Happy St Paddy's Day!

Awesome! Thanks guys ^.^ So sounds like fluff is cool, sorry I got in my head about it! From here on out, I really do want James and Lily to have a wonderful, loving, healthy relationship that gears them up to getting married/having a baby like… next year? Lol. Also, I really love the idea of them getting the absolute most time happy together possible, hence agreeing to date on the VERY FIRST DAY of 7th year. (Take THAT canon ;))

Also: Cheers to Love fics for reminding me what Tiger's initials were :D I had legitimately forgotten since I planned this so long ago (months! Back in dreadful 2020!) and was really embarrassed about it, ahaha.

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter. Art work by the awesome Meg (tumblr: anxiouspineapples)

For Keeps

The Next Morning, 7th Year

"Good morning," a deep, melodic voice said, far too early in the morning.

Lily cracked her lids open a smidge, morning sun streaming in through the uncovered windows. Her vision was completely blown out, needing a few blinks to bring James' devilishly handsome face into focus.

"Mmhhhhgh," she moaned sullenly.

"Hm. Just as much of a morning person as I remember, I see." James sounded far too happy. "Such a contrast to last night."

"Ughhhhh," Lily groaned louder, memories of the night before washing over her. "Fuckkkkk." Her head was pounding just a little bit. "Can't believe I practically begged you to shag me."

"Aw, you remember!" James said relieved.

"Mhhgh!" Lily screamed (muffled) into her pillow.

"Relax Lils. I'm used to it, remember? What was it you said to me right next to the Fat Lady? 'I want you to fuck me until I can't walk straight'?"

"How do you remember my exact wording?"

"Because it was the most beautiful thing you'd ever said to me up to that point, Lily. It's when I knew I actually had a shot with you." He tilted his head to the side, adorably contemplative. "Well. At least physically."

"Is this you trying to make me feel better?" Lily asked lifting her head slightly off the pillow, before admitting defeat and plopping it right back down. "Of course you're proud you made me crack that night…" she grumbled.

James gave her a wink. "Did you brew any more Hangover Potion?"

"Yes!" Lily cried out, brightening instantly. "You're a genius!"

James snorted before summoning a vial from Lily's trunk and handing it to her. She downed it with a loud smacking of her lips before giving him a solid kiss. "Thank you."

His eyes twinkled. "Good morning, Lily."

"Yes, you already said that."

"Well, it just got significantly better and I wanted to acknowledge that fact."

Lily smirked, feeling the potion's effects spreading through her veins, invigorating her. "Good morning, James." They were still snuggled up under her sheets, sharing the same pillow.

His eyes moved from her eyes to the scar on her lip. "Do you remember all the things you said to me last night?" he questioned softly. All the air in the room became charged somehow, a feeling you could sense in your bones right before a storm.

Lily took a little breath. "Yes."

"Do you regret any of it?" His voice was tender, vulnerable.

"No. I meant it."

His eyes snapped back to hers as his lips formed a smile that could set fire to snow. "You know what this means, right?"

Lily scrunched her nose. "What?"

"I'm not going to be holding back from you anymore. I'm gonna go all in."

Lily tittered. "This was you holding back?!"

"Was this me holding back?" James sputtered incredulously. "Was this me holding back?!" He shimmied himself down the bed so that they were eye level. "Oh yeah, Evans. You just wait. You're practically gonna be living on the floor with how much I'm gonna sweep you off your dainty little feet."

"They're actually quite large—"

"Shut it."

Lily cocked an eyebrow as she teased, "Is it too late to back out now?"

"Yup." James' hand came to rest on her waist. "I suspect so."

"Drats."

"So…" James' eyes drifted to her shoulder as she felt his thumb fiddling against her gown — he was nervous.

Lily decided to help him along a bit. "James, is there something you wanted to ask me?"

"Yes, let me work up to it," he said a little defensively as his hand gave her a squeeze.

She bit her bottom lip to try to keep her smirk from spreading.

"So last night… you said you're down to go out with me," he began tentatively.

"I did."

He forced a dry swallow. "Um, does that mean," hazel found emerald and held it there, "I could maybe start calling you my girlfriend?"

It was too fetching to see just how invested he was in the question. She leaned forward, cheeks aching, and captured his mouth in a slow kiss, letting her lips tell him just how very much her answer was 'yes, for Merlin's sake, yes, I thought you'd never fucking ask.' When she pulled back, his eyes remained closed, savoring the moment for a few seconds longer. "I'll allow it."

"Groovy."

Lily's brows collapsed. "Groovy?! I tell you we're boyfriend/girlfriend official and you say groovy?"

"What?" James looked fully embarrassed now. "Sommers said it was the hip new word in Muggle Studies!"

Lily couldn't help but throw her head back as her body shook with laughter.

"Not fair, Evans!" James said as he brought his fingers viciously to her armpits, tickling her for all she was worth.

"No! James!" Lily gasped between fits.

"Say you're sorry for laughing at me!" James demanded, doubling down.

"Nevah!" Lily squealed, rolling onto her back, but James only moved with her, hovering over her spasming body.

They both froze as their current positioning dawned on them, Lily's panting chest bumping up against his with every breath. James looked like he didn't know where to look.

He broke first. "Sorry—"

Lily grasped the back of his head, bringing it crashing down so she could kiss him again. Their tongues collided as he settled between her legs, his delicious weight pining her to the mattress. She was losing herself in the moment, the ache inside of her driving her forward, egging her on past any reasonable thought. One of James' hands settled behind her ear, fingers nestled in her hair as he lightly veered her head where he wanted it so he could deepen the kiss, making Lily moan into his mouth. The noise seemed to trigger him, coaxing a clothed thrust from his pelvis.

"Fuck," he ground out.

She could feel just how ready he was for her against her inner thigh. "Do you…?" she began nervously, eyes flicking between his. She'd wanted to begin again with him for what felt like ages, but now that the moment was finally here, she found herself a little jittery and lightheaded.

"Yes. Heavens yes," he was out of breath too, "but, I don't want to rush it."

"Okay." Lily felt equal parts disappointed and relieved. Was she a little frightened by the prospect of sex again? No, she determined. Just completely, nearly nauseatingly, nervous.

He watched her expression meticulously. "Whatcha doing Saturday?"

Lily blinked rapidly in surprise as she stared up at him. "Um, nothing yet?"

"Why don't I teach you to swim? It'll get too cold soon, we might as well start ASAP. And afterwards I can cook you dinner."

"Shouldn't I cook you dinner if you're the one giving me lessons?"

"You're in charge of dessert."

She gave him a soft kiss. "Sounds perfect."

James leaned down and trailed kisses down her cheek, over her chin, and along her throat. If this was his way to bring her down from her desire for him, he was doing a bang-awful job of it. "Fair warning, Lils." His teeth grazed her sensitive skin, raising an army of goosebumps. "I'm a very affectionate boyfriend."

Her exhale sounded unnaturally loud in the quiet space. Having your own room rocks. "Is that so?" she breathed.

His lips travelled further still to her collarbone. The way they slowly, wetly dragged felt sensual enough to spike her hormones into overdrive. He punctuated the move with a little bite. "Uh huh. Just ask Sirius." Lily snorted before she could stop herself, covering her mouth right after. James looked up at her, smile bright. "Well, who else are you gonna ask? You're my first girlfriend, you know."

Holy shit. His words sunk in before a territorial thought took over. And I intend to be your last. Lily guessed James hadn't ever made it official with the girls who she couldn't even bother remembering the names of right now (okay fine, Brianna and Emmeline) — his past barely mattered when he was looking at her so.

"Well, you're my first boyfriend too."

"I know."

"Prat."

An adorably irate mewl from next to the bed burst their little idyllic bubble.

"Uh oh. That's her hungry meow," James said before rolling off of her. Lily watched enthralled as he got some kitten food on a plate for Tiger. He looked up when he felt her adoring gaze on him. "What?"

"Nothing," she replied innocently, realizing her thumbnail had somehow found its way to between her teeth. This would very easily become a near-permanent thing if she continued to lose her mind every time he did anything halfway decent. Okay, but this is more than a little bit decent… Why were grown men with baby animals so damn attractive?

He winked at her. "Get ready. I wanna have breakfast with you."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Don't tell me what to do, Potter."

He rolled his eyes as he walked over to the bathroom door. "Yes, girlfriend." Lily beamed.

They got ready in amicable silence, feeling like they were playing house in their shared bathroom. James did what he did best by fully stripping down before stepping in for a cold shower. She tried to concentrate on putting on her eyeliner, but it was oh-so-hard considering just how opaque the shower door was. Bastard still plays dirty. It probably should have been harder to reconcile the man who'd just so tenderly cared for her kitten with the one who wanted her to drool all over his hard, cut body, but they were both so undeniably James.

He popped his head out from behind the shower door. "Could you hand me a towel, love?"

Lily sighed, turning to the towel rack. That's when she noticed the red fluffy towels were each monogrammed with gold lettering. 'JFP,' 'LJE,' and snuggled between them was a mini towel labelled 'TERP.' My goddamn lovable nerd. Lily was going to need an intervention soon — are you supposed to be this in love on the first day of going official? She guessed this whole falling for James Potter thing had been years in the making. Trying to stop herself for so long meant that when she finally let go, it wasn't like falling as much as being shot straight down through a wall with a bazooka.

"Nice one." She slipped him his towel. Had he always known a stitching spell, or had he just looked it up? When did he even pull that off?

He walked out, fully naked, water running down his body just like she liked, as he dried his hair off first. Her eyes went right to the place that was probably considered the least 'ladylike' and stayed there until he wrapped the towel around his hips. Has he gotten bigger? Is this what a stroke feels like?

Lily remained frozen as he leaned forward to her ear. "Nice to know I can still push all your buttons," he whispered coarsely. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and sauntered off to his room, leaving Lily gaping after him. She'd be lying if she said she didn't watch the way his back muscles flexed on his way out. It's not even fair. I get to shag that, and it's still not even right how fit he is. She'd be ashamed of just how badly she objectified him… if she didn't know how much he loved that she did.

"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged up," Sirius declared at breakfast, making all their friends look to them. They were some of the only students not already staring considering how the couple had just entered the Great Hall. It wasn't unusual to see James walking around the castle with his arm around Lily's shoulders — that behavior was practically the norm nowadays — what was unusual however was that Lily's hand was up to interlock fingers with his. It was her own little touch of endearment that she'd added just for him, trying to meet him at his level. Public displays of affection didn't come to Lily as easily as they clearly came to James, but she was definitely willing to work on it. For him. She wanted him to know she wasn't holding back anymore either.

Then again, it could also have been James' kiss to her temple as they entered through the doors that had started the frenzy of chatter. Lily found she didn't particularly mind being the subject of all the brouhaha when it was for something that was making her so dumbly happy for once.

James leaned into her ear, his new favorite method of communication, causing an unexpected shiver. "Is that really a Muggle phrase? Professor Sommers said so, but it's making me think Muggles are awfully obsessed with animals."

Lily sniggered. "Close enough." Is James bringing up Muggle things so much to show that he is making an effort to know my background? Was it his way of saying he wanted to know everything about her, including how she'd been raised?

"Um, hello, acknowledge me, ya gits," Sirius whined.

"That's no way to talk to my girlfriend," James said gruffly.

Well, that's one way to announce it. There was a moment of shock until Mary — whom she was so elated to see sitting with the group — squealed and yanked her down, and Peter smiled and smacked Sirius' arm.

"Are you kidding me?" Sirius asked peeved.

"What?" James said, sitting next to him as he loaded sausages onto his plate.

"Pay up, Pads," Peter said gleefully, holding out his palm.

"Ugh," Sirius complained, reaching in his pocket to fish out five Galleons. "I knew you two would get together, but I didn't think it would be within the first bloody 24 hours."

"Thank you," Peter simpered, pocketing the coins. "Moony was right."

"What? You had insider information?!" Sirius shouted affronted.

"Relax," Remus cut in, "I only told him I'm surprised they weren't already together by the end of the train ride based on how the prefect meeting went."

"Yeah, that's what one calls insider information—"

Mary tore Lily away from watching the conversation play out by dragging her into their own little hushed chat. "Sit with me in History, or Herbology, or whatever boring class we end up having today and tell me everything, yeah?"

"Absofuckinglutely."

"Brill!" Mary cheered.

Marlene leaned over from behind Mary. "Congrats Lily! Maybe we could go on a double-date some time?"

That was never, ever, going to happen, but how did she say that without completely extinguishing the hopeful gleam in her friend's eye? She was clearly trying to make an effort to continue their friendship despite their past disagreements and Lily couldn't ignore that. "I have a better idea. We should have a girls' night coming up." "I'm down! Except for the weekends for the foreseeable future." Mary had grumbled the last part.

"Okay," Marlene replied half-heartedly. Fuck.

Luckily soon, their class schedules were being handed out and conversation moved on to the absolutely brutal double History of Magic class, scheduled on Fridays no less.

"Anyone heard anything about the new DADA professor, Carter?" Remus asked the table at large.

"Yes, actually. Alice knows her," Lily answered. "Apparently she was the first woman to get into the Auror program. She'd just retired but somehow Dumbledore convinced her to come out of it to teach. She's a real badass, takes no bullshit."

"Uh oh," Sirius joked, "that'll put a real kink in my style."

"Do you think she'll actually let us duel?" Mary asked excitedly.

"Yeah, probably, if she was an Auror." Lily noticed James' eyes had lit up too. "Mary, you missed the best DADA professor we ever had; Alice was amazing. Hopefully Carter has a similar teaching style. Aurors know what's up." He seemed proud of his future profession in an endearing way that had Lily grinning.

"Oh man." Sirius' declaration and open-mouthed stare had everyone swivel to see what was happening.

"What?" Lily asked confused.

"Damn," Peter said, now also sounding dazed and confused.

"What are you guys looking at?" Lily craned her neck.

"Probably Dana Rodriguez's new, um…" Remus tried explaining before tapering off.

"Tits." Sirius finished bluntly.

"Oh." Lily's eyes finally found the rather bouncy 5th year over at the Ravenclaw table surrounded by a growing number of admirers.

"Were they always so big?" Peter was practically drooling.

"Don't think so, but they sure are now," Mary answered with a shrug before turning back to her porridge.

"Women are amazing," Peter sighed.

Lily noticed James was staying uncharacteristically silent, just chewing his food, smart man. Lily had seen Dana's name on her list for new prefects, but couldn't remember seeing her at the meeting. Well, you were a little distracted.

"Boys," Marlene mumbled under her breath as she continued to browse her new schedule.

"You." Sirius pointing at her cut Lily short from her James-staring. "I need to have a chat with my fav ginger's—"

"It's not ginger, it's red."

Sirius smiled, far too amused. "I was gonna say my fav ginger's mom. Don't go letting Prongs' cockiness rub off on you."

Lily rolled her eyes and let him pull her to her feet. "What do you wanna talk about?"

"Come on, come on," Sirius motioned for her to follow him out to the Entrance Hall. A glance to James told her he had no idea what Sirius was up to either. Lily followed Sirius and found him leaning against the wall, the epitome of cool and unbothered. "So…" he began slowly. "What are your intentions with my brother?"

Lily laughed until she noticed he was actually waiting for an answer. "Wait, are you serious?"

"As a Hippogriff in spring." Muggles obsessed with animals, my arse.

Lily opened and closed her mouth, not knowing what to say. "Well, he asked me to be his girlfriend."

"That I gathered."

"And I said yes…"

"Okay."

"So now I date him?" Lily finished unsurely. Isn't this how this works? It wasn't like she had a plethora of experience in the department, but this part seemed fairly straightforward.

Sirius grabbed both her shoulders, seemingly satisfied with her answer. "Okay. Just don't go breaking his heart, all right? He's crazy about you. He always has been. You could literally destroy him without even trying."

"I won't." That much she knew for absolute certain. The thought of her destroying him, when in the past she'd always been convinced that he was secretly out to ruin her, was almost comical.

Sirius gave her a nod and was about to walk off. "Wait, hold up. Now it's your turn." Sirius' spine stiffened and he turned back to her slowly, silky hair falling gracefully over his heavy brows. "What's the deal with you and Mary?"

His eyes went left, right, and back to center. "Shouldn't you be asking her that question?"

Lily crossed her arms over her chest as she jutted out her hip. "Yeah, sure, but why aren't you talking to her? You didn't say a peep on the platform yesterday and you were all indirect on the train and at the party."

Sirius gave her a long stare before sighing and rubbing his eyelids. "You're too bloody observant nowadays," he mumbled. "I'm gonna let you in on a big secret, Evans. I'm kinda an arse sometimes—"

"Shocker."

"—oh shush, anyway, I'm trying to focus on not being one."

Lily waited for more of an explanation that didn't come. She leaned in. "Are you telling me the only way you know how to do that is by not talking at all?"

"Well, I never said it was a flawless system!" Seeing him actually look disconcerted for once was wholly endearing.

"Look, Sirius: I know you now." She mirrored his earlier position with her palms on his shoulders. For a second, he looked like he was going to say something about it, but let it go instead. "You have a good heart, even if you don't want to admit it." She gave a shrug. "Just let her see the real you," he opened his mouth to interject, so she carried on faster, "but on your best behavior. You don't act the same way around teachers as you do with the Marauders, right? Just… tailor yourself to your audience a little. Be you… but nicer."

He grinned. "Thanks, Lily. And maybe slip in a good word for me, yeah?" She cocked a brow. "Perhaps Prongs no longer going stag won't be the absolute worst."

She pushed him away. "Glad to hear it."

"You know, being Prongs' girl means you're sworn to secrecy about Marauders secrets right? So like… you can't tell Mary about this conversation."

"That's not even remotely how this works."

Sirius sighed. "Was worth a shot."

"Sirius, I don't even think she knows you're interested in her at the moment."

He pondered this. "Really? Like, not even a little bit?"

"No," Lily responded, "not even at all. I know she's an absolute smoke show, but she doesn't see herself that way, which is insane—"

"Really? I'm sorry, but does she have eyes?"

"I know, right?"

"That makes no sense." Sirius gave her a smile. "But makes sense why you guys are friends. Two weirdos who don't realize they're hot, while Prongs and I are two weirdos who cash in on how hot we are every damn day."

"Psh, who said I didn't know I was hot?" Lily challenged.

"What?" A crease formed between Sirius' brows. "You don't act like it."

"Just because I don't flaunt it, Sirius, doesn't mean I don't know I'm attractive."

"Well damn. Prongs really is rubbing off on you."

"It's not a bad thing."

"I never said it was." Sirius smiled at her and perhaps for the first time, Lily felt like they were fully on the same team. He'd hated her before, begrudgingly tried to accept her and played nice, but now it felt like they might actually be friends — friends to the point where you didn't have to worry about accidentally stepping on one another's toes with one wrong joke or misguided statement.

"Oh! Another thing," Lily said as it dawned on her, "I can't believe I have to say this, but don't ogle another woman's breasts in front of the girl you like."

"Oh, come on, like a little jealousy never helps get things going."

"No, Sirius! That's not how healthy dating works!"

Sirius gave her a look. "Are you saying you and James aren't healthy?"

"We are now! Also, James never tried making me jealous, he never even looked at anyone else…" James had never flaunted his fling with Brianna to Lily, Brianna had. Even right before their first kiss during Truth or Dare, James had been staring at Lily instead. She'd never even known about his tryst with Emmeline until she'd asked him for his history. He truly had always been hers. Suddenly, Lily wanted nothing more than to be back under the covers with James. My boyfriend.

Sirius smirked at the way Lily was looking at the floor, lost in thought. "That wanker makes the rest of us look bad."

"Okay, class. Sit down," Carter demanded as she strode in from her back office. "As Dumbledore already introduced me yesterday, I won't waste anyone's time doing it again." Her grey-blonde hair was cropped short and her eyes were dark blue. "Professor Fortescue has informed me of each of your strengths. As such, every Friday I will match two of you off for a duel. I will award you points out of 100. At the end of term, the two students with the most points will face off. The ultimate winner will be exempt from the final paper," her face let up for a brief smile, "but obviously, not from N.E.W.T.s." She clasped her hands behind her back, posture impeccable. "If I see you performing exemplary work in class, you may be awarded 'bonus points' to your duel score. Any questions?"

James and Lily, sitting beside each other, shared an impressed look. James leaned forward and tapped Lily's textbook, making the letters morph into a phrase. 'I think Minnie has competition for resident Badass.'

Lily smiled as she picked up her quill, pulling over her parchment. 'A) You have a new crush, Potter? B) Please teach me that spell so I don't have to handwrite everything out like a plebeian.'

'A) Nah, Evans. Just a purely academic boner. B) You just want to learn all my secrets, don't you?'

Lily couldn't believe the magic that had started out as being used to sexually torture her in class while she fought off an orgasm was now being used to receive cute live commentary from her boyfriend. Nope, still not old yet.

She stuck out her tongue as she turned back to the board, trying to listen as Carter dove right into her first lesson plan on casting effective wards. She had felt a wash of relief at the mention of Alice's name. Besides COMK, Defense against the Dark Arts was one of the most hands-on classes taught at Hogwarts. In most of her subjects that she shared with Slytherins, it was easy to ignore their presence, but when they were dragged up to the front of the room for a demonstration? Not so much. Alice had been great, because not only had she known what Avery had done to Lily, but she also knew that he'd tortured her soon-to-be husband too. While Alice couldn't physically fight Avery like she wanted to (although Lily was quite sure that time would come soon enough), she could still make his life a living hell. Lily had barely had to see the rapist because at the beginning of most classes, as soon as he'd said a single word out of turn or had his tie even slightly crooked, Alice had sent him to Filch for detention. It had become a running bet between Sirius and Peter on the over/under on one minute.

She hadn't known until she felt the relief, but she must have been a little scared this new teacher wouldn't know about Lily's history with Avery and accidentally pair them up to fight. Hearing Alice's name out of her mouth assured Lily that something like that would never happen, because Alice would never let it happen. Although, I wouldn't put it past Alice to have her pair me with James just so she could hear me talk about it at the next Order meeting…

Whatever happened now, Lily was confident and ready. She'd dueled with Alice for months now, and she was actually quite good at it. She also knew James horsed around enough with the other Marauders to be quite the skilled duelist himself, and I sure as hell wouldn't mind seeing that.

"Mary, I need to talk to you."

"Okay," Mary whispered in the back of their History of Magic class as Binns droned on. It was truly incredible how boring one man could be on the first day of class. "Isn't that what we're doing right now?"

"Okay, smartass, are you into anyone right now?"

"Wait, really? You wanna talk about me instead of how you made James Potter settle down?"

"Easy: my vagina." Mary choked, putting her fist to her mouth to stifle the noise. "Now you: any crushes?"

"You're lying, that guy would love you no matter what equipment you had, but sure, we can talk about my crushes." Lily grinned. "Hufflepuff Robby's been looking pretty cute these days."

"True, but that might ruffle some feathers in the dorm?"

"Why?" Mary asked nonplussed.

"Dor and him had a thing last year, and it was going well, but I think she admitted she had a crush on his sister first, and it weirded him out."

"Oh," Mary replied. "Complicated."

"Yup," Lily popped the p. "Think Dor isn't quite over it all yet."

"Okay, warning received."

Lily pretended to write down a note, but it was too boring, so she practiced cursive instead. "So what are you looking for?"

"Lily," Mary turned to her fully, "what do you know?"

"What?"

"You're being weird, spit it out."

Lily faltered for a second, completely caught by someone she couldn't lie to, before blurting, "Sirius likes you."

Mary regarded her like she'd just spoken an alien language. "Huh?"

"Sirius Black? You know, tall, dark, moody, but oh-so-pretty? He has a secret thing for you. Apparently has for ages." Lily fondly remembered James asking if Mary liked anyone on Sirius' behalf all the way back at the beginning of 5th year… simpler times.

Mary stared at the desk. "But he's… so pretty."

They were of the same mindset. "Yeah, but so are you. Except, you're pretty, kind, spunky, and smart, so totally out of his league, but," Lily suddenly remembered she should probably be encouraging this, "he does like you. I've never seen him be flustered for anything else. He seemed shocked you didn't already have an inkling."

Mary looked at her. "Really?"

"Really."

"Well shit. I mean, he's hot."

Lily giggled. "Yeah, definitely hot."

"Is it weird that I'm down to try it out?" Mary asked hesitantly.

"No!" Lily replied. "I think as long as you're honest and up front, anything goes really. I can't really speak for him, but he'd probably be open to something fun and light. Just talk to him?"

"Right? Like we're 17. I don't want to be tied down right now!" Mary declared, probably a little too loudly for the environment.

Lily agreed with the conviction, but not the sentiment. She did want to be tied down, and not just in the kinky way that made her core quiver just thinking about. She wanted the commitment, the reassurance, she wanted to know that James was hers and only hers, and she wanted to kiss him and hold him and tell him she loved him every day, and, fuck, you still haven't told him you love him except when you thought he was unconscious.

Coward.

"Lil, you okay?" Mary asked concerned.

"Yeah. Just planning my life out."

"You know, just Lily-things," Mary announced, spreading her hands out in front of her.

"Hey," Lily said, trying to bring her friend back down. "Honestly, just go ask Sirius for what you want, and I guarantee you, he'll pretty much be down. He's very much go-with-the-flow. And if you don't end up liking him, he wouldn't take it personally if you tell him it isn't working out."

"Wait, really? That's actually such a relief."

"I know, right?" Lily scoffed, mad that such a thing even had to be clarified. "He's a good guy." But not a 'nice guy.' Lily's mind couldn't help itself from wandering back to Adam, who had very much trademarked himself as a nice guy, and look how that had turned out.

Mary raised an imaginary champagne glass. "To good guys turned assholes turned good guys again."

"Next time, just say, 'To James,'" Lily sighed.

Mary winked. "To James!"

Fuck, fuck, fuck, Lily thought as she approached her suite at the end of the day, ready to chill with James. She'd wanted nothing more ever since lunch, when he'd suggested they hang out after classes and do stuff. He hadn't even tried to use a euphemism like 'study' or 'plan patrols,' just 'do stuff.' His smug smile had definitely clued her in on the fact that he meant 'perfect our couch snogging routine,' and honestly? She was so game.

Unfortunately, McGonagall had found her exiting her last class of the day and informed her of an emergency Order meeting.

Not only was the timing shitty, but Lily had no idea how to explain her absence to James. Keeping silent about Rosier was one thing, but to lie about where you disappear to (We live together! He'll notice! He notices everything!) every week? It felt wrong, and also like a huge oversight on Dumbledore's part.

She pushed open the portrait door, her heart skipping a beat when she saw James' face light up with her presence. She shooed away the little voice in her head that tried to tell her that she didn't deserve him. Of course she did: everyone deserved their very own James Potter. Someone who loved you to the moon and back with every iota of their being — your faults, your quirks, your mind, and if you were extra lucky, every damn centimeter of your body.

"Hey gorgeous," he said, getting up from the couch to meet her. "Good day?" He reached for her bag on her shoulder, depositing it onto the floor.

"Yeah." She had to tell him something, she had something very important to do, but it was hard to remember what the hell that was when he was looking at her like that.

His hands came up to cup her jaw as he leaned in to kiss her, all the day's suppressed longing flowing out from him and into her. She could always count on James' lips to leave her feeling weak in the knees.

"Wanna watch a movie?"

Oh right. The meeting, that's what I'm forgetting. "I'd love to but—" his words sunk in "—wait, what did you say?"

He gave her a dashing smile. "Do you want to watch a movie? Sirius and I got really into going to see them this summer. It convinced us to learn how to hack our portable porn players—"

"Your what?"

James continued unfazed, "Story for another time, Lils." He kissed her forehead. "Anyway, we bought these things called VHS, right? But then we had to learn how to capture their hidden images and transfer them onto the players. Was a real bitch to figure out, and we could never get it to play in 3D, only flat, and then the sound took another few days to match up, but it's still quite enjoyable to watch now." He ruffled the back of his hair like he was embarrassed by his shortcomings. His imaginary shortcomings.

He truly was something else. Lily would never get over his innate grasp and insane command over magic. Of course wizards would enjoy movies; why the hell were he and his friends the first to even try to get their hands on some? And how in the hell was he smart enough to figure out how to get them to play on a magical device?

"You're so hot," Lily whispered.

James smirked. "Don't you forget it, girlfriend."

Oh fuck, and we're kissing again. Lily could do this for hours (Days? Months? Years?!) but she really had to fucking go. She pushed back at his chest slightly. "James—"

"Am I going too fast?" He blinked the lust out of his eyes rapidly, replacing it with breathless concern. "I only wanted to snog tonight, but if it's too much—"

"No, it's not too much." Her brain caught up to his words once more. She blamed the delay on her still not being properly inoculated to his sheer sexiness. She was sure that that would come eventually… I hope, for my sake. "Wait, what do you mean only snog?" Damn it. There he went distracting her from her very adult task of going to a meeting probably set up to take down the most evil wizard of all time…

"You know, when two people who are into each other mash their faces together and lightly moan. Lick each other's tongues. So on and so forth."

"No one has ever made kissing sound so revolting before, but I was questioning the 'only' part."

"Oh." He continued mussing his hair. "Well, it's what I told you before, innit? We're gonna do this proper."

Lily just stared at him. "What does that mean though?"

"That means no sex until after our date."

"James, that's absurd—!"

"No! That's hardly absurd, I'm sure most people would call that normal—"

"We're not normal! We've already had sex! A lot of it! A metric shit-ton! That's an official accountant unit of measure!"

"What?" James shook his head, decidedly moving on. "Okay, sure, we've fucked, but things have changed."

Lily's eyes narrowed slightly. "What do you mean?" After last night and this morning, she'd been under the impression that they were on the same page of resuming their (beautiful, wonderful) physical activities. Had she been reading the vibe wrong? For James, who had always wanted, no craved, her body (something that she'd never admit, but she positively adored about him), to possibly reject it now? She'd be crushed.

He must have seen the hurt flit across her eyes, because he took a big breath, trying to choose his next words very wisely. "I guess I'm just— I don't know, I guess I'm scared." She'd almost missed the last word with how softly he'd uttered it.

Lily's brows furrowed. "Scared?"

"Yeah! I'm terrified." James' tongue played with his teeth as he forced himself to look away from her. "What they did to you— looking like me," he stammered, "like, I don't want to trigger you, or cause a panic attack, or—"

"James—"

"—like if you never want to have sex again, I get it—"

"James—"

"—I mean, obviously, I'd miss it, because it's bloody brilliant, we're bloody brilliant, but I'm okay without it, we could do other stuff—" he rambled.

"Babe—"

"—because at the end of the day, it's just sex, you know? But you? Lily, you're everything, and I don't want to hurt you, I've never wanted to hurt you, so I'll just, I don't know, masturbate like I've been doing anyway, it's no big deal, and then we can just hang, and I'd be happy, I swear, I would be fine with it, and—"

Lily gave up on trying to halt his tirade and decided to just pull him down to kiss him instead, feeling his body relax against hers as his hands instinctually found her waist. She pulled back so she could look deep into his eyes. "I want to have sex with you, James, so badly," she grinned as the corner of his mouth twitched, his pride fighting with his need to absorb every serious word she was saying, "and I can't pretend like I know exactly how I'm going to react to trying again, I don't. But," she bit her lip, feeling like she was truly revealing her soul, "I do know how I feel about you. They didn't steal that from me. They hurt me, but they didn't break me." Her face turned something fierce as she spoke her truth. "And they didn't take away my personality, or who I am, or what I want, and they sure as hell didn't take away my sexual preferences and appetite. So please," she threaded her hands through the back of his hair, "don't treat me any differently. I'm still me. I'm still Lily."

"Sorry." He played with the end of one of her locks, wrapping it around his fingers. "I didn't mean— I just want to make sure you to feel safe with me. That's all."

Lily pushed herself even closer to him. "I do. I always have."

"And you always will. I promise." She swore she could see the universe in his eyes.

"Where have you been my whole life, James Potter?" she breathed.

"Right here." He smirked. "Asking you out a whole bunch."

She started laughing, unable to help herself. "I love you." The words had come out of her mouth without her permission, heck, without her knowledge, and now they were just out there, floating around in the air, settling down and moving in like they owned the place. Shit, I really just blurted it out. She knew it shouldn't have been as big of a deal as she was making it out to be, it wasn't like it was news exactly, but it still felt it. Big.

Time seemed to drag by as she stood there with her lips parted, marinating in her vulnerability. He's told you it too, refuckinglax, she told her body to no avail. It felt different now, loaded. They were no longer children, but two adults who knew each other completely.

His fingers traced her cheek, light as a feather, and she leaned into his touch. She knew in her heart that he was committing this moment into his memory for all time. "I know."

She snorted. "Why you little—"

She could feel his killer grin as he brought his lips crashing back into hers before they turned demanding and insistent. He was shifting their bodies around so that she was walking backwards to the couch, the back of her knees hitting it just as his tongue coaxed her moth open, wanting access. "I love you too, Lils." His hands had found their way under her shirt and were raking up her back, holding her tightly to his torso. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember." He was kissing her again, making her moan and sigh. "I'm never going to let you forget it either. You'll never have to doubt how I feel about you ever again."

Just as she'd decided it was the perfect time to take off her cumbersome top, the common room clock chimed. "Fuck! What time is it?" Lily asked, grabbing James' wristwatch in a blind panic. "Fuck! I'm twenty minutes late!"

James looked adorably lost. "To what?"

Lily disentangled herself from James and headed for the door. "I can't tell you— well, I want to tell you. Hell, I'll make Dumbledore tell you himself because this is so stupid, you should know. I don't know why you don't already—"

"Lily, breathe," James interrupted calmly. "Dumbledore should tell me what?"

Lily turned back to him. "Do you trust me?"

"Course." It was crazy how easily the notion rolled off his tongue now — as though he'd always trusted her. As though there had never been a time when he was afraid she'd break his heart. As if her devotion to him now had banished all those demons to hell where they belonged.

She pulled him down by the tie to plant a peck on his lips. "Okay, well, I'll hopefully get permission tonight. I'll be back."

Without another word, she sprinted out of their suite and to Dumbledore's office, trying (and failing) to catch her breath before opening the final door.

Lily didn't wish the experience of feeling twenty pairs of critical eyes (and Frank's amused look) focusing on you at once. She knew she'd fucked up, and she knew she was late, but she'd rather assumed they'd just have started without her. "Sorry," she mumbled, taking her seat next to Frank.

Dumbledore looked unperturbed as always, but Lily felt she might wither away and die from the disappointment in McGonagall's gaze. Right beside her, she noticed Professor Carter. Great impression to make on her during her first meeting with the Order, Evans, she scolded herself.

"Now that everyone is here, we can begin," Dumbledore said plainly. Oh, just stab me now.

Frank leaned over to whisper jollily, "Enjoying that private suite already, are we?"

Lily supposed that if her timing wasn't suspicious enough as it were, her messy hair and swollen lips probably did the trick. "Yes."

Alice shushed them, but the two besties still shared a secret smile. "Thatta girl."

"You're probably all wondering why I called you here today," Dumbledore started grandly. "I have it on very good authority that Voldemort is once more gearing up to act on the prophecy."

Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no. Not this shit again. When Frank and Lily had returned and joined the Order, Dumbledore had decided that since Voldemort knew about a slightly wrong version of the prophecy already, there was no further harm in their side hearing it. If anything, having more people believe the incorrect version would strengthen the lie that Professor Harris had started. However, as the weeks and months had passed, Lily had been lulled into a false sense of security, thinking maybe things wouldn't get as bad again, or at least, not anytime soon. Maybe, just maybe, Voldemort would get distracted, I don't know, get some sort of equally sadistic girlfriend, or boyfriend, or snake-lover, anything! and leave her alone for a bit, or at least for a year until she was out of Hogwarts. This is just wholly inconsiderate of my final year experience. Her mind was finding comfort in humor, trying to downplay the dread seeping into her bones.

To her left, Frank and Alice had gotten scarily still.

"It is our belief that Voldemort and his followers will try to regain possession of Frank Longbottom and Lily Evans, and soon."

Voldemort still wants to 'keep' me. Fuck my life.

Next Chapter: Slower

(Inspired by a song I can't stop listening to writing next chap…! ALSO YES SEX)