Chapter Forty-One: Everlong
Not much other conversation happened between the two boys as they waited restlessly for their ride up to Nevers Road. With every minute, the apartment darkened further around them as the sun slipped beneath the horizon. Between the high-rises and past the smokestacks, the sun's rays grew dimmer as Kachi stared off to the street below. The pale orange streetlights flickered on as a gentle sigh left his lips.
As the canine put a hand upon the cold glass, Legosi left his post at the couch and began to pace idly around the living room. A few minutes passed, and pondering the time, the wolf reached into his pocket and produced his phone. The screen flashed on; the time being displayed in a large font across the top half. Four-fifteen. Fifteen minutes to go.
Legosi put to rest his pacing for a moment, stopping behind Kachi and staring out into the city along with him. The neighborhood the gym was situated in didn't have much to look at, though the outside world always seemed to be more interesting than looking around the same room for the fiftieth time.
Snowflakes fell gently from the sky, landing where they may, reflecting any light that hit them on their journey to the already lightly dusted asphalt below. Legosi pulled himself away from the window, leaving Kachi to continue keeping watch for his mother. He looked back down to his phone, swiping down from the top of the screen.
No messages…why do I keep checking?
With nothing to look at on his phone, he put the device back into his pocket and returned to the couch. He drummed his fingers upon the armrest, watching Kachi stare wistfully out the window. A question Legosi often asked himself was 'What is he thinking right now, what's going through his head?' He'd always been scared to ask, but no more.
Even still…it didn't seem appropriate then. He knew the canine was stressed about seeing his mother again, especially after the falling out they'd had. Legosi was proud of Kachi for agreeing to see her again and was grateful that he trusted him enough to ask him to be there with him. It gave the wolf some reassurance that the dark tunnel they'd been going through was finally reaching its end. After all, at the end of the tunnel there is always light.
The process of getting up from the couch, staring out the window with Kachi, and pulling out his phone before going back to the couch repeated itself once more before Legosi noticed a shift in demeanor from Kachi. His ears stood on end as he took a step back from the window.
Curious, Legosi stood up, tilting his head in confusion, "Something wrong?"
Kachi shook his head before looking over his shoulder toward the wolf, "No. Mom's here, though…" He fell silent for a moment before a thought occurred to him, "Uh, just start getting ready, I left my phone in my room. I'll be right back." He spoke rather quickly, and before Legosi could get a word in, Kachi had already disappeared down the hall.
Certain he wasn't being tailed, Kachi dipped into the darkened bedroom, turning the light on as he did. Stepping deeper into the room, his gaze turned instinctively toward the desk, which had been scrubbed of any stain that he may have left. For a moment, Kachi pondered how Legosi did it, seeing as he couldn't pick up any hints of cleaning products, nor did he smell blood.
He shook his head, pulling his eyes away. It wasn't the time to be distracted. He knelt in front of his bag and began fishing though it, in search of the thing he'd buried deep within its confines. Seconds later, his hand brushed the surface of what he'd been looking for.
Kachi grabbed a hold of the object and pulled it free from the mass of clothing. The envelope, its light brown paper housing the card he'd purchased for Legosi, brought a small wave of guilt upon the canine. He still hadn't filled it out, and the day he'd be giving it, as well as the gift, had arrived. He sighed as he shoved the envelope into the pocket of his sweater.
I'll have to fill this out at the house.
Plunging his hand back into the bag, Kachi felt around for the second half of Legosi's gift; the much more important half. It didn't take him too long, thankfully, as the case in which the chain was housed was much firmer than a pile of clothes. After pulling the case free from its cotton prison, he opened it, making sure the chain hadn't fallen out.
The silver links shone brighter than they did when he first looked at it in the jewelry store. Kachi tilted it slowly, allowing the room's light to reflect and bounce off it in all directions. A weak smile crept onto the canine's face as he closed the case and carefully put it into his pocket along with the envelope. He then picked himself up from the floor, heading toward the door.
As he was about to cross into the hallway, he stopped himself, remembering that there was one more thing he needed. He took a few steps back, extending his hand toward the desk. Upon it sat his phone, the thing the told Legosi he was going to get. As he scooped it off the wooden surface, he checked his battery percentage.
Forty-three…yeah, that's enough to get by.
Kachi shoved the device into the pocket of his pants before leaving the room for certain, shutting the light off and closing the door as he did so. He jogged down the hallway, rounding the corner to the entryway to see Legosi all dressed and ready to go.
"Sorry, took longer than I expected to find the damned thing," explained Kachi, throwing his jacket over his shoulders.
While Kachi tied his shoes, Legosi gave a dismissive shrug, "It's fine, I'm not the one you're really keeping waiting, though…hope your Mom's not too upset…" He turned his head toward the door.
"Nah, she wouldn't do that…unless she would? Anyway, we should probably go."
Legosi nodded as Kachi stood back upright. The wolf pulled the door open, allowing Kachi to pass him by before closing it behind them. The early evening's chilly air had already begun to set in as they descended the stairs to the street, the cold intensifying as they pushed the second door open and stepped onto the snow-covered sidewalk.
Just a few meters from the door sat Rae-Anne's white Tundra, the paintjob sullied by the salt and sand used to melt the snow on the roads, making it look less white and more brown. Briefly looking upward and through the windshield, Kachi locked eyes with his mother, who stared back toward the two canines with a saddened expression. Kachi quickly looked away as he walked around the driver's side of the truck.
Kachi pulled the rear-driver door open and climbed into the vehicle, promptly closing the door, and fastening his seatbelt. He turned his gaze to the window as Legosi clambered into the truck as well. There was a surprising amount of room in the cab; it was large enough for two six-foot canines to sit comfortably in the back. In turn, it made the truck seem just a bit too big for Rae-Anne, her seat pulled as far forward and raised as high as it would go.
Once both boys were strapped in, Rae-Anne pulled her worried gaze from the rear-view mirror and back toward the street as she shifted the truck into drive. The vehicle lurched forward and away from the curb, beginning the thirty-minute return trip from Shen's gym to Nevers Road.
With it being Rexmas Eve, the streets were mostly empty, with most businesses having been shuttered for the holiday, so their owners and employees may spend time with loved ones. With every streetlight they passed, a column of warm, orange light was cast into the vehicle. As the silence continued between the three canines, Kachi held his gaze strong toward the street below.
The radio played holiday tunes at a low volume as the sound of the tires against the salt-covered asphalt and the low, constant hum of the engine filled the cab, muffling the sound of the music even further. Rae-Anne stared at the road ahead with tired eyes, her grip tight on the steering wheel. A gentle sigh left her lips as she glanced upward at the rear-view mirror once more. Both Legosi, as well as her son were staring out the window.
Not a word was spoken between any of them for the first ten minutes of the ride, Rae-Anne having been holding onto a sliver of a chance that one of the boys would speak first and tear the heavy silence in the cab asunder. Her calls went unanswered as she realized she'd have to bite the bullet…again.
With a shaky breath in, she gently cleared her throat, "So, how have things been?" Her voice was just above a whisper, but the boys' keen ears picked up on the sudden sound near instantly. They both pulled their gazes away from the window, turning their attention toward the front of the cab.
As she stared into the mirror toward the back seat, Rae-Anne found herself unable to meet her son's eyes. The look she'd been given, though it was most certainly just a neutral expression, sent waves of guilt crashing over her. Unable to look at her son, Rae-Anne found herself gravitating toward Legosi.
The wolf tilted his head in confusion, curious as to why his friend's mother was choosing to focus on him. Not wanting to leave the question hanging, Legosi sat himself upright, "Uh, not much. We've just been taking it easy…"
Kachi shifted his gaze back to the street. He unfocused his vision in an attempt to tune out the conversation between Legosi and his mother. He was glad that he didn't have to speak with her, as the sound of her voice in that moment was still akin to claws on a chalkboard. He flattened his ears, hoping to further drown out the sound.
Among all the noise, Kachi could still hear his heart beating in his ears. He creased his brows, his heart continuing like a bass drum, pounding on and on as the tempo increased. Quiet, deep breaths started as he felt himself grow hotter. The heat was always on full blast in the winter, and he didn't know why.
He couldn't ask Rae-Anne to turn it down, nor could he remove his jacket without drawing attention to himself; he could only sit in wait as the conversation around him slowly faded back in, no longer able to focus on keeping it out with his body temperature on the rise.
"It's only a small get-together, so there aren't many names to memorize," continued Rae-Anne as they pulled onto the freeway. Legosi nodded as he stared down toward the floor of the cab.
Kachi pulled his gaze away from the window and stared into the rear-view mirror, catching a glimpse of his mother staring at the road ahead. Seconds later, Rae-Anne looked upward again and quickly pulled away once she saw her son's big blue eyes staring back at her.
Kachi could sense her panic as his stare into the mirror intensified. A sinister part of him enjoyed it; perhaps then she'd be able to feel even a smidgen of the things he'd been feeling, he thought. The joy he derived from it was fleeting, and the anxiety he'd been enduring since he got into the truck returned in full force.
It felt different. He felt different. His heartrate skyrocketed as his chest squeezed. Kachi's hands, which were clasped together over his lap, gripped each other tighter. He took a deep breath in and opened his mouth.
"Who's all gonna be there?" he asked. He hadn't even intended to ask; the words formed themselves, his body spoke for him.
Legosi turned his head to the right, surprised that Kachi had spoken at all, and let alone to his mother. From the driver's seat, Rae-Anne forced herself to meet the canine's gaze. She fumbled for what to say, pondering Kachi's question as she turned her attention back to the darkened streets ahead.
"Uh, it's just going to be us three, Grandma, your Uncle Kim and Aunt Sarah, and Richard's dropping Natalie off to spend the night," she stated simply.
Kachi nodded solemnly as he finally pulled his gaze from the rear-view mirror, "So, a small gathering?" He returned to staring out the window to his right as he awaited a reply from Rae-Anne.
Rae-Anne looked back up to the mirror, paradoxically relieved and upset that Kachi was no longer staring in her direction. A weak smile found its way onto her lips as a gentle chuckle left her, "Yeah. No little cousins, so a quiet gathering, too."
Neither canine reacted to her attempt to lighten the mood in the cab. Her smile quickly faded as she shamefully turned her head back to the road, her ears falling flat against her head as the quiet holiday tunes took center stage once again.
No one spoke for the remainder of the ride to Nevers Road. The motions of the truck were all too familiar to Kachi, as the route from the freeway to the house was always the same. He didn't even have to look to know that with the final turn, they'd arrived on the street. Though it had only been a few days since his departure, to him, it felt like a lifetime.
The street was much more cluttered than usual, which was to be expected on the day of days, Rexmas Eve. Among the many vehicles that lined the snow-covered curbs, Kachi recognized two of them: the first belonging to his grandmother, and the second belonging to his aunt and uncle.
The silence within the cab continued as Rae-Anne pulled the truck into the driveway, putting it in park as she cut power to the engine. As soon as the doors were unlocked, Kachi reached for the handle to his right, pushing the door open with force and exiting the vehicle before both Rae-Anne and Legosi could even unbuckle their seatbelts.
He considered leaving the other two canines behind and entering the house alone, but the prospect of having to speak to anyone who might see him come in rattled Kachi to his very core. As much as he didn't want to wait for his mother to escort him into the house, it was his only option. His anxious mind kicked itself into high gear as two more doors closed one after the other.
Kachi watched his mother glance over her shoulder toward him after closing the driver door. Her green eyes glowed in the darkness, her breath visible in the chilly evening air. Kachi turned his head to the side, still not wanting to meet her gaze. Any eye contact was an invitation to conversation, and the canine was in no mood to speak. Rae-Anne sighed softly, starting toward the house.
Though it had only been a few days since he'd last seen his mother, it had been far longer since Kachi had seen any other member of his family. Of the ones Rae-Anne listed to him, the ones he'd gone the longest without were his aunt and uncle. It was to be expected; they only ever came around during the holiday season either way despite living across town. As the house came into view from around the truck, Kachi's head began to spin. It wasn't them he was worried about; it was the others.
The canine clasped his hands together tightly, keeping his head down as the trio approached the house. There would be no getting out of the annual holiday get-together. Kachi had given his father his word that he'd attend, and he didn't want to break Shen's trust in that matter. Still, Kachi struggled to keep unhealthy thoughts from pushing to the front of his mind.
How could this go? Well, for starters, do they know what happened here over the summer? Has Mom been lying to them, too? What about Natalie? Is she still scared of me? If they do know what happened, what if that's all they want to talk about? If they don't, then how long can I keep myself calm? I know I'll be thinking about it, trying not to say anything that might even hint at it…
Kachi hadn't seen his younger sister in months, and it had been even longer for his grandmother. Though he and Natalie weren't very close for brother and sister, it would no doubt be awkward between them. The juvenile hybrid was old enough to understand what had occurred that night was horrific, but young enough for her mental filter to not be all there quite yet.
The canines were only a few meters from the door Kachi's mind squeezed a few more painful thoughts into his conscience.
What if Natalie lets it slip? What if Mom lets it slip? What if Legosi lets it slip? Any number of things could happen. All it'll take is one sentence from either one of them, or me, to turn this whole night on its head. What's worse, I'll be dealing with the fallout for potentially years to come. This is just a disaster waiting to happen…
Kachi's jaw hung open as is breathing quickened, the warm breaths visible in the cold, wintery air. The canine glanced out of the corner of his eye toward Legosi, who was following closely to his right. The wolf flashed Kachi a comforting grin as he quickly pulled away, returning his gaze to the concrete below.
Kachi felt his body steady slightly as the wolf's face remained within his memory for a short time. Though his body stopped shaking, a heavy fog still rested over his mind, clouding all rational thought, and pulling the comforting image from him. Kachi shut his mouth, doubting he could even form a sentence as the group arrived at the door.
The door creaked as Rae-Anne pushed it open, the sound echoing throughout the house beyond, as well as within Kachi's mind. He'd heard the sound hundreds, maybe thousands of times. Never had it seemed as loud and foreboding as it had that night. Kachi swallowed hard as he stepped inside behind everyone else. Following the door latching shut, another loud noise.
"Alright, I'm back!" shouted Rae-Anne into the main level of the home.
Kachi looked up from the floor and up into the kitchen. He immediately recognized his grandmother standing in front of the stove tending to a pot, the contents of which were just out of view. Though there were only four others within the house apart from himself, his mother, and Legosi, the space was alive with conversation. The voices of all four family members could be made out, the most distinct of which being Natalie's
Almost as quickly as she entered the landing, Rae-Anne zipped up the short set of stairs into the kitchen, stopping next to her mother in front of the stove. Kachi attempted to listen into the short conversation between the two foxes, but it was lost in the rest of the chatter within the home. He stood for a moment, confused as to Rae-Anne's haste.
Was she trying to get away from me?
With the shrugging of his shoulders, the canine pulled his arms free of his jacket, hanging it on the rack next to the door. Legosi followed closely behind, both of them removing their shoes and placing them among the many pairs already there. As he bent down to place both shoes together on the doormat, Kachi felt the stiffness of the card he'd purchased for Legosi prodding into his stomach. His eyes went wide for a moment: he realized he still hadn't signed it.
As he stood upright, Legosi had already began ascending the small set of stairs to the main level. Kachi stared in his direction, unsure if he should go up with him, or try to get away to prepare the gift. In his hesitance, Legosi sensed a vacancy behind him, prompting the wolf to turn around. He was met with the large black canine staring blankly into the basement below.
His concern for Kachi growing, Legosi spun around and returned to the landing, placing a comforting hand onto the canine's shoulder. Kachi came back to Earth, inserting his hands into the pockets of his pants, "I'm here, remember?"
The reminder wasn't needed, but the sentiment was enough to put a small smile onto Kachi's face. He met the wolf's gaze, finding comfort in it, "Yeah." He took a breath in, glancing from the corner of his eye to the basement again, "Uh, I'm gonna head downstairs for a few minutes. I'll be right back up."
Legosi tilted his head, his confusion persisting. He pulled his hand away from Kachi's shoulder, lifting a finger as if to begin speaking. The words never came, however. A short silence passed between them as Legosi thought of possible reasons why the canine would need to go down there.
Reluctantly, Legosi nodded, taking a step back, "Alright. As long as you're back in a few minutes." Kachi nodded and started down the stairs, Legosi watching him the whole way down. With every step, his worry for the canine increased, as he knew what he was capable of when left alone. It was against his better judgment to let him go, but Legosi wanted to believe he could still trust Kachi to be fine by himself.
With an uneasiness settling in his stomach, Legosi turned back around and headed up the stairs into the main level of the home. Conversation was still occurring between the family members, allowing Legosi to slip past them and into the living room unnoticed. The wolf sat himself down on the couch, hoping that he'd remain invisible to them until Kachi returned. He only wished the canine would hurry up.
As Kachi rounded the corner and climbed the small set of stairs, the light from the landing disappeared quickly. It was welcoming, and thanks to his canine eyes, he had no problem navigating the narrow hallway toward the door to his bedroom.
A chill shot down Kachi's spine as he placed his hand upon the doorknob. He took in a shaky breath, observing the textures of the wood as he struggled with himself to push the door open. He grumbled, upset that entering his own room had even become an issue.
With anger rising in his heart, Kachi gripped the knob tighter, wrenching it leftward and pushing the door open with force. The only thing stopping it from striking the wall was the multiple hoodies still hung upon hooks fastened to it. He stepped inward, flipping the light switch and blinding himself momentarily. He winced.
Once the flash dissipated, Kachi slowly opened his eyes to a very different space than the one he'd left just a few short days beforehand. While he thought he'd done a good job keeping his room as tidy as possible, what he stared at was a level of spotlessness he hadn't seen in years. He thought he was good at keeping his room clean, but it was no contest when compared to his mother.
It became abundantly clear that he and his mother had a different definition for the term clean. Kachi was content with the state of his space as long as he could see the floors and the surfaces weren't cluttered. In his short leave however, Rae-Anne had taken it upon herself to do not only that, but to dust everything, deep-clean the carpet, and even remove the scuffs that had accumulated on the walls. The room looked nearly identical to the day he first stepped into it all those years ago.
Kachi stepped deeper into the room, closing the door behind him. He continued to gawk at the sheer cleanliness of the space as he made his way to his desk. Fuzzy memories of days past came flooding in; she'd even made the bed, and judging by the scent that filled the room, she'd washed the sheets, too. Kachi sat down on his bed, feeling the softness of his comforter. He stared, eyes vacant, toward the wall across him.
Has it really been that long? Five years already, huh? Things were better then. I was better then. My family was better then. If only I'd known what was coming, maybe I could have better prepared myself. Then again…don't they say that ignorance is bliss? Yeah. I'd do anything for a little ignorance right now. I wonder…if anything could ever be that good again…
Kachi allowed himself to fall backwards onto the mattress, his hands behind his head as he stared longingly toward the ceiling. The orange glow of the halogen bulb impaired his vision, and its brightness began to sting as he continued to hold his gaze upward. With a lengthy and audible sigh, Kachi shut his eyes as muffled conversations from the floor above faded away.
Then, darkness. It enveloped the canine within seconds, almost too quickly for his taste. Kachi knew he was tired, but he'd never been able to pass out that fast. With the knowledge that falling asleep at a family dinner, especially one during the holidays, was the last thing he wanted, Kachi forced his eyes back open, the bright light filling his eyes once again.
Kachi's brows creased. Something seemed off, though he couldn't quite place it. The light was a different color temperature. Perhaps it was just his eyes adjusting to it, he thought. A soft groan escaped his lips as he rubbed his eyes. Shortly afterward, Kachi sat himself back up, continuing to rub his eyes when he was upright. Though relief was minimal, it was better than nothing.
Kachi lowered his hands to his lap, waiting patiently for the room to fade back in so he could execute the task he'd gone to the basement for in the first place. He lifted one hand to the pocket of his sweater to make sure he hadn't damaged anything. As everything felt intact, Kachi was content.
As he was about to pick himself up from the surface of his bed, a sudden shuffling had drawn his attention. He pulled his gaze away from his lap and toward the source of the noise. Kachi didn't have to look too far to find the source, and what he saw was beyond his wildest dreams. Standing around the corner, in front of the shuttered door, was what looked to be a small, black canine with blue eyes.
Kachi stared with awe, unsure if what he saw was what he thought it was. He remained still as the small canine stared toward him with a mixture of confusion, fear, and intrigue. Their gazes locked as Kachi's heartrate increased. The blue color of the smaller canine's eyes was a bright as the ocean on a hot summer's day. His dressed matched that fact, as he wore a loose-fitting t-shirt and shorts.
Continuing his observation of the anomalous canine, and using the door as a control, Kachi deciphered that the young canine's height was around five feet, a full foot shorter than himself. The silence continued as Kachi waited for the apparition to disappear, but the longer he stared into its eyes, the more it seemed that it wasn't going anywhere.
"Who are you?" asked the small canine suddenly. The voice was enough to cause Kachi to jump; his gaze no longer locked onto the one across from him.
Kachi processed his words for a moment before giving him a response, "I suppose I could ask you the same thing." His mother had given him a list of those who would be attending the dinner. That, and she confirmed there would be no young children apart from Natalie. A small, black canine fit neither category.
"My name's Kachi," the other canine replied, his gaze still held strong toward the canine sitting on the bed.
Kachi's eyes went wide; it was not a sentence he was prepared to hear. He didn't want to believe the conclusion his mind came to; to do so would be an admission of insanity. Was he really talking to a younger self? The only way to be sure was to ask. Kachi licked his lips as his gaze toward the younger canine intensified.
"Yeah? Interesting." Kachi struggled to keep his tone level, "Could I ask you a few questions?" The young canine nodded. "Perfect. When's your birthday?"
"August fourth, two-thousand-one," replied Younger Kachi.
A lump formed in Kachi's throat, "Okay…what's your mom's name?"
Just as he did last time, the younger canine piped up instantly, "Um…Rae-Anne I think…"
Kachi's jaw fell open slightly. The canine was two for two. He knew asking any further questions would only further his confirmation. He was, in fact, somehow, speaking with a younger self.
You are officially insane, Kachi…ah well, might as well embrace it.
"I see…good. Alright, one more…how old are you?" Kachi rested his arms upon his lap as he waited for the younger canine to reply.
"Twelve," he said, moments later. The number held some significance to Kachi. It was his age when he first moved to Nevers Road. It still hadn't fully settled with him that he was talking to a self five years his junior, but the elder canine's thoughts were cut short when he apparently hadn't replied quick enough. "What about my question?"
Kachi blinked once, "Oh, sorry. What was it again?"
The younger canine crossed his arms, "Who are you?"
Kachi chuckled, forcing a smile, "Right…This might not make much sense, but I guess I'm you, but older."
Young Kachi's eyes lit up. A big smile spread across his face as his hesitation was cast aside. He ran forward, hopping up onto the large bed and sitting next to his elder self, looking up toward him with wonder, "Wow, really? How old are you?"
Kachi's smile turned genuine as he realized it was his turn to be quizzed, "I'm seventeen."
Young Kachi got to his knees and gripped the sleeve of the elder canine's sweater. As the fabric tugged upon his fur, little jolts of pain were sent shooting up Kachi's arm; the fabric putting pressure upon his freshly closed wounds. He managed a straight face, not wanting to alarm the one next to him.
"Seventeen? You're old!" he shouted. Kachi scoffed playfully as he rolled his eyes. "What's it like being seventeen?"
Kachi pulled his gaze away from the young canine as his smile disappeared. It was a tough question to answer. His default response was to tell him that it was good, but to do that would be an outright lie. Kachi didn't want to lie to him, even if he wasn't real. He didn't want to lie to himself.
I've been miserable since before seventeen…I can't tell him that. So, what do I say?
Kachi thought for a moment as the younger Kachi stared intensely toward him, ready to listen to the wisdom he had to present. A soft sigh left Kachi's lips as he glanced back toward the young canine, "It's interesting. I'm almost finished high school. I'll be able to drive on my own soon, and hopefully, go off to university in the fall…"
His voice trailed off as he strained to keep it steady. Tears pooled in his eyes as he pulled them away from Young Kachi and back toward the wall across him. He gripped his thighs tightly, making a point not to accidentally hurt himself.
Will I even make it to then?
Without looking back toward him, Kachi continued, "Yeah. Just gotta finish high school."
Even with his less-than-enthusiastic delivery, Young Kachi still seemed captivated by his elder's response, "Cool! I can't wait for high school." A short silence passed over the room as the younger canine took to looking around the space, "Mom said this was gonna be my room."
Kachi chuckled, "Yeah? Well, it's a nice room. It's cool in the summer, but it can get pretty chilly in the winter, you'll want to wear a sweater in here during those months."
Young Kachi's smile weakened at the prospect of a cold room. He pulled his gaze away from elder canine and toward the carpet for a moment, lifting a hand to his chin, "Oh, okay. Thanks, I guess…"
Awkwardness began to fill the room. Even with an imaginary younger self, Kachi was unable to hold a conversation. "Yeah, no problem…" he replied, putting a hand to the back of his neck.
I used to look so happy, hell, I used to be so happy…weren't we all, though?
Not wanting to let his mind get the best of him in a conversation with himself, Kachi piped right back up, "Hey, since you're twelve, you're just starting middle school, right?"
Hearing the question, Young Kachi met his elder's gaze with a nod, the smile returning to his face. "Yeah. Just two more months." As he spoke, he clasped his hands together, rubbing his claws against each other.
"I think you're gonna like that," stated Kachi simply.
The younger canine's smile grew wider, "Really? It sounds so hard when Mom talks about it, though."
Retaining his own smile, Kachi shook his head, "Nah, you're smart. You got this. Piece of cake…hey, did Mom tell you that Dana is your neighbor now?" Even though he and his old friend weren't on the best of terms at that moment, Kachi knew his younger self would be ecstatic to hear such news. As predicted, Young Kachi reacted accordingly.
"What, really?" he shouted, gripping Kachi's arm once more. The pain was more difficult to hide the second time around, but just as he did before, he pushed through it.
"Yeah. You'll be able to see each other every day."
The younger canine's eyes lit up brighter than ever before, and the wagging of his tail was creating a noticeable breeze behind him, "That's awesome! If you really are me, does that mean you're still friends?" Kachi's breath hitched in his throat.
I can't tell him what happened. It would be cruel, but more likely, he wouldn't understand.
"We're still friends." It was the truth. Even with what happened ingrained within his memory, Kachi would be lying if he didn't consider Dana to still be his friend. The rift between them was wide, and the labradoodle's reluctance to speak with him was frustrating, but through it all, Kachi knew Dana was still his friend.
"He cares a lot about you, well, us. So, make sure he knows that, okay?" Kachi continued.
Young Kachi's excitement seemed endless. "I will!"
Kachi draped an arm over the young canine's shoulders. "You'll make new friends during your years there, too. And in high school. You've got a look forward to, y'know?"
"I know! I'm excited!" replied Young Kachi almost instantly.
As he took in the young canine's youthful excitement, negative emotions began to sweep over Kachi once more. Tears began to fill his eyes again, his heart aching as he listened to him continue to ramble on about how exciting his future would be. "Good. That's good," Kachi managed, keeping his voice steady.
Is this how far I've fallen? I'm glad to see him happy, but…I guess ignorance really is bliss.
As he continued to listen to the younger canine express his pure joy, Kachi made out a second voice calling out to him. Young Kachi seemed to have picked up on it as well, as both of their ears were standing up straight and pointed in the direction of the noise. A short moment later, the younger canine looked up to Kachi.
"That's Mom. I gotta go," he stated, a hint of disappointment in his voice.
Kachi tilted his head in confusion. The voice he heard wasn't his mother's, but Legosi's. As he thought about it, it made sense; Young Kachi hadn't met the wolf yet. "Ah, yeah, you should go, then. Don't want her to worry."
Young Kachi nodded once, hopping down from the bed and onto the floor below. He jogged toward the door, putting his hand onto the knob before turning back to face the elder canine. He flashed him a toothy grin, "I can't wait to be a big, strong fox like you!"
Kachi couldn't help but chuckle as the younger canine pulled the door open and disappeared into the darkness. "No. No, you really shouldn't want that…" whispered Kachi to himself. Tears spilled onto his cheeks as he lied back down onto the bed, allowing himself a few minutes to try and calm himself down.
Just as it had before, the voice called out to him again. Kachi's eyes shot open, once again met with the ceiling of his room. The color temperature had returned to normal, prompting him to sit back up. Standing in the corner where Young Kachi was moments ago was Legosi, gripping the wall as he peeked into the room. An expression of concern was spread across the wolf's face.
"You okay? You were gone a lot longer than just a few minutes," stated Legosi, stepping further into the room.
Kachi lifted a hand to his face to dry it, "Really? How long's it been?"
Legosi put his hands into his pockets, "Fifteen. I couldn't wait any longer, I- hey, are you crying again?"
Kachi shrugged as he wiped his hand on the leg of his pants, "I guess so."
Legosi crossed the room, sitting in the same spot on the bed Young Kachi did, "Did you wanna talk about it?"
"Yeah…I must've fallen asleep. I had this strange dream where I saw myself when I was twelve. We ended up talking for a bit, but then Mom called him off. Though, the voice I heard wasn't hers, it was yours," Kachi explained.
Legosi shrugged, "I did call your name from the hallway. I got worried when you didn't answer, so I came in."
Kachi placed his hands into the pocket of his hoodie as he directed his gaze to the floor, "Yeah, no that's fine. I didn't think I'd fall asleep that quickly…not like I was trying to fall asleep, either. Guess I'm just tired."
"Yeah. Well, you can sleep all you want tonight. Unless your dad wants us up at some ridiculous time tomorrow," said Legosi with a chuckle. Kachi reciprocated rather unceremoniously as he kept his eyes away from the wolf, "What were you even down here for?"
Kachi sat up straight. "Uh, just to have a look around," he lied.
"Oh. That's fair, I guess." Legosi awkwardly lifted a hand to his neck. "Your mom sent me down here to tell you dinner's almost ready. She's also kinda disappointed you haven't spoken to anyone yet."
Kachi shook his head at the mention of his mother, "I'll talk with everyone, it's her I'm worried about…So dinner's almost done?" Legosi only offered a nod in reply. "Okay, well just give me one more minute," continued Kachi, remembering the true purpose of his trip to the basement. Legosi raised an eyebrow as he met the canine's gaze. "I promise I won't fall asleep again."
Legosi folded his arms over his chest, "Alright, but I'd better not have to come down here a second time. Your mother calling upon me to go get you was the most awkward interaction I've had in a while."
Kachi cringed, "Ouch. Sorry. Yeah, I'll be quick."
Legosi nodded. "Thanks," he stated as he got up from the bed, leaving the room shortly afterward.
Once he was certain that Legosi was gone, Kachi left the bed as well, heading toward his dresser. He reached for the top drawer, the one in which he kept loose items so they weren't strewn about the place. He shoved his hand into it, fishing around until he felt one of the many pens he'd thrown into it.
With the pen in hand, he crossed the room, producing the card and gift he'd purchased for Legosi as he sat down. Kachi opened the little case the chain was contained in, removing it and holding it up to the light. The silver glimmered as it dangled between his fingers, the mirror finish allowing him to see his reflection in the links.
He set the chain down softly onto the surface of his desk as he turned his attention to the card. Kachi pulled the card from its envelope and opened it, staring into the ample blank space it had in which to write anything he desired. He clicked he pen, twirling it as he rushed to come up with something nice. After thirty seconds, he realized that it didn't have to be anything flashy.
Thank you…for everything
Tears welled in the canine's eyes as he pulled the pen away from the short sentence he'd written. He forced the tears back as he closed the card and tucked it away in its envelope. Kachi then flipped the envelope around, writing Legosi's name on it with careful attention to detail. Once finished, he returned the chain to its case and shoved both it, and the card, back into his pocket.