"What're you doing here?" Penny asked, looking up into Lupin's eyes, unsure of how she felt yet.
He had not written to her, though there was so doubt in Penny's mind that he knew about her conversation with Sirius. Lupin kept information to himself, on purpose, and his not trying to discuss it with her before now hurt Penny. Every time she'd tried to pen a letter to him, she could not find the words to express what she felt. Him standing before her made it all the more difficult. She still felt the pull, the need to be near him, but she was wary of him and knew he felt it, his eyes somber watching her put unnatural distance between them.
From the corner of her eyes she saw Snape smirk, which angered Penny. What did he have to smirk about? If anything, Penny was a thousand times angrier with Snape than Lupin. It was that blasted man who sent her magic spiraling out of her control, yet again and into this mess. And of course the grownups wanted to talk now . How very inconvenient of them when all Penny was interested in was finding Harry.
"To rectify a very poor decision I made, before you have to suffer anymore for it," Lupin said, pulling a chair out for Penny to take.
"Please sit, Miss Potter," Dumbledore said.
"But sir, I'm covered in dirt. I wouldn't want to cover your chair in filth," Penny said, trying to pat her robes clean.
"I am not worried in the slightest, the man who sold it to me assured me it was dirt and child proof. Needless to say, I think I speak for all of us here when I say, I am very glad to see you before me covered in dirt and branches rather than injured," Dumbledore said pleasantly, but there was a seriousness that hid behind his half-moon spectacles.
"Where did you end up, Penny?" Lupin asked, taking the seat beside her and turning it to face her.
"Somewhere in the Forbidden Forest, Moody found me near the edge, he said someone attacked Krum," Penny answered, glancing at Lupin but being unable to hold his gaze.
"Yes, today seems to be full of the unexpected. You saw no one else in the forest with you?" Dumbledore asked.
"I didn't see any other wizards, but I ran into a centaur, he said his name was Firenze," Penny answered.
She looked at Dumbledore, but did not like holding the Headmaster's gaze for too long. However, avoiding Snape to the right of Dumbledore and Lupin to her own right proved very challenging, so she opted for staring at a spot on his desk.
"How fortunate that it was Firenze that found you and not another," said Dumbledore.
"He said the same thing, among a few other strange things," Penny replied.
"He had words for you, did he?" Dumbledore said, looking toward Lupin.
"He seemed to think so, but they made little sense to me. He said something about not being able to see my 'path,' whatever that is. But apparently, he could see the one my path is connected to, and then he gave me some weird omen about only being able to undo something through death and I have to undo it or succumb to death," Penny said, racking her brain for the exact words Firenze had spoken. It proved much harder than she anticipated.
Dumbledore looked thoughtful as his fingers stroked his long beard.
"The wisdom of the centaurs is nothing like that of ours, so there is no use trying to interpret the meaning of his words." Dumbledore finally said.
Snape did not seem to like Dumbledore's response because he crossed his arms and turned to look out the window, a vein throbbing in his temple. Dumbledore ignored the gesture, blue eyes fixed on Penny.
"Centaurs do not part with their words lightly, Penny, if Firenze sought you out, and believe me, a centaur is never anywhere by accident, then you would be wise to not forget those words."
Penny nodded, finally turning to Lupin, who looked grave. However, when he noticed Penny watching him, his features smoothed and he gave her a small smile.
"I wouldn't worry too much about it Penny, like Dumbledore said, what centaurs intend and what we hear are two very different things. You may even find you go through your entire life without ever understanding what Firenze was speaking of," Lupin said, lightly, though he did not convince her. If anything, the tension coming from the three of them made Penny more nervous about Firenze's words than she had been originally.
"Right." Penny said, uncertain what she was supposed to say in such a situation.
"As I'm certain you are wondering, I asked Professor Snape and Lupin here to talk about your expression," Dumbledore said.
In truth Penny hadn't actually realized there was any particular reason for their waiting for her. She'd learned not to expect much from them in terms of information regarding herself and experiences with expression, but the look in Dumbledore's eyes now gave her the slightest bit of hope that might change.
"Oh, I assumed I was in trouble for. . ." Penny said awkwardly, turning to Snape.
"In trouble, why would you be in trouble?" Lupin said, sounding worried and glazing at Snape as well.
Snape finally turned away from the window to observe Penny who was looking tentatively back at him.
"Ms. Potter, under the current circumstances, I hardly find it necessary to revisit what happened. I am merely here at the request of the Headmaster, and not to continue our previous discussion," Snape said stiffly.
Lupin's brows furrowed and he looked intensely interested in what might have transpired between Snape and Penny, but he bit his tongue and remained silent. Penny, also didn't feel inclined to relay the events that had transpired, so she followed Snape's lead and remained silent.
"I asked Lupin here because of his expertise. While I would have preferred for this to have been a more natural conversation between you and Professor Snape, I fear that waiting will only result in more harm than good," Dumbledore said, turning his head to meet the severe gaze of Snape.
"What have you been keeping from me, Dumbledore, and why was he privy to it?" Snape said, his voice suddenly cold as he shot an angry look at Lupin.
"It was not mine to share, Severus, and it was Penny who decided to share it with Remus, which you will agree was her choice. I will admit, I purposefully avoided encouraging her to approach you because of the complicated nature of your relationship, and I'd hoped she'd have a few more years to come to terms with who she is before she being required to embark on what comes next," Dumbledore said in a very unapologetic tone.
Snape's eyes narrowed on Dumbledore, who did not waver beneath the Potions Master's gaze, but the two seemed to be in a standoff, neither saying anything until Snape turned those fierce eyes on Penny. Then he bridged the distance and stood before her, looking down his hooked nose at her. Penny recoiled, which prompted Lupin to get to his feet, Snape turning to him with a look of pure loathing.
"It's not Penny's fault, if you want anyone to blame, Professor Snape, it's me. I had every opportunity to tell her everything and encourage her to speak with you, and I chose not to. I was being entirely selfish," Lupin said, placing a firm hand on Penny's shoulder.
"Of course you did, saving your own neck, how reminiscent. . ." Snape sneered, allowing Lupin to finish his sentence with his imagination. Then he turned back to face Penny, who was staring resolutely at her shoes.
This was not at all how she imagined this conversation going, although, everything else she'd imagined felt equally as uncomfortable. At least in those imaginings Snape had been in a better mood. There was no escaping what had to come next, but Penny wished very much that she could melt into the wall and disappear into the castle where they couldn't find her.
"Well, Potter, is there something you'd care to share with me?"
"Not really, but if the Headmaster insists," Penny said to the floor.
" Look at me, your feet aren't the ones with whom you are speaking," Snape hissed.
With a heavy sigh, Penny looked up into the angry face of Snape. He was towering over her, poised to scold her, his face hiding what he was actually thinking.
"Maybe if you didn't look so grumpy, It'd be easier," said Penny.
"Oh yes, there they are, more excuses to avoid any form of confrontation," Snape said, his voice dripping with disdain. "Now, get on with it and explain yourself-"
"Explain myself? How do you expect me to do that when no one has deemed it relevant to help me understand what this means! I don't even really know what it means for you, so don't stand there and berate me like a small child caught lying!" Penny said angrily, getting to her feet and looking fiercely up at her professor who was over a head taller than her. "And my name is Penny!"
"Then, pray tell, Penny, what do you know?" Snape said in a forced calm.
Standing beneath his expectant gaze, searching for the words, Penny suddenly felt foolish, like a child afraid to tell their parent they broke an expensive vase. She floundered for words, shifting uncomfortably on the spot. Understanding her distress, Lupin stepped in.
"Penny was afraid to tell you Severus because you're her coordinate. I'm sure you can imagine how confused and uncertain she may have felt," Lupin said more forcefully than he needed.
Snape's eyes snapped to him, the sneer returning. His features told Penny he did not believe Lupin in the slightest, which Penny found sickenly curious. He looked angry , like the words were an insult to his person. It was exactly the look Penny had been so afraid of seeing on his face. He did not want this, and Penny could not blame him for it. From everything she understood, it was as good as a curse to him. His look of utter disgust and refusal told Penny he had never felt anything she'd experienced, it was always. . .just her.
Subconsciously, Penny took two steps backwards, pushing the chair away as she went. She could feel the anger oozing from Snape, and knew it wanted to lash out. While Penny knew it was warranted, she was selfish and wanted to protect herself from anymore pain. There was already too much confusion trapped in her chest, she refused to let anymore in until she worked the rest out.
"She's too young, she would not know, " Snape said, his lips curled.
"But I would, Severus, and that I can prove it to you," Dumbledore said, his voice was gentler now, like he was coaxing an unwilling cat into his outstretched arms.
"It cannot be me Albus," Snape said angrily, turning toward the Headmaster and slamming his hands on the desk. "You know that it cannot, not after everything. Not after you made me choose the other. You would ask this of me? Is this my purgatory? You know what is coming, what I must do.I swore it!" Snape hissed.
Judging by the confused expression on Lupin's face, he also did not understand what Snape was referring too, Dumbledore, however, seemed to pick up on the intended message, and rubbed his face looking tired, and almost pitying at the man before him.
Snape's words were like acid on Penny's delicate skin. They burned horribly at her, and even though she did not understand fully what he was speaking of, she understood perfectly what equating being connected to her to purgatory meant. The words were unnecessarily calloused in Penny's opinion, making her want to yell at the man.
"No one is more sympathetic of your situation than me, but neither I, Penny, nor you for that matter, have any control over this. You are I smart man, so I know you comprehend how strong this magic is and what resisting it could mean. But Severus, I am rather insulted you thought you could lie to me about this. I know exactly what it is you're hiding, what you've always hidden. Your denial only serves to hurt that girl, and I know you have come to care for her more than you are willing to let yourself acknowledge," Dumbledore said, his face taking on a paternal scorn.
"DON'T-LECTURE ME." Snape screamed, his whole body shaking. The sound pierced Penny to her core, causing her to jump on the spot. She felt the anger and hatred pouring off of Snape in buckets. It was close to imploding on all of them and Penny did not want to be anywhere near him when that happened.
Lupin's jaw clenched, and his right hand seemed to move towards his wand, but he waited, looking at Dumbledore for instruction. Dumbledore was utterly calm and unperturbed by the ferocity of the anger being directed at him. In fact, he seemed to be accepting it as something he deserved, and took great responsibility for.
"And where did that lack of denial get Grindelwald? Don't speak to me of what I feel, if you'd even so much as cared for him you would know why -" Snape spat vehemently.
Dumbledore finally looked angry and got to his feet, emanating a frightening power that Penny, if she had not known the reputation of the Headmaster, would not have believed him capable of. Even Snape cowered slightly beneath the old man.
"Leaving Grindelwald to be consumed by his insatiable hunger for power is not a gesture of love, Severus. It took me far too long to realize that. I would hope you would be wise enough to learn from a foolish man's mistakes and not let Penny suffer because you are afraid of a second chance," Dumbledore said in a thunderous voice.
"I cannot be both! What you are asking is impossible!" Snape said, his voice pained now. "Why his daughter! She is arrogant just like him, self-absorbed, unpredictable, stubborn, and refuses to listen! I can't-!" Snape said, sounding thoroughly unhinged, now.
Lupin was in Snape's space in a flash, grabbing him by the collar of his robes, wand pressed firmly into his abdomen, "You stupid bastard, she is standing right here listening to your every word," Lupin growled.
"How cute, fancy yourself her protector now? Remus Lupin, always with his head in the sand, until he spots the convenient moment to pop out and pretend to care. Tell me Lupin, where were you when that girl was freezing in a forest? Remind me, to whom did she send her patronus? What did you do when I told you she was not safe with Yaxley? What did you do for her when she was being tied to a chair every night? But oh, how willing you are to accuse me of being the one who hurts that girl! Snape said, his voice steadily rising with every word that he spat from his mouth like venom..
"You're right, I have failed her, but I refuse to do so again. You stand here letting an old grudge dictate her future! She isn't James, Severus! I knew I was right to be wary of you, and you have responded like the selfish asshat I know you are, so willing to cut down anyone for self-preservation, including that brilliant girl there, who, for unbeknownst reasons to the rest of us here on this planet, trusts and admires you!" Lupin said.
Penny had never seen Lupin look so terrifying. He was deadly calm, his eyes blazing and his hand steady, waiting for Snape to give him cause. Snape meanwhile was calculating, his slit for eyes darting back and forth, his wand hand flexing dangerously.
"Is that bitterness I detect, Lupin? Upset all your pruning of the girl has not produced more fruit?" Snape spat, his hand inching toward his wand, "Of course it's me who's the manipulator. Why don't you try being honest with yourself for once, Lupin. We both know, it's not about her, you just like how she makes you feel!"
Snape had finally hit the nerve that broke Lupin, who's face contorted in rage while Snape's fingers clasped around his wand. Both men were raising their wands, muttering their spells, but before a single jet of light escaped either wand, they were blown backwards, their wands flying from their hands. The two chairs Lupin and Penny's had been occupying slid across the floor, each one catching a man, who was forced into the seat. Barbed tentacles wound their way across their bodies, fixing them to their chair.
Both of them turned wildly in the direction of Dumbledore, but he was not looking at either of them, nor was his wand drawn. Rather, his twinkling eyes were fixed on Penny, an impressed smile playing across his lips.
"My name is PENNY, and I would prefer it if the two of you did not speak as though I were not in the room!" she said dangerously, her chest heaving. She was exuding more authority than she knew she was capable of.
The magic was surging out of her, pinning both men effortlessly in place. They turned and looked at her, flabbergasted, realizing it was she, who attacked them.
"Don't look so surprised," Penny said, scathingly as she marched across the room.
She kicked Lupin's chair, which turned to face her. His eyes were wide, and it seemed as though he would like to say something, but he was gagged by the tentacles wrapped around his head. Anger was coursing through Penny's veins, a rage like she had never known before. However, instead of feeling out of control like she had felt earlier, everything around her was crystal clear, and she was innately attune to the magic gathering at her fingertips.
"You! I don't need you to protect my dignity from that man, or to pity me like I could not possibly fathom who he is. What I needed from you, was to tell me the truth, believe I am capable and help me when I'm not. But you denied that from me, infantilized me. That information wasn't yours to withhold. It hurt, hurt horribly once I realized. And now you want to stand here and accuse him!" she spat, pointing wildly at the bound Snape, "when you didn't even have the courage to show your face after you knew I'd learned of your lie!"
Lupin's features became heavy with his guilt and disappointment. His kind eyes could not hold Penny's, so he looked away, ashamed.
Feeling satisfied, her point had stuck, she turned, her magic swinging her Potions Master around to face her. One of the tentacles was squishing into his left eye, forcing him to look up through one eye. At least He had the decency to look like he regretted his decision, but it would not appease Penny, who squashed his hooked nose angrily with her pointer finger.
"And you! You infuriating man! Now do you see why I didn't tell you sooner? If I could give my right leg to free you from my nightmare, I would! Do you even understand how sorry I am? But I was standing here this entire time, and I can't for the life of me figure out why you think your words don't matter to me. But they do, they have a power over me. They've made me smile, challenged me, entertained me, cared for me, and imparted an excitement for the vastness of the world, but then you use them like this. . .Yes, I am stubborn, selfish, annoying, and in my heart, I even hope that your accusation that I am like my father is true, but I'm also Penny, a person who doesn't understand what I did to deserve such cruelty." Penny said, her hand dropping to her side as her anger fizzled with every word that fell from her mouth.
The tentacles unwound themselves from Snape, disappearing; the magic in Penny's fingertips receding back inside of her. Though he was free, Snape made no effort to move from the chair. Instead he stared up at her, the mask he wore, cracking at its edges.
"I could not have said it better myself," Dumbledore said with a clap of his hands, startling all three of them who had forgotten his presence.
Penny jumped, her hand clasping her mouth.
"Headmaster sir, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize what I was doing, I was just so preoccupied-" Penny gasped, suddenly mortified that she'd attacked two people in front of her Headmaster.
"Speak nothing of it, I saw nothing," Dumbledore winked. "But I daresay these two are thankful you spared them my involvement. I cannot claim my own methods would have been as restrained as your own," Dumbledore said, lightly, but the threat sent a shiver up Penny's spine. "Teenagers always surprise one with their ingenuity, wouldn't you agree?" Dumbledore said, pleasantly, looking between the two as though they'd experienced an average teaching moment.
Neither Snape or Lupin responded. Penny sighed and reached out her hand, both their wands flying to it. Extending her hand, she returned each wand to its owner, mildly impressed with herself that she knew who's was who's.
Lupin got to his feet and turned earnestly on her, clasping both of her shoulders in his hands,
"Penny, you brilliant but frightening girl, you are much too wise for your age. I am sorry that I allowed selfishness to dictate my actions. I am always so proud of you, and I want you to believe I know how capable you are. While I do not deserve it, I must ask, can you forgive me?" Lupin said, his brown eyes hopeful.
"Of course I forgive you. I have never felt anything so terrible as being angry with you, so please don't make me feel it ever again!" Penny smiled, wrapping her arms around Lupin's chest.
He squeezed her so tightly Penny was certain a rib was going to crack in her chest.
"Now that we have cleared this little hurtle, I'd like the three of you to meet tomorrow. There are a few important things Lupin needs to impart to you if we are to help Penny. But for now, it is late. Severus, would you mind escorting Penny back to her common room?" said Dumbledore, moving around his desk to tie something to Fawks, the large sleeping Phoenix's leg.
Snape nodded, he walked to the door and waited for Penny who followed silently after him. Penny was so thankful that she had not been expelled for her outburst that she did not even notice Snape's awkward tension at first.
He was distracted, his brows furrowed, jaw tight and shoulders stiff, and he kept bumping into Penny as they walked side by side. Finally, when they reached the 7th floor corridor, he turned on Penny, misery evident in every line of his face.
"Are you okay, Professor?" Penny asked, worried he was in pain.
"It shouldn't have been me. . .but whatever happens-swear to me you will believe it's always to help you," he said clinging to her wrists, his features contorted in pain.
"I don't understand-"
"SWEAR TO ME-NO MATTER WHAT YOU SEE OR HEAR!" Snape yelled, shaking her.
"My word, what is this?" The Fat Lady said, indignantly from her portrait.
"Swear you'll believe me," he pleaded in a sharp whisper, filling Penny's heart with dread.
She wanted to ask him what he meant, what he thought was coming, what filled him with such fear, but she knew he would not answer, so she nodded.
"I swear I will always believe the best in you, Severus Snape," Penny said gently.
Penny only had a moment to register the relief that spread across his features before he was gone. Whisking away into the darkness without so much as a glance back at her.
"One day, I'll make you understand you don't have to do everything alone. . ."