The Dawn of Autumn

by Forever without him

Alison DiLaurentis rules her town with a sharp tongue and an even sharper attitude. But she meets her match when Emily Fields, rebel with a cause rolls into town on her motorcycle and captures Alison's attention, and her heart. But there is more to Emily than meets the eye. Her mysterious past begins to bleed into her future, and it invokes Alison to go on the ride of her life.

42. Healing Hearts

A/N: That last chapter was rough. I've been sitting in the corner thinking about what I've done. I am deeply sorry. And I'm not just saying that because I want to get out of time out.

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Chapter 42:

Healing Hearts

The shock kept Emily from feeling anything. She knew her sweatpants and sweatshirt were covered in Courtney's blood, and she was vaguely aware of the nurse leading her back inside. But all she could hear was a buzzing sound.

She faintly recalled clutching her phone and thinking about calling Isaac. But what would she say to him? How could she tell him what had happened? Once he got the information about where the shooting had taken place he would be able to piece together exactly why Courtney was in Rosewood. He would be worried.

The nurse wrapped a blanket around her, whispering kind words about taking her back to her baby.

She felt numb as she limped towards her hospital room where Alison, Hanna, Mona, and Caleb were waiting. Autumn was restlessly moving around in Alison's arms.

When Emily heard Autumn crying she sprang back to life. She could feel her heart beating again.

Her daughter was safe.

"Today I learned that telling jokes to a newborn is a terrible way to try to get them to stop crying." Hanna grimaced, like she was apologizing for some heinous act.

"You're not a clown, Hanna. You're the whole damn circus." Mona poked her friend. "I think your joke about the duck and the ballet slippers made her cry harder." She gently rubbed the side of Autumn's jaw.

"Don't cry, baby." Alison spoke softly as she tried to get her situated. "It breaks my heart when you cry."

It broke more than her heart. It broke her spirit. Alison couldn't stand hearing her in any kind of pain. She gently stroked her head and promised her that everything was going to be okay.

Emily took a moment to observe the loving way Alison was with Autumn. They had such a unique relationship. She thought of all the times the blonde had connected to her before she'd been born. Emily could feel their bond. Somehow, her child had known before she knew just how important Alison DiLaurentis was to them.

"It breaks mine, too." Emily's voice came out scratchy and dull.

At first she didn't recognize the sound of her own voice. She didn't understand why her throat was hurting. The jagged pain was a reminder that she'd been crying. Because of Nick and Courtney.

Courtney.

She had momentarily forgotten about the kidnapping and the shooting. She had seen Alison and Autumn and it had shifted her focus away from what had happened on the roof.

Her voice startled everyone in the room. They hadn't seen her standing in the doorway. She'd been so quiet.

"Emily." Alison breathed a sigh of relief.

All eyes were on the brunette, but her eyes were on her daughter. She could see her little chest rising and falling rapidly as she huffed and whimpered.

Emily dropped the blanket shrouding her and rushed over to Alison's side. She was too engrossed in her baby to notice that everyone in the room was staring at the dark stains on her clothing.

Alison's face blanched when she saw the blood. There was so much of it. She gasped, shifting to cradle Autumn in one arm. She reached out to touch a spot on Emily's sweatshirt, her hand exploring, looking for a wound.

"I thought the bullet missed you." She swallowed hard as she slipped her fingers up underneath her clothing and touched her skin, terrified that she might find another painful scar.

"Are you okay?" Hanna's eyes went wide when she saw the blood.

"It's her blood." Emily couldn't bring herself to say Courtney's name. It was painful in a strange way.

When Courtney was in her arms, completely at her mercy, she'd thought about all the times that she'd been angry enough to kill her. But as she looked into her eyes as the blonde shivered in her embrace Emily had seen something she'd never seen before. Fear. She'd been so helpless.

When Courtney went limp in her arms she had sobbed like she'd never sobbed before. She had wanted to scream and beat on her chest, but she'd been ripped away by a medical team that she hadn't even seen coming.

"Is she…" Alison was trying to ask if Courtney was dead, but Emily didn't give her the opportunity to finish.

"It's okay, sweetheart." Emily cut Alison off, speaking to her daughter.

She looked down at Autumn, softly trying to soothe her. She saw her chest slowly returning to a normal breathing pattern.

"I think she was worried about you." Alison touched Autumn's cheek gently.

Emily leaned in and kissed Alison's forehead. She was torn, because she wanted to grab the blonde and kiss her and never let her go, but she also wanted to grab her baby girl and hold her and never let her go.

Alison seemed to understand exactly what they all needed. She looked down at Autumn and then passed her over to Emily.

"We tried to get her to settle, but I think she needs you," she said softly.

Emily gently bounced Autumn in her arms. Autumn looked up at her, her mouth twisting into an O shape. Her eyes widened, like she recognized her. She squeaked and then closed her mouth, her eyes still locked on her mother's.

Emily slowly sank down against the side of the bed, cringing and shifting uncomfortably when she felt the throbbing pressure between her legs. She had felt a shooting pain when she caught Courtney. She hadn't felt the brunt of it at the time because of the adrenaline, but the high had worn off and she could feel the pain. She was certain she was bleeding.

Alison didn't miss the mixed emotions on her face. She could tell that the brunette was in pain.

"Why don't you lay down?" Alison suggested.

"I'm fine," Emily said, still staring at Autumn.

She's safe. She told herself, over and over again. She's safe.

She'd almost lost her. She'd almost lost them both.

"Do you need anything?" Mona nervously started wringing her fingers together. "Hot cocoa? Chocolate? A gallon of Valium?"

"I have everything I need in this room." She reached for Alison's hand.

Alison grasped her clammy palm and sat down next to her. She put her finger against Autumn's palm and the baby automatically latched on to it, curling her little fingers over it. The three of them were linked. They shared an overpowering emotional connection. Emily and Alison looked at one another and then they looked at their daughter. She was a part of them. The most crucial part. She was their heart and soul.

Hanna glanced at Caleb and Mona. They seemed to understand that it was a private moment, that Alison and Emily needed that moment as a family. She nodded towards the door.

"I'm going to get you a change of clothes." Hanna glanced at her phone, looking at the hospital's website. "Gift shop is still open. At the very least you shouldn't have to walk around looking like a crime scene…" She stopped herself when she realized she was being insensitive. "God, that came out so wrong. I'm sorry, Em."

"It's okay." Emily's tone was a little less grave.

She had relaxed the moment she had her daughter in her arms. She glanced at a streak of blood on her long dark sleeve.

The arms that were holding Autumn were the same arms that had been holding Courtney, comforting her, even though the blonde didn't deserve it. Emily hadn't been able to hate her in that moment.

What kind of person showed kindness to the devil?

What kind of devil spared the life of the person she loved?

None of it made any sense. She was still trying to process it.

"I'll be back in a few minutes." Hanna looked at Autumn. "Don't do anything cute while I'm gone." Autumn yawned, a big yawn, and then cooed. "Yeah, cute like that." Hanna laughed softly.

Emily looked up at Alison, reaching up to trace her hand over the back of her head. She saw Alison flinch when she touched the gash on her skull. A surge of anger rushed through her. She found herself wanting to kill Courtney and Nick.

And then she remembered.

She didn't have to kill anyone.

She felt sick to her stomach at the thought of it.

"How bad is it?" She traced the large lump on Alison's head.

"Given that I woke up in a giant freezer, at least it was pre-iced to keep the swelling down." Alison ran her fingers over the back of her head. "Oh, gross…is that dried blood?"

She had never stopped to look at herself and she didn't realize that her hair was such a mess. It was perhaps the first time in her life that she couldn't care less about her appearance.

"Have you been checked by a doctor yet?" Emily asked.

"She refused because she didn't want to let anyone take Autumn from her." Mona gave Alison a disapproving look. She didn't like that Alison had been unconscious and in that freezer for so long.

A buzzing noise filled the air.

"Cops are on their way." Caleb glanced at his phone.

He shifted unevenly on his feet. Cops made him antsy, even more-so since he had technically broken the law by hacking into the hospital security cameras.

"So is Veronica Hastings." Alison stroked Autumn's cheek.

"She's here. Spencer just texted. We should go down to the lobby and meet them," Mona said, nudging Caleb's arm, a reminder that Hanna had wanted them to give Emily and Alison some time to themselves.

They walked towards the door.

"Why is Veronica Hastings here?" Emily looked at Alison in confusion.

Alison didn't answer. Her eyes landed on the blood on her clothes.

"Oh." Emily followed what Alison's eyes were tracking. She looked down. "Right."

The shooting.

She kept conveniently blocking that part of the night out. It's like there was a misfiring neuron in her brain. She went from analyzing everything that had happened to completely forgetting about it. Her mind was trying to protect her. It was trying to protect her like it had protected her from the extent of Courtney's attacks back in Texas.

"I called Spencer the minute I got Autumn out of there." Alison looked down at the newborn, who was content in Emily's arms.

That elevator ride had felt like the most terrifying ride of her life. She had stared at Autumn's teary little face the entire time. The baby had been quiet, having exhausted herself from crying so much.

When the doors finally opened she had found the others and told them what was going on. Hanna had already called the police, which would have been fine if there wasn't a dead body and a dying girl on the rooftop. Alison immediately decided they needed Spencer's help, so she'd called her.

"That was quick thinking." Emily was impressed.

"I just wish I could have been quicker when it came to getting Autumn away from that bitch."

She put her hand against Autumn's brand new blanket. She'd wanted all traces of Courtney as far away from the baby as possible. She didn't want her energy anywhere around her. She had tossed the blanket in a plastic bag, sure that it would have some kind of evidence of Courtney's heinous crimes on it.

"You couldn't have done anything any differently." Emily assured her, though she knew how Alison felt. She felt the same way. She felt like she had failed her daughter by letting Courtney get her hands on her. "She would have hurt her." She would have killed her. "I don't know…what stopped her."

She looked at her fragile little girl.

No, not fragile. Strong. She was a warrior, just like her mother. She had screamed her little lungs out because she knew that something was wrong. She knew her mommies would come running. She knew exactly what to do.

"Maybe deep down your pain resonated with her." After all, Courtney had lost a child, too.

"She thrived on me being in pain." Emily's voice came out cold, hard.

"Not pain like that." Alison shuddered, thinking about the noises that had come out of Emily's mouth when she thought Autumn was going to die. She would never forget the haunting screams, the keening cries. She would never forget the utter heartbreak it made her feel. She'd felt the weight of the potential loss, too.

Alison thought for sure Courtney was going to kill their daughter, but there had been that one moment of hesitation. Something had reached her.

They would never know that it wasn't anything they had said or done that had saved Autumn's life. It had been the infant herself, innocently staring at Courtney with her large sad eyes, her plump little lips trembling.

"I wanted to die." Emily whispered under her breath.

"I know."

Alison had heard her say as much when she was begging for Courtney to take her instead.

"Hearing her cry…seeing her so helpless…" Emily choked back a sob. "I've never been more afraid…more heartbroken in my life, even after everything happened back in San Antonio. With Courtney. With Isaac…" She stopped mid-sentence and her entire demeanor changed. "Isaac." She suddenly felt sick to her stomach. "Oh God." Her face contorted in pain. "I have to call him. He can't hear this from some stranger over the phone."

"You don't need to do anything right now." Alison touched her arm. "You're always putting everyone else before yourself. I'm not letting you do that this time."

"I'm fine." Emily blinked, a blank stare on her face.

"Honey, you're in shock," Alison said softly.

She'd seen two people get shot…two people she knew, no matter how much she hated one of them.

She'd considered Nick a friend. She still hadn't processed the betrayal, and she'd watched him die. Alison wasn't sure how Emily was handling Courtney's last minute heroics, but she knew there was bound to be some residual pain.

"But I…"

"No, Emily." Alison uttered with a growl. "You almost died out there." Her eyes were watering. She grabbed Emily's hand. "Look at yourself." She gestured to the blood on her clothing. "Do you not see how much you're shaking?"

Emily peered down at herself. She hadn't noticed because she was rocking Autumn, but Alison was right. She looked at herself, beyond her daughter. She still had Courtney's blood caked into her fingernails. She'd washed her hands, but she could still see it.

"You almost got yourself killed." Alison touched Emily's cheek.

Emily turned to face her, their eyes meeting. Emily could only nod in agreement. She knew what she was doing when she put herself in front of her girls. And she'd do it again.

Their bodies turned towards each other, both of them naturally gravitating towards one another. Emily touched Alison's face, her palm gently grazing it. The heat of her skin kept her grounded. She tried not to think about seeing Nick raise that gun. She tried not to think about Courtney shielding them with her body. She tried not to think about the blood slowly draining from her body, her quiet pleas to make it stop, her heartbreaking wish to be normal, her desperate attempt to understand love, the gripping pain as she accepted the loss of her child. It was all so tragic.

Emily wasn't sure when she moved forward to capture Alison's lips. She just remembered thinking she needed her. They needed each other.

Alison felt something peculiar in the motion. It was only when she parted her lips and tasted something salty that she realized Emily was crying. She was letting everything out. Alison could feel her pain. She could feel the terrifying fear of losing her child. She could feel everything.

Emily had been so strong for so long. Alison didn't know she had a breaking point. But she did. And now she knew what it was.

Alison faltered. She wasn't sure what to do. Because Emily was usually the strong one. The last time she'd seen her this upset was after she found out Maya was in the ICU.

Emily let out a shaky breath, her lips trembling against Alison's. She pulled back and put her forehead against the blonde's again, just to remind herself that they were okay. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths.

When she opened them back up she saw Alison's clear blue eyes radiating concern. She touched Emily's face, running her finger over a tiny speck of dried blood next to her left eye.

She looked haunted. Alison couldn't imagine what Emily had been through after those elevator doors closed. She had no idea what Courtney might have said or done. She had no idea what Emily felt like.

"Em…" She could see something dark in her expression. "Baby, what happened out there?"

Emily didn't reply, so Alison didn't force it. They waited, calmly, patiently, to see who would make it to the room first: the police or Veronica Hastings.

Emily's parents beat everyone else there.

Wayne had pulled up and saw the huge police presence. He'd grabbed his phone from the center console to find several missed calls from Hanna. Emily and Alison had both been too preoccupied to call them.

When they rushed into the room Emily felt a sense of relief. Her father wrapped her and Autumn up in his arms and squeezed her and kissed her head. When he let her go she was crying. Her mother brushed away her tears. Emily hated that she was crying so much. She hated that she'd let Courtney affect her so much.

She tried to shut it out, but it was like a constant replay, a terrible song stuck in her head playing on a loop over and over again. She wondered if that's what Courtney felt like all the time, not being able to shut her thoughts up.

Her mind was racing. The world was still spinning, but she felt stuck. It didn't register to her when she saw her dad talking to her doctor, nodding along seriously as they had a conversation. It didn't register when she saw her mother gently reaching for Alison's hand and telling her that they were safe.

She tried to build up barriers, but fifteen minutes later the cops were pressing her about what had happened.

Spencer had sicced her mother on them.

Spencer meeting Autumn should have been a joyous occasion, but it was wracked with bittersweet emotions because it was overshadowed by Veronica acting as a liaison between Emily, Alison, and the police.

They gave their statements, Emily with Autumn in her arms. She refused to let go of her daughter, even though she knew the danger was over. Even after the cops had left the room Emily clutched Autumn like she was afraid she might lose her. Autumn gripped Emily's new gift shop shirt in between her fingers, holding her just as tight.

She was trying to let her child heal her heart. She was trying to look at the bright spot in the dark night. She focused on Autumn's high pitched grunts instead of her survivor's guilt. She focused on Autumn's inquisitive grey eyes instead of the fact that she was a terrible person for not calling Isaac. Looking at Autumn steadied her, the same way her bike rides in the fall steadied her.

The room was quiet. It was just the two of them.

Alison had been escorted out by a police officer who mentioned that they had a few more questions for her.

She'd passed by Spencer on the way.

The youngest Hastings had an air of professionalism in her stride. Part of her wanted to follow Alison and make sure she knew her rights. But then she remembered it was Alison, and she could take care of herself.

The hospital hallways were still in complete chaos. Officers in uniforms were everywhere. There were even a few plainclothes officers looking and having serious conversations with each other. Doctors and nurses were all over the place. She'd seen Hanna and Mona hanging out in the waiting area. Caleb had to get back to the coffee shop. Spencer was pretty sure part of the reason he left was because he despised cops.

She walked through the crowd of people, approaching Emily's room. She peered inside and saw Emily sitting in the chair next to the bed. She gently rapped on the door, making sure it was okay to come in.

"Hey." Spencer lifted her hand half-heartedly and waved.

"Hey." Emily smiled as Spencer walked over to her.

Spencer looked down at the baby in Emily's arms. She had seen pictures, but they didn't do her justice. Emily's daughter had inherited her mother's best traits.

"She's a doll, Em." She tickled the baby's cheek.

Autumn parted her lips and an "oh" noise came out. The noise had a direct line to Spencer's heart. She wasn't normally a fan of children, but she had already decided that Emily's daughter would be an exception to that rule.

"I still can't believe it." Emily admitted, adjusting the hat on her daughter's head. "I dreamed up the perfect child in my head and she exceeded every expectation." She smiled warmly. "We are so in love."

"Speaking of, I'm surprised that Alison isn't clawing her way back in here." Spencer looked around the empty room.

Autumn started squirming in Emily's arms. She couldn't have possibly known that Spencer was talking about Alison, yet it seemed like she did. Emily quietly shushed her.

"Oh, she'll be back." Emily laughed. "Right after she rips that mouthy rookie to pieces for getting too close to Autumn."

She had watched the blonde viciously sink her fangs into a cocky young officer who thought he could separate Emily and Autumn so he could question her without the distraction. Alison had, in no uncertain terms, threatened to shove his "shiny" badge up his ass. It was a bit of a turn on to see Alison assert herself to protect their family.

"She went mama bear." Emily's lips twitched. "It was kind of hot."

"I never figured her for the maternal type." Spencer laughed. "She really has taken to this motherhood thing, hasn't she?"

"There is no doubt in my mind she loves her." Emily slipped her finger into Autumn's mouth to pacify her. "She would kill for her."

Emily thought about the rage she'd seen in Alison's eyes as she was getting ready to bash Courtney's head in. She'd seen that same rage when the officer crossed the invisible line and got too close to the baby. She was going to be one of those mothers who destroyed anyone who even looked at their child funny.

"Listen, I know you two didn't do anything wrong out there, but you might want to be careful about murder talk." Spencer grimaced through her teeth.

"They have footage." Emily glanced at Spencer. "Thanks to Caleb's help."

He had discovered cameras on the building adjacent to the hospital after they'd emerged from the parking deck. He'd pointed it out to the police when they got there. It was angled towards the elevators on the top level. It would show Courtney in full view raising her weapon at Nick and being struck by a bullet from his gun.

"And the evidence will support everything we told the cops. Alison's head injury. Traces of her DNA in the morgue cabinet. Courtney's DNA on Autumn's blanket." She shuddered.

She was still unsettled at the thought of Courtney's hands being all over her child...the same hands that had done terrible things to her over the years. The images of what Courtney could have done to her child would be in her mind forever.

"There will be gunshot residue on Courtney and Nick…"

She cleared her throat. She didn't like talking about the shooting. She didn't like thinking about what had happened. She didn't like thinking about what could have happened.

"I just don't want the cops to hassle you. You've already been through enough." Spencer gave her hand a gentle squeeze and then let it go. "If they start acting like pricks, let me know. I'll unleash my mom on them again."

"Thanks for the back up tonight." Emily brushed her fingertips over Autumn's forehead. It seemed to relax the newborn.

"Any time." Spencer smiled.

Spencer sat down on the edge of the bed next to the chair. She watched as Emily carefully tucked Autumn's blanket in so she was swaddled tightly.

"She seems to be doing okay, especially given what happened tonight." Spencer didn't see any obvious signs of stress.

"Yeah." Emily replied sadly. She hated that her daughter had been subjected to such cruel torture. She could still hear her baby's echoing cries in her head. It made her feel sick. "Being out there…being unable to help her…it was the worst thing I've ever experienced."

Spencer looked down at her feet. She thought about what Alison and Emily had been going through. It had been happening for months. Hanna had filled Spencer in. She couldn't believe that they'd been suffering in silence.

"I'm so sorry," she said quietly.

"For what?" Emily looked at her in confusion.

"This year has been really hectic and I've been crazy busy with SATs and extra-curriculars and college admissions, but I should have known what was going on. I'm sorry I didn't see any of this sooner."

"It's not your fault." Emily reached out and touched Spencer's hand. "We hid it."

"Yeah, you hid it way too well." Spencer's voice cracked. She tried to clear her throat, choking down the lump that had formed there. "You should have told us."

"I couldn't risk your lives." Emily sighed, shaking her head. "Coming back to Rosewood…" She paused and thought about how excited she'd been to get back to her roots. Back to her friends. Back to rides on her bike through the fall leaves. "It made me feel like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. I belong here. This town…everyone in it…you all mean something to me. I knew that years had gone by. I didn't expect you all to remember me, but you did."

"You're pretty unforgettable." Spencer shrugged, nudging her with a smile.

"I didn't want my past to destroy what we have here. I know Rosewood isn't perfect, but it's where my heart is."

"Because Alison is where your heart is." Spencer nodded in understanding. "It's still so crazy that the two of you ended up together."

"My home isn't my home without her."

Her home. Her family.

She just hated that Courtney and Nick had skewed that home.

Spencer sat with her while they were waiting on Alison to get back.

The blonde wasn't gone long. She came back all fired up, but her anger dissipated when she saw Emily and Autumn.

Her home. Her family.

Autumn had a way to both of their hearts. They knew that things were going to be very different, but they were ready for the challenge.

o ~ O ~ o

When Emily got the all-clear to get discharged she felt a rising tension overtaking her. She thought it was crazy that new moms were just handed a little human to care for without an instruction manual.

Then again, there weren't a lot of books on how to handle your baby-daddy's psychotic sister kidnapping your child.

Most of their wounds were invisible to the naked eye. The psychological aspect of what had happened was worse than the physical injuries.

Alison had a hell of a knot on her head, but the gash wasn't deep enough to need stitches. Despite the fact that she had been knocked unconscious she didn't have a concussion. Emily had to be checked by her doctor because of the physical exertion she'd put on her body. Autumn had also been checked out to make sure she was okay.

They managed to keep what happened out of the news. Veronica stepped in to protect Emily's privacy. Mrs. Hastings handled the media like a pro. The news reported the shooting, but left Emily, Alison, and the kidnapping out of it. But the story was the talk of the town.

They slipped out the employee entrance to avoid the news caravan. Spencer, Hanna, and Mona walked out with them.

"Aria wants to know if it's okay if she meets us at your house." Spencer looked at a message on her phone. "I think she needs to see that you are all physically okay or she won't be able to sleep tonight."

"Yeah, of course." Emily nodded.

Spencer hitched a ride with Hanna and Mona. Emily was right behind them with her parents and Alison.

She had struggled to get the car seat in right. Her hands were shaking so badly that she gave up and let her dad do it.

The girls beat Emily and her parents to her house. Aria was sitting outside on the doorstep with something large and boxy in her lap. She looked really small curled in on herself. When she saw the car pulling into the driveway she eagerly pushed herself to her feet.

They walked over to her, noticing the large dish in her hands.

"Are they okay? Where are they?" Aria questioned, standing on her tiptoes to see past their car. She was looking for Alison and Emily.

"Right behind us. They had to get the baby situated in the car seat." Mona replied.

Spencer observed the comfort food in Aria's hands.

"Lasagna?" Spencer lifted her brow curiously at Aria. "She had a baby and then her baby was kidnapped by her psycho stalker. She's not Garfield having a bad Monday."

"I panicked." Aria admitted, her cheeks flushing.

"You panic bake?" Spencer cracked a wry smile. "That's adorable."

"Shut up." Aria laughed. She would have playfully pushed Spencer if her hands weren't full.

"Come on, let's go in and make them some tea or something." Hanna moved towards the front door.

"They're not here yet." Mona reminded her, glancing inside the dark window.

"Emily gave me a key for emergencies." Hanna jingled the keyring in her hands.

She opened the door and they walked inside, turning on the lights. Aria took the lasagna into the kitchen and then they settled in the living room to wait. Hanna turned the TV on. The first thing that popped up was the shooting at the hospital.

Aria frowned at the reporter talking very seriously with the hospital in the background. She flitted around the living room nervously looking for something to do. She started tidying things up. Emily's mom usually kept things pretty straight, but she found a few things to clean up.

Emily walked in a few minutes later with Autumn in her arms. Alison was right beside her. Her parents were trailing behind them. Wayne had the empty car seat and one of Emily's bags in his hands.

Emily thought she'd be emotionally drained after the day she had. She thought seeing them would be too much for her, but something about being home safe with their love surrounding her gave her an incredible sense of comfort.

Aria was the first one to bound over to her, the others slowly following. Unlike the other girls, she hadn't seen that they were okay yet.

Aria pulled Alison into an embrace, which surprised the blonde. Aria pulled back and reached out to hug Emily, but then she remembered the baby in her arms. Instead, she moved forward, peering at Autumn.

"Oh, Em…" She gently put her fingers against the top of the blanket. "She looks like you."

"Do I smell lasagna?" Pam put down a bag she had in her hands. It was full of things from the hospital.

Aria smiled timidly at the older woman.

"With everything that happened I thought you all might need a break from having to think about what's for dinner. I knew you were dealing with a lot."

"That was very thoughtful of you, Aria. Thank you." Pam smiled. She looked around the living room, noticing that something seemed off. "And you cleaned the living room, too? Can I adopt you?"

The girls chuckled. Pam and Wayne left them to talk. They took it upon themselves to unload Emily's things.

Emily turned to Alison.

"Would you mind?" She held Autumn out to her.

Alison gladly took her.

When Emily had her hands free she engulfed Aria in a hug.

"Thank you. So much." She glanced at the rest of the girls. "Thank you all. For everything."

"I'd ask how you're doing, but something tells me you're sick of being asked that question."

Emily's lips curved up in a smile. One of the first genuine smiles she'd had since she'd discovered Autumn had been kidnapped.

Aria had always been introspective and sensitive. And she'd hit the nail on the head.

"You brought food and you're going to treat me like a normal human being? You were always my favorite." She loudly whispered for the others to hear. She said it with a cheeky grin on her face. Being with her friends felt so normal.

"Hear that? I'm the favorite." Aria grinned at the others.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Hanna shrugged it off. "That does not mean you get Godmother privileges. I dressed her mommy all throughout her pregnancy. She already knows her Auntie Hanna."

"Yeah, but Aria cooks and cleans." Spencer interjected.

"That's…" Mona puckered her lips with her brow upturned, "That's not how it works. A Godmother's duty has nothing to do with dresses and side dishes."

"It's a full course meal." Aria retorted.

"I can't believe you cleaned my living room." Emily chuckled.

"I'm sorry. I was nervous. I was worried we were going to overwhelm you, but I mean…" Aria motioned to the TV. It was all over every news station.

"Yeah, Rosewood loves a good bloody story." Alison rolled her eyes.

Autumn grunted from her arms. Alison took that to mean that she was agreeing with her.

"I know." She placated her, cooing. "There are so many nosy people here, aren't there?"

Aria faced Alison.

"How are you doing?"

Alison was once again surprised by her level of sympathy. Had she really earned their kindness? First Hanna and Mona saving her life, then Spencer coming to the rescue, and now Aria was asking her if she was okay?

She glanced at Hanna. The two of them shared an unspoken exchange. Alison would never be able to repay her for dragging her out of that freezer. She owed Hanna Marin her life, and Emily's and Autumn's, too. Had it not been for her quick thinking they never would have been able to intercept Nick and Courtney. Alison gave the wily blonde a slight thankful nod of the head. Hanna nodded back.

"I'm alive," Alison said. "Thanks to Hanna."

Her comment earned an earnest smile from Hanna.

"It was nothing," she said with a wave of her hand, trying to be modest. "Just a little ingenuity and some sensible heels."

Before Alison could tell her to take the damn compliment she was interrupted by the television,

"Some sources say that there was a dispute involved with someone at the hospital." A shiny-blonde haired reporter looked out from the television like she was utterly concerned, but she was dead behind the eyes. "We're working hard to uncover the story, but our investigators have clashed with a local lawyer over privacy laws…"

The screen cut away from the reporter and showed a framed close up of Veronica Hastings. She glared at the camera as she rattled off a list of laws they would be in violation of if they continued to dig. Then she told them what she would do to them in court.

"I would not want to be her opposing counsel." Alison grimaced. She was glad that Spencer's mom was on their side.

"You should see her before she's had her full dose of morning caffeine." Spencer looked on at her mother, who was standing firm on the front steps of the hospital, "It's not a pretty sight."

Veronica Hastings was probably the smartest woman that Emily had ever met. She suspected that Mrs. Hastings had always known something else was going on. She remembered the way Veronica had looked at her after Wilden's preliminary trial. She hadn't just looked at her. She had looked through her.

"Secrets have a way of eating away at you. And I've often found that it's when we think we're at our weakest that our loved ones make us stronger. Clinging to secrets and being unwilling to let them go…it's not healthy."

Emily wondered how different things would have been had they just told someone sooner.

The room had gone silent. The girls glanced at Emily and Alison. Emily's eyes were glued to the television screen, but she wasn't really watching it. Alison was busying herself trying to entertain Autumn.

"Our reporters are not deterred by the threats and we intend to get to the bottom of this…"

Spencer reached for the remote to turn it off.

"TV is overrated." She put the remote down. "The real entertainment is this little one." She smiled at Autumn.

They took turns passing her around. Emily was afraid she would start crying the way she did when Courtney held her, but the newborn didn't seem bothered. She seemed to understand she was in safe hands with them.

Watching them all fawn over her daughter gave her the security she needed. She was worried it might be too much stimulation, but Autumn ate the attention up.

The girls didn't stay long. They didn't want to overstay their welcome. They knew that Emily, Alison, and Autumn had been through a lot.

Once they were gone Alison and Emily went up to her room. Her dad had put a bassinet near the bed for her. They got her changed and ready for bed. The diaper changes were still a work in progress. Autumn's little naked body trembled every time they had to clean her up. Alison sang to her to comfort her.

Emily had to pry herself away for a few minutes to take a shower. She could still smell the remnants of Courtney on her skin. Part of her wanted to scrub her skin until it bled to wash her away. The other part of her had trouble coming to terms with letting her go.

She stared at the wall as the water beat down her back. If she closed her eyes she could still hear the crack of the gun. She saw the flash of the muzzle. She could see the look on Courtney's face.

She slapped her palm against the tile angrily as tears flooded her cheeks. She made a fist and slammed it against the hard surface as she cursed Courtney under her breath. She watched her tears swirling down the shower drain. She felt a strange weightlessness, a pressure being released.

When she was done she wrapped a towel around herself and sat on the toilet, angled towards the mirror. She stared at herself for a while. Then she pushed herself to her feet and put her clothes on. She knew her daughter needed to eat. Her baby needed her.

When she walked out of the bathroom she found her mother walking the hallway with her daughter. She wondered if she'd done the same thing with her when she was a baby.

Emily caught the quiet whispers of what her mom was saying.

"I'm the luckiest grandma in the world to have you as my granddaughter." She kissed her head as she paced the floor. "You're the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. Right up there with your mother." She caressed her cheek. "I'm sure you'll grow up to be just as wonderful as she is."

Tears prickled Emily's eyes.

"Don't take your mommy for granted, Autumn. Because she's the best thing that's ever happened to us. And she gave us you."

Emily leaned against the door frame, feeling a warmth flow through her. She watched her mom and Autumn for a few more seconds and then walked up behind her. Pam turned around and their eyes met.

"Do you really mean that?" Emily swallowed a knot in her throat.

"Of course. Your father and I are so proud of you." She looked at her grandbaby again. "I look at her and all I can think about is how blessed we are." She played with her fingers.

"I'm blessed, too." Emily smiled at her mom.

Pam reached out and grasped Emily's hand. They shared a quiet moment. Then Pam cleared her throat and made a face that Emily wasn't sure how to interpret.

"What's wrong?" Emily questioned.

"I just hate to leave her."

"Well, you're going to have to let her go sometime, because I don't think your boobs can do what mine can for her."

Pam laughed.

"I meant literally. I have to leave for a little while. I have to drive your father in to work. His car won't start and we don't have time to fool with it. I'd just tell him to take mine, but I have a meeting with Veronica tomorrow and then I have to go in to work."

"He's welcome to take my bike." Emily grinned.

Her mother scowled.

"Over my dead body. I already have to worry about you on that death trap. I don't need him deciding to relive his glory days and coming home with a Harley one day."

"I would love to do father-daughter daredevil act with him." Emily pushed it.

Pam rolled her eyes and looked down at Autumn.

"Your mother is a brat. But still…you be good for her." She kissed her.

Autumn's lips wrinkled up, along with her forehead. She moved her fist against her mouth, rubbing her lips.

"Someone is hungry." Pam glanced at Emily. "Guess you have a point about your boobs." She slowly shifted Autumn in her arms, getting ready to hand her to Emily. She paused, hesitating as she admired the baby's beauty. "Ohh, it's so hard to let her go." She snuggled her granddaughter close.

"No kidding. I'm surprised Alison let you pry her out of her arms." Emily smiled down at her daughter.

"She didn't have a choice. I'm pretty sure that girl hasn't eaten in days. I made her dinner. She's in the kitchen with your father."

"You…" Emily tilted her head in confusion. "What?"

Her mother had been a lot nicer to Alison since Wilden attacked them in New York, but she hadn't been overly nice. It was strange that she was suddenly treating her like another daughter. Did her mom feel that way about Alison now? Did she finally understand how much they meant to one another?

"I was wrong about her, Emily." Pam sighed. "I was wrong about a lot of things. Sometimes I wasn't a very good mother."

"At least you never let me get kidnapped…"

"Emily Fields, I don't ever want to hear you talk like that." Her mother's tone was as good as a slap across the face. "You had no control over what happened. You did exactly what every mother would do. You protected your child. And look…" She gently passed Autumn to her mother. "She is safe and sound in your arms."

Emily stared at Autumn. She felt like that's all she did since giving birth. But she couldn't help it. She still couldn't believe her daughter was real. She still couldn't believe that she was a mother.

She walked down the hallway, smiling at her baby. Autumn read her face. Emily knew she was still too little to actually see her in perfect clarity, but she saw a little flicker of a smile reflecting back at her.

She walked with her for a few minutes, stopping every so often to admire her. When she went into her room to grab a hair-tie she stopped walking and stared out the window. She was surprised to see Toby parked outside at the end of her driveway. He was kicked up on his bike seat, feet over the handles. Her parents and Alison had to know he was there. She wondered why he hadn't come in.

She bundled Autumn up in a blanket and then carefully walked down the steps and towards the front door. The evening air was starting to feel like summertime. She smelled the freshly cut grass and the flowers blooming.

Toby saw her coming. He turned his head towards her, but stayed perched on his motorcycle. He looked a little ridiculous, but also a little badass.

"Are you bringing the rugrat?" He glanced up at the stars before turning to face her again. "I want to meet my new little niece."

"It's about dinner time for her, so she might be a little cranky." Emily warned.

"We're all a little cranky." He finally sat up. He flung his feet off the handlebars and planted them against the pavement. He swiveled off of his bike.

He huddled over the tiny mass in her arms. Autumn yawned and moved her head around. She spotted Toby underneath the streetlight. Her eyes locked curiously on his.

"Aw, Em…she's beautiful." He smiled. "Her eyes are just…wow."

"I know." Emily smiled. She glanced up at her childhood friend, the first friend she'd seen when she moved back to Rosewood. "So, not that I'm not happy to see you, but what brings you by?"

"I'm not being creepy. I promise." He held his hands up submissively.

Emily laughed. It felt good to laugh. Normal. Like the night hadn't happened.

"You can come inside." Emily nodded towards the house.

"Nah, I'm standing guard." He shook his head, a firm look on his face.

"Spencer told you?" Emily guessed.

"It was Caleb, actually. He's a real gossip whore, that one." Toby winked. "Kidding. It was Spence. She was worried. Mike, Caleb, Ezra, Jake, and I are all going to take shifts."

"It's over. They can't hurt us anymore." Emily replied softly.

"No, but the vultures circling for a good angle in their story certainly can. And they're not going to get anywhere near you, Alison, or this little one. She'll have a lifetime's worth of protection as long as I'm around," he said.

"You and everyone else we know." Emily touched her daughter's cheek.

The entire community was spellbound by her daughter.

"Yeah, but none of them have my karate moves."

"Mike might challenge that." Emily shot back with a laugh.

Autumn opened her mouth, looking to latch on to Emily's finger. She found it easily and started sucking it.

"I really need to feed her."

"Do what you gotta do. I'll do what I gotta do." He sat back on his bike.

"You're being ridiculous," Emily shook her head with a laugh.

"It's just like camping. Only instead of fighting off bears I'll be fighting off Communication and Journalism Majors. Terrifying." He feigned a shudder.

"You'd make a good cop." Emily thought about it.

He shook his head and twisted his lips up like he'd smelled something rotten.

"I'd make a terrible cop. I'd probably accidentally ingest weed gummies in evidence lock up or something."

"Thank the guys for me."

He clucked his tongue and winked at her.

"You got it, m'lady."

"Now you're being weird." Emily chuckled.

Toby laid back against his motorcycle, looking up at the night sky.

A memory Emily had forgotten from when they were kids popped into her head as she was walking back inside the house. They'd camped out in his backyard when they were five. He had gotten scared in the middle of the night even though their dads were ten feet away. She had grabbed his hand and marched him out of the tent and showed him the stars, pointing out some of the brightest ones. He'd never been afraid after that.

Toby was just repaying the favor. He wanted her to know there was nothing to be scared of.

Emily hadn't expected to socialize so much after giving birth. She assumed she'd be too exhausted to chat with her friends, but it had turned out to be exactly what she needed.

Alison met her at the front door.

"He's playing the role of bodyguard," she said.

"So he says." Emily nodded, walking into the foyer.

"Did he love her?" Alison leaned over and tickled her little chin.

"He did." Emily smiled.

They walked upstairs. Emily got comfortable on the bed. Alison sat down next to her. She reached down to straighten Autumn's blanket. The baby protested, kicking her feet and flailing her arms, her mouth opening wide again, searching for something to nourish her. She was starting to get impatient.

"Ohh, she's cranky." Alison laughed at the little fit.

"She's hungry." Emily reached for a pillow to support Autumn's weight as she nursed. "This child eats more than a growing teenager." Emily lifted her shirt, letting the baby find her source of food.

"She might like your boobs more than I do. That's impressive." Alison touched Autumn's curly hair.

"No one likes my boobs more than you do." Emily leaned over and planted a kiss on her lips. "But she's occupying them right now. Why don't you go take a shower?"

Her shower had helped her relax a bit. She was hoping it would do the same for Alison.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" Alison lifted her arms and sniffed her arm pits.

"Weren't you all over me about self-care a few hours ago?" Emily gave her a teasing look.

"Alright." Alison nodded. "Point taken."

She glanced down at Autumn. The more she looked at her the more she saw the mixture of Emily and Isaac. She knew Emily saw it, too.

"You know what I said back there at the hospital about not calling Isaac…that wasn't about him. That was about you. I was worried about you."

"I know." Emily smiled weakly. "But I can't keep putting it off. I have to call him."

She imagined he knew by now. She felt like a terrible friend. Isaac would have hopped on a plane to be with her if her family had been fractured like his. She was surprised she hadn't heard from him yet. Not even a text. He was probably in shock.

"You don't have to take on everyone else's pain while you're still dealing with your own," Alison said softly.

"He's not just 'everyone else' to me. He's family. You of all people know what family means to me."

"Exactly. And that's why I know it's going to hurt you so damn much."

It was incredibly perceptive, and very sweet. Sometimes Emily forgot just how much Alison had grown. She'd come a long way from the bitchy girl in the cafeteria Emily encountered her first day back at school.

"I have to do this." Emily replied.

"I know." She sighed, lightly sweeping the brunette's chin with her fingers before leaning over to kiss her. "That's what makes you Emily."

She touched Autumn's head once more before getting up to leave. The baby had only been out in the world for a few days, but remembering life without her felt impossible.

Emily listened to the sounds of Alison's soft footsteps receding and then the sounds of the water running through the pipes. The white noise coupled with hearing her mother's heart while she nursed soothed Autumn to sleep faster than normal. When she was done nursing Emily put Autumn in her bassinet and reached for the phone.

She had to mentally prepare herself as she stared at Isaac's number. She wasn't sure what to expect, so when she hit the call button and he picked up she had no idea what to say.

"Isaac…" Her voice was filled with sympathy.

"Hey." He sighed. His nose was clogged up. It sounded like he'd been crying.

"I should have called you sooner."

"I understand why you didn't." He took a deep breath. He hadn't just been crying. He was still crying. Before Emily could say anything to comfort him he huffed out a breath. "How are you?"

She was getting annoyed with how often she was hearing that question, but coming from Isaac it only made her feel soft. Because he was reeling, too.

There was a beat of silence as Emily tried to figure out how she wanted to answer. All she could think about was Courtney,

"Am I good now?"

"I'm okay." It came out soft and unconvincing.

He knew she was lying.

"No, you're not."

"No." She agreed. "I'm not." She took a thoughtful breath. "How are you?"

"I don't know." At least he was being honest. "None of it has started to sink in yet. It doesn't feel real. It's weird. I swore I'd never go back home, but right now I just want to be with my family." He paused and then added. "I mean, I am with my family. But it's not the same. My grandparents have been talking to mom and dad. Mom was apparently hysterical and had to be sedated when she found out."

It was strange that even monsters were loved by their parents.

Emily felt an ache in her chest. She didn't particularly care for Isaac's parents, but she felt for them. Courtney was still their child.

"That's awful." Emily's voice was strained. She didn't know what she would do if something happened to her baby. She'd probably need to be sedated, too.

"They're flying out on a red eye," he said. "My grandparents offered to pay for a plane ticket for me. I…" He paused, like he was trying to figure something out. "I… think I'm going to take them up on it. It just feels like I need to be there. I know I can't change anything, but I also can't sit here and do nothing." His tone was gravelly and uneven. "I still can't believe it. I don't understand. Why was she even there? What was she trying to do?"

Emily glanced at Autumn, making sure she was still okay. Even though they were safe now Emily was sure that she was going to be obsessively double-checking on her every five minutes.

She wasn't sure if she was ready to tell Isaac everything, but she owed him the truth. Not only that, but she couldn't hold it in anymore.

"There are some things I need to tell you," she inhaled a deep breath.

She wasn't sure it was the right time, but there was never going to be a right time. And she knew that the cops were going to be asking hundreds of questions. So she told him about the messages, the threats, and the kidnapping. She told him about Courtney's pregnancy loss. She told him about Nick pulling the gun on them, and about Courtney taking the bullet for them.

When she was finished he was silent for a long time. The silence burrowed into her brain, made her heart ache from within.

She wanted to say something, but she didn't know what to say.

It was Isaac who broke the silence. And true to who he was, his first concern was Emily.

"I'm sorry." He was still apologizing for his sister. "I'm so sorry that you went through that…that she put you through that." There was a pause on the line, then, "I can't make up for it…"

"I don't expect you to." Emily quickly tried to shut his self-hatred down. She knew he would blame himself for the rest of his life. "What she did was on her."

"That's true," he said. Emily could practically hear the wheels spinning in his head. She could picture him puckering his lips in thought, something Autumn had inherited from him. "But I was always taught that all it takes for evil to prevail is for good men to stand by and do nothing."

"You can't do any good when you don't know the bad is happening."

"She could have killed you…the baby."

"Trust me, no one knows that more than I do. I had a front row seat to the whole horror show." Emily clenched her jaw.

"Did she say anything to you?" Isaac asked. "I mean…after…when she got shot?"

Emily felt a lump in her throat. Nothing Courtney told him would make him feel any better.

"She saved our lives." Her entire body tensed up at the thought of it. Her sworn enemy taking a bullet for her. It still felt foreign to her. Hating Courtney didn't make it less true. The girl had saved them. "Mine. Autumn's." She bit her lip. "Alison's." Though she was sure that Alison wasn't at the forefront of her mind when she made the decision to step in front of them. "She saved us, and that's all I really care about."

"You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known," he said sadly. "I'll never understand my sister. And I don't think I'll ever understand why I love her or why I care…or why I can't just stop caring. I'm…I'm so angry at her."

Emily unfortunately knew exactly what he felt like. She was still so mad at Courtney, not just for the years of torture, but for jumping in front of the gun.

"How bad was it when we were dating?" he questioned.

Memories of all the times Courtney had tried to hurt her flashed through her mind, but she didn't say anything. She couldn't.

"Please tell me what she did to you." His voice came out as a whisper.

"I can't go into it. Not tonight."

Isaac didn't push her. Like Alison, he understood that she'd been through something traumatic.

"If you ever want to talk, I'm here," he said.

"Thanks. You too."

He knew it wasn't right to try and get answers to his questions by making her relive it. He got the message loud and clear, and he immediately shifted the topic.

"How's Autumn?" He hoped his sister hadn't done lasting damage to the little girl.

Emily couldn't help but smile. Her daughter made her so happy. She rambled on about the baby for a while as Isaac listened, hanging on her every word.

She was just getting off the phone with him when Alison walked in fresh from her shower. She was combing her partially dried hair. She was wearing one of Emily's night shirts, which was big on her. It was hanging down over her knees.

She sauntered over to the bassinet, peeking at the snoring infant snuggled inside of it. Her little lips were constantly pulsing. Her eyelids fluttered. Alison wanted to know what she was dreaming about. She hoped it was about her and Emily.

Alison lifted the covers and slid into bed next to Emily. They both rolled on to their sides, their eyes meeting.

For the first time since Emily had gone into labor it was quiet, calm. Alison shifted her face against her pillow, quietly moving closer to the brunette. Emily mirrored her motions until their lips were just inches apart.

Alison could see the conflicting sorrow and relief in Emily's eyes. Emily could see the soft vulnerability and exhaustion in Alison's.

"Is it really over?" Alison whispered, her fingers grazing Emily's cheek.

She thought of all the messages, all the threats, all the attacks.

"It's really over." Emily threaded her fingers through Alison's hair. "We made it. We're okay."

Alison tilted her head forward, letting her forehead rest against Emily's. She let out a shaky breath. She silently reached for Emily's hand and linked their fingers together between them.

Things had been so crazy that they'd barely had a moment alone, let alone an intimate moment. Neither of them had completely processed the last few days.

"We're okay, Alison." Emily repeated quietly.

The brunette lifted her chin just enough so their lips could touch. Alison parted her mouth, granting Emily's warm tongue access.

The need for comfort made their urges feel more pressing. As Emily stroked the side of her face Alison felt a mixture of desire and safety. Emily always made her feel safe. Alison slowly pulled her fingers away from Emily's and laid her palm against Emily's bare hip.

Since giving birth she only wore a button up shirt and underwear in bed. The shirt made nursing a lot easier. Going pants-less had been more about the discomfort she still felt from the labor.

Alison's instincts were to push her fingers down below her panties, but it was way too soon for anything of that nature. Alison wanted her, but she knew Emily was still sore. She ran her palm up against Emily's side, stopping when it came to rest against the side of her breast. She caressed her tender skin gently.

"How are you?" Alison asked through her breathless panting.

Emily knew exactly what she was asking.

"Still hurting." Emily kissed her, cupping her cheek. She moved her hand down against Alison's thigh, grazing her nightshirt. She slipped her fingertips up against her stomach. "But I can take care of you."

Her fingers tickled the waistband of her panties. Alison chuckled and lowered her head into the crook of Emily's neck. It felt so good to be touched by her again. She nipped at Emily's neck and then placed a trail of kisses against her skin.

Alison felt Emily dipping her fingers lower and she mashed her lips against Emily's again and moaned into her mouth. Emily swallowed her pleasure.

"Your parents…" Alison mumbled against their kiss.

"My dad left for work an hour ago." Emily pecked her bruised lips. "My mom had to drive him."

It was strange the way that life went on after such cosmic events.

"The baby…"

"Is still sleeping. She won't need to nurse for another two hours."

"We really shouldn't…"

Emily cut her off with a needy kiss. She wanted to feel close to her. She needed something to ground her.

"Please, Alison. I need this." She kissed her again. "We both do."

It was hard for Alison to say 'no' to the brunette when she begged. She gave in, letting Emily take control. She knew Emily was right. She craved her touch.

She hooked her leg over Emily's, getting lost in their encounter. She wasn't sure how much time passed. She was only aware of their rhythmic fluid motions. By now, Emily knew her body better than Alison knew it herself.

Emily was gentle. She took her time, letting Alison savor the moment. When she felt Alison tensing beneath her touch and felt her lips disconnect as she sucked in a gasp she pulled the blonde closer. Emily could smell the odor of her shampoo in Alison's hair, the smell of her body wash against Alison's skin.

She felt all of Alison's tension fading. Alison was surprised by the power of the ecstasy that hit her. She could feel herself losing control, and she gripped Emily for support, gasping her name.

"We're okay." Emily pressed a gentle kiss on her jaw near her ear.

Alison shuddered. She felt the way she'd felt the first time she'd been with her, by the fireplace. It seemed like so long ago.

She was loved. She was cherished.

She uttered Emily's name against her lips as she felt her body drifting in a sea of bliss. She let her desires flow through her. Her eyes found Emily's in the glow of the bedside lamp. She held her gaze as she felt their souls connect.

She felt an unexpected second wave roll over her in wild pulsing bursts. She nearly lost control. Emily held her as the blonde thrashed against her.

She held her long after she came down from it. She wrapped her arms around Alison, as if she was protecting her from the world.

Alison couldn't help but marvel at the fact that Emily's long tone swimmer's arms were strong enough to protect her, but they were also soft, delicate enough to gently cradle her daughter as she rocked her to sleep.

Their bodies stayed close, intertwined, tangled together. For the first time in a long time things felt like they were going to be okay. Alison felt herself relaxing. Emily had been right. She had needed that more than she realized.

She nuzzled up next to her, careful not to put too much pressure on the sore spots on her body. She nestled her head underneath Emily's chin and pressed a kiss against her collar bone. She felt Emily pulling her closer and she gladly closed what little space there was between them by curling her body, molding herself into the brunette. She felt Emily kiss the top of her head and she hummed happily as she closed her eyes.

"I love you, Em," she said quietly.

"I love you, too, Ali." She rested her chin against the top of Alison's head.

They laid together for several minutes, taking everything in. Emily drew shapes against Alison's bare back, her breath hot against the back of Alison's neck. Her hand slid against the blonde's tone sweaty torso. She closed her eyes and inhaled the scent of her.

The fatigue she had been fighting since she'd had Autumn seemed to be catching up with her all at once. She felt her muscles trembling. Her head was spinning. She let out a tired breath, and within minutes she had succumbed to her weariness. She finally felt relaxed and secure enough to go to sleep.

Alison felt the tension slide out of Emily's body and she realized she was asleep. She lifted her head just enough to get a glimpse of the look on Emily's face. She looked like she was finally at peace with all the chaos in her head. Alison let out a sigh of relief as she lowered her head and kissed the exposed flesh near her neck.

"We're okay," Alison whispered as she wrapped her arms around Emily and closed her eyes.

They stayed wrapped up in one another for about an hour, both of them sleeping peacefully.

Alison woke up a few minutes before the alarm Emily had set to nurse Autumn went off. They had shifted slightly in their sleep, but they were still holding each other.

Alison heard movement from Autumn's bassinet. She gently slid out of Emily's embrace. She slipped her nightshirt on and walked over to the little portable crib.

Autumn had her fingers in her mouth, chewing them. Alison had read that sometimes babies would suck on their fingers when they were hungry. Autumn pulled her fingers out of her mouth, leaving traces of drool against her hand.

She took a deep breath and then huffed it out, her lips quivering. Her piercing eyes found Alison's. She pinched her lips together in what looked like a smile. Her eyes were watering, but she wasn't crying. She was very calm for a newborn.

"Hey, little one." Alison whispered as she reached into the bassinet.

She very carefully lifted the infant up. She had reservations about whether or not she was holding her properly, but the nurses told her that if it felt natural then it was probably right. And it felt like the most natural thing in the world.

"Autumn Violet," she whispered, kissing her button nose. "Do you know how much we love you?"

Her little grey eyes flickered. Alison wanted to believe it was because she understood.

"Let's wait for mommy to wake up together." She walked back towards the bed.

She crawled in the bed next to Emily. She rocked the baby gently. Alison couldn't get over how much she looked like her mother. She was like a little clone.

Autumn continued to stare at her, her eyes full of wonder. She said so much even though she couldn't talk yet. The expressions she made told a story, and it was a story that Alison would never get tired of.

She had never quite loved anyone like she loved her sweet little baby girl.

o ~ O ~ o

Adjusting to their new schedule took a few days. It didn't help that every time Emily closed her eyes she saw flashes of her daughter being dangled over the edge of an eight story building and flashes of Courtney bleeding out in her arms.

The baby was the only one who slept soundly, all traces of what happened that night seemingly lost in her mind forever.

Alison's nightmares were about losing both of them. She dreamed about the house in Buffalo. She dreamed about Autumn being cut out of Emily's stomach, leaving the brunette to bleed out and the baby in extreme danger with Courtney.

The first few nights after Emily was released she stayed with her parents. Alison stayed, too. Every time Emily was up with the baby, Alison was up, too. She would sing to Autumn as she nursed, trying to create a calm environment for all of them.

After they were comfortable with her routine they took her back to Emily's apartment.

Their first night on their own Emily stayed up half the night with her, watching her breathe, making sure she was okay. And Alison watched Emily as she watched Autumn.

The next night they did the same thing. Emily couldn't stop looking at her. She knew she needed to sleep, but she couldn't take her eyes off of Autumn's chest, rhythmically rising and falling.

Alison tried to stay up with her again, but she could barely keep her eyes open. She nodded off to sleep, dreaming of good things for once.

She saw herself and Emily walking side by side with a toddler between them, each of them clutching one of her hands. Every other step they'd lift her off the ground and she'd kick her feet as she swung in the air and giggled.

The blonde got lost in the dream, sleeping through the night for the first time since Autumn's birth.

When she rolled over in the early hours of dawn she reached out to nuzzle up to Emily, only to find her side of the bed empty. She slapped her palm down against the mattress, which was cool to the touch, and opened her eyes.

"Em?" She yawned.

It took a few seconds for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. She sat up, looking around the empty bedroom.

"Emily?" She glanced towards the door, wondering if she'd gone to the bathroom.

She eagerly looked toward Autumn's bassinet, but the baby wasn't there. Sometimes when Emily couldn't get her to settle she would walk around with her.

She blinked and rubbed her sleep filled eyes as she pulled the covers off of her. She pressed her toes against the carpet and climbed out of bed. She tiptoed into the hallway.

"Emily?" She called again.

She checked the living room and the kitchen, both of which were empty. She walked towards the apartment door, sliding the security chain off its track and opening it to peer out into the hallway.

She was getting ready to expand her search, but then she heard a cry coming from the bedroom. Somehow, she'd missed Emily slipping back into the room with the baby.

She followed the sounds of Autumn's cries.

When she walked back into the bedroom she saw a silhouette in the window, rocking Autumn gently.

"Is she cranky?" Alison sauntered over towards her girlfriend.

But when she got closer she realized something was wrong. In the moonlight Emily's long dark hair looked blonde. She reached out to touch her shoulder, but the figure spun around. In the gleam of the light she saw a pair of familiar blue eyes.

The girl was cradling Autumn in the crook of her arm. Alison didn't see the crowbar in her hand. By the time she noticed it, it was too late.

In the moonlight she saw the weapon being raised, the blonde in the red coat swinging wildly at her, striking her in the head.

Alison swam in the nausea of unconsciousness for what felt like an eternity. She could hear Autumn crying, but she was paralyzed, just like she'd been on the roof of the parking deck.

The crying was bad enough, but the silence that filled the air after the crying stopped was agonizing. The silence was replaced by a loud buzzing noise as she slowly came to. She blinked. She was in the dark.

She tried to move, but she was in a small space. She felt like she was back in the morgue cabinet, but the air was musty and hot. It took her a few minutes to realize she was in the trash shoot in Emily's building. Someone had stuffed a bunch of clothing all around her. She was trapped.

She opened her mouth to scream, but someone had balled up a pair of socks and shoved them in her mouth, covering it with duct tape. The tape was partially occluding her nose. It was hard to breathe.

She started to hyperventilate. She screamed, but the socks muffled her cries. The dizziness became overwhelming. She knew she was going to pass out again.

But just as she was losing consciousness she felt something shuffle around her. The clothing pile dropped, taking her with it.

The fall was endless. She tried to wiggle free, but she couldn't. All she could do was tumble through the darkness. She never hit the bottom. Instead, she fell into a dark endless pit, unable to scream for help.

When she finally hit the bottom she hit it with a hard thud. She glanced around, expecting to be in a dumpster. But she was in Emily's bed.

She shot up in bed, panting, grasping her sweat-soaked pajamas near her chest. She whipped her head over and saw Emily sleeping peacefully next to her. She sucked in a large gasp of air, which startled Emily awake.

Emily blinked, reaching up to wipe the sleep from her eyes. She quickly shot up, reaching for the bedside lamp.

"Ali, what is it? What's wrong?" Emily crawled towards her, gently grasping her cheek. She could feel the blonde trembling.

"Autumn…" Alison frantically kicked the covers off. "Where is she?"

"She's right here." Emily turned towards the bassinet on her side of the bed. "I just got her to sleep…" Emily leaned over the bassinet, "Oh."

Alison couldn't tell from her inflection if it was a good 'oh' or a bad 'oh' and she couldn't see her face to read it. She panicked.

"What? What's wrong?"

Emily saw her baby girl staring up at her, being as quiet as a mouse. Her lips twisted like she was trying to smile.

"Someone is being a stubborn little bean." Emily smiled, reaching for her daughter. She touched her belly. "Hi, baby."

When she heard her mom's voice the grin on her face tightened and she wiggled around, trying to break free of her swaddle.

"Are you hungry again already?"

Emily picked her up and laid back in bed with her. Alison sidled up next to Emily, peering down at the baby, making sure she was really okay. She put her palm against Autumn's tummy.

Alison didn't realize she was still shaking from the dream, but Emily saw her trembling fingers. She was still breathing heavy, too.

Autumn started to whimper.

"I don't think she likes that you're upset." Emily touched Alison's hand.

"Aw, it's okay." Alison touched the baby's cheek with her index finger. "I'm okay, baby girl."

"Are you?" Emily looked at her incredulously. "You're covered in sweat." She frowned, reaching out with her free hand to swipe some perspiration away from her cheek. "Did you have another nightmare?"

Emily was well aware of what haunted Alison's dreams, because she had the same nightmares. She'd also been next to her when she jolted awake kicking and screaming.

"She came after us again." Alison could still feel her heart pulsing in her chest. "She locked me in the trash shoot and took her."

"She can't hurt us anymore." Emily cupped her neck. She could feel her pulse racing.

"Yeah, that's what Doctor Sullivan says," Alison said.

"How has it been going with Dr. Sullivan?" Emily asked.

Emily had suggested that they both get counseling after everything they'd been through. Alison had balked at it at first. The thought of telling a complete stranger her inner-most insecurities, desires, and vulnerabilities terrified her.

In the end she'd said yes because she wanted Autumn to have stability, and that meant stable parents.

"She's a lot more helpful than I thought she'd be." Granted, she'd only been to two sessions, but she felt like it was helping.

"I always imagined I'd end up in therapy because of her, but I didn't know I'd be dragging you with me." Emily straightened Autumn's blanket.

She averted Alison's gaze, a downtrodden look on her face.

"I know that look." Alison gently touched her hand. "Don't blame yourself. Trust me, I've needed therapy for a long time. I was fucked up way before all this happened." She caressed Emily's arm. "How did your session go?"

"I definitely think it was long overdue for me too. I had a lot I was holding in that I didn't realize. Not just everything that happened with Courtney. All the stuff with my parents…"

"I thought you were doing okay now," Alison said.

"We are." Emily rubbed her fingertip against her daughter's cheek. She couldn't imagine getting through her pregnancy without her mom and dad. "But that doesn't mean I didn't still have damage. I hid who I was from them for so long. It's like a piece of me was missing. I had it the whole time, but I couldn't put the puzzle together." She looked down at Autumn. "I don't ever want her to feel like she can't come to me about something. I just want to do right by her."

Alison smiled.

"You're already an amazing mom."

"That still feels so weird to say." Emily laughed. It still felt surreal that she had a child.

"Well, you better get used to it, unless you want her to call you Emily."

"My mother would have a heart attack. A child calling her mother by her first name? Sacrilegious." Emily feigned a horrified gasp.

Autumn cooed quietly. They both looked down at her.

"I still can't believe she's here." Alison touched Autumn's cheek.

"I can't believe how much I love her." She looked at her child, the baby she'd nourished and carried for what felt like an eternity.

The way that Emily looked at Autumn set Alison's heart aflame, every part of her jazzing with an energy that she'd learned was true love.

They had been together for less than a year, though it felt like much longer. They were still young. They knew it was rare that high school relationships lasted. Then again, most high school relationships didn't have the connection and the bond that they had.

Alison hadn't believed in love before Emily. The feelings she felt had terrified her at first. But she couldn't deny the way Emily made her feel. She looked at the brunette and she knew she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her.

"I can't believe how much I love you both." Alison slid her palm down against Emily's arm and splayed her fingers out to link them into Emily's fingers.

Emily shifted Autumn in her arms and lifted Alison's hand up to her lips, kissing her knuckles.

"I couldn't have done this without you, Ali."

Alison leaned forward to capture her lips. As their mouths gently moved together Alison felt something tugging on her nightgown. When she looked down she saw Autumn gripping the thin material, staring at it. She looked up at Alison.

Emily glanced at her daughter and laughed.

"It seems as if though the princess is requesting my attention." Alison smiled.

She made a silly face at Autumn and the infant's mouth fell open in a grin. At least, they called it a grin even if most people thought it was gas.

"Stealing my thunder already?" Emily pinched Autumn's cheek. "I see how it is."

Emily's phone buzzed from her nightstand. They glanced at one another for a brief second before they remembered they didn't have anything to fear anymore. They still jumped every time one of them got a text message. It was something else they were working through in therapy.

Emily looked at the message. It was from her father.

Where is my grandbaby?

It was followed by a bunch of random emojis. A grinning baby with one tooth. A moon with a face. A ladybug. Three different color hearts and a football. The last emoji was a chicken wing, which she was pretty sure he hit by accident.

Emily laughed.

"I don't think he's ever sent me a text." Much less a text with emojis. "He must really want to see her."

"Can you blame him?" Alison playfully booped the baby's nose. "She's so beautiful." She smiled. "Jason is back from New York. He wants to meet her, too."

He'd been on a boys trip for the past two weeks. He'd called to check in on them, but he still hadn't met Autumn yet.

"Speaking of New York…" Emily faced Alison curiously. "We haven't had a chance to talk about NYU."

"Em…don't." Alison grimaced and turned away.

Alison shut down every time Emily tried to talk to her about New York. She was torn between her future and her present. Emily wasn't ready to leave Rosewood yet, but she refused to let Alison give up on her dream.

Emily's phone buzzed again. Another text from her dad.

Bring the child to me or I'll come there and embarrass you in front of all your neighbors. I will wear the dorkiest dad clothes I can find and show pictures of you dressed up like a pumpkin.

Alison peered at the phone, reading the message. She snorted.

"He's sending terroristic threats. We should probably go negotiate a peace treaty with him." Alison reached for her phone, glancing at Jason's message from the previous day.

She'd sent him a picture of Autumn in a little princess onesie he'd bought for the baby shower. He'd texted her,

When do I get to meet the royal highness?

She hadn't gotten back to him yet, because she hadn't seen the text until late that night.

She dragged her finger across the screen, swiping a reply,

Let's do breakfast.

She didn't expect him to be up, but he replied a few seconds later.

I'll make omelets and frittatas.

Alison scoffed at the suggestion.

You can't even make frozen waffles without setting the house on fire.

Fine. I'll pass the café's omelets and frittatas off as my own.

"Do you think your parents would mind if my brother brought us some breakfast at your place so he can meet Autumn?" Alison looked up from her phone.

Emily was smothering Autumn in kisses. It made Alison feel warm and tingly.

"He doesn't have to please the Fields Mafia Gods with a token of his appreciation. He can just come over," she said with a shrug. "Besides, if my mom finds out she has guests coming she'll be insulted if she doesn't get to cook for them."

Alison nodded and sent her brother a reply,

We're going to Emily's parents' place. I'll text you when we get there. Come be a family with us.

You sure they have room for my big dumb head?

Your big dumb head better be there.

Alison laughed.

"We're officially booked this morning." Alison showed Emily the text.

"How does this child already have her own entourage?" Emily asked.

"Because she was born to be a star." Alison moved down to snuggle Autumn. "Isn't that right?" She cooed.

Autumn was used to the affection. Everyone who met her fell in love with her. She was getting a lot of socialization for a newborn. She was happy with pretty much everyone she met. She wasn't a fussy baby at all. Emily thought it had to do with the way Alison used to sing to her and talk to her in the womb.

Emily fed Autumn while Alison got up to take a shower. She had been in the midst of washing her hair when Emily climbed in and surprised her. The shower was tiny, but that just meant they were closer together.

"Autumn fell asleep like four sucks in. We probably have fifteen minutes before she..."

Alison shut her up with a bruising kiss. She craved Emily's skin against hers. It felt unbelievably good. The hot water drizzled down their naked bodies. They barely had any time to themselves, which was fine with them because they both loved Autumn so much, but they still had needs. Emily's doctor had recommended they wait another few weeks before doing anything physical, but there were other things they could do that made them feel just as close.

Emily pressed Alison against the back of the shower wall and got completely lost in her. Alison concentrated on Emily's upper body since she couldn't touch her below the waist yet. She kissed and caressed and gently fondled Emily's upper body.

Their fifteen minutes went by very quickly. They were just finishing up when they heard Autumn crying over the baby monitor. Emily had dragged it into the bathroom with her.

Emily lowered her head with a laugh,

"Right on time."

She pushed her forehead against Alison's. The blonde was still trembling. Emily was by far the best lover she'd ever had, and she knew it. She was so cocky about it.

After their quickie in the shower Alison got dressed while Emily finished feeding Autumn. Once they were ready they got Autumn situated in her car seat and buckled her safely in Alison's car.

When they got to Emily's house her dad had barely let her come through the door before he demanded to see his granddaughter. He'd unhooked her from her car seat and lifted her up, making goofy noises that he'd made when Emily was a baby.

"Hello bright eyes." Wayne kissed her on the forehead.

"Hello to you too, dad." Emily deadpanned.

He laughed and pulled her in for a hug, kissing her forehead, too.

"There. Now you're even." He winked. He sat down in his chair with his grandbaby and babbled in baby talk to her.

Emily laughed as she plopped down on the couch next to her mother and Alison.

"How has everything been going?" Her mom asked. "Is she sleeping okay? Is she nursing?"

"She is. She's a good little peanut." She leaned over the arm of her dad's chair and gripped Autumn's sock and played with her toes.

"You're alternating which breast you use between feedings, right?" Her mom questioned.

Emily glanced at her mother in disbelief. Then she looked at Alison, who had an amused look on her face. Her mom had come a long way. She never would have expected Pam "Tightwad" Fields to freely talk about her boobs in front of her girlfriend.

"Yes. Everything is fine." Her cheeks flushed.

"I bought some nipple cream I want you to try…"

"Mom!" Emily tried to cut her off.

Alison snickered, stifling the wheezing laugh caught in her throat.

"What?" Pam asked innocently. "There is nothing to feel awkward about. We're all family here. I'm sure Alison understands." She saw Emily's eyes dart to her father and she added, "…and your father went through it with me when I had you…"

"It's true. Her nipples were dry and cracked." Wayne shot Pam a grin, partially teasing to further embarrass his daughter.

"Oh my God." Emily almost gagged. "It's a good thing I'm already in therapy." She tried to shake the image out of her mind.

After Pam finished her coffee she went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Wayne had to give his grandbaby back to his baby so he could take a shower.

"Jason should be here in a few minutes." Alison looked at the clock on her phone.

"If your brother mentions my breasts I'm going to use them to smother him." Emily threatened.

"No. He'd like that. Don't give him the satisfaction." Alison rolled her eyes.

She had expected stupid jokes and oafish dorky comments, but when Jason walked into the living room a few minutes later and saw Autumn in Emily's arms he was speechless.

"You want to hold her?" Emily questioned.

She was rarely ready to pass her baby off to other people, but she had been holding her bladder for almost half an hour and it felt like it was about to burst.

Jason carefully took the infant into his large burly arms. He felt like a giant.

"She's adorable." He smiled down at her. Autumn tried to mirror his smile back at him, but it came out as a crooked smirk.

"I think so, too, but I'm biased." Emily pushed herself up off of the couch. "I'll give you guys a few minutes." Her fingertips grazed Alison's knuckles as she walked away.

"She's so tiny." Jason put his index finger against her hand. She curled her fingers around his. He looked like he was going to melt into the floor. "You were this little when mom and dad brought you home from the hospital."

Alison suddenly perked up. She'd never heard anything about her birth. Her parents had been so flighty and detached when she was growing up. The only proof she had of her childhood with them was the fake family portraits they did every year to show their friends how "perfect" they were. The pictures didn't show that they were gone half the year or that they both had tempers and drinking problems.

"Do you remember it?" Alison asked curiously.

"What?"

"When I was born."

"I do." He nodded. "I was a jealous little fucker…"

"Language." Alison frowned at Jason.

"All she knows right now is boobs…" Of course he would mention boobs. She was just glad that Emily wasn't in the room to hear it, "…and sleep." He added. "I think we're okay." He laughed. "I was jealous at first." He clarified. "When mom got pregnant I was mad. I didn't like the idea of another kid in the house. But when they brought you home from the hospital I remember sitting on the couch, holding you. You were the most fragile thing they had ever let me touch."

"I'm surprised you didn't break me." Alison bumped his shoulder, but not too hard, because she didn't want him to jostle Autumn.

"You're so hard-headed. Even if I dropped you you would have been fine." He rolled his eyes. She popped him on the back of the head and he grinned at her. He gently rocked Autumn. "For real though, you were really small. I snuck into your room that night and watched you sleep in your crib. I remember thinking that it was my job to protect you." He glanced up at his sister. "I know I was kind of lousy at it…"

She saw the anguish in his eyes. He'd never forgive himself for bringing Darren and Ian into their lives.

"We've had this conversation." She touched his arm. "You were a kid, too."

"Yeah, well, it's about half past time that I grew up," he said, peering up at his sister. "I want you to know I'm making some changes in my life. I'm getting serious about school again. I'm going back to finish my degree, but I'm going to do it locally, so I don't have the urge to do stupid frat shit anymore."

Going to school locally would be good for Jason. Alison had considered it before she got into NYU.

She froze, a light bulb switching on in her brain.

"Jason, you're a genius!" She exclaimed.

"Why? What did I do?" He looked at her in confusion.

"I know exactly what I can do so I can go to school and be there for Autumn." She rubbed the baby's arm.

"You're really going all in on this." Though he understood, looking down at the baby in his arms. He understood why Alison loved her. But having kids came with a lot of sacrifices. He'd asked her more than once, but he needed to be sure, "Are you sure you're ready to do this?"

Alison didn't even hesitate in her response,

"I was ready before I'd even met her." Her hand drifted away from Autumn's arm and against her tiny tummy.

"We turned out pretty okay for two bratty little shits." He smiled at his sister.

"LANGUAGE," Alison said, a little more firmly, drawing the word out. She looked down at Autumn, "Don't you listen to your Uncle Jason."

Jason smiled widely, his grin reaching ear to ear.

"Uncle Jason kind of has a ring to it." He looked up at his sister. "Does that mean you're officially…"

"Yeah, my name is on her birth certificate."

Alison still couldn't believe it. She'd spoken with Emily about it, but actually seeing her name next to Emily's was life changing.

It also gave her a sense of appreciation for gay couples, because two women with their names on a birth certificate was unheard of in previous eras. But the world was changing. And Alison and Emily were both very glad that their daughter got to experience a world where love won.

"Wow." Jason pressed his lips together, like he was trying to piece together a puzzle in his mind. "Do mom and dad know?"

"I don't care what mom and dad think. I never see them anyway. They're too busy with their affairs."

"Look at you. All grown up. Feels like just yesterday you were stealing my boxers and putting them on while screaming that you were a pro-wrestler and then fighting mom's good throw pillows."

It was a phase Alison wasn't proud of, and she hated that Jason remembered it.

"Shh, not even Emily knows about that." Alison smacked his arm.

"She does now." Emily's voice startled Alison. "And she wants to know more."

When Alison looked up she saw Emily leaning against the foyer frame with a huge smirk on her face. She was trying to picture her Uptown Girl sporting boxers and wrestling with fluffy pink pillows.

"He's delusional from joy. He doesn't know what he's talking about." Alison glared at him, warning him not to tell Emily about the fact that she wrestled the pillows in his boxers and nothing else. She went full sumo on them.

Emily shot her a smirk, letting her know that she wasn't buying it, and that they would most definitely be talking about it in detail at some point.

"How do you like your coffee, Jason?" Emily questioned.

"I'll drink whatever." He shrugged.

"You could bring him mud and he'd ingest it. He's a living breathing garbage disposal." Alison gave him a hard time.

"One mud slurpee coming right up." Emily walked towards the kitchen.

Autumn smacked her lips together and made a quiet grunting noise.

"She's amazing, Ali." Jason sighed, his eyes drifting down to the baby again.

"I know, right? She didn't even have to ask me what I like because she just knows me." Alison straightened up on the sofa, holding her chin up with a cocky smile on her face.

"No, not Emily. I mean, yeah, she's amazing, too. But…this baby…she's just…" He stuttered trying to find the right words, "…I thought you were crazy for wanting this, but I get it. And I promise I won't ever let anything happen to her. I mean it. If you ever need anything I'm there."

Alison smiled at him, taking a moment to appreciate that not all of her family members were garbage humans.

She leaned over and wrapped her arms around Jason's neck. When she let him go he cocked an eyebrow at her.

"What was that for?"

"I love you, you big stupid oaf. Just deal with it."

Jason chuckled and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her in for a hug. She leaned in to him and looked down at Autumn.

She finally understood what family meant.

o ~ O ~ o

Alison couldn't stop smiling as she laid in bed with Emily that night. She felt like she had everything figured out. She watched as Emily changed Autumn into her pajamas. She had her on the small changing table her dad had crafted for her.

Emily playfully leaned in and blew raspberries against her bare belly. Then she nuzzled up to her, moving her face close to Autumn's face with a smile, her face hovering over the infant's. Autumn reached up with her uncoordinated fingers and tried to stroke Emily's cheek. It was a learned behavior, but she still didn't quite have the hang of it.

Watching the way Emily was with the baby was one of the most attractive things in the world. There was nothing sexier to Alison than a good mother. And Emily exceeded those expectations.

After Emily changed Autumn she settled into the bed to nurse her.

Alison watched as Emily lifted her shirt and guided Autumn to find her breast. Autumn's mouth naturally latched on. She curled her fingers against Emily's skin and relaxed in her arms. She looked up at Emily, their eyes connecting their souls.

Seeing them interact fascinated Alison. The love radiating between them was palpable. Alison felt grateful to be a part of it. It gave her a sense of peace. It made her see Emily in an entirely different light.

"What?" Emily noticed her staring.

"It's probably going to sound weird, but I really like watching you breastfeed her." She felt her cheeks get hot, though she wasn't sure why. "It's hard to explain."

"You've seen me push a child out of my vagina. You can tell me anything, Ali." Emily laughed.

"It's just…knowing that she's getting everything she needs and that you're taking care of her in every way, nurturing her, nourishing her," she said with a smile, "I know she's safe. You provide for her. It makes me love you more than I thought possible."

Now it was Emily's cheeks flushing. She reached for Alison's hand.

"You know, I thought this was going to be weird after she was born. I thought things would change between us, and I was scared of those changes." Emily squeezed Alison's fingers. "But these are the best kinds of changes. These conversations. These moments…" Her eyes brightened in elation, "We're a family." She still couldn't believe it.

They'd gone from high school kids to mothers in a matter of months. The journey had been terrifying for a lot of reasons, but she always knew that they would get through it, because they had each other.

"These are the things that are important to me." Alison reached out and touched Autumn's head. The baby broke her gaze away from Emily's chest and peered at Alison. "I love her so much. I know I've said that a million times, but I do. And I want to be there for her…"

"You are." Emily reminded her.

"I've been thinking about something, and it affects both of us…" She paused and remembered they weren't just a duo anymore, "All three of us." She corrected herself. She knew that Emily would resist at first, but she was certain she could make the brunette see it her way. "Don't say no until you've heard my proposal…"

"If you propose to me while I have my tit in our child's mouth I will hit you over the head with my desk lamp." Emily eyed the lamp beside their bed.

Alison giggled. The idea of a marriage proposal excited her.

"Not that kind of proposal." She chuckled.

Not yet. But eventually…

"When you asked me about NYU this morning I shut down." She saw Emily flinch. The idea of her going away wasn't any easier for Emily than it was for Alison. "I think I've decided to stay in Rosewood…"

"Ali…" Emily's tone wavered.

"Just hear me out. I was thinking that maybe I could stay here for a year and go to Hollis."

"We've talked about this. You're not giving up NYU for us." It was an argument that Alison was prepared for.

"I wouldn't be giving it up. I'd just be postponing it." She explained. "I need to get my core classes out of the way anyway. I can enroll in Hollis and then transfer to NYU later."

"Haven't you already missed the deadline for that?" Emily cocked her head in confusion.

"No. I got into Hollis already."

"When? You didn't tell me."

"I didn't tell you about NYU either." She thought she was being so smart, hiding her future from Emily. It had seemed logical at the time. "It was around the same time. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. But now I know." She caressed Autumn's head. "I don't want to miss one minute. I want to be close for her first year. And if we stay I thought…you can keep working and we'll still be close to your parents while we figure this out."

She waited on Emily to rebuff her ideas, but instead she pursed her lips in thought, drifting off to a land of ideas.

"My lease here is only for a year." Emily mulled it over. "By the end of next summer maybe I'll have more of a plan."

"Exactly." Alison nodded in encouragement. "And we'll both be here, and so will your parents. If you felt like enrolling in community college just to explore ideas we could make it work."

"We'd have a support system here. Hanna will be here at Hollis, too," Emily was thinking out loud.

"Hanna is actually the one who gave me the idea. She was talking about taking her core classes here. Caleb is going to technical school and she wants to stay close to him until he gets his Vocational Degree." Alison tried to sell her on the idea. "We'd have them to fall back on if we need help."

"That's true. And Toby is here, too. And Aria got that internship with the Art Photographer in town. And Mike still has his senior year…" She imagined what it might look like if she asked Mike Montgomery to babysit. "Oh, God, he's going to teach her how to play poker before she turns two or cover her in fake tattoos." Emily shook her head with a laugh.

"I am so glad she has so many people looking out for her already." Alison kissed Autumn's head.

Autumn liked being connected to both of them when she nursed.

"Speaking of…there is one more person we'll be adding to the list tomorrow…"

Alison had been so caught up in her family unit that she'd forgotten that there was a part of their family they were still figuring out.

Isaac was still in town, and Emily was planning on meeting him at her parents' house in the morning.

"I'm surprised he's still here. I thought he'd be long gone by now." It came out bitchier than she meant for it to, so she shot Emily an apologetic look.

"I know you're angry at Courtney, but please don't take it out on him." Emily glared at her.

"I didn't mean to." Alison put her hands in her lap, like a child who had been scolded in church. "I don't know where that came from. Isaac is great. He really is."

She respected the hell out of him for holding it together as well as he was.

He had flown out the day after the shooting. He still hadn't visited them yet. He had wanted to give them time to settle into their routine with the baby. He didn't want to overstep.

He'd also been busy with the police and lawyers and a bunch of other things because his parents were too doped up on anti-depressants to do anything. He'd ironically stepped up to parent his parents. He'd fathered a child that he wasn't technically a parent to, but he'd ended up with two full grown adults who were basically his children.

"I think meeting Autumn will be good for him," Emily looked down to make sure Autumn was still alert and not falling asleep.

She'd been getting into a habit of falling asleep halfway through a full feeding, and Emily was trying to break that habit. Her bright grey eyes looked like a purplish blue in the new translucent bulbs in the fan above their bed. Her eyes reflected back at her mother as she suckled.

"Meeting Autumn is good for everyone." Alison smiled. It was impossible to be in a bad mood around the sweet little girl. Alison's smile slowly faded as she thought of the hell that Isaac was going through. "How is he doing?"

"I don't know. He sounds weird on the phone. I used to be able to read him like a book, but things are just so different now." Emily leaned back with a sigh.

She felt Autumn's fingertips curl against the soft skin of her breast, her fingernails gently tickling her.

"I hope you're not weirded out that I asked you to give us a little bit of breathing room." Emily slowly and softly cut her eyes at Alison. "I just don't want to overwhelm him…not with everything going on."

Alison had barely left Emily's side since she gave birth, but Emily wanted to meet up with Isaac alone to see how he was doing. She thought he'd be more truthful about what he was going through if it was just her and Autumn.

"I don't want you to feel left out…" Emily faced her.

"Em, it's okay." Alison reached for her hand, linking their fingers. "I understand." She pressed her lips together. "We're not the only ones who suffered at her hands."

It was still hard for them to say Courtney's name. It felt like giving her too much power.

"What we went through was terrible." Emily agreed. "But Isaac dealt with her his entire life. She hurt him, too. But they were still family, and right now his entire family is in ruins. And I want him to know that they're not his only family."

It was strange, trying to find their footing after everything they'd gone through.

Emily wasn't sure what Isaac's mood was going to be like, but even with her uncertainty she had an obligation to be there, as his friend.

So that's what she did.

The next day she waited for him at her parents' place. She thought a lot about family as she watched her mom and dad getting ready to leave for work. She'd wanted to meet him at their house because she was worried that the apartment would feel too cramped. She didn't want him to feel like he was suffocating.

The sound of the doorbell made her stomach turn in on itself. The last time he'd been in her house they'd been airing out all of her lies. Now, he was going to get the full scope of the story.

She carried Autumn towards the front door. She stopped before she went to open it. She took a deep calming breath.

She opened the door.

His eyes met hers first.

"Hey, Em." He had a soft smile on his face. She could tell it was covering a world of pain.

"Isaac," she replied, unconsciously shifting Autumn in her arms.

Before Emily could invite him in his eyes drifted to the little girl in her arms. He studied her face in curiosity. The pictures he had seen hadn't captured her plump lips, her button nose, or the vibrant life in her wonderfully unique eyes.

He had expected a brown-eyed baby because of her genes, but he hadn't factored in his mixed heritage. She'd gotten his grandfather's eyes….the grandfather who defied everything for love. Aside from that he thought Autumn got all of Emily's best qualities and features.

He could see himself in her facial expressions. It was wild.

It was overwhelming to see himself in Autumn's face. He had a child in the world. And she was the luckiest little girl in the world because of who her mommies were. And she had him, too, whatever they decided they wanted him to be.

The more he stared at her the more he thought about everything his sister had done to hurt her. He thought about how angry he was at Courtney. What had she put the infant through? What would she have done to her? How could she even think about hurting an innocent child?

The thought of anything happening to Autumn made him feel physically ill. He felt his stomach clutching, but he bit back his nausea. He'd puked the last time he was in Emily's house. He wasn't about to do it again.

Courtney had been a danger to others his whole life. He felt a semblance of responsibility for everything she'd done. He had gone years trying to keep her happy. He'd walked on eggshells his entire life. He had always tried to protect the world from her. He thought he'd been his sister's keeper, but the truth was he was her accomplice. He'd just never known it.

He felt like collapsing into a heap on the floor in the doorway, but when he looked at Autumn he only saw the good in the world…the good in his family.

Emily led him inside and they sat down on the couch. Isaac still couldn't believe he was looking at his baby. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Emily thought it was amusing, because it was the first time they'd been in a room together where she hadn't been his main focus.

Her daughter captivated everyone.

"Can…" He glanced up at Emily, hesitating, like he was trying to figure out if he was crossing a line, "…can I hold her?"

Emily slowly passed the baby over to him. He awkwardly moved his arms around, trying to find the most comfortable position for Autumn. He cradled her close, marveling at feeling her moving in his arms. He thought about the fact that Emily had carried Autumn inside of her. She had felt every movement. It must have felt so strange, yet he couldn't help but imagine that feeling a baby moving had to be incredible.

His eyes met hers and he couldn't help but smile. The rest of the world could be burning down around them but all he would be able to see would be the beautiful bright-eyed child in his arms.

"Hey, Autumn," he said quietly, a gentle smile on his face.

Like everyone who had met her before him he was convinced that the world was better because she was in it. Emily's daughter was a perfect embodiment of her. She was an angel. Not a Hell's Angel, but an actual angel.

---

A/N: Nearing the end of this story is making me feel lots of feelings. I'm still deciding on the pacing and whether the final chapter flows the way I want it to. But we're down to the wire with just one (potentially two) chapters left, plus an epilogue.

While I sit here in my feelings I'm reminiscing over what it felt like to write these few final chapters. Feeling nostalgic about this chapter already. Anyone have any favorite parts? Do you love the tender Emison moments? Adore Mommy Ali? Enjoy the girls and their camaraderie (look at Hanna and Alison being friends!)? Love Toby being a dork? What about Grandmama and Granddaddy Fields sharing the love? Mad about the fake out nightmare? Did you get sentimental over the Alison/Jason scene? Do you feel for Isaac? Distract me. I'm sad it's almost over. But Pam talking about Emily's nipples makes me cackle every time.

As always, expect a final twist that's probably going to either blow your mind or make you want to blow my head off. Or both.