Confessions of the Raven
I am guilty, my sons. I am guilty of atrocities committed in the name of revenge. I turned children into mutants so I would be able to seek vengeance on those that betrayed me. I pushed away allies in the name of a Truth that was a lie. I transformed into a monster of shadows and darkness in order to take my revenge upon those that had betrayed your forebears. How I returned to the shape I am now... I do not know. But I am guilty of so many crimes. And yet, I have come to realize another truth: I could have been worse. I could have been Angron.
Do not try to placate me, my sons. I could have been like the Red Angel of Nuceria if circumstances had been different. I could have become a raging beast of murder and destruction had I lost those that had raised and loved me as one of their own on Deliverance. I could have become Angron had I remained the monster that the Warp made me.
I never knew Angron well as a brother. Hardly any of us did. The only ones he ever opened up to were Lorgar and Horus and look how that turned out. I met him once during the Crusade where our two Legions were made to work together. He criticized my tactics and called me a coward. I called him a butcher and a child. We never worked together again after that. We were too different in our tactics to truly see eye to eye. But it was only years later when I learned the truth of why he was the way he was and what our father had made of him.
It turned out that Angron did have people he cared for in the past. He had been made a gladiator on Nuceria, the world he'd ended up on. He'd made brothers and sisters-in-arms in the fighting pits and had lead them as a liberator against the tyrants of Nuceria. Then my father arrived.
He told Angron that the Crusade needed him, but Angron refused to leave his chosen family. Instead of helping him like he could have, The Emperor abducted him and left his warriors to die. Angron became... a true monster after that. A monster of my father's own design and I think... I think he meant for it to be like that.
Think about it, my sons. He could have helped Angron. He could have done for him what he did for me when he arrived here and helped defeat our oppressors. Instead, he ensured that Angron would become the monster he needed to ravage worlds that resisted compliance. I have learned many truths about my father, my sons, and the truth is that he always had a plan for something. Even if it was one that could easily turn against him. Perhaps he planned for Angron to turn and had a contingency for it. I doubt he could have foreseen what Angron would become.
When I was traveling through the Warp, I met the Daemon that Angron had become. We fought, but in the end, I was defeated. Perhaps that is what caused me to embrace mutation and to become the monster of shadows. But I will always remember what Angron said to me before he left me: Not worth the effort. Despite the Daemon he'd become, Angron chose not to kill me. Maybe he realized that I am what he could have been had his family not been killed needlessly. Maybe he did not think my skull worthy of taking for his patron God. Maybe he'd worn out his lust for blood. Who knows?
Always remember that, my sons. We could have all become something different had fate not intervened. Always remember.
I leave the council table and move to my quarters. Should have told them how I returned to my mortal form? Truth be told... I don't know myself. All I remember before waking up in Vulkan's ship was a light enveloping me during my search for Lorgar. It wasn't like the Light of the Emperor. It was... warm. Inviting... comforting. Like a presence I had never known before in my life. It made me feel... safe. It made me feel... loved. Truly loved without condition, like a child with a parent. And there was a voice. It said to me, "Forgive me, my child. Forgive me for the part I played in your life's journey. All I wanted was to keep you and your brothers safe from Him... I hope this can begin to make up for that act."
I could feel the shadows melting away and my body returning to normal. I could feel something press against my forehead before I blacked out. It was like... a kiss. I had never been kissed before then so I wasn't exactly sure if that is what it was, but I know it was something. It healed my body and my mind. It... restored me. For the most part. Nothing can erase my sins and I hope I can make up for them... somehow.
I relax in meditation in my cell on Deliverance. I am home at last. I have returned and I don't know if I will ever willing return to stay on Terra. I can fulfill my duties here as Spymaster just as well. As I drift into a state of calm, I hear a voice. It is a woman's voice. It is familiar to me... Like I heard it before... in the Warp. It says three words. Three little words.
"I love you."
Author's Note:
So, I was surprised when I read the short story "Shadow of the Past" and learned what happened to Corax. Corvus has always been a favorite of mine so doing a short story going over his time spent in the Warp. It also was an opportunity for me to really think about what could have been for Angron had he not lost his found family on Nuceria.
Also, this gave me the opportunity to give hints to a character revealed in Saturnine. I am not spoiling it, but it gave me an idea for my future story arcs. Also, read Saturnine. Really good book. Can't go wrong with Dan Abnett.