Chapter Thirty-Seven

Haven

(Surprise!)

We approached with caution – I felt uneasy about this bit; and with good reason.

Haven was more than 5 times larger than in the game – though set up closer to Inquisition than Origins. And yes, we were stopped at the entrance gate to be 'warned'… more like threatened.

The guard had been extra weary – likely due to my hair.

We passed him and made our way directly to the store.

The store was rather boring – but the smell of fresh blood was over-whelming. So I said, "The dead knight in your back room needs to be burned or buried – you'll never hide it with the smell being so strong."

He froze before saying, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Honey, I'm a prophetess – I know all about Andraste Reborn up on the mountain and Father Eirik and Kolgrim. I'm not an idiot – the smell of blood is over-whelming. At least burn the corpses next time. I'm just here for the old relic on the mountain."

The others stayed eerily silent, knowing I was lying. The shop-keeper said, "I… I need to escort you to Father Eirik."

"Sure – but first; I want to buy that little symbol of Andraste there. My friend here loves anything and everything to do with that sunburst."

He sold it to me easily and brought me up to the Chantry.

Father Eirik looked very confused seeing one of his flock leading me in, "F-Father – this one claims to be a prophetess – she… knows things she shouldn't."

I rolled my eyes, "Look – Kolgrim will want to make a deal with me; I'm just here for a pinch of the Ashes in the Urn. Also – you should really burn the damn bodies of the people you kill rather than stuff them in backrooms; the smell gets overwhelming."

"… Tell me the Deal you think Kolgrim would make." Father Eirik said.

I saw everyone around us was tensed – but my group was relaxed.

"He wants me to taint the urn with the blood of the new Andraste so that she will regain her memories of who she is – but none of you can enter the temple proper, can you?"

The Father stiffened, "I see – you are rather knowledgeable. How does one enter the outer temple?"

"You wear an ancient Tevinter medallion around your neck that happens to be a puzzle key. You realize that the dragon isn't Andraste reborn, right?"

"I am beginning to think you're right – how else would a Prophetess come to us? There is said to only ever be one of those and you know to much for it not to be true…"

I held up a hand and summoned a ball of each of the 4 main elements and said, "I'm also not a mage."

Finally – my stalling had paid off. The last of the adults were in the room. I gave the signal and my people began attacking. Eirik was the last one left. I glared down at him, "You disappoint me – revering a false prophet."

I yanked the Medallion from his neck before killing him with my lyrium ability – Father Eirik was a mage.

We headed through the side room – Genitivi recognized me at once, "S-Seeker… Vane…"

"Brother Genitivi – Thank Gaia that you're alright."

"Yes – thank you for the aid."

I sighed, "Sorry to be the one to tell you this – Weylon is dead. A Haven resident killed him and took his place so he could send anyone looking for you to their death; I killed the imposter and had the city guard take care of Waylon."

Genitivi looked sad, "Weylon was a good lad – I'll see to it he's honored as such. But I don't have time to rest now – the urn is just up the mountain."

"Good – Arl Eamon was poisoned so we need a pinch to cure him."

He snorted, "Politics; never did anyone any good. The Arl is a noble soul – the ashes would surely cure him."

I held up the 'amulet' and asked, "Do you know how to work this key? If not, I'll leave you here to rest while we go up the mountain ourselves."

He nodded, "I… do know how. It's ancient Tevinter mechanics." I nodded and motioned to Sten, "Sten, can you carry him or do I need to?"

Shale hummed – likely glad I didn't ask her to carry him.

Sten inclined his head, "I will do this, Kadan."

I was glad I already knew how to get to the temple – mostly from the third game, but the path really was that easy.

As we walked, Genitivi said, "What… have I missed?"

"The Blight is in full swing, Loghain betrayed the king and left the wardens to take the blame, I'm playing as though I've been betrayed by the wardens while I'm around Loghain, I'm acting Teyrna of Gwaren until Fergus can be found, I got married and wrote a flowery 'fuck-you' to the Divine when she tried to pick a husband for me…"

"You what?" Genitivi asked in horror.

"What was I supposed to do, Brother? She had picked out a mage to be my husband and the courier arrived hours after I was already married to the man I love; my soul-mate. I get that she wanted to force me to be closer to her since I have the ability to see the future – but I'm needed elsewhere. My vows do not include the Chant – and never will. So I told her that – while I appreciated her thinking of me – I was in line for the Fereldens Throne, so marrying a mage was never going to happen. What would you have done, Genitivi? I was already married, the courier was too late, and I had already been engaged for a month before receiving her mandate. And had I actually made it to the alter for any forced marriage she picked out, I would have killed the groom rather than go through with it. The only thing that would have saved the one she did pick was that he was the son of two dear friends. So no – I was never going to be forced into a damn marriage."

"I… while I can see your point, there was no need to take it out on the Divine…" he muttered.

"There was every need! She promised me that she would respect my traditions and customs since I was not raised with the Chant of Light and that she wouldn't force me into anything… she lied, Brother."

He flinched – the Divine was the ultimate holy figure; her lying…

Felassan cleared his throat, "Cousin, calm yourself; I am sure the Divine is aware of her error."

"I'm sure, Cousin – still, it is a terrible affront. I have done a lot for her; informed her of several things… and this is how she repays me? I did not take the vows of the Seekers here – she is not the one I answer to."

"Cousin?" Genitivi asked.

"Distantly – Felassan is my 4th cousin once removed – we share great-great-great-great grandparents… well, my 4th great, his 3rd great. There's enough distance between our relations that it would have been acceptable for me to marry him… but that isn't going to ever happen. Soulmates are sacred – and Cullen is my soulmate. We were born for each other; there will be no one else that I could love or be loved by as amazingly as him. My husband – my Knight-Captain; so there you have it, Genitivi."

He was rather quiet the rest of the way.

As expected, we left him near the entrance to the temple. I was amazed to find that, unlike in the game, the Temple was in perfect condition… so far. The Temple looked new, and had a warm feeling that could only be described as coming home. There were many carvings on the walls, and more than just the four passages shown in the game.

As we made our way through the temple, I picked up several things – the scrolls for translation, a few trinkets, and so on.

Shale had finally given out her nicknames… mostly. Morrigan the Swamp Witch, Wynne was the Elder Mage, Zevran was the Painted Elf, Leli was the Sister, Sten was the Qunari, the Mabari were called Dog – Ghost was 'Dog 1', Buster was 'Dog 2', and Barkspawn was 'whiny dog'. Alistair was Whiney One, Elissa was Warden, Lee was Elf Mage, Lona was Green Witch (Because her magic always flared green apparently), Theron was Pointy Elf, Kallian was Blank Elf, Duran was Bearded Dwarf, Natia was Red Dwarf, and I was Seeker. Felassan had been given the name Fade Elf – because he felt odd to Shale and I had explained it was that Felassan had a very strong connection to the Fade.

Shale said, "I wish to ask the Seeker a question."

"Yes, I know how Golems are made – no, you will not believe me." I said.

"I still wish to know – it said we will meet Caridin; Caridin will either confirm or not."

I shrugged, "Fine; up to you. Golems were crafted from either stone or metal by Paragon Caridin on the Anvil of the Void that now resides in Bownammar – a place now known as the City of the Dead – it used to be the Headquarters for the Legion of the Dead; the city has been reclaimed and lost many times. And the Legion still bury their dead there if one falls close enough to the city. Actually, Caridin built Bownammar as well – before he built the Anvil, even. Golems… the first Golem was created in about 225 Ancient – more than 1000 years ago – they were made to combat the Darkspawn that threatened the world during the first blight." I saw the faces around me filled with interest – it wouldn't last.

"But you must understand – only a true god can create new life from nothing… he had to use Dwarven volunteers. The process involves dressing the volunteer in armor the size of the golem, then pouring molten Lyrium through the eye holes, mouth hole, and joints of the armor. Before it cools, the armor is hammered and shaped to perfection – it sounds quite painful, actually. Then magic was used to animate the golems in a process similar to animating a corpse or some such. Enchanted control rods are used to turn the golems into perfectly obedient soldiers, at the cost of their free will. However, if a golem lacks a control rod it retains its free will and perhaps its former personality returns as well." Disbelief now colored several faces. Taking away a persons' free will was slavery.

"There was no lack for willing participants in the beginning – the golems were winning – but the wretch of King back then – King Valtor – started forcing criminals, castles and political enemies to the forge. Caridin refused to create any more golems after only six years of continuous production. In response to Caridins… disobedience, King Valtor ordered for Caridin to be turned into a golem – to be as compliant as the rest of them. But Caridins apprentices didn't know how to properly create a control rod, so Caridin kept his own mind and free will and fled with his loyalists and the Anvil into the Deep Roads – to Bownammar, as I said. He hasn't been seen or heard from since."

"… Hmm – it is something to ponder; but it is right. I do not believe it."

Felassan snorted, "You were warned of that. Right, Val – Solas told me to give you something…"

He pulled out an amulet. I quirked an eyebrow, "He shouldn't have… what is it?"

Felassan laughed, "A mark of his inner circle – your information about the soulmate thing was… telling. Also, the information about what happened in Denerim… he does warn that what is given can be taken."

"Easy to receive – easy to lose. I will treasure it, but I'm turning it into a bracelet."

"Wait! So, Shale is over 1000 years old?!" Alistair asked.

I blinked, "No – Shale is 15 with a growth problem." Felassan bent double laughing.

Alistair snorted at the sarcasm that dripped from my voice. Even Shale harrumphed at Alistairs' words – I had already clearly said that no new golems had been created in that amount of time…

We heard a voice, "Stop! You will go no further!" A man shouted. He was 6'1 with dark, chocolate colored skin, black hair that was slightly curly, and grey-brown eyes… why was a villain so good looking? Not. Fair.

I narrowed my eyes, "Kolgrim; we meet at last. I am here for the Urn of Sacred Ashes – you will not stop me and I will not be defiling them for you. I will be killing the False Prophet that you stupidly revere."

He froze, "How do you know what I was going to say?"

"I'm a Prophet – not Andraste or anything, but a prophet. Now, I have a dragon to kill and ashes to retrieve. Move aside or die."

"We won't let you kill her!" they attacked – idiots.

They died so easily.

We set camp after that – there was no point in going further because there was a High Dragon out there and it was getting dark.

The next day we went out to fight the dragon and I almost cried in laughter… this would be the easiest Dragon fight in my life and I said so out loud.

Felassan looked confused, "Why do you say that?"

"Because those idiots were giving the Dragon Lyrium; there's enough in her veins for me to fell her once we call her over. Go ahead, Sister – call the dragon and I'll make quick work of her."

Elissa pressed the horn to her lips and blew. I could tell that only Felassan was relaxed – only he believed there was enough Lyrium in the Dragon to fell her. This was how they controlled her – she was addicted and knew the humans had the drug she now craved. She landed – instantly ready to attack as she smelled the blood of her brood on us – and I used my ability.

I wasn't the only one to panic when blood began to drip from my nose as the dragon stumbled and fell. Felassan jumped to catch me, "Lethallan – what happened?"

"Humans, Dragons and larger creatures – apparently it isn't just your control of them that takes life from you."

I checked my lifespan to see if Alistair was right. I coughed, "No – this is different. I think it's just… I don't know. I didn't lose life force on this like I would have if I'd tried to control the Dragon. Gaias' Roots… I feel… off…"

Felassan shook his head, "It is similar to magic depletion – but not quite. I'd offer you a Lyrium potion…"

"Ah – that's what it is. This mountain is crawling with Lyrium. There's so much Lyrium in this mountain that my killing the dragon drew on it and tried to enact my commands on it – but Lyrium is titan blood and I can't kill the titan beneath the mountain so it backlashed."

"There's a titan beneath the mountain?" Felassan asked.

"Most likely with how much Lyrium is here – but it would be deep; far beneath the Deep Roads and we're sitting on it's cyst or something. It's difficult – you'd never reach the titan without help from the Sha-Brytol that guard it. The point is that my power over-reached and snaped back at me… I'll be fine soon enough."

We moved forward just a bit before I bit my lip and cursed, "Skin the damn dragon – I know an armorer that can use it if we also take the Drake Scales we found. I want the bones too. Felassan, you break down the meat – this is an insulated item I had the tranquil make; I call it a 'cooler'. It will keep the meet cold for preservation while not being too cold to the touch on the outside."

I flopped onto my ass in a chair I 'built' out of rock. My nose was still bleeding. Stem said, "I will skin the Ataashi – I have done so before."

No one knew how to react to the fact that Sten had either killed or been near someone that killed a Dragon before. Alistair shrugged, "Guess that leaves us Wardens to collect the bones."

Wynne was with me – her hands glowing as she tried to figure out if I was really okay. Zevran got to mixing his poisons. Morrigan was studying her mothers' 'grimoire'. Leliana was examining some of the ruins around us.

All in all, everyone was doing something – other than me; I sat there with my head tilted back trying to get the nose bleed to stop.

It was about two in the afternoon (we started at nine in the morning) when the dragon was skinned, deboned, and packed away… even the blood had been packed into flasks before it was skinned; Sten insisted that Dragon Blood was a good resource to have and I had agreed.

Heading into the temple proper, I saw the Guardian.

The Guardian was much taller that I would have believed from the game. 6'6, if my guess was accurate… his skin was like milk chocolate, his eyes were like caramel and he was wearing full armor.

"I bid you welcome, Pilgrim." The Guardian said.

I bowed my head, "My greetings, Ser Guardian."

He nodded to me while the others all fanned out around me. "You are the first to make it this far in a very long time. It has been my duty, my life, to protect the Urn and prepare for the faithful who come to revere Andraste. For years beyond counting have I been here, and shall I remain until my task is done and the Imperium has crumbled to the sea – it is nice to see her descendants return to the fold."

I gave him a bland look, "You could have kept that quiet, you know."

Alistair sputtered, "You knew?"

I shrugged, "My homelands keep detailed records – more so than Tevinter. My 1,000 years ago grandmother Vivial and her lover Regulan went into self-imposed exile and into hiding following Andraste's betrayal and murder. She had only daughters. Each of those daughters only had daughters – and finally, in the chaos of the second Blight – one of those Daughters fled to my homeland where she married into the Sage family. Many centuries later, and here I am. That's why the Sage family uses so many names from the Andrastian faith – we are her descendants. All the family we had in Ferelden died out; and make no mistake, my family stayed mostly in Ferelden. We have maybe one more branch somewhere in the Tevinter Nobility, but I can't quite recall. Some things are still fuzzy from my… near-death experience. Andrastes' bloodline only produces Daughters. The brothers I had were born of my fathers' mistress from the Scalla Family. That is also why my homelands are Matriarchal – Andraste was Divine in her way, and thus we follow the Makers' Favor and favor women."

"But you worship Gaia…" Leliana muttered reverently. I shrugged, "What we were, we become again – that is the worship of Gaia; who is to say that Gaia is not the Maker? Honey, we can't really put names to celestial beings we'll never meet while we live."

The Guardian nodded humbly, "This is true."

"By the way – the Tevinter Imperium is all but gone. They are no more than crumbling ruins held together with magic; and they rule only a small portion of land in the north-west."

"Ah… then perhaps my task is beginning to end. You have come to honor Andraste, and you shall – if you prove worthy."

"She's not worthy? You just said she was Andrastes' Descendant."

I snorted, "Chill out, Elissa – my grandmother was favored by a god; I have yet to prove myself to this god. Give us your tests, Guardian."

He nodded solemnly and turned first to Alistair, "Alistair; Knight, Warden and future King – you wonder if things would have been different if you were with Duncan on the battlefield. You believe you could have shielded him from the killing blow. You wonder, don't you… if you should have died in his place?"

"I… if you had asked me that before – maybe a few months ago – I would have said yes; that if Duncan had been saved rather than me, everything would have been better. But now, I have to say no. Val has shown that… I'm needed here; even if my part is small in the grand scheme of things, I still have a part to play."

The guardian looked to Shale next, "Shale, there is so little I can draw from you. I feel a distant echo of a soul, dormant for so long, now awake."

"Good for you," She said drily.

Felassan coughed in amusement and the Guardian gave a faint smile, "And with the awakening, the slow realization of all you lost. Your entire existence is a test to your will and courage. You have my respect." He then turned again to Wynne.

"You are ever the advisor, ready with a word of wisdom. Do you wonder if you spout only platitudes, burned into your mind by the distant past? Perhaps you are only a tool used to spread the word of the Circle and Chantry. Does doubt ever chip away at your truths?"

She looked confused for only a moment before she chuckled and replied, "You frame the statement as a question, yet you already know our answers. There is no sense in hiding it is there? Yes, I do doubt at times. Only a fool is completely certain of themselves."

He nodded and looked at Leli, "And you… why do you say the maker speaks' to you, when all know he has left? He only spoke to Andraste. Do you believe yourself her equal?"

"Not at all – if anyone were, it would be Val – more so, knowing that Val is descended from Andraste."

"Sten – you came to this land as an observer, but killed an entire family in a blind rage. Have you failed your people by allowing Qunari to be seen in such a light?"

"I have never denied such claims."

"The Antivan elf – many have died at your hand, but there is none you regret more than a woman by the name of…" I cut in, standing in front of Zev and shocking them all, "Either ask a different question or leave him alone. Or I can answer it for you – yes he regrets it; very much so."

The guardian looked startled but nodded and moved on to Morrigan, "Morrigan; Flemeths' daughter. What…?"

She scoffed and waved a dismissive hand, "Be-gone, spirit; I'll not play your games."

He shrugged and looked at Elissa, "Do you feel you failed your parents, leaving them to die?"

"No, my mother all but pushed Val and I out the door – she bought us time."

"Then you do not dwell on past mistakes – yours or others."

He looked at Lona and Alim, "The both of you; Jowan was your friend; you led him into a trap. Do you think you failed Jowan?"

Lee snorted, "Fuck no – Val says jump we say how high."

Lona nodded, "Jowan knew better than to practice Blood Magic."

The guardian nodded before turning to Kallian, "By the time you reached Shianni, she was broken, brutalized. You were too late. Did you fail her?"

"No – I would have failed her if I hadn't killed that fucking rapist, Vaughn Kendalls, but I saved her… she's safe."

He asked Duran about Trian, "Did you fail Trian?"

"No way, Blighter – if he couldn't see what Bhelen was doing then that's on him; I paid the price too – maybe he failed me."

The guardian asked Natia, "Do you regret leaving your sister Rica and your mother in Dust Town?"

"Nah – I know they had Bhelen as a patron so they should be fine."

"Felassan…"

"Thank you, next," he said politely.

"Very well – Valeria Vane; you knew everything that would happen. From the downfall of Highever, to the Fall of the circle, to the betrayal at Ostagar, you knew it would all happen because you used to see this as a game in your past life."

The whole group went quiet and I slid my eyes closed, "No – I don't regret allowing things to happen so that worse things did not take their place. Had the Couslands lived, Elissa would have died and the throne would not be stable in the future. Had the circle not fallen, Cullen would not become the man he is meant to be. Had Loghain not quit the field at Ostagar, there would be no saving Ferelden – because there would be no troops to fight. Howe will pay with his blood and soon. Loghain will likely die at Alistairs' hand and another will have to save my pathetic life in 9 years since he won't be there. Cullen would not go to Kirkwall and aid in keeping so many alive if he did not survive the Kinlock uprising. I knew – but I could not change too much without killing everyone I hold dear. I had come to care for the Couslands – and it killed me to watch them die. I overhauled the Towers' security measures so more lived without too much impact on the future. I tried to make things better – we have eight wardens instead of just two. So no, I don't regret it; but I do mourn their lives and honor their memories… just as Andraste did in the innocents she killed."

Hands circled my throat. Elissa was pissed, "You knew!"

Alistair was trying to pull her off me – I allowed her to hurt me.

Elissa was shouting, "You fucking knew – and you lied to me. My family didn't have to die!"

"Elissa – Elissa; didn't you hear her? She knew but…"

"I would have gladly died in their places, Alistair!"

"And Oren? He would have died had she not done as she did. As would all the other Wardens you travel with aside from Alistair. And without at least two wardens, the Blight would have won," The Guardian said.

She froze, "You're telling me… that just saving my parents would have… killed all of us?"

Felassan pulled me behind him when Elissa was finally pulled from me. I spoke, "I'm… sorry, Elissa. Oren was supposed to die too – when Oriana died. I have worked so hard to save lives. Cullen is supposed to be so much worse off – broken from lyrium withdrawal, torture and starvation… do you know how many mages he's supposed to brush off to the Rite of Tranquility in Kirkwall that he won't anymore? No more innocents in Highever will die because I secured it early. But it's not enough; I am the last direct descendant of Andraste – I can only do so much. When the Blight ends… I will kneel before you, my Queen and you can take my life if you wish it. I'm sorry that – for you – the only one I could save was Oren. I'm sorry that – for you – I wasn't enough. We've all had to make sacrifices, Elissa – I chose the ones that would fulfil my oath to keep the future intact. My life doesn't matter – not if I can save lives."

She spat, "You've made sacrifices? Just what have you lost?"

"Recall that I lost my mother, father, two children, my brothers, my life; so yes… I sacrificed. I lost my home, Elissa – my family… twice. I loved Cailan – and I still had to watch him die on that field. I loved Bryce and Eleanor – but I could only pick one person to save that night; I chose the innocent child. And I love Loghain – he's like a father to me; but I am willing to set aside my love for him to let Alistair take his vengeance – not justice; vengeance. Because the beacon was lit too fucking late due to the Darkspawn infesting the damn tower! We were late, Elissa – and I'm still allowing Alistair to kill a man I think of as family. I have to ruin lives so that we can see tomorrow; I am doing my best to live with this knowledge that I'm not good enough to be the hero that you need me to be – that you want me to be."

Sten spoke, "You would make a good Arishok."

I shook my head, "Because I can make the hard choices?"

"Yes."

I snorted, "What would Solas think of me now, Felassan?"

"… He would have done the same in your shoes, I think. He'd hate sacrificing his people, but he'd do it if it kept the balance and didn't destroy the world."

I felt my shoulders slump, "Perhaps I should stay here while you all… go get the ashes."

"No – we need you; you know what must be done," Zevran said softly.

"Um… not to break the mood, but… Val… you're bleeding… badly."

I looked down and saw a bit of marble protruding from my side. I pulled it out, "Are you satisfied with my oath, Elissa – that after this Blight is over, I will allow you to take my life in return for the lives of your family?"

Alistair spoke, "She can't kill you, Val… you only did what you had to…"

I held up my hand – still looking Elissa in the eye, "Even knowing that I am the only one that can stop the world from ending in the future, would you still kill me?"

"You what?" Felassan asked.

I shook my head and waited for Elissas' response. She glared, "I'll need to think on it."

I sighed as we headed deeper into the temple.