Valentine, You're a Horse
JT frowned at the cartoon pony leering at him with dead violet eyes. The pink background and bedazzled coat of arms trapped her in a pastel prison. The glossy sheen coating the card seemed unnatural over the muted colors. He lowered his gaze to the inscription in a darker shade of pink, pursing his lips as he read the caption.
Sitting next to him at a table in the agents' break room, Chops swung his arm around JT's shoulders and grinned. He jostled him slightly, his grin infectious. Tilting his head, he asked, "So, what do you think?"
"Well, I'm wondering where in tarnation did you get this card? Definitely not Hallmark, right?" JT retorted, arching an eyebrow.
"It's the finest Valentine's Day card offered by Google Images. Let me tell you, the girl at Staples was thrilled when she saw it and got to apply the gloss." Chops patted his back, chuckling. "I knew it would leave you speechless."
JT snorted and pressed the card to his chest. His mouth twitched into a tight smile. Considering Chops enjoyed his fair share of antics, gifting JT a My Little Pony Valentine's Day card with an altered caption was right up his alley.
"Oh, I got one more for you," Chops said, reaching into his back pocket. He handed JT a smooth envelope, grinning from ear to ear.
"Is it another peculiar varmint of cartoon pony?" JT asked, tearing off the top of the envelope.
He placed his hand over his heart and looked away, closing his eyes. "I won't confirm nor deny anything."
JT removed the card. A glittery sheen brushed across the yellow and orange striped front. He flipped it open, his sense for normalcy thrown out the window instantaneously when he locked eyes with another horse.
Blood red and gold dyed the background. In the foreground, the yellow horse stood on her hind legs. She carried a straw basket overflowing with several miniature copies of her head. She grinned at JT, holding up her head like an offering as if she expected him to eat it.
Taking a deep breath, JT read the caption as Chops snorted behind his hand, "'You.'"
Chops threw his head up and wheezed. He clapped JT's shoulder, hunching forward and laughing at the top of his lungs. Struggling to catch his breath, he pointed at JT, his chest heaving, unable to contain his sheer amusement.
"Valentine, you're a horse!" Chops rasped out, slapping his knee.
As Chops broke into a fresh peel of laughter, JT closed his eyes and grinned. The other agents, accustomed to Chops' brand of humor, paid them no mind. He set the cards on the desk, took off his hat, and buried his face into it, stifling his laughter.