List of oneshots part 4
chapter 43
Ranma ends up nabbing numerous odd jobs with various odd bosses.
Series: Ranma
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"My pigtailed goddess! I shall rescue you!"
"Just leave me alone you pervert! I know you got the copy of the restraining order I filed!" Yelled Ranma, currently a girl, while backflipping across trees and away from Kuno.
"I will not allow the laws of man to restrain our boundless love for each other!"
"There's no love between us you idiot!" Ranma shouted, flipping across buildings. "What will it take for you to leave me alone?!" She spotted a clothes line coming up and snatched the first thing she could grab, landing on the ground as Kuno got in closer, and threw whatever it was right at his face, revealing it was a black lacy bra. "Happosai, I got a treat for you, now sick him!"
"Huh?" Kuno took the bra off his face before going wide eyed. "I-I-I-Is this a token of your love?! I'm honored!"
"No you pervert, it's some rando's bra!" Ranma shouted as she kept running. 'Need to hide from him, just long enough for him to lose my trail.'
"I shall accept it with all my heart!" Kuno called out as he hugged the bra to his chest.
'Gotta hide, gotta hide, gotta hi-' Ranma thought before seeing an open door. 'Yes! That'll do!' She thought as she ducked in quickly and slammed the door shut behind her. She heard Kuno yell out for her and run past, making her sigh in relief and wipe her brow. "Phew, finally."
"Ah, hello there, take a seat ma'am."
"Huh?" Ranma turned, noting how she was in some office with a counter, some chairs, posters, and a woman sitting behind the counter with a smile and brown hair. "Oh, uh, sorry, I just needed to duck in quick to-"
"Ma'am, I completely understand, no one likes to admit why they're here, and I won't pry, ok?" She held up a hand. "It might seem odd, but we keep a confidential policy here so no one can find out."
"Well, that's nice bu-" Ranma started before hearing Kuno screaming outside, calling for his 'pigtailed lover'. 'I might as well stay here until that idiot leaves, worse case scenario they ask me to leave.'
"Come have a seat and we can go talk." The woman said as she gestured to a seat in front of the counter. "Now then, are you a returning client or is this your first time here?"
"Well...first time." Ranma walked over and sat down, figuring she should go along with this for the time being as long as Kuno was still around.
"Excellent, now then, do you have any special skills that I should put down on your resume?"
"Resume?"
"Yes, it's just a simple file that I will be sending to potential employers, one that will help them decide if you're a good fit for their organization."
'Ok, I think I get it, this is some kind of employment office… maybe?' Ranma thought before clearing her throat. "Ok, well, I can't say I have much to offer, uh….I'm a very good martial artist?"
"Alright, that's good." the woman jotted that down on the form. "Now is it natural, or mystically gifted by an outside source?"
"Natural." Ranma said quickly. "I've trained for years to get this good."
"Alright, any form of supernatural abilities or mutant traits?"
"Well…" Ranma started, racking her brain. 'Should I tell her about the curse?'
"We can come back to that later." The woman said quickly, making Ranma sigh in relief. "Now then, how good are you to adjusting to strange circumstances that seem to happen seemingly out of nowhere?"
"Are you kidding? I have to deal with that every single day. Sometimes without getting a chance to sleep." Frowned Ranma.
"Interesting, and would you consider yourself a team player, or be willing to work as part of a group, or take orders from someone else?"
"That depends, would they be an annoying old panda, or some creepy ancient pervert?"
"Most likely not, but I will not guarantee anything." The woman said as she jotted down the info. "Now this is a big question, are you willing to travel far from your home to locations most likely not known by the general public in order to gain employment?"
'Leave?' Ranma thought, considering the pros and cons. 'I don't even know what this is for….but it's all up to me, and if I don't like it I can always refuse, and maybe leaving for a bit would do me some good.' She crossed her arms. "That depends, how much would it pay?"
"Well, it differs from employer to employer, but some are offering quite substantial pay if you stay on as a long term employee."
"Well, I guess if it pays a lot, I wouldn't mind going off for a bit. It wouldn't be the first time I've traveled a long way. I already did that all over the place before I could fight."
"Excellent, I do say your resume is looking very good, I have no doubt you will have no trouble finding a job, in fact I do have several requests if you're interested."
"Already? By who?"
"Well, there are several groups who send requests to us asking for people to hire, as you know finding people to fill these positions isn't exactly easy." The woman said with a smile. "We have a Doctor Drakken who is looking for an assistant, a queen who is looking for someone to help with manual labor, that sort of thing."
"Huh…. out of curiosity if I did take one of these jobs, how long would they last?"
"Well it would vary, again based on the person and what they're doing. Sometimes it can end as fast as a month, maybe two, or if things work out well the job could go on much longer, maybe even end up permanent." She said as Ranma's eyes widened. "Of course part of that is up to you as well, if you think a job isn't a good fit you can always leave, assuming you don't sign any kind of contract."
"Ha! No thanks. I ain't gonna sign a thing, my pops did that way too many times for me thank you."
"Like I said ma'am, you don't have to sign anything if you don't want….we might have something less temporary if you want, we also work as a temp agency, and the jobs in those sectors only last around a month at max, but of course they pay less too."
"Show me what you got. I could make do with some extra cash." Ranma said as the woman smiled.
"Certainly...ok, we have a temporary job at a warm exotic location, they promise excellent pay and at the end there is the option of staying on full time if you're a good fit."
"Alright, bring it on." Ranma said with a grin.
"Excellent, if you come back in a few hours we'll have transport for you to go to your new job." The girl said with a smile. "May I have your name for your new file?"
"Ranma Saotome."
"Alright Miss Saotome." She said as she typed away. "Welcome to the hench-hire family."
'Huh, weird name for a hiring office.' Ranma thought as she got up to leave. 'At least I'll be able to leave this place for a few days and get some money.'
"Alright, let's get you to your first job." The woman said as she picked up a phone. "Just stand outside and I'll get everything ready, if we're lucky you'll be able to leave momentarily."
"Sounds good to me." Ranma said as she began to walk out the door.
"Oh! Also the jobs may have dress codes, just keep that in mind!" The woman added quickly.
"Sure thing!" She called as she left the building. 'Ok, this is looking good, for once things are going right for me, soon I'll be away from fiances, crazy love rivals, the insanity of this town, all of it!'
Oh how unfortunate she was wrong given her life and luck.
SPLASH!
"Ehehehe, got you Ranma girl~" Laughed an old man's voice with glee.
"Grrrr, Happosai!" Growled Ranma, looking up to see an old man hopping away from her, a wooden pail and ladle in hand. 'Idiot, I'm already a woman right now.' She huffed and walked off to try and find some hot water. 'Come on, I wanna go to this job in my regular form, not as a woman, good first impressions and all that.'
(Later)
"...FUUUUUUUCK!" Ranma swore, hot water running down her face, except she wasn't changing. "How did that idiot get the one thing that can trap me in this stupid form?!"
She got up and shook her hair, seething in anger as she looked down at her female hands. "I'm stuck like this now?! Ugh, maybe I have time to fix this bef-"
"Ah, Miss Saotome, there you are, it's time to go."
Ranma jumped and whirled around to see the woman standing there. "O-Oh! Uh...can you give me a little more time? Now isn't a-"
"I'm afraid it's time to go, I have the transport ready right now, and it's best not to keep your employer waiting." She said as she lightly grabbed Ranma's arm and began to lead her away.
"But I'm soaking wet!"
"No need to worry, you'll be dry soon enough, and your employer will give you a fresh set of clothes when you arrive."
"But-"
"Now then, stand right here and the slide will open up momentarily." She said as she moved Ranma onto a large red X.
"Bu- wait, what slide?" She asked as the woman smiled before the ground shook and the earth beneath Ranma broke apart. Her eyes widened while a huge blast of hot air slammed right into her. She yelped as she fell down, hitting a slide as she descended deeper and deeper. "Waaaaaaahhhhh!"
"Have fun~" The woman called as the hole sealed up behind Ranma. "I hope she works out and doesn't die. We're losing newbies left and right." She sighed. "Working for villains can be so hard these days."
"AAAAAAHHHHH!" Ranma cried, the rocks around her turning red as the space grew larger before she found herself at the bottom, landing on a large pillow. "Oof! Hey! What the hell...hap...pened?" She said as she looked up, only to see a vast area in front of her full of fire, brimstone, large demons and the sounds of screaming.
"Welcome to hell newbie~"
"Huh?" Ranma said as she turned to see a whitehaired woman with a black crown and large white horns lounging on a large throne, smirking at her.
"I said welcome to hell, my name is Lucifer and I'll be your new boss."
'Hell? No, it can't be, right? RIGHT?!' Thought Ranma rubbing her head as she tried to stand up. "Uh, sorry, but I thought you said hell."
"Yes, but I suppose it's not the hell you're familiar with, but that doesn't matter, what does matter is that you're here to be my new employee, correct Miss...Saotome?" Lucifer said as she looked at a small sheet.
'Not the hell I'm familiar with? Wait… maybe this is some kind of amusement park or some crazy exhibit?' Ranma thought, trying to reason why she was here. 'I mean, it would explain the 'portal' that lady made happen. They use all sorts of tricks like that at the parks. This one must just need me to help around and stay in character to make it feel authentic.'
"Now then, before we go over your duties you're going to have to get in uniform. CEREBUS! Help them change please, and don't forget to change their hair too."
"Yes ma'am!" Three voices called out before Ranma was suddenly grabbed from behind, vaguely seeing three identical women with white hair and what looked like dog ears grinning at her.
"Wait w-WAH!" she let out as they dragged her off.
"Hi, nice to meet you!"
"We'll make you look like a real demon!"
"It's gonna be great!"
"Uh….ok?" replied Ranma, caught off guard by the quick speaking from the three same looking girls, and trying not to say something bad or else risk getting fired right then and there.
"This is gonna be fun!"
(Later)
"There!"
"You look like a genuine demon!"
"What do you think?"
"Uh…" Ranma said as she looked in the mirror, her hair as white as snow with two black horns poking out, she was wearing a blood red dress shirt and black vest and pencil skirt, with a black spaded tail attached. "It's….red, that's for sure."
"I know, it's great!"
"Yeah, you look amazing!"
"Boss is gonna love it!"
"So….what exactly will I be doing around here?"
"Well, we guard stuff, and sometimes we do office stuff!"
"I know Justice keeps the laws even if she's lazy!"
"Oh! Pandemonium does service stuff I think!"
"Ok….that doesn't answer my question though….should I ask Lucifer?"
"You will be my secretary and assist me in my day to day job...also you are a meat shield right now too." remarked the queen walking over to them and making the triplets move to the side quickly.
"Meat shield?" Ranma raised an eyebrow. "Are you expecting someone to attack you?"
"Well, not exactly, you see recently we have had a problem of people coming down, looking to make a demon harem." Lucifer admitted with a sigh.
"A….demon harem?" Ranma spoke slowly with a question mark over her head.
"Exactly, they come down, lure my subjects away with promises of sweets and other things, and it just gets worse from there." Sighed Lucifer. "Of course, I am worried they will try to seduce me, so that's why I hired you."
'What kind of amusement park goes with that story?' thought Ranma confused. "So...what do you want me to do if they DO come here?"
"Well, ideally distract them from me, and have them seduce you instead."
"...huh?" Ranma asked as she nodded.
"Yes, if worse comes to worse you are to get seduced instead of me, it's a sacrifice, but one I am willing to make."
Ranma felt her eye twitch and look unpleased to hear that. "You're kidding, right?"
"Not at all." Lucifer said with a smile. "I'm sure you'll make a great meat shield."
"...so let me get this straight you hired me, made me dress up like this, all so some weirdo seduces me instead of you?!"
"And to be my secretary and help with my day to day duties should you NOT seduce him." She added. "You are being paid well, don't forget that."
"Just how much exactly?"
"A hundred thousand yen of course." Lucifer said with a smile as Ranma's eye twitched.
"Per day, week or month?"
"Week."
"...that's barely above minimum wage."
"This is hell sweetie, what do you expect?" She asked with a smile as Cerebus snickered.
"...I quit."
"Pardon?"
"I quit, sorry, but I'd rather not risk ending up in a harem just for minimum wage." She replied, turning and walking off.
"Ah ah ah, not so fast, according to the place we hired you from you have to work a week here before you can quit!" Called Lucifer making Ranma stop as she smirked. "Which means you won't be quitting early."
"Fuck...fine, I'll stay for a week, but then I'm out of here!" She made clear with a frown as she crossed her arms.
"Great, then I'll make sure to get a weeks worth of work out of you~" Lucifer chuckled.
(Later)
"Please, please don't go!"
"Forget it, that's a week, which means I'm free to get out of here." Ranma said with a frown. "Now let me leave!"
"Please, you're one of the best workers I have! I-I'll pay you more, I promise!"
"Are you kidding? You left me to get taken out by that weirdo! I was stronger than him sure, but you were willing to let me get taken off like some cheap floozy!"
"But you got rid of him! And you brought the others back! Please, just stay!"
"No, a weeks over and I am done here!" Frowned Ranma before walking off with Lucifer trying to pull her back by the hand. "Get off lady!"
"Please! I-I'll give you promotion! Your own office! Cerebus!"
"No way! Dealing with those three talking every day is enough to give me nightmares." grumbled Ranma. She grinned as she saw a lone ladder extend down from the ceiling. "See you later Lucifer, hopefully never."
"Nooooo!" She cried out as Ranma front flipped to grab the bottom as it zipped up, making her fall to her knees and slump her shoulders. "Damn it, I knew I should have offered up the chance to be a demoness…."
"Boss, can't we just wait?"
"Yeah, we'll get her eventually!"
"Just wait until she croaks!"
"With her attitude? She'd end up in Heaven." Groaned Lucifer.
"Well, just kidnap her later!" Offered up Justice with a grin.
"...that's perfect!"
(Later)
"So, this next job won't have me ending up in a harem? You promise?"
"Absolutely."
"Oh thank goodness." sighed Ranma with a smile.
"Yes, sorry about the last job, but you know how it is, some employers are just hard to deal with."
"Just please tell me this next one isn't at an amusement park."
"No, this one is a high class mansion in the mountains, no amusement park." The woman smiled. 'I don't think she realized she was in hell… maybe best not to tell her Lucifer has been spamming me with requests to get Ranma back.'
"That sounds pretty good."
"Ok, well, I have transport ready if you want to go now."
"The sooner I start the sooner I get paid."
"Great, I think you'll like this one."
(Later)
Ranma walked over to the mansion, shivering from the cold wind, and gave a loud bang on it using the knockers. She waited for a moment before the door began to slowly open. "Um, hello? Is this the ...Millennium organization?"
"Ah, Guten tag, ve've been waiting for you." greeted a young man wearing black shorts, a yellow dress shirt, black knee high socks and a black tie with palish blond hair that for some reason looked like it was styled in the shape of ears. "Please, come inside."
"Ok, sorry it took me a bit to get here, there aren't any roads up here." Ranma said as she walked in.
"Oh do not apologize, it's quite alright. Ze Major prefers the isolation you see. Ve all do." he reassured with a wave as the door closed and she noted the old style design and architect of the place. "If you'll just follow me, you'll get to meet him."
"Glad to hear." She said as she followed him, noting all the old paintings as they walked. "So….what exactly does this organization do?"
"Ve are a noble group you see. Ve wish to help bring ze world into….a better understanding I should say." He grinned with a glint in his eyes which she didn't see. "Ve aren't seen as such by others, but ve only vish what's best for all."
"Ok, ok." She nodded. 'Ok, so far so good, they seem pretty professional.'
Soon they came to a pair of double doors the boy proceeded to open up, with Ranma noting it was dark inside, but kept on following, even though her senses were telling her they were far from alone. 'Ok, they probably have people watching us...probably bodyguards, I'm a stranger and I'm guessing this guy is loaded, no need to take any chances.'
"Ve're here." The man said as Ranma spotted a large throne like chair with a figure sitting in it, currently turned away from her.
"Um, hello sir, it's nice to meet you." Spoke Ranma with a bow, feeling a quiet tension in the air and steeled herself. "I'm here because of the job agency, and to work under your supervision."
"Ah, you must be Fräulein Saotome, correct?"
"Uh, yes." nodded Ranma, only understanding her surname mentioned while clueless on the first part. "I was told you were looking to hire someone, correct? What would you have me do?"
"Ah, in our organization, we are always looking for those who would be willing to help. Most people are so close minded, it almost brings a tear to mein eyes." spoke the person with a smile as the figure stood up and turned to Ranma, showing a slightly portly man with hair neatly combed, glasses, and dressed in white, and it wasn't even labor day. "Since you will be joining us for a certain period of time, it only makes sense to cut to the chase as the Americans say and tell you who we are." He raised a gloved hand and waved it down, causing the lights to turn on and reveal rows and rows of men in military attire standing on the sides, making Ranma's eyes widen, especially when she noticed a symbol they were all wearing. "For you see, we are nazis my dear."
"..." Ranma was silent for a moment, trying to comprehend what she just heard. 'Nazis….Nazis…. No, they have to mean something else, maybe uh….uh….reenactors?' She thought, gulping and tried to keep it together before smiling. "Ah, well...good to know."
"Yes, but Fraulein, tell me, does this make you uncomfortable, do you find any faults in working with the Nazis?"
"I uh….well….kinda?" she let out unsure while feeling the bloodlust oozing off the soldiers which gave her the chills.
"I see….well, that is fine." He said as he clapped his hands. "You are free to go after one job, you'd be surprised how few people feel comfortable working with us."
'Gee, ya think?!'
"Schrodinger, please lead our dear to get her uniform. It would be rather silly to have her get started and not feel like she belongs."
"Of course Major." He called with a smile. "Right this way, your uniform is in your room."
Ranma nodded and followed the boy, trying to keep her resolve strong. 'Ok, this is NOT what I expected! How the heck are nazis still around?!'
"I suppose you are wondering how we're still around, aren't you?" Schrodinger asked, making Ranma pause. "I understand, but you should know we condemn the more gruesome acts committed by the last fuhrer, his obssession with genocide was his dream, not ours in any way shape or form."
"Wait...really?"
"Of course. Our dream is far much more grander."
"And it's not something too bloody, right?"
"Well, not the blood of genocide."
'Oh dear god.'
(Later)
Ranma felt dirty, now clad in a german uniform with her hair done up in a bow, standing beside numerous other soldiers with her shivering. 'Please let this mission be an easy one.'
"Hey hot stuff, how you doing~?" Called a sleazy voice as a tanned man slid next to her, looking her up and down like she was a slab of meat.
"I'm doing fine." She grumbled with an annoyed tone. 'Oh joy, like being in a room of nazis wasn't bad enough, now I got one hitting on me.'
"Say, how about you and me hang back when these mooks get off the bus and have some good old fashion fun, huh?"
"I'd rather get my head ripped off." She remarked with a blunt tone without turning to him since it might encourage him.
"Ooh, I like it when they got some backbone, it makes it all the better when they're screaming my name~"
"Brother, enough." spoke a paler man with long blond hair and glasses shaking his head. "Must you try this now on the newest help?"
"Aw come on, I'm just making her feel welcome." Groaned the man as he reluctantly got up and moved away from Ranma. "God you're such a buzzkill, I just wanna wet my dick before the mission."
"Pardon my brother, he tends to think too much with his other head."
"I got that." remarked Ranma who sighed and looked outside the window. "So, nobody really told me what we have to do anyway. Mind filling me in."
"Ah, yes, of course, I forgot the mission briefs were in German, we're attacking the headquarters of a powerful group that opposes us."
"Oh, that all? That doesn't sound too bad."
"Well their strongest warrior is there, one who leaves battlefields as oceans of blood when he finishes, Alucard." Spoke the man with a smirk. "Which might sound impressive, but I know for a fact I can prove he's not all that powerful."
"Ok….so we go in, beat them then leave?"
"Essentially, yes."
"Sweet, sitting around on this bus was giving me leg cramps, I could use a good work out." Ranma said with a grin. 'Finally I'll be able to actually fight!'
"Good attitude. Who knows, if you manage a good enough job, the Major might consider you capable of rising through the ranks."
"Ah….how nice." Ranma said, trying not to imagine herself doing well in the nazis. 'I just want this week to end!'
"Bit of advice, try to stick behind everyone else. Otherwise they might come after you."
"What are you talking….about?" She asked before noting the sleazy brother standing up and giving a big grin while facing the seats of men, and noting how his teeth looked extremely sharp.
"Alright fuckers! Time for an upgrade!" He laughed as the others began to cheer as the bus started to slow down. "Now if you'll kindly make sure your weapons are locked and loaded, me and my dear brother will get their attention. When I give the signal, you give the nice men at the gate a nice big, and happy, fuck you!"
"YEAH!"
'Wait, guns? Are they going to kill people?'
(Later)
'Oh god...so much blood!' Thought Ranma, feeling sick and trying not to hurl as she looked at all the butchered guards. 'I thought we were just going to knock them unconscious!'
"Well, that was pretty easy. I expected more from the Hellsing organization." Chuckled Jan, kicking one of the disembodied heads. "Aw well, time to keep going and fuck up the old fucks pissing themselves right now."
"R-Right." Ranma said, trying to keep her voice steady. 'Oh Kami, I think I'm gonna be sick!'
"Aw, what's wrong tits, not having a good time?"
"I-I'm fine." she spoke, rubbing her throat and tried to focus. "What...What should I do?"
"Well, once we get to where the old farts are you're gonna go in and kick their asses, we need one alive to tell people what happened here. Also, you're here in case we have any surprises we need dealt with."
"Ok." she nodded, inwardly groaning, but relieved that she didn't have to go off and take any lives. 'These people are nuts.'
"Now then, the rest of you fuckers follow me and tits, we got us a meeting to crash!" laughed Jan.
'This guy is nuts! I'd rather take Kuno any day other than this psychopath!' Ranma thought as the soldiers marched behind her and Jan. 'This is not what I signed up for!'
But as they went down the hall, a glint of light reflected off something, which Ranma noticed and quickly felt something warn her.
"Woah!" she jumped back into the soldiers crowd, blending in, while several of them up front suddenly got sliced apart. "What the hell?!"
"What the hell was that?!" Jan said as a figure began to approach them.
"It would seem you're the one causing quite the ruckus around here. I'm afraid we can't have that now can we?" smiled an older man dressed in a fine suit, glasses, and gloves on his hands.
"Well well well, it looks like we have a crusty old bastard here who wants to party boys!" smirked Jan. "What's the matter Alfred? Finally get off the shitter to come and greet us? And without any of that shitty english tea? They sure aren't paying you for shit around here."
"My name is Walter, I am the butler for the Hellsing organization, and it is my job to keep this manor clean and take out the trash, like you fools." He smiled holding one hand up with Ranma catching the light reflecting off the strands attached to them.
'Woah! If I hadn't dodged, I would have been sliced to pieces.' She thought as she looked over Walter. 'My instincts are telling me that if I fight this guy...I'm going to die.'
"Well boys, go ahead and give this old coot a little taste." Ordered Jan as the ghouls moved their shields together and the guns aimed….only for several up front to get blown apart, catching him off guard. "What the shit!?"
"Bitches love cannons." A female voice faintly called out, too far for Ranma to see.
'Crap, this isn't going to end well!' she thought, jumping backwards and over more soldiers before she heard the sound of guns going off and crashes going off. 'If he sees me, he'll try and kill me! I gotta live and give that lady a piece of my mind!'
"My my, it seems some of you actually have brains." Called Walter as he slashed Jan to ribbons.
"MOTHERFUCKER!" He cried out, falling to a heap on the floor.
Ranma looked around and saw several pieces of ghouls land near her, leading to her doing something desperate. She crawled over on the floor and tried spreading some blood on herself before laying down face first on the floor to try and look dead. 'This is a new low, but this is the only way I'm going to survive!'
She heard the sounds go quiet, other than feet moving near her location followed by a throat being cleared.
"I know you're not dead, but nice try."
Ranma gulped and looked up at the butler and held up her hands. "Look, I-I didn't wanna do all this! I'm only here because of a stupid job! I swear!"
"A job…" Walter said as Ranma saw a blonde woman with short clothes and red eyes come over, a massive rifle in her hands.
"Y-Yeah, I just got hired earlier today, they didn't tell me they would be doing this, or that they were you know…." She said nervously.
"I see…." Walter said as he glanced at Seras. "Seras, is she a-"
"No, I don't think so."
"Look, a big fight with lots of ass kicking I can do, but this? I didn't sign up for a massacre!" groaned Ranma undoing her hair and ripping the symbol off the uniform. "Fuck if the week isn't over! I quit!"
"Now who said you could leave?" A voice called from behind her. "You did attack us after all."
Ranma whirled around, only to look into the orange shades to a black haired man with a red hair, long coat, white gloves, and holding two impressive guns with a feel to him that made Jan's feel like an ant in comparison. 'Holy shit! This guy….he's not normal. He's worse than the butler.'
"Ah, Alucard, glad to see you finally join us. As you can see we have an uninvited guest who claims she didn't know what she was getting into." Walter said as Ranma saw Alucard looking her up and down with a massive grin full of teeth to sharp to be normal.
"I'm impressed. You don't have the same feel like all these rejects that called themselves vampires. Are you sure you're human?"
"Of course I….wait, what did you just say?"
"Unimportant. Walter, do we have room for another big titted police girl?"
"Sir, I don't believe she is a police girl."
"Of course not, I'm a martial artist." Ranma spoke up. 'What did he mean by vampire...wait, is he trying to get me to stay?!'
"Well maybe she can help enlighten us on just who she does work for." Alucard said as Ranma gulped.
"M-Millennium organization, they said they were Nazis after I arrived!"
"...Called it." Alucard chuckled as Ranma gulped.
"So...can I leave?"
"That depends, what else can you tell us about them? Where their base is, what their numbers are, or what their end game is." Walter said as Ranmagulped.
"Uh...I can try? I didn't see much, but I'll tell you everything I know."
"Good, and once that's done have her sent to me, I say she needs a proper punishment before we let her leave." Alucard chuckled deviously.
"Hey! Don't even try anything pal." frowned Ranma. "I already have enough perverts to deal with back home."
"Oh I think something will happen, maybe not that, but I will have my fun~" He chuckled. "Or you could join your coworkers."
"...what did you have in mind?" Ranma asked nervously as Alucard grinned.
"Let's just say it will be very enjoyable...for me."
(Later)
"And then he….he….he fucking slapped my ass and motorboated me!"
"Oh dear!" The woman said as Ranma groaned. "That's horrible, I had no idea that organization ran like it did, we have a strict no nazi policy." She said with a frown. "Luckily being captured nullifies your job with them, so you won't be fined."
"Ya think?! "
"Yes, well, I can assure you the next one is NOT a nazi, he is actually looking for a temporary replacement, his usual helper is on an extended vacation."
"Is he a sleazeball pervert?"
"Not at all, quite the opposite in fact." She said with a smile. "He's actually quite silly and easy to get along with."
"Ok….and how much is he paying?"
"Well, it depends on how you do, but he is paying american dollars and it is a five digit number regardless of how you do for now."
"Fine, I'll take it."
"Great, I think you'll really excel at this job Ranma."
(Later)
"Ah, you must be the substitute. A miss...Sao...Sao…."
"Saotoma." She said as she looked at her employer. 'He's certainly….blue.'
"Yes, well, I am Doctor Drakken, future ruler of the world!" Proclaimed the man throwing his head back and letting out a laugh with Ranma sweat dropping before holding his hands together. "Now then, I hear you're quite the fighter."
"Damn right."
"Good. Shego is very skilled herself, and I have an annoying nemesis that has constantly thwarted my plans constantly, so I need someone who can keep up. My other henchmen are….rather pathetic to be honest."
"Ok…. and just to be clear for this job I have to guard you and fight your nemesis...and that's it?" She asked hesitantly.
"Of course. I'm the evil genius here and you do most of the fighting, it's all very simple."
"Good, that I can do no problem." sighed Ranma before following Drakken as he walked through some sliding doors and she looked around the cave lair. "So...just out of curiosity, but what is your plan?"
"It's simple, I am creating a machine that will allow me to control the weather!" He said as he began to laugh maniacally. "With it, I will hold the entire world in my hands as they will be unable to stop me from unleashing the forces of mother nature across the globe! If they wish to keep me from causing TOO much destruction, they will make me the complete ruler of the world, or suffer!"
'Why does that sound like something I've heard from a cartoon?' She thought before shrugging. 'Eh, what's the worst that could happen?'
"Now then, I think Shego left one of her jumpsuits behind, I think it should fit you and will be more stable than your regular clothes."
"Nope, no way." she frowned. "I'm sticking with these. I work better in them and trained in them for years. You want me to do a good job? Let me wear what I need in a fight and you won't regret it."
"Sorry, union laws say you have to wear something official."
Ranma felt her eye twitch and let out a low groan. "Let's see it first."
(Later)
"Huh, this isn't as bad as I thought." She said as she looked at herself in the mirror, wearing Shego's jumpsuit. "I half expected it to be a bikini at this point."
"Oh please, Shego would have my head if I ever saw her one." Drakken shivered at the pain and focused. "Now then, I will get the machine up and running, you keep an eye out for Kim Possible."
"Relax, I'll take care of everything." boasted Ranma cracking her knuckles. 'Alright, this isn't too bad, the boss isn't a perv, the uniform is kinda nice, AND I get to fight someone!'
Drakken was pleased and started getting the power going on a huge tower reaching the ceiling while Ranma looked around.
'Wonder what this Kim looks like. Must be some expert agent if this guy's having trouble.'
CRASH
Suddenly a window broke as two figures fell down and landed in front of Ranma and Drakken.
"Sorry Drakken, not this time."
"Kim Possible!" He shouted as Ranma blinked in surprise.
'A teenage girl? That's his nemesis?'
"You and Shego….did you turn Shego into a badly made clone of me?"
"No, this is a substitute while Shego's out on vacation. Miss Saotoma, meet Kim Possible."
"...really?" she turned to him while pointing at Kim. "She's the one causing you trouble?"
"Hey, she is surprisingly capable at thwarting my plans! Just fight her!"
"Alright." she shrugged and took a fighting stance with Kim doing the same.
"I might look it, but I'm not your average girl."
"I was gonna say the same."
Both stared the other down before running, taking a leap at the same time and their kicks meeting dead on while Ron himself stayed back for obvious reasons.
"Why can't we just get a break and thwart the evil plan without someone new coming in and making it hard?" Ron groaned as Rufus nodded. "You got this Kim!"
Both landed before Ranma lunged at Kim, who narrowly jumped back from a well placed aim at her side before front flipping over her and tried to sweep her legs down, but Ranma quickly jumped over the leg and landed, before swinging her foot up and nailed Kim in the face, sending her flying back. "Come now, is that the best you have?" She called as she raced forward, attempting to punch Kim while she was down, only for her to roll away at the last minute.
"Not at all." Smirked Kim before got back on her feet, and front flipped over Ranma before running towards Drakken.
"Oh no you don't!" Ranma called, racing after her and grabbing at her legs. This tripped Kim up which gave Ranma the chance to pull, and yell out as she got Kim up as she swung and threw her back where Ron was hiding behind some crates, with Kim crashing into them.
"KP, who is this crazy lady?"
"I don't know, but she's definitely got moves." She got up and rubbed her neck. "Ron, try and see if you can get over to Drakken while I distract her."
"Will do." Ron said as Kim grinned, only for Ranma to grab her once more and throw her at another wall. He winced while the girl looked at him and gave a glare.
"You try anything, and I'll use you as a punching bag like your girlfriend." Before she ran at Kim with Ron paling and gulping.
"Uh….Rufus? Mind taking this one?"
"Ye ye." The naked role mat nodded as he jumped out of Ron's pocket and dashed over to the giant machine. Said machine was whirling to life as Drakken rubbed his hands.
"Yes, in no time I shall have the power! Maybe a nice blizzard in Washington will make it clear I am not to be denied." he chuckled as he glanced over at Ranma and Kim's fight. "Hmmm, this Saotome woman is good, and she doesn't throw plasma around either…..maybe it's time I replace Shego for good?"
Ranma smirked as she blocked several strikes Kim threw at her, then ducked from a swipe before landing a palm strike, knocking the wind out of the cheerleader who stumbled back and held the spot. "Come on, you got some moves, but nothing I can't handle. How's a girl like you stop a grown guy like Drakken all the time?"
"Ugh, usually this is easier." She groaned as she glared at Ranma. 'How is she so good, and where has she been all this time?'
Suddenly the large weather machine began to smoke as a loud rattling sound could be heard from inside.
"What?! No no no! My machine!" Drakken cried pushing buttons and pulling levers. "What's going on?!"
"I dunno, I'm kinda occupied right no- hey!" Ranma called as she ducked a haymaker from Kim. She aimed a roundhouse kick, but Kim managed to jump up and springboard off it, landing a strike to Ranma's face making her stumble back and hold the spot. "Not bad, but it'll take more than that to take me down."
"Don't need to." smirked Kim before she ran back over to Ron, who had gotten Rufus back in his pocket before the two ran to the exit.
"Ranma, it's time to go, this thing is gonna blow!"
"On it!" Ranma called as she grabbed Drakken, threw him over her shoulder like a bag of potatoes and ran to the exit. The place started to shake with parts blowing up, Ranma managing to make it out and jump off the cliff, landing them in the water right as the place blew up. "Damn… sorry your plan didn't work."
"Damn it! Even when she's distracted, she still ruins my evil plan!" Drakken growled. "How could this possibly get worse?!"
"DRAKKEN! Why is the lair destroyed?!"
"Uh...am I seeing a woman with green skin?" Ranma asked as she looked up to see what looked like a hovercraft heading towards them, piloted by a green woman wearing a jumpsuit very similar to the one Ranma was wearing.
"Oh! Uh, Shego! What uh...what are you doing back here so soon?" Greeted Drakken nervously.
"I came to grab some money, but instead I see everything destroyed an-" Shego ranted before spotting Ranma. "Uh...sorry, who are you?"
"Ranma."
"Who the fuck is Ranm- is that my jumpsuit?!"
"He made me wear it!" Ranma quickly pointed at Drakken, not needing to get another woman pissed off and wanting her head, she had plenty of those already.
"You hired someone to replace me?!"
"N-Now now Shego, it's not like that. I just needed an extra pair of hands while you were on vacation is all." He protested. "Y-You sprung this vacation thing on me right as I was almost done with my weather drone, so I needed someone and well….she did good?"
"Oh yeah, I can tell she did a great job." Remarked Shego rolling her eyes while facepalming.
"Hey! She got the drop on me! I didn't think that sidekick of hers would be that dangerous." Ranma frowned. "Next time I won't let him slip by."
"Next time?! Drakken, you better not be replacing me!"
"It's just temporary until you're done with your vacation I swear!" He said, holding up his hands. "I swear!"
"Well my vacation is done now I guess, all my money was in that base damn it!"
"Oh…..uh….oopsie." Drakken said nervously as he turned to Ranma. "Uh...I guess you can go home now?"
"Yeah, and you might wanna swim." She spoke seeing Shego's hands light up before she ducked under the water and swam off. "Well, it was nice while it las- wait, he didn't pay me yet!"
(Later)
"Ugh, he barely gave me enough to get home, are you sure this next job is gonna pay well?"
"I guarantee it, this employer pays exclusively with gold coins."
"Are they real?"
"Yes, in fact I have a few right here." She said as she rummaged through her desk before producing a small gold coin.
Ranma raised an eyebrow and grabbed one, giving it a close look over. "Looks real...I think…"
"So, will you take the job?"
"Well…." Ranma thought, imagining paying off Nabiki for good, and watching her drool over the coins. "Alright, if I can get lots of these, maybe it'll be more worth it."
(Later)
'This is not worth it.' Ranma thought as she stood outside, trying not to look down at her 'uniform'. 'I was wrong, so so wrong.' She thought, looking down at her clothes, or rather lack of. She was wearing a white and green turtle shell on her back, with a bikini top and bottom colored the same way and….that was it. 'What is with these weirdos making me dress up in weird clothes?! Good thing Nabiki isn't here to take pictures.'
"Alright new girl, now I'm gonna explain what we do here." Spoke a yellow turtle with a red and white shell instead who barely reached her waist. "We here under King Bowser have a simple job, to make sure Mario doesn't get to the castle and rescue the princess."
"Ok, and how do we do that?" She asked as she tried not to think about how a turtle can talk. 'It's probably a robot, or has some kind of curse on it….I swear if this bikini turns me into a turtle I'm kicking Bowser's ass.'
"By walking back and forth." he explained simply with Ranma raising an eyebrow.
"And?"
"And if we touch them they're stopped, but only if our head or tails touch them, not if they jump on our shells."
"...really?" Ranma asked with a groan. 'Is this another amusement park like that hell place?'
"Yup, so just do what I do and you'll be just fine." he remarked before he started to walk back and forth in front of her on the path with Ranma slumping her shoulders.
"Does any of that ever work?"
"Of course...sometimes, now walk rookie!"
"Fine." she groaned before starting to walk back and forth in place. 'This is stupid, this has to be the most meaningless job yet.'
"I see him coming!" called out a Goomba.
"Alright, this is what we've trained for, get ready!"
'Trained? Pacing isn't training!' Ranma thought as she turned around to see a short man in red hopping towards her.
"Not so fast Mario! Face the fury of us Koopa Troopas!" Called the turtle. "Alright rookie, walk towards him!"
"Yeah yeah, I'm on it." She grumbled before walking towards the man, noting he was about the same size as the turtle. 'Really? This guy? This is who that weird guy in the turtle costume was worried about?'
Mario stopped however and looked up at Ranma. "Huh, you know I've never met a female Koopa before. Didn't even know you guys could get that tall."
"I'm not a Koopa, I'm just a temp." She said with a sigh. "Any chance you can just surrender?"
"No can do, I've got a princess to save." He jumped up onto Ranma's head, and landed behind her, but was confused to see her still there with her glaring at him.
"What's the big idea?" she rubbed the spot.
"Huh, that's odd. Usually jumping in their heads is all it takes. Let me try again." he jumped up and did the same thing, which just made Ranma annoyed as he jumped back. "Hmm, this has never happened before."
"Well stop it damn it!"
"Ah, I see the problem, I wasn't landing on the shell, let me try again."
"Screw this, I'm doing it my way." she growled as Mario jumped, but found himself yanked down by the feet and held upside down by her, catching him off guard. "I'm gonna show you what this girl can do that ISN'T pacing back and forth."
"Mama Mia! T-This isn't right, this is a cheating!" Mario cried out, his eyes wide. "You're supposed to go into your-a shell!"
"Not this time buster."
(Later)
"Uh, Bowser sir?"
"What, what is i-"
"The uh, new hire beat up Mario. What do we do now?"
The large dragon blinked in confusion. "Wait, what are you on about?"
"Well ya see sir. She ran into Mario, but...he couldn't crush her when he hopped on her. In fact, she actually did something that wasn't pacing. She actually beat him up."
"Wha- why would she do that? Didn't you tell her what to do?!"
"Yes! I even showed her, but she did something different! Mario is beaten, which means no ones coming to save the princess."
"...Shit, this is bad." Bowser groaned. "Our deal with the mushroom kingdom is over, we're screwed." Bowser groaned. "Who's going to save Peach now?"
"Well there's always Luigi."
"Ugh, no one likes Luigi, people like Mario!"
"What should we do then?"
"I dunno, our contract with the mushroom kingdom is hard to get around, everytime we kidnap Peach and Mario rescues her the kingdom gets to impose a special new 'hero' tax that people are too distracted to remember about." Bowser groaned. "Wait...is Mario dead?"
"No, just beat up."
"Good, good which means we're not completely screwed."
"What should I do about the new girl?"
"Pull her out of active service, if she beats anyone else up we'll have a problem….ok, she was new, different, we can just claim she was an imposter, simple enough."
"But...what do we do with her then? We have her under contract for the next week and a half."
"Give her some boring job that is guaranteed to not see any action." He said before grinning. "I got it….lock her up with Peach, until Peach is rescued she is there to entertain Peach."
"I'm on it sir." The Koopa said as he waddled off, Bowser chuckling evilly.
"That will teach her to ignore my orders, mwahahaha!"
(2 days later)
"Sir? Uh, we have a small problem."
"Ugh, what is it now?"
"That new girl we sent to keep the princess entertained? Yeah….she kinda….broke out and wants something more action related than staying in a cell."
"What?! What do you mean she broke out?"
"She uh...knocked down the cell wall."
"Well where is she now?!"
"Training."
"Training… damn it, what am I going to do with her, she refuses to listen to me, beats up Mario, what am I supposed to do with her?!"
"Well….we could try and bribe her into leaving. I mean, if she gets paid more than what the usual rate is, she might be willing to scram."
"That could work, but what kind of example would that set for the rest of my army?" he questioned before there was a knock at the doors. "Who is it?"
"It's me, Ranma!"
"You! You were supposed to stay with Peach! What do you want?!"
She pushed the doors open and walked inside. "I've been meaning to ask this, but why don't you give all those Koopa guys hammers? It'd make things easier on you to keep anyone away."
"Hammers are reserved for the special Koopas."
"Why? They don't look that different besides having helmets."
"It's tradition, don't worry about it."
"So what? I'm not supposed to actually do my job?"
"You were hired to follow my orders, not attempt to restructure my entire army and not do what you were ordered to do!" He frowned. "Just do what I say when I say it."
"Why?! These rules are stupid, I cna do so much more than what you're letting me!"
"Quiet! Hired help is supposed to listen to orders, not question them!" Bowser roared. "Now go back to your post with the princess!"
"Or what?" Ranma growled. "Make me lizard breath, I will not be sidelined for being too good at my job!"
"You dare back talk to me? If you don't get back to what I told you, I'll-"
(Later)
"Uh….you do know you're not supposed to go up to your employee and punt them into a pool of lava, right?"
"He was asking for it!"
"Yeah…. Still we usually frown on that Ranma."
"Given what he made me wear? He was asking for it."
"Ranma, given what you've told me you got off lucky you were wearing that, I've heard of some employers that give string out as 'uniforms'." Sighed the woman. "Still this is a problem."
"Well if you don't have anyone else, I'll leave."
"I never said that, it's just that the next one well… we've heard some problems from them, but given your performance on your last job, it's the only one available to you."
"Really?" she looked surprised.
"Yes, though given your skill set you might fit in well with this new employer….of course, if you want something else the first place you worked at has been requesting you come back, so that's always an option."
"Uh...what's this new job like?" Ranma asked, repressing a shudder.
""From what I can tell, they are a martial art grou-"
"Sold!"
"But don't you want to hear anything else?"
"Nope, martial artists are all I need to here, let's do this!"
"Alright, if you say so." She said with a sigh. 'Her funeral I suppose.'
'Yes, finally, a martial artist group, finally something normal!'
(Later)
"So, you're the new recruit they send us?" Asked a figure in a skin tight black suit and a large white mask that had a strange red symbol on it, like an eye.
"Yep, Ranma Saotome here, I'm ready to fight!" she grinned with pride as the figure looked her over.
"You don't look like you could do much."
"Looks are deceiving, I can take anything you throw at me." Ranma said, a large grin on her face, the martial artist practically vibrating in anticipation.
"Oh yeah? Alright, let's see what you've got." The figure said as they pulled out a handheld scythe. "Attack me, and if you win you may start working."
"HA!" she let out, already in the air with her foot out, making him quickly take a swipe, only for his eyes to widen behind the mask when in slow motion the foot seemingly pivoted right on the edge of the scythe, leading to the other foot to come swinging down and landing a hit on his cheek, sending him flying against the ground. "How was that?" She asked with a grin as he began to pick himself up.
"Ow….well, guess you weren't talking big." he rubbed his cheek and felt slightly dazed. "You're in."
"Yes!" Ranma said as a figure appeared behind her in a puff of smoke, wearing the same thing as the one she knocked down holding an extra mask and uniform.
"Here's your uniform."
She turned and accepted them while looking at the uniform over closely. "Wait, this thing won't rip open as soon as I move will it?"
"It shouldn't, but if you get hit with a sword it will most likely rip, like any material."
"Does it barely cover me?"
"No, it covers the whole body."
"Is it the same as everyone else?"
"More or less." They said with a head tilt. "Some others have armor, but they have a different job than you, other than that everyone else wears the same thing."
"Sweet!" Ranma said with a grin. "This is the best job ever!"
"Just know that we of the Yiga Clan are no slouches. We don't take in just anyone. Which means if you slack off, we get rid of the dead weight." The ninja said as they crossed their arms. "You're expected to train, hold nothing back, work hard and...are you crying?"
"Sorry, it's just...this is perfect." She sniffled, wiping away her tears of joy. 'This is the greatest day of my life, getting paid to kick ass!'
"Well don't get misty eyed when we do a job. Now get the uniform on and get to work."
"Yes sir!" Ranma said as she rushed off to change. 'This is great, they actually hired me for what I'm good at, no weird bosses, I'm seeing no downsides with this job!'
"Do you think that new girl will last?"
"Probably not, she seems too emotional… send her on a banana raid at Gerudo village, either she'll get us bananas or we''ll get rid of her."
"Yes sir."
(Later)
"Tell me again why we're stealing Bananas?" Ranma whispered, a large stack of yellow fruit in her arms as she followed one of the yiga members through an alley.
"Because we're running low on them at the hideout." Whispered the member as they looked around for guards. "Ok, we're nearly out of the village, get ready to run so-"
"STOP! Thief!"
"Thief?!"
"Get them!"
"Run!" The Yiga called as Ranma started to see figures appearing behind them and giving chase.
"Right!" She called as she started running. 'This'll be easy. I've been running away with stolen stuff since I could walk.'
'Time to lose the useless rookie.' The yiga thought before quickly turning around and kicking her legs out from under her, sending her falling down as the Yiga continues to run.
"Hey! Wait!" Ranma called out, caught off guard and pissed. "Get back here you bastard!"
"Get the thief!" Called a voice behind Ranma before several figures dogpiled on top of her.
"Hey get off!" yelled Ranma struggling, but noted something pressed against the top of her head. 'Oh no….why do I have a bad feeling about this?'
"You won't get away this time thief!"
"Get off of me!" Ranma shouted, trying to squirm her way free. This was met with her arms grabbed as she was hoisted up and restrained, only to see it was both several woman, all red haired and very dark skinned. They all also seemed to be around seven or eight feet tall, and all were looking at Ranma with frowns. "Let go of me!"
"You will pay for your thievery child."
"Child?!"
"Bring her to the holding cell, her fate will be decided later."
Ranma tried to swing a leg up near one of their face's, only for it to be caught and squeezed tightly, making her groan in pain before she was dragged away. 'Damn it… what are they going to do to me as punishment? I was only stealing some bananas.'
"If you attempt to resist, we will use force." The woman dragging her informed. "Anything you would like to declare criminal?"
"That I want a lawyer?" Ranma chuckled before the woman frowned and shook her a bit.
"Jokes will not work on us." She said with a frown. "Filthy Yiga scum." She muttered before eyeing the mask. "Let's see what this cowardly thief looks like."
One of them grabbed the mask and yanked it off, but their eyes widened when they saw Ranma's face.
"What?" Ranma said as she saw them all staring at her. 'That can't be good.'
"You….You're a Gerudo?"
"A what?" Ranma said in confusion. 'It's a better title than some of the other things I've been called, but what are they talking about?'
"How is this possible?"
"What is she doing with a Yiga mask and clothing?"
"She looks so pale, did they bleach her skin?!"
"Yes...they must have tortured her, brainwashed her!"
"Hey, what are you talking about?"
"Child… you've been lost, brainwashed, turned against your own people, but now, now you are home." spoke one holding Ranma by the cheeks with Ranma looking at her like she was nuts.
"...did you hit your head on something?"
"She doesn't even know what she's lost, how sad." One said with a sigh. "We'll have to help her, reteach her everything she's forgotten."
"What are you chicks talking about?"
"We're talking about how you have been brainwashed by the Yiga, turned against us, the Gerudo, your own race, but we will help you, we will reteach you what you've forgotten."
"Lady, I'm just a temp for the week. I never heard what a 'Gerudo' is till now."
"Truly your mind is broken little one, but come, your reeducation begins now."
"Hey! My mind is fine!" Ranma protested. "What do you mean by reeducation?! Just let me go, or throw me in prison!"
"You'll understand little one."
"Just let me go back to the Yiga!"
(Later)
"So… uh…. Interesting choice of clothes Ranma, how was your time with the Yiga clan?"
"I now want to burn it to the ground the next time I see one of those masked assholes." Ranma growled, her skin lightly tanned and she was dressed in a scratched up green top that showed off her chest and a pair of light green puffy pants and a pair of pink heels. "They left me in that town of nuts!"
"Well…..you look good if that helps."
"It doesn't." She growled in annoyance. "Those weirdos kept insisting I was one of them because my hair was the same color as theirs."
"Well at least you came back, that's a good sign."
"Barely, I had to fight my way out! By the time I could escape my week was up and I had to come back here!"
"Well….I'm sure we'll find some other job that-"
"NO! No no no no no! No more! I'm done!" Ranma slammed her hands on the desk with a growl. "I'm not taking another job from this place for as long as I live! I'd rather take up a boring ass job around here! At least then I know what to expect!"
"I'm sorry to hear that, but are you sure? I'm sure we can find a normal job for you, maybe a secretary?"
"The last job actually had me with my skills in use, and look how that worked out!"
"Well there are always hazards, and that group has been blacklisted since from your report they purposely let you get caught."
"I've barely made any cash!" Ranma growled. "You told me I could make a lot of cash with these jobs!"
"I said you could make a lot with permanent jobs, I did tell you temp service paid less!" The woman snapped. "Why do you think the temp jobs are so hard, it's because these are the people who keep losing their workers! If you took a permanent job you wouldn't have to pick through the dregs!"
"Bullshit! I'm out!"
"I advise you to reconsider Miss Saotome!" The woman called. "You have had a string of bad luck, it happens, just try one more job."
"Give me one good reason why I should."
"Simple, while you were gone your father has apparently gotten into debt again and has informed us that he is trying to sell you off to a new suitor." The woman said as she looked down at a sheet of paper on her desk. "He has also come to us while you were gone, bringing a small man who trashed the office, and then offered to sell you to us to pay off the damages. Frankly Miss Saotome, you need a job, and these will pay you more than any job you can get in town, and it seems that it is in your best interest to leave town as soon as possible."
"...just tell me what the job is." she groaned, slumping her head down.
"Now that's more like it, this one should theoretically be easier, it's more or less a secretary role in a major corporation that specializes in robotics."
"You're sure it's just that?"
"Yes, the employer has specifically commented on how he has no interest in any fighting to be done by you, you should just be doing paperwork, it's the safest job I can find, does that sound like something you'd be interested in?"
"Do I really have much of a choice at this point?"
"At this point? Not at all."
"Well there's your answer." Ranma groaned. 'At least this should be easy.'
(Later)
"Hello, I'm Ranma Saotome, glad to be working here." Greeted Ranma with a bored tone and neutral expression.
"Yes yes, hello, I am Lord Boxman. So you're my new secretary?" The short round man asked, looking her over. "Can you do paperwork and stay out of my way?"
"Sure, no prob." Replied Ranma, her tone at this point showed she was tired and just went with what the guy needed, even if she really didn't want to.
"Good, now just sign this liability waiver and get to work." He said as he thrusted a clipboard towards her.
She took it and jotted her name down without reading it and gave it back. "Here."
"Good, now go to work, your station will be on the factory floor near the conveyor belts, you can't miss it."
"Yes sir." She sighed as she turned to leave. 'This is gonna suuuuuck.' She thought as she trudged away. 'At least I don't have to wear a weird costume like the last couple of places.'
'This teen better not let me down. Eh, I'm not losing much if she is, I'll just have to give her an upgrade then.' Boxmore thought as he watched Ranma leave. 'At least she signed the waiver without complaint.'
(Later)
Ranma groaned, organizing papers on her desk in different baskets, numerous big piles around her which felt like they kept growing. 'I knew this was gonna suck! What idiot decided paperwork was a good idea?!'
"Hey new girl, got some more paper for ya." Greeted Ernesto carrying a stack of paperwork he set on the desk, before it shook and broke from under all the weight, which also covered Ranma in it. "Oooh….oops, sorry."
"Ugh, why is there so much paperwork if this box guy has made hundreds of robots like you?!"
"He said we needed to diversify our hiring practices."
Ranma gave a deadpan stare as Ernesto walked off before she groaned. "Great, gotta fix this mess now." She muttered as she got up. "Now where do I find a new desk?"
"I am Jethro." spoke the tiny robot moving over, pulling a wagon behind him with twice as much paper stacks in it.
"No, no no, I can't do more paperwork until I get a new de-" Ranma started, only for the small robot to turn over the cart, sending a mountain of paper cascading down at her. She cried out before getting silent as she was buried again with Jethro leaving. 'Ugh, this couldn't possibly get any worse! I think I was better off with those white haired nuts in 'hell'.'
That's when an alarm started going off with red lights blaring.
"Huh? What's going on?!" Ranma cried as she poked her head out of the mountain of paper, only to see several metal arms reaching down and grabbing robots at random. She saw them get put into boxes that closed up and were loaded into cannons which shot them through the holes above them. "Huh, well that's weird… good thing I don't have to go through that at least."
With that she went back to getting the paper, unaware of the paper under her foot before she turned, and lost her balance, leading to her stumbling backwards and falling on the conveyor belt. "Stupid paper." She muttered as the belt carried her away before she could step off. "Ugh, who designed this place?!"
Before she could climb off, two robot arms moved down and grabbed her, picked her up, and moved her over to one of the boxes. "Hey, wait, I'm not a robot, let me go!" She shouted as they dumped her in and the box closed behind her. She got up and tried hitting at the side, but it wouldn't budge as she felt the box get moved down something long. "Hey! Don't you dare fire me out of this thing!"
BOOM
Damn it!" She cried as she was suddenly forced back as the box went flying through the air. "This wasn't in the job description!" She tried to brace herself as she felt it start falling and counted down the seconds till impact. She shuddered as the box landed, slightly surprised how soft it felt before the box exploded, leaving her exposed in a large cloud of smoke.
"It's another wave, get them!"
Ranma blinked at the sunlight, with three teens running right at her before skidding to a stop when they saw her more clearly. "Hey, what's going on here?"
"Wow, it's a new line of robot, this must be Boxman's secret weapon!" The blue teen said as the other two nodded.
"Secret weapon?" Ranma raised an eyebrow.
"Quick, take her out before she unleashes her secret weapon!" Called the youngest as he seemed to punch in Ranma's direction, making a large fist of blue energy shoot out at her.
Ranma quickly front flipped over it and ran at them, ducking from pink beam the blue teen shot from his finger before delivering a jab to his midsection, sending him crashing into the purple haired girl.
"Rad, Enid!" The younger one called before turning to Ranma with a frown. "You'll pay for that….uh…"
"Ranma."
"Ranma!"
"Hey, you attacked me first, it's called self defense kid."
"You came in Boxmore's box to attack the Plaza!"
"Hey, no I didn't!"
"Did you come in the box that fell from the sky?"
"Well, yes, bu-"
"And did you come from Boxmore across the street?"
"Yes, but I-"
"Then I rest my case!" He declared lunging at her and took numerous punches in a flashy and quick scene….only for it to show he was being held back with one hand against his forehead with Ranma not moving. "Gah! No fair, fight me fairly!"
"No, I don't think I will ki-"
"Hey, Ko, duck!"
"Huh?" Ranma looked up as Ko ducked, and wound up getting a flying purple kick hitting her and sending her flying back. "Gah!" She cried before hitting something hard. She looked back to see it was a massive pile of broken robots.
"Bullseye."Enid chuckled.
"Oh no, woe is me, I got hit." Ranma said dramatically, rolling her eyes. "It'll take more than that to keep me down!"
"Oh I know, Rad?" Enid said as Ranma and the entire pile suddenly began to glow pink.
"Already on it. One way trip back to Boxmore, here you go!" He called as Ranma's eyes widened before suddenly finding herself and the pile flying through the air, back to the factory.
"AHHHHH!" she let out as the pile went crashing through the roof. She groaned as they landed on the floor, the pile burying her in robot parts. 'Ugh...I think I'm just gonna lie here for a bit...and regret everything.' She thought as she began to blackout.
(Later)
'Ugh...what's happening?' Ranma thought, feeling herself moving as she started to regain consciousness. 'Oh yeah, I crashed in...something.' She thought as she began to open her eyes. 'Did they move me to a hospital room or something? How am I moving?'
"Welp, time to melt down these old robot parts."
'Wait, did he say melt?!' Ranma thought as she began to move.
"No you idiot, we need to put it in two piles, melting pile and reusable pile and send them down the conveyor belt."
'Did they not see me?!' She thought as two ice cold hands grabbed her.
"See, this one is pretty much in one piece!"
Ranma got yanked up, blinking and realizing it was Shannon who looked at her in confusion.
"Wait, aren't you that secretary daddy hired?"
"Yes." Ranma groaned. "Can you let me go please?"
"Huh….wait, how did you end up in the broken robot pile then? I thought you were human?"
"It's a long story. Just let me go so I can get back to my work, I need to get a new desk." Ranma said as she tried to stand up, her entire body sore.
"Ok….are you sure you don't wanna get fixed first? You look kinda messed up."
"I've walked off worse stuff than a flying kick." She muttered.
"Ok, well...any chance I can convince you to get an upgrade? I could use a new sister." She said with a devious grin.
"I'm a secretary, not a miracle worker." She said as she shook her head.
"Well we can always fix tha-"
"Just let me get back to the mountain that is the stupid paperwork." Ranma growled.
"Fine, fine, one of these belts should take you back." Shannon said as she let Ranma go.
"Thank you." she walked away and looked around at all the various belts. 'Ok…. one of these should take me back, what's the worst that could happen?'
(Later)
"Stupid furnace room…." Ranma muttered, soot covering her as she made her way back to her new desk. "He should label these stupid belts."
"NEW GIRL!" Said mad scientist shouted, making Ranma turn around and groan.
"Yes sir?"
"What's this I hear about you leaving the factory to fight those annoying brats?!" He demanded as she sighed.
"Sir, it wasn't my intention, I slipped and one of your robotic hands forced me into a box and shot me over across the street." She explained. "I was just trying to do my job and things happened which I never even asked for."
"You knew the risks when you signed the waiver." Boxman said with a frown. "Get back to work, this is your final warning, any more slacking off and you will be reassigned."
"Right away sir." She said as she got behind her desk, groaning as she looked at the paper. 'Maybe being reassigned wouldn't be too bad.'
(Later)
"Ok, halfway done, guess there's hope after all." Ranma said as she put a new stack of papers in the 'done' pile on her desk. "I might actually get used to this." She said as she reached for the next stack of papers. 'Once you get used to the workload this job isn't so bad, stay off the conveyor belts and I'll be fine….maybe I'll see if I can stay on after the end of the week.'
"Hey Ranma!"
"Huh?" She said as she turned to see Shannon walking towards her. "What is it? I'm still dealing with paperwork."
"You're still working on that? Boring!"
"Trust me, I know the feeling." Remarked Ranma who resumed moving the papers around. "So what do you need?"
"Well, I had a fun idea and was hoping you could help me."
"What is it?" Ranma asked, half paying attention as she started the next piece of paperwork, missing the devious grin that flashed on the robot's face.
"Oh nothing too big, it won't take too long. I just need you to follow me."
"Sure, as long as it isn't out of the factory." Ranma said as she got up. "I could use a break anyway."
"Great! Don't worry, it's right here, and not that far away." She said as she lightly grabbed Ranma's arm and pulled her to her feet. She started leading the martial artist while chuckling in her head. 'This is gonna be great~'
"So, what did you need help with… Shannon, right?"
"Yup. I want you to take a look at a new invention daddy is working on."
"A new invention? What does it do?" Ranma asked, mildly curious. 'Is it a new robot?'
"A brand new roboticizer."
"Robotcizer?" Ranma asked as Shannon led her into a large room that had a massive machine in the center. "What is that?"
"It's meant to be used against those losers at the plaza to turn them into robots."
"Wait, this can turn people into robots?" Ranma asked in shock as they got closer. "Damn...that's pretty crazy."
"He figures what better way to stop them, then by turning them into robots to work around here?" Shannon said with a shrug. "I dunno, he had some complicated reason."
"Wow…" Ranma said, unaware Shannon was now behind her. "Did he already test it out?"
"Not yet, so let's try it!" Shannon pushed Ranma right inside, making her turn as Shannon pushed a button with the door closing.
"Wait, no! Shannon, open the door right now!" Ranma called as she banged her fists on the door.
"Relax Ranma, I'm sure it won't feel too bad." Smiled the robot. "Look on the bright side, if you turn out alright, daddy will be happy it works, and we can be official sisters, it's a win win for everyone."
"Everyone except me! I don't wanna be a robot!" Ranma cried as the machine began to hum to life.
"C'mon, it's great being a robot, it's like being immortal, especially if you're good and daddy starts mass producing you!"
"I'm gonna turn you into scrap!"
"Now that's just rude, I hope you get an attitude change after this." She put her hands on her hips as the machine started to light up.
"SHANNON!" Ranma cried as a circular beam formed on the floor and began to slowly rise up. She clenched her hand and started to slam it against the door harder and harder, using all her anger to fuel her.
"Say, I wonder if I can make this thing turn you into a Shannon, that way we would be even closer than sisters!" The robot said with a grin.
"SCRAP! PILE!" yelled Ranma as she started to kick at the door, a dent beginning to form.
"Hey, stop that! Just let the machine finish!" Shannon cried as she began to hit buttons in a desperate attempt to speed up the machine.
Ranma got so mad her face resembled the color of her hair, and let out a yell before her fist broke through the door, making Shannon jump as the girl started to physically bend the metal apart. "Gah! No no no no no!" She cried as she tried to hit more buttons. "J-Just stop and let the machine work!"
"Forget it!" Ranma roared, making the hole even larger as the machine began to spark. "SCRAP. HEAP!"
"Eeep!" Shannon let out before sparks were seen inside with the lights going nuts. "R-Ranma, the machine!"
"Screw the machine!"
"No, you broke it!" Shannon cried as she backed away.
"And now I'm gonna break you!" Ranma cried as she crawled out of the hole she made. "You're lucky I got out in ti-"
CLANG
She blinked and turned her head, going wide eyed when she saw her foot was made of metal. "W-What?!"
"Seems the machine works….wanna finish?" Shannon chuckled nervously.
"My foot….is metal…."
"The machine was supposed to turn you into a robot, so….yes?" Shannon said as she tilted her head. "What, did you not think I was serious?"
"YOU'RE DEAD!"
(Later)
"So, Miss Saotome, how was your time at Boxmore? Lord Boxman said you were a competent employee and that he wouldn't be opposed to you coming back."
"You tell me." She deadpanned while showing her the metal foot.
"Oh my, is this a new fad?"
"No! One of his crazy robots tried to turn me into a robot!"
"Oh dear, are they trying to rise up against him?"
"No, she just claimed she wanted me as a 'sister'." Ranma growled.
"Well that's sweet...you know, I think we may have something that could possibly fix that, but it is expensive."
"I already have to deal with enough debt as it is, I'll just live with this for the rest of my life. At the very least it's way more durable than before." Ranma groaned. "So, what's my next job, or am I finally out of debt?"
"Oh no, I'm afraid you have barely scratched the surface of your debt~"
"You've gotta be kidding."
"Not at all. Now then, I have several new listings, one for a Mr. Bison who wants help in a tournament, though the outfit he's requested you dress in is quite revealing." She said as she looked at a large binder. "Then there's another for a Dr Eggman in need of someone who isn't an incompetant robot whose easily distracted."
'Ugh, both of those suck.'
"Let's see, there is a strange listing for a ruler from mars, a queen, something or other who wants a competent minion, though there is some kind of note about changing species?" She said as she kept flipping through the list. "Oh! And one from a Miss White Diamond who is interested in what an earth minion would be like."
'Why is she saying there are jobs off the planet?'
"Not interested in going interstellar? How about England, there is a lord...oh that can't be right, Voldemort? Anyway he claims he needs a new minion, and that they should be used to magic."
'I'm not an amazon!'
"What about… say, are you opposed to working for an eco-terrorist? Apparently a Poison Ivy is hiring, in fact there seems to be quite a few hires from the same city, Gotham."
"Isn't there anything nice, easy and normal?" Ranma groaned.
"Uh…..no." She said sheepishly as Ranma groaned. "If you want something familiar some of your old employers have sent requests to rehire you again."
"Oh Kami, no thank you." Ranma groaned. 'At this rate I'm wondering if I should have just let Kuno chase me.'
"Well not to worry, I'm sure we'll find something good." The woman said with a smile. "We always do~"