Since it might take a while for the comedic duo to finish their skit, Madara and Niko found a comfortable spot on a nearby bench to exchange teaching techniques and mundane gossip, more or less ignoring the other two's roughhousing.

Madara was pleasantly surprised to learn about Niko's part-time job as an instructor, where she teaches little girls how to survive the kunoichi life. He was intrigued enough to weasel a training method or two out of her to incorporate them into his daughter's future regimen. To show his gratitude, he even agreed to indulge some of her innocent curiosities.

A flick of the wrist caused the tessen in his hand to snap close, and Madara offered it to her handle first. Niko accepted the weapon with an eye that glinted with delight, turning his tessen this and that way whilst trying to find a comfortable angle to handle it without cutting herself. She was a weapons' enthusiast through and through.

"I've always been fascinated with war fans," Niko admitted with a mournful sigh. "It's an elegant weapon; easy to blend and deceive when in civilian disguises. You've walked down the streets of my clan's compound, attended my clan head's wedding reception, and even conversed with the gatekeeper whilst waving a tessen under his nose, yet none have made a move to confiscate it despite Tobirama-sama prohibiting guests from carrying weapons on their person. I do not know if this is considered willful ignorance, or willful disregard."

Madara made a nonchalant sound whilst he pulled out the sister pair of the tessen Niko held from his billowing sleeve. He snapped it open to cool his flushed neck – his garment was aplenty, and he was getting sweaty from all the layers.

"I would say it is a mixture of both," Madara smirked. "Ignorance and negligence should not be much of a surprise; after all, tessenjutsu masters are a rare find in our country. Also, you need not worry about Tobirama – he has already confiscated my first pair of tessen. That should satisfy his anal need for enforcing law and order for the time being."

"I dare not comment further on that," Niko stated drily, unwilling to speak ill of her clan's heir. Though there was an amused, minuscule curve at the corner of her lips that showed her agreement to Madara's offhanded remark. "I only feel it a shame that our clan and allies do not possess a tessenjutsu master of our own. Perhaps once the Uchiha clan has joined hands with us, Uchiha Madara might bless us ordinary folk with one of his more basic tessenjutsu kata. Although as a genius battle maniac, I doubt he would bother with the begging of us lowly peasants."

Madara could detect a tinge of sarcasm when she said that. However, he didn't take offence and simply offered her his true opinion. "Who knows, if he is in a good mood, I do not see why he would refuse to strengthen his allies as it would only bring him benefits in the long run. It wouldn't hurt to ask, as the most he could do is say no."

In fact, Madara wouldn't mind passing down some of his techniques to future Konoha-nins that were serious about mastering the way of the fan. It was too bad that out of all his students, only Kagami seemed to have the talent and love for it. Izuna preferred the katana, Ryouta has an unhealthy fondness with whips, Yakumi was still weighing his options, Takumi was stubborn about chakra strings, and Itama was shit all barring taijutsu. Whilst all of them knew the basics, they were not motivated to master tessenjutsu.

Niko's snort brought him out from his musings. "It seems unlikely, but I shall heed your advice. Might I ask if you've only taught Itama-sama iryoujutsu?"

"I tried to teach him tessenjutsu if that's what you're getting to." Madara's lips were twisted into a grimace as his eyes grew distant with memories. "Tama-bo... His form was appalling, his footwork was atrocious, and his overall lack of talent for tessenjutsu was an eyesore. My youngest student is more advanced than Tama-bo, and he's only three-years-old. I've lost track of the numerous times he had amputated his toes and fingers whilst handling my fans."

Niko blinked, finally tearing her eye away from the fan to give him an uncertain look. "... That sounds concerning."

Madara was unaware of the cruel smirk that played on his lips as he recalled his lessons with Itama. "Oh, don't worry. I assure you that all of Tama-bo's fingers and toes are accounted for. After the first few times, I made do with what the situation presented. Whenever an accident occurred, our tessenjutsu training will be changed into replantation lessons and pain endurance. The pain is a sure way of guaranteeing that he'll stop making the same mistakes repeatedly. After all those lessons, I can confidently confirm that Tama-bo can ignore any kind of pain whilst performing meticulous surgeries in a warzone. I have to pat my back for my genius at times like this."

"That sounds a lot like counter-interrogation training," Niko commented warily.

"Does it? My second student specializes in torture and interrogation. For someone who keeps all the clan secrets in his head, it is essential to know how to survive torture or die trying. Compared to the counter-interrogation lessons I give him, amputated fingers are basic," Madara murmured, oblivious to the shudder of fear his words had induced.

Due to his proficiency in healing, Madara was able to go all out during Ryouta's counter-interrogation training. From slow slicing to roasting, from rat torture to white torture, from all sorts of ninjutsu to genjutsu. All but carnal knowledge, that was. Madara taught Ryouta how to utilize it using prisoners as examples, of course, but never could he bear to perform it on his brother, even in the name of training.

But Ryouta's training was unique and shouldn't be compared. What Itama – and the rest of his students bar Kagami – were taught was basic pain tolerance. If Izuna and Itama openly expressed pain due to a torn limb or two, Madara would be quite disappointed and would need to increase their training exercises. As for the twins, they were still undergoing the fundamentals, so only deep lacerations and the likes were within their zone of tolerance.

Madara was a strict and spartan instructor. As cruel as his methods of learning were, he would rather his students suffer under him than die at the hands of others.

"But I digress. Tama-bo, whilst an amazing healer, specializes only in taijutsu when it comes down to combat. Even his ninjutsu is crap, which still baffles me to this day. I know Hashirama-sama is renowned for his wood release and monstrous strength, and Tobirama for his ninjutsu and speed. If you could enlighten my curiosity, what does Kawarama-san specialize in? He is the only brother I know little of." Madara neatly steered the conversation from his students to Kawarama, intending on gathering as much information as possible to make it easier on himself. Just in case.

Niko hummed impassively; her face devoid of expression as she weighed his trustworthiness in her mind. Madara made sure that his body language and facial expression was open and sincere, his smile benign as he allowed only innocent curiosity to glint from his eyes. After a moment, Niko finally softened her expression as she handed the tessen back to Madara, who accepted it with a murmur of thanks. It was a sign of trust, as Niko was obviously a patrol guard on duty and could've confiscated his weapons as per Tobirama's orders.

"I do not claim to be well-informed of his specialities, but I do believe Kawarama-san does dip his fingers into the subject of espionage. I know not his work for the clan, however."

"You need not worry about me being nosy, I know not to ask about clan related matters." Madara paused, before allowing fondness to creep into his eyes. "I will never betray Itama. I simply wanted to learn more about my disciple's family, as in the case with Masa-sama two seconds ago." Besides, he already knew Kawarama specialized in reconnaissance thanks to Itama.

Niko nodded. "Of course. I do not blame you, it is normal to be curious about the family of the one you teach. Along with Kawarama-san, would you like to know about his relatives as well?"

Not really, no. "Yes, I am awfully curious. Though we can skip on Tobirama and Hashirama-sama."

"Hmm... Alright. He has many cousins, but I doubt you'll want to hear about them. Itama-sama rarely talks to them anyway. We can start with Masa-sama, then. She is from Itama-sama's maternal side of the family and was an elder of our clan before her retirement. She owns a boutique and is a seamstress at her leisure. The rest of his elders have all passed, unfortunately."

Oh? Their hobbies seemed to have aligned perfectly. Madara could bond with Masa over sewing and knitting if need be. Elderly people were gold mines of information as their ears were plastered onto almost every surface in their territory. Their grapevine was broad and massive, and sometimes, they hear things quicker than even the messengers.

"Next is Touka-chan, Itama-sama's first cousin from his paternal side of the family and the only one he's close to. Their fathers were twins, from what I know. She's one of the few kunoichi in our clan that is strong enough to engage in a fight against the Uchiha. She usually acts as a bodyguard for either Hashirama-sama or Itama-sama."

Whilst informative, Madara already knew all of that... Apart from their fathers being twins. That was also irrelevant. Although Touka could potentially become clan head due to her close blood ties, it would only be potentially possible if all four brothers of the main house and their children were killed.

"Kawarama-san, as you should know, is Itama-sama's third older brother. He fights with a nodachi most of the time but that might have changed since I haven't fought alongside him for years. From what I've gathered; he was always tasked with solo missions of a more secretive nature. Currently, Tobirama-sama has benched him for reasons I know not and rostered him to bodyguard duty. I've been seeing them together frequently for two, maybe three months now. It's a little weird for him to be guarding our heir since Kawarama-san has lesser skill than Touka-chan."

Interesting. And enlightening.

A nodachi, Madara knew many ways to counter that. Most shinobi that specialize in espionage wasn't trained for prolonged 1v1 close-quarters combat, which was Madara's favourite dance to play. It was also noteworthy to consider that benching Kawarama meant that Tobirama had picked up on his brother's change of behaviour and was looking for answers (although he trusted Itama's intel, it was reassuring to hear it being confirmed). Furthermore, less field exposure equivalates to lesser combat experience and slower reflexes.

After combining and comparing the information freely given by Niko and Itama, Madara deduced that his chances of overpowering the teen were higher than initially calculated. He wouldn't underestimate Kawarama, of course, since Zetsu has always been an unknown and unpredictable variable, but he did feel more comfortable in his self-administered subjugation mission.

"Although speaking of Tobirama-sama; and I apologize in advance if I discomfort you in any way – I mean no disrespect when I ask if Deai-sensei and Tobirama-sama are... close?" Niko's voice had dropped into a whisper as if she didn't want her words to be overheard.

Madara tilted his head to the side, pondering. It wouldn't hurt to start laying the tiles of their backstory. Additionally, there was also the added effect of establishing trust once a third party from the Senju clan heard of their deep relationship.

Madara shrugged and nonchalantly turned to see if Hashirama and Masa were done yet. They weren't. "We're childhood friends. He also has legal guardianship and priority of care over my daughter should anything happen to me." He missed the widening of her eyes and the way her jaw had fallen to the ground. Madara continued, oblivious to her inner turmoil. "Whilst she's currently in my younger brother's care, I worry about her constantly since Hazuka is an albino like Tobirama. She can fall ill at the snap of a finger, and any sickness could become potentially life-threatening for an infant her age and size."

"O-Oh? How old is she?"

"A month," Madara whispered tenderly. "I'll need to get back to her soon. She just recovered, you see, so I do not wish to leave her side for long. I would've liked to bring her here with me, but I doubt Tobira would approve. He's such a hard man to please. Tsk, now I have this urge to smack him like how Masa-sama is smacking the ever-loving shit out of Hashirama-sama." If he sounded a little aggravated, it wasn't his fault.

Tobirama was infuriating at times; super demanding and willfully inflexible. Just like that one time when they went fishing (never again!). The damn albino wouldn't let up about catching a hefty-sized salmon for lunch using a fishing rod, which almost angered Madara to death since it was near sundown when they finally did catch one. He remembered enduring until his blood pressure skyrocketed and his veins almost popped from irritation alone. And whilst Madara has long come to accept his friend's negative traits, it didn't mean he couldn't bitch about it.

Of course, they were all human, and he supposed Tobirama did have his good points to counter his negative ones. During that same fishing trip, although Madara had almost blown his top, Tobirama knew all the ways to keep him grounded and (barely) calm, to stay by his side and to never stray too far. And when they managed to reel the salmon in, Tobirama's dazzling smile was blinding as he gushed about all the ways he could make fresh inarizushi for Madara with their catch. It somewhat made the wait worth it. Somewhat.

"You must love them," Niko broke his inner tirade, just in time to see Hashirama heroically escape from Masa's grasp.

"Yeah. I love them to the moon and back," Madara responded distractedly, having already stood up as he prepared for Hashirama's next move. As predicted, the Senju head was rushing towards him as he left Masa eating dust. "It was nice chatting with you, Niko-san. Remember, don't forget about our talk. A missed opportunity will only lead to more regrets, and we kunoichi do not need more of that on our plate."

Without the chance to say more or even turn to bow his farewell, Hashirama had already thrown him over a shoulder like a sack of potatoes and ran as if a monster was after him.

Madara grunted, indignant.

But, well, at least they were back on track.

Hopefully, they wouldn't be sidetracked anymore.

A/N:

I hope you've enjoyed the /

I plan to make Masa into a side-character that Madara will enjoy chatting with. This loner needs friends (since they're more or less the same age, give or take a couple more decades on Madara's part), so I do hope you'll look forward to more of Masa's antics in the future.

Kudos and comments are treasured and used for motivation *smile*