Oh, look! A chapter!
Chapter XXXXI
A letter for a farewell
Light shines over the dry land. The temperatures are still high, but at least now the air is breathable. The heatwave is slowly but surely dissipating as the weather eventually settles for a regular springlike climate — for whatever springlike means in Hotland.
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Sans wishes this welcomed temperature's drop had happened sooner: having to cover both at work and at home whenever Alphys's mother was around, which was the same as saying almost all the time since she came back home barely an hour after him, was a real pain. The clothes, he could somehow stand — he had gotten himself the lightest sweater he had ever seen, something which made him bless the existence of extremely humanoid Monsters because there was no way he could have done this without it. But the mask? At some point, it was expected that he would grow tired of feeling the taste of his own sweat on his lips! Something that usually leads to one of the biggest dilemmas he has to face in these last days: should he lick it — and he definitely does not want to, even though he may or may not have done it at least a couple of times — or should he let it roll down his chin and neck? Neither of those options are really tempting… And his skin is really starting to make him pay the price for both. Even if Gaster managed to convince Alphys's mother to let his "sons" live with him… Which had been harder than expected. At least, now, he does not have to be fully covered at home.
However, there is one thing that is far more concerning than hitching skin and chapped lips: Muttler definitely knows something that Sans has never intended for him to learn. He can tell he has known for at least more than a week, but it really bothers him not to be able to pin precisely what Muttler has understood — or what he thinks he has understood. At first, he could feel him detailing his moves, as if actively trying to pierce whatever secret he could get his paws on. And then, Sans noticed a growing hesitation — a mix between attempting to catch him off guard and offering opportunities to hide — before not being able to tell if Muttler was still even trying anymore.
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As he walks along the river, Sans is pondering over the possibilities. Has Muttler understood or has he simply given up? Is there something that made him think he knew enough? Should Sans worry about finding the Royal Guard waiting at the stall? He does not want to believe Muttler would betray him this way, but he has to consider it… He was part of the Royal Guard for crying out loud! Sans cannot just neglect this possibility!
The boy takes one last turn, the wooden hot-dogs shack facing him without might, shutters down and strangely silencious. Muttler must be a bit late, Sans thinks while his hand reaches for the door knob; the door does not budge. Muttler must be more than a bit late, then… Late enough to show up after Sans, at least. Considering that fact Sans would usually show up right on time — if not right after, the situation in itself is exceptional.
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Where did he say the key was already?
A flower pot or something?
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His gaze ventures around, looking for the sign of what could be left of a plant after the heatwave. There are at least a couple, but they are too far from the shack to even be considered…
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Nope, not a flower pot. There's not a single one close enough.
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However, a small hole between two boards catches his eyes. It is barely large enough for a paw to get in, but his hand would not have any problem. A small, yet strangely well-placed hole…
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It's in the hole, isn't it?
Of course, it's in the hole...
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So he fits his hand inside, hoping it will indeed be the hole. However, instead of a metallic object, his fingers can only grasp paper — one neatly folded thick piece of paper.
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I swear if it's to tell me we're not opening today…
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But the words written on the aforesaid paper say otherwise… Those words are all but a note: they are a letter. All over this yellowish paper, they are scribbled with black ink — sometimes crossed out, sometimes stained.
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Hey kid,
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I know you're probably wondering why the stall is closed, why I'm not here this morning. I won't lie and tell you I was feeling sick or that I took a day off, I didn't. I left Home yesterday and, when you'll read this, I'll already be miles away. I couldn't have bared telling you directly, I know I would have turned back… Ah! Guess I've grown soft!
I left because there is one thing, one extremely important thing, that I have to do. For an old friend who deserved better. I don't know when I'll come back, if I'll come back, so… I don't know, go on with your life? Words aren't my jam, you know that kid.
Just… Don't make the same mistakes I did, ok? Don't let the ones you care about drift away from you. You'd only notice how much you wish you hadn't once it's too late. If I have one advice to give, it would be that one. People don't always come back. People can't always come back.
I suppose this is a farewell, isn't it? I wouldn't dare to hope as much as a simple goodbye, so… Farewell, kid.
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An old dog
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His hands clench, crumpling the piece of paper. Things were getting better! They were finally getting better! So why? Why?
They had found their way to Home, they had found Gaster! They had a place to call home… A place to restart a life…
Would all of these people leave too?
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"Hey, don't cry… It's only for a few days. I'll be back before you know it."
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"Everything will be okay."
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She did not come back. Things did not turn out to be "okay". All of this… It had been nothing but a chain of events spiraling down, sinking deeper and deeper. He had never let his loved ones drift away, they had done it all on their own — intentionally, or not… Yet, somehow, it seems it has not even crossed Muttler's mind that, maybe, he was one of those people.
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"I'm out grocery shopping! Try to at least take a shower before I come back, you reek of- Ah! You know what? Just lay like a slob on the couch for at least another couple of days! After all, I'm here to do all the chores!"
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It was months ago… And he did not come back either.
He would never come back… Because he could not.
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It is true… People do not always come back, because they cannot always come back.
He is one of those people.
They all are.
I legit got myself crying writing the last part XD
Sometimes I would just love to write more about what happened before the beginning of the story, but I can't if Sans isn't skulking over it… Which he tries not to. That's nice kid, but maybe you should address those issues at some point. You need a shrimp. Or a really patient and calm friend. NOT Alphys. Alphys would be anything but calm and you would both end up thinking about the meaning of life or something equally depressing at 4 am. Do not think at 4 am. I know from experience you should not think, and even less think about the meaning of anything, at 4 am. JUST DO NOT.
On another hand… Sans already has the sh*ttiest life ever so why not just go for it? I can't make it worse now, can I? Oh yes I can. Which means I should most definitely not write those chapters at 1 am (yes, it is 1 am. Yes, on Monday. Yes, I have school. But I start at 2 pm, so I'll live) if I don't want to end up crying with the characters… Sobbing in front of one's computer upon one's own writing piece is… Erm… Ridiculously ridiculous? Especially when the writing piece is far from being exceptionally good. It's not worth the pain.