"Remy. Étienne. LeBeau!"
Oh, shit, wha'd I do now?
Remy sat up, shocked into alertness. He realized he must have fallen back to sleep. His room was dark now, save for the pair of electric candles someone had put in both windows. Also there was the glowing apparition at the foot of his bed.
Tante Mattie stood there, hands on her hips (or at least some kind of astral projection of Tante Mattie). Dressed in an old calico dress, looking like something out of Little House on the Prairie, with a handkerchief over her braided hair. Except little Laura Ingalls never looked half so fierce. Though semi-transparent, colorless save for a golden glow, the disapproval on Mattie's face was very opaque. Remy opened and closed his mouth several times.
"Just what do you think you're doin'?" Tante Mattie demanded.
Remy looked down at himself, looked around his room. Looked back to Tante Mattie. "Sl-sleepin'...?" he suggested.
Rogue sat up then, blearily looking around. "Wha-? What's goin' on?"
Tante Mattie's eyes went to Rogue, then pointedly back to Remy, her eyebrows halfway up her forehead.
"Oh, well-dis ain't. I'm not-we didn't-."
The eyebrows came down, nearly meeting in the middle over livid eyeballs. "I hear tell you're badly hurt. I sent myself all dis way and here I find you...your philanderin' self-on Christmas Eve, no less-in bed with another woman!" Her hands flew up to either side of her head, Praise Jesus-style.
"No! But, Tante. Dis is a friendly sleep! We didn't-look, we're still wearin' clothes!" Remy stammered, panicking and gesturing helplessly to both himself and Rogue.
"Ah-uhm, hello! Nice...nice t'meet you!" Rogue was also struggling with this unexpected situation she now found herself in. "You must be-Remy's, ah. You're his Tante Mattie! He's told me so much about you!"
Tante Mattie looked at Rogue, gave her a sympathetic look. "Oh, honey, bless your heart."
Rogue knew what that meant, her mouth dropped open. "Bless your heart" in this context was Southern-speak for: you've made questionable choices that lead me to believe you were dropped on your head as a child.
"Now, I don't blame you for any of this," Mattie said to Rogue kindly. "It's very clear...Who. The. Guilty. Party. Is. Here!" the woman jabbed her finger in Remy's direction to punctuate each word.
Remy held up his hands, trying to shield himself from the onslaught. "I swear on a stack of Bibles, Tatie! We fell asleep talkin', is all!"
Tante Mattie's eyes narrowed, lips pressed together. "Mmn-hmm." Utter disbelief conveyed in a two-syllable sound.
"It's true, ma'am," Rogue said and grinned in a false way. "Ah mean. Uhm. Mah mutant powers prevent me from touchin' anyway!"
Remy looked at Rogue, grinned. "Hey, yeah!" Then he frowned, said disappointedly: "Oh, right..."
Tante Mattie's arms were crossed. It seemed as though their testimony was moving the judge and jury's verdict in their favor. "Here's a thought," she began casually, asking Remy: "How about you stop gettin' yourself into situations that you have to explain your way out of? What d'you think about that?"
"Uh...sounds like pretty good advice…?" Remy said tentatively.
"That I've been givin' you for these last two decades!" Tante Mattie exclaimed. "I might as well be talkin' to a wall!"
"I'm glad t'see you, Tatie," Remy said, testing the waters.
Tante Mattie's expression softened into sadness. "Been gone a long time, Remy. Didn't know where you were half the time."
"That's...probably for de best," Remy said sheepishly.
Mattie shook her head, the beads and shells in her braided hair clacking. "Look at your poor face," she said with resignation. She approached Remy's bedside, put her soft glowing hands to either side of his face. She tsked. "Well, it's not so bad, I suppose. Even from where I am, I can help you some. Can't have you lookin' like a punching bag now."
Remy closed his eyes briefly though he couldn't feel her touch, more of a sensation of warmth. It'd been too long since he'd seen her, it had made memories of her kindnesses easier to try to forget. Now that she was here...sort of...it all came flooding back.
"Did ya come all dis way just t'try and heal me up?" Remy asked her.
"No, baby, I also came to forewarn you."
Remy looked up at Tante's face, no longer angry, but composed and serene. "Not another prophecy! No more portents of doom, please?"
She smiled. "No, I thought I'd better tell you first...your poppa's comin' to collect you." Her expression became stern. "And you'd better have an apology ready for when you see him."
"Yes, ma'am," Remy answered weakly, feeling rather squirmy.
Mattie continued: "You'd best get on your nice clothes to meet him proper."
"Uhm, about dat…" Remy began.
Tante Mattie's eyes narrowed a fraction.
"I kinda had an accident wit' my uniform. It became one wit' de universe."
Mattie's fists went to her hips. "God bless this boy of mine!" Tante Mattie said with exasperation. She waved a hand, as if to stop herself from continuing, placed it over her heart, and drew a steadying breath with eyes closed. "Lord God in Heaven, please grant your humble servant strength and patience!"
She opened her eyes again. "You'll be at my house, Sunday morning. Dressed for Mass, and you'd better have some thoughts ready to share with de priest! You'll be startin' the New Year right!" More indulgently she added: "Also, I got everything bought to make your favorite supper after."
"Yes, Tante," Remy responded faithfully.
Tante Mattie gave him one last tight-lipped smile, shook her head again. Then she looked at Rogue. "Well, young lady. Ain't you just a lovely flower of de South? You can do a lot better than this one here," she said and pointed at Remy.
"He's not so bad," Rogue told her. "Except when he's tryin' to chase people off by bein' as nasty as possible."
"Why'd you go and say that?" Remy hissed at her. "You tryin' ta get me inta even more trouble?"
"What did you say to this poor girl? I ought ta wash your mouth out with soap, Remy! Don't think I won't!"
"I believe you! Your word is Gospel!"
"I hope you have a nice holiday," Mattie said kindly to Rogue. "I'm glad you were a friend to my boy. He could use more friends, in the very platonic sense of de word." Mattie gave her a side-eye glare.
"Merry Christmas ta you, too," Rogue told her, smiling weakly.
Mattie folded her arms across her ample chest and vanished. Remy fell back onto the bed and curled up in fetal position. Rogue patted his shoulder consolingly.
"Ah guess Ah don't blame you for cowerin' now, sugah," Rogue told him. "That was your mama, hunh?"
Remy said from under the pillow: "Mama, auntie, healer, moral compass, God's wrath in human form, all of de above."
"Ah suppose you'd better get ready, get dressed for company."
"If only de earth would swallow me now…"
Rogue climbed off the bed. "You could find somethin' to wear in the room down the hall," she suggested.
Remy sat up, pulled his travel bag from beneath the bed. "Nah, I got somethin' festive." He showed her his favorite shirt.
"That's festive all right," she said, blinking at it. "You sure that's a men's shirt, sugah?"
"It don't have darts in de chest, so I suppose it's for a man," he considered his fleur-de-lys shirt front. Pulled it on over the black tee-shirt he was already wearing.
Rogue smiled and shook her head. When he stood, she fixed the collar. "Maybe you oughta do something about your hair?"
He combed his fingers through it. "Better?"
"What am Ah gonna do with you?"
"I can offer a few creative suggestions...?"
Rogue gave him a poke in the chest. "You'd better keep them to yourself," she scolded.
"I'm sorry, Rogue," he told her abruptly. "I wanted things to be different."
Rogue looked away. "Ah'm sorry, too. Maybe in a different lifetime."
Remy nodded. "A couple of 'em," he agreed. "But not always."
She looked at him with confusion.
"I should probably tell you goodbye now," he added. "Before my family members arrive to dismember me."
"It'll be okay," she assured him. "Ah was right. You are gonna see your family at Christmastime."
"Maybe I can come back for summer school?" he asked. "Make up some credit hours?"
"That'd be nice," Rogue said softly.
Remy drew a steadying breath. "Okay, time t'face de music."
Remy put on his coat from where he'd left it on the foot of the bed, picked up his bag as Rogue opened the door. They were met with the sounds of people gathered in the foyer and parlor below. Christmas music softly played from the kitchen. There was some exclamation at the sound of the doorbell ringing. Remy looked at Rogue, somewhat confused. He sincerely doubted any member of his family would ring a doorbell. A lot of happy cheering was going on in celebration of the new arrival. When Rogue and Remy got to the top of the stairs, they could see Scott Summers in the doorway. He looked a little awkward as he was being repeatedly hugged, patted on the back. Remy found himself grinning, not even Game Face grinning, but for real. He looked at Rogue and she was smiling too. He supposed she wasn't going to stay mad at Scott forever. They started down the staircase.
Jean was slowly making her way towards Scott as the other X-Folks greeted him and then stepped aside.
"Scott!" she said and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're back!"
Scott slowly disengaged from the hug. "Jean. I...I'm glad to see you, too." He adjusted his glasses. "There's something I need to tell you."
Jean looked worried. "What is it?"
Scott looked up at the others gathered in the foyer. Drew a deep breath. "There's a bunch of strange people standing in the front yard. Wearing hoods… And capes. Some of them have swords."
"Oh, Dieu," Remy said, put his hands over his face. Did Jean-Luc send the whole Guild to drag him back home? Maybe he expected Remy to put up a fight.
The X-Ensemble opened both front doors to get a better view of the group gathered on the snow-covered lawn. There appeared about two-dozen people in the yard, halfway between the front steps and the gated fence. Half were standing in regimented order. The other half looked as if they'd been dropped onto the ground as if by a small child setting up a chess set for the first time. One of the members of the disorderly second group raised something in his arms and a crossbow bolt abruptly flew into the foyer to strike the newel post at the foot of the staircase.
"Oh, good, more property damage," Rogue observed. "Can't y'all just come in and not wreck up the place?"
"An attack?" Magnus said, immediately on guard.
Remy was at the base of the stairs. He pulled the bolt free, showing the point to Magnus. "No, not an attack. A message." The bolt was stuck through a playing card, The Joker. The Fool, in this case, a young man dancing along a precipice singing a merry song, blind to the danger he was in. Not a bad card to be associated with, just an unpredictable one.
"I'm a wanted man," Remy said, looking at it.
Jean looked at the loosely assembled group outside. "Is this your-family?" she asked Remy.
"Half of them are," Remy peered over the heads of those gathered in the foyer, trying to figure out which of the hooded figures was which.
"Maybe they'd like to come in?" Jean suggested.
"What are they doing just standing out there?" Scott asked, watching through the side window.
"I'm gonna guess: caroling," Remy said in a dull tone.
"Very amusing-," Magnus began when someone on the lawn blew a pitch pipe.
Half the group outdoors sang: "Douce nuit...Sainte Nuite. Tout est calme...plus de bruit. C'est Noël et là-bas dans le ciel. Une étoile d'un éclat irréel...Brille au loin sur le monde...Comme un beau rêve infinit!" before descending into laughter.
"You're flat, Emil," commented a voice.
"Cram it wit' roasted chestnuts, Theo!" presumably the one named Emil shouted back. He then called: "Hey, Reh-Me! Where y'at!?"
"Awrite!" Remy called back.
"We freezin' our butts off out here!"
Ororo came forward to the open doors fully and beckoned to those in the yard. "Please, come in."
"Where is a sinkhole when you need one?" Remy asked himself. Rogue put a reassuring hand on his arm. Remy called to Ororo: "You can leave de assassins out dere, for all I care."
"Did he just say 'assassins'?" Bobby asked Logan in an undertone.
Logan looked at Remy with consternation. "These the 'bodyguards'?" he asked.
Remy shrugged.
Unfortunately, the assassins were also invited in, though Remy had no idea why they were there. Ritualized hazing, perhaps? Remy saw both his father and his ex-father-in-law approach the doorway at the same time. They both looked at one another for a moment and Remy was for certain there was about to be a chalk-drawn outline on the front step by tomorrow. But Jean-Luc gave a brief bow in Marius' direction and indicated he should be first to enter. This just seemed to make Marius' normally irritable expression look even more irritated.
Jean-Luc smiled a charming smile. "Après-vous," he said. Bear-poking.
The two contingent Guilds filed in, with assassins flanking the right side of the doorway, thieves on the left. Once inside, the doors were closed behind them. Jean was thoughtful enough to offer drinks. Thieves happily accepted the offer. The assassins were far more reticent, still wearing their hooded capes (probably to better conceal their weapons). Remy spotted only two friendly faces amongst the thieves, not including his father who normally wore no expression whatsoever when dealing with his youngest son.
Jean-Luc bowed slightly in Ororo's direction as he approached her. "These thieves thank you for your invitation. We gratefully accept your hospitality. I assure you no stealing of silverware will occur."
Ororo smiled warmly at him as he glanced up at her, gave her a wink. Remy frowned, his dad could be annoyingly charming.
"Just keep an eye on dat one," said the sole female thief to Ororo, pointing at a man with strawberry blond hair and more freckles than skin.
"Hey!" Dat One objected with mock offense.
"Welcome," Magnus told the two Guild leaders, he looked in Remy's father's direction. "Jean-Luc? We spoke on the phone."
"I recognize your voice, monsieur. A pleasure. Thank you for your message regarding my wayward son. I'm glad to see he's not suffered too badly for having been poked full of holes…?"
Remy gave his father a weak wave. The man was decked out in full Guild regalia, tunic, family crest, rank and file marked out on his sleeves, cape and cowl, the works. Hair pulled neatly back from his face in a long tail down his back. This was very strange that he should show up at the School, amidst outsiders, in such a getup. Remy had made efforts not to mention the Guild. Now he had a sinking suspicion this was going to be a formal visit.
"Fully recovered," Hank said, looking now with curiosity at Remy's no-longer-beaten face. "By some miracle."
"Likely our traiteur's doing," Jean-Luc said as an aside. He continued to address Magnus. "We owe you and your people a life-debt, for saving my son's life, restoring him to good health. De United Guilds of New Orleans pledge our loyalty and services to you and yours. Both for his life, and in recompense for de trouble Remy no doubt caused while he was here."
"I think what he means t'say is dat next time you're down New Orleans way, drinks are on us," Remy said and Jean-Luc shot him a look that showed he was only slightly amused.
"Did he say 'guilds'?" Bobby asked Logan.
"I'm not your hearing aid!" Logan grouched back.
"I don't know that that is neces-," Magnus began, but then Rogue, where she was still standing on the staircase, plucked a foam dove from the Christmas tree and threw it at the back of his head. He turned to look up at her. She shook her head, giving him a warning not to refuse the offer. "Thank you," Magnus said to Jean-Luc instead. "Your offer is gratefully accepted."
"My-associate-does not speak for our Guild," Marius announced and Remy rolled his eyes. "For one, we-ow!"
One of the Assassins' Guild members had stomped on his foot. "Adults are speaking, daddy," she hissed. At the sound of her voice, Remy suddenly felt as if he'd been frozen on the spot.
Jean-Luc looked at his son. "We're just here t'give our thanks to your friends. You can stay if you want. But I'd like to offer you your old job back."
Remy tore his eyes away from the small hooded figure at Marius' side. He told his father: "'Preciate that, but hope you can understand if I say 'no.' On account of I will never work for Candra again in any way, shape or form."
"Candra is dead," Jean-Luc said, simply, brutally.
"Good riddance!" someone called, Remy wasn't sure if it was a thief or assassin this time.
Remy felt another wave of shock. "What? How? I didn't think she could die."
"I'm sure she'll pop up again...in some way, shape or form," Jean-Luc said idly. "But for now, we forge our own destiny, choose our own path. And she's not de boss of me!"
Remy almost laughed at that. He looked at Jean-Luc, then Marius. "But, did someone kill her?"
"Weh," Jean-Luc confirmed. "En Sabah Nur. Ended her days. And hopefully, she took our existence and whereabouts to her grave."
"En Sabah what now?"
"De Daywalker...? Remy, it's spelled out in Book Seven of de Old Kingdom texts," Jean-Luc said in a dully exasperated tone.
"I might've mistranslated dat to 'Day Tripper.'"
Jean-Luc made a hand gesture that said: I give up. Moving on. "Anyway, we're prepared to restore your status, rank, and all privileges dat affords you. Of course, you're welcome to come back to our clan regardless of your choice."
"Did he just say cl-."
"Bobby!" Logan shouted.
"But not like, the...you know, kinda clan that starts with a K?"
"You got an answer, there son?" Jean-Luc prompted.
Remy threw another dove at Bobby's head, then looked at his father. "Well...If I was just a regular jerk, I'd say no."
"What kind of response is that?" Marius asked loudly, affronted.
"I think it's a yes, and it's about as good an answer as we're likely to get," Jean-Luc said, drolly.
"I have drinks!" Jean announced. She'd enlisted a cadre of young mutants to assist. They filed into the foyer, crowding it all the more.
"Thank God!" someone called.
"Shh! Shut up! You're makin' us look like a buncha fools!"
"Hey, dere's a piano in here!" Emil called from the sitting room. He immediately started banging on the keys. "Hey, kids, sing along if ya know dis one! Grandma got run over by a reindeer…!"
"I told you to keep an eye on him!"
"I'm not a babysitter! I outrank you! You go watch him."
"Walkin' home from our house Christmas Eve!"
"Does anyone know who this guy is?" asked a New Mutant in the sitting room.
"I think it's one of Gambit's relatives," replied another.
"Okay, that makes sense."
"You may think there's no such thing as Santa…!"
"I hope there's liquor in dis punch."
"I brought extra if dere's not."
Remy made his way over to Jean-Luc. "Merry Christmas," Remy told him.
"Dat all you got to say?"
"I'm also very sorry."
Jean-Luc waved the apology away. "Forgiven. Forgotten about. I was thinkin' maybe you'd give me an 'I missed you' but was hopin' for an 'I love you.'"
"Why not both?" Remy shrugged. "Are we huggin' now or what?"
"Dat's my job!" Henri announced and despite being half a foot shorter than Remy, lifted him off his feet in a bear hug.
"Put me down, you're embarrassin' me," Remy said, a laugh squeezed out of him.
"I didn't think that was possible! But if so, I think Mercy brought along some of Tante's baby photos of you, just in case we needed leverage."
Remy was confronted by his sister-in-law, Mercy. "You big stupid idiot," was her greeting.
"Thanks for de winter hat you sent."
"I thought you'd like the color."
Remy was seized by the back of his jacket and dragged backwards into the Christmas tree. Emil kissed him full on the mouth and announced: "Mistletoe!"
"Ack, God-Emil!" Remy scrubbed his mouth with his sleeve.
"Anyone got any requests for what I play next? How about Mariah Carey?"
"Can I please stab him?" asked an assassin.
"We're guests here. Stab him on de way home."
"I don't want a lot for Christmas…there is just one thing I need..."
"Okay, lissen up you bunch of dumb-dumbs," announced one of the assassins and she clapped her hands. "I got a special task for y'all." She opened the right-side door. "First one of you who brings me a horn from Daredevil's head gets a special Christmas bonus!"
The assassins were all poised in anticipation. Their leader held up her hand. "On de condition he stays alive, and dat also means no fatal wounds either. He's too cute t'die." She paused. "Also don't hit him in de face. Or de butt."
"Okay, now get out!" she yelled and pointed to the exit. "No, not you, daddy."
The foyer emptied of a dozen bodies, thankfully all of them living. The remaining visitors were offered food and guided to the kitchen. Apparently disappointed that the show was not going to continue, several others departed to rejoin the party. Remaining by the Christmas tree were Remy and his father, Marius and his daughter, Logan, Ororo, Rogue and Magnus.
Belle finally lowered her hood, looked at Remy.
"What'd you do to your hair, stupid?" he asked her.
"What'd you do to yours, ugly?" she responded.
"Cut it."
"Took it out of braids. It's not humid here like back home."
"Before I was rudely interrupted," Marius said, glaring at his daughter, but talking to Jean-Luc. "You don't have the authority to promise our services to anyone."
"We have a pact," Jean-Luc replied in a civilized but bored tone.
"The pact no longer exists," Marius retorted. "We are only here to ensure you don't grant your son any more leeway than you already have!"
"Somebody better tell Hank t'bring de first aid kit," Remy told Logan.
"The pact is mine to restore," Belle interrupted. Marius glowered at her. She assumed a superior expression. "Remy LeBeau, do you wish to resume our partnership, restore our family's pact, embrace your destiny, and accept all responsibilities and all benefits of our union?"
Remy's eyes flicked from Belle to her father and back again. "Is dis a trick or somethin'? Is there an answer I can give dat won't get me stabbed?"
"Oh, I am very mad at you," Belle told him in a delighted tone. "And I intend t'kick your butt from here back t'New Orleans and then some. But I promise I won't stab you. At least not anywhere it shows."
Belle's violet eyes went to Logan. "Hullo, dere," she said, her eyes traveled down, then back up (but not too high up). "Why, I wouldn't even have to get a crick in my neck to kiss you, now would I?"
"Belle!" Marius snapped.
"You're dismissed," Belle waved her hand at her father in a shoo-shoo gesture.
Logan smiled broadly. "Nice to meet you, darlin'," he said. "So you're the skirt that tamed the Cajun?"
"Housebroke, more like."
"Oh, brother," Rogue rolled her eyes. "Ah'm leavin' now. Nice meetin' y'all."
Belle put a hand out to stop Rogue from departing. "Hold your hawses, there," she said. Remy was prepared to throw himself into the fray when Belle continued: "Jean-Luc might've promised a life-debt to y'all, but I owe you a heart-debt, sugah."
Rogue considered Belle, her expression one of confusion.
"For pickin' up de pieces of this poor broken boy," Belle added. "And puttin' him back together."
"How-what do you…?" Rogue asked, concerned.
"Oh, our Tante Mattie," Belle said with a smile. "Likes to keep an eye on him from time ta time. She says it's almost as good as watchin' her daytime stories, but the plotlines are less believable."
Rogue was blushing. Remy was mortified, which was something of a new experience for him.
"I ain't even mad," Belle said, shot Remy a look, then returned her gaze to Rogue. "At you anyway."
Remy grimaced.
"You didn't answer me about de pact," Belle said to Remy, vaguely threatening.
"I do, Belle," Remy said. He didn't look at Rogue.
Belle held out her hand and made a grabbing motion. "Gimme de keys to Loretta. She's in de garage, no?"
Reluctantly, Remy reached into his pocket. When the keys appeared, she snatched them from his grip. "Dis all your stuff? Leave it wit' Jean-Luc. Have him burn it. Meet me outside when you're through here."
Before she flounced off, Belle added: "There sure are an awful lotta handsome menfolk here. Makes me start to wonder if I don't qualify as a 'gifted youngster' myself!"
"Can't you control your daughter, Marius?" Jean-Luc asked in a blasé tone, pretending to brush something from his sleeve.
"Shut up, old man," Marius snapped and turned to follow Belle.
"Stick in de Mud," Jean-Luc said after the front door slammed. "I apologize for his rude behavior. Completely uncivilized."
He continued: "Remy, I brought a gift for you, too. I can't give you back de time you spent workin' for dat hag, Candra, but I can give you something to make up for lost time. For you and Belle." He extended a hand in Remy's direction, something was held loosely in his fist. Remy gave his father a curious look and held out his own hand to receive whatever Jean-Luc held. A pair of vials dropped into his palm, filled with some kind of greenish liquid. Remy's expression was a mix of trepidation and confusion.
"What…?"
"I'll explain in less polite company," Jean-Luc said.
The doorbell rang again. "Now what?" Logan asked and marched to the door. He opened it to reveal the town Sheriff and his dog.
Both Remy and his father were suddenly very still, eyes watchful.
"Good evening," the Sheriff said. "Do you mind if I come in?"
Logan stepped back to allow the man to enter. Rogue shifted nervously next to Magnus. Maybe he wouldn't be recognized wearing a Santa hat and holiday sweater?
"Happy holidays," Ororo told the man. "I hope you have not gone out of your way to visit."
"Ma'am," the Sheriff began and removed his hat. "I'm afraid I have some troubling news to share. There seems to have been some kind of accident at a nearby apartment. It doesn't look like the place was up to code. According to the landlady, a man matching the description of your student was the only resident."
"Oh," Ororo said. "Thank you for informing us, however-."
"We...found quite a lot of blood on the scene. We're searching the woods now, but it seems he was taken by vehicle. Perhaps by force."
The dog barked, leapt up and pulled at his lead. Remy shrank back into the fir tree and the ornaments shook.
"Chip, stop it now. Sit."
The dog continued to bark at Remy. "Uh...I'm just gonna-," Remy cast about for a means to escape.
"Our student, that is, Remy," Ororo was talking loudly over the barking dog. "He is-."
Chip launched himself at the thief, pulled himself free of the Sheriff's grip and charged.
"Aaugh!" Remy cried and tried to hide behind the tree. "Why do bad things keep happening t'me!"
The dog jumped on him, drove him to the floor, started vigorously licking his face.
"M'aidez!"
"Chip! Down!" the Sheriff yelled and threw a red rubber bone across the foyer so hard it squeaked. Chip gave up his quarry and ran after the toy.
"I am so sorry!" the Sheriff said, and offered a hand to help Remy stand. "Are you alright?"
Ororo approached. "Sir, this is Remy. He is perfectly safe. You can call off your search."
The Sheriff looked Remy over carefully. "You sure you're okay, son?"
"Fine, fine, just keep that dog away from me!" Remy said, wiping dog slobber off his chin. "Disgustin'! Almost as bad as Emil."
The Sheriff adjusted the radio on the front of his coat. Shook his head, half relieved. "Well, this is a real gift. I can send my people home now. Glad you're okay. Chip! Heel!"
The dog trotted over, happily chomping his bone. The Sheriff placed his hat back on his head. "Anyways, you have a nice holiday. Sorry for the slobber. Take better care of yourself."
Logan saw the man to the exit and closed the door. "This party is actually turning out to be fun," he said.
"Says you!" Remy complained.
"Your family is welcome to stay the evening," Magnus told Remy.
"Merci boo-coo," Jean-Luc answered. "I'd take you up on de offer, but we've already requested sanctuary from de New York Guild. Believe me, rather stay here than with that bunch of stuck-up snobs."
"Poppa," Remy said in a falsely scandalized tone.
"Stop by Strange's place on de way and see if we can't get him drunk," Jean-Luc continued. "We only got 'til dawn, and some of de kids wanted to visit Wall Street, steal Charging Bull and throw it into de East River."
"How ever will you manage that?" Ororo asked.
"Levitation spell," Jean-Luc shrugged.
"Vive la résistance!" Remy said.
"About this En Sabah Nur person," Magnus asked. "Should be we concerned? You say he murdered a woman who could not otherwise be killed? A mutant?"
"External," Jean-Luc specified. "And I'd say anyone goin' 'round callin' himself 'Apocalypse' is cause for concern, yeah."
The remaining X-Men regarded one another with worried expressions.
Remy's Harley was roaring in the front drive. "I think that's my ride," he said.
Remy was followed to the front doors. Outside he saw Belle seated on his bike. He called: "Hey, sha, don't be treating her so rough. She's got a delicate constitution."
"Who says a woman wants to be treated gentle? Get on de back!" she pointed her thumb to the seat behind her.
Remy turned back, regarded the X-Men. "Guess dat's all for now folks," he said. "Later, 'gators."
"You will come back," Ororo informed him.
"Provide notice well ahead of time," Magnus intoned.
"Cajun," Logan said and attempted to crush his hand in a handshake.
"Bye, sugah," Rogue said. "Guess it's still: thief first, hunh? Favorite youngest son second?"
"Weh, sometimes I tell de whole truth," Remy raised his sore hand in farewell before trotting down the steps to the motorcycle. "Merry Christmas!"
"What's dat on your head, ugly?" Belle called over the sound of the motorcycle.
Remy was pulling his new hat down over his ears. "Mercy sent me a hat."
"It's purple."
"I'd call it 'plum'."
"You're plumb loco if you think you're wearin' dat in public. You look like a giant penis." Belle tossed him a helmet. Remy nearly missed catching it, laughing as he was.
Remy threw one leg over the bike. Ororo gasped. "Those are my boots!" she cried.
"Belle! Punch it!" Remy ordered as Ororo began down the steps.
"Invite your handsome friend t'visit," Belle said idly. "De one that looks like Charlton Heston. Will Penny."
"I thought de same thing!" Remy said. Ororo had reached the bottom of the steps. Belle squeaked the bike forward a few yards.
"Enh! Logan!" Remy shouted.
"End of February!" Logan called.
"Return my boots this instant!" Ororo called and began running after them, however, she had dressed for the occasion in tight leather pants and high heels, so her mobility was somewhat limited.
"Au revoir, mes amis!" Remy called, and the bike roared down the drive, fishtailing slightly as it turned down the drive. Remy flashed a peace sign, hand extended low to his side.
Ororo shouted: "Stop, thief!"
Remy's arms were outstretched as Belle turned onto Graymalkin. They tore off down the street, a faint song following them: I'm not the man they think I am at home… Oh, no no no! I'm a rocket man...
"Well, dat's a disaster waitin' to happen," Jean-Luc commented, watching them depart. He looked at Rogue, smiled a half-smile and raised an eyebrow. "Hey, girl."
"Uh, no," she held up a finger. "You're very handsome, but no."
"Off my game," Jean-Luc said to himself, then abruptly asked: "Emil?"
"Yup!" Emil suddenly appeared, eating a cookie.
"Get de others. Time t'go."
"HEY, KIDS! WE GOIN'!"
"Out," Jean-Luc pointed at the exit, hand over his ringing ear. "Enh, why didn't I ask for Genard instead?" Emil bounced out the front door. He was followed by two more thieves. Jean-Luc counted them as they passed.
"...Five, six, seven….Eight. Okay, where's nine? I'm gonna have a Home Alone situa-ation here. Nine. Who else we got? Genard!"
"Got her number," Genard said as he dashed past.
"Good lad," Jean-Luc told him.
"Where's de rental?"
"Mercy parked it in de ditch, we gotta push it out."
"I never drove in snow before!"
"Crazy women drivers! Ow! OW! Do not throw snow!"
"I call shotgun!"
"Stop wit' de snowballs!"
"You hit me in de glasses, asshole!"
Jean-Luc rubbed an eye tiredly. "Y'all don't have some kinda portal or teleportation thing, do you?"
"Not at the moment," Magnus informed him.
"Dis is gonna be a long trip back. And to think, you only had t'deal wit' one of dem."
Jean-Luc didn't flinch when he was struck in the chest with a snowball.
"Emil!" someone scolded.
"It wasn't me, it was Henri!" Emil shouted.
"Who, me?"
Jean-Luc stepped onto the front steps, brushed snow from his uniform. "That's enough! I won't have dis insubordination! You-! Fall in line! Get in de van! None of you are to speak-!" The Guild patriarch was struck with another snowball. "Henri. Alain. LeBeau! I am gonna beat your butt!" Jean-Luc scooped up his own snowball and fired back.
Several thieves screamed: "Run away!"
Ororo closed the door hurriedly before several more snowballs struck it. The shouts, laughter, and pleas for mercy eventually faded as the thieves disappeared into the night.
"They seem…" Ororo began.
"Deranged?" Magnus offered.
"Like they know how to have a good time," Logan said.
"Unorthodox. I have a better understanding now...of our friend Remy," Ororo said fairly.
Rogue didn't know what to say. Remy was gone. She thought she should have taken his hand when he offered. She would have seen what he really wanted. He wasn't going to tell Belle 'no' after all, or refuse to leave with his family. Rogue reconsidered her choice now. To have touched him, one last time, to see if she was the one he really wanted to choose. Then again, maybe not. Maybe she wouldn't have seen anything at all...she might have simply held his hand. Rogue recovered the two turtle doves from the floor, used her flight to return them to their places on the tree. She tried to repair the damage to the lower branches, pick up fallen ornaments. The disaster from when Remy had been jumped by the police dog. Logan soon joined her.
"You alright, darlin'?" he asked.
Rogue smiled ruefully. "Yeah, Logan. Just don't give me any of that: 'I told you so,' business."
"Wasn't going to," Logan said, and picked up an ornament. Before he could place it back onto the tree it disintegrated into shards. "I don't think he was messing with you, Rogue. I think he's just a kid who knew he'd messed up, who wanted to do better. Kinda like someone else I know."
"It only takes gettin' possessed ta see the light!" Rogue tried to joke. "That darn thief went and stole mah heart."
"I think it went both ways."
"Yeah," Rogue said softly. "In any case, Ah didn't go away empty-handed. He gave me somethin' in return."
"What's that? A hickey?"
Rogue shook her head, rolled her eyes with amused annoyance. "Logan, do you trust me?" she asked.
"Of course."
Rogue pulled off one of her gloves. Held her hand out in Logan's direction. He looked at her, eyes uncertain, but gave her his hand in return. Rogue held his hand in her own for a long time, feeling his strong fingers wrapped around hers. She gave him a hard squeeze, pumped his hand in a rough handshake. She grinned at him.
"How?" Logan asked, looking at their clasped hands.
"Ororo said there was a difference between thinkin' and knowin'. Ah thought Ah might be able touch you. But Ah know Ah'd never hurt you. This is mah body. Ah won't let anyone tell me what to do with it. Ah won't let anyone hurt me, try and make me be afraid of mah own self."
"Logan, Ah'm not scared anymore."
END
Aw...you mad? Did you think I was going to let them just BE TOGETHER when there's two more whole books to get through? C'mon! Anyway, see below for preview of the next book: Dealing with a Devil.
Random References:
The thieves sing the French version of Silent Night
Rocket Man - Elton John
Dialogue stolen from X-Men #8
"So you're the skirt that tamed the Cajun?"
"Housebroke, more like."
I started writing another story after I'd finished Dealing with a Devil. It's an action story with some elements of mystery and horror. Look for it soon, it's called Grasp The Nettle.
Preview for Dealing with a Devil, contains spoilers.
She thought maybe she'd like more time like this...without any strange portents or prophecies hanging over their heads. To enjoy a quiet moment in a park just like everyone else. Rogue was now holding one of his hands, her face pressed against the fabric of his shirt, made warm from his body and basking in the sun. She could feel the heat of the sun against the top of her own head, since she'd moved from her place in the shade beneath the tree to be closer to him. Drew in the smell of him, a little different since he'd stopped smoking, but still a warm, masculine, resin-like scent. She felt his chin against the crown of her head, listened to his breathing and the sounds of the park around them. Remy's other hand rested on her back, arm still hugging her. Slowly, Rogue pulled away, put his hand she held to the side of her face. She closed her eyes, enjoyed the brush of his fingertips just touching her ear and hairline, his dry palm against her cheek. Rogue turned her mouth to his palm, pressed her lips there. Her eyes rose to meet his, hopeful about what she might see. Was it okay? Should she be doing this?
It was hard to read his expression. He leaned forward, kissed her forehead. Chastely, she thought. Maybe she'd misread the heated look he'd given her, the tickling blade of grass up the back of her calf and thigh. Rogue gazed over his shoulder across the park, seeing others strolling, picnicking, walking dogs. A woman sat on a park bench facing away from them to look at the lake. Her hair was dark red. When she turned, it seemed she was looking directly at Rogue. The figure returned her gaze to the lake. Rogue thought her profile familiar and she jolted suddenly with surprise. A crackle, a sting like static on the side of her face where Remy's skin met hers. She drew back suddenly.
"Sorry, sorry," she said quietly. "Ah didn't mean-."
Remy's thoughts in her mind: Is this right? Should I be doing this?
Rogue looked up to Remy's face again, studying him carefully.
"Y'awrite?" he asked quietly.
She nodded, her eyes went back to the bench. It was empty.
"I guess you're outta practice," Remy told her softly.
She gave a chagrined smile. "Ah guess so."
"I could help you warm up...?" His devilish smile returned. "If you're thinkin' you'd like to play ball again?"
"Ah'm feelin' pretty warm already," she said, and slipped off her blouse, revealing her strapless top.
The tingling lines his fingers left on her bare skin made her shiver, even in the hot sun.