Chapter Forty-One: Home

It had been a week since Regina had brought Emma back home from the hospital and she had been nothing but amazing. She had missed work. She had been by her side for every fever, held her after every nightmare, changed her dressing. She helped her in the bathroom, cooked her every meal, read her books until Emma fell asleep in her arms. She was amazing. And the guilty of Emma's secret was eating her alive. She knew she needed to tell her what happened the night before the accident. She knew Regina deserved to know the truth, but she couldn't bring herself to tell her that. She loved her as she had never loved anyone else before and she simply couldn't lose her.

She tried to tell her, that first night when they came back. They were lying together in bed while Regina ran her fingers on Emma's hair. Regina kissed the top of her hair and told Emma she loved her. After hearing the words Emma simply started to cry. Regina was worried, thinking she had hurt Emma or one of her stitches had open but when Emma looked at her and told her there was something she needed to tell her about the night they fight, Regina silent her with a kiss. It will be time for that after you are healed, Regina said and so, Emma was more than willing to put this conversation in the back of her mind.

It wasn't easy. Emma didn't like that she was lying to Regina, she didn't like that she was keeping something from such an amazing woman. She wanted to change. She wanted to be better, for herself and for Regina. She deserved that, they deserved that. Emma was lying in bed waiting for Regina to come back up with lunch. She wasn't allowed to help or even leave the room. Regina barely let her walk down the stairs. As a matter of fact, now that Emma thought about it, it had been a week since she was lock up in the bedroom. Of all the times Emma thought about spending a week locked up in a room with a beautiful woman, been all injured and hardly able to move was not what she had in mind. Emma felt pressure on her navel and that's how she knew she had to pee. She moved slowly, dragging her body out of the bed to walk the five or six steps to the suite. God, it hurt to walk. How was it possible that she hadn't broken her ribs or legs with that much pain?

"What are you doing?" Regina's desperate voice came behind her.

"I have to pee," Emma said.

"Why didn't you call me?" Regina said moving to her side.

"Regina, I can handle going to the bathroom alone" Emma smiled softly.

"Emma, you are hurt," Regina said concerned.

"I know," Emma said "But seriously, I can handle pee all by myself now. I'm a big girl" Emma joked.

"Are you sure about that?" Regina asked.

"Yep," Emma said and pecked her lips "I'm fine"

"I love you," Regina said.

"I love you too," Emma smile "But I am just going to pee"

"Okay," Regina said and squeezed her hand "Call me if you need help okay? Are you sure you can seat on the toilet by yourself?"

"Yeah," Emma said "I'll be right back"

Emma turned around and walk inside the bathroom. She didn't close the door, she knew Regina wouldn't like that. It hurt to pull the sweat pants down and it hurt to sit down without help, but Emma tried her best not to show that to Regina. She had already been so worried about her, and Emma knew she needed a break. Not that Regina had complained, not even once had she, but Emma could see in her features that she was tired. As if the nightmares Emma was having weren't enough, she also had to wake up at three in the morning to give Emma her antibiotics and then again at five. Emma hated that she had put Regina in that position, even though Regina always told her she was more than happy to do it if it meant she would get better. In the end, Emma only fell more in love with her.

"Do you need any help?" Regina's voice echoed inside the bathroom.

"Nope, I got it," Emma said.

Emma pulled her pants up while still seating on the toilet and then rose from it. She flushed the toilet and washed her hands before walking back inside the bedroom where Regina had already set up the lunch tray. Emma's eyes sparkled when she saw what Regina made for lunch that day.

"Is that your lasagna?" Emma asked smiling.

"I figured you would like it," Regina said.

"Regina, you shouldn't have," Emma said "It's a lot of work"

"Yeah well, you are worth it," Regina said "Besides you were dreaming about it last night"

"How do you know that?" Emma asked walking to the bed.

"You said it in your sleep" Regina smiled and helped Emma back to bed "It was adorable"

"Did I kept you awake all night again?" Emma asked concerned.

"No, you slept the whole night for once," Regina said "I just had a lot in my mind and couldn't sleep"

"I'm sorry," Emma said sincerely.

"It's okay," Regina said fixing the tray on top of Emma "It was very cute hearing you say how much you love my lasagna"

"I do," Emma smiled "It's my favorite food ever"

Regina sat down next to Emma and they both had their lunch together. This meal was different from all the others they had before. It was lighter, calmer. Regina wasn't worried about her every movement, thinking she would break if she had to chew more than three times on a piece of meat. As for Emma, she for once didn't think about her secret. About the thing that could destroy their relationship forever. It was like the old times again, from when they had just met each other, from when Emma hadn't grown obsessed with jealousy over Robin. This what she wanted for her, for them. Emma didn't want to be that person anymore, she knew that. She needed help, professional help and she was going to get that. But for now, for those precious hours where they were just Emma and Regina again, she was going to forget about everything else and just enjoy the delicious lasagna she was sharing with the woman she was madly in love with.

The days ran by fast and she healed remarkably fast and when Emma woke up on a Saturday morning feeling particularly more energize, she decided to pay Regina back for all she had done for her. Perhaps it wasn't much, but she hoped it would at least show Regina her gratitude. Regina was sleeping by her side, her breathing was heavy and Emma was sure she would be out for a while. She was tired! As much as Regina tell her she wasn't, Emma could see the evidence on her face. Regina had dark circles under her eyes and Emma hated that she was the reason for it. She moved slowly out of the bed, trying to make as little noise and movements as possible. She froze when Regina stirred in bed, but when she showed no sign of waking up, Emma proceeded with her mission.

She could walk normally now, her ribs and legs didn't hurt anymore and the purple that once was there had become a mix of yellow and green marks and Emma almost wished they were purple again. It was prettier, she smirked. She reached the kitchen and closed the door to minimize the sounds. Emma opened the fridge and took off four eggs and a pack of bacon and started to cook. When they were done, she chopped every single fruit she could find into a bowl with yogurt, then she made the toast while waited for the coffee to be ready and then she fixed everything onto a tray. It took her over an hour to make everything and when she was done, there was so much food in it that Emma had trouble carrying it up the stairs.

"What the hell are you doing?" Regina asked eyes widened when Emma entered the room.

"I made us breakfast" Emma smiled.

"Emma, why did you do that?" Regina asked taking the tray from her "You could hurt yourself"

"Regina, I'm all better now," Emma said softly "And I wanted to make something nice to you"

"Why?"

"Because you have been nothing but perfect" Emma said "And I want you to know how much I appreciate you"

"You don't have to thank me for that" Regina said carrying the tray to the bed.

"I do!" Emma said "God, Regina you deserve someone better than me"

"Don't say that"

"It's true" Emma felt her eyes fill with tears "You do"

"I deserve you" Regina walked to Emma "Because I love you. And I deserve to be with the woman I love"

"Fuck" Emma cried.

"Oh my God, are you hurt?" Regina asked checking on Emma "You shouldn't have walked downstairs, you should have stayed in bed and…"

"I'm not hurt," Emma said quickly.

"Then why are you crying?"

"You are perfect, Regina," Emma said.

"No, I'm not," Regina said back "Come on, let's go eat" Regina held her hand.

"Did you sleep the whole night?" Emma asked cleaning the tears with her free hand.

"Only woke up to give you your meds" Regina saying sitting in bed.

"When do they end?" Emma asked.

"Tomorrow" Regina smiled.

"That's good," Emma said "You'll finally be able to sleep the whole night"

"Emma, you know that doesn't bother me, right?" Regina asked picking up a piece of crispy bacon.

"I want you to rest," Emma said "You look tired"

"Oh, thanks," Regina said sarcastically.

"You know what I mean," Emma said "I don't like the dark circles under your eyes"

"I'll put on some concealer"

"That's not what I mean either"

"I know," Regina said "But we have an appointment with Dr. Whale Monday morning and hopefully we can put this nightmare behind us"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Emma asked.

"It means that we'll finally be able to move on together after he says you are all healed and don't need any more meds"

"Oh! Well, I don't"

"That's what I hope he'll say"

"I'm good, Regina. Ready for another"

"Don't even joke about that" Regina said in a serious tone.

"Right, sorry. I'm sorry" Emma said "I didn't mean it like that"

"Getting that phone call saying you were in the hospital" Regina cried "That was one of the worse nights of my life"

"I'm sorry" Emma squeezed her hand "I'm so sorry"

"Don't ever do that to me again"

"I won't" Emma held her in her arms "I won't, I promise. I will be better. I will do better. I love you"

"I love you too"

They finished their breakfast and Emma managed to convince Regina to go out on a walk. They had been trapped inside the house for two weeks now and they both needed some fresh air. Regina didn't like the idea at first, there was no need for Emma to put her body under such stress, she was still healing. It took a lot of sweet-talking from Emma about the benefits of exercise and Regina finally agree to go on a walk with her around the house. Emma smiled and twenty minutes later they were outside hand in hand just enjoying the warm day and sun that Emma knew was just a few months away from disappearing. Her movements were slow, not because it hurt but because she had been lying in bed for two weeks now. Regina never said a thing, she followed her pace, letting Emma decide how slow or how fast they would go. She was amazing! Emma saw Pongo running in their direction and Regina quickly put herself in front of Emma in order to stop Pongo from jumping her. The dog jumped Regina instead and she bent down to pet the dog while Archie came running after him. She looked down at Regina playing with Pongo and smiled. She would be the woman Regina needed her to be if it is the last thing she does.