cw: not smut, but it does get pretty ~steamy~

Chapter Forty: You're so Beautiful

"It's the full moon tomorrow."

Remus didn't answer his boyfriend. He was too aware of when the full moon was. He could feel it coming, feel the aching in his bones. He dreaded it. The pain, the agony, the utter loathing and despair, the loneliness. He leaned back, resting against Sirius.

Sirius looked down at the beautiful boy sprawled across his lap. He smiled, running his fingers through Remus's hair. He had finally cut it, though it still often obscured part of his face. Remus liked to hide behind his hair. Sirius hated that. He loved to see Remus's eyes, to look at him, and to tell him just how he felt, just how much he loved him.

The two boys were sitting in the Room of Requirement, in front of a roaring fire, listening to the rain pouring outside. They sipped hot cocoa and revelled in each other's company. They had needed an escape, somewhere away from everyone and everything. Somewhere with no responsibilities, no problems. Somewhere where it could be Sirius and Remus.

Sirius looked over at the old record player he had just spotted. "Let's dance!" he said, jumping to his feet and pulling Remus up.

"What?"

"I said let's dance!" A slow song was playing. Sirius looked pleadingly at Remus, whose eyes were full of uncertainty. "Please, Remy?"

"I don't know how to dance."

"It's ok. I'll teach you. And I'll lead."

"Fine."

Sirius grinned and kissed him softly. He pulled Remus close, and showed him how to position his hands, and the basic step. Remus picked it up quickly. Soon, they were slow-dancing around the room, Sirius leading, holding Remus close to him.

They were lost in the music, lost in each other. And it was perfect. Sirius wanted to stop time, to live in this moment forever. There were no troubles, just Sirius and Remus. One day, then maybe they could have it forever.

Sirius found himself imagining a whole life with Remus. He saw them graduating, then him proposing. He saw their wedding, and James and Peter were so happy for them. He saw their life together, happy, growing old. And felt so right. One day, Sirius vowed.

He dipped Remus and bent down to kiss him. He pulled Remus up, their lips still together. They were moving as one, stumbling backwards, laughing and kissing. Sirius pulled off his jacket and tossed it to the side. He tugged at Remus's, and got it about half off before the younger boy froze.

Remus suddenly realized what Sirius was trying to do. He stopped, pulling his sleeve back up.

"Oh, fuck," whispered Sirius. "I'm sorry, Remy."

"It- it's ok," said Remus. "Just give me a sec."

With half a moment's concentration, Remus applied a thick glamour charm to the inside of his wrist, then nodded to Sirius. The taller boy gave him a reassuring kiss, then pulled his jacket off, making eye contact the entire time, ready to stop the second Remus gave any sign.

But Remus didn't, and his jacket landed on the floor, somewhere close to Sirius's. Remus grabbed Sirius's tie and pulled him closer, once connecting their lips in a searing, passionate kiss.

The room was dim, the sound of the rain was faint. The fire glimmered in the fireplace, casting long shadows and throwing bright sparks. The music faded into the background, barely audible.

The kiss was frantic, as if both of their very lives depended on it. And, in the moment, it certainly felt like it. Fuck, Sirius was the most amazing kisser, and Remus couldn't hold back the moans that occasionally slipped from his mouth.

They stumbled backwards, accidentally falling onto the couch. Sirius deftly shifted them, so that he was sitting on the couch and Remus was straddling him. He pulled Remus down, kissing him again and again.

Remus was overwhelmed by all the sensations. Sirius's hands were on his ass, then they were roaming up and down his torso, exploring everything. Sirius tugged questioningly at his shirt, but Remus shook his head, panting hard.

"Don't," he managed to get out.

Sirius nodded. "It's fine."

Remus gave him a sort of half smile. The truth was, he was far too insecure to take his shirt off in front of anyone, let alone his boyfriend. Sirius was stunning, absolutely gorgeous and hot and sexy. And he was just Remus.

And now Sirius's lips were on Remus's neck, and Remus was moaning again. "Fuck, you're so gorgeous," whispered Sirius, his breath ghosting over Remus's skin.

Remus shook his head. "'M not," he said, half to himself, half to no one at all.

Sirius's face lit up with understanding. "Yes, you are." He paused to suck at Remus's neck again, revelling in the moans that fell from the younger boy's lips. "You're absolutely beautiful, and I love you so fucking much."

Remus just kept shaking his head, trying to protest Sirius while also trying to hold back his moans.

"Shh," Sirius whispered. He kissed Remus softly on the lips. "You're so fucking beautiful, and it makes me so sad that you can't see it."

"I'm not," Remus said, shaking his head.

Sirius smiled sadly, looking at the boy sitting on his lap. "I'll make you see it some day."

Remus shook his head.

"I will."

With that, Sirius cupped his hand around Remus's neck, bringing him down to connect their lips once again. It was hot and fast and passionate and Sirius fucking loved kissing Remus so much. His hands toyed with the hem of Remus's shirt.

He slipped one under a tiny bit. "Can I?" he asked, trying to catch his breath.

Remus hesitated. He wanted to take it off so badly, but he knew he wouldn't be able to let himself. He glanced down at Sirius. His shirt had come untucked and unbuttoned at some point, Remus didn't know when, and his tie was hanging loosely around his neck. He was sweaty and breathing hard, his hair was messy and his face was flushed. And fuck, he looked so good.

"You're so beautiful," whispered Sirius.

His hand stayed where it was, barely touching Remus's stomach, waiting for Remus.

Remus's brain was barely able to form words. He loosely tugged at Sirius's shirt. "Can you- would you-"

Sirius grinned, shrugging off his shirt. Remus couldn't help staring at his toned chest and the hint of a six-pack. Sirius brought his hand back to the bottom of Remus's shirt. He looked questioningly at him.

Remus nodded, panting. "But don't take it off."

"I won't," Sirius said reassuringly.

And then he could feel Sirius's hands running over his chest, and up and down his sides, and Sirius was kissing him. And then Sirius was mouthing at his neck, and Remus threw his head back, moaning in pleasure. There were Sirius's lips against his again, and without even realizing, Remus's hands were on Sirius's chest.

"I fucking love you," panted Sirius, before kissing Remus again.

Sirius slumped over, pulling Remus on top of him, keeping them connected with a kiss. One of his hands was thrown over Remus's back, the other was firmly on his ass. Kisses and laughs and quiet words passed between them, little whispers of "I love you."

Everything was perfect.

A/N:

ayyy i hope you enjoyed that chapter

just for future reference, i will not be writing any explicit smut for this story. it might be implied, or something steamy like this, but no actual sex. also, i have decided that this fic will be 50 chapters. and then i'll launch straight into the sequel. so if u want to get notified when i post that (updates will be rlly similar to this), then subscribe to me or whatever

also not me projecting myself onto remus so fucking much. part of the convo (insecurity) is almost word for word from convos i had with my ex. who i've been rlly fucking missing. or maybe i'm just affection starved, bc it's not just him. i want a hug, like a long, caring one. also i just want someone to kiss me

take care, drink some water, take ur meds, i love you all so much 3

ktf xolyn