Raising Winchesters

Chapter 40

Recap: At that, John stood up and moved his dishes to the sink. Once he was done, he turned and looked directly at his oldest son. "Finish up your breakfast and then meet me out on the porch, Dean. We need to talk about a few things."

"Yes, sir," Dean immediately answered. Once John was gone, he put his fork down and pushed his plate away, suddenly having lost his appetite. The last thing he wanted to do was face his father after everything that had happened the night before.

Bobby and Jim watched as Dean tried to get up the courage to go out and face his father. Sam looked on, too, not really understanding what was going on, but picking up on his brother's hesitation.

"Is Dean in trouble?" he finally asked the two older men. "Why does Daddy want to talk to him?"

Dean looked up at Jim and Bobby, too, hoping they could maybe shed a little light on just what he should be expecting. The last he'd seen of his dad, the man had been harshly spanking him.

Bobby and Jim shared a look. "Dean's not in any trouble," Jim finally answered. "There's just a few things that need to be cleared up between your daddy and your brother, Sam. It'll all be okay."

It was obvious that Dean wasn't convinced by Jim's words, at all. "He was awfully mad last night," he said as if the two hunters needed reminding of just how mad John was.

Bobby reached out and rubbed Dean's back. "Jim and I had a few words with your daddy this morning, kid. He didn't really want to hear what we had to say, but he listened anyway. So, if you're done with your breakfast, you better go on and talk to him."

Dean stood up from the table and took his dishes to the sink. Jim and Bobby both hated how defeated the boy looked. Obviously, Sam did, too, because a second later, he was climbing down from the table, too. "Wait for me, Dean," he said loudly, as he made his way over to his brother.

"Sam, you're staying here," Jim said as he grabbed Sam around the waist and hoisted him up into his lap. "This is between your daddy and Dean."

"But, what if Dean needs me?" Sam asked, his puppy dog eyes in full effect as he tried to climb back down. "What if Daddy yells at him or tries to spank him again?"

"I'll be okay, Sammy. If I need you, I'll call for you, okay?" Dean tried to give his brother a brave smile, but he figured he must've failed because Sam looked like he was going to cry.

"Okay, Dean," his little brother answered as he settled back into Jim's lap.

Dean turned and walked out of the kitchen, shoulders hunched somewhat, but head held up as high as he could.

John had done a lot of thinking after the events of the night before and of the early morning. There was a part of him that didn't think he'd done anything wrong in the way he was handling Dean and that part wanted nothing more than to grab both of his boys, pack up the Impala, and leave without a second glance back.

He knew his expectations of both of his boys were not normal, but he also knew that things couldn't be normal in the life they were living. He had to know that Dean could handle the things that were thrown at him, that the boy would be able to overcome his fears and doubt, that nothing would get in his way of doing what he was supposed to do.

Nothing was more important to him than training his boys to fight the evil that was out there. John knew that that was the only way he could keep them completely safe.

Jim and Bobby didn't understand that, even though John thought that they should. Both men's lives had been shattered by something evil and supernatural. Both men were hunters now because of those events. They, of all people, should understand the importance of being aware, of being ready, of being capable, of doing what needed to be done.

In their lives, there was no room for hesitation. Or for coddling. Weakness and fear had to be culled. When something happened, a hunter had to do whatever it took to get past it. They didn't have time for Dean to come to terms with what he did. The boy had to get over it and get on with it. That was the only way John could keep them safe. The only way he could guarantee that Dean could keep Sam safe when John wasn't around.

Of course, there was the other part of him- probably the part of him that actually took into consideration what Mary would've thought of the way he was raising his sons- that knew he was being unreasonable.

Dean was just a child. He was an extraordinary child, for sure, but he was still just a child. And his reactions with everything that had happened recently were perfectly normal.

Even though the kid knew deep down that Nora was a monster, he still had a hard time reconciling that with the fact that she looked like a normal woman. It probably would've been easier for him to deal with if she had looked like a scary monster, although, if John was being honest with himself, he knew that Dean would've still had a hard time with the fact that he'd killed a living thing.

So, how could he expect his son to get over all of that so easily? How could he think that the kid would be mentally ready to pick up a gun again so soon? To head back out on the road where their lives were filled with weapons, crappy food, and crappy nights in even crappier motels where he was left alone to look after his brother while his dad was out hunting monsters or drinking to escape his pain?

It was too much and John knew it.

The problem was, though, that he didn't know how to stop it. He'd tried before, but it never lasted. There had been times in the past where he'd settled down somewhere with the intent of staying for the long haul. He would enroll the boys in the local school and he'd get a job in some garage somewhere. He'd be there in the afternoon when the boys came home from school and at night when they'd go to bed. He'd be there in the morning, waking them up and making sure they got on the bus.

He'd buy groceries and fix leaky faucets and make sure the boys did their homework. But then, he'd hear about some weird disappearance close by. Or some strange death that was like nothing anyone had ever seen before. He'd pick up a few newspapers and hang out at a few bars, getting information on something that might be harmful to his family, and then he'd head out to do a little more research. And a little more.

That research would inevitably lead to John hunting whatever supernatural thing he'd stumbled upon and then he'd be pulled right back into the life. Like an addict looking for his fix. Suddenly, nothing was more important than making sure his boys were safe from monsters and demons and evil. Suddenly, he forgot about homework and bath time and leaky faucets and empty cupboards. He forgot about little boys that were scared to be left alone all night again. He forgot about the responsibilities he should be shouldering that were then placed upon Dean's fragile shoulders.

Those were the times that he forgot what it meant to be a father.

But leave it to Bobby Singer and Jim Murphy to remind him of that.

He knew he owed them for everything they'd done for his little family, even if sometimes he didn't welcome their help. He knew they cared about his boys as if they were blood family and he appreciated it. But sometimes he wished they would just butt out.

And this was one of those times. He knew that everything Jim and Bobby said about the way Dean was handling things was true, but he knew what was best for his son. Dean needed to get back up on that proverbial horse now, before the damage that was done sank its teeth even deeper into his psyche. John was never one to coddle his sons and he felt like that's exactly what Bobby and Jim were doing.

Dean was stronger than they were giving him credit for, even if he didn't know that himself. The kid needed to be reminded of that strength and he needed to be reminded of what was expected of him. And he didn't need those reminders to be handed to him with kid gloves. He was way beyond needing to be dealt with that way.

But after talking with Jim and Bobby that morning…. After listening to barely veiled threats by Jim and overtly yelled threats by Bobby of what would happen if he didn't pull his head out of his butt and act like a father, John was willing to try it their way for once. He knew that Jim's threats of making sure he never threw any cases in John's direction again were real. And he didn't doubt for a single second that Bobby wouldn't fill his backside with buckshot if he screwed this up.

Settling himself down on the steps of the front porch, John took a few seconds to look up to the sky. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and did something he hadn't done since before Mary died.

He prayed.

Author's note: Okay, y'all….. I know this is a pretty short chapter, but John just wouldn't leave me alone. He was insisting that I give you all a little insight into his side of things, maybe in an attempt to make you all hate him a little less. ;)

Did it work?

Anyway, there will be more to come soon. And when I say more, I really think the next chapter might be the last. I know I keep saying that, but these darn characters just aren't cooperating with my plans. It's like they all have a mind of their own.

Thanks for reading and reviewing. I'd love to hear your thoughts on everything. Take care.