanted to ask more about it but didn't feel it would be right to pry into their business like that, especially since Tenzou wasn't there to consent to her knowing things and Yugao was probably drunk enough to tell. Sakura grabbed her senpai's hand and squeezed it.
"When did the two of you end things?" Sakura asked, hoping this wasn't some boundary she was crossing.
"Two months ago, actually," Yugao answered unconcernedly and shrugged when Sakura winced.
"That soon," Sakura whispered. "Is it hard being on the same team?"
"Not at all," Yugao smiled. "We're friends and we've been teammates for a long while. Nothing could change that."
Sakura nodded and thought about that. It was quite common, really, for teammates to get together like that. The kind of bonds forged with blood and sacrifice were hard to let go of and the adrenaline in the battlefield was a great aphrodisiac. Sakura was just surprised she hadn't noticed any of it going on. She wondered what else she had missed.
They drank a while more before Sakura realised that they had almost finished with three bottles of sake and Tsunade would be pissed if the only thing left to drink in the house was the stupidly expensive brand she kept around for celebrations. When she told Yugao that, the woman quickly got up to head out.
They put themselves back together in their ANBU uniforms and Sakura went without the genjutsu in her hair, uncaring that people around the village saw her now that her involvement in ANBU had gotten out. It's not like Kakashi or Yugao kept their hair hidden, anyway.
They walked arm in arm, each trying to keep the other upright as Sakura stuck her mask to the side of her head with chakra so she could smoke. She got a few teasing remarks about it from Yugao but the two of them walked through the training fields to the store at the edge of the village slowly and enjoying the cool autumn air.
"Are you going to tell me about Neji, then?" Yugao asked after Sakura had gotten a few drags in. Sakura hummed noncommittally and Yugao snorted. "You know, you don't need to be so closed off about your romantic life like that. At least not with us."
"I'm not closed off!" Sakura exclaimed and Yugao shot her a look that said really?
Sakura frowned in thought and sucked anxiously on her cigarette. She guessed she hadn't made a point to announce things like Ino usually did with her and Tenten. She liked to think it was because she didn't really care that much about the romantic aspect of her life but a part of her knew that was a lie.
The thing was Sakura didn't want people to think that's all she cared about. Like if she said something about who she was going out with it would suddenly revert her back to the lovesick idiot she was at twelve. It was a stupid thing to believe in but it was true all the same. Sakura glared at Yugao for making her realise this about herself and snorted when the woman raised her eyebrows in triumph. Bitch.
"I feel selfish," Sakura sighed, resigned that she would have to talk about it. "I didn't want to end things with him even though I knew we didn't have a future, all because I don't want to be completely alone.
"And you want to know what's worse? I care about him, okay? I want him to be able to be with someone who loves him and cherishes him and I know that someone won't be me. I can't be that person. It's fucking pointless to even want that in this life we lead but—" Sakura cut herself off and took a deep breath before exhaling harshly.
"But you still want that, just not with him," Yugao finished for her, her voice impossibly soft. Sakura shrugged as she took a calming drag and watched the smoke rise. They could see the store in the distance when Yugao stopped her and turned her around by the shoulders. "It's not stupid."
Sakura scoffed.
"It's not stupid and it's not pointless, Sakura," Yugao said more firmly, this time even going as far as shaking Sakura a bit. "I know you had a bad go at it but love is one of the things that makes us stronger. You can't go giving up on it, especially because you're an amazing ninja and you'll probably live a ridiculously long life compared to others."
"We don't exactly have excellent life expectancy, senpai," Sakura said around the cigarette in her mouth but almost dropped it when Yugao shook her again.
"Stop being obtuse, it doesn't suit you!" Yugao let go with one hand to flick Sakura in her forehead. "With this and your medical ninjutsu abilities do you really think you'll die young, Wolfie-chan? Because if you do, you're a fool."
Sakura narrowed her eyes in irritation at being shaken around and assaulted but Yugao was unyielding. Sakura sighed and nodded her head in acceptance. The bitch was right.
"Good. Now remember this because it's important." Yugao caught her eyes and Sakura couldn't look away when she saw the way they were shining with the beginnings of tears. "I lost the love of my life four years ago. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye."
Sakura's eyes widened at the emotion in her senpai's voice and face. The two of them had definitely had too much to drink. It wasn't always that Yugao brought up Hayate like that.
"Sakura, I don't regret a single part of it. I loved him with all my heart, I felt the love he had for me in my bones and it was beautiful. Once you get to experience that, you'll see what I mean." Yugao's words weren't delivered in a way that would make Sakura feel like a child as it would have if she heard it from someone else. Instead, Sakura had to fight the urge to hug the woman.
"I don't want to waste any more of my time looking for it and losing sight of who I am," Sakura whispered, the words coming out of her without her consent but she felt no regret for them.
"You don't have to. It will come to you naturally, I'm positive," Yugao said with such assuredness that Sakura didn't find it in her to not believe it. The woman smiled reassuringly at her and squeezed her shoulders before letting go. "You just need to keep your eyes opened so that when it comes, you don't let it go."
And with that they continued on their way to Unmei-baasan's store while Sakura finished her cigarette.
Sakura replayed Yugao's words in her head as they bought what they needed before making their way back to the Senju Estate. She had told Ino a few years ago that the notion that love cured all was that of little girls. She still believed in that, love couldn't fix everything wrong and even when there was plenty of love, things could still fall apart like they had for Yugao and Hayate.
But she had never considered the fact that having found someone to love would make the pain that would inevitably come in the end worth it. Wasn't that life? They all knew that they would die and it would undoubtedly end in tragedy and heartache. Sakura was still a firm believer that she would die on the battlefield even with the Byakugou seal and that was how she wanted it to be. But still…
Wasn't it better that she enjoy every single thing life had to offer before then? If she found love, wouldn't it be better to hold on to it as tight as she could rather than run from it because she was scared of getting hurt? Sakura put that thought in the back of her mind but still, she wondered.
When they got back to Sakura's home, they bumped into Tsunade in the kitchen. She looked at Sakura and Yugao with a raised eyebrow until her eyes caught on the bags in their hands.
"Are you throwing a party?" Tsunade asked sarcastically and Sakura snorted.
"Neji broke up with her," Yugao offered and Sakura threw a glare in her direction for her efforts. Tsunade hummed.
"Was that why you were bothering my guards earlier?" Tsunade teased but Sakura could see that she was being searched for any signs of hurt and need for comfort. Sakura gave her shishou a wide reassuring grin.
"I just wanted to keep them on their toes, Shishou."
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The day after, Tsunade told her that a meeting would happen in their house. As in, Tsunade suddenly appeared with Shizune, Genma, Yugao and Kakashi saying that Tenzou was getting the members of their council so they could have a meeting. While Sakura was having a late dinner. In her loungewear.
Sakura stopped chewing and just watched as they all went past her to the living room. She sighed, put her chopsticks down and followed them, trying to decide if she should go change but decided against it in the end. They were the ones in her living room at half past ten at night on a Monday. They could very well deal with her in her dark green house yukata. Although, she would have been more comfortable if it wasn't that short. Still. Whatever.
Sakura crossed her arms as she eyed her friends and Tsunade.
"What's this about?" If Team Ro was there and they were getting the council… Were they finally bringing the team into the fold? Sakura exchanged glances with Tsunade and refrained from looking at Kakashi.
"We have some things to decide and I think it's better if we keep Team Ro in the know." Tsunade sat in one of their armchairs while Shizune stood behind her, Kakashi leaned against the far wall and Genma and Yugao sat on the couch.
Sakura sat on the arm Genma was closest to and rubbed the scar on her eyebrow absentmindedly.
"And Keiichi?" The man wasn't there and Tsunade hadn't mentioned him so she could only assume he wasn't to be invited into the fold.
"I'll schedule for him to teach some more workshops whenever needed. I don't trust his loyalty to the Hyuga's," Tsunade said simply, making Sakura nod.
She got it, really. While she was sure Keiichi would gladly give his life for her like every member of Team Ro, she still wasn't sure it would be the same if it came to protect someone from the main branch. Sakura sighed imperceptibly and eyed Kakashi for the first time that night.
She was surprised to see his gaze was already on her, his eye following the motion of her finger scratching at her scar. Sakura dropped her hand and his eye snapped to hers. The grey of his eye seemed darker that night, maybe because of the relatively dim lighted room, she wasn't sure, but it still induced a shiver which she hurried to suppress
Kakashi diverted his gaze before she could think more of it.
They hadn't spoken since he left her bed while she was still asleep the day before and Sakura was scared he would pull completely away and disappear on her. She wasn't sure what exactly had happened that night but she wasn't about to question the best night of sleep she had in weeks.
Sakura felt the heavy weight of Genma and Yugao's looks, alternating between her and Kakashi and probably noticing they had chosen opposite sides of the room to be in. Of course, Toshio had told them about the fight he had witnessed and the two of them were curious about what had happened. Well, they were about to find out.
While they waited, Sakura took the time to notice the loaded looks Shizune and Genma exchanged and raised her eyebrow at Yugao to see if the woman saw it too. Her senpai smirked slightly at her and it was all the confirmation Sakura needed. She narrowed her eyes, the earlier thought she had in the day returning to her. Just how much hadn't she seen and wasn't in the know?
Tenzou arrived just outside the door, leading the council they created through a tunnel underground that opened up into their foyer. Shikaku, Inoichi and Ibiki all filed into the room behind him and took their place around the room. Shikaku and Inoichi shared the other sofa while Tenzou leaned against the wall next to Kakashi, and Ibiki against the wall nearest Sakura.
"Well, now that you're all here we can begin," Tsunade said, leaning back against her armchair. "First, let's all catch Team Ro up with what we found out and then we can proceed to our real discussion for today."
Tsunade explained everything that had happened with the Uchiha clan, the situation with Itachi, their plans to capture Danzo and dismantle Root, and to deal with the Elders' involvement. Team Ro waited in stunned silence for her to finish and Genma was the first one who spoke.
"Did you know Itachi…" he asked, looking at Kakashi who shook his head.
"I found out a few nights ago." Kakashi ran his hand through his hair in frustration as Genma turned his shocked stare towards Sakura and opened his mouth. Before he could say anything, Kakashi continued, "Sakura was the one who found out about it through the Sandaime's personal journal."
Hearing her name on his lips sent a jolt through Sakura's system that she wasn't expecting given the seriousness of the situation. She frowned at this, her gaze meeting Kakashi's briefly before forcing herself to look back at Genma and shutting the door on the delicious feeling that wrecked down her spine at hearing her name like that.
Sakura was thankfully brought out of her traitorous thoughts when Genma abruptly stood up. He turned to grab her arm and Sakura's whole body tensed up in response without her consent. She forced herself to relax when he hugged her. It was a hug that was more him trying to squeeze the life out of her other than anything but it was a hug nonetheless.
"That day…" Genma muttered on the top of her head. "That day at the bar, this was what you were talking about, wasn't it? You've known all this time and… Goddamn it, Princess, I'm sorry you had to deal with this alone."
Sakura's eyes widened as her face was smashed on his shoulder. In no time, Yugao had joined in on the hug from behind her and Tenzou placed a hand on top of her head. Sakura swallowed, her throat suddenly tight.
"I wasn't alone, Jiji," she tried to force some levity to her voice but it was ruined by the need to clear her throat.
"Damn right she wasn't," Tsunade called and Team Ro seemed to reluctantly let go of her. Sakura felt strangely cold when they all went back to their positions and she couldn't fight with the urge to look at Kakashi. His face was softer than it had been since they came back from the mission and it made Sakura's stomach flutter uncomfortably. "We don't have much time to be here without raising suspicions."
"What's this meeting about?" Ibiki's raspy voice cut through the happiness inside Sakura's chest like ice. She turned to fully face Tsunade, dread pooling in her stomach.
"Homura and Koharu asked for Usui to be placed in the council, officially," Tsunade said, a furrow between her brows. Her golden gaze settled on everyone before she continued. "Do any of you have any reason to suspect he would be on Danzo's side?"
"Usui practically raised us, Hokage-sama," it was Yugao that first rose to his defence but all the other members of Team Ro chimed in in agreement.
"Be that as it may, it's suspicious that the elders would recommend him for the seat," Shikaku said, his hands fiddling with a smoke he wouldn't dare light inside Tsunade's living room.
"Especially since now they're technically outnumbered inside the council," Inoichi agreed, scratching at his chin. "If the ANBU commander is on their side, then they'd be able to come with a tie at the least."
Sakura frowned, thinking this through carefully. She ran through every memory inside her head with Inner's help, deciphering Toshio's mannerisms and actions, the way he spoke and reacted to the things around him. How he treated his operatives. Sakura already knew deep down the answer to this.
"Usui Toshio is perhaps one of the most loyal ninja to Konoha," Sakura said, capturing the room's attention. "I would bet my life he knows something about Danzo and is strictly against it."
She felt everyone's heavy gaze on her. Tsunade leaned her elbows on the arms of the chair and crossed her fingers beneath her chin.
"What do you know?" she asked.
"Think about it. After the Kyuubi's attack, Toshio, a recently widowed man, made sure that all of the orphan children under his care were taken care of. He didn't let any of his fall through the cracks. I think that's because he knew what would happen if he let them out of his sight." Sakura took a deep breath, looked at all of Team Ro before continuing. "He didn't just draft them deeper into ANBU and housed them in the barracks either. He made sure they had all signed contracts to own units in the new buildings, which would take them out of the shadows permanently. They wouldn't be able to go missing suddenly without at least someone noticing and raising a flag."
Sakura watched as everyone considered her points for a few beats before she continued.
"There's also how he treated me when I was first drafted into ANBU, that year that I wasn't a fully fledged operative yet." Sakura gave her shishou a little smirk. "He wanted to go over you the day he asked me to sign the contract with them and I think it's because he didn't trust you. That means, he didn't trust the Hokage. Don't you think that implies he would have known of a Hokage that had royally fucked up?"
Sakura knew she was crossing a line disrespecting their ancestors like that but she hadn't been taught how to back down. Inoichi seemed ready to interfere but Tsunade raised a hand.
"Let her continue," she barked, paying complete attention to Sakura.
"There's also something that always stuck to me. The medical-ninjutsu workshops we started a few years ago was a draft he had during the Yondaime's era. He said every single Hokage had rejected it before you came along." Sakura's smile was growing bigger now, she was absolutely certain she was right. "Toshio didn't have another reason for putting me in his ranks other than to make sure his operatives stayed alive. That's the same reason he drafted that workshop idea and now wants to incorporate the training in the ANBU training regime. He cares about his operatives, I'm absolutely certain he would stand on our side."
There were a few beats of silence as people considered her points and then Tsunade nodded.
"I trust your judgement." She nodded again, her voice final. "This means we have the upper hand, then. The Elders' plan will backfire."
"We could use this to our advantage," Shikaku said, fingers still playing with his unlit cigarette. "We can make them believe the Commander is on their side and give them that false sense of security while we plan our moment to strike."
Sakura hummed in agreement, she was liking this plan already.
"When it goes to vote, only Shikaku and Inoichi should vote not to put him there," Sakura said slowly, her mind working in overdrive to decide what's the best course of action. "The two of you were the ones who the Elders suspected that shishou had ulterior motives when appointed as councilmembers. They already think Ibiki was put there solely to throw the Hyugas off your scent, if we play this right, we can make them think they would have both Toshio and Ibiki on their side."
Ibiki barked a laugh and Tsunade shot her one of her fierce smiles.
"I like the way you think, girl," Ibiki said, his face twisted into a smile that sent shivers down Sakura's spine. "Playing mind games with fools is always entertaining."
Sakura couldn't help the laugh that escaped her at that. She let Inner project some of the danger she held inside herself when she smirked at him and it only made his smile grow.
"There's just one thing I don't understand," Tsunade sighed, running a hand through her bangs restlessly. "Why would they even think he's someone they could have on their side?"
"The way you're perceived dictates how free you are to act on your own beliefs," Kakashi said in a way that made Sakura believe he had heard that sentence many times before. "Usui always knew how to play the game, that's how he stayed the ANBU Commander through three different Hokage. At this point, I believe the Elders assumed he knew what had happened and didn't care or had been successfully manipulated."
"They think they can manipulate him again," Sakura said, nodding to herself. "Just like they thought they could manipulate you, Shishou."
Tsunade scoffed at the absurdity of it and Sakura agreed with the sentiment. Those old fools had certainly made their bed and Sakura would make sure they laid in it.
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Lots and lots of things to discuss! Oof, sorry in advance.
First of all, please take a look at the end of chapter 37 (over on AO3) to see the newest fanart Daughter of Fire has! I linked her profile there but you can find her at preeshera for her personal blog and preeshera-art over on Tumblr! I would really appreciate it if you guys took some time to give her some love, maybe take the time you guys would use to review this chapter and go over on Tumblr to reblog her art? I know sometimes we just don't have the time. Over on Instagram there's a speed painting (is that what it's called? lol i dunno) of the art for chapter 37. I already said this to you when you surprised me with this amazing art but thank you so so much, bro, you have no idea how happy it makes me when my art inspires others to create art.
Welcome, welcome to all the new readers! I saw MANY comments saying you guys binge read this in like? A day? Two? Oh wow! You guys are insane, thank you so much for all the love, I love y'all ;-; I'm so happy to share this wild ride with you guys, really tysm for all the support 3 We still have a long way to go, oops
This chapter was very heavy on the emotional part but I wanted to talk about the end scene, actually. This was always my plan for the Commander and I'm so glad I finally got to put it very explicitly just what he was up to all of these chapters. I hope you can see in my writing all of these nuances to his character, I know in the beginning most of you were very sus of him but that was also my intention hahah "The way you're perceived dictates how free you are to act on your own beliefs," is a sentence that I find describes Toshio well and Kakashi too (duh, ofc, he learned it from Usui) and it's FINALLY out there in the open lmfao. You guys know by now that I'm very reluctant when it comes to OC's but I felt like his character (not only the ANBU Commander as the person behind the dog mask and cape that we see in the anime but also a character that was old enough to experience everything that happened years before but smart enough to stay alive) was sorely missed in canon. I mean, yeah it makes sense that ninja don't live to see old age and the kyuubi attack killed MANY of the old guard but... what about shinobi like Unmei-san that had an injury that put them out of action? What about the shinobi that weren't in the village during the attack? What about smart, slippery fuckers like Usui that managed to stay on top and do what was necessary despite bureaucracy and wasn't completely bound by the system enough to see that the Hokage was a figure and not a god?
Anyway.
Ooh did you guys pay attention to the meditation scene? It's kinda important bc I made some changes to how the Byakugou seal works. All explained canonically with the good ol' "it's different for everyone," bs bc well... isn't it? I mainly made those tiny changes because: 1. I wanted to; 2. There's really a suspicious lack of information when it comes to the seal (hmmm... almost as if Kishi-sensei didn't bother with it?...) and 3. I don't like that out of the Sannin, Tsunade is the only one that has real consequences to her god-like abilities. Jiraiya gets ugly when he uses the sage mode and Orochimaru is... evil? But for Tsunade it's just like: "oh lol ur gonna die early :)" Yeah, I call bullshit.
On the topic of the Sannin and tying back to what I was saying before, I view Tsunade, Orochimaru, Jiraiya, Usui and Sakumo kind of like the old guard, (I'm saying just those five bc they will be the more important in this series but there's ofc many more like Might Dai) and imo it's basically like this: Tsunade, Orochimaru and Jiraiya never loved Konoha enough to stay. Sure, they all had their reasons to leave but in the end that's what it boils down to. Imo, ofc. Sakumo was probably the one who loved Konoha the most and having that love met with hate was what finished breaking him in the end. And Usui... I pictured a lot of Kakashi and Sakura in Usui. He loves Konoha with all of his being but he's not above doing what's necessary to keep that love alive even if it means going against orders. He was also the one left behind, a bit like Kakashi and Sakura. I could write a lot on Sakumo's relationship with the Sannin and Usui but... I only have like 600 characters left. Lol. Sorry.
Love y'all, please don't hate me for the ridiculously long AN! ;-;