"Need some company?"
Merida flung the half-eaten fruit to the floor, where it rolled just close enough to Anna's toes for her to feel its sticky dampness. Almost as quickly, Merida took her hat and tossed it towards the left handed corner of the ceiling, her aim apparently quite precise as it remained there as though an invisible hat rack was waiting for it. It didn't take Anna long to figure out that there must've been a hidden security camera there, meaning that Merida wanted this meeting to be kept private.
"How...how did you get in here?" Anna was still trying to fully process what was happening.
The uninvited guest leaned back against the wall, folding her arms like a high school bully with the intention of stealing lunch money in some 80s teen comedy.
"I have me ways of opening doors around here. One of me many hidden talents, ye might say."
"So you stole the keys?" Anna's mind was in a race against itself trying to stall for time in case this woman had in fact come here to kill her.
"Ye know, I ain't sure if you are playing daft, or if ye really are that thick." She reached into her shoulder pocket to pull out a cigarette, which she placed in her mouth despite it not being lit. "Surely by now ye've heard of who me father is?"
"I'm not sure if having a rich relative really helps you in a place like this. I mean, Elsa would never..."
"...never what? Let a bad girl like me into other girls' bedrooms? No, I suppose she is a joyless bitch like that, ain't she? Of course, lucky for me, she's not really in charge around here."
"That's crazy talk!" Anna only now remembered she was naked, and quickly snatched the blanket from the floor to shield what little dignity she had. "Your father might have a heavy financial influence over things, but it's not like he's the actual warden."
Merida snickered in a way which made Anna's stomach jump.
"Ya don't have a clue just how the system works for us, do ye?"
"Ummmmm...well, as prisoners, I'm pretty sure we're widely viewed as being at the very bottom of society. Although the homeless population might beg to differ." Anna's heart was once again beating as though it were a drum at a jazz concert, but she had to keep Merida talking until an officer or someone arrived to remedy the situation.
"Fine, I'll use real simple words for yer real simple mind." She removed the cigarettes' from her mouth and flung it aside before pulling another one out. "One of the boys in blue let me in. He's on me father's payroll."
"Oh." What Merida was implying was finally starting to sink in, which made her stomach switch from merely jumping to turning somersaults. "So you're saying your father...owns some of the guards here?"
"Well, I'd say it's more than a fair number of them, although I've never bothered counting to tell ya the truth." Her eyes gleamed. "They make sure I get...certain privileges'."
"Like looking the other way while you murder me?"
Merida repeated her laugh, appearing to nearly swallow her smoke in the process.
"Now what makes ya think I want to kill you? Is it because I made certain that you'd end up in the hole so you and I could finally have some alone time?"
"I don't follow..."
"Why do you think I gave you that pathetic excuse of a shiv?" She spat the cigarette out and immediately replaced it with another. "I knew Elsa would eventually have to do a little shakedown, and that she wouldn't dare risk looking to father as though she was harder on me than on the other kids on the playground. Of course I imagine she wasn't counting on me invading yer personal space when she sent your sorry little bum here."
"And there I was thinking you gave me that weapon as a kind gesture." Although it now made sense why Merida had given her such a "gift," she still felt dumb about the motive not dawning on her before now. "So you have me where you want me, and yet you still haven't said why..."
"Let's just say...I wish to recruit ya for a special cause."
"Uh-huh. Let me guess, you're plotting an escape attempt? Why not just have your father have the gates opened for you? Sounds like he could arrange it."
"Me father is a law-abiding model citizen, a source of humanitarian inspiration fer the entire kingdom." She placed her hand over her heart with phony patriotism. "He can't go around taking part in such illegal activities, not even for his own flesh and blood." She threw yet another cigarette down. "Say, do ya mind if I hit the can? I'm afraid I've let meself come close to bursting."
"Ummmm...the bucket is already pretty full..."
"Thanks for yer hospitality." Merida was already pulling her pants down and squatting over it, seeming perfectly nonchalant about openly urinating right in front of her. Anna supposed she should've adjusted to this aspect of prison life after how many times she had watched Rapunzel use to the toilet, but there was something about this that felt like a violation, like it was something she shouldn't be witnessing.
"So...you've guessed what I want." The trickling sound echoed around the cell. "Now I need to know if ya have any interest."
"Interest for what? You haven't even told me why you need me."
"I view ye as a kindred spirit. Yer a red-haired lifer, I'm a red-haired lifer. We're practically sisters. I mean, c'mon, lass, do you really want to gasp yer last in this shithole?"
"Beats being frozen to death by Elsa while trying to get out of the slammer. Or did she not give you the guided tour when you first got here?"
Merida slyly smiled.
"Since ya brought him up, how much do ya know about me old man?"
"I'm sorry?"
Merida sat down on the wooden bucket, presumably not concerned about getting splinters on her butt.
"Surely you heard the thrilling tale about how he lost his leg?"
"Should I have?"
"Oh, it's a long one, but I'll give ya the cliff notes version while still tryin' to do it justice." She cleared her throat. "One day, me father was out on a hunt. He was all alone in the great dark woods, with nothin' but his musket on him. That was when he heard it. A great, terrible growl."
She stretched her arms out, mocking the gestures of someone telling a ghost story by a campfire.
"Out of nowhere, the biggest bear any mortal man has ever laid their eyes upon emerged. Me father held up his musket, ready to fire. But the beast was too strong, too fast. Like a supernatural being from the lowest depths of Hell, it tore at me father, ripping his leg clean off before going off on his own to feast upon his bloody catch."
Anna blinked.
"I'm sorry for your father's hunting accident."
"Oh yeah. But it's a story he never tires of telling to anyone who will listen. He even had a children's book published about it. Pictures and everything. Lovely work, actually. Problem is...me father doesn't hunt. He does love drinking, though."
"Maybe it's the cabin fever that's fogging up my brain, but I'm not sure where you're going with this."
"Let me try tellin' ya another tale then." At last she stood from the bucket and pulled her pants up (leaving behind a regrettably pungent aftermath). "Once upon a time, me father got drunk off his arse. He stumbled around until he waddled blindly into an animal trap, which injured his leg so badly it had to be surgically removed. Now, which version do ya think is true?"
"The second one, I guess?" It made sense given everything Anna had heard about Fergus's obsession with his masculine reputation that he would turn a potentially humiliating incident into one he could spin into heroic publicity. "But what does that have to do with any of this?"
"Doesn't it remind ya of another familiar yarn?" She returned to the peculiar process of placing dry cigarettes' between her teeth. "Let me offer ye a quick refresher: there once was a poor, innocent lass named Blondie who was locked away in a terrible, dark prison. Desperate for her freedom, she sought to escape, only for the terrible Elsa the Wicked Warden to murder her as punishment for daring to do such a thing."
"Yeah, but...that's what happened. Isn't it?"
"Is it?" Merida's eyes glinted. "Tell me, were you there when Elsa froze that girl into a block of ice?"
"Well...no, but..." Anna felt like she was starting to get dizzy.
"And has Elsa put an end to any of the other prisoners here?"
"That's because of Blondie. She serves as a warning of what will happen if anyone else makes her mistake."
"Exactly. Little Blondie has become the moral of a tragic tale. One which keeps all of the little girls here up at night fearful for their wee little lives. And one which, like me father's tale of a bear eating one of his limbs, isn't true."
By this point, Anna had become completely flustered. Maybe Merida really was as crazy as everyone said she was, because she wasn't making any sense here.
"So what are you saying? That Elsa didn't kill her?"
"I'll put it this way. I don't think she'd ever do it again."
She reached into her pocket and tossed Anna a chocolate bar.
"Thought you might like a break from nutraloaf. I'll be seeing you when you get out of here. I'm sure we'll have a lot to talk about."
"So that was it? You go to the effort to have some alone time with me just to tell me you don't believe the story of Blondie?"
"What can I say? Sometimes I get distracted when I start yammering." She turned to leave before stopping herself.
"Oh, wait, there was one other reason I wanted you here. How could I be so silly? I didn't want anyone else within ear range when I said this, but could you do me a favor?"
"Depends on what it is."
"Tell yer sister I said hi."