A/N: OMG I had a hell of a time with this chapter. But I finally got it out. There a few small time jumps and it's longer than normal so hopefully you won't be to mad at me.

Chapter 40

Lexa had been home a few weeks and it was still an adjustment. It never took long for her to get used to having Clarke and Avery around, but it always took awhile to get used to not having them around. She missed them both terribly.

Luckily for her, work was keeping her pretty busy. And when she wasn't working, she was preparing for her upcoming test. She was pretty confident in her knowledge of evidence collecting and interview techniques, but case law is where she was spending a lot of time studying.

"Hey, Woods," came a shout from behind her.

Spinning her chair around, she found her captain looking almost annoyed. She wasn't sure if it was at her or something else. Although he always seemed annoyed with her for some reason. Hopefully soon she'd be moving out of state and never have to see him again. "Yes, Captain."

"I need you out on the streets, patrol the southern end."

"I thought Baker was doing that," she wasn't sure if she was asking, or just stating a fact at that point.

"Well, now he's not, so get out there."

He didn't give any more explanation, just walked back into his office and closed his door, leaving her even more stumped. Without any other options, she closed her computer down and made her way out to her patrol car. Silver lining was she wouldn't be stuck in the office for the rest of her shift.

She tried not to let her captain's attitude get to her as she made her way out to the lot of patrol cars. She always knew he was a dick, but he only seemed to be getting worse. With any luck she wouldn't be stuck with him much longer, so she really just wanted to let it go.

It was the middle of the day so the streets were still fairly quiet. They were still a couple hours away from the high traffic times. Public transport helped alleviate some of that.

As she passed through the streets, she studied the various buildings that made up the community. New structures often mixed with old. There was a lot of history here, but not for her. She had lived in this city for most of her life, but it never felt like home. Not until she met Clarke, and even then, something was missing. California changed all that for her, it felt like home.

Lexa really hated patrolling. Driving around the city almost mindless left her in her own head far to often. She tried to keep her mind active and not zone out, but it was difficult. Then a blue car went flying passed her, breaking her out of her thoughts.

Flipping on her lights, she sped up to get behind the car. The driver didn't seem to be driving erratic, but they were definitely in a hurry. She was about to hit the siren when the car finally seemed to notice her and pull over.

Once both cars were stopped on the side of the road, Lexa took a deep breath. She hated giving out tickets. Occasionally it was necessary, especially if someone was endangering others, but this didn't seem to be one of those times. Driving styles told a lot about a person, and this car wasn't carelessly flying down the streets. Still, she had a job to do.

After a second deep breath, she grabbed her ticket book and stepped out of the vehicle. She approached the driver's side door cautiously. Never underestimate someone is a lesson she'd learned young.

Looking through the window, she found the driver, a young woman, with her head on the steering wheel. Lexa studied her for a moment before tapping on the window. The driver sat up then and ran a hand over her face before turning to look at Lexa and roll the window down.

"License and registration?" Lexa asked quietly. She wasn't sure how to proceed. There didn't seem to be anything apparently wrong, but the driver did seem distressed.

"Oh, uh, yeah," the woman responded. She grabbed her purse from the seat next to her and started rummaging through it before also going through her glove box for the registration. She then handed both of them to Lexa.

Lexa studied them both carefully making sure everything was fine. The name Annie on the license matched that on the registration. "Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"I'm guessing I was speeding."

That answer surprised Lexa. "You don't know if you were speeding?"

Annie seemed to take a moment to think it over for a minute before shaking her head. "No, I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

There was something going on, of that Lexa was sure. Lexa became a police officer to help people, that would always be her first priority, even if others didn't like it. "Is everything alright?"

"I don't know. I am sorry if I was speeding. All I could think about was getting to my daughter's school. They called and said she had been hurt and I needed to get there as soon as I could. They wouldn't tell me anything else."

"How old is you daughter?"

"She just turned eight. She's always been a klutz but we haven't experienced any serious injuries yet."

Lexa couldn't help but think about what Clarke would do if she got a call like about Avery. Then she thought about if she had been the one that got that call. She'd probably race to be with Avery just the same. That little girl had changed everything for her.

She handed Annie back her things. "I'm going to let you go with a warning. Please slow down. It doesn't do your daughter any good if she get hurt trying to get to her."

Annie nodded her head. "You're right. Thank you, officer."

"I hope everything is well with your daughter. Hope your day gets better." She waited in her car, only pulling away when she could no longer see Annie's vehicle. Shaking the thoughts of something happening to Avery, she pulled away from the curb to finish her patrol.

~CL~

2 weeks later

Clarke wandered the halls of the hospital with no real destination in mind. She'd been thinking more seriously about going into general medicine. Working in the hospital was taking a toll on her mentally. It wasn't easy living so far away from Avery, but now that she was living back home, she had realized how much she had missed. On top of that there were days where she didn't get to see her daughter at all, and that was so hard knowing she was so close.

The switch wouldn't be hard. She already had all the education she needed. She hadn't been sure exactly what occupation she wanted when she first started med school, so she'd taken on extra courses just trying to figure things out.

The biggest trick would be in finding a clinic willing to take her on that was local. The whole point was to get more time at home, so long drives would defeat the purpose. She'd been looking around and there seemed to be one offer that sounded almost to good to be true.

She only had another two hours left and then she could head home and call Lexa, talk it out with her. Well hopefully. She knew Lexa was getting ready for her test, but it seemed like they haven't spoken much in the last few weeks. She was really missing just hearing the other woman's voice. They would exchange texts, but that wasn't the same.

It was almost four hours later before she made it home. Just before she was set to leave, she was called down to the ER to assist with a teenager that has passed out at school. She had become erratic when the doctor tried to exam her. Clarke had always done well with teenagers, so they called her to come speak with the girl and try and calm her down.

Clarke managed to calm the girl down and learn her name was Kelly. The two talked for several minutes before Kelly finally opened up to her about her suspicions. Those were confirmed when the pregnancy test came back positive.

Clarke held the young girl as she cried, understanding what this girl was feeling. She remembered every emotion she'd gone through like it was yesterday as she watched Kelly feeling the same things.

They hooked Kelly up to some fluid and got her some food. She hadn't been eating right, to stressed out over her suspicions to eat. And she was also dehydrated. Clarke only left when she was sure the other girl was fine, promising to check on her if they held her overnight.

Still, she made it home in plenty enough time to call Lexa before she went to bed. It was several rings before the other girl finally picked up.

"Hey sweetheart," Lexa greeted. She sounded tired, but there was something in her voice Clarke didn't recognize. Maybe she was just imagining it.

"Hey, babe."

The two women catch each other up on what's been going on. It's mostly inane chatter, nothing of substance yet, but just hearing Lexa's voice made Clarke feel so much lighter.

"I probably ought to get to bed," Lexa says after a bit.

Clarke looks at the clock and does the math, Lexa doesn't usually go to bed this early. Clarke tries to tell herself that Lexa has been working really hard, plus her test was in only a few days so maybe she just needed the sleep.

"So soon?" Clarke asks in almost a teasing manner.

"It's late and I'm tired," Lexa responds. It isn't angry, but it isn't her usual lighthearted voice which has Clarke worried, but she decides maybe she should just let her go. "Okay, there's something I wanted to talk to you about, maybe tomorrow?"

"Yeah, sure, tomorrow. Goodnight."

Clarke goes to respond, but soon realizes that Lexa has already hung up. Trying not to let it get to her, she goes in search of Avery. Time with her daughter should perk her right up.

The next day comes and Clarke tries to call a couple times but doesn't get any answer. She's starting to get really worried, so she sends her a text instead. "Please at least text me, let me know you are okay."

She receives a response soon after that Lexa is fine but that she can't talk and that was all.

She finally gets Lexa on the phone the next day. "Is everything alright?" she asks hesitantly. She wants to add 'with us' but doesn't.

"Yes, everything is fine. There's just a lot going on right now."

Clarke takes a deep breath, trying to get herself to feel better but it doesn't work. "I really wanted to talk about this job opportunity with you. Get your opinion."

"Oh, now you want to talk?"

Clarke could hear the thin line of anger in Lexa's voice but wasn't sure what she had done to deserve it. "Um, yes?" she leaves it hanging hoping Lexa will explain, but she doesn't.

"I thought maybe we could make this decision together. I mean it will affect you too."

"Look, Clarke, I really don't have the time. My test is tomorrow, and I need to make sure I'm ready."

"I know, I know," Clarke agreed. She knew Lexa would be nervous about the test, but wasn't that enough to make her act the way is right now? She wasn't sure. "I just really want your input."

"Five months."

"What?" She was thoroughly confused now.

Lexa growled. "You didn't want my opinion for the first five months we were together. Not enough to tell me about Avery."

Clarke always knew that could come back to bite her. But why now? She couldn't figure out what had changed. What she had done wrong to make Lexa so mad at her now.

"I did."

"No, you didn't, or you would have told me sooner. I gotta go." There was no goodbye, the line just went dead.

Still Clarke wished Lexa good luck on her test the next morning. She never got a response.

~CL~

Clarke plopped herself on the couch in one of the employee lounges and checked her phone. She was excited to see a notification, but then realized it was just spam. She hadn't heard from Lexa more than a good morning in almost two weeks now. And even those came in after Clarke's own text. She didn't know what to do about this distance between them. She didn't even know if Lexa passed her test.

One of the nurses entered the room and saw the state Clarke was in. "Everything okay?"

Startled, Clarke looked up to look at Niylah. "Yeah, just fine."

"Doesn't look fine."

Clarke let out a deep breath. "No, I guess not. I got into a fight with Lexa and she's not talking to me."

"Your off tomorrow right?"

Clarke wasn't sure how she knew that or why she was even asking. "Yes," she answered hesitantly.

"There's this bar down the block that some of the nurses go to. Why don't you come with? Get your mind off it for a night. Might make you feel better."

She didn't think it would, but there wasn't any harm she supposed. It was the weekend and Avery was spending the night at Trish's house. "Sure."

By the time her shift was over, Clarke was almost looking forward to going out. It had been a long since she had a night out. She couldn't even remember the last time she was in a bar. Her and Lexa had gone to one of the gay clubs in the beginning of their relationship, but that was probably the last time.

She didn't care to get to dolled up. She wasn't going to impress anyone. But she did pull her hair up and put on some make up before heading out. It would be good to get out of her head for a little while.

The bar was hopping by the time she walked through the doors. Most of the tables were taken and many were one the dance floor. She looked around and saw a lot of faces she recognized, but none of them were Niylah. She eventually spotted the other woman at the bar and headed her way.

"You made it," the nurse greeted.

"Yeah, I did," Clarke smiled.

Niylah pushed a drink towards her. "You seem like a Sex on the Beach kind of girl."

Clarke laughed. "The drink, yes. The act, not so much."

They danced and laughed and were having a great time.

"Those hips sure can move," Niylah said when they moved from the dance floor back towards the bar. Clarke wasn't sure, but she thought the other woman was flirting with her. She'd never picked up a hint of interest from the other girl in the time they'd worked together so she let it go.

That was a mistake. The flirting continued, but she passed it off as Niylah was drunk and didn't know what she was doing. It wasn't until the other woman touched her shoulder that she realized what was happening and pulled back.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't know. I just thought…"

"Thought what?" What could the other woman possibly be thinking.

"I mean, you came here tonight."

Clarke looked at her questioningly. "I'm not sure what you are saying."

"You agreed to come out with me tonight."

"Yeah, as a friend."

"A friend?" Niylah almost screeched. "That's it."

"What else did you think it meant?" Clarke didn't really get it. Niylah new she had girlfriend. "I'm in relationship, with the woman I love."

"But you said she isn't even talking to you."

"Because we are in a fight, not broken up." What the actual hell? Is all Clarke could think. How did Niylah conclude she was available from their conversation? "I gotta go."

She couldn't stop thinking about the situation the whole way home. It kept her up most of the night, but she finally fell asleep around five in the morning.

~CL~

Another week had gone by and Clarke still hadn't heard from Lexa more than a text here and there. But she was almost avoiding her now too. She was so glad she'd put a stop to whatever Niylah was going to try before it happened, but it still ate at her. She couldn't help but wonder if she'd done something to give the other woman the wrong signals.

She had hope though that soon things would be okay again. Lexa was still talking to Avery almost every day. So whatever issue she had with Clarke hadn't bled over to her daughter. For that she was thankful.

Avery tried to ask a few times what was going on. She knew her mom hadn't been talking to Lexa like normal, but Clarke gave her no answers. She wasn't even sure what to say. She didn't know what to do to fix things either.

Since she didn't have to work today, she just lounged around the house, catching up on some of the shows she'd gotten into. Avery was in the room with her, but her nose was in a book as usual. Clarke tried to get her to go out and spend time with friends, but Avery insisted she wanted to be home with her mom even if they didn't do anything.

The doorbell rang and Clarke expected Avery to jump up, figuring she'd changed her mind and it was one of her friends, but the girl didn't do that. "Aren't you going to get that?"

Avery looked up at her. "Why? It's not for me."

"How do you know that?" Avery just shrugged.

The bell rang a second time and Clarke realized that Avery definitely wasn't going to move so she made herself get up and head for the door. Throwing it open, she couldn't see anyone. She moved to close the door thinking it was kids just playing a game of doorbell ditch.

There was a noise coming from the side of the house though, so curiosity got the better of her and she headed that way. Soon she recognized the music she was hearing. She knew this song. When she rounded the side of the house she gasped in surprise.

There stood Lexa, surrounded by flowers. "Lexa?"

The other woman smiled as Clarke got closer, that smirky grin she was known for. When Clarke was almost in reach, Lexa pulled something from her pocket and went down on one knee. "I'm so sorry for what I said that day." There was no question to what she was talking about. "I didn't mean it, there was just so much happening, and I'll tell you all about later. For now, just know I love you more than anything. So, I have to ask. Will you marry me?"

A/N 2: Ah cliffhanger. Like you all don't know what could possibly happen next. But this chapter is already so long, but I really wanted it to end there since it's one a nice chapter number. I had originally planned to extend that drama, but it just didn't feel right anymore.